#idk why they have to be this self-sufficient island of a character so hard to write bc of over effiency and unapproachable

[beartes22]

guys....we all know and like our gay pairings guys, but have you like...deleted women??? we have so few women characters where are they?? are they okay? are they like,,, not there to raise the EQ of the fic only???? can't they be silly and fools and superficial? can't they just mess around, be the clown in the group? can they be evil bc they are greedy or selfish? why is their obssesions creepy and not standard blorbo behaviour? why can they be bad at finding places, or be obssesed with make-up brands, or celebrities, or whine about a broke nail bc it hurts and its expensive, or just be silly and happy and not...idk burdened???

[beepsalotl]

crying ugh i love these characters so much and i hate the world so much except i dont and i just wish i could have what these characters had and be in a place that isnt like this one

im gonna cry ugh i dont know why i care so much, theyre not even real. but, like, in my head, they are, yknow? as in, they exist in the space i built for rhem as i read the series and learned about them and their world

fun fact, they were the first two characters whose books (each is the continuation of the story from a different third-person-limited perspective) had their names in the title. black hardcover w green embellishments for moonwatcher, a nightwing. white hardcover w blue for winter, an icewing. books six and seven, respectively. all the symbolism was there before you even open the goddamn books. yin and yang. AND YET.

and also they had two different histories and their tribes had a stale feud for thousands of years bc of some asshole jerkface. moon knew nothing about it bc she was raised in the rainforest practically by herself bc her mom had to sneak away from the shitty volcanic island the nightwings lived on to hide from the historic nightmare jerkface. winter knew all about it (or he THOUGHT he did bc he only knew the icewing side) bc he grew up surrounded by heirarchy and laws and rules and structure. moon didn’t grow up with the resentment at all, which allowed her a chance to see the truth.

she had to be self-sufficient. he had structure to lean on, even if it made him narrow-minded and nearly hard-hearted. he had to break through that, and she learned how to have patience. i feel like moon herself is sorely underdeveloped but i take the hints i can get and i feel that she learned how to forgive him by understanding who he was through his thoughts and, after skyfire, remembering that he was different inside than out and was still struggling.

when they were together, he was trying to be better and learn and he was kinder and softer even though he struggled to always be like that, and she was so patient with him.

heartbroken enraged screaming ensues, really.

like the rey and ben situation at the end of tros.

having him die in the end undermines everything the skywalker legacy stood for and all the development he had and it still breaks my heart bc he proved people can make bad, horrible choices and can survive abuse and break through it and change and be better and be loved. and then he DIED instead of getting his happy ending, which practically is what happened to winter bc the author basically said fuck you go live in the mountains doing work for peace and studying scavengers (which i know is his passion, but….) and your friends will hardly visit or write and they wont tell you the truth about how they defeated the bad guy WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR HELP EVEN THOUGH YOURE MORE THAN CAPABLE and they wont trust you and youll be alone forever.

my list of pairings and characters that i’m unreasonably heartbroken over:

ben and rey, winter and moon, catra and adora, draco and harry, zuko and katara.

catradora got together, ik, but their story still breaks my heart no matter how much hope it also gives me.

anyway, there’s no way for me to end this bc i dont even know what im feeling. it’s been years but winterwatcher’s fate still tears me up inside with the way it dashed my dreams of seeing a character like winter learn to let himself be loved.

i want to learn to let myself be loved, but i dont know how.

these characters are my attempts at finding myself out in the world and seeing if it’s possible. i dont attach my self-worth to them, but it hurts to see them fail to find romantic love where i saw it. idk

— a quick journal entry i wrote in my notes app years ago, as an emotional 16 year old with identity issues and way too much alone time on my hands

[aeipcthys]

╰ ❛   💉 — › samantha logan. cis-female. she/her.  ╯ have  you  met  victoria ‘vic’ dawson  yet  ?  this twenty six year old  aries  has  been  living  in the seattle  area  for  three years.  she  makes  a  living  as  media relations coordinator, which  is best suited for their adventurous,  independent,  reckless,  and resentful personality. someone to you by banners  is  one of  their  favorite  songs.

trigger warnings: depression, drugs, illness, cancer, death

full character page here

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: victoria rae dawson

Nickname(s): vic

Age: 26

Date of Birth: april 1, 1994

Hometown: tacoma, washington

Current Location: seattle, washington

Ethnicity: irish, trinidadian 

Nationality: american 

Gender: cisgender female

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Orientation: this is me we’re talking about what do you think

Status: single, dating

Religion: used to believe in god, has since abandoned religion

Political Affiliation: liberal

Occupation: a media relations coordinator in the pr department at seattle grace mercy west

Living Arrangements: shares an apartment with rebecca goldmann and stephanie edwards

Language(s) Spoken: english, american sign language

Accent: american

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: samantha logan

Hair Color: dark brown

Eye Color: dark brown

Height: 5'7

Weight: 127 lbs

Build: fit

Tattoos: yes, idk what they are yet but they’re there

Piercings: ears/cartilage, got a nose ring in college because she thought it would be rebellious but really it was just uncomfortable

Clothing Style: either looks really put together or is wearing leggings and a large tshirt there is no in between

Usual Expression: a furrowed brow

Distinguishing Characteristics: 

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: none.

