#if I could vibe with Vegaspete I can handle anything

[sonnburn]

The Universal Reaction to Big Dragon:

[hamliet]

Beauty and the Beast, But Make It BL

Or, about a year after the hype Hamliet finally watches KinnPorsche properly instead of just clips.

My overall thoughts are that I really, really enjoyed it. The characters were likable and interesting, and plenty flawed. The story also had some really fascinating ideas and nice fire, water, and air symbolism, as well as a really beautiful retelling of Beauty & the Beast. The main couples all foiled one another in interesting, thought-provoking ways. VegasPete? Is one of my favorite love stories in any media ever.

The side characters were also really well done, for the most part. I loved Kinn's friends, and Yok was a standout in terms of her mentorly role. And, the other bodyguards each got their own personality. Arm and Big were particular standouts to me, and I appreciated how Big's story arc (his unrequited love for Kinn) was handled: with subtlety, but thematic impact. His sacrifice showed Porsche that love sometimes involves sacrificing for the person you love.

The series also used symbolism fairly well. The lighting always changed to colored/rainbow lighting when it was a romantic scene, and stayed natural when it was not. The use of mirrors and windows, and phoenix/fire with Kinnporsche and water with Vegaspete, was intelligently woven into the story. I do think some of the symbolism was too heavy-handed at points, though.

Of course, because I'm me, I do have quite a few critiques as well, which mostly has to do with what I saw as potential that went untapped. The story never did anything "wrong" exactly, but it just never dug into how much potential it had. The foiling was strongly set up, but it could have been far more powerful than it was.

The plot was basically *vibes* which I'm okay with because I'm not super into plot in general, but unfortunately, as can happen when plot is weak, the themes suffered for it. If plot is a tour guide through a story's themes and characters, this was somewhat of a bumbling one... with an occasional stroke of brilliance that reinforced how satisfying the potential was.

Kinn + Porsche

Let's start with the main couple. I really enjoyed their characters, but I wasn't as invested in them as I was in the other characters I'll be covering. They seemed more like ideas rather than human beings, even though they had more complexity than some of the other, more human characters. While that might sound contradictory, what I mean by that is that the other characters always had drive and purpose for the narrative, while Kinn and Porsche sometimes felt more like vehicles (heh, get it, because--) to get to something that never quite arrived.

Kinn and Porsche also started off the series really strong, but weakened after they got together. After they were together, the writers kept bringing up the issue of "trust" between them, but I wasn't quite sure what they were trying to say about trust. And maybe they were just trying to explore the different sides of trust rather than give any particular message, but I thought it was a bit messily handled.

Still. Still. Porsche's line in the final episode, where he pointed out to Kinn that he was there not because he was on the minor family's side, nor because he was on the major family's side, but because he was on Kinn's side, was beautiful.

Kinn also starts off as a dark foil of Vegas... which is interesting because Vegas is so intensely jealous of Kinn and wants to be like him, and is set up as the antagonist. But we'll get there. Vegas kidnaps Porsche and attempts to make it look like he was assaulted, but Kinn saves him... only to assault Porsche himself. (I did appreciate the way the narrative did frame it well, which I wasn't expecting in a boy's love story.) Kinn then compounded it by punishing Porsche for his mistake--essentially, doing to Porsche what Vegas was doing to Kinn and would later do to Pete.

The irony, of course, is that the narrative still frames Kinn as a protagonist, but without giving him a halo. We're allowed to see that he is, intrinsically, no better of a human being than Vegas. Maybe even worse, depending on how you judge.

Porsche outright telling Kinn that he had hurt him, while Vegas hadn't (even if, kinda) and Kinn actually having to work to earn his forgiveness and trust--all of this was well handled.

Kinn's final realization in the wilderness that he could not keep Porsche and his act of selflessly setting him free , followed by a literal sacrifice, mimics what Vegas would have to do in later episodes with Pete, as well.

When they consensually have sex for the first time, it starts because Vegas again makes a move on Porsche... right in front of a mirror. Then, Kinn bursts in and Vegas leaves, and Kinn takes his place in the mirror with Porsche.

The symbolism is clever here and poignant: Kinn, you are Vegas. I just wish he had been asked to do more with that realization, particularly after the Tawan incident (later).

Again, my main issue is that I wish the show had more an idea of what it wanted to say concerning the theme of "trust" between these two. Especially after they got together, it all seemed a bit hazy.

