#idk why i teared up watching the first few eps

[fujunfuren]

My heart.. it is awakened. I want it to reach from me to you.

The feeling I had back then…The feeling that kept growing…Someday I hope it reaches from me to you.

From Me to You: Kimi ni Todoke (2023) - E01: First Time Feelings

[todorroki]

i can't believe it's over wtf (Love Sea final ep thoughts)

its joever yall... it's not even hitting me that it's over because we still have the special ep to go but omg.... it's the end.

hats off to fortpeat. i love them so much i'm so sad that love sea is done (at least, the main story is). i had my gripes with parts of this story but in the end i was mainly here to see these two do what they love.

i believe mut mostly knew how tongrak would react to his confession. his dialogue to mook last episode proved deep down, he already knew the answer. the first few minutes of this episode showed his hesitation and reluctance, but his courage pushed through in the end. i think fort did amazing here. his pain from experiencing a rough rejection was so clearly on display. (and peat does that eye shifting thing with tongrak to show the beginning of panic.)

it's terrible yall. it was hard to watch. i do not like couple fights.

peat's hair here is good tho. omg i was focusing so hard on visuals because i didn't want the pain

big shoutout to vie in this ep. while she didn't spell out what rak should do, she basically held rak's hand through the whole ordeal.

mahasamut's last meeting with meena and kwan omg.. when he started crying realizing tongrak's meaning by the number 8.. how much more can my heart shatter lmao

and big ouch at palm's dialogue here. he meant it in a light way, but mahasamut really DID come back without his heart.

yo tongrak was so heartbroken he started dressing like his face twin from the other mame series.

AND ok like when tongrak chased after the trash car, at first i was feeling the pain and then i remembered how twitter clowned that running shot yesterday and i started LAUGHING oh my god!!!!! like i'm so sorry BUT I DON'T CLAIM THE FAULT FOR THIS everyone was saying he was running after the ice cream truck in the episode poster and i saw it in that moment!!!!!!!

back to regular business, this hits painfully hard actually.

tongrak's main fear being their "end" if they start a real relationship despite not even knowing if it'll come true. it's a very real fear people have (not just for romantic relationships), the mindset that "if it can end badly or if i can't succeed, why try anyways"

i love rak and vie's friendship in this show. dare i say it's way more fleshed out than the GL side plot they have going on. on that note, what even happened with the girls mame... how come they're just together. what HAPPENED.

but vie is The driving factor to pushing tongrak to follow mahasamut. she's so important to tongrak and i love it!

now, idk what was the call here for filming this part at night. it was kinda dark, but mut's pain was clear as day anyways. tongrak, in his own way, wanted to return mut's feelings, but because he couldn't SAY IT, mahasamut ends up misunderstanding his motives.

i really did tear up at rak's recorded confession though. my god i was kinda worried how that would come out, but peat's recording was well done. their confession on the beach was so cathartic to watch. LIKE FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!

and everything after was sooo sweet. fortpeat has the fluff DOWN as always.

but also omg the last scene with rak buying the house. absolutely love how at first he was excited, but then seeing mut's serious expression and realizing he should've said something omg.. the way he shrunk himself. and fort's face here oouughghg HELLO PEOPLE!!! GIVE HIM HIS SERIOUS ROLES ALREADY. I THINK THIS ENTIRE EP IS PROOF ENOUGH.

please i'm so serious he looked so hot in this scene.

BUT I CANNOT BELIEVE IT'S OVER LIKE IT'S /SRS NOT /J FOR REAL FR OVER WHAT

MY MUTRAK!!!!!!!!!! i know we have the special ep still but NOOO

i need fortpeat on screen... oh my god. please......... im at a loss. they love acting and i love watching them act.

[lurkingteapot]

Last Twilight ภาพนายไม่เคยลืม Ep 9

This episode was a LOT. I found myself thinking "wait, if this is episode nine, what's going to happen in episode 11?!" but then I thought, well, if we compare the structure of Last Twilight to Bad Buddy (which I invariably do because those are the two 12-ep-shows of P'Aof's that I've watched), this is the … hit a snag, get past it, hit a LARGER snag part of the story arc, isn't it. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Liveblog:

guys, can you not make a scene at someone else's wedding??

so Night, what, caused the accident?

did Day see something he shouldn't have?

okay this is … like. I see why Night would blame himself, and it's convenient for Day to blame Night, but. It's not Night's fault. It's like … sure, this might not have happened if Night hadn't had to throw up, but that doesn't mean it's Night's fault? When he got in that car, I honestly worried he might've drunkenly thought it'd be funny to hold Day's eyes closed or something, but this? Day, I know you were on a toll road or something, but even so I was yelling at my screen for you to pull over from the second Night made the first retchy noise. And for Day to resent him for getting out of it with his sight intact and with, y'know, character growth? that's … unfortunately realistic but also. Oh Day. Oh Night. Boys.

OH wow so Day has that much insight at least?

he said เด็กเดียว there, right?? gotta rewatch and check

wow Day WOW you've got some things to work through here

the "sorry" bit is food for a LOT of "ways in which siajai and sorry aren't identical" commentary and I once again salute GMM's translation team

OHHH good job apologising

oh so she didn't start out rich and famous? sorry for misjudging, P'Mon

love these not-so-subtle "travel to southern Thailand, we have great food" plugs here

oh not AGAIN with the product placement

the way Day looks, I bet this smells the same

a museum?

an ARTIST so that's why the hair?

Day, you're an ass, you realise right?

I mean it does sorta feel like he's just hanging on to all the resentment towards Night so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that it was random and could've happened in a million different ways?

ahaha see! Long hair = artist!

oh I love the angle they shot this from here

is Pla teaching Mawk to make southern food??

is Mawk gonna move on to actually being a chef, too? is there anything he can't do? (for real though I love that Mawk is getting to see that there's options for him)

are they both gonna move South in the end?

you can SEE him thinking about whether to ask if there'll be a next time

HAH

… so much for three months, huh

I love the touristy stuff in these few eps

the music is creepy af

OH

random white guy a named David

phuak-you GOD I love neopronouns

Cherry Guest, huh

adfasdfads the MANY FIRSTS convo, what a BBS ep 11 parallel (sobbing)

there we gooooo

you're so far apart, boys, c'mon

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT

(I have many thoughts on the way they set up this scene in regards to Day's agency, none of them coherent, and just. Good job folks.)

I LOVE them oh they're cute

Mawk already trying to start something again 😂

I love how they keep making a point in how there's no knowing the ending before it ends

kinda re: point a few minutes back, but it's wonderful how Mawk has … idk, Mawk has seen he has talents and OPTIONS (which is something I don't feel like he really ever felt he had) which allow him to risk his current job in order to take Day to see the last twilight on Mt Khuha

Mawk is so annoyed by the weather's non-cooperation, I love him so much

honestly I love the view as is, but I also get Mawk's disappointment/upset

oh I love this

it feels very final episode-y though which WORRIES me

is he gonna bring this back to not having seen Mawk's body-- yeah

"last picture" that's a theme song call back

oh Mawk, so touched, huh

ilu Jimmy but you're still not the best at pretending to cry, though I guess the smiling through tears is pretty close

annnd that's it, his sight has gone, huh

I know the blocking probably is done for ~reasons but I still wish they'd moved closer to each other here

oh no, the preview REALLY worries me

I'm so glad my hunch that Night didn't actually actively do anything to make Day resent him that much played out as correct. Now for shit to hit the fan next week when their mum gets involved.

[goodstuffexe]

Ughhhh I wish the Atla adaptation had more episodes, such a waste damn. Am currently at episode five and baffled at how many episode plots and characters they crammed into 3 & 4. This show and Hazbin Hotel badly needed more than 8, such a hustle. I get that the original had literally 20 episodes in season one and did meander a bit at times but especially Aang needed the development and it just added to the vibe of the show. They gave the time and moments these characters needed to progress and come into their arcs. I like what moments Sokka and Katara get and I also think the relationship between Iroh and Zuko is well done for the most part but Aang is lacking imo, something just feels kinda off about the kid and idk if it is the acting (tho no hate to Gordon Cormier, there are definitely also moments where he captures Aangs character really well) the dialog or the feared lack of Aangs positivity, or maybe all things combined. But I am still not done with the season so, let's keep watching.

spoilers for ep 5 below the cut

Also I am no fan of Sokka and Katara just roaming through the Spirit World with Aang, doesn't that undermine his connection to the spirit world as the avatar!?

So WHY was Wan Shi Tong there in a random forest lol. They spoiled the most creepy spirit in the whole show. Big nono

I rly like Azula's scenes they set her personality and mindset up well in the few moments she has with Ozai. I heard the last few episodes are better structured, so am excited for them

Also here is my live reaction to the rest of the episode haha:

- WOOW Hei Bai looks frikkin cool damn, I am actually pleasantly surprised with the animation.

- Omg the scenes with Katara and Sokka and their parents?!! My poor babies🥺 I might have shed a tear when I saw Sokka cry :')

- They showed the face stealer spirit too? (Cannot remember da name sorry) Damnnn that is kinda cringe, did they just trash the whole 'show emotions and I will take your face'-thing?

- WHY IS GYATSO THERE HUH and he is no illusion what

- Soo he's gonna make the drive-by to the Fire Nation by glider now? Lol

- Ooooh it's the transition to the masked spirit episode with Zhao okay I get it

-Ayayay they did mangle some past avatar stuff around, why was the reason for Aang to go to the Fire Temple and speak with Roku not adapted? He is such an important character as early as this. I bet he gets the info about the comet anyway lol (or maybe not and they really removed any trace of it in the first season like some stated in interviews)

I mean it's not that hard to shove the comet back a few years/months like they said they would, because the actors are gonna age with the show and STILL have Roku be the one who tells Aang now, right. Right?

Anyway my thoughts are all over the place, I will see tomorrow yaay

[aalissy]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Tysm for the tag @bengaltiger25 !

