Survey results time.
At time of downloading the data we got just over 300 responses, which is not bad for a survey that was long and complicated to take! I'm sure my shamelessness helped. Being a survey for a specific crowd, we also didn't get anyone (as far as I could tell) taking the survey in bad faith, which is a legit surprise. Special shout-out to the several people who, when asked to write literally anything to say they understood what was going on, wrote "literally anything"; additional shout-out to the person who wrote "penus and hole" (sic). You get it, anonymous person.
I'm going to share the top results for the questions here, but I'll also include the raw data as a sheet at the end in case anyone wants to actually go through it with a fine-tooth comb. This is not a survey where cute pie charts or graphs would be useful or readable, so get ready for some sweet-ass numbers:
Story Genre
Unsurprisingly, our leaderboard for most favorite story genre in the 'Anytime!' category is as follows:
Hurt/comfort (153 votes)
Angst (142 votes)
PWP (139 votes)
We just like the guys to get the shit beaten out of them, angstily, and then they can feel better by jerking off about it. The ideal evening.
The big loser in genre, with 34 buds flat out saying "not for me", was Dark!fic. That said, Dark!fic also got 112 votes (third highest) for "has to be JUST right," so we can probably take from there that while as a group we don't hate dark content, we have pretty strict definitions for a) what counts as dark, and b) what kind of dark we're willing to take.
Gencest/gen was arguably the most 'eh, idk?' of the genres, with respectable showings in every category from Anytime to No; most people don't hate it, but people aren't really seeking it out either. It's definitely There.
Story Setting
The winner of most 'Anytime!' votes for story setting is close to my heart; the podium is:
Bunker era (142 votes)
Canon-close, codas, etc (129 votes)
Pre-series/weechesters (126 votes)
It feels good to know that canon is on our side. This may help explain why various alternate universe settings didn't do so hot with the respondents -- the least fave according to this survey is an age!swap AU, followed by a raised apart!AU. Writers who are making Sam the big brother who lives in Cleveland while baby Dean lives in Seattle, you keep living your truth, but readers are rearing back.
That being said, while Canon Divergence isn't an overall winner, it has a full 149 votes in the 'Dig it' category; so, while we may generally prefer canon, we're willing to be led on a garden path away from it. We just want canon to be within shouting distance, at least.
Canonical Character Variants
Here's where the survey gets more complex. I've always been interested in how and why people are fandoming about things, and simple 'yes/no' surveys rarely dig into that meat. The point of the superego/ego/id separation is to really interrogate -- hey, do you like to read about (for example) soulless!Sam because you find it interesting on a high-minded level, or because your heart-strings are getting tugged even if you think it's kinda dumb, or just because it makes you so hornt-up you can't think straight? All are valid, and all are possible simultaneously, but it's interesting to prod at to see how the interest is working. You might also just be like, eh, it's fine, or GOD, STOP, and that's fine too. So, with all that said:
Superego winners:
demon powers!Sam (202 votes)
soulless!Sam (177 votes)
blood addict!Sam (160 votes)
Y'all like to really brain about how Sam is fucked up. I get it.
Ego winners:
Trials of Hell!Sam (186 votes)
blood addict!Sam (180 votes)
demon powers!Sam (161 votes)
Still all Sam, and no surprise that his saintly pale sleeplessness is winning the heartstrings battle.
Id winners:
demon!Dean (205 votes)
demon powers!Sam (175 votes)
blood addict!Sam (165 votes)
Again, no surprise: fandom girlies (gn) love their bad boys, lol. Soulless snuck in at #4 here with 163, presumably because working out still wearing a belt was juuuust dorky enough to kick him off the podium; #5 was Smith & Wesson at 162, probably because if they'd been left in that AU for ten more minutes they would have been fucking over the top of Dean Smith's desk. Glad we're all on the same page, there.
