#idk. i thought mutts were supposed to be more resistant to disease. i guess not

[electoons]

I need to keep reminding myself that I did so much to keep her comfortable and alive for long enough for my family to return and also that nothing I could have done would have kept her alive so I can't keep dwelling on it like I didn't do enough. I did so much. I carried her everywhere. I helped her use the bathroom. I constantly was wiping the brown crusty drool off her paws and the crud that kept building in her eyes to give her some feeling of cleanliness and comfort. I stuck an IV in her (that I got from the vet, not just, like, on my own) once a day to keep her hydrated. like even though I was scrambling to finish an animation and get work done I put aside so much time and effort and love for her. I watched her like a hawk for the whole week, dealing with this on my own (it's no one's fault, just really bad timing, everything just happened to line up perfectly for the perfect shitstorm), just to make sure she didn't collapse and hurt herself. I did enough :( it wasn't enough but nothing would have been