#idk. I do feel more conscious right now. more aware. I'm glad I have him.

[neverendingford]

,

[abrthephantomq]

Soooo....

Turnabout Storyteller.

I had already vaguely known about Uendo having DID due to me not necessarily avoiding spoilers when reading fanfic, but...

I have so many thoughts on this as someone who HAS the disorder they're representing here.

Like, one, I definitely appreciated the way they revealed it -- during a Mood Matrix session. Having multiple sets of feelings and having them switch on and off like that is def a thing. I've/we've experienced that before.

But also -- before that, when Uendo was switching between his "characters" and everyone thought he was just putting on a performance? Yeah, see. They did that really well considering that like -- yes, the way alters hold the body/the face can be really different. They certainly felt like different people, which was really cool to see. I liked the different poses they had because as I played I was like, "Huh... is he the character with DID...? He is, right?"

The thing is, I'm like 80% certain that Uendo is the murderer, and THAT annoys me -- but I'm not done playing through the case, yet. I just started the second half of the trial, so.... I'll comment as I go.

But if I'm right and Uendo IS the murderer, I'm gonna have to roll my eyes because soooo many pieces of media use my disorder to show HEY SOMEONE WITH THIS COULD BE A KILLER AND NOT KNOWWWWW and I hate that. Because like.... no.

OH THANK GOD. Like 3 seconds into the send half of the trial and it's NOT Uendo. Yay. Yayyyyy. I'm actually really glad they did that subversion of the person-with-DID-is-the-killer trope. Thank fucking GOD.

SIMON GRABBING ATHENA when she starts to doubt she can prove Bucky's innocence is just -- fuck. Okay. Yeah, I see why the fandom loves that particular moment. (I love Simon so much omfg).

I am honestly loving this case and I actually really like the way they've presented Uendo -- it's simplified a bit for the sake of the audience, but at the same time, switching DO be like that. And you can certainly be co-conscious and share memory.

Like.... that's legitimately how our System works -- there's usually 2-3 of us up front at any given time, with someone generally more forward, while the other(s) listens / watches. Sometimes others push to the front. And there are 4 of us who more or less have access to the continual life happenings even if we don't always recollect specific details (or what we were feeling) later.

Also Owen being a LITTLE makes so much damn sense? Fuck, idk man, I love it. I kinda adore them.

I really really really got weary when Uendo's diagnosis was revealed because, y'know, the whole oh God pls tell me you're not the murderer even if it was kinda looking like you were.

That fucking balloon girl did it, didn't she? Jesus fucking Christ. I love that, but I also hate that. Also it's so unfair they made this chick so goddamned pretty.

Also man can I also say just how like.... they legitimately refer to Owen as a child, and Kisegawa with Ms., and -- that's actually a nice little piece of the writing here. Like... is it absolutely perfect? No. It's not. But let me tell you -- as someone with this disorder? Writing it and showing it for an audience is hard.

That whole, "everyone is unique" thing applies here -- every System is different. They all develop ways of functioning in order to blend in and protect themselves. Uendo may not have the denial bit that comes with this disorder (do you know how many times I find myself asking if I'm sure I'm not faking this thing? do you??? because like, it's a "rare" disorder, right? and was my trauma REALLY bad enough for me to have alters???? etc) -- but considering the confident way he, Patches, and Kisegawa speak about their experience with the disorder, I would imagine they've been in therapy for it for a while, now.

But also -- the three of them not being aware of Owen? Or denying his existence, at least? Well, they were either protecting him because he's so young, or they legitimately did not know since apparently he may only come forward when the body is drunk.

idk I love that Uendo et al was not the killer. Like so much. Thank FUCK.

Also that was a really fun case even if it was like, not entirely relevant to the overall story happening here in SOJ. I definitely enjoyed it.

[i-just-like-goats]

Hello! I dont know if you are taking requests rn but if you feel comfortable could you write the bsd characters helping/comforting reader through a bad panic attack? Maybe reader has been super stressed w/ school or work and has just been bottling things up until they snap. Personally my panic attacks are intense: hyperventilating, shaking, tears, digging my fingers into my arms and legs almost bruisingly, unable to hold my weight- just in case you need ideas. If this is uncomfortable for you then dont worry about it. Love your writing!!!