The nopes here were an interesting mix. In the full-on No Thank You category we had Michael!Dean and Gadreel!Sam (with 52 and 53 votes respectively) -- it would be interesting to know if that was due to dread of the storyline specifically, or just how No Bad Wrong it felt to have it happening. These two also led the 'meh' category, although they were joined on the podium of bad by Endverse!Dean (128 Meh votes), which frankly shocked me. Y'all aren't into his thigh holster? C'mon now. Sure, he murders his friends without compunction, but -- thigh holster!
Story Tropes
These ones were fascinatingly all over the place, which is exactly why I wanted to do this. Going to just run down the S/E/I podiums real quick, then 'Hard sell', then No --
Superego winners:
Outsider!POV (211)
Someone Finds Out (191)
Mental health issues (190)
Ego winners:
Mutual pining (252)
First time (242) AND Sick/injured (242)
First time in a long time (235)
Id winners:
Jealousy/possessiveness (224)
First time (218)
First time in a long time (180)
Now, part of what's interesting about these is how they fall off in other categories. Outsider POV wins handily at Superego with 211, but then drops all the way down to 92 votes at Id -- which isn't nothing, but clearly it's preferred to have a heckin' think about how other people view the incest relationship, rather than thinking it's just So Hot that people might. Similarly, while people do think it's so so hot for one brother or the other (or both!) to be possessive at 224 votes, when it comes to the superego that drops right down to 134 votes, presumably as the brain wakes up and goes RED FLAG!
Entering the land of no thank you, we shall have two anti-podiums:
Real hard sell:
Infidelity (127)
magic/powers!Dean (125)
Unrequited/no relationship upgrade (110) AND "Carver Edlund" fandom
This is a much more mixed bag. Infidelity and Unrequited are no surprise here, because it Feels Bad, Man; magic!Dean also not really a surprise, given that most of our respondents prefer being closer to canon, and Dean is very much our mundane buddy in the show as presented. (A delightful buddy, but a distinctly nonmagical one.) Carver Edlund fandom makes me laugh mostly because it's such a bananas thing to exist in the show. Sam and Dean reading big bang fics about each other? Collectively we just... don't know what to do with that. Weird.
Squick/No/Maybe one exception:
Permanent character death (140)
Infidelity (108)
Eating disorders (102)
Again, no surprise in the anti-winners of 1 or 2 here, but number 3 surprised me, personally. ED fic used to be a pretty big wedge of common tropes that people would seek out. Perhaps it's gotten less popular over the years? Or perhaps just that the people who like it REALLY like it and so chat about it out loud, while those who don't quietly bury it in sand, lo as a cat does with their leavings.
Most extreme delta in 'general interest' (whether that be S,E, or I) to 'ehh' (whether that be Hard Sell or Squick) is first time. Y'all loooove your first time.
Sexy Tropes, Vol. 1
This is where I really wanted to know if people could pull apart their interests between brain and heart and guts. Hopefully people were honest, as requested. Some of them we know are slight liar answers, because the hits on AO3 tell a story that can't be refuted -- nevertheless, here's what people were willing to admit to.
Bulletproof kink/will read any version:
Bedsharing (158)
Incest kink (139)
Size kink (133)
your friendly neighborhood survey creator is jumping up and down going 'wooo' that size kink made the podium. also I hope everyone understood that incest kink meant, like, indulging in the incest of it all via 'oh you're so totes my brother and i want to suck your dingle for that reason specifically', but I realize that could've been clearer.
Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:
shameless bottom!Dean stuff (151)
switching (147)
voyeurism (138)
the first one here genuinely surprises me considering what I see getting written most often; is this a case of just not being in the right venn diagrams, or the 'easy sell' just not matching up with what people are being sold? Curiouser and curiouser.
Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:
bad/awkward sex (120)
phone sex (114)
in [drug/alcohol] veritas (110)
edging into awkward town in a few ways here: we don't love these, but we can see how it'd be fun. or not fun, in the case of bad sex.
Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:
always-another-gender!AU (84)
multiple Sams or Deans (73)
genderswap (magic) (72)
so, in general, we prefer to keep the penises around and intact, but just one Sam penis and one Dean penis, please. Here, I'm interested that the volume is much lower than in the top category: maxing out at 84 hard sells compared to 158 bulletproof options means that we're willing to give more of these tropes a chance, even if they're not our faves. How accepting we are!