1. Are you named after anyone?

Kinda yeah! My real name is Alyssa but the name most people call me is Lissy. My mom had a best friend in high school named Missy and she thought that the name was super cute so Lissy was born haha.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oof, not entirely sure. Probs bc of a movie or tv show tho tbh. Honestly, the last miraculous ep where Félix and Kagami were explaining his childhood and how awful his father was had me def tearing up!

3. Do you have kids?

Not at the moment haha. I’m a lilllll too young for kids rn. I do want them eventually tho :).

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, not at all 🙄. Honestly, tho I use sarcasm probably tooooo much 🫣. To the point where sometimes people don’t know I’m not being serious lmaooo.

5. What sports do you play/have played?

Uh, yeah, not a sports girly. I’ve never played a sport in my life and have never had any desire too. Nor do I watch any sports lmaooo. The closest I’ve come to sports is reading quite a fair few sports romances bc I loveeee them lmaooo.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

Probably their hair. Idk why. I guess I just like looking at people’s hair. Does that seem weird? Lmaoooo, probably 🤭

7. What’s your eye color?

They’re kinda a mix between brown and green tbh. Somedays they’re more green and somedays they’re more brown. It depends on what I’m wearing :).

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings >>>>>. That’s not to say I don’t loveeeee scary movies. Bc omg I love jumping and getting scared and then laughing but I def prefer a happy ending. Scary movies that have happy endings are the best lmaooo

9. Any special talents?

Uhhh, I can recite all 50 US states in under a minute. Does that count as a special talent? It’s from a song I learned in elementary school that I suppose just never went away lololol.

10. Where were you born?

Chi-Town! Ye oldeeeee Windy City, how I adore you <3

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, playing video games, and coding are a few of my biggest hobbies. Can I also count watching YouTube videos as a hobby? Cause I swear I spend most of my time there lmaooo

12. Do you have pets?

Yes! I have a tiny lil Morkie named Lulu. She’s 8 years old now and I love her soooo sooo much <3!

13. How tall are you?

Uhhh, between 5′5 and 5′6 tbh. I’m a shrimp bc both of my parents are supperrrrr talll smh. Wish I was taller 😅

14. Favorite subject in school?

English, if you couldn’t tell hahah. I’ve alwayssss loved reading and writing so English was always my strongest subject :).

15. Dream job?

Working in tech! Which, thankfully, is something that I get to do right now! It’s been superrrr fun for me to learn different languages and then take those skills and apply them to projects hehee.

Thanks again for the tag! I’m tagging @rosabud1250 @crescent14 @wehadabondingmoment @dammithawke @lady-de-mon-coeur @therob28 @julysky712 @ladyofthenoodle @team-leo-v @anxietyinthedrivethru @dawn-the-rithmatist @fleur-de-jasmin-fdj @princesscrybabytears @that-starbucks-lover @giuliafc if any of you guys would want to do this 😊!

[cascaria]

@alicearmageddon 15 question tagged me and im bored so whagever why not teehee teehee

Named after anyone? not a person, but there's this manga (and anime but I've only seen a few eps of that so far) called Aria that heavily influenced certain parts of my personality and embodies the worldview and outlook I want to have so when i was name shopping and saw Aria was a name ppl had it felt like fate. plus I just like the name a lot i think its pretty.

Have any kids? god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no god no

Use sarcasm a lot? kinda. usually as like part of a joke or something like that. i usually try and make it as obvious as possible when i am being sarcastic but sometimes people just don't catch on so maybe i should do it less idk.

Last time cried? if u count just tearing up and not like full on sobbing, yesterday. I was re-watching season 3 of the monument mythos and the ending gets to me. probably sounds very strange to be crying at the end of a season of a yt horror series but trust me it a heart string puller ok im normal ok shut uppppp

First thing about others noticed? uhhh idk probably the face? i dont meet new people often and im not as observant as id like to be.

Eye color? like a grayish blue or a blueish gray ig

Sport you play or have played? i dont sport. if its just a group im in hanging out and playing something casually im down but im woefully uncompetetive and unathletic so sports have always held zero appeal to me

Any special talents? ehh not really. my abilities at anything never really go beyond Adequate if that. i can do that thing where you roll the sides of your tongue up and make it a tube if that counts.

Where were you born? nice try

Scary movies or happy ending? happy ending ez. i like scary movies but i have to be in the right mood and I almost exclusively watch them in october.

Any pets? no but i want a cat so so so so so so so so so bad

How tall? i forgor. somewhere around 5'6" or so

Favorite school subject? im literally a drop out. i loved "science" as a kid when it was just learning fun facts about animals tho.

Hobbies? the usual media experiencing stuff (movies, tv shows, video games, music etc.) writing, playing guitar, cooking, used to love biking but i can't really anymore :(, recently i've gotten into the homemade desert realm and plan on goin gaga with that, uhh painting and coloring kinda

Dream job? housewife. i wasn't built for breadwinnin

I wont pass it on cause i dont feel like it but thx for the tag ig teeheehee

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

So I was looking for tags on the cdrama "The Mermaid's Pearl" but could not find one. I wonder why is that?

Admittedly, this one is not on par with most dramas I watch. The rating on the internet is also low. I think I know why.

But if you're looking for cuteness and fluff with scenes that make you smile like hot chocolate and if you don't care much about actresses crying without tears (aka not so great acting) and bad directing skills and cuts, this could be just it.

On to how I found this. So I was looking for a quick cdrama to binge. When too tired afterwork, I have this guilty pleasure of reading through plots, watching the first few eps. Then when I get the gist, I'll leisurely fast forward or move eps looking for cute or fun scenes. You know, like living leisurely through the characters (for the sake of feeling things and pretending you got a life outside work and home).

Plot wise, tbh, I skipped a lot on this one. The plot itself is pretty simple. Mermaid girl (FL) left water to look for her kidnapped father. The ML is a rich young man who is known as a detective. He is also sick and they believe finding a mermaid will help cure him. She agreed because he has a lot of food (being rich and all) and he also might be able to help her find her dad.

Suspecting she's a mermaid (kinda hard not to) when she literally threw her pearls at him when they first met, he decided to keep her by his side.

So murder mysteries happen along the way and the guy has a fangirl/fiancee who wants to marry him. The emperor is also looking for a way to live abnormally long and orders people to go on expeditions to look for mermaids to aid that quest.

That is basically the whole gist of it.

Cuteness wise, can I just say I love and adore how the ML cares for the FL? Like, she's like a fluffy bunny and he's the master who takes care of her. They are so cute together and he also is sensitive to his own feelings so there's not much waiting. Their scenes make me laugh and just smile, thinking I want to be loved the way he loves her. : ) 🩷 Plus, it's comedy XD

At first he was telling her to stay away from him because she has no boundaries. But all too soon, he just came to accept how trusting and comfortable she is with him. He also gets jealous easily lol.

In this scene for instance, she literally just fell asleep using his hand as a pillow (like a cat) and he lets her. #Fluff

Acting wise, the ML actor, Shi An, is actually pretty good. It's just that the cuts and the scenes they were acting in are really like you're watching students' made film where quality is not the focus. So tbh, I blame the director and writer and producers more than the actors. Or maybe, that is indeed their goal? Idk. If it is then they succeeded.

Watch it if you dare, but as I said, a lot of things about it are pretty crappy. So don't expect too much.

But bottomline, I still very much enjoyed the very short cute fluff scenes between the ML and FL. :) I even replay them (just the cute scenes) when I need a pick-me-up. So it isn't so bad. At least not for me.

[strangerthings4theories]

I just finished watching s4 and THANK GOD I found your blog bc I’ve never been so frustrated by a character as much as Billy in s4.

Without thinking about it or really liking his character, it was clear something was off. The way they handled him after his death… idk how to describe it, it’s not the same as Barb or Bob. Something’s off.

He is omnipresent for Max´s character for half of the season. You see max, there is 70% chance she thinks about or mentioned Billy. If you forgot about him, there are at least 2 flashbacks showing his death in s3. I know it’s for Max’s trauma, but still, you feel his presence.

Then The dialogue. The words Max used in her letter. A lot of, « can you hear me » « I hope we can try again » « I really hope you can hear me, 2 years ago I thought it was impossible but now i’m not so sure » idk usually that kind of dialogue doesn’t come up for a dead dead dead character. The hope for a futur, when max says she wants them to be better siblings. It’s cinema, words have meaning. At the end of episode 5, I wanted one thing : bring Billy back so he could reunite with max. And I was not a fan of Billy, it’s watching the episode that made me think that. So why would the writer go that direction if nothing is planned later on for Billy ? Bc if that is it for his character, if « Dear Billy » was it, oh boy im gonna be disappointed (kinda scared cause he is not mentioned after this ep…)

Otherwise, two scenes really did it for me. First Max saying « ok i hear you » then the television scene with a certain Billy asking for a favor. Second, the tear Billy shed when saying to Max «  you sometimes wish to follow me (into death) ». Mimicking the tear in s3 when he talks to eleven. That tear has one goal, to show he is still here deep down. None of Vecna’s vision characters did that. None. Why would Billy do that ? At that moment ? He could’ve cried saying « you were happy I was dead » that would’ve tortured max. But he shed a tear talking about her suicidal thoughts. The only thing you can understand from this is that Billy feels bad his sister has those thoughts. And that can only be true if Billy is STILL THERE. No point for Vecna to make him cry at that moment.

And I’d like to note as well that i also found it weird Billy didn’t turned « zombie » at the end of the vision, like the characters in the other visions we saw. But Dacre filming in Australia could explain this (hard to apply that much prosthetic idk). Anyway, Billy’s vision was wayyy different from other Vecna’s visions, and I don’t think it was random.

More on that vision, the fact that max reaches Vecna’s sanctuary(?) just after seeing Billy is weird too. Max says « idk if he expected me here, idk if he wanted me here ». So how did Max, a normal human being without any powers, tricked Vecna and accessed his mind ? May not be related to Billy but I hope this will be addressed. (If not already, I only watched it one time)

Again, more on that vision. It looks like Max is in the UD when she sees Billy. For the first girl, it was her home, then the journalist boy, the road of the accident + the cemetery. Another place, but familiar environnement. For max it’s same place, just dark and cold, like the UD (when I first watched I understood it was the UD). So again weird.