Of course I can! I don't have any personal experience with panic attacks but from what I've witnessed with my friends they can be really tough, so I hope this brings you some comfort❤️I wasn't sure which characters you wanted so I just did headcanons with the ADA and Port Mafia guys lol. Ahh thank you! I'm glad you like my writing. Thanks for the request and hope you enjoy!

BSD characters x Reader no pronouns specified

Summary: in the ask

Warnings: panic attacks

WC: 0.9k

Main Masterlist

Akutagawa:

Clueless

Doesn't know why you're suddenly digging your nails into your skin or why you're crying

But he's no idiot, he knows this isn't a normal occurrence, so does what he thinks is best 

And that is using Rashoumon's tendrils to gently hold your hands.

Akutagawa just doesn't want you hurting yourself and he also doesn't want to potentially make the situation worse by not giving you the space you need

Rashoumon holding your hands makes you aware that you're having a panic attack 

You cry harder when you meet Akutagawa's soft eyes and embrace him as you cry into his arms. You never wanted him to see you like this

Once you've calmed down enough, you explain to him that you were having a panic attack and tell him what causes them and what he can do to help you next time

He's so attentive and commits everything you said to memory so he can do what he can to prevent or ease your panic attacks

Atsushi:

He is trying

He is panicking so much internally and externally

Clueless #2

Atsushi has no clue what to do

So he does what he thinks is right

He tries to instruct you to follow his breaths once he sees your panic attack escalate into hyperventilating 

"I'm going to need you to follow my breaths, can you do that for me?"

He's relieved that you're still conscious and able to nod

He guides your hand to his chest and places your other hand on your own chest

Slowly he starts breathing in and nods at you to follow his breathing

"Take a breath. Now slowly exhale with me"

"Yes, that's it, just like that"

This goes on for several minutes

It was difficult at first, but his steady breathing did calm you down enough to start breathing more slowly

Once it's over, he's hugging you and stroking your hair just letting you cry silently into his shoulder

Chuuya:

Idk but he gives me the vibe that he'll probably handle it the best

He's wiping your tears with his gloved hands because he doesn't have tissues in his pockets

He makes a note to bring tissues next time in case you have another panic attack

He's holding you gently against his chest so you can listen to his steady heartbeat

He's rubbing your back telling you to let it all out

The soft fall and rise of his chest comforts you and encourages you to slow your breathing

He's so understanding and gentle

He's whispering words of assurance into your hair

He's rubbing circles into your back and gently kisses your forehead once the panic attack passes

Dazai:

I feel like Dazai has a vague idea of what to do and just tries whatever he thinks will calm you down

He's seen how stressed you had been lately because of the numerous assignments and deadlines you needed to meet

Dude's really calm about it and just tries to find a way that gets you through this safely

He sits next to you and gently clasps his hands in yours to stop you from digging your fingers into your skin

"I'm right here" keeps whispering that to you to try calm you down

Throughout your panic attack, he keeps eye contact with you because he wants to give you his full attention.

At some point, you collapse into his arms from exhaustion and he likes to rub your back and wipe your tears

Kunikida:

Like Chuuya, he handles it very well

The only thing is, his way is more professional, like it was written in a manual and he's following the steps kind of way

It doesn't matter tho, because it does work and you're no longer sobbing uncontrollably

He is almost 100% prepared, but then your legs start to give way from exhaustion and he's holding you gently in his arms allowing you to rest

However, the next day you get a whole lecture from him about the importance of rest

Don't misunderstand tho, he's only nagging because he cares deeply about you 

He's very sweet afterwards to make up for being stern tho <3

He bought you your favourite food for lunch and he insists that you let him help you with your tasks

Ranpo:

It doesn't take a Detective to tell that you're having a panic attack

Ranpo drops all his snacks and runs to you

Your legs shake and feel weak

He loops an arm around you to support you as you start to buckle

He's never seen you hyperventilate so he's shocked for a moment or two

But not long after, he's motioning for you to try regulate your breathing

He's taking deep breaths in and exhaling slowly 

Your breaths are still coming in and out faster than Ranpo's but they slow down significantly

You grab his hand and squeeze it to ground yourself

He holds your other hand and you're both breathing while he looks into your eyes

Once it's passed, he's super sweet like Kunikida and he even shares his favourite snacks with you

Tanizaki:

