#idk.... I don't like the other side of their face but can't seem to fix it 😞

[minacht]

looks at you like 🤨

[eyesthatroll]

NEVER HAVE I EVER / CHAPTER 01

next chapter

pairing: luke hughes x fem!reader

summary: two college kids trapped in a bathroom

warning(s): underage drinking, idk

word count: 0.8k

author's note: this takes place when our boy is in college, obviously. hope you enjoy!

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as you finally reach the bathroom. The volume of the music and the chatter from the party fades significantly in this quieter sanctuary, offering a moment of respite from the overwhelming atmosphere. It's in this tranquil moment that your mind fills with regrets about your decision to attend this party.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you take a moment to adjust your strapless top, which had fallen a bit lower than you'd prefer. Despite feeling like both a physical and emotional wreck, you take solace in the fact that at least you don't look as bad as you feel.

"You're not allowed up here," a stern voice echoes from beside you.

Startled, you jump back, your heart racing, with uncontrolled, heavy breaths escaping your trembling lips. With a mix of fear and curiosity, you cautiously pull back the shower curtain, and your eyes widen in disbelief. There, in the bathtub, lies Luke Hughes, a prominent player from the hockey team, nonchalantly sipping from a bottle of tequila.

"What the heck?" you blurt out, your mind reeling as you struggle to make sense of the bizarre situation unfolding before you.

He casually shrugs, taking another leisurely sip from the tall bottle. He extends it towards you dismissively. "Want some?"

You shake your head, an air of confusion still swirling around you. It perplexed you why he was up here, drinking alone, especially after his team had just won tonight's game by six goals, and he had earned four points.

He chuckles, his gaze shifting from you to the space in front of him. "Figures."

You scoff, bristling at the implication in his words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, I knew you wouldn't drink, because you're a good girl," he says, a slight smirk playing on his lips. By God, did you want to wipe it off.

"You don't know anything about me," you tell him, your head tilting slightly to the side, as if trying to get a better read on him. You try not to feel offended by being called a good girl, but his tone implies something else, and that annoyance simmers within you. You knew there was nothing wrong with being a good girl, but he made it sound as if there was, and that grated on your nerves instantly.

"Your name is Y/N Y/L/N. You're majoring in sports psychology, and you love hockey. You used to play volleyball here before you tore your rotator cuff. You used to date that asshole from PHI KAI before he cheated on you with your best friend Anna. Your favorite movie is The Big Short, and you almost never leave the house without your camera."

Your mouth falls agape, and you're left momentarily speechless. Your mind struggles to comprehend how he even knows your name, let alone all that personal information about you. Sure, you attended a lot of hockey games, and you might have passed him between classes, but you've never engaged in conversation before today, and yet, he's just recited personal details about your life with unnerving accuracy.

"It doesn't matter, I'm leaving anyways. Have a good night, Luke," you mutter, your hand wrapping around the door handle. You twist it, but the handle refuses to budge. Frustration building, you bring up your other hand, using both in a hurried attempt to twist and pull at the handle, yet the door remains stubbornly locked in place.

"Luke, I can't open the door," you inform him, your hands still struggling with the doorknob.

You pivot to face him, noticing that he's reclined in the tub, his eyes now shut. "Yeah, it does that," he comments, the tone of his voice making it seem like this happens often.

You shoot him an incredulous look. "Well, can you fix it?"

He clears his throat. "Yeah, you can," you let out a sigh of relief, but it's short-lived. "From the outside."

You let go of the handle, stumbling backwards slightly as you assess the current situation you're in. Your back meets the sink counter, and you wince at the pain but choose to ignore it for the moment. "Can you call someone?"

He lets out a heedless laugh, finally opening his eyes just to raise his brows at you. "My phone is downstairs."

"My phone is dead!" You exclaim, pulling your phone out of your back pocket and waving the device around, but nothing but a black screen appears.

Luke shrugs again, an easy-going smile playing on his lips. "Looks like we're trapped."

[lvlyghost]

I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS SO MUCH 😩❤️😍 the way you characterize ghost is so good I can't 😭❤️ I wanted to ask if you could maybe write something for me since your writing style is sooo good frfr

How about ghost and reader have an argument that was started by ghost and he goes a bit too far breaking the reader and making them cry and be just a shell of themselves how would he feel when he sees the readers state and how would he fix it with a happy end please

Broken Wings

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: After a night out, things seem to take a turn in your relationship with Ghost.

Word Count: 2.1k

Tw: angst, hurt/comfort, self doubt, jealousy, probably ooc!simon, curse words. lots of grammar mistakes, poorly edited you know the drill🐝

A/N: i loved this request sooo much, though i did have a lot of trouble when writing it since i wasn't feeling too inspired. also had two different stories but ended up deciding to post this one i might post the other one idk, hope you like this anon! I did try my best🫶🏻🤍🩷✨corrections are appreciated; remember english isn't my native language 🐸

Masterlist✨

"I like you." You said with big bright eyes.

"But no one can know about this. Just you and I. That's enough." He answered, hand tracing the side of your face.

You blink rapidly. You have always been daydreamer. It caused you tons of problems although you tried to do your best when you were out on missions. Ghost is walking ahead of you, boots sinking in the sand beneath your feet. The waves crashing on the shore is something you like listening to and seeing too but under different circumstances. Both of your gear clink with every step you take, it's the only sound as well as the sea that swallows the tense silence that falls between the two.

Things have been rather... strange since two days ago and you've tried to talk to him about it. It wasn't weird for Ghost to push you back every now and then, he was a complicated person and you couldn't be more different from one another.

You were the sun and he was the darkness that came at night or so he had said one night at the common room back at the compound. He was stoic, grumpy and hardly found himself enjoying somebody's company. You on the other hand, even though you wouldn't consider yourself the most outgoing person like Johnny, still you liked talking unlike him. You loved going out with the task force. And most importantly you loved when Ghost joined because you loved him, you loved having him around, despite his gruff responses or annoyed looks.

You jog though your legs shake and tiredness sets in your body.

"How much farther until we get there?" You ask, ignoring the fact that his frame goes rigid when you speak . He doesn't acknowledge you at first. All you hear is a small sigh leaving his lips. You kind of wish he wasn't wearing the damn sunglasses so you could see his eyes.

They always said a lot.

"Thirty minutes. Give or take." The answer is short and cold, breaking your heart a little more than before. Still, you decide to try again.

"Sir, is something bothering you?" Before he can stop it he scoffs, shaking his head. "What?" Brows furrowing on your features. "Simon..."

He stops all of the sudden, turning to face you with a tense stance.

"First of all don't bloody use my name out here. Secondly it's your own fault we've been walking for hours. So don't go asking if something's bothering me, Sergeant."

Taking a step back you open your mouth.

"My fault? I was doing my job!"

"Didn't know your job was to get your fucking head blown off!!" He seethes. "Fucking hell you can't be this reckless and expect me to clap at your poor acting on the field." Your heart begins to race, he had never said such things to you. Taking a small step back your grit your teeth, you hated that his words were making your eyes blurry. This was the Simon you never wanted to see. And yet there he was. "Now we lost the damn intel thanks to you." He spits. But something isn't adding up.

"It's not just that. You've been acting strange for a few days now, Ghost. Don't come and tell me it's just because I did what I was supposed to do!" He stiffs yet again. Jaw clenching so hard you fear he might break it. "Not missing the way you avoid me ever since..." you close your mouth shut. "The pub..." he shifts his weight from one foot to another. The waves are increasing and now reach your feet, dampening your boots. And then you remember him storming off the local pub before he even finished his own drink. Everyone had heard the hard slap to John's arm when he had tried to calm him down. God why didn't you pay more attention to that moment? Because you both had agreed to keep your distances? And going after him was out of discussion? Then the next day you'd barely seen him, just for a short moment during debriefs and that was it. The moment you had gotten up from your seat he was gone. And today you were supposed to go to a special op that had soon become a problem that eventually led to the two of you in the middle of a beach, it was a cloudy day and if it weren't for the heavy layers you wore you're certain you'd be shaking. Sometimes –and you were ashamed of it– you were oblivious to many things and it seemed that Ghost's anger toward you was one of them this time. "What happened?"

He inhales deeply.

"It's over. That's what happened."

Your heart sinks and you swallow hard. Your whole body loses color when he mutters those two words. Out of all the things, all the possibilities you thought he'd say to you, he decided to end everything. Shaking your head you try to touch his hand but he doesn't let you.

"Ghost where is all of this coming from I don't understand!" You choke out. "We were fine..."

"No. You were fine. If I wasn't enough you should've just said so."

"Stop... you... what the hell are you talking about???"

"Nothing that matters anymore. Keep walking and don't say another word. That's an order."

He turns and keeps walking as if nothing just happened. As if he didn't just completely broke your heart.

'You were fine'.

What was that supposed to mean? You think, walking a few meters behind him, scared to even say anything else; to even try to grab him by the arm and force him to talk. It would only make things worse right now.

By the time you reach the safe house it's started to rain the silence between the two is deafening and tense. Ghost's cold demeanor and hurtful words have left a scar. Never in a million years would you think you'd be here, with a broken, shattered heart and no explanation from his part.

Words that pierced through your soul.

That day something died inside you. And he was the reason.

-

Two weeks, three days and seven hours.

That's the time that's passed since that day at the beach. Two weeks since Simon broke you and gave you no reasons.

You're a disaster.

You barely eat or get any sleep. There's dark circles under your eyes and you're sure you've lost some weight too. Ghost has been gone on a mission alone with Johnny for a week now, which left you with a lot of spare time to think about the two of you.

More tears stream down your face when you remember that day. Had you missed something important? Was Ghost's mind somewhere dark? Somewhere it shouldn't be? God knows he was... difficult to say the least. But every single time you tried, tried to be there for him. Did those late nights at your home meant nothing? Had he not seen the way you looked at him? Had you not shown him enough of your affection? Everything you'd do for him if he simply asked?