Squick/no/maybe one exception:
always-another-gender!AU (83)
A/B/O elements (65)
multiple Sams or Deans (51)
strong overlap with the hard sell; and, keeping in mind that people were able to choose multiple options, it's possible that some of those were identical votes. Again, please keep the penises straightforward and only two at a time. A/B/O is interesting here, especially given what we know of how well it does on AO3; while it's a big squick for a lot of people, it also has decently high votes in bulletproof/easy, averaging 82 votes. Mixed bag!
Sexy Tropes Vol. 2, Electric Boogaloo
Bulletproof kink/will read any version:
Possessive/claiming sex (129)
Marking (hickeys/bruising) (116)
Hair pulling (103)
Let's glance back up at the Id winners in the story tropes above, hmm quietly to ourselves, and move on.
Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:
Marking (hickeys/bruising) (135)
Hair pulling (130)
Possessive/claiming sex (121)
Well, that's boring. So let's expand so as not to be repetitive:
4. Dub-con (116)
5. Dom/sub (113) AND Underage (113)
6. Knifeplay (107)
There we go. Pretty easy to put all of those into one fic, too.
Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:
Blindfolds (128)
Painplay (116)
Shibari/rope play (112)
We're starting to lose interest as accessories come into play. Interesting to compare D/s and its relative success against painplay -- so, tell him what to do, but don't hit him while you're doing it. Fair enough.
Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:
Fucking machines (94)
Vore (80)
Mommy!kink (77)
Entertaining mix here, haha. General feasibility may be rearing its head here. (Also, for my own entertainment: daddy!kink got 67 Hard Sell votes. People generally prefer to keep it as horizontal incest, not vertical incest.)
Squick/no/maybe one exception:
Feederism (164)
Vore (161)
Extreme underage (157)
No surprises here, although some fans of the nibbly variety of wincest may be disappointed by vore's poor placement. Note also that 'extreme' is in the eye of the beholder; we'll leave aside value judgments, as we have for the whole survey, and note that people are not indulging in a version of underage they find to be personally past the line, or at least are not admitting to that.
At a glance, the closest matchup between bulletproof for some and a squick to others is bloodplay, with just 1 vote separating the two categories: 44 bulletproof, 43 squick. Next time someone tries to tell you that 'everyone' likes or doesn't like something, please take it with an entire shaker full of salt.
Dynamic & Position Preferences
I tried to encourage people not to think too hard about this one and just answer on instinct. Who knows if that worked. But here are some overview takes:
Toppy/dominant: Sam takes the lead here, with 69% of respondents being in the 'Love it!' category. Nice. (217 votes)
Dom Dean earned a respectable 52% of 'Love it!' votes (163).
However, I was also interested to check out the inverse --
subby!Sam: 44 'Very no thank' votes (13%)
subby!Dean: 27 'Very no thank' votes (8%)
It's interesting to leap way back up and compare that against 'shameless bottom!Dean stuff' doing so well in the rated E categories. Makes you ponder.
Actual sex position: Frequently switching takes the win here, with 61% of the vote (194 votes). Sam always topping edges out if people must choose, with 144 votes; Dean always topping is our lowest choice, with 112.
Service!topping: this is a fairly niche fic type, but it does still exist -- I guess in a world of bottoms someone's got to actually get up and do something, and it is hilariously an almost perfectly even split:
service!top Sam: 50.17% (151 votes)
service!top Dean: 51.50% (155 votes)
A healthy percentage of people said they didn't care about these questions either way, and more power to them. However, they were wildly outvoted by those who did.
Multishipping Time
Our final categories are when other people get their grubby hands on Sam or Dean, either canonically(ish) or in our fandom activities.
Canonical relationships for Sam
Jess wins, quelle surprise. :) 161 people Dug It and who can blame them.
Amelia LOSES, shocking no one: 112 people said Fuck That.
Eileen was definitely a mixed bag; her results, in order, were:
Meh: 92; Fuck that: 76; Worse than meh: 66; Dug it: 44.