I won’t go as far as to speculate Billy helped max reaching Vecna’s mind bc Billy doesn’t have that kind of power but still, it’s weiiird. Lol

I don’t have some detailed theory on how he is alive or if he’ll return, just that, from a basic viewer point of view, the way they handled him in s4 is really sketchy and I was wondering if other people thought it too (it’s when i found your blog lol). Idk, for me, when a character I like dies (like bob) I’m happy with a few scene that honors him, but not too much. I want to move on. Idk if they only gave him such place to fit with Max’s trauma and her link to Vecna but if it was only for that I’m going to be disappointed 😕

I really like your observations here. I don't have much to add, other than to agree that YES, the way they handled Billy is extremely suspicious. By this point, I 100% believe he's making a big comeback in Vol 2. (David Harbour's recent IG posts only reinforce my belief lol. "You're not ready for this," he says. OH BELIEVE ME DAVID I'M MORE THAN READY.)

I do want to address a point you made tho. You said, "I won't go so far as to speculate Billy helped Max reach Vecna's mind bc Billy doesn't have that kind of power..."

He didn't have that power. Past tense. But that can change. I suspect we're going to find out El didn't just lose her powers randomly. Billy has them now, somehow.

That said, I don't necessarily believe he helped Max enter Vecna's mind. I'm not sure how that's going to be explained. But the whole thing is eeriely reminiscent of El walking through Billy's mind in S2. The center of Vecna's mind is even colored red like Billy's was (though it's far more sinister otherwise).

El, Billy, and Vecna are all connected.

[matuk-art]

I have a lot of thoughts about s3, good or bad, but one thing I think the writers kinda missed was the emotions the characters should have in some of these situations... I mean, I know the Hargreeves family is quite dysfunctional and it was like this since s1 (for example, the way the siblings reacted to Five's reappearance and the fact that he lived in the apocalypse for so long, or how they reacted to the fact that klaus was basically tortured and fought in Vietnam) but after the last two seasons, you can't tell me that Diego would react like this at seeing his brother Klaus dead, I mean okay maybe he didn't want to freak out the kid and kept it together but still !! Remember how he reacted to Eudora's death!!! At least he seemed relieved and teared up when he came back to life in the elevator

Even the way they reacted to Luther and Klaus dying after was odd, especially Five's reaction, I mean this man basically survived hell and back for so long to save his siblings, not even once but three times even when he was himself dying in the barn, and he should have been devastated, okay I know he was already ready to die with all of his siblings at this point, so dying a few minutes before maybe didn't matter to him, but still he literally has the power to rewind time, he could have save them anyways. Like it can be "somehow" explained why he didn't save Luther as they were already going to die, but as soon as they got into hotel oblivion where they could maybe survive and Klaus didn't follow it was weird that he didn't do it. I mean he was already suspicious of Reginald, even more after he came out of the door without Klaus, rewinding time could have give him proof and expose his whole plan. Ok, he can for now only rewind time for a few seconds/minutes but he could have at least turn back time to save klaus and idk when he found out about Luther's death but I mean Lila was with them and she could have help Five rewind time farther maybe idk. Honestly I feel like they completely forgot about this power for plot convenience but it wasn't done in the best way... In a logical way, he could have also turn back time before Reggie rang the bell in the hotel oblivion or even before he got his arm cutted off. (Not in an ableist way but bc he was badly hurt and losing tons of blood without medical assistance available, but again if he was dying soon anyways he maybe didn't care about that...) Like I'm sad that they barely used their powers this season, after the progress Five made last season, it should have been exploited more ! We also got a whole arc with Klaus fighting his fear and gaining better control of his powers only for the build up to have no repercussions, he didn't really used them apart from his immortality. It was disappointing especially with the fact that they lost their powers at the ending. (I honestly wonder if the ending is in some kind of simulation and they will gain back their originals bodies later) Also showing the importance of their powers and them mastering them even more could have increased the impact and the whiplash of losing them

Speaking of Five, I think he deserved his mental breakdown after this scene at the commission because ouch poor guy, all the implications of it killed me inside tbh. (I honestly have a whole doc in my notes app with my thought about Five in s3) And also I can't imagine what giving up and seeing the whole city in fire like in the apocalypse must have felt for him

Also I think THIS scene of ep 5 should not have been in the show, and again the way Luther reacted after was definitely weird, like he brushed off Allison's apology....I won't even talk about the whole Allison arc tbh

Like idk it's only a few examples, and there probably more moments where I felt like their reactions to events or actions were maybe not the most adequate, at first I kinda brushed it off but the more I was watching the more I had this feeling of oddness, and I don't know if its just me or not but well. I'm actually rewatching the season, maybe it's just a first impression kind of thing and would have a different opinion after, idk... To be clear, I don't think that people must react in one particular way to events, of course not, but after watching all seasons, and knowing the characters some things seemed a bit uncanny to me, but it's only my personal interpretation of course

I totally agree. It’s not just you. They acted strangely cold at certain very decisive moments, especially the deaths. When Diego's alleged son disappears and they just went: "oops".wtf . Sometimes I wondered who that group of psychopaths were.

I’m so… outraged. The story revolved around them becoming better people through their connection; a closer, warmer, sane family, and as the story progressed, it seemed quite the opposite. I honestly don't understand that ending, and I'm not talking about the convoluted and bizarre plot, I'm talking about the emotional weight, it contradicts everything we've known about them, and it betrays the natural progression and drive and heart of what I liked about the umbrellas in the first place. that they will be together no matter what happens, that they care deeply about each other, and that they are stronger that way. I'd rather they had died together than go their separate ways at the last moment. I mean, not even a hug? after everything they've been through :( wtf

As for underusing of five’s power, man, there are so many plot holes I don't even know where to start or what to tell you. There are a lot of incredibly lazy and dumb decisions. That shocked me, because especially in s2, they always had clever, organic twists and elegant solutions.

You are so brave wanting to watch it again. I feel so betrayed and confused and consumed. I just can’t.

[shinjaeha]

bad buddy ep 10 (thoughts)

ep 10 completely wiped me out for a good few days. in the same way that ep 5 left me in a distracted daze the whole week, ep 10 kicked me in the chest at full force and i’m still reeling from the impact of it all.

phenomenal. idk how this show keeps exceeding my expectations, but somehow it keeps doing it. i thought ep 5 was going to remain my fave ep of this show forever bc of how much emotional it made me, but then ep 10 happened and made me feel emotions i didn’t even know i could FEEL and it just up and knocked the breath (and tears) right out of me.

anyway, i’m just SO GLAD that they postponed this ep bc i would have for sure spent new year’s crying my eyes out so that was a good move on gmmtv’s part for sure 😭

so in the excitement of the new ep, i almost forgot that we left off on pat’s parents seeing pran exiting his room and ngl...the way he got all flustered and left the scene to avoid confronting them is absolutely something i would have done as well. it would almost have been funny if my poor heart wasn’t beating so fast for him.

i love that pat’s gun excuse wasn’t even a lie (though a half truth, i guess, but understandable). kind of telling that his dad’s first question after seeing his son who was just SHOT wasn’t about his wellbeing but to ask why pran was there...talk about red flags...

i have such different feelings about his dad’s apology rewatching this than upon my first watch. the first time, i really thought that maybe his dad wouldn’t be that hard to win over after all...now i realise that it says a lot that pat told pran he’s never seen his dad like that before in his entire life. poor boy was SO excited :( only for the image of his father to be ripped to shreds at the end of the ep.

i like their conversation by the bins bc it really highlights how different their personalities are. pat, ever positive and idealistic about the rift between their families potentially being mended through this incident. pran, more negative and realistic about their situation. the characterisations are so consistent and have stayed the same since the start (look at the difference in their reactions after the rooftop kiss).

love that pat basically just lives at pran’s dorm now :’)

SO. LET ME TALK ABOUT WHY STAIRWAY ‘PROPOSAL’/CONFESSION SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME.

we get scenes like this in het rom coms ALL THE TIME, so it’s just so lovely and heartwarming to see this adorable, cheesy, public confession between two boys be such a normalised thing?? like to have the entire architecture crowd just cheering them on????? i am, and always will be, a hopeless romantic so i loved every single thing about this.

i specifically love that it was orchestrated by pran and his friends (and his mentor?? that guy was so drunk i thought he was gonna fall down the stairs omg). this was pran’s way of showing pat how much he loved him. even if he technically wasn’t the one that was declaring his love publicly like pat, he set the whole plan into motion bc he KNEW that this was what pat always wanted. for their relationship to be out in the open, no more hiding, no more sneaking around their friends and faculties. he gave pat the chance to express his feelings in a forum much more public than instagram...to announce to the world (or to pran’s faculty at least), that he’s taken like he said he wanted in ep 8.

and that in itself is a gesture on pran’s part too, since it proves how he's all in for pat now as well. he’s completely okay with their relationship being out in the open (aside from their parents for obvious reasons), and even encourages pat to confess to him. it lays the groundwork for the latter half of the ep bc this scene really solidifies their relationship officially. to me, it shows that they’ll be able to weather through whatever storm that comes their way together.

something else that makes me happy about this scene is that this is the both of them actually being vocal and public about their relationship on their own terms. they were outed against their will the first time, but now it’s all them. THEIR the ones choosing to turn this into a public declaration of their love for one another. i especially love that, like everything else, pran turns pat’s love declaration into a challenge for him, and as always, pat is up to the task.

pran changing his password to ‘praninlove’ he’s such a hidden SAP and i love it :’))) and pat saying pran likes origami is such a cute detail bc it brings me back to ep 2 during the secret admirer arc when pran folded the little origami crane for pat (even though he didn’t know it was pat back then). that’s so adorable.

everything pat mentions is something we already know about pran, and that makes me feel like i’m in love with him too 😂

i also really like that this is basically their big romeo and juliet balcony scene, but it’s not just pat walking up there to meet pran at the top (like how romeo climbs up the balcony to meet juliet in most stage/film adaptations). it’s pat ascending the stairs as pran descends them so the two of them meet halfway. always as equals. bad buddy shows us this time and time again. how the two of them are never too stubborn to give in/let the other ‘win’...they’re always making compromises for one another and meeting each other halfway (like how they literally meet each other in the middle of the stairway).

