#idk. i just mask more and lamp doesnt but its crazy bc like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nomairuins · 2 months

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like a teacher liferally claimed lampstie. you know them. at age 9. like 4th grade. shoved the teacher to the ground in the busline and stomped on their head repeatedly while laughing. 1. no witnesses. in the bus line at pickup time. 2. the teacher was uninjured 3. they were 9 years old ? and not s super villain?

#what had actually happened iirc bc this was a while ago was the teacher who Treated lamp horribly all the time #<- yelling at them grabbing them judt being awful #was yelling and grabbing them in the busline and lamp had a meltdown bc theyre autistic Like evrybody else in this house MY MOM GOT DXED.#ITS JUST ME AND MY DAD NOW UNDXRD BC NEITHER HAS BEEN TEXTED ITS SO BAD FOR ME. anyways #but lamp had meltdown and at best pushed the teacher and rhe teacher mighrve slipped idrc #but they didnt jump up and down on their head while laughing and fucking sneering bc they were A child. GOD it pisses me awf #the worst part id i feel guilty bc so much of my childhood i viewrd lamp as like #Difficult and The bad sibling and i was The good one and shit bc rhats what i was told but now km older looking back like #lamp was literally just a kid snd everybody was openly talking abt how they were the bad one #idk. ive discussed it with lamp but i still feel so guilty abt it #we were close but def not as close as we are now and we had lots of bumps. idk it judt makes me sad i was so mean as a kid #like rhey tell me stories and ider them bc i. the memory loss girl. and i feel so guilty even when like..yk gesture. it wasnte #me. but it like. idk. i just feel guilty and awful abt it #bc were So insanely similar i just like #idk. i just mask more and lamp doesnt but its crazy bc like #lamp was so normal as a kid. like Autistic but they were judt a kid and i like #think abt things that happened and it makes me want to scream #like them being dxed with odd b4 even being considered for autism makes me so fucking mad esp bc like. ik lamps Not at all the only kid to #get that dumbfuck dx. and lamps an outlier even bc ik black kids r so much more likely to receive it. it just makes me so upset #idk ik this is like Wow connor great point but god theyre all just kids. yk. and obv theres a ton more stuff going on for black kids who r #dxed with odd . it just makes me so mad

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