Like Atsushi, he's probably panicking

But it's less obvious in his case

He knows that he has to stay calm in this situation for you, so he's wiping your tears and telling you how important you are to him

He sits you down on his seat and he kneels beside you 

Your hands are clasped in your lap and he wraps his warm hands around your hands

He's rubbing circles into your hands and occasionally wiping your tears

You hate that you allowed yourself to become so overwhelmed where you're having a panic attack

But he's reassuring you that it's OK to feel overwhelmed and that you can always come to him because he loves and cares for you

You thank him and he smiles and only hugs you tighter reminding you of your importance to him

[bluemoonpunch]

I just discovered your website and fell in love with your readings! I love how you give your insights and your approach to the reading. One thing I want to ask is does the group energy reading represent the energy of the group at the time of the reading, or just the energy as the group exists? This is mostly towards the Stray Kids group reading. I'm curious, because as a fan watching them from afar, I think there has been a dynamic shift among them. (1/2)

(2/2)This is not me asking you to do another reading for them though, and I also believe it's not the time yet. They are still in the middle of a shift that is not yet ripened. They are going to join a survival show with big exposure this year too, so they might drastically change as a group after that. On a totally unrelated note though, I let out the ugliest wheeze as you refer to page of wands as the Signature Jungkook' Card.

📕 Referencing:

Stray Kids Group Energy Analysis Part 1 (2018)

Stray Kids Group Energy Analysis Part 2 (2021)

A: Yes, any reading I do should be looked at as more of a "snapshot" of the state of things there at the moment of doing the reading, which is why I always provide the date that the reading was performed as well as when the reading was posted as I can sometimes do bigger readings a week or so in advance. I've done two different group energy readings for Stray Kids and there is a noticeable change between them, but, for example, before the first group reading for them I posted, I had done the reading a couple of times before that and got a lot of negativity which didn't really change that much between those first couple of readings.

It's good to keep in mind that with group energy readings, I look at what the individuals project into the group, which is sometimes a lot different from the general energetic projection of the individuals separate from the group. I then look at how those projections mix together, how they interact with each other, which can vary between conscious level interaction and energetic interaction. Then, after all that, I look at the overall projection, the general ~vibe~ of the group as a whole, how they function as a unit, what they are able to produce physically or energetically through the group projection. It can be quite complex and fluid, but there are many factors to take into consideration, so just because some things seem different doesn't always mean that things have changed in terms of their energetic balance and connection.

Of course, major changes in career or how things are done superficially in relation to their work and routine, as well as any dynamic changes with members leaving or even changes in contracts, can alter the energetic projection of the individuals and change up the overall balance of the group. So, for sure, in the future, I'll probably look into them again if there's a demand for it, but yeah, they do need some time to settle into new things before anything would come up as being different.

XXXX

Q: thank you for the reading!! I'm glad that there has been progress for them personally, that was good to see. I've been getting that vibe from them and it seemed like taehyung's core was no longer split so I'm glad that it actually isn't. I hope that even with the not-so-good energy that they'll be okay. the end of the reading had me feeling kind of 😔 it would make sense if it has something to do with any kind of enlistment. im hoping it's not disbandment. im aware it could happen but it'll still hurt lol i just want them to be happy either way =( but thanks again -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

📕 Referencing:

BTS OT7 2021/2022 Outlook Reading

A: Yeah, the reading was a bit of a bummer toward the end, but overall things were relatively balanced for them as individuals on a more personal level. However, I do think we're seeing a lot of that general tension now with how a lot of fans are responding to the new music, specifically their last three releases. I'm sure that's stirring up some debate and conversation behind the scenes both with the group and the company overall. So, it seems like one of those things where work-life can be a bit stressful going forward, but personal work and personal life for them can be relatively smooth and enjoyable, which can be more rewarding in the long run.

XXXX

Q: oh wow, I did not expect ur 2022 outlook to hit me that hard lol, I was hoping for something more positive for BTS but on the other hand they have been doing all this for over a decade so it's natural for it to finally come to close. still feeling emotional tho hahah -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

A: Same, honestly. 😥 But yeah, it tends to be a natural progression for a lot of artists that get that big, almost as if their careers grow past them and they just ride the wave the rest of the way. Still, a fascinating thing to watch play out over the years, definitely something to appreciate and be proud of.