Getting up from your bed you get ready for another day. Not bothering to lace your boots just shoving them inside your shoes you walk down the hallways until you get to the training room. Gaz is talking to John in the far corner, the Captain's arms are crossed over his chest while Kyle frowns and shakes his head. You don't to even go and salute them as you normally would do, instead you put your earphones on and hit the treadmill.

It doesn't last long though; after one minute someone stops it by pressing down the off button. Your brows knitted together as you stop, turning to look up at Gaz who smiles politely.

"Sorry for that, sweetheart. You okay?" You nod, but say nothing more. "Come here." He pats your shoulder and helps you down from the treadmill. If you could smile now you would. But no even the faintest, softest grin leaves your lips. Gaz takes a quick glimpse at your face and rubs the back of his neck. "You know, Soap and Ghost just got back. Heard Lt. was asking about you."

"Oh." You murmur. "Okay." You don't move nor dare to meet his eyes. "I'll just head back to my room."

"Uhmm. I- what I meant is he's looking for you..." Shaking your head you walk away, not having the energy to face Simon right now. And why did he need to see you? Made pretty clear that you two were done, therefore was no need to see each other unless it was work related.

-

"You really do like it here don't you." Your body goes rigid. This was supposed to be your safe place. The roof of the armory was rarely visited by anyone at this hour. Simon's voice seems softer than ever before but you don't answer. Not even turn to acknowledge him. You hear muttered words and then he crouches down to your level. "Price said you're not eating. Do we have to send you to the military counselor now?" How dare he? After all he caused this. You know he doesn't mean it in bad way, somehow he cares for you deep down. Your hands ball into fists, fighting the urge to snap at him, to push him down and just break him the way he broke you. But you don't because you still love him, and could never bring yourself to hurt him. Simon is staring intently at you, waiting, hoping for any sign. He knows he shouldn't be here. Bloody hell he knows you shouldn't even look his way never again. He deserves it. Every bit of it. "Talk to me, love. Please." It's a low whisper. A plea.

"What do you want Ghost?" You ask softly. Simon leans closer, sitting down with his legs propped up against his chest and arms resting on his knees. It's a funny look for someone his size.

"Jus' wanted to see you." You scoff playing with your hands, refusing to lock eyes with him because if you did you'd be done. "Wanted to explain..."

"Then just do it!" You sob. Your lower lip trembles. "And then leave."

"Fine." He agrees. "But I'm not leaving. I- I made a mistake, and took it out on you okay? I was scared."

"Scared?" Your head snaps to where he is sitting. It's painful just to look at him. "Why would you be scared Ghost?" You retaliate

He grumbles, never fancied when you called him that when you were alone. Quite the contradiction given the fact that he told you not to call him his name that day at the beach.

"Because I saw you." He points out. "That night. Everything you're missing for being with someone like me. Can't even show proper affection because it's not me... and you deserve more than that. More than me."

"Ghost..."

"No. Lemme finish, love." He swallows. It's always amusing how controlled he seems. "I lost it, yeah? You looked so happy. How on earth do I deserve you, on what universe do I deserve ya'?"

Sucking in a sharp breath you recall the moments that preceded the events. The sound of music blasting through the speakers, when you joined the rest of the soldiers on the other side of the pub. Private Miller had slung his arm over your shoulders in a friendly manner. You laughed and drank too much that night, it was joyful. Everyone was there, your team. You never thought he felt that way about it.

"Oh my... Simon." You cover your mouth and cry silently. He hesitated for a moment before pulling you close and into his lap. "Should've known something was wrong. Forgive me... I should've stayed with you, follow you after you left." You cry out.

You were scared too, for very different reasons. That he'd get tired of you eventually, that if you weren't cautious enough your secret would be known. Both would get suspended thus separated and discharged.

"No, love. You shouldn't have to go running after me. I should be running after you. Now forgive me, say you will. Or else I might just lose myself for good." You cradle his face in your hands lifting the balaclava just above the bridge of his nose. Thumb tracing his lower lip. Your tears have dried.

"I've missed you so much, Simon. All you gotta do is talk to me, always." He tightens his grip around you. "You think Price would let us go home tonight and not ask questions?"

His chuckle is short and soft.

"Yeah. I think he's known for a while now."

[baldval]

More Husk please! I loved the one you did. My heart was like 😚❤️‍🔥

It's common knowledge that some cats don't like water. Mine actually does though, haha 😆

So maybe somehow Husk got wet and is all grumpy because of it. (Maybe Niffty set something on fire and caused the sprinklers to go off, idk) so reader helps dry him off and is being all soft and sweet and he can't keep his feelings to himself anymore?

Ughhh I love this purrfect man so much ♡

DANG!₊˚⊹♡

characters: husk x gn!reader

wc: 861

warnings: cursing, making out

a/n: idk if i like this but here it is

"For fuck's sake." Husk was mad. Very mad.

You had decided to bake something for the group, some simple chocolate chip cookies. You were following a recipe you had found online, and everything was going great, until you confused Farenheit with Celsius. That lead to, not only the cookies being burnt, but the smoke also activated the sprinkles in the kitchen.

Coincidentally, Husk had just entered the kitchen to look for a snack.

So now Husk is wet, and he hates being wet.

You felt terribly sorry, apologising a million times as Husk kept telling you it was okay, but you could tell he was angry, even if he tried to hide it to not hurt your feelings.

So you offered to help him dry up, taking him to the bathroom and caressing his body with a towel. However, his fur seemed to be hyper-absorbant since that didn't really seem to help and Husk kept being annoyed at his current state.

He closed his eyes and sighed, your fingers lifted his chin up so you could start using the towel to dry up his face. He groaned.

"Sorry" you mumbled "I'm almost done."

His eyelids opened slowly, finding you close to him, his dark eyes fixed on yours, you noticed he started studying your face, growing ashamed of the fact you were ashamed.

"Really though, it's okay" You looked away from him as he spoke. "I really don't mind."

"Except you do." You took a step back, away from him, unaware of the fact Husk wanted you to be closer not further. "I can feel it."

"I mean- yes I was a bit annoyed..." you turned your gaze towards the floor, when he realised this, he held your chin, forcing you to look at him. "but, it's okay. It will be a funny story." You smiled at him and he chuckled. "How do you even confuse Farenheit with Celsius?" You laughed. "I really don't know. I guess I never bake." "I'll have to teach you then."

"Oh, I would love that."

A silence filled the room, yet not uncomfortable. The towel was now laying on a table while you both stared at eachother, smiling.

Husk's eyes moved towards your lips, it seemed as if he was almost analysing them.

You noticed this. "Do you like my lips or why are you staring?" You teased, he immediately stopped staring and you could see how his cheeks where gradually getting redder. "I'm joking, don't worry." "Yes." You looked at him confused. "I do like them." It was your turn to blush as he got up and closer to you, a finger of his over your lip. "They're quite pretty." Your body went stiff, realising what was going on: dim lighting, silence, being the closest to one another you had ever been.

Oh, and also, Husk had just confessed he liked your lips, whatever that meant.

Dark eyes wandered over your mouth, following his thumb as it now slid to the other side. Hesitantly, he moved even closer until his lips hovered over yours. The anticipation that filled the room made sure to cut off both your breathing and his. But then, Husk closed the distance between your mouths, hidden feelings bursting out into the open. Husk’s kiss was soft, and you made sure to reciprocate slowly, easing into the unknown sensation of kissing him.

When the kiss stopped he remained still. Your shaky hands slid up his torso, fingertips grasping his fur to keep him in place for as long as the sweet burning sensation sat on your guts. You weren't sure of what came over yourself, maybe it was the curiosity of having him as more than a friend. Maybe it was the thoughts that had constantly whispered at the back of your head how attractive you thought he was, the thoughts you had made sure to ignore and so you never acted on them. Maybe it was the thrill of crumbling his aloof and distant demeanor in between your hands.

Maybe it had been all of those things together, but you slightly and eagerly nudged your nose against his. And so he kissed you again, with a deep sigh of surrender and his hands roaming up your thighs. The sounds of kissing filled the kitchen, your tongue sliding across his tongue, his hungry mouth now fighting against your, your hands moving towards his neck. His fingers squeezed your skin, a breathy exhale left your throat almost becoming a soft whine.

“What…” the cat-like bartender tried to form a coherent sentence, but it seemed like his brain for once wasn’t cooperating.

“I…” you cleared your throat, blinking a couple of times “I don’t know.”

He swallowed, trying to find words once again.

“Listen, I…”

“It’s okay” nervously you tightened your grip on the back of his neck, now anxious of letting him go “we don’t have to talk about this today or tomorrow. We can just… forget it happened.”

“We can just let it be… for tonight.”

“Yeah” you pulled him close again, his body relaxed as he followed your movement and searched for your lips once more.