The theme that was best explored with them was the idea of being a human being. Porsche continually insists that he's a person who decides his future for himself, while Kinn is like "I control your life; your life is mine, I can kill you at any time because you're just a bodyguard" early on. However, towards the end of the series, when they exchange quasi-wedding vows in one of the final scenes on a ship on the same river where Kinn first offered Porsche a job and Porsche told him he'd rather drown, there's a really beautiful moment where Kinn tells Porsche that they are making a new family together, and Porsche tells him again that he's not on any family's side--just Kinn's side. And then he tells him:

Porsche: All my life... is yours Kinn: I promise you, I'll treasure it.

It's almost fairy tale esque in this scene, showing how far they've come. It also emphasizes that the point is that Kinn recognizes Porsche's humanity, and Porsche still affirms his own. Humanity is not a drawback but a benefit, because Porsche chooses Kinn, and choice is the realm of human beings.

Vegas + Pete

*screams* VEGASPETE ARE EVERYTHING

But honestly. I've talked how Vegas (who is, undoubtedly, the best written character) foils Kinn and will talk about Tawan, Kim, and Tankhun later on. Firstly, though, we have Vegas and Pete, asking the main thematic question of this series:

(As a human, of course. Except that's not easy.)

Vegas was so clearly my favorite type of character (Lee Yut-Lung from Banana Fish, Akutagawa Ryunosuke from Bungo Stray Dogs, Illumi Zoldyck from Hunter x Hunter, etc.) Someone who just so, so desperately wants to be loved, especially by his father, and cannot fathom why he does not have it. So he lashes out at everyone around him, especially those he's jealous of. He might claim that he's jealous of Kinn's power, but he's really jealous that Kinn is loved not just by Porsche, but by his brothers, by his bodyguards, even by his father (for all Korn's faults--and we're gonna get there--I do think Korn loves his sons).

This is so profoundly seen when Vegas initially kidnaps Pete and forces him to call his Grandma. Vegas leans in, groping Pete to make him terrified, but as soon as Pete tells his grandma he loves her, Vegas jerks back and rips the phone out of his hand. It's another reminder to Vegas that love exists, but he can't have it.

The only thing that truly shows Vegas love is his hedgehog... which of course is a symbol for Vegas himself (here's where I think the symbolism was too heavy-handed--not that he had a hedgehog nor what happened with it, but in that Pete actually bluntly tells him that he is the hedgehog. Leave it to your viewers, we're smart enough to get that.) The hedgehog, of course, is prickly and spiky but soft inside, just like Vegas.

The hedgehog is also specifically Vegas's inner child, in Jungian terms. It's always sick and dying, and he's afraid of it dying, but also afraid to actually recognize it. He doesn't name the hedgehogs because they always die. This is symbolizing how Vegas never really had a childhood, or the chance to develop normally. His father always beat it out of him and let him think that it was his fault, just like Vegas blames himself for the hedgehogs' deaths.

Vegas's father is the biggest obstacle in his growth. He can't ever truly grow up and overcome the father figure until his father's gone. Again, the symbolism is pretty blatant (but well done): Vegas is literally reading the novel Childhood's End, but his father slaps it out of his hand.

The message is clear: Vegas can't ever grow up until he lets go of his father. Fittingly, he's then seen reading the book again after making a meal for Pete.

Vegas and Pete are actually quite similar, not just in their terrible dads, but in that both of them, at their core, truly don't believe they are human beings. They don't believe they deserve love, or life, or anything. They're animals. Hence, Pete actually being called a pet is actually also Vegas pointing out how he sees himself.

But what they really want is to be human, which means to be free and to live.

Consequently, both Vegas and Pete are suicidal. Vegas drops about a million hints that he wants to die before he actually attempts it, even telling Pete he's feeding him so "you'll have energy to kill me."

Vegas self-harms too, and Pete tells him not to. Yet, after they have sex, Pete hits himself when Vegas can't see, telling himself that he didn't like it, even though he initiated. The reason they are both lost after they have sex is that neither of them are free physically or emotionally.

We see Vegas trying to do the right thing and making a fancy meal for Pete, even standing up to his father for a moment, only to have his father tell him he wishes he wasn't his son. At that added cruelty, Vegas smashes the meal he made, proving that even though he thought he was free of his father because he was in love with Pete, he wasn't. Not yet.

And Pete thought he was going to be free because of sex with Vegas, but Vegas still left him chained. Hence, he attempts suicide in front of Vegas. He also then calls Vegas out on everything in a well-done way, pointing out that Vegas is projecting his feelings of inhumanity onto him:

Need me? Like a pet with no feelings for emotional projection? I'm a human, Vegas... I have nothing left, not even my humanity.

Pete is then pointing out to us that after Vegas's childhood is grieved (shown in how Pete helps Vegas bury and put flowers at the hedgehog's grave), Pete embodies Vegas's humanity. If the hedgehog and his childhood should be grieved, because he'll never get them back, he can still have a human future in Pete. But to do that he has to embrace his inner humanity, and he cannot chain it up and take it out when he wants it, because that's just not how human beings work.