Canonical(ish) relationships for Dean
Note here: it was too unbalanced if we only went with people Dean officially dated. However, the show leaned hard into a few unrequited male relationships for him, which we included here, and no one sent me hate about it so I guess that was fine.
Benny wins the Love It! category with 129 votes, barely edging out Cassie at 122. Benny is best boy, so that fits.
Cas loses with a full 99 Fuck That votes, which is probably what we'd expect from a wincest survey. That said, he also got 93 Dug It votes, so it's a pretty balanced showing.
Poor Lisa sits firmly at Meh with 148 votes. It's not that we hate you, Lisa; we just don't really know what to do with you. Which is pretty much how the relationship went in the show.
Shipping Sam like FedEx
We returned to the S/E/I model for shipping as we did for tropes, because it means something very different to go 'oh sure, I can see how that would be interesting' vs saying 'I want them to fuck rawnasty and I don't care why they're doing it.' Apologies if I left out your favorite side-ship but, shit, there's only so much time in the day.
So, we return to the podiums:
Superego:
Ruby (132)
Rowena (121)
Cas (102)
Ego:
Rowena (121)
Cas (106)
Ruby (90)
Id:
Ruby (125)
John (121)
Rowena (118)
So that was going on sedately until Dad came in like a hammer. Fascinating. On the other hand:
No:
Lisa (234)
Donna (222)
Claire (219)
Interesting to me that these three are ladies that Sam theoretically could have got up in but people are not into it, regardless. This is slightly different to Dean's 'no' category -- spoilers for three inches of screen space!
Dean, Shipped by UPS
Superego:
John (129)
Benny (115)
Lisa (99)
Ego:
Benny (134)
John (116)
Lisa (102)
Id:
John (147)
Benny (128)
Crowley (114)
Well. That tells a slightly different story, ahem. Enjoy the various tropes that will be applied, Dean! And then we get:
No:
Amelia (245)
Kevin (223)
Gabriel (217)
Comparing to the Sam 'no' above -- these three are slightly more 'traditional' Sam ships, though the wincest shippers are nevertheless not into them for Sam, either. Dean literally never spoke to or saw Amelia on screen, so it'd be a determined shipper who'd make that happen. Not undoable, though!
Conclusion
Syke: there isn't one to be made. This really shows how diverse the taste is in the wincest community, or at least in the wincest community that a) happened to see this survey over the last five days and b) bothered to take it. This particular group leans slightly toward e.g. toppy Sam, or slightly toward switching, but when you look at raw numbers what you see is that at least one person LOVES every single one of these things, and at least one person fucking HATES every single one of these things, and so -- so what? Write what you want. If you see a niche of something that you love where you feel like not enough people are writing or reading, try to fill it. If you're worried "no one" will like it, well -- you're wrong. Someone will. It just needs to get seen by the right people.
That's where fandom comes in, to spread the love even if something isn't bulletproof for us -- reblogging a post to say, 'hey, my mutual made this thing, look at it!' What a joy it'd be if someone saw it and loved it to absolute shattering bits, and then found their little bulletproof community, and happiness was made. What's the point, if we're not making each other happy.
Thanks for participating if you did, and reading all this if you did. Here's a link to a google sheet (read only) with all the tables of raw data if you're interested. I'll post some of the more entertaining fill-in answers later.
s&d shipping survey results: November 1, 2023 - Google Sheets
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જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 Soft launching bf seunghan (insta)
(here's the soft launching seunghan since y'all voted for him<3)
@lovelyyn
liked by ilyyunjin, junnie, bamgyu, chaewonn, aeriii, and 487 others.
@lovelyyn: photo dump!!!
ilyyunjin: pretty girl<3
lovelyyn: thank you bae<3
aeriii: last pic??
lovelyyn: shhhh
bamgyu: why didn't you invite me to any of these
lovelyyn: why would I invite you
bamgyu: I'm your brotherr
lovelyyn: ok and?
@lovelyyn
liked by soobinszn, junnie, bamgyu, chaewonn, winterr, and 497 others.