“Yeah, just for tonight…”

[cinhomi]

Hear me out like dilf!Felix agenda or Minho as your teacher IDK-. My friend recently told me about the move Miller’s girl coming out soon and I’ve been thinking about just Minho as your teacher lmao.IDK HE WOULD BE SUCH A STONIC DUDE BUT LIKE WHILE YOU GUYS ARE ALONE HE WOULD BE JSJSJSJS

(May I be 🎀 anon jsjsjsj)

DILF FELIX ����‍💫 TEACHER MINHO 😵‍💫 I want to caress your face and boop your nose. HOW CAN I FIT BOTH IN ONE ASK THAT WOULD BE 5K WORDSー I'll focus on teacher Minho but PLEASE come back with dilf Felix BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT HIM TOO OMG

teacher Lee Minho who is known to be this scary, strict man that has all kinds of stories about him being told from student to student in the corridors since he's very reservate and mysterious. he dresses formally, with cool and natural toned dress shirts, vests, ties and blazers. his pants always hug his tighs a little bit too tight when he rests on the border of his desk.

teacher... call him professor. professor Lee. he checks his expensive gold watch from time to time, and accurately displays his book, agenda and pen in a precise order. most students don't know they end up on the floor when he clears the surface for you to sit - or lay - on the polished wooden surface. he likes to be tidy and on time... so when he starts to be late to put down some papers in the teachers' room, or when he has to meet a colleague with his hair disheveled and his tie loose, well, it's only natural to be suspicious. but he's a serious man. he must have some trouble in his life... some trouble that he enjoys a bit too much.

professor Lee Minho who tilts his head to the side the first time he sees you, a puzzled expression on his face because he doesn't understand how someone so gorgeous, sweet and beautiful like you could exist. he doesn't realize it, but now when he's having a lesson in your class it seems like he's explaining things only to you, his gaze fixed on your shiny eyes that look directly into his, on your tempting lips, it drops a bit lower where he can see your naked legs cross under a flimsy skirt. he often comes close to your desk and looks carefully at your calligraphy, or to be precise, at your fingers holding the pen. he slowly starts wondering how'd they look wrapped around him.

he's known for being the most observant and smart professor of the institute so you can't really fool him, it's so obvious your cute little panties get wet when he smiles whenever you know the answer to one of his tricky questions, when he rests a hand on the smaller of your back when he has to pass beside you in the corridors, when he praises you for doing so good on his subject. everyone is starting to think he's got a preference... and it's so damn true. he doesn't alter your score, it really is admirable, your talent on his subject, but you're the only one he's never scolded or insulted somehow.

you're his perfect pupil, he holds you on the palm of his hand. it's not the first time he has students trying to fall into his favour, seduce him, but you... you don't do it on purpose, he has enough experience to know that. yes, you may stay up late to have the best score with him and him only, but you are so natural and obvious with your feelings, it's adorable.

he wants you all to himself.

professor Lee Minho who, after few months of seeing each other almost everyday, asks you if you want to stay a bit more after your classes so he can give you private lessons to go a bit more in depth with whatever topic you're studying at the moment. at first it really is like this, him sitting on his comfy, soft chair and you beside him on the chipped and hard one, swallowing your whimpers whenever your knees touch. oh you're so cute. you take coffees together, he brings you nice treats from the café he goes to every morning, after two weeks he promises to eat you out if all of your answers are correct. but don't worry, before making such promise he wooed you respectfully, with manners, like a true gentleman. before unbottoning your delicate shirt to fondle with your breasts to help you concentrate he did flirt with you to the point you had to get up and splash your face with cold water.

he loves it when you call him "Mr. Lee" in public, but when he locks the classroom he becomes "Min" or sometimes "Sir", or, other times, "Master". he even goes through the trouble of taking you to his place sometimes. Minho is a good cook, but you never eat much in those occasions.

he loves it when before starting the day you subtly give him your lacy panties and he has to sneak them in the pocket of his blazer. he can't help that mischievolous smirk from forming on his lips, knowing your perfect pussy is bare and ready for him if he wants to. and nothing will stop him from avidly taking the soft fabric to inhale your scent while palming his growing bulge everytime he's alone.

Mr. Lee also loves when he's correcting his students' works and you study while sitting on his lap, his lenght buried deep inside you. he likes to pat your head when you do a good job, but he also makes you choke on his cock if what you did doesn't please him at all.

professor Lee Minho that notices you scoff and sigh and pout when another student flirts with him, so when you two meet later he makes sure to fuck you like the good girl you are for him. he treats you so well, how can you be jealous? it's so, so obvious he's obsessed with you.

I see prof. Lee making you bend down his desk, his grip tight on your hips, under your skirt that jumps back and foward from his slow but powerful thrusts and your panties moved to the side. he's bending over your back, with his breath fanning on your neck, his lovely praises going straight to your throbbing core. I see prof. Lee making you sit on his pompous chair as he kneels for you and spreads your legs to dive his head in between them. I see prof. Minho using a ruler to tease your clit and your asscheeks. I see prof. Minho rolling his eyes in pure bliss as you ride him in the bathroom.

mmh... he eventually admits to himself that he fell for his student and has to switch schools to be able to take you out on week-end dates <3

I will write more about.

[wooeo]

i forgot to put the tiktok link on my last ask incase you didn’t see the video of kai, so here it is: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREak1wH/

also i’ve been trying to write some thoughts about sunoo and wonie since they’re my biases but damn it’s so much harder to write for them, for some reason lmao. same with hoon, jake, and hee. the easiest to write for are ni-ki and jay <3 idk why tho

here are some hcs that i did come up with after spending so long on them:

• yk how there’s duo brand partners? ex: heejay, jakehoon, wonki. enha girlie in a duo brand deal with sunoo!!!!!!!!!

• (name) rejecting all solo brand deals until one with sunoo was sent <3

• whenever (name) & sun are next to each other, they’re never not interlocking their arms & chatting in their own world

• jungwon and girlie going on late night walks together and one day finding a secret spot to chill

• that one spot is now their special hiding place, that not even the other members know about. they do hear about it tho and are like “wtf why aren’t we allowed to know?”

• won: “i asked if any of you would like to come take a walk with me but you said no soooooo :/ “ losers weepers ig

• i saw a video of cha eunwoo brushing off an eyelash that was on somi’s cheek. i think that’s so sunghoon and heeseung coded!!!

• they would turn to face (name), turn back but then do a double take and brush off a stray eyelash off for her

• or fix them if one seemed about to droop down and poke girlie’s eye

• i feel like jake would do something similar too but like with fixing (name)’s clothes instead? or brushing her off after they had to sit on ground for an en o’clock ep

• like patting off imagery dirt or actual dirt if they were outside. idk how explain it properly, so i hope yk what i mean 😔

• whenever girlie is accidentally in the way of something or someone, jake pulls her to his chest and says something like “careful, love” in english

link to eunwoo and somi clip: https://youtu.be/5Qh0zLfUxhw?si=1mJPG61HbbFDY4rN

timestamp: 1:55. the video randomly popped up on my recs after watching astro trying to catch a bug lmfao

- 🔮

🔮 anon.... your mind.... its so big and juicy....

i hadn't seen the video of kai so thank u for that 😭 in front of all those fine ass women 😭😭 i won't touch on everything you said 😋

i don't think you'd reject all form solo brand deals, don't think h*be would let you tbh — they're taking any and all chances to capitalize off of you. but !! you're so much happier when you're doing a brand deal with sunoo! also your face cards side by side ?? crazy. absolutely decked out in gorgeous jewelry and clothing lord,,,, you and sunoo is an insane iconic visual duo like,, we all croed 💔

the hiding spot with jungwon is so cute omg ,, imagine its like a small back alley cafe where theres next to no one so its all quiet and you sit and walk for hours 😭💔 turning off your location so the other boys can't track you and interrupt lmfao. like you love your boys but they're so loud all the time and its nice talking to jungwon, praising him for his hard work and him being flustered and praising you in return 😭😭

heeseung and sunghoon take care of you in quiet ways,, fixing your hair, your clothes, if you have a stray eyelash *sniffle sniffle* they're so careful and never say anything about it, they just do it quietly and move on *sniffle* and jake *sniffle* "careful now," what if i die

[amazingmsme]

Death Wish

AN: got fans come get your dinner! Here’s the Brienne x Jamie fic as promised! Idk how y’all survived this long without fluffy fics, this fandom is living off CRUMBS! But I wrote Jamie & Brienne flirting & teasing each other to fix it. Enjoy day 13!

Brienne would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't excited to see Jamie again. In their time together, he had really grown on her, as much as she tried to fight or deny the fact. The man had a decent wit to carry on an interesting conversation, and a dry sense of humor that always seemed to leave a smirk on her face.

But apparently, that wasn't good enough for Jamie Lannister.

They were alone in his room, or rather, his guest room, sharing a couple glasses of wine and nibbling on some cheese he'd brought with him from the south. He had just finished a joke, and when he didn't get the expected reaction, he couldn't help but pout, even if it was slightly for show.

"Am I just not funny to you?" he asked outright, when she merely huffed in amusement at his joke. She furrowed her brows in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she cocked her head to the side curiously.

"You never laugh at anything I say; well, you have, but more at my expense," he clarified, making her pause for thought. He had really been trying to amuse her all this time... She bit back a fond smile.

"If you're concerned I don't find you amusing, you can put your fears to rest," she assured. Jamie sat up a little straighter, leaning across the table.

"So you do like my jokes?" he pressed further, flashing a drunken, but no less charming, grin.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Yes, alright? Is that what you want to hear?" she caved easily.

"Then would it kill you to just laugh at them every once in a while? I'll even take a chuckle," he bargained.

""You're ridiculous."

"And you act as though humor will be the thing that does you in."

The glare she sent his way shut him up. "I'm simply not as," she paused in thought, "Forthcoming, with my amusement."

He blew her off, tossing his head back in annoyance as he waved a hand. "Excuses, excuses."

"Why do you even care?" she asked incredulously. This wasn't even important, and there were certainly better topics of discussion to focus on. She wasn't used to being the center of attention.

"Curiosity, I suppose," he shrugged. "I've never heard you laugh," he said, sounding surprisingly genuine. He was leaning against the table, chin propped up in his hands as he stared at her with big, green eyes. She quickly adverted her own gaze.

"It's nothing special," she insisted.

"Maybe, but I want to see for myself."

She wasn't expecting it. Honestly, it was the last thing she was expecting, and as such, she had lowered her guard. But his hand snuck under the table, giving her knee a few rapid squeezes, and she froze with a choked off gasp, leg jerking up and banging the table. Their plates clattered and tankards sloshed as she tried to will away the blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I knew it! I mean, I was hopeful, but I knew you just had to be ticklish!" he bragged, despite the fact that the only hand he had left was currently held in a vice grip. The bewildered look on her face was worth it.