they’ve fist bumped at every stage of their relationship now. it’s been their thing since the beginning 😭

it’s not that i wasn’t expecting waikorn...but i also wasn’t really expecting it, if you know what i mean?? 😂 it was nice to see them share in on the product placement scenes too haha. and at least now we know that everything is fully reconciled with their friends. they won’t be holding them back anymore (and, if anything, i hope they’ll be there to support them when they need it most).

how much do i love that pat didn’t go down the stereotypical protective/possessive older brother route when wai asked if he could hit on his sister. he basically just told him that it was all her decision...and that he could shoot his shot if he wanted, but he had competition. it’s the bare minimum, but it’s so nice to see an older brother actually respect his sister and her decisions in her own love life for once.

speaking of paa’s love life, ink buying her a not so anonymous cake and making paa question her feelings!! THEY’RE HONESTLY THE CUTEST AND I LOVE THEM IN EVERY WAY.

chai coming with the tea (pun intended)!!!!!!! no, but fr i’m so glad that they could reveal their relationship to an adult who already knows about the feud between both their families, and who actually accepts their relationship, encourages them, and tells them that one day things will get better (my fave kind of foreshadowing). i also love that chai caught onto them pretty much right away when he’s only ever seen them interact together like three times. literally no one else that was around them ever figured our their relationship (aside from maybe ink).

i def knew that the animosity between their parents had to do with more than just the business, but i wasn’t expecting everything about the business to be a lie that they were keeping up.

i can’t believe i really got the paa asking pat for advice on her love life bonding scene i’ve been craving this whole time :’) and then pat just spinning her own love guru advice back onto her. their relationship is the absolute sweetest!!

inkpaa picnic/photography lesson date!!!!!!!!!! paa using her first two signs to test whether ink feels anything and getting virtually no response other than confirming to herself that SHE likes ink though 😭 esp when wai comes onto the scene and she can see him react (very expressively) to the first two signs, but she’s not feeling the same way AT ALL. all that does is make her compare how she feels for the two of them and solidify her feelings for ink once again.

okay but i laughed so hard at ink’s reaction the entire time wai was there. she was SO fed up with him omg. the way she literally only said bye to pran when they were leaving, and the final glare she shot wai (and his reaction to it)?? comedy gold.

at least wai was perceptive enough to pick up on it and give up on paa though!! i almost felt bad for him (and that’s on jimmy’s utter adorableness tbh).

ink finally showing the third sign without paa being the one to prompt her (thanks wai)!!!!! i don’t think you understand how i SCREAMED when ink asked paa if she was dating anyone and paa responded that she had someone she liked!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so in love with them!!!!!!!!!

i think most of us called that whatever their feud was about, it was always between pat’s dad and pran’s mum...so it wasn’t really a shock that they both went to the same high school together (i knew they had to have some deep rooted history to have such animosity for one another).

i do think it’s nice seeing pat and pran do all their detective work together though. they’re so cute.

seeing them back at their old high school to find out more about their parents made me so excited bc i LOVE their high school flashback scenes. pran grinning with those dimples as he watched pat get punished?? and then not denying it when pat teased him about how he’d just confessed that he’s been looking at him like that since high school?? they have the strongest hold over my heart.

pat carrying pran’s bag JUST BOYFRIEND THINGS.

anyway, i just love seeing them be so out in the open about their love now. and having pat joke with their old teacher about how they’re a couple now. it’s the happiness they deserve :’)

not the my school president boys covering patpran’s song!!!!! so they really left a legacy at this school, huh.

pran was trying so hard to avoid even holding the guitar bc he knew it would make him want to start playing again...it makes me so sad that he has to suppress this part of himself and keep saying he’s quit (when he clearly LOVES playing the guitar) bc his mum doesn’t want him playing it :( but he played the song he was writing for pat bc pat asked him too and he really just loves him that much ;;;

i love how pat’s been encouraging pran's guitar playing since high school too bc he knows it’s something that truly makes pran happy (and brought them together).

idk this scene is just so BEAUTIFUL. pran singing the love song he wrote specifically for pat directly to him...pat getting to listen to the love of his life serenade him with a song meant only for him...and all of this happening in their old school, on the stage where they were initially torn apart. the softness and love in the expressions of their face as they gaze at one another. now this...THIS is romance. this is love in its purest form. they had bad memories the last time they saw each other at this school, but now they get to create a new memory. a good one.

i’m gonna need gmmtv to drop the full version of this song asap, but i don’t think it’ll happen until we see pran perform it in full on the show (prob in ep 12)...

that flashback of pat running after pran to give him his guitar only for it to be too late...and then he kept his guitar for YEARS on the off chance he’d be able to give it back to him 😭 and, in the end, he DID. i will never not be choked up about this.

it’s interesting to me that their teacher knew so much more about pat’s dad than she did about pran’s mum. i wonder if he had more sway bc of his status (since she mentioned that he was head of the class and basically participated in every school event), and that’s why he was more easily believed when he said that pran’s mum didn’t want the scholarship...

absolutely LOVE the noodle shop scene with pat and paa. it’s so sweet?? the fact that they fight one another on who gets to talk first instead of the usual “you go first” is SUCH sibling behaviour. and pat always gives in to his little sister :’)

you can tell that paa is more nervous about telling pat that it’s ink that she likes than that it’s a girl (which makes sense since pat likes a boy, so of course he would be accepting of paa liking a girl). the way they're constantly confiding in one another is so lovely to see. i don’t think i’ve seen that many sibling relationships in media that are this open and supportive (and it reminds me a lot of my own relationship with my brother, so their scenes always have a special place in my heart).

it’s nice that paa checked in with pat first to make sure he was okay with her liking ink (since pat liked her originally). even though pat’s feelings for ink never ran that deep, i still think it was a really respectful thing to do. i love that he was the first person she told too. this show gives us some of the best, healthiest relationships (barring their parents).

paa is legit sooooooooo adorable. the complete heart eyes she has for ink now????? she looks at her with so much adoration. like she’s just glowing in ink’s presence and it’s actually the cutest thing in the whole world.

THE DARK ROOM SCENE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want this scene tattooed onto the backs of my eyelids so i can watch it forever. i love everything about it.

paa not being able to take her eyes away from ink, and then looking on the verge of tears the entire time she thought ink was only being nice to her bc she was her peer mentor (i cannot praise love enough for her acting in this scene!! she just about broke my heart with how sad paa was).

“i like it so much that i thought i was special to you” and “it’s my fault to think of you as more than just a peer mentor” i knew that ink would step up, but even still, I WAS ABOUT TO CRY. i don’t ever want to see paa sad :((((((((((

what i love so much about pat and paa is that they’re both so honest in everything they say and do. when they feel something for someone, they can’t keep it in. they need to act upon it, or say it out loud, immediately. that gene is so strong in the both of them (and they didn’t get it from their dad, that’s for sure...).

when ink said that she had to fight the whole faculty in order to get paa as her peer mentee, my heart LEAPED. also, seeing how she shoos every boy in her path (esp wai) away, i 100000% believe her. idk how anyone would have the guts to fight ink 😂 AND THEN CONFESSING THAT SHE’S LIKED HER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL (even back before paa had her uni ‘glow up’). the first time i watched this, i could barely believe it was happening. like i thought they were happening from the get go bc of all the hints, but to have it actually confirmed fr is an entirely different feeling than just knowing but not being completely certain.

“Someone with the smiles I want to keep to myself only”. i would crumble into a million pieces if anyone confessed to me irl like this. it is legit my ideal confession. a relationship literally developing in a dark room with the perfect amount of cute and heartfelt. and then ink cupping paa’s face in her hands, the kisses, holding her hand. it has EVERYTHING. bless this show for giving us the GL we deserve (now we just need a full series...where’s the inkpaa spin off pls).

i get so giddy every time i even just think about this scene, okay. i love it to pieces :’)

pat and pran finally getting to go on their hot pot date in public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pran constantly saying that he’s not going to play guitar anymore, but still getting it serviced anyway as if we don’t all know that he’s going to finish writing that song for pat!!

not pat and his “call my big bro” kink i- 😭

the ‘proposal’ scene...and now the talk about rings is giving me some big engagement/marriage vibes. why do i get the feeling they’ll either be engaged or married by the end of this drama. calling it now for ep 12!!

but first, the fall out :(((((((((

the whole last 16 mins of this ep was just heartbreak after heartbreak. they buttered us up with the fluff, and then everything came crashing down like we always knew it was going to, but it honestly still hurt me so much more than i was anticipating.

this was the worst place for them to be found out by pat’s parents. in public like this, and then for pat’s dad to lose all reason, charge at him, and immediately get physical like that in front of everyone????? imagine what he’d be like in private then... :///

what gets me is that pran...pran who HATES confrontation, who avoids it like the plague (like he did in the beginning of this ep, or after their first kiss), still stepped between them the second he saw pat’s dad push him. even when, in every scene we’ve seen them interact, he appears to be afraid of pat’s dad (and understandably so). he still put that fear aside and tried to protect pat the moment he saw that pat could get hurt...only for HIM to be the one flung to the ground by pat’s dad instead. and then pat immediately dropping to check if he was alright the moment he saw what his dad did :(

up until then, pat was trying to keep the peace...i don’t think he would have said anything more to his parents, but he got angry (and impulsive) as soon as his dad hurt pran...bc if there’s one thing he can’t stand, it’s when pran’s hurt in any way. and even in that anger, you can still see how scared he is to tell his parents that pran is his boyfriend. but it’s been bubbling up for so long that it all had to come out at some point, and in that moment through the anger and the hurt, i don’t think pat saw any other choice.

you can really see how terrified pat’s dad is as soon as pat brings up that he knows about the history between him and pran’s mum. you know he’s buried this secret of his deep, deep down somewhere and done everything in his power to make sure it never saw the light of day again.

god, and then pran feeling so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened...he’s been rejected in words by pat’s dad before (when he was hiding under the bed in ep 2), and now he’s been physically pushed to the ground by him. the unexpected confrontation pushing him over the edge and making him lash out at pat bc it’s all just too much :( and then the look on his face when pat listens to his request and walks away to talk to his dad...like he immediately feels bad for it. and like he’s absolutely devastated and terrified about what this might mean for them. about the possibility of pat being wrenched away from him once again.

honestly, bless chai. i really love how supportive he is of the both of them, the only adult that’s acting like an adult rn. how he offers to stay with pran when he confronts his mum is just really lovely of him.

pran hiding his guitar from his mum before he enters the house like he’s trying to hide away his feelings ;;; i’m certain he would have kept his relationship with pat hidden too if it hadn’t been for his mum pressing him so hard about what was going on between the two of them.

but just like pat in the scene before, and maybe that’s where he got the courage to say it out loud too, he admits the truth about their relationship to his mother. like i said before, pran tends to avoid confrontations at all costs, but the constant suppression has made him a ticking time bomb. when he confronts his mum, it hurts bc everything he’s telling her has been building up inside of him for years and years at this point. all the emotional trauma. all the pain. he’s pushed so much of it down for so long that it was only a matter of time before he erupted.

i’m so glad that pran called his mum out on the way she pushed all these expectations on him and how it wasn’t his job to upkeep her reputation for her. all of these parents not being able to accept that their children are individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. it’s so awful.