Neurological Conditions: depression

Allergies: penicillin 

Sleeping Habits: wacky

Eating Habits: she’s a snacker of all things, she used to really hate vegetables, still kind of does 

Exercise Habits: she likes those fun workout classes, zumba or dancing or something, also rock climbing for some reason

Emotional Stability: once again, this is me we’re talking about what do you think

Sociability: a mostly friendly person 

Body Temperature: i never know what to say for this she’s like average

Addictions: none.

Drug Use: yes

Alcohol Use: oh yes

PERSONALITY

Label: tbd

Positive Traits: adventurous, independent, honest, driven, confident, supportive

Negative Traits: reckless, competitive, tactless, moody, messy, resentful

Fears: being stereotypical, missing out

Hobbies: rock climbing

Habits: smoking, tbd

FAVOURITES

Weather: warmth, sun, sunshine!!! why she leaves in seattle we can’t say

Colour: shades of green

Music: anything, loves some bops

Movies: action/adventure

Sport: for watching, wrestling or hockey 

Beverage: the teas - sweet tea, long island iced tea

Food: cuban

Animal: she likes raccoons, they’re really cute just misunderstood 

FAMILY

Father: marcus dawson

Mother: colleen dawson

Sibling(s): abigail hayes (neé dawson), cormac hayes (brother-in-law)

Children: none.

Pet(s): none.

Family’s Financial Status: middle class

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: aries (happy aries szn) 

MBTI: estj

Anything Else:

BIO

Victoria Dawson was born to Marcus and Colleen Dawson in Tacoma, Washington. She was the younger sister of Abigail Dawson (later known as Abigail Hayes). Abigail was about seven years older than Victoria, which set them up for an interesting relationship from the start. 

The girls’ parents had a great experience raising Abigail. She was easy-going, self-sufficient, kind, energetic, beautiful, and intelligent. She was everything you could hope for from a first child. The Dawsons thought Abigail deserved a sibling to go through life with, so they began trying for a second child. It took a few years, but eventually, along came Victoria, and she was far from what they bargained for. 

Growing up, Abigail was constantly looking over Victoria, being kinder and more accommodating than might be typical of a big sister. But Victoria needed it. From the beginning, Victoria had a clearly adventurous soul, and it made her parents and sister constantly fearful. 

Victoria was the type of kid to be at the playground and jump off the top of the slide instead of going down it. She would reach out to touch the flame on a candle just to see what it felt like. And that was the kind of spirit that drove her life. She always wanted to see what it felt like. It drove Abigail insane, and she constantly joked about wrapping Victoria up in bubble wrap and a helmet for the rest of her life. That probably would have done her some good. 

Although Victoria loved Abigail, she always wished Abigail didn’t always have to be so perfect. Everyone commented on it, including their parents. They would ask Vic ‘why don’t you try being more like your sister?’ Just once, she wanted Abigail to be the one to screw up or do something reckless, but that day never seemed to come. Even as they grew up and Abigail went off to school, she only seemed to climb higher and higher up on her pedestal. At least, through Vic’s eyes. 

It wasn’t until college that Vic really found the freedom she had always longed for. She specifically looked for a school far away from home, opting to attend University of North Carolina just to put some space between her and her overbearing family. Her freshman year, Vic really took that opportunity to try new things, which meant she was in and out of the student conduct office within her first year. But she just saw it as she always did--having fun, living a little, and trying new things. 

Her sophomore year, Vic decided to move off campus, putting up a random posting looking for a roommate. This is how she met Rebecca Goldmann. Although they were not exactly alike, Rebecca seemed to be the perfect fit to balance Victoria out a bit. They ended up becoming extremely close throughout college, despite the fact that they were clearly moving down completely different career paths. 

Throughout college, Abigail always made an effort to reach out and keep in touch with her sister, despite the fact that Victoria was extremely inconsistent in returning her calls and outreach. Abigail had been developing this entirely different life, falling and love with Cormac Hayes and having a couple of children. Vic wanted to be apart of their life more, and Abigail always kept the door open, but she always struggled with feeling like her “crazy little sister.” It wasn’t until she found out Abigail got sick that the floor dropped out from under her. 

Her sister’s illness hit Vic hard. Seeing the cancer slowly eat away at her made Victoria feel like it was eating away at her too. She was constantly angry, at Cormac, at the cancer, even at Abigail. It wasn’t fair, but she didn’t know how to process it. Even though there was resentment there, Victoria loved Abigail with all of her heart and soul. Abigail was her protector. Her guardian. Everything good about Victoria was because of Abigail’s influence. Losing her was the most devastated she had ever felt. 

The time after Abigail’s death was hard. Vic moved home, but even being around her family was difficult. Her parents were never the same. There was this huge whole in their lives, and it was one Victoria knew she could never fill. She also had a hard time looking at Cormac after. Being a doctor, Victoria always secretly wished that he would have saved her. That he could have protected Abigail from it all. But really, Victoria hated herself the most. When her nephews moved to Seattle with Cormac, Vic vowed that she would be a part of their lives, however hard it might be.

CURRENTLY 

Victoria has been in Seattle for years, but she only recently started working at the hospital, putting her media relations degree to good use. 

She is finding it very hard to accept that Cormac has already moved on with a new relationship. Finding out about their new baby certainly won’t be easy. 

If it wasn’t for being with her best friend, Vic would probably go crazy. Rebecca helps ground her and is always there when she needs to have some fun, cry, or blow off some steam. 

Despite what some might assume, Victoria has always been a bit of a romantic. Falling in love, after all, is the greatest adventure to her, and she is always searching for the right person to take it with.