"What are you talking about?" she hissed, looking him up and down as though he'd gone mad.

"Well if I can't get you to laugh the traditional way, this'll just have to do!"

"No, Jamie, I swear-" she cut herself off with a bark of laughter when he wiggled free from her grasp and immediately went back to tickling her knees. As hard as she tried, she couldn't contain her mirth, only getting louder as he continued.

"So knees are a good spot. Makes sense, you're all legs," he teased, spidering over her kneecap. She shrieked and doubled over, fist hitting the table as she tried to chase his hand away.

Finally, she caught him.

"Do you hahave a death wish?" she asked, panting as she caught her breath.

Jamie never looked so smug.

"Do you really have to ask?" he cocked his head, arching a brow playfully.

"Alright then. Your turn."

Suddenly, he changed his tune.

"Wait no, we can tahahalk about thihihis!" But it was already too late for that.

"What's there to talk about? I warned you, but you didn't listen," she pointed out. Her hands dug into his sides, and he immediately burst into shrill giggles.

"Thahat was barely ahaha warnIIIIING! Nohoho plehehease, not thehere!”

"I mean, honestly, you're lucky I didn't just take the other hand," she taunted, though she tried to appear annoyed.

"Ihif you dihihid, I'd tehehell everyone about how I- nohoho wahahait!" he cut himself off with bright, cheerful laughter as her hands lowered to knead his hips. He twisted and bucked as he tried in vein to stop her, but he didn't exactly mind the situation he found himself in.

Still, he needed to breathe.

"Ohohokay, I'm sorry, Ihi'm sohohorry!" he pleaded, grateful when he was given a break.

"Yeah?" she questioned, and he nodded frantically, sporting a giddy smile. "You sure?" More nodding. "I don't believe you."

"But- Brienne nohoho! Plehehease!"

"I should've done this ages ago! You would've been so much easier to deal with if I knew this was all it took to take down the dreaded Kingslayer." It was rare for her to show emotion, even more so if those feelings stemmed from affection. Yet here she was, actually teasing him.

Surely that had to count for something.

Her fingers were long and slender, able to work their way into any ticklish spot they could find. Jamie tried to hold out, he really did. Because it was downright embarrassing how right she was; just a few fluttering touches and well placed squeezes, and he was already tapping out.

"You wihihin, YOU WIN!" he blurted when her hands rested on his thighs. She arched a brow, staring down at him quizzically, but a fond smile tugged at her lips.

"Oh really? What do I win?" she asked nonchalantly as he continued to unravel.

"A-ahahanythihihing!" he blurted out, and Brienne had to bite back a laugh of her own. He was truly desperate, wasn't he? He had to be, if he was begging like this.

"Anything?" she questioned, drilling her thumbs against his hipbones. He let out a high pitched shriek before tossing his head back.

"W-within reason!" he quickly stuttered out before cutting himself off with an embarrassing snort. His face flushed a dark pink and he shook his head weakly, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

"Well then, that's not anything now, is it?" she asked in an even tone, softly pinching her way up his sides, his ribs, slowly traveling higher and higher. Jamie was squirming more the higher she went, babbling pleas pouring from his mouth.

"B-Briehehehenne nohoho! P-plehehease, nohot thehehere! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!" he screamed when she reached her destination, pressing his arms down to his sides. This only served to trap her hands there, leaving him no other choice but to laugh. Joyful cackling filled the air, and she knew he only had one hand to fight back, but he wasn't even trying.

Wait, did he like this? Then, a worse thought: was she liking this?

The new revelation was sudden and alarming, and she needed to put an end to this stupid little game he had started. But not without taking his offer first.

"Alright, I'll let you go. But you owe me a favor. Any favor, any time I need it, no questions asked no matter what," she had to raise her voice slightly to be heard over his hysterics.

"OHOKAHAHAY! YEHEHES I'LL DO IHIT! SOUNDS GREHEHEAT!"

Okay, at this point she seriously doubted he was even listening, but he agreed, so she tugged her hands free. He giggled and jerked back when her fingers wiggled one last time as she pulled away.

"Do you even know what you agreed to?" she asked, not even bothering to hide her smirk as she watched him recover.

"Something about a favor," he shook his head, dazzling smile still firmly in place. He doubted it would be leaving any time soon.

"Good thing I was bluffing."

Wait, what did he just say?

Brienne looked at him with wide eyes, barely having a second to brace herself before getting body slammed out of her chair.

"You see," he started as he struggled to pin her arms beneath his legs while straddling her waist, "I always win tickle fights." Most of the time. "So I have a reputation to uphold."

"You lying bastard! Now let me go!" she growled, trying to squirm her way to freedom. He was heavier than she expected, and it wasn't so easy to just throw him off. Or so she told herself.

"No, I don't think so. I only found one tickle spot!"

"And that's all you need to find," she said, trying to sound threatening.

"So there's more?" he asked, resting his hand on her waist. She went completely stiff, lips pressed into a thin line.

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

And then he struck, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't contain the laughter that flooded out of her.

"Feel free to yield at any time," he taunted, and Brienne regretted letting him off so easy. No way would she tap out from just a little tickling, she refused. But depending on how ruthless he proved to be, she might not have a choice.

She'll just have to weigh her options when she's desperate enough.

[asfateentertwines]

idk if you like this ship, but Nocorro headcanons?

Hi sorry for the delay, I went on a Nocorro tail spin for this

Neteyam hides his feelings for Spider when they're young because he is worried about his moms feelings but has always been gentle with him and secretly enjoyed his company

They got along but just weren't overly close

Spider always was jealous of Neteyam for being everything he couldn't be - Na'vi, loved, strong, respected, etc. But always admired him just as much

Their relationship would start secret - on the downlow for the sake of their own anxieties - and would start due to their common denominator - Lo'ak

As his big brother and his best friend respectively, they always seemed to be the ones at the end of his messes. For Neteyam, it was cleaning them up or talking him out of it and for Spider, it was tagging along before inevitably just trying to keep them both alive

It's my thought that Lo'ak is the one that considers Spider's humanity the least and sees him the most as just Spider, even moreso than Kiri, and so he accidentally gets him hurt a fair amount - hence, Neteyam has to patch him up

This time is where they bond a lot - venting, mocking one another, but also eventually devolving into the fear, insecurity, etc they each feel

They would be the couple that goes through all of the 'new' stuff (i.e the awkward and honeymoon phases) by themselves while no one knows yet about their relationship so that by the time they get together publicly, everyone thinks of them as the old married couple of sorts

They equal one another out in a lot of ways and meet one another's insecurities - each is everything the other wants with the added consequences they didn't see coming

While it takes vulnerability that neither is prepared for, they come to be the same space for one another they each need and become a big part in one another's healing

They're both emotional protectors to the other as no one ever filled the roles for them and for once, they both get to be someone's priority

Its the story of the oldest son and forgotten child

They're two sides of the same beat up coin

Neteyam is protective and takes after his mom in being a guardian but is more reserved and takes social cues into account - he is aware of his mates vulnerability and protects in a lot like how his parents do - meanwhile, Spider is just fucking feral

It takes a long time to teach Spider that he can't just go in like he has nothing to lose - there's a lot of self-worth arguments

However, this comes to head with neither being sure where they stand to announce the relationship. I imagine it wouldn't come out until it had to

in canon, this is the RDA capturing Spider

The RDA taking Spider is what ends with their relationship becoming public

Neteyam has to see his parents as mortal and imperfect while Spider is faced with the doubts on his self-worth and position in the family

Neither knows how to proceed but they fight like hell with something more to fight for than the original canon offers

Neteyam loses it when Spider is taken, he goes feral, fighting with all of Neytiri's spirit, and relies heavily on his parents and the childish belief that they can somehow fix it

I don't think he would realize there's no fixing it until they're with the Metkayina and Ao'nung is courting him

He would lose it, acting more and more like Lo'ak while being lost in his own internal whirlpool of self-doubts and questioning

If war didn't make him grow up then this does

He doesn't think he'll get Spider back until he sees him on the deck but at this point, he's just blindly following Jake - he's unanchored and confused and it is still Lo'ak who ultimately is the reason Spider comes home

As for his fate, I think Spider would have been closer to him. Neteyam would have grabbed him on instinct and been ducking lower to guard the more vulnerable of the two and missed the shot

Them getting home is like recovering from a breakup though

Spider spent the months more convinced than ever that he is unwanted and left astray

But he is also more aware of the emotional manipulation and more at peace with his dynamic with the Sullys so Quaritch doesn't have as much success with him

Despite his doubts festering, it's a sort of resignation that the things they felt for him isn't enough - not that they don't exist

Neteyam would have given him hope that he is a part of the family and made him feel something worth cherishing

Then the RDA comes and it's the resignation that everything is over and he's not going home

He's a lot more grim here

But the upside is that Nocorro is a lot of healing

They're with the Metkayina and helping one another remember their value - Spider in the family and Neteyam as his own person

They both need to be reminded that they're worthy of loving and that's what the months following ATWOW is filled with

Consequently, it's also how the duo become legitimate threats to the RDA

The protective rage they both feel with what was taken from them means they're ruthless - they become a lot more empowered to protect their homes and focus on building some place safe for their family

Ultimately they are a very love and family driven couple with the other slowly becoming their other half, they operate like an extension of themselves with a level of understanding no one else would have

Post-war would take a long time for them to settle but I think they both have similar desires again in just having a loving, safe place for their family to grow and to heal together

Honestly this couple is just very soft and very old married couple, like think the gays from The Last of Us that die together bro

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

Wish you peace, always. Considering all, it been extra rough. My guardians were sick, and my fragile of a stability was about to break— but it okay now, and the pendulum of consciousness returned swaying in my head.