“because you raised me this way, that’s why i’m not like other kids” damn. that line is so powerful. not that she doesn’t deserve it bc of everything pran’s had to go through as a child till now, but it would absolutely kill me inside if i was a mother and heard my own child say that to me and mean it.

it in no way excuses the slap, but the heightened emotions are so real. and at least it looked like she regretted what she did straight after it.

the resentment and hurt on pran’s face though...the look in his eyes...i. am. distraught (both nanon and p’ple are so incredible).

as soon as she started marching over to pat’s place i knew shit was going to go DOWN, and this whole sequence of events was just so intense and emotionally draining...it was a lot to take in.

(i’m gonna use their parents names interchangeably here bc i find it easier this way).

so one of the things that i was always worried about with this series was that they weren’t going to make the family rift deep enough to justify why both the families despised each other so much (and kept trying to make their children compete/keep them apart). if it had been just a lover’s quarrel, i wouldn’t have been sold tbh. esp after sooooooo many years, and with the two having already married different people. but STEALING A SCHOLARSHIP?? now THIS is a good reason to me.

speaking from personal experience in my own family, my parents grew up in south east asia, and they grew up poor. bc of this, my mum was never able to go to university. my dad, as the only boy in his family, was. i can only IMAGINE how much a scholarship would have meant to a girl who wasn’t well off, living in thailand in the 90s. it would have changed EVERYTHING for her. like dissaya says, it was literally her whole future. by taking away her chance at this scholarship, ming stole her future and any opportunities that she could have had away from her. i would be LIVID. honestly, livid doesn’t even cover it.

this confrontation should have happened a long time ago, but the fact that she kept all of these feelings festering inside of her for over 20 years just proves to me that she really is pran’s mother.

no matter what dissaya has gone through, this will never excuse how pran’s been treated, but i can’t help but empathise with her at the same time. at least now i can understand why she has so much hatred for pat’s dad (and family by association). now i can understand why she freaked out and immediately made pran transfer schools the moment she realised that pat and pran had become close. she was projecting all the trauma she’d experienced from ming onto pat, and she was afraid that pat would do the same thing to her son.

it was fine before bc if they were always fighting/rivals, it meant that pat and pran would never be close enough for pat to jeopardise pran’s future. but if they became friends?? it hits much too close for comfort for her.

and the thing with pran is that he internalises his feelings so much that i don’t think dissaya ever realised just how much of an impact pressuring him, imprinting this mindset on him, and transferring him to another school (and taking him away from his only sources of happiness: his guitar and pat) really had on him. she prob never truly realised until pran finally told her how he felt during their argument.

but she did. she made him inherit all the anger and resentment she felt towards ming...she fostered the environment that gave him all this emotional trauma, manifesting in his need to keep things to himself, shut down instead of confronting things head on, and his need for control (his OCD tendencies). i’ve also mentioned this before, but pran is constantly being punished every time he allows himself to be happy/expresses himself (from having to transfer schools, to being pushed to the ground, to being slapped). it’s only natural for him to  continue to shut himself down and lock away his feelings from his friends and family. to keep everyone away except pat bc pat is the only one who lets him feel what he feels, and never pressures him into anything else.

idk i’m just heartbroken for both of them for different reasons. dissaya didn’t deserve what happened to her, but pran didn’t deserve all the expectations placed upon him bc of what she experienced. it’s generational trauma.

and don’t even let me get started on MING. so ming really was the bad buddy all along, huh.

i understand how difficult it can be growing up in an asian household where you’re constantly pressured by your parents, i KNOW it’s not easy to live up to parental expectations, but what he did was despicable. and to then place all that same pressure on your own son when you’ve experienced it all before?? this is obviously pretty common...that’s how cycles of abuse and trauma get passed down, but it’s just so vile to me that he made pat compete with pran (hate him) knowing FULL WELL that he was in the wrong. and it’s something that he can barely admit it to himself, let alone apologise for what he did.

it’s honestly amazing to me how caring and balanced his children grew up to be despite how selfish he is. hie ego was too big for him to even apologise, and instead he made everything so much worse. dissaya must have been seething this whole time. ming making his son compete against her son after everything that he did to her...like i don’t condone how she responded to it, but i can see why, clouded by her anger, she’d make pran compete against pat too to spite him. their children were just soldiers in the war that their parents were fighting.

and to take a scholarship that he didn’t even need from someone that actually NEEDED it, not use it, and then just end up running the family business instead?? it really makes it so much worse. like rubbing salt in the wound. fuck this guy.

you can see that there was some level of guilt that he felt (thinking that giving chai up and letting them run a business to compete with his would somehow make them even??), but it’s just so misguided. and so buried under his own pride and need to save face. no wonder ming wants to live vicariously through pat so badly...it feel like some sort of clean slate for him. and it makes the hypocrisy of him constantly being on pat’s case about lying make a lot more sense. it’s like he’s overcompensating bc he knows that HE’S the one that told the biggest lie of all. bc underneath it all, he knows that he’s the one in the wrong, but he just can’t admit it.

other than the rooftop hug, the scene where pat asks his father whether the reason he had to hate pran all this time was bc of him, hit me SO damn hard. remember at the beginning of the ep when pat was feeling so positive that their parents might be able to get over their feud?? compare how he was in that scene to how he is in this one. he’s devastated. it hurts so much bc, although pat’s an emotionally expressive person, we rarely see him cry like this. but his wavering voice, the way you can see his tears literally welling up, the utter disappointment on his face. you can pinpoint the exact moment when his heart breaks bc his father, someone he’s respected and looked up to his whole life, isn’t the person he thought he was at all. it’s the complete disillusionment (ohm tore my heart to shreds in this...everyone acted so well).

it keeps making me cry bc pat’s felt guilty this WHOLE time. for not thanking pran properly when he saved paa, for getting him transferred, and now, worst of all, for his father being the root cause of the whole rift in the first place. none of this is his fault, of course, but it’s like the guilt keeps following him around bc of the actions of their parents. it was one of the reasons he kept trying to make amends with pran in the first place, but they keep getting caught up in the mess created by their families.

and then to have his mum defend his dad after all that?? hell no. these boys deserve so much better.

finally, rooftop scene. what even needs to be said about this. i didn’t think anything could match the emotions of ep 5′s rooftop scene, but this scene is SPECTACULAR. heart wrenching in the best way. the first time i watched this, i didn’t even cry bc i was just feeling too many things at once, but every single time i’ve watched this since, i’ve bawled my eyes out. i think when you get to sit with the emotions more, it hits so much deeper.

the rooftop is truly their special place. they’re always meeting up here during a turning point in their relationship.

i love the parallels with the ep 5 rooftop kiss. the charged emotions, the intimacy...but i love the differences between both these scenes now that their relationship has changed and developed so much. instead of pran walling his emotions up again and walking away like he did in ep 5, this time he lets it all out. lets pat see him at his most vulnerable, and leans on him for support instead bc he knows pat will always be there to catch him. pat’s his safe space.

the hug is so incredibly beautiful and meaningful. when pat first sees him, he looks at pran with such love and care...such openness and surety, and the only thing pran can do is crumble and cry into the arms of the person he feels safest with. poor boy is so incredibly drained. i love that pran hugs pat like he’s his lifeline, latches onto him and locks him in place, but pat hugs him like he knows he needs to be his pillar rn. the reassurance and the comfort of pat stroking pran’s hair, holding him close, and making sure that pran knows that he’s there for him ;;; even when pran pulls away from him, he’s still got a hand on the back of his neck. it’s clearly tearing pat up inside too, but he only cries when pran can’t see his face bc he knows that pran needs to be consoled the most in this moment, and he has to stay strong and support him as best he can. he needs to be the anchor.

pran’s “i can’t take it anymore” is so devastating bc you know that pran would only admit it out loud like this if he was at the end of his tether. it’s taken such a toll on him (the both of them), and i’m so glad that they’ll be getting away from the toxicity of their environment again in the next ep bc they NEED it.

not to mention, it makes sense that they would go back to the first place they ever felt like they could exist together in peace. no external conflict for them to worry about, and nothing there trying to tear them apart. it’s only a temporary reprieve, but it’s a reprieve all the same.

anyway, i always find it interesting that their parents’ feud is what has constantly pulled them into each other’s orbits. at first bc they were forced to compete against one another, but now it’s bc they have no one else left but one other to rely on. their parents have made it so no one else has the same shared experiences as the both of them do, unintentionally tying them together, and all it’s done is made their bond and love for each other stronger than ever. it’s the thing that unites them against all odds, but instead of being pushed together by circumstances like all the times before, this time they’re CHOOSING one another over the war between their parents, finding the comfort and solace they so desperately crave in each other’s arms.