Even through making Pete realize and admit just how miserable he was--that he has no use and should just die, thereby showing Vegas that Pete truly does understand how Vegas feels--Vegas doesn't find what he thought he'd find. It's not comforting to be empathized with when it means someone you love is suffering so.

Vegas's apology to Pete is genuine, like Kinn's earlier, and heartfelt. Once his dad is dead, you'd really think he'd be free, but he's very much not. All his self-loathing, all his worst fears, have finally come true. Freedom isn't really found through death, but through embracing life and love. The hedgehog didn't have to die for Vegas to live, because death isn't freeing really. But choosing to live, even when you're in pain, for someone you love--that can be freeing.

Pete's "there is no legacy so rich as honesty" tattoo is somewhat amusing to me, because the quote comes from Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well, a play that is considered a "problem play," in that no one can quite decide what genre it is. Also, "honesty" in the play's context is actually "virginity," which also seems to fit, but anyways. The genre/problem play thing is interesting because Kinnporsche itself, as a show, seems to zig-zag between whether it's a comedy, romance, or serious crime drama. I think the reference is somewhat meta, but should have been delved into more.

The play is also relevant in that All's Well That Ends Well is about families, too--particularly how sons struggle to define themselves when it comes to being compared to their fathers, and how they react when they feel like they have limited choices in life. Hrm, hrm, Vegas.

Anyways, Vegas and Pete totally deserved their beautiful ending. When Vegas wakes up post being shot and tells Pete:

You're not my pet. You're the most important person in my life.

It's a great way to tie the themes of their arcs together. Firstly, it is a fairy tale ending. Secondly, it's an affirmation of Pete's humanity, the thing they both doubted they had. Lastly, it's affirmation that Vegas chooses Pete, and in choosing, affirms his own humanity. That Macau then bursts in calling Pete his brother-in-law and welcoming him to the family is adorable and shows Vegas just how much he has.

Kim + Chay

So now that we've talked about two self-destructive emotionally constipated men, let's talk about the other one in the other major relationship: Kim.

Kim's actor does a great job of showing how Kim maintains a veneer of cool aloofness when Chay confronts him, but is internally panicking. Kim is reckless, running into battle to save Chay in literally nothing but a tank top. When Chay calls him on who he is, Kim doesn't even try to defend himself. When he saves Chay again at Yok's bar, he makes sure Chay doesn't even notice.

Unlike Kinn and Vegas, who are too active and possessive, Kim is too passive and cowardly. He cuts himself off from people not because he doesn't love them--he clearly does--but because he feels like he's bad luck. Essentially, the same issue Chay has--that he feels like he brings bad luck.

But, that's not how life works. Human beings don't bring good or bad luck. It depends on choices, another theme from Vegaspete and Kinnporsche that wasn't delved into as deeply as it should have been. Still, choice is an integral part of being human, and the show does depict this.

Still, it was a nice touch to literally have Kim wear a shirt with the word "human" on the front the same episode Pete insists "I'm a human, Vegas." Pete, of course, tells Vegas he has choices to make, and Vegas then tells Porsche that same thing in the final episode: that it's time to make a choice.

Anyways. The unfortunate thing is that the series didn't fully explore Kimchay in the same way they did Vegaspete. That's especially clear in the cliffhanger ending, though I think it was fairly clear that they were heading towards something positive. After all, Kim finally does something he needed to do: saying outright that he is singing for Porchay. Keep working, boy.

On a production level instead of narrative, I'm guessing the actor's ages may have played a role in them not fully exploring their story. Idk. I think the implications--the fade out with a way-too-dramatic kiss on the cheek that the fade obscured and them waking up together--were that they were sleeping together, but because of the actors' ages they clearly cannot and should not show that. But I wish the writers hadn't let that limit them--there are other ways to show growth and explore issues even if you can't directly use sex to do so. See, the sex scenes between Vegas and Pete and Kinn and Porsche were well done, and always had interesting meaning and commentary to them, which is great. I just wonder if they let the fact that they couldn't use this motif stifle their creativity when it came to exploring Kim and Chay's issues.

Tawan

Tawan's story was heartbreaking. He was a fairly well done, pathetic antagonist. When Vegas proposed to him, knowing tha the didn't love Tawan... that broke my heart. He was suicidal and his death ultimately foreshadowed what Vegas would later attempt to do.

But Tawan was desperate for love--truly desperate. He would do anything to be loved by Kinn, by Vegas, by anyone. But it wasn't really love for a specific person (as shown in how he switches from Kinn to Vegas) so much as that he wanted to feel safe in that love. Because denying love means denying safety, which sets him up as a good foil for Kim (who clearly thinks it's safer for your loved ones not to act like you love them)... but it wasn't ever explored.