Somehow in the middle of everything, I was starting to feel okay and accept that this is the best it can get for this non verbal Mani. I honestly I stopped living as if there was tomorrow maybe the majority of 2023, zero drive or hopefulness, and lately started to accept that there's no denying that I'm not made to survive this life, and dropped all pretence that I'm able, set a 5 years counter. Because if mere looking at people's faces distress me so much that I blank out &/or go mute, since childhood, no amount of me forcing myself to watch videos/ pictures over and over can fix that. That's simply how I'm made and I know that now, and in a way it's bringing me peace.

Because I thought I'm bratting when I wore my headphones to cancel out noise that were literally going to drive me insane, or when I couldn't respond to messages knowing that I can articulate deeply in writing but ignoring all the endless times when I simply couldn't, and have forced myself to eat many things that set me days in nausea and abdominal pain while I only enjoy liquids more and get high off of fruits, I love them so much half my OCs are named after some.. and drew.. drew even before I spoke because it was my only outlit to express because how much I'm told I'm like a robot, I'm so expressionless and non reactive and disgustingly literal, even when they actively beat me black Nd blue to stop drawing, I couldn't.. where do you free those emotions when U can, i needed emotion displays and heartfelt trimmers, thrilling or killing, I needed to do them as if my life depended on it, and I haven't realised it back then, but my life was dependent on them, even when I had 'no talent ' , as I have always been told.

(commissioned by precious Julia ♥️🖤)

And besides drawing my needs, I actually, physically, started to feel better when I didn't do what my body said it literally can't do, all my life:

-Walked away from my guardians arguments, my chest stabbing pains became less frequent.

Stopped "practicing" my voice &/or facial expressions, I talk for 2 minutes, immediately my whole face muscles hurt, voice is cracking and gone, I don't feel like my eyebrows hurt as much. I'm okay being the monotone no expresso train c:

-stopped eating what I "don't like" (I mean it's not like I have much choice, but stopped feeling guilty over refusing it cuz food be tight) Nd now I can actually drink more water, and my tummy aches are on lower levels now

-i stopped dealing with Discord, or group chats in general cuz I don't expect accommodation over things I can't deal with. Stopped stressing over doing engaging material that no body seems to care about, cuz I'm not a good judge of demand, or stressing over either I should be thanking everyone who spams me with likes or not, (while I appreciate it to the moon) 90% of the time they don't respond Nd Im forced to think like I've done something wrong. I'm now at more ease with posting — (literally I have to fight the urges to delete my socials daily) just with interacting with who addresses me (I lov U guys sm) and I've been more relaxed from it.

I returned to "speaking in riddles" cuz if I don't use the words my brain spews no matter how weird they R, a tire will pop somewhere on the other side of an AU- idk lo'

-i rock, hum and laugh OUT my maniacal laugh, hard and strong, continued loving and talking to my plushies as I used to do, the easiest thing I could do to feel calmer again. As everyone should do

.. I stopped saying the word sorry. It's a naughty Mani era.

Accepting these facts and many, even with having no will to live had me saner than I ever been, at least I hope so.

I just know that I have a few to be grateful of: that I'm still here somehow, even with my dwindling income, Nd my internet not worth costing 120$± I'm always grateful for the sudden one or two commissions that keeps me here and buys me coffee and pumpkins seeds..

I still struggle horrindously with sleep. But I'm grateful at least I'm at pure ease playing games. Games been my go to media for knowing basically all based on books they were made about, like Severus and Tintin, I still play their ps1 games! Tho I got stuck on this game & their sleep has given me so much ease lo

I'm at my happy place rn, heh.

Bonus panel: ye they R hungry for that SHI- lo 🙈

And an honorary appearance of my OC with Tintin hehe

Stay safe, don't feed the overconsumption machine, don't give up on your heartstrings's stringers, don't worry— there are people who think and feel like you always between the crowds, and I'm thankful that I share the same timeline with you♥️🖤

Sweet dreams 🌃 19.2.2024

[glowingbadger]

idk if this will be too specific so feel free to mix and match as you like, but 2, 16, 37, and 38 for Axel?

AXEL MY SPECIAL MAN I love him so much, always thrilled to write for him lol. And y'know, I've had this concept in mind with him for a super long while that, after he gets his heart back, he might have a hard time fully dealing with how intense his feelings for Reader-chan are, and how different it makes the sexual side of things feel for him, so I'm gonna roll with that for this and apologies in advance if it gets a bit longer than some of the other kink prompt drabbles~~

(Side note I wasn't sure who you wanted on the giving/receiving end of any of this so... I guessed lmao. Also because this was a lot of kinks for one piece, I played a little fast and loose with them and some are represented more than others. I was just kinda winging it idk)

Anyway man I spent too much time struggling to find any time to write lately so like if I have to come back to this in a week to fix word repetition and type-os then... so fuckin be it I guess lol

Axel (Kingdom Hearts) x GN! Reader

Kink prompts list #2 - body worship, #16 - praise, #37 - massage, #38 - size difference

NSFW 18+

Axel kisses you differently these days. Like the moment he feels your lips on his, he's struck by something powerful and compelling. Like he can't quite control himself. With his heart returned to him at last, you've quickly discovered the novel and enthralling sensation of it pounding rapidly beneath your hands when they come to rest on his chest. But then- just as he has every time since your reunion -he stops. The warmth of Axel's touch leaves you, and he pulls away even as your hands subconsciously remain clenched around his black t-shirt. You blink your eyes back into focus. He glows in the early evening light where the two of you have settled on a large blanket along the shores of the Destiny Islands. The stunning turquoise of his eyes still seems to sparkle like the sea itself, even as he glances away from you and sighs.

"S- Sorry," he mutters, his head hanging, "We should, uh, probably get back to the others, yeah?"

Your brow furrows, and you pause to watch him at first. It's impossible to tell in the bleeding reds and oranges of the coming sunset, but it almost seems as though his face is flushed pink. You wonder- have you ever seen Axel blush before? It doesn't seem like him. But then, he hasn't had his heart for very long.

Just as he starts to pull away from you, you find your voice,

"Axel- wait," you gently tug him back towards you on the blanket, and he follows so that he's made to face you, "Is... is everything alright?"

"Huh? 'Course everything's..." he trails off as he meets your eye. His expression falls, and you can tell he sees the pained concern on your face. He sighs.

"Sorry, I uh... Ugh," he runs a hand through his hair, exasperated, "Don't look at me like that, c'mon. I'll spill, okay? It's just," his posture deflates, "it's pretty lame."

You shift closer to him, straightening the scrunched up blanket as you do so you can pretend you don't notice the way his body tenses beside you.

"You've just... been worrying me a bit lately, that's all. About how you're doing and, well, about us."

"Woah, woah, hey now!" Axel frantically takes your hand in his, holding it almost painfully tight near his chest, "Don't go thinking like that! Don't ever think that! It's my fault- I'm... not used to actually feeling all of this."

You frown a bit, then your brows raise as you gradually begin to understand. As you process, he elaborates,

"Before, when I 'felt' things, it was more like remembering, or thinking about feeling. Like... when someone tells you something really sad, and you feel bummed about it, but you weren't really there, right? It wasn't your sad thing that happened."

You get the feeling that, for him, this is a frustratingly inadequate metaphor. Still, you understand well enough, so you nod.

"I got used to that," he says, his eyes low before raising them to gaze at you with a sincerity that makes your chest ache, "But now, it's different- I feel everything. I feel it so much- an-and, being around you, it... drives me absolutely nuts. My heart," he releases your hand and places his at his chest, "It just goes wild when I touch you, sometimes it's like it's about to go up in flames."

You look at him warmly, leaning close.

"Well, if anyone could handle that, it'd be you."

He gives a short laugh through his nose, and his gaze softens.

"Guess so. Anyway," he sighs, "it's super lame, so... I didn't wanna bother you with this. But I kinda blew it, huh."

"It's not lame, Axel," you say with a grin, "Honestly I probably should have thought of that before now- I'm sorry I didn't. It must be really overwhelming to be feeling so many things for the first time in so many years. You were just a kid when you lost your heart."

"Guess that's fair..." his body finally relaxes a bit, but after a pause, he adds, "Still, I feel like a jerk though. It's not that I don't wanna be near you, or... touch you and all of that," there's a heat in his expression as he speaks, raising a hand to tentatively graze his fingers down your jawline, "Man, I really, really do."

"Then... maybe you just need to ease back into it?" you lean into the feeling of his hand at your cheek, offering what you hope is a reassuring smile. He looks at you, confused but intrigued, and you say,

"Like, maybe you could just, you know, practice touching me. Take it slow, don't rush, and, well... touch me as much as you want."

The crimson of his face rivals his hair, and his voice scratches just slightly in his throat,

"Wha- like, like a massage?" he gives a short laugh, "I mean, I'll try, but I've never-"

"Sure, like a massage," you smile, and immediately begin undressing to only the bathing suite you'd thrown on beneath your clothes. He's seen your body before, back in his Nobody days- many times, and every inch. Now, you see his chest slowly rise and fall as he breathes deeply, watching you with something like awe in those bright teal eyes. A part of you dearly wishes you could fully understand how it feels for him. How world-shaking it would be to live without true emotions of your own, to somehow come close to love in that state, and then to one day regain those feelings and be confronted with the full intensity of it all. You wonder if he'll ever fully adjust; he lived without a heart for a decade, after all. But, at least for now, he seems very interested in that massage idea.

You lay across the blanket on your stomach and glance expectantly back at him over your shoulder. This seems to shake him back into the present moment, and he positions himself above you. Your body warms at the reminder of how much taller he is than you- the way that, in the past, he'd been able to manhandle you, touch any part of you, overwhelm you while you gasped his name. You shake the thought from your mind for the time being- he needs you to take this slow. For now, anyway.