they gave us a bit of everything in this ep. from the highs of the stairway confession and inkpaa in the dark room, to the lows of everything exploding the moment their parents found out about them and the rooftop hug...this ep was SO jam packed.

i don’t think any drama has ever taken me on such an intense emotional rollercoaster of a ride for so long before, but i’m grateful for every second of it. i’m so grateful for this revolving door of every emotion in existence bc nothing has ever made me feel the way that bad buddy does.

only two eps left and i can’t wait for the next one bc i genuinely have NO IDEA how things are going to pan out for them (though i’m certain that we’ll get the happy ending we’re all rooting for, i just don’t know how we’ll get there).

i’m really going to be so lost when i don’t have this drama to look forward to every friday. the thought of it makes me so sad, but at the same time, i’m already counting down the days until i can rewatch it from beginning to end again.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Not Bad

Prompts: Hihi, i have a Merlin prompt if you're interested. Merlin thinks he's a bad person bec he was taught that magic is bad, but also Bec of all the stuff he did/does to keep Arthur safe and ig throw in some touch starved!Merlin too for fun. But the knights compliment/hug/etc all the time and Merlin just doesn't understand what he's supposed to do with this, so the solution is to breakdown crying and try to convince the knights he's the bad person he sees himself as and the knights are just like "but you're wrong and he's 25 reasons why you're wrong" Plz, thx, love your writing - anon

im a fuckin sucker for soft knights & arthur w merlin so, if ur still takings reqs, i would love to see when the knights realize merlin still views himself as a "monster" like is hinted in first ep (? i thinkk, im rusty on my merlin trivia)- is it a passing comment he makes and they realize all together? knight cuddle pile? just give the poor boy some love - anon

if you'd want to write it i'd love to see the collective moment that the knights realize that merlin is self-harming in some way (in my brain this is probably in like a denial-of-things type thing that he probably doesn't even see as self-harm bc he's an idiot, could even be something like healing everyone else w magic but refusing to heal himself... idk feel free to do whatever you see fit!). i can only imagine they'd be frustrated with him and themselves but theyre just loving large idiots (': - anon

ahh yes all the prompts

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: implied/referenced self-harm in the form of intentionally depriving oneself of physical contact because THAT COUNTS

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don't care

Word Count: 3462

Arthur is confused, very upset, and nothing is alright anymore, thank you very much.

Because you see, despite the image that he tries to present—emphasis on the word ‘try’, there, according to his knights—he does care an awful lot about his people, especially his one particular person that happens to be able to say an awful lot without saying anything.

Merlin. He’s talking about Merlin, in case you hadn’t noticed.

The problem is that for all the man can ramble on about seemingly anything, at any time, he’s remarkably good at saying absolutely nothing about himself. He claims he’s an open book, but he’s certainly in a language that Arthur doesn’t know how to read.

He does know how to read, just to clarify. That isn’t the issue here.

No, no, the issue is that after months, years, almost a decade of Merlin by his side, watching his back, taking care of him, he’s discovered that there’s a secret that Merlin’s keeping from him. One he never intended to tell Arthur.

And before you panic, no, he’s not talking about Merlin’s magic.

Come on, it’s not like it’s not obvious, the man isn’t exactly good at hiding it. Does he seriously believe Arthur can’t see the tree branches that miraculously pick themselves up and fly at the nearest bandit or the spears that fling themselves at the foe about to behind Gwaine? Or the chores that mysteriously get done too fast for Merlin and far too efficiently? Or the way certain magical ailments seem to vanish mysteriously along with his idiot of a servant only to be greeted with a soft shrug when he pokes?

Merlin’s eyes also turn gold, that’s pretty neat.

So Merlin has magic.

Yes, we know, we had a small tantrum over the fact that he told Lancelot first, but it’s fine. Quite frankly, a lot of things make more sense now.

Except for this. Not this.

Merlin is hiding the secret that he believes he’s a bad person.

Now, Arthur’s not sure if you’ve met Merlin, but the man isn’t exactly the image of the evildoer that springs to mind when someone says ‘bad person.’

The Witch Finder, now there’s a bad person. Storming into Camelot, preying on the fear of the people, bribing and threatening and drugging people, torturing them, and condemning them to death just for the sake of a few coins.

Merlin did storm into Camelot, that is true, but he decided to pick a fight with the crown prince and then save his life. He’s not here for coin—if he were, they wouldn’t have had that small, er, issue about the steward not paying him anything for his work for the past eight years, honestly—and he’s certainly not preying on anyone’s fears. Except perhaps Arthur’s fear of losing his dignity.

The look on his father’s face when Merlin dodged the pillow…

Speaking of his father…there’s another one.

His father did not prey as openly on the people’s fear—or as obviously as Aredian, but prey on them he did. He was a strong king, sometimes too strong. He was a blind king, saw the people as nothing more than subjects, not the living breathing humans they are. He remembers Morgana’s voice, saying that authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force.

He always wanted to see Uther’s face when his ward—when his daughter said that to him.

And what he’s done to Morgana…

Arthur grimaces and shakes his head. Perhaps the very truth that he resents the idea of thinking about what Uther did to Morgana, to him…perhaps that is enough.

Those are bad people. At least to Arthur.

Merlin, on the other hand…

Merlin came into Camelot, knowing that if it was discovered that he has magic, he would be burnt at the stake. He came, not with any aspirations of glory, simply because he trusted his mother when she told him to come to Gaius. He came and he was given a job he never asked for, one he had no idea how to do, and stayed.

Merlin learned. Slowly, perhaps, but he learned. Now he has enough knowledge on what a servant should do to break the rules in the most spectacular fashion. Arthur smiles, biting back the chuckle at seeing George dressed up like Merlin and acting perfectly proper and the urge Arthur had to throw him out of the room.

And that’s not even mentioning what he does when he’s not following Arthur around.

Merlin learned. Merlin stayed.

Not just for Gaius, but for Arthur.

Arthur leans onto his desk, staring out into the courtyard where Merlin is tending to the knights’ horses as they mount up for patrol. He watches Leon step a little closer, lowering his head to mutter something to him, watching Gwaine clap Merlin on the shoulder.

Watches Merlin flinch a little too hard.

Watches Leon’s brow furrow and Gwaine take a step back.

This. This is the problem.

Merlin believes he’s a bad person. Which is wrong, but for some reason, he does.

And because Merlin believes he’s a bad person, he believes that anytime one of the knights touches him—or anyone touches him—it will be to hurt him.

How did they come to this conclusion, you may ask?

Arthur bites back a snarl as he turns away from the window.

It had started with the complements.

Gwaine, to no one’s surprise, was quite fond of flirting with anyone and everyone that would let him, Merlin no exception. Talking about Merlin’s looks, his personality, his work ethic, anything, and everything. Merlin would flush, bright red, ears and all, mumbling to himself.

But then Percival had said something and Merlin pushed him away—well, prodded his arm, no one really moves Percival without Percival letting them—and shook his head. Percival had shrugged but the rest of them had noticed the tension in Merlin’s shoulders.

Then Elyan complemented Merlin’s tracking abilities and Merlin hadn’t even acknowledged it, instead insisting that they keep moving before it got too dark to see and they’d be forced to make camp in the woods. They’d agreed, pressing on, but noting the way that Merlin refused to say so much as thank you.

Leon’s perceptiveness should be considered magical. Seriously, Arthur’s not entirely convinced the man can’t see into people’s heads, what with the information he’s able to produce out of nothing more than the twitch of a finger or the slightest huff of breath. But he sees the way Merlin shies away from any display of affection, even as he gently repeats it, watching Merlin turn his back and get back to work.

Arthur never saw what happened with Lancelot. All he knows is that one night, out in the woods, the two of them had gone off to collect firewood and Merlin had been hiding red-rimmed eyes when he returned, a few paces ahead of Lancelot, not ten minutes later. Arthur had glared but the forlorn confusion on Lancelot’s face had given him pause.

Then it was the touching.

One would expect Merlin to be a quite tactile person, and he is. He’s all shoulder nudges and pokes and prods and gentle shoves to get people to move where he wants them to go. And it’s not like the man has much concept of personal space.

No, some of that is not Arthur’s fault, how dare you?

But when someone else tries it, Merlin tenses reflexively, already moving before their hands make contact. He gives everyone he can a wide berth, scuttling around the outside of rooms until one of them breaks and tells him to come here, Merlin, it’s alright, we won’t hurt you. His face never quite believes them.

The strangest thing is how much of it Merlin makes small adjustments for.

He always wears those god-awful tunics, that he won’t let Arthur replace with fabric that doesn’t feel like it’s a burlap sack, with the sleeves pulled all the way down and those kerchiefs tied around his neck. Arthur’s seen his sleeves rolled up before, but only when Merlin’s working and he hasn’t realized Arthur’s there yet. It’s not like Arthur doesn’t know Merlin has forearms, but Merlin will always jump and guiltily roll his sleeves down.

He doesn’t notice why until he accidentally brushes Merlin’s bare skin once and Merlin all but tears away like he’s been burned.

He doesn’t know why.

Merlin has a secret. The secret is that he believes he’s a bad person. That means he can’t accept compliments and he can’t let them touch him.

This is a problem, because Arthur would very much like for Merlin to believe that he isn’t a bad person.

This is also a problem because Arthur has no idea how to do that.

He looks up when there’s a knock on the door.

“Enter.”

“Sire?” Leon steps through. “May we come in?”

Arthur nods, his eyebrows raising as all of his knights spill into the room.

“Shall I assume you’re on the warpath again?”

“Nah,” Gwaine grumbles, throwing himself into a chair, “know this isn’t your fault.”

Leon shakes his head. “It’s Merlin, sire, we’re…concerned.”

Arthur just sighs and tells them what’s been buzzing around his head for the past…however long it’s been. The knights nod.

“He doesn’t like to be touched when he doesn’t expect it,” Lancelot offers, “but when I ask…he doesn’t seem to want to agree either.”

“But he does,” Gwaine argues, “you’ve seen the way he stares at us when we hug each other, he looks like a poor child that’s never had a hug in his life!”

