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#idk. idk how much ive talked abt it b4 but it stresses me out supremely that ppl can see my body move when im not consciously moving my body
nomairuins · 2 months
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anyway things i still must do
1. brush teeth
2. eat probably.
3. switch clothes to dryer
4. the showers
#i can brush my teeth rn i shouldve b4. but im prooobably gonna wait until i switch the shits to the dryer#bc then i can umm. switch stuff brush teeth Chill and relax and be beautiful for 30 minutes then eat breakfast then my stuff modt.probably#will be ready 2 be out of the dryer andd then i will SHOWERS! yay#i probably should take off my clean clothes i had to wear them to put stuff in the dryer.#i havent worn such little clothing in AGES lol. its not anything crazy its judt shorts and a croptop#but normally i wear pants that Cover my feet and oversized shirts. bc of the dysphoria nd such#i will say my dad saying 'lol i didnt know you had legs XD' does not make me want to wear shorts ever again. out of spite. but whatever#I JUDT GET COLD and also i hate hate hate hate hate ppl seeing my body esp in motion. not even related to the Body issues and stuff#even when i was skinny it made my fucking skin crawl to know that ppl could see me. when i was just like. cooking in the kitchen#idk. idk how much ive talked abt it b4 but it stresses me out supremely that ppl can see my body move when im not consciously moving my body#in a certain way to be looked at#its not even a seduction thing or anything i dont thjnk i movemy body any differently when im Prepared to be watched vs not#aside from like. if im not i shake horrifically. like i always shake i have shaky hands favt of life but if im being watched its like.#borderline i cant do anything bc i shaje so much and have trouble breathing#its worse after wa tho. i genuinely had to run to my room in tears bc i started hvaing a panic attack several several times. LOL#but wtvr. its probably some deepseated issue its rly not 4 me to think abt.
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