@lovelyyn: ice cream date :)
junnie: •_•
lovelyyn: wtf
bamgyu: who is that??
lovelyyn: idk
soobinszn: not the dawgs
lovelyyn: lmaoo
@lovelyyn
liked by ilyyunjin, junnie, bamgyu, chaewonn, aeriii, and 600 others.
@lovelyyn: days with my boy<3
ilyyunjin: WOW your cheating on me
lovelyyn: NOO
bamgyu: I better meet this young man
lovelyyn: you sound like dad
aeriii: yn!!
lovelyyn: ;)
@lovelyyn
liked by soobinszn, seunghanzz, bamgyu, chaewonn, ilyyunjin, and 497 others.
@lovelyyn: passenger princess
ilyyunjin: do any of us know this man?
lovelyyn: maybe maybe not
soobinszn: OMG IKIK
lovelyyn: no you don't
soobinszn: you right
@lovelyyn
ilyyunjin replied to your story: WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR!
aeriii messaged you: YN WHO IS THIS MAN?
Chaewonn messaged you: set me up with his friends
ilyyunjin sent another reply: I'm gonna find him.
@lovelyyn
liked by ilyyunjin, aeriii, bamgyu, eunchaehong, rinaa, and 756 others.
@lovelyyn: beach date
ilyyunjin: where was my invite?
lovelyyn: sorry I'm with my boyfriend
ilyyunjin: who is he???
eunchaehong: wait a damn minute
lovelyyn: what?
rinaa: it's beautiful
lovelyyn: ik rightt
@seunghanzz
liked by songseok, tarotaro, ilyyunjin, chann, eunchaehong, lovelyyn and 790 others.
@seunghanzz: the beach
songseok: nice
seunghanzz: ik
tarotaro: another date with ykw
seunghanzz: yes
eunchaehong: OMG NO NO NOT MY FRIEND
seunghanzz: shut up
ilyyunjin: I found him @lovelyyn
lovelyn: •_-
@lovelyyn
liked by seunghanzz, ilyyunjin, aeriii, minji, eunchaehong, rinaa, and 756 others.
@lovelyyn: my handsome boyyy<3
ilyyunjin: you've been cheating on me!!
lovelyyn: sorry but look at him
eunchaehong: my brother really?
lovelyyn: I mean look at him
eunchaehong: ewwwww
aeriii: yn ahhh
@seunghanzz
liked by lovelyyn, songseok, tarotaro, sohee, chann, eunchaehong, and 790 others.
seunghanzz: finally get to show off my girl
lovelyyn: hi handsome<3
seunghanzz: hey pretty girl
eunchaehong: why my y/n
seunghanzz: she's mine not yours
tarotaro: congrats even though ik
@lovelyyn
liked by seunghanzz, eunchaehong, ilyyunjin, aeriii, rinaa and 987 others.
@lovelyyn: happy 1 year baby<3
seunghanzz: happy 1 year I love you
lovelyyn: I love you too<3
eunchaehong: my sister in law
lovelyyn: I'm literally blushing
ilyyunjin: y'all are so cute
lovelyyn: thank youuu
aeriii: yn yay I'm so happy for y'all
lovelyyn: thank you Aeri love ya!
bamgyu: I like your bf more than you
lovelyyn: and he likes me more that you bitch
bamgyu: anyways I'm glad he makes you happy
lovelyyn: thank you
I miss seunghan so much I'm glad we got to see a little something of him.
Credit to the person I seen do this if I find their page I'll tag them for credit.
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Austrian GP thoughts, sorry if I'm not very articulate 🤓 just rambled really not proofread cause I'm busy
Do I think the collison was Max's fault? Yes. Do I think that the contact was inevitable and BOTH of their faults? Also yes.
Max shouldn't have moved during the breaking but they were both driving aggressive. They both wanted to be first, they both know what's it's like to be first and they won't settle for second now. I think in Lando's case he seen that if he wants to be first he has to try harder? Or that you actually have to be "agressive" to get onto that top step.
Do I think Lando was being childish? Yes. And I'm saying this as a McLaren fan.