XXXX

Q: love love love your dream and georgenotfound reading! I agree dream's reading is especially interesting, and an individual analysis on either of them would be amazing!! -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

Q: This might sound crazy but I read your tarot reading on DNF and remembered you mentioning Cecil? I'm watching their geoguessr stream happening live rn and just saw them go past a sign that said Cecil. I thought that was a funny coincidence -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

Q: Hi! All of your readings are so well written and I loved your reading you did on Dream and George and I was wondering if you could do a reading on Dream. You mentioned maybe doing one. -@glimmercherr

📕 Referencing:

How do GeorgeNotFound and Dream connect?

A: Yes, most likely I'll be doing an Elemental Alignment reading for Dream at some point and maybe I'll include some stuff about his birth chart as he has some underlying cosmic imprinting that I think is really interesting. And yeah, coincidences like that are my favorite, just the little things that pop up that seem to tie things together in a funny way, lol. I'm sure there's always some underlying meaning to it somehow.

XXXX

Can you do a mini reading on jimin and jungkook? Whether it’s more equal now? Idk maybe because I am a Pisces I have been able to read other people’s vibes (I call them ) better I am no expert but I feel jimin thinks of jungkook as like an individual grown-up but still would always see himself as a protector kinda like powder siblings too? Also because this doesn’t show up consciously Like they always seem like equal and above sand all in behind the scenes too? Can you explain or clarify if I am right? -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

A: Yes, things are definitely more equal now. There's a very interesting progression for them that plays out energetically and even as deeply as on a soul level, lining up with their personal development and separation from the Soul Body. Of course, with Jimin being older and having had known Kook for so long, I have no doubt that no matter what, some part of him would always feel protective of Kook, the only difference is that Kook is in a headspace now where he can be protective back, be more of an equal support for Jimin right back. And, I agree, behind the scenes when they're not performing and not "in character," they can definitely display more of that equalizing push and pull, more so reflecting their energetic connection on a conscious and physical level, which tends to show a very strong soul bond that is being supported on both sides.

If you haven't already, I recommend reading these readings in order as they can really display that development between them over the past few years:

Relationship Reading for Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook P1 (2018)

Relationship Reading for Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook P2 (2020)

The Internal Alignment of Park Jimin (2020)

How do Jimin and Kook connect? (2021)

[serendipitybutterfly]

BTS Tarot Valentines Day Special:

BTS' Future Marriages...

I know... Unusual for me since I tend to focus more on advice than predictions for the most part... But, as it's this lovey dovey season, I decided to do a marriage themed reading as a special treat as I've gotten asks surrounding this kind of question before... This is going to be a mammoth post... Omg..

This is my Valentines Day present for you guys who follow and like my readings! Thank you!!!! I 💜 you!

So, without further ado... Let's get it!

*Disclaimer- the way i see it, although this is a prediction reading, I'm only working with the energies of the present moment. If one of the boys wakes up tomorrow and firmly decides he never wants to get married, then his path will change and future readings would reflect that. For the most part, the future is in flux and can be changed... If something is a huge, fateful, set in stone kind of event then the cards will let me know. Also, in this particular reading, rather than focusing on the physical appearance of their future partners, I'm intending to focus more on personality and only mention physical appearance if something strongly comes to mind or their looks come forward as a major message of the reading. Ok done! Let's really get it! 💜

Oh wait... before anything else, I was going to call this future Marriages or life partners (because, obviously, not everyone gets married) but I just decided to ask first off if they'd all get married for the sake of clarity and got a resounding yes for them all so... Yeah... As of now, all of the boys are likely to actually get married in the future. Although... Some are closer to that future than others. Also, I was going to put all of the readings into one big post but then I realised how ridiculously long that would be and decided to split the hyung line and maknae line up into two separate posts. I'm starting with the maknae line and hopefully the hyung line post will follow soon...

Maknae line:

Starting with Park Jimin...

Character profile - The archetype cards that popped out gave me an interesting message... I'm getting the image of someone that had quite a hard life, possibly even a somehow traumatic past (cards like bully and victim in particular stood out to me as being indicative of a troubled past), but managed to retain a sweetness and childlike innocence despite it... I'm also definitely getting the image of an introvert. Someone quite soft spoken, gentle and who comes across as a bit shy. She might feel more comfortable with animals and young children than with most people. Physically I feel like she will be younger than him, and somewhat innocent and fragile looking but at the same time there's something kind of edgy and / or sexy in her style... She might wear a lot of dark colours. Yeah... I know I said I wouldn't focus on looks... But I'm definitely also getting East Asian features coming through visually... I'm also seeing long, straight, black hair and fair skin. This is the kind of person who tends to inspire protective feelings in others... But at the same time has a lot of inner strength that they can use to heal and bolster other people's confidence in themselves.