Axel's hands come to rest tentatively at your shoulder muscles, and you smile at the familiar warmth of his touch. He's always been warm, though you suppose that only makes sense. Very gently- almost too gently- he begins to rub your shoulders up to the muscles at the base of your neck. You close your eyes and exhale, smiling while your heart flutters at the chance to finally feel this, feel him. Gradually, he works down to your shoulder blades, and you let out a groaning sigh as he works out a knot you hadn't noticed prior.

"Mmm, that's nice..." you murmur. You feel Axel's body tense behind you. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah," he says, too quickly.

Before long, those strong hands reach a firmer and more consistent pressure, and he seems ever slightly more sure of himself. You allow yourself a few happy sighs and groans to encourage him, commenting now and then when something feels especially nice. He takes his time, and you're patient, reminding yourself that, for as much as you burn and ache for more, he needs to be the one to guide your pace. Yet by the time his hands run down your back, tracing your waist and reaching your hips, you can't help the cat-like way you squirm beneath him. He's closer to you now, and you can feel his heat behind you. For a moment, you think you feel something else, too- something hard and warm at the swell of your ass.

"Damn, Y/N..." he mutters as he runs those hands back up your body, thumbs applying a wonderful pressure close to your spine, "You're gonna make me lose it with those noises..."

"Mmh, but it feels so good, Axel," you luxuriate on your words, mercilessly prodding at his lust. Perhaps it's cruel to tease him this way; already, you can feel the harsher grip of his hands, and you're certain you hear something like him biting back a groan of his own. With a playful look back at him, you arch your body and say,

"I missed this, you know. Having you on top of me."

"You little..." his words trail off, but his hands wander lower, briefly groping at your ass in a way that reminds you of how he'd grabbed and spanked you in the past.

"Sorry, sorry," you say with a small laugh, "Is this too much?"

"No," he grips your thighs and runs his hands upward until he's cupping your ass in both hands, spreading it beneath the fragile barrier of your swimsuit, "Now that I'm past that first barrier... it's nowhere near enough. Maybe that's what I was really nervous about this whole time."

At first, you only hum pleasantly as he fondles your body, your pulse racing with the thrill of his hands meticulously tracing your every contour. When you finally think to speak, you ask,

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." you feel Axel's thumb play along the edge of your swimsuit, just barely sneaking below the clingy fabric, "I mean that I'm so crazy into you that right now I can't think of anything but how badly I wanna show you exactly how my heart and body both feel about you. And once I start..." his body presses to yours, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, "I don't know how I'm ever gonna stop."

For a moment, you're mindless and breathless. The heat of him around you is intoxicating, warming you through to your core even as the sun begins to dip beneath the glassy ocean behind you. Axel props himself over you with one arm on the blanket beside you, while his free hand holds at your hip, tugging you against him so you can feel the pressure of his hard and throbbing cock against your ass.

"Please," you whimper, "Axel, I've missed you so much."

Without a word, he tugs your swimsuit out of the way and opens the front of his jeans. The head of his member presses to your needy, clenching little hole, then forcefully begins to spread you open around him as he thrusts forward. His impassioned groan is swallowed up by your gasping cry of his name, but for a moment, he simply remains sheathed in you. You'd nearly forgotten how big he is, and he seemed eager to remind you, but even so, you can tell he hasn't entered you to the base just yet.

"Sorry... for makin' you wait so long..." he grunts against your ear.

"Wo... worth it..." you barely manage to reply. The pain and pleasure of him stretching you around his iron-hard cock is mind-numbing. You feel the tingling sensation across your skin all the way to your fingertips. Then, just as you'd begun to get accustomed to his size, his hips begin to sway. Despite his desperation for you, he's gentle, carefully and gradually pumping into you at a pace that allows you to adjust as he fills you just a little deeper with each pass. Axel has always been so much more gentle than he wants anyone to know, but you adore the harsher things about him, too. When you feel the tinge of discomfort of his cockhead bottoming out inside of you, your ass finally meeting his lower abdomen, you sigh his name aloud in absolute bliss.

"How's... that heart of yours doing?" you half-sigh.

He's pressed against you, holding you with an incredible loving tenderness while his massive cock sends mind-breaking tremors through your core.

"On fire," he says, the pace of his thrusts picking up, his breath hot and ragged at the back of your throat, "I like it."

[eff-plays]

Wyll really is just so ignored, I'm playing for the first time and just got to act three and jesus, first time seeing his dad in forever at gortash's ceremony thing and theres like no reaction from Wyll?? unless my game bugged which it's been doing more than a fair amount since patch 7.. Like a lot. I saw someone say that Wyll gets treated like Karlachs backpack and like yeah... that scene is about gortash and karlach mostly, Wyll and his dad are just kinda there?? Mean while astarions plotline about vampires doesnt really seem relevant to the story literally at all but theres so much content focusing on that.

HEY sorry for coming back here to yell. If you know all of this or don't care for my flabbergasted yelling then please don't mind me, apologies if this is nonsensical, I am bewildered and my mind has been servery boggled. I just fully took a second to notice that wyll has 1 (ONE) greeting if you've romanced him, I was a lil baffled so I spent a minute spamming everyone in camp and saying hi and ahahahahah, everyone but lae'zel and the side npcs has at least two for the approval I have with them, karlach has 4. So I went to the wiki and, lae'zel has 4 possible romantic greetings and everyone else have above 10 APART FROM WYLL, WHO HAS 1, some of those greetings are if you've broken up but Wyll apparently has 0 (ZERO) if you've broken up BECAUSE Wyll has 7 possible greetings TOTAL TOTAL!! lae'zel has the same amount of platonic greetings as Wyll does total, asstarion has 27, shadowheart has 36 , Karlach has 38. what the actual shit, I'm not sure if the wiki is outdated and they added more for patch 7 but like?????? I also just had that cutscene with mizora, we had just doomed either Wyll or his dad, his dad in my case (even though what Mizora was offering was his location and protection from all but us, doesn't mean that he's dead for sure but everyones acting like Wyll just sacrificed his dad for his freedom, EXCEPT for Karlack whos acting like I took the deal, they really refuse to fix any bugs that involve Wyll huh), and we just get one of those "talk to me" interactions in camp, you don't even get to talk to him about it after that, he just goes right back to "I'm here for you, always" and all the default dialogue options, like bro you dad apparently just had his death cemented and THATS ALL WE GET? thats all he gets? No extra lil bit of dialogue to reassure him seeing as we may have just killed his dad?? idk it feels very significant to his character seeing as he often talks about how much he adores his dad but no? I really regret romancing Wyll first, I'm just getting mad at the game and his treatment like damn. I'm so disappointed, usually fandom ignoring any and all poc in games is just their racism and I've no doubt thats still happening here but I really can't blame people for not latching onto Wyll, he's great and I love him but even when romancing him and no one else, every other companion seems to have so much more going on, cause they literally do, they have so much more content. I knew he had less, I've seen that reddit post about the amount of hours each companion gets but the greeting thing really just whacked me in the face. small and minor correction, i misread the 10 as a16 I believe, so astarion has 21 not 27 as i think i said before! STILL OVER DOUBLE WHAT WYLL HAS AHAHA

(I assumed these were the same person so I bundled them in one big ask)

Oh but remember, Larian ENSURES all their devs work on EXACTLY what they want to work on!!! :))))

This is also why I think Durgewyll is the big brain romance of the game. Because it's the only way to experience even slightly more Wyll content. Like?? ONE romance greeting that was BUGGED for until a much later patch? Like!!!!! GENUINELY THE FUCKING AUDACITY. They should be legit fr fr ashamed lmao. Also Neil Newbon glazing Larian for being soooooo inclusive and making such groundbreaking representation while their only Black character is in the fucking toilet.

Ugh. It sucks so bad lmao. It's frustrating too cuz there's nothing one can do. Clearly speaking up about it has done fuck-all. Even if they drop the world's biggest Wyll patch, it'll still be like oh ok so all that racism was just a funny joke I guess? "Haha tricked you all into thinking we were racist?" To be clear I do want a massive Wyll patch, but I'm still never getting a Larian game again even if they drop it. I'll mayhap pirate one but even so. They've shown their priorities and preferences. They're SOOOOOO keen on speaking to their fans and addressing every little piss-ass useless gripe as soon as possible, except when you ask about Wyll. Then it's radio silence. Because even acknowledging it, apologizing for it, would be inconvenient. It would make it a Big Deal that people would Talk About, and it would tarnish Larian's current status as the gamer audience darling. So better to pretend it's not happening. After all, the only people upset are just some Twitter randos, and nobody listens to those guys.

Whatever man. Theo Solomon saying peanits.

[backjustforberena]

i'm probably the only one that didn't enjoy rhaenys and corlys' s scene fully, idk It was awful when he left her alone even if she needed him and she was almost in tears, rhaenys's deep loneliness hurt me. it was almost the same sensation i felt during the 'driftmark episode'.

I'm never going to say that I "enjoyed" Corlys leaving her because what that man should do is wrap her in a hug, never leave her and just do everything she says.

BUT. I do actually love it. It's heartbreaking. But it's in character. I don't think that Corlys fully believes himself capable of being a support to Rhaenys, nor do I feel like Rhaenys can fully be open to Corlys. This is the closest she's come to it, but there's still a sense from her to protect herself. I think they're both facing mortality and their losses and potential losses... and that's making them pull away from each other but also pretend that things are fine.

Corlys has just returned back from the dead, basically. And his heir has been murdered, a boy they loved dearly. I also think there's a lot of compound grief about his kids and his brother. His usual coping mechanisms are shaky. He can't go to sea, his physical fitness was diminished and he's still ashamed of leaving his wife. He's not feeling masculine or strong or worthy. So deflecting and pretence seem to be the order of the day so as to not make Rhaenys worry, in the hopes that he'll become that man. So he'll avoid the conversations bound to cause them strife and he'll put all his effort into building his boat back up and he'll trust that his wife will remain patient and loyal because he loves her. He knows how strong she is, how she's survived without him and doesn't need him. He'll work and work until he can be of practical use to her and unashamed to engage with her.