Though I also think that any sport where you're fighting for first is inherently a bit childish. Might just be because I have siblings and we always used to fight over first place as kids 🤷🏽♀️idk
That doesn't justify Lando's response. Even when you're upset and running on adrenaline, you should be able to be handle your emotions I think. (I know as humans it can be hard) but if you're on live tv being broadcasted to millions of people...you should have a better handle on you're emotions; even if you feel you've been wronged, because no one will listen to you if you are acting like that. If you're levelheaded about it people are more likely to listen,(woman experience this all the time.) He needs to work on that and on taking responsibility as well, because the blame isn't 100% on Max.
That's one thing I can say about Max, I wasn't here for the "Mad Max" era but from videos and word of mouth, I can tell he's matured a lot and you can definitely see it. Max had every reason to be upset after this race (but not really), he had a good lead against Lando until RB's slow pit stop and then he went from first to fifth and some might say that's not bad, he still got points, and etc. That's not the point - his race was still affected but he did not go on live tv and speak badly on his friend.
They need to - like Max said - cool down and speak about it afterwards. I personally don't think it is worth ending a friendship with someone I considered a good friend but maybe they see it differently idk. It's something they need to talk about before the next race. And if they believe that it was worth losing a friend over, especially when they know this is situations that happen in racing then....
And I've seen a lot of people mentioning Lando still wouldn't have been first, even with the 5 sec penalty, he would'v been second with George being over 10 secs behind, I can understand why he believed Max ruined his race.
Some of y'all have a very bad habit of taking things fans do out on the drivers. If the FANS keep voting him DOTD that has nothing to do with him, if you want others to win then yall might need to vote more ig 🤷🏽♀️ and the chanting on the podium is again rude and nasty behavior but that again has nothing to do with Lando, I can promise you even if he would speak out it will not change anything, people will do what they want and what they feel they are entitled to do. I've seen it happen in so many fandom spaces, some people just don't care. Lewis has told people not to hate George after last race and I can guarantee that there is still people that do.
Now I've also seen people talking about Lando's attitude, I agree on some things and disagree on others. And this isn't me being a "Lando crazy fangirl" trying to justify his actions but I'm just telling it how I see it. So if you disagree okay, but do not start shit with me okay? 🙃 cause I know y'all like to fight around here 🤥
I think Lando feels stuck in that wasted potential. Where people having saying for years you have the potential to be a champion and even with all the hardwork you do, it doesn't feel like it's being shown. And especially as someone who went so long without a first win. Everyone's saying McLaren made a mistake by re-signing you or that your teammate is more deserving of the first seat. You feel like you're letting people down: you're team, family, fans and yourself. Not to mention all the hate you've been getting for NOT winning, then you'll definitely be in a bad headspace. And now that's he's won and KNOWS he can win, he'll want it all the more. He has the fastest car on the grid right now, he IS a good driver (contrary to what some of you believe), and he is a bit more optimistic than last year. Now that first is within his grasp, he's been hungry to get a second one. And I think he's been a bit overconfident about it, but that's honestly all drivers, I think if you are upset about Lando's ego but not other like Ocon than you dislike Lando for other reasons and are just finding excuses now. Even more so knowing he is second in the championship standings. Now that you know you're capable of being first you wouldn't want to settle for second, just like Max. Max constantly talks about not being there for second place but many of the other drivers feel that way, Lando is clearly one of them.
Do I think Max should have just let him go by? no. Because this IS racing and if you want to be first and become a champion you have to work for it. Max has never been the kind of guy to just let you pass him, not even for a friend. So Lando needs to understand that if he wants to keep fighting Max in the future. If you want to prove everyone right or wrong, only YOU can do that and by being overly eager and dangerous, well it clearly doesn't work in your favor 😭 (sorry lando 🤧). Only thing is you do is improve yourself and I'm not surprised that Max is a champion when he is always driving be it racing or sim. If your competitor's are doing a 100% you need to be doing 200%, that's the only way to get to the top.