Relationship- With the Dawn card, I feel like she will give Jimin a whole new fresh perspective on life... I'm hearing 'clean slate' and 'washing away'... I'm just feeling a lovely, pure, soothing, watery kind of energy to this connection overall. I mean, the romance angels oracle deck threw out 'True Love' to describe this connection so... I mean, if Jimin still has those romantic dreams of meeting his one true love like he used to... He can definitely have that wish granted! It's just... Going to take some time... With the Chariot in reverse here, I feel like he will have to wait quite some time before they meet...hmm... How old will he be in another 7 years? About 32? Could be around then or after... But, at this point, it's unlikely to be before...

The tarot here couldn't paint a rosier picture tbh... I really hope Jimin does meet this person in the future because it looks like this marriage could genuinely be the making of true and lasting happiness for him. Just look at these beautiful cards! 10 of cups... Happy family with a loving home environment and playing children! The star because this really is a dream come true, a wish answered. Then you have a reversed queen of wands (👀 omg why does Queen of wands energy always come up with anything to do with romance with Jimin??). However... Interestingly enough, here I'm seeing her as a soft spoken young woman who comes across as quite shy and introverted but who possesses a great deal of inner strength and power... (which is why context matters in tarot guys... Cards mean something different to me basically every time!). This is next to the knight of swords who I see as our lovely libra boy Jimin himself... I'm literally see this as a Knight in shining armor rushing in to the rescue. That's how he'll feel in this relationship. Not at all in a burdensome way... But like that feeling gives him this great deal of strength and confidence in himself. She makes him feel strong and capable and in control... Like a hero. Why is this making me emo? ...

Anyway, then the high priestess is here to sum this connection up and I feel strongly that this is an extremely deep, intuitive connection... The meeting of souls... They can look at each other and just... Know what the other is feeling... Could even be a soul mate / past life connection I think... Wow.

All in all... This is great news for Jimin's future in terms of marriage at this point. Although I do think it'll be a while before they meet and longer before actually getting married... It looks pretty rosy from then on! I'm not saying there will be no bumps in the road at all (I can sense that there are certainly some deep personal issues on both sides that actually need to be dealt with through this union... Which is some soul journey stuff... ) however overall this seems like it will be an amazing match! I'm so glad! 💜 💜 💜

Kim Taehyung:

Character profile:... Uh... Haha... You just had to be different huh Tae... Lol... Ok... So here's the thing... Where marriage is concerned, Tae has that interesting fate where he actually has a choice (I mean, everyone has a choice... But most people don't actually recognise it as a choice... It just kinda happens because it's their fate. Tae has the opportunity to make a conscious choice here regarding his fate because it's like either way he can learn important lessons and grow... Both are fated partners for him. Like a real diverging path kind of thing. He will get to a point where he can choose one path or another with basically full awareness of this as a choice... This is really interesting actually. I mean, either way, he will get married and he can be happy either way too... Although in different ways for different reasons... It's very interesting...

As far as personality goes... I see two distinct personalities coming through... On one side you have someone quite mature, serious, artistic, intellectual, quiet and spiritual and on the other side I see someone very young, pretty, flirty, fun loving, popular and witty... Also very wealthy and a little bit haughty... But kinda 'cute' and funny with it?? Idk why I'm getting that... Like a kind of sly sense of humour...

Unfortunately... This is weirdly up in the air because of this aspect of choice. I can see that both will appeal greatly to different sides of him... If only they could be one person... But alas...

Relationship: Again... The tarot shows how up in the air this is because there is not yet a set path. Tae hasn't even met them yet. He's not thinking seriously of marriage at all yet. However, with the Wheel of Fortune reversed here we can see that though this is not yet set in motion, it is fated either way. Death in reverse and the Hanged Man are also giving me that up in the air, 'paused', kind of feeling... Like this fate is just waiting, biding its time to be set in motion... Right now he's on a solo path, pursuing his career and furthering his goals... It's when he's ready to let some of that go that this will be set in motion... It feels like a few years into the future to me... Not too far but not too close either... I'm not getting a definite time frame. It could be within two to three years or around him going into his early 30s...

