#idk. just kinda hard for me to grapple with the fact that this massive part of my life will be gone soon
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Hmm I kinda miss being 14
#though i was sort of a jackass back then#but hm#i miss school#i still go to school. but i wont next year. i miss still being years away from graduating. from *shudders* abitur#its not over yet but it almost is. i like going to school. i am fighting for my life in here but i am enjoying it in a way#its nice to know exactly what youre gonna do next year bc its the same thing youve always done. just go to school like normal#since i was like 13 i kept telling myself 'next year ill start studying hard. for my abitur' and it seemed so far away#it was something i just said. 'when/before i get my abitur i will do xy' but it didnt seem real.#like it is going ro happen buts its so far away it might as well not. and now? it feels surreal. im here. and now?#ive been doing the same thing for 13 years i cant just stop now. how can i just stop now? how am i expected to just stop?#idk. just kinda hard for me to grapple with the fact that this massive part of my life will be gone soon
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