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Is It Over Now? [ZCL] fic teaser
Description: Your relationship with Chenle is nothing but fight after fight. Amidst the toxicity, infidelity comes into play--except you're determined to one up him...but is it ever truly over?
A/N: this is inspired by Taylor Swift's Is It Over Now? and I highly recommend listening to it because omg...but also...y'all voted for Jisung and this is what it was for so...................he is for real a willing accomplice that's so crazy chenji who
Genre: Smut/Angst (there is no smut in the teaser, the teaser contains an argument that can be triggering for some readers. PLEASE!!! Read with caution)
Content Warnings: This is very dirty idk y'all i'msosorry...but basically content warnings are infidelity (both reader & chenle, explicit on reader's part), some very crazy arguments (there are no physical fights but these can be triggering), explicit, unprotected sex, overall just a big, big crazy cluster fuck where these two are just trying to hurt each otherimsosorry
Expected Word Count: 10k
Release Date: 5pm EST 2023.3.2
Taglist: Open!! Please let me know if you want to be tagged when this comes out <3
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!Reader | Park Jisung x fem!Reader
Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)
Chenle downs the rest of whatever’s in his cup—it’s safe to assume what the bronze liquid is as he swallows and cringes. He doesn’t look at either of you.
“You should go.” Glancing at Jisung, you catch the worried gleam in his gaze.
“Will you be okay?” he asks.
“The fuck does that mean?” Chenle snaps. “Get the fuck out, Jisung.”
“Call me if you need me.” Jisung hesitantly leaves your side, and once the door closes behind him, you slide your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.
“Really?” Chenle finally breaks the silence. “You could’ve picked anyone, and you fuck Jisung?”
“That’s what you’re mad about?” You snort and walk over to the fridge to grab a water bottle. Untwisting the cap, you turn back to Chenle, unaccustomed to his glare being directed at you. “What? It’s okay for you to fuck anyone you want, but when I do it, it’s wrong?”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t fuck anyone but you.”
“You really think I didn’t see that?” You shake your head, anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “There were pictures, you dumbass. And now I can’t even act like I’m ignorant. I can’t act like you love me anymore, Chenle. Be serious right now.”
“Oh, right, because being seen with a girl has to mean I’m fucking her, yeah?” He runs his fingers through his hair. “You’re just insecure, (Y/N), and I can’t fucking help you with that. Did you think fucking Jisung would make me want you more? May as well add crazy to the list, too.”
Under different circumstances, you know those words would kill you. They’d be like bullets fragmenting in your heart, but today? For some reason, everything shut off. You don’t want him anymore, and your irritation sparks at the base of your spine.
“You putting this on me is fucking hilarious.” Your voice is sharp, and you hope you return his bullets as knives.
“We’re fucked.” He pours more liquor into his glass, a scowl on his face as he downs it. “Are you kidding me? I make a mistake one time, and you go out of your way to screw my friend? Did you think you could hurt me or something?”
“Don’t know.” You shrug.
“The sooner you admit we were over long before I ever slept with anyone else, the easier it’ll be for both of us. You’re being a child by inviting Jisung over here.” His grip on the counter tightens.
And just like that, something inside you snaps.
“You did this, Chenle. You fucked up, you ruined everything, you are a piece of shit.” You jab your finger in his direction. “At least I had the decency not to get caught in public. You don’t even care at all. Not even a little bit. And it’s so fucking frustrating because I do everything for you.”
“Bullshit,” he says.
“Was it over when you brought that girl here? Was it? Because you cried and begged for me to stay. You said it was a mistake, and you’d never be able to love anyone the same way you love me. You really think it was over, Chenle? Then what the fuck are you still doing here?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You fucking did it again!” you yell, hands tugging at your hair. “You want me to be the bad guy so bad, but all of this is on you. The blame is on you. You’re the one that can’t keep it in your pants. What are you searching all these beds for, huh? You want something better than me?”
“Fuck,” he shouts, hand swiping across the counter.
Time slows as his palm comes in contact with his glass, as he sends it flying into the cabinet, as it shatters beneath his force. How fucking ironic you relate to it.
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