Tawan's desperate love also foiled Chay. Yet unlike Tawan, and unlike Kim, Chay is able to express what he wants... and to assert himself when he's been disrespected and not seen as a full human being (Kim seeing him as just Porsche's brother is what breaks him).

Tankhun

Tankhun was everything. I love him. I think they could have done more with him, especially around his relationships with his brothers. Like. We only see the three brothers--Kinn, Tankhun, and Kim--in the same room ONCE in the final episode. Once! A crime, a crime, I tell you! I know next to nothing about how all three of them feel about each other and interact with one another and I WANT IT!

Ahem.

Tankhun is still, in many ways, the beating heart of the series. He wears love and his feelings on his fabulous, colorful, patterned, and often feathered sleeves. He chooses to live how he wishes, but will do things for those he loves.

He's also always right, if you pay attention--he knows Gun is bad news, and he knows Pete is in danger while Kinn and Porsche are inexplicably dumb as hell for not suspecting Pete was in danger. When Pete reappears and Tankhun literally thinks he's a zombie, he still rushes to embrace him even so, just because he loves him.

Also, Tankhun is, much like Pete and Chay, fairly pure of heart. I don't mean that in a naive way, but it's clear Tankhun is somewhat childlike because of his trauma... yet, he's still the one who adopts fish and gives them names like Elizabeth and Sebastian and mourns them. He loves his siblings, and he welcomes Chay like a new brother.

The Little Mermaid reenactment with Porsche was A Lot, but also hilarious and fitting. See, he's childish, so of course he's going to like fairy tales. He knows the world isn't one, but he still enjoys ones and wants stories where the good ones don't die, and he does his best to live a fairy tale despite everything. I really think the series should have dug into this more, especially since Kinn and Porsche and especially Vegas and Pete are very clearly modeled after Beauty and the Beast. Sigh. The potential.

Not gonna lie, I think the brother relationships were somewhat failed all throughout. Macau and Vegas's bond wasn't fully explored either, and neither was Porsche and Chay's. Like, Porsche doesn't even know about Kim and Chay, and Chay had told him about being tutored by Wik, so... wouldn't he at least ask? Sigh.

Korn

So, ironically, the brotherly relationship best fleshed out is... Korn and Gun's.

Theirs is highly tragic, and the relationship they have with their foster sister is also clearly a warning to Kim, Kinn, and Tankhun about what they could become if they prioritize the power of the mafia family over each other and their own rights to make their choices and live and love. It seems like that won't happen, given Kim and Chay and Porsche as the minor family head and Kinn, fortunately, but again I think this could have been more clearly explored.

Like, if love, both romantic and platonic and familial, offers a way forward, a potential answer (though no guarantee, see Tawan), which I think the show suggested, it should have been more heavy-handed in showing us. This also actually ties into the fairy tale motif, and the human being theme, and choice, and it just could have been so much more neatly braided together than it was. And also it works with the trust motif, because you can't control someone you trust.

I do really appreciate the ambiguity about Korn, and the uneasy lack of answers about what really happened between Korn, Gun, and Namphueng. On the one hand, Gun's utter cruelty to Vegas and Macau makes it seem more than plausible that he's the worst and he did assault Namphueng and kill her husband. On the other hand, seeing Korn murder Namphueng's husband would surely explain the vitriol he has towards Korn that seems unusually intense even for someone consumed with envy and jealousy.

I think it's clever that the series doesn't answer it for us. Even when Korn kills Gun in the end but chooses to tell his guards not to harm Vegas, despite the fact that Vegas just killed a bunch of his most loyal men, and promises to protect Vegas and Macau, we're left wondering. Is this proof that Korn is indeed the merciful man who would never have harmed Namphueng and her husband? Or is it the actions of a cruel man who killed his own brother and then told his kids not to worry because he'd provide for them, just like he did with Posrche and Chay?

Alas, what would have made this even more powerful would be an emphasis on what trust is supposed to mean... sigh.

Final Thoughts

Overall, I really enjoyed the show. I loved the characters and the three main ships. It had great ideas that could have been better explored.

Also of note: from its lighting to staging of certain scenes, it also clearly took inspiration from Queer as Folk, which is one of my favorite stories ever, and there were some potential Crime and Punishment references in Pete talking to Vegas in a scene that mimicked Sonia and Raskolnikov.

Basically, it was designed for me to fall for it, and fall for it I did. I just wish it had been refined, because it could have also been a masterpiece in addition to being entertaining (yes, really), but alas, didn't quite get there. Still, I'd definitely recommend it.