“Which isn’t true.” Elyan folds his arms. “Gwen’s hugged him.”

“We’ve all hugged him.”

“But he still thinks we’re going to hurt him.”

“Well,” Arthur mutters, “we can’t exactly blame him for being paranoid, can we?”

“If you lot are going to talk about me behind my back like it’s a war council, then yeah, I reserve the right to be paranoid.”

“Merlin!”

“Thank god, where’ve you been?”

“I thought we were meeting by the stables.”

“Did you get hurt?”

Merlin raises his hands and takes a step back. “Whoa, can I get through the door first before the interrogation starts?”

“This isn’t an interrogation,” Arthur says, glaring at the knights, “we’re concerned.”

“Uh-huh,” Merlin mutters, weaving through them to the table so he can set down the thing hooked over his arm, “yes, I’m all too familiar with your concern.”

Arthur frowns. “What does that mean?”

Merlin waves a hand. “Oh, just that it’s a prelude to more chores and things to do.”

Is that…true?

“Yes.”

Did he say that out loud?

“Also yes.”

Arthur shakes his head. “Merlin, we’re not coming up with lists and lists for chores for you to do.”

“Really? With how many you all constantly give me, here I finally thought I’d cracked the code as to why.”

Leon steps forward. “We’re not coming up with things to give you, Merlin, nor are we intending to gossip behind your back.”

“So what are you doing?”

“We’re worried,” Lancelot repeats, “about you.”

“Well, I’m right as rain, no need to worry.”

“Lie.”

Merlin’s eyes go wide and he stares at Leon. The knight smiles ruefully and takes another little step forward.

“Lie,” he repeats gently, “you don’t have to lie to us, Merlin.”

Merlin’s mouth thins. “Maybe I don’t want to tell you, then.”

“Why not—“

“No,” Arthur breaks in, causing Merlin to swing his head around again, “no, if Merlin doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t have to.”

Gwaine looks on the verge of protest, but another look from Lancelot is enough to quell him. He sinks into the chair and tosses an apple to Merlin.

“At least eat something,” he says by way of explanation, “you’ve not eaten anything since lunch.”

Merlin looks very confused—good, now he’s just like the rest of them—but bites into the apple nonetheless. His gaze travels around the room before coming to rest on Leon.

“Why are you all concerned?”

“Because you won’t let us complement you, Merlin,” Leon says softly, “you believe that every time we touch you we intend to hurt you, and you believe that this is deserved because you are a bad person.”

The flabbergasted look on Merlin’s face is almost enough to make Arthur laugh. Almost.

“How…”

“We notice things, Merlin,” Leon says patiently, “we notice you.”

Lancelot snorts. “Good going, mate, you’ll freak him out.”

“Um—there’s nothing worth noticing about me—“

“Not we all know that’s not true,” Gwaine says, and if it had been any other time it would’ve sounded like the next pick-up line at the tavern, “you’re worth noticing, Merlin.”

Merlin’s gaze darts back and forth, finding no disagreement in any faces.

“What—what were you concerned about?”

“Aside from what we just told you?”

“But I don’t—why is that a problem?”

Arthur swallows a curse. “Are you asking why we’re upset that you believe you’re a bad person and you deserve to be treated badly?”

“…yes?”

“Because you’re not a bad person,” Elyan says, “and you don’t deserve to feel like everyone’s about to hurt you.”

Gods, the look of disbelief on Merlin’s face hurts.

“You don’t know that,” he says lowly, setting the apple down, “you don’t know that.”

“Sure we do.” Elyan uncrosses his arms. “We know you, Merlin.”

“I don’t think you do.”

A look passes around the group of knights. Elyan smiles.

“I know that Gwen came home and told me she’d made a friend the first week you arrived in Camelot. I know that you’ve reminded us what family means. I know that you care, Merlin, about your friends, because they’re important to you.”

Merlin blinks in confusion.

“I know you’re a strong man,” Percival says, “and not just because you can lift the packs for the horses without complaining. But you work hard, because you know you can, and so that people don’t have to. You provide what you can because you know what it’s like to have nothing.”

“I—I—“

“I know you’re brave,” Lancelot says softly, standing, “I know you feel the same fear that we all do and you stare it straight in the face.”

He pauses, takes one step closer.

“I know you don’t chase the glory of being brave, but the feeling of being brave and using it.”

“Guys, I—“

“I know what you’ve done.”

Merlin’s face goes pale at Leon’s words.

The knight tilts his head to the side and smiles.

“I’ve been around the longest,” he says in a near whisper, “and I have seen the changes from when you arrived in Camelot until now. I’ve seen the differences, not just in the other men in this room but in Camelot.”

He lays a hand on his chest.

“I know that you’ve made me prouder to serve this kingdom than many others that have tried.”

Poor Merlin is shaking right now, his fingers trembling on the edge of the table. He looks around in confusion, terribly frightened, sending more aches through Arthur’s chest.

“You wouldn’t say that—“ he gasps— “you wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth.”

“And what truth is that?”

“That—that I—“ Merlin’s breaths start to ring in the chamber— “I—I—“

“That you have magic?”

Merlin’s head jerks around to stare at Arthur. Arthur raises his hands and takes a step closer. Merlin flinches.

“It’s alright, Merlin,” Arthur says softly, “I’m not angry. I’m not going to hurt you. You have magic, though, right?”

“Yes—yes, I—but I’ve only ever used it for—for you Arthur, I—“

“Easy,” he soothes, fighting the urge to reach out and pull him close, “I know. It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not,” Merlin all but whimpers, “it’s not okay, it’s bad, it’s bad and I’m bad, I’m bad—“

“You’re not.”

“I am!”

Merlin yanks his arms to his sides, curling them tightly around himself, much to the protest of the knights. His fingers whiten as he clutches the sides of his tunic.

“I’m bad, bad people get hurt, you don’t—you don’t touch bad people.”

“Merlin,” Arthur breaks in softly, “Merlin, sweetheart, I’m going to come over to you.”

He can hear the quickly stifled gasps and Gwaine’s ‘oh shit’ as he inches towards Merlin. The poor man doesn’t move, but the tremors get worse and worse the closer Arthur gets.

“I’m right here,” he murmurs, “I won’t hurt you, sweetheart, do you believe me? That I won’t hurt you?”

“I—I—“

“Because I won’t,” he promises, still fighting the urge to swoop the poor thing into a hug, “I’ll never hurt you, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not bad, Merlin, and you certainly don’t deserve to be hurt.”

“You don’t know that,” comes the strangled whisper, “you don’t know what I’ve done.”

“But I know you, Merlin,” Arthur murmurs, “and that’s enough.”

He can’t stop the concerned noise at Merlin’s huff of disbelief.

“It’s enough, sweetheart, it’s—hey! Easy, easy,” he soothes as Merlin’s knees buckle and he catches him before he can hit the ground, “I’ve got you, shh, shh, you’re alright.”

“Oh,” Lancelot murmurs as Merlin starts to shiver terribly, “oh, Merlin, you’re touch starved.”

“Touch starved?”

“He’s not been touched for a very long time,” Lancelot murmurs, hustling to join them on the floor, scooping Merlin’s legs into his lap, “and so he’s not used to it, but he needs it.”

“We all need touch?”

“Yes, otherwise our bodies get…unhappy.” Lancelot shakes his head. “I’m sure Gaius could explain it more. The short version is humans aren’t built to hold each other at arm’s length.”

Arthur tightens his grip on the lapful of shaking Merlin he has. There’s a cold nose buried in the crook of his neck, arms looping awkwardly around his shoulders. Distantly, he hears the scufflings of the other knights as they move closer.

“We’ve got you, sweetheart,” he fins himself whispering, “we’ve got you, we won’t hurt you, you’re safe, you’re good, we have you, it’s alright, now…”

Poor Merlin is still shuddering terribly.

“Shh, shh, easy, just try and relax, we have you…”

Since when has Merlin been this cold?

“Oh, I’m definitely hugging you every day,” Gwaine mutters, helping to prop Merlin up away from the table.

“Why—“ Merlin swallows— “why are you all so warm?”

“You’re cold,” Arthur says, “we’re helping.”

“I’m—I’m—what is it? Touch—touch—“

“Touch starved,” Lancelot offers gently, “yes, Merlin.”

“You’re helping?”

Gwaine shifts behind him. “We’re helping.”

“You’re not…mad?”

“No, Merlin, we’re not mad.”

“I’m not bad?”

Arthur tightens his grip. “Never, Merlin.”

“You—I can—I can stay?”

“Yes, Merlin,” comes the chorus of knights, “for as long as you like.”

Arthur is still upset, very confused, and more than a little overprotective right now.

But so is Merlin.

And they’re…they’re starting to figure it out.

One thing’s for sure: Arthur’s definitely pulling Merlin into bed to cuddle with him instead of getting up in the morning.