You'll notice on one side of the 'up in the air fate' cards we've got the 4 of wands and on the other side we've got the 10 of pentacles representing the two different connections. Both are really auspicious cards for marriage. Both connections are also signified by the two of cups... Both are deep love connections... Again because this is up the air, I'm not getting specifics about the outcomes of either choice, but it does seem atleast like he has the potential to be happy in either marriage. However it looks like in one he can have the big family and legacy (in terms of children and grandchildren and leaving a home and inheritance to them) he desires, while the other relationship seems more quiet and more just about them as a couple being happy together.

I feel like the card Solitude: Island speaks of that connection (them being alone and peaceful together... Perhaps travelling to faraway countries together... And that calmer more serious vibe in that connection) while the card Playfulness is speaking of the other connection (way more youthful, energetic, playful, and flirty energy... And also literal children- and puppies!- incoming!).

So yeah *shrug*... Decisions decisions Tae... He can only make the right choice when the time comes at the end of the day (and he has a lot of spiritual guidance on his side if he chooses to tune in). It's quite likely that by then his priorities and desires for what he really wants out of life will become clearer to him and that will make the decision easier... At this point, it seems like neither of them are a particularly bad choice... Though neither is necessarily perfect either... That's what makes this such a big, fateful decision I suppose... Good luck Tae! 💜 🙏

Now for Jungkook:

Character profile: Wow... Whatta boss... Lol. I'm kinda blown away by this energy to be honest. This is like... The best way I can describe it after looking at all the cards is... This is the kind of woman that both men and women are really attracted to and tend to like (regardless of sexuality). Like... Total 'girl crush', role model, material but also super attractive and sexy... Especially to men who like strong, capable women who have that 'boss' energy... Which is apparently future Jungkook I guess...

Actually these cards really make sense just based on what kind of people Jungkook seems to like to associate with anyway... I feel a sense that she will be older than him by at least a few years (if not, extremely mature and successful for her age). This is someone wise beyond their years who actively seeks knowledge and also goes further to implement what they've learnt to help others who are vulnerable. Something else that's coming through strongly is that this person is extremely creative and artistic... They have to be involved in the arts in some way, even if it isn't their main job. Actually, what I think is that she may work in one creative field (like say, a writer cause Scribe is there) but also does alot of other artistic and creative things as hobbies, like painting, drawing, dancing, singing... This is someone who delights in expressing her creativity so it doesn't have to make her money... She just loves it. Actually there's a kind of free spirited, bohemian, hippyish vibe here which is an interesting contrast to the boss energy... (I honestly want to be her best friend??).

Again, I know I said i wasn't focusing on looks but here looks are coming through really strongly... Like her attractiveness is really a major thing people notice about her so it has to be mentioned. I'm seeing long, wavy or curly black or dark brown hair (although she might also sometimes colour it... Especially red or reddish brown). She has a really great body... Like really fit and toned but also curvy (look at that goddess card! like I said... She's sexy). Also, probably a bit above average height. I'm also seeing that this is someone who's likely to have tanned or darker skin or who tans really easily in the sun... Like in the winter she might get quite pale but then in the summer sun gets a lot darker. She's definitely someone really natural, active and outdoorsy who's likely to get out in the sun as much as possible... I think she probably doesn't wear a lot of makeup... I'm just seeing a really natural beauty... Wow.

Relationship- With the Dreamtime: Creation card I'm getting two things coming through strongly. One is that I really think these two (certainly Jungkook) will actively be manifesting each other before they meet and will (or have already) dreamt about each other. Two is that, once again, I'm getting really highly charged creative energy. These are two extremely talented artists getting together and their relationship and home will reflect that. They encourage and push each other to improve. Really unique and quirky relationship actually... In fact, you'll notice that these cards aren't exactly overtly romantic... And yet... I'm still feeling the love?? Theirs isn't exactly a mushy kind of love but it's still very strong and extremely confident and secure. It's based firmly in actions that show love in a more practical way...