So I think there's absolutely the question that can be asked if: how bad is Corlys actually admitting this is? He's wanting to keep her happy. But he thinks the best way to do that is to ignore the issues.

And, crucially, he thinks he's got the time to do that. Or hopes he does, at any rate.

I think as vulnerable as Rhaenys is, Corlys is suffering with his own vulnerability.

Rhaenys, on the flip side, is just asking him to be there. She can handle it, and I think that's what he's taking for granted, she can absolutely carry herself and it and everything. She doesn't need him. But she wants him. She wants him to support her on the council, she wants him to make a choice about his heir (I genuinely don't think she minds who, just pick), she wants him to have this tough conversation and be honest about the fact that this is war and she might lose him and he's not invincible. And that that scares her. He scared her. It's not so long that she was left without him and didn't know what to do in a way that might make him happy.

But Rhaenys is never going to press it. I think she's aware of his fragility. She sees him trying to deal with his feelings as a rush to get back to war, rather than a rush to be strong and useful again. She's nurturing him (made sure he had lunch, broth included), she's trying to see if he can be relied upon. She wants to rely on him.

But she can't because she's fixed on the idea of strength. They speak of politics but not feelings, not really. The only thing that betrays her is her voice, not her words.

She still takes comfort in him. I stand by that. But I think both are seeking comfort in each other but away from each other? If that makes sense? It's like right place, wrong time. There's a disconnect there, not out of any conscious effort. In fact I think they think they are helping the other! But in protecting yourself, you close yourself off from your partner.

Corlys can think he has time because he's not going to sea any time soon. But Rhaenys is on the frontline. Politically and personally, she is seeing that war coming like a dark cloud. And she knows how fleeting things are.

I hope that made a lick of sense. I enjoyed the scene immensely because I enjoy the characters. Tragedy included. The tragedy is now built-in.

[mo0dy-succubus]

Special Treatment

Dom!Soyeon x fem!reader

Authority kink?

Semi-public/risky sex

Squirting

Cum eating(idk)

Boss x employee AU

(This was inspired by tinyidles the different sides of soyeon:Windy)

Your boss Windy, also known as Jeon Soyeon. She owned Windy burger joint all throughout the county. She was super strict to everyone. Well all most everyone.

Your breath hitches your chest moving with every thrust. Here you are. Getting absolutely pounded by your bosses who is also your girlfriends desk. Yall kept your relationship as confidential as possible to avoid any problems to get people thinking you get extra payment.

She treats you like all her other employees. Besides fucking them like she does you. "M-miss~ Windy~ we are gonna get caught~.." you say trying to protest. "Babe you know you don't have to say that when we are alone~" she says looking at your flushed face as she fucks you with a strap on.

You whine feeling your orgasm climb. "S-soyeon~" you say tears flowing down your cheeks. Soyeon kisses you to silence your moans from your orgasm. You tremble squirting all over your girlfriends strap. "Ohh~ look how hard you came this time~" she says dipping her finger in the puddle of your juices on her desk before licking her finger clean.

You pant before sitting up, your hair a mess. You hop down off her desk your legs bucking and trembling still before fixing your bra that was pulled down to expose your breast. "Windy- I mean- soyeon, we can't keep doing this it's to risky" you say you girlfriend helping you put on your clothes. "Why not, you are irresistible" she says teasing you.

You roll your eyes before you get a kiss from soyeon. "I don't like you haha" you said jokingly. Soyeon rolls her eyes before waving you off. No matter how cold she may seem you know she loves you. Alot.

No bc Windy era was literally so good she was so hot in that era change my mind! We need more windy fanfics pls I'll literally will cry if there was more.

[afreakingdork]

Hey! SBF🐍 back again.

I took some time to go back over the fiction so that I could properly respond.

Firstly what mainly didn't make sense was in chapter 9 right right when Y/N fell off the bed, the wording of the Position? Didn't make sense to me- as well as the description right after of the position in (what I believe) is Y/N being lifted up by Don and as he stands on the bed? Idk I reread it and it still seemed odd. I'd love to hear what you were trying to portray better!

By getting to the Villain part comment was made because i have a bias of the word Villain. (I either think megamind type or a political one like Raymond Redington from blacklist) but upon your response I realized it probably isn't like either 😆 I'm still excited to continue reading and am definitely hooked!!

Tons of well wishes while I beat away the demon of writers block. 😁

Hey! Welcome back and thank you for taking the time!

So for chapter 9, quick shameless plug, I did a dirty doodle for the three main positions for visualization on my patreon. I'm disappointed in myself to see that these weren't clear in the text and I genuinely apologize for my failing as a writer. There are three main positions from that section which I will talk about under the cut since it's racy content.

So starting out, the first position was facing each other and doing it on the side of a bed. Reader is laying right at the edge and Donnie is bent on his knees between their legs. When reader falls, he splits their legs wide open with the mention of a clotheshanger. The next position is when he lifts them straight off the bed and then lets them 'drop' a certain length down his length lol. This is basically standing missionary and then the final position is exactly as you mentioned, he walks straight up onto the bed while in that same position. There, if you know the wheel barrow position, then what occurs is the reverse of that. Because of Donnie's height, when reader's upper body falls, it means reader is basically dangling upside down. I hope that clears that up for you. I'll have to take a hard look at the writing to try to pinpoint where the positioning got confusing. If you have exact verbiage where I lost you, that'd be greatly appreciated.

That's very interesting that you came into the fic with a bias /gen. Megamind is a particular flavor that I suppose you could say he openly out? Then, I've never watched The Blacklist, so I have no idea what Raymond is like, but I'll take what I know about political villains and say, as odd as this may sound, that Weak Spot Donnie is both of those and more. Again, I urge you to remember that the story is from reader's POV and we only know as much about Donnie as he lets us.

Thank you again, truly. All of this helps so much, you have no idea! If something is confusing and i don't know, then I can't fix it!

[spiderh0rse]

shephard's mind notes part 5, e21-25 + e0

e21

wonders why the lights are off. Don't maintenance workers need light

turns on his goggles to BIG MONSTER

mixes up the syllables with shit and fuck

starts killing voltigore children

doesn't respect PETA

aware of. Idk what to call it milking kink

imagines Black Mesa throws it's bad employees down here

thinks the voices he's hearing are GHOSTS

starts talking to the ghosts trying to console them

starts crying for a minute

realizes wait huh not Ghosts just Echoes

ewwww he hugged a DEAD guy

starts assigning his brand new team some manner of. Multiplayer raid boss positions

his critical hits are fucked up rn

yells at his teammates for blowing up

thinks he should spend more time on rooftops

"that's right. The aliens are cold and they want our sweaters"

doesn't know how to knit

talks to the HEV charging station

not too sure what to call the Gargantua

agent Candy-Ass!! (Grinch's ultimatum voice) it's Gman!

wants to shoot the phone out of gmans hand

thinks his cold emotionless mask makes him cool

not happy to have organs in his face. He's leaving!

falls into the wet side of the dam

needs to start thinking of names for the barnacle,,

a bit surprised at how perfectly the bridge explosives worked. Irritated that the marines didn't explode em

realizes the dam is gonna BREAK and tasks himself with fixing it

e22

OH NO A WATERSLIDE

Way out! And he missed it. Hopes there's another one! Okay yeah he's out. No infinite loop

he's hungry :(

will squeeze his lightning bug at the black ops until they die

wants to slick the black ops .50 cal on a jeep

thinks he can't really trust anyone right now, including his squad

thinks everyone else will be tired tonight but he slept on the way over so he's got the advantage

delighted to see a tank. less delighted to see a mortar gun

aghast at the mortar gun guarding absolutely nothing. Was also like this about the .50 cal

seems aware that the spore launcher is a shock trooper child

voice crack,,

HATES being shot it's like stubbing your toe repeatedly. With bullets.

he's got SAND in his boot

disgusted at how easily people die after he talks to them. Vows to hide and never talk to anyone again

knows what the Canadian version of black ops are called. (RCMP!)

He's cooking with GAS. i love that expression

"guns are for wusses! I only need aliens."

rip and tear!

has shrapnel in his ass. Man.

just wants to bomb things in peace.

playing with the mortar gun

watches both Animaniacs and Freakazoid! Finds Freakazoid better.

sniper tf2s himself

he's from Arizona! New Mexico heat still sucks more

e23

finds the aliens more friendly than the black ops. Wants to strike a truce with them

he knows the universal greeting! unfortunately he has no snacks to share and as such it fails

momentarily excited to see a helicopter. Even MORE excited to see it shooting an alien.

shoots out the helicopter's gas tank

the helicopter exploding sends shrapnel into him :(

hates climbing chain link fences. The tops always scratch his hands up

anticipates being sent to military prison if he gets caught

remembers the last time he touched mold...

aghast at the ongoing uranium-in-dumpster issue

climbing a cliff! almost out! freedom! nope there's snipers

watches or is familiar with Adam West's Batman!

still confused about how many corpses keep showing up near medkits

sings "to the vent" to the tune of. Not actually sure what it's called but it's. Horse race music

keeps singin the tune

shocked to see a car without a steering wheel

cannot hotwire this car.