With the Sun shining on this marriage it's clear that they'll be really happy with one another (I see happy children here too... Another aspect of their mutual creativity... 😏 ) but there's also a lot of freedom and space. I see a lot of travelling and a lot of respect and understanding between them. That they are forgiving and don't hold grudges is coming through. This isnt a 'tit for tat' kind of relationship where they hold things over one another or only are nice to each other if the other person is nice first... It feels like they work through arguments maturely, quickly forgive everything and move on to being loving again.

With the page and 8 of Pentacles I see that they learn and grow together as people and work hard to make their relationship and bond extremely strong and they're successful in that. With the engagement card, I'm seeing two things, both strong commitment and loyalty to each other and also that they'll probably get married surprisingly quickly after they start dating. This is another case where I think it'll be a long wait for Jungkook... With the king of swords here... I feel like he'll be a definite MAN when he gets married... Like fully grown, probably rocking both longer hair and a beard... Lol... Older and wiser... Like around his mid 30's or even a little later... However, because he'll have been manifesting and dreaming of her for years (probably even already started guys) he'll just know from the time they meet that she's the one... So why hang about?

Conclusion... I kinda want to be bestfriends with Jungkook's future wife... She's really cool... 😭

OK... This has been the maknae line future marriages reading... I will try to drop the hyung line's readings before, on or just after valentines day so stay tuned! Hope you guys enjoyed!!! 💜 💜 💜

[bigskydreaming]

I'm not the anon from last night, about Ionaperidot's story, but no offense I kind of feel it shows how you are pretty quick to judge stuff. And that's maybe why people have such strong reactions to your posts about Ao3. Nobody likes seeing the stuff they like criticized and you're no exception so I would hope it'd be understandable that when people do respect your opinions on stuff & they see you shutting down things they like without giving it a full chance, it does seem kind of hypocritical.

LOL. Quick question.

Are you freaking KIDDING me?

Okay, see this is EXACTLY what I was trying to avoid and why I was doing my best to be vague and circumspect last night and shift the topic away from just that story in particular, because I’m actually not out here trying to start things about other writer’s work just because they did something that bugged me. I’m blunt as hell. If I want to say something, I say it. If I want to condemn something, I condemn it. If I want to criticize something, I criticize it.

I don’t play games about this shit and so I was legitimately TRYING to refrain from going into specific issues I had with a specific piece of fanfic. But what I’m not gonna do, is sit here and be told I’m a hypocrite who doesn’t give things enough of a chance before forming my admittedly strong opinions, because LMFAO.

You want the truth? I actually read a LOT of that particular story, AND even checked back in on its sequel in the hopes it’d addressed the specific issue that killed my enjoyment for it, because I WANTED to enjoy it, I enjoyed a LOT about it and how the other characters’ stories were played out.

My specific issue with that story ONLY arose at the point when Bruce stopped his research into trying to find a way to undo the Talon changes to Dick...on TIM AND JASON’S RECOMMENDATION. One of the things I actually really loved about the fic before that was how much it prioritized the personal agency of the kids as they coped with their various traumas, such as when Bruce made a conscious effort to let J’onzz ONLY use his telepathy enough to let JASON make the choice if he wanted a ‘quick/sci-fi fix’ to his brain damage related issues, or if he wanted to heal from it naturally and organically and in his own time. 

But all of that went out the window with Dick and Dick’s character alone, as the good Batdad who prioritized letting every one of his other kids heal naturally in their own time and on their own ways....listened to his two teenagers’ take that it would be too damaging for Bruce to undo the Talon changes to Dick, as they and the ways it had changed his brain were in THEIR OPINION the only things that made him able to cope with what he’d done as a Talon. Let me reiterate. Two teenagers with acknowledged mental health issues AND their own personal skews to how they viewed Dick that were born entirely of the version of him THEY’D known in their alternate universes....were given the deciding vote on how Dick was allowed - or rather not allowed - a full range of options in whether or not he got to heal from his trauma naturally and organically - the way they were allowed to.

That was what I was not okay with. That wasn’t their call to make, it wasn’t their opinion Bruce should have sought - especially not when he’s got alternate reality tech that gave him access to multiple other versions of DICK to ask HIS OWN ACTUAL OPINION on what he could or could not cope with. His own reality had a grown up version of Dick Bruce could have consulted. He could have asked the Dick from Tim’s universe when he visited. He could have asked the Red Hood version of Jason to ask his Dick. He could have kept searching through universes until he found a version of Dick who HAD been a Talon, and who found a way to undo the Talon changes...and ask HIM if he was glad he’d done so or if he regretted it and should have stayed the way he was.