GAUSS GUN? FUCK YES

no it's just a horn.

slur count: six.

does NOT want to die in a parking lot

feels like such a trendsetter with all these vent lovers other than him

a BOMB.

tries in vain to convince a Barney to open the door and FLEE with him

would like to blow Black Mesa up but will turn the bomb off for the sake of progress

he is the world's crappiest assassin

has never seen a nuclear warhead before in his life! it's terrifying! he doesn't know how to turn it off!

asks the dead black ops if they're alive and could possibly tell him how to turn it off

e24

needs to stop killing people! just because they can be useful to him!

names his barnacle Barney while busy with the bomb

decides since there are two wires to cut he's got a 50/50 chance of blowing up or shutting the bomb off. Either way the beeping stops!

survives! Phew!

he prioritizes the beeping being gone though

skitters away from the bomb

GMANS AT THE BOMB WAUGH

Adrian can't find a way out to stop him

slur count: seven.

thinks gmans haircut is stupid

Adrian is pretty sure any companions he takes will die horribly

considers knocking out the lights and making a run for it. It's what Batman would've done.

"nobody expects the Shephard Inquisition!"

some random black ops surrenders to him at the end of his rampage

Shephard is unconcerned with coercing someone into cheating on her spouse

black ops name is Lydia!

Lydia considers Xen hell

Adrian brings Gman up to Lydia. She doesn't know anything about him either he's just WAYYY high up

Adrian's dialogue is a lot more awkward sounding when said in front of another person- oh it's on purpose! Sort of!

slur count: eight. Lydia :(

familiar with the Circ De Soleil

Adrian can't imagine where a crossbow would be useful

Adrian can't knock people out very well

he,, may have killed Lydia actually.

WOAGH suddenly louder

frag off...

not sure why he's yelling when he's just thinking

he's a CHAMPIONSHIP BOXER (self-reported) (pun)

ends a confrontation in bad shape and is moderately uncomfortable for a good while

addresses himself by name again!

takes a break to fix himself up. Picks bullets out of himself with his forceps

e25

may have a bruised lung

surprised at how well his equipment is holding up

voltigores? nah. Lightning-pigs

"no pain, no. Post traumatic stress disorder."

at least passingly familiar with both military and dnd terminology

wonders if he went crazy from going to another planet. concludes yeah possibly

LEAPS onto the back of a lightning-pig. Shoots it from its back!

wants to LEAVE not FIGHT MONSTER

considers attacking Lydia for telling him the vents were clear. realizes he already has sort of so they're probably in the clear

wants to make his aliens do tricks onstage!

Operation Condor? Not too sure what this is but I vaguely gather that it's a movie from how Adrian talks about it?

adrian i don't think a bomb shelter will stop a nuke

BAD SMELL BAD SMELL

Gene Worm smells worse than anything else Adrian has smelled.

recounts tear gas experience

tries to walk through the big pink portal. doesn't work. faces away.

gives up! Decides BLACK MESA WINS, he just isn't MEANT to escape

turns around. Gene Worm.

thinks it isn't real. Checks. Still there. Only then acts shocked

going back to the wind tunnel to relax he isn't going to fight this thing even if it lets him leave

Sparky! and Gill! They seem to either be talking to him or Adrian thinks they are.

Barney isn't talking though

"I was never a good marine. I couldn't protect the people under my command. I never caught Freeman. I couldn't go fifteen meters without running into some insurmountable delay. I didn't earn my advanced training, or even my rank as Corporal. Some guys just dropped it on me! I'm not even fighting for a cause, I just don't want to die. All the good things I did today were just because I was backed into a corner, and could only keep charging forward. If I die today, nobody's going to remember. Adrian Shephard might as well have never existed. And you know what? I refuse to believe that this overconvoluted, clusterfuck of a disaster happened just so that I could get eaten by a giant squid in a dusty ventilation shaft! So screw it. I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna fight, and I'm gonna fucking win!"

runs in! leg cramp! runs back. okay now he's fighting.

OH GOD IT SPITS MOUNTAIN DEW

Adrian dislikes Mountain Dew!

considers staring impolite

"fuck you! you hit like a pool noodle!" someone I know received a bruise from a pool noodle today

wishes he'd thought of shooting smaller aliens at people. Could've if he'd had SNARKS.

glad the Gene Worm's goop isn't electrified

he's going to be the first human to learn how to cook and eat giant alien squid!

insults Black Mesa's construction quality

the GIFT SHOP only sells SHOTGUNS

insults some shockroach and apologizes for the specist remark to Sparky

but he doesn't WANT to do the dew!

one shot is all he needs! twelve shots is all he needs!

his goggles do great at blocking the mountain dew

wants Sparky and Gill to tell everyone what he did if he dies. And to get his hard drive wiped/destroyed to be safe

drops his shotgun D:

"WAS IT A LOAD-BEARING SQUID?"

Stasis. Then...

Adrian does NOT understand what Gman is going on about but is pretty quiet about it

"and nothing of value was lost :)" "quite so."

"can I go home now?" Zaps to Xen. "this isn't my house!"

Adrian tries to convince Gman that he won't tell anyone about all this. He just wants to go HOME

stuck in his seat! cant move! in the helicopter!

he won, he guesses. upset at being stuck wherever he is. doesn't know much of what's going on.

knows Gman isnt human. Mocks his speech impediment though >:(

slur count: nine

they took all equipment. He implies he'd consider shooting himself if they hadn't.

post credits! chocolate bar!!!!!

Adrian struggles with the wrapper. greatly. curses Hershey's name.

sounds SO happy to have chocolate. Says it tastes awful though. Blames the assorted fluids it's been near and soaked in

e0

REVELRY

half of what Shephard is saying here is literally spoken half is thought

drill instructor balls...

finds the training facility he's getting military training in confusing and easy to get lost in

does GREAT pushups. apparently.

compares how he looks to Popeye, the sailor.

finds automatic doors and security cameras futuristic

slams his nose into the door :(

jazzed to get his hands on GUNS

wants his PCV to have a jetpack

anticipates forgetting everything about this tomorrow

isn't terribly sure what year it is. 200X.

dumbfounded at being ordered to stand literally in front of a target. Not happy to be shot

NEXT they're not going to be serving FOOD HE LIKES

Compares the dangers of military training to haunted house

SMELLS LIKE FRENCH FRIES

mildly slippery liquid on the floor...

yes, he CAN walk through steam without his visor getting fogged up :)

oh god the early appearance of electrified toxic waste

familiar with the Predator series

compares himself to Batman for having night vision goggles

assumes a runner's crouch

insults his drill instructor's mother

thinks embarrassing his instructors would be fine if it were funny

sprains his ankle in the course

pretty sure he just sucks at rope climbing

NOT happy to see mines in this simulation

well this sure is live fire with what sounds like a .50 cal

seems actually pretty impressed with surviving the live fire course easily

only his WEAPON- is his friend. Ahem.

he's good at point and click adventure games

does seem familiar with many of the enlisted men's names

SO happy to have a sniper rifle. I am also happy to see him have one

VERY snarky to his CO

finds the ease of this sniping exercise irritating

mixes up clips and magazines on purpose to piss people off. Does this with some models of gun too

slur count: ten

INSULTS Audrey's hat. Some random guy on-base

knows the engineer he's presented with. It's Jackson! We like Jackson!

Jackson,,, cannot see right now his goggles are FILTHY

use key... Shephard has no idea what that means.

chooses codenames.... Goes for the goofiest nicknames he can come up with on the spot

feels a bit expendable

[leatherbookmark]

so a v fun thing about being anxious

about having potentially hurt others is that like. when i was a kid no one's really went -- fuck, yknow what, when i was a kid no one even SHOULD have gone "i'm upset because you did X" at me because i was a fucking kid. i was stupid, i didn't know shit. this didn't stop my mother from making her displeasure with whatever i've done glaringly obvious, with her loud sighs and cold silence and the handful of seconds that passed slow as molasses every time i'd say sorry and hug her, and only after those several seconds she'd hug me back, as though she was letting me know just how much i hurt her and how reluctant she was to forgive me.

(which, by the way, she passed on to me. whenever someone hugs me as an apology, i need a moment to hug them back. and it's not because i don't like physical contact, i'm touch-starved as fuck. i hate it so much.)

the fun thing about being constantly on watch for the signs of having hurt someone who's Not Willing To Even Talk About It, Because They Have Given Up, And Also, You Should Know Better, is that you can't just turn it off. i can't go "oh yeah, from now on i'll just ignore this".

and also like. my mother practices this form of emotional economics in which she neatly catalogues every little thing i do that could potentially be brought up as something that hurt her, but is blind as a mole to the signs that i am hurt. and also, it appears that i've had a resting bitch face ever since i was a baby, because whenever someone came up to me like "you seem upset", it was never "has something happened, and can we fix it", but rather "why are you being huffy, can't you see it's ruining the vibe".

and so. in result. i have no, idk, guidebook on others perceiving me and my emotional states. because the default is just being ignored or misinterpreted and attacked. and so. is this person acting like they don't notice my (in my eyes) very obvious distress just... not an expert in my body language? are they ignoring me on purpose to teach me a lesson? how do i express myself in the first place so that i appear human, and not "dramatic" and "attention-whorish"? what's the socially accepted way of being sad enough that your friends/loved ones/if apply notice and go "hey, you seem sad, wanna talk about it?", but not enough that it's obnoxious? etc, etc

on top of that my mother's side of the family loves this thing where they say something is totally fine (but it actually isn't), or do something for themselves (but actually it was all for me), which is like. not only am i not worth talking to, like, seriously, not only are people prone to hiding their discomfort from me, but also i'm somehow this kind of person that people make sacrifices for, who then doesn't appreciate them properly.

so even if i really try to switch my anxiety off and ask someone if there's something i've done, and they say no, i... can't trust them, can i. every single time people say it's fine, or are nice to me, or compliment me, how can i be sure that they're not just being nice because they're nice to everyone? or that they're forcing themselves to tolerate me, because they're good people?

logically, it seems far-fetched that everyone would just pretend to tolerate/like me while secretly hating me/harbouring grudges, but it didn't... stop... my mother....