But none of those things happened, or were even considered or raised as potential avenues of exploration, and even though I gave the fic a good long while after that before calling it quits in the hopes that it was leading up to somebody pointing out that there was a clear double standard underlying the logic used there....eventually it just seemed more and more like the reason Dick’s storyline was treated differently was because it allowed for keeping him as ‘cute and little and kinda broken’ and thus made it unlikely that he was ever going to grow up to be much like other versions of Dick...and thus unlikely to ever take any kind of lead in the family dynamics, which here would potentially ‘take away’ from say, Tim’s position in the family. THAT is what bothered me enough to quit the story. That a fic that was so fundamentally about mental health and recovery and allowing traumatized children the courtesy of applying their own damn agency to their methods of recovery....didn’t blink about doing the exact opposite to one specific character who’s noted for more usually occupying the position in the family ‘hierarchy’ that others were now able to occupy instead....and that seemed to me like the kind of character preference - that while totally understandable - is a mistake to allow to play out in a story with these SPECIFIC themes.

(Also, I’ve been pretty damn regular about expressing that I personally have a huge problem with the trope that Dick is ‘too good/too pure/too filled with light’ to ever kill, and that being made fully aware of what he’d done in the past would have broken him in the story...like, obviously falls into all my issues with that particular trope. 

I hate that it off-handedly implies that every character that HAS killed as a child, like Damian or Cass or even Jason whose first kills happened while he was a teenager....like, it basically suggests that they’re fundamentally LESS good, LESS pure, LESS filled with light....or else they would never have been able to kill in the first place, or else would have somehow been damaged or broken or irreparably LESSENED by doing so. And I think that throws all of THEM under the bus, rather than actually doing anything to uplift Dick’s character or express anything positive. 

Honestly, its just another form of infantilizing him. Especially when you consider that per Last Laugh, he has killed in canon and he ALREADY WORKED THROUGH having killed someone...like, it literally happened. On panel. It wasn’t easy, it did affect him, he did angst about it, but it didn’t fundamentally CHANGE him as a person or make him any LESS of who he’d been before.....and all of that is just further reason why I push back against the idea that Dick ‘just couldn’t kill someone ever’ or the tendency to sweep Last Laugh and what happened with the Joker under the rug. 

Because it doesn’t actually do Dick or his character any favors. Actually, its more that while nominally its said to be in defense of him and his character....its really more like people are saying ‘Dick can’t HANDLE killing someone’ - especially when you consider how much fandom as a whole celebrates and glorifies the characters who are able to kill in the name of victims and obviously doesn’t see it as a slight against Jason and others).

So yeah, THAT was my real issue with the story and why I dropped it and what I was trying to refrain from spelling out because I’m actually NOT out here trying to tell everyone what to think and DIDN’T have any interest in trying to turn people off the story or give them reason not to read it and form their own opinions about it, without mine clouding the issue.

But fuck that, if its gonna just lead to people giving me shit about how I don’t give things enough of a chance before making a judgment call against them, because lol actually, the last time I peeked in on that series was just two weeks ago, where I skimmed the latest updates to the sequel in the hopes that maybe the introduction of Roy had brought that issue to light, like he compared this Dick to the one he’d known and disagreed with their assessment of what Dick could or couldn’t handle, or else at least just flat out said no version of Dick he knew would ever be okay with his brothers deciding for him what he was capable of overcoming and what he needed to be protected from. Especially not if the end result was going to leave him permanently altered by what his abusers had done to him.

So...is THAT having given the story enough of a chance before forming a ‘snap judgment’? Did I do it right, per your official overview of the situation? Or should I still be reading it and waiting to form an opinion, same as I apparently should be still waiting for SOMETHING before deciding that....I don’t like how people react to criticism of Ao3?

Idk, I mean, maybe I actually AM pretty consistent about the things I do and say and post about and believe. And maybe the problem ISN’T that I’m kinda hypocritical.

Maybe its just that like you said, nobody likes seeing stuff they like criticized, and rather than working through that for yourself, you’ve decided to make it MY problem, SPECIFICALLY.