[todorroki]

Love Sea ep 1 thoughts

a little ramble/unorganized post of thoughts on ep 1 of love sea. so i watched the first ep twice, since the first time i was partially live tweeting some of my reactions and missed a few things. i enjoyed it!! quite a bit too, mostly bc i love fortpeat and i'll gobble up absolutely anything they're in. as with mame stories, in order to enjoy them to the fullest, my brain is off, my fujin glasses are on.

first off: gorgeous shots, even more gorgeous setting. i Love bright colors, and this island is really giving just that. like... NATURE!! so much green from the trees and the underwater shots are so good as well. i'm gonna be a little sad when they return to the city. not sure what episode this will land on but my guess is around ep 4? if they keep the pacing as it is right now.

this was a solid first episode. we get introduced to the main cast, their jobs, and a bit of their personality. and the end of the episode gives a glimpse of tongrak's trauma and a preview of the looming problem that should come to light as the series progresses. i'm honestly Very curious how they're going to handle the main conflict, if they're going to take anything out or change it. i am open to what changes they May do since i've already seen a (in my opinion) good change they made for the last scene on the boat.

in the novel, tongrak actually slaps mut when he tries to wipe his tears. yes, full on bitch slap to the face. which, honestly, when i read that part, i looked up from my phone and was like "ok...but why....." so i'm glad they took it out. i'm not mad about having a slap scene in general, but it seemed like a weird reaction (to me), even with the knowledge of WHY rak behaves the way he does. no spoilers, but i had that ????? reaction more than once throughout the novel so hopefully they're able to better translate book scenes to screen. i'll keep my expectations measured regardless.

i'm also wondering if they're going to have conner show up since we have his voice. not gonna lie, i was 90% expecting them to have silence on the other side when talking to conner on the phone. sorry for not believing in u mame lol.. and speaking of PHONE CALLS, idk if i'm traumatized from LITA but i audibly Cheered when i heard proper phone call audio effects. can u tell my expectations for the audio direction were in the ground lmao. and i'm still holding my breath bc LITA had proper call audio in the first ep but dropped it later. praying for consistency over here.

putting my fears aside, PEAT'S STYLING IN THIS SERIES!!! he looks sooo good. and fort in that wetsuit ho my god... so many good visuals here. also i know i read the novel, but i was still completely unprepared for the tongrak attempted seduction scene... i knew it would happen but i wasn't ready to see it with my eyeballs!!! that was WAY more skin than i expected. earlier this week, peat was saying we'd get to see his thighs in ep 1. SIR, we saw much more than that!!! got me screaming at 10am. fortpeat are doing so well here. fort is in his element completely with mahasamut, and peat does vulnerability so so well. i'm excited to see them in more emotional scenes.

now for extra scattered thoughts below ↓

i'm just glad for the brighter setting to see peat's eyes in the light. BEAUTIFUL

2. love sand in the corner of mook's desk and test love on the floor! i enjoy the mame universe easter eggs.

3. the live laugh love-esque font made me laugh sorry

4. MMY WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS PHOTOSET IN PREMIUM HD

5. tongrak is stronger than me. if someone started reading my wip i'd shut my screen so fast

anyways i'm VERY excited to see more fortpeat in action. i wrote this post to keep track of my own thoughts, but if you found this and happened to read it, thank you for your time!!

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

Falcon and the Winter Soldier Ep. 6 Takeaway

First let me say that I really truly enjoyed this show. I was so nervous at the beginning and I was so nervous for the end, and though there are things that I didn’t like (as to be expected with pretty much any media) my overall excitement was rewarded. I definitely give the show an A and can only hope that we keep getting things like this and WandaVision with their next shows.

Anyway.

Sam and Bucky (and Sharon) coordinating from their different spots. I always like seeing the tactical side of working together in addition to the badass fighting together stuff. 

The officer not questioning Bucky’s presence and calling him Sargent Barnes made me SO happy.

The facial mask thing-y that Natasha had in Cap 2 making a reappearance. Idk why I like that but it’s nice to know that these things are still being utilized.

CAPTAIN AMERICA’S FIRST ENTRANCE!!!! my GOD did Sam ROCK that!!! Fucking AH-MAY-ZING. 

Sam’s new costume is perfect like the comics!! It’s so often changed that it’s so great to see it on screen! 

“I’m sorry, wait. Who are you?” “I’m Captain America.” The parallel between this is Steve’s “Um...Captain America.” in the First Avenger. 

The subtitles saying “Captain America” now whenever Sam in uniform talks.

Bucky trying to talk Karli down, approaching from a different angle than Sam because it’s what he knows and honestly does want to stop her without it coming to a fight. Especially when he realizes it’s a trap and is all “oh fuck me” and needs to haul ass lol. That is Bucky Barnes to a T. 

“Seriously, Bucky, you had one job.” Omg, Sharon. lmao

Sam’s fight with Batroc was so cool. No serum. Just straight up ass kicking plus the au revoir at the end. Yes please and thank you.

Redwing!!!! Yaaaay!!!! (”a little birdie told me” lmao, Sam.)

Seeing the Vibranium wings in ACTION. Bouncing a freaking helicopter off them! FUCK!!!!! SO COOL!!!

I can watch Bucky Barnes throwing himself off a motorcycle all day long. 

Bucky stopping his fight to save everyone.

John Walker and his stupid Walmart Shield arriving just in time to add fire to fire. Thanks, bro. 

Bucky specifically being thanked for rescuing them. He’s spent so much time with so much guilt that having just one person say “thank you for rescuing us” actually made him pause. He’s spent so much time as the “villain” that he’s forgotten he can be the hero and it’s so good to see that finally hit him. 

The metal arm scraping across the ground. Good god. 

Sam popping out of the water and “Boy, you earned this ass whooping!”

That helicopter scene holy SHIT is Sam amazing. 

And some applause for Ayla, too!!!! 

John Walker ultimately choosing to save people instead of going on with his vendetta. Very comic book in character. 

Bucky watching in horror as the van is slowly going over the edge and then smiling in wonder and awe as Captain America saves them all. 

“That’s the Black Falcon there! I tell you!” “Nah. That’s Captain America!” Tears. Actual tears. SO MANY TEARS. Sam Wilson IS CAPTAIN AMERICA, baby!!!

Uh, yeah, so Bucky stopping weapons mid-air is one of my favorite things ever.

Okay, Batroc, go the fuck away now, we’re done with you. 

I do like that when push comes to shove, the mission outweighed their personal grudges and Sam and Bucky “teamed up” with Walker. Not that it was 100% trust on their side. I think Bucky followed Walker bc “eeeeh....can we really trust him?” and since he has no doubt Sam can handle himself, but also, we’re fighting the same thing right as of this moment so lets just keep our heads and do it. 

I am absolutely not thrilled with the direction they took Sharon. Like. Not at all. I’m...reserving full judgement for what I’m assuming will come in the future but like. No. Nuh-ah. Not happy with it.

Sam trying so hard to help Karli. The fact that he legit refused to fight her and she tried so hard to get him to fight back and he just wouldn’t. So beautiful and poignant. Sam’s fighting style. Sam perseverance. Just. Everything about that.

As good as the scene was (and I think it was great. The set up. How it all went down. The raw emotion) I’m kinda bummed they killed Karli. I was hoping Sam could at least talk her down first. However, the emotion and symbolism of her dying in his arms, and whispering “i’m sorry” was so heartbreaking. 

The way Bucky and Walker got the rest of the Flag Smashers was hilarious.

Sam carrying Karli’s body cradled in his arms and flying down with her like a literal angel? I mean. Just rip my heart out. 

“You have to stop calling them terrorists.” and “Your peacekeeping troops carrying weapons are forcing millions of people into settlements around the world, right? What do you think those people call you.” These first few lines of Sam’s speech. God, thank you.

Sam’s Captain America Speech. No fuck’s given. I’m so glad they didn’t hold back and just let him really give that powerful speech. Unabashedly saying “I’m a Black man carrying the stars and stripes. What don’t I get?”. Admitting the weight that comes with it and the judgement he feels. Not backing down. Telling the world he is Captain America “no super serum, no blond hair or blue eyes”. Defending Karli and trying to get them to understand what she was trying to do and why she was trying to do it. Sam was 100% born to be Captain America. 

Everyone watching Captain America’s speech. Bucky. Walker. Isaiah and Eli. Joaquin. Sarah. The world. Beautiful watching Captain America deliver his first speech. 

“Sorry I was texting so all I heard was Black guy in stars and stripes...nice job, Cap.” That back clap Bucky gives Sam there? ((#boyfriends))

“Can you help?” “Always.” 

Very happy that Zemo had another villain move up his sleeve. Didn’t really dig the whole “i’m so graceful feel sorry for me” thing. 

John Walker becoming US Agent.  

Oh and, excuse me while I geek out over Valentina, Walker, Zemo...@marvel, I see where this might be headed. Please don’t let me down!

Bucky making his amends with Nakajima. The overwhelming emotions. The fear of admitting it. I kinda wish we saw a little more but I’m also okay with the ambiguity of it and knowing that Bucky knows that he at least gave him closure and is coming to accept that his role as the winter soldier was not his fault. 

Also liked Bucky giving the book to his therapist. I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but I take no issues with her and I do think that Bucky felt she helped him.

Eli Bradley is fucking adorable. 

Sam’s conversation with Isaiah. All that hope he represents while not erasing the pain that Isiah and generations before them suffered. Still wanting to fight for what’s right just because it’s the right thing to do. Isaiah not condemning Sam’s choice. Beautiful and poignant. 

Um. The museum scene? Yeah, I had to pause for a good ten minutes before I could actually continue with the show. Isaiah Bradley and all his men deserved that ((and so much more)) for so long. The catharsis so visible when Isaiah hugs Sam so tight. The zoom in on the statue. Okay, I’m crying again. 

Yeah, so when Bucky’s boyfriend has a BBQ he shows up like dancing like a dork with a cake and plays with all the kids.

Honestly, happiness looks so good on him. It’s so nice to see that again. 

They really ended it with Sam and Bucky embracing and walking off together in the sunset. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

Again, still not thrilled with what’s going on with Sharon but clearly they’re setting up for something so...I’m putting a bookmark in to hold my judgement. 

Bc honestly, my biggest focus is:

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

Seriously though, overall, I think this was one of the best things Marvel has put out there in a while and I know I’ll come back to it again and again. Here’s hoping to more Cap to come!!!! 

[commic-jester]

For your prompt spoiler for 129

Okay Cad's Revivy didn't work. Caleb has to use his Transmuter Stone.

why must you hurt me in this way anon /lh

disclaimer!! i don’t know a lot about the transmuter’s stone in terms of critical role so im going strictly off dnd stats!! idk how important it is to the current story!! im sorry if this is a bit ooc!! also kinda channeled my inner matt mercer for this one dksfdjk-

‼️SPOILERS FOR EP 129 HUGE FUCKIN SPOILERS‼️

TW: temporary child death!! please be safe y’all!!!

Last Resort

—

It didn’t work.

It didn’t fucking work.

Caleb watched as Caduceus’s spell faded into nothing, the charred, lifeless body of Luc, a mere child, lying still in Marion’s arms. The red tiefling woman’s face crumpled once more as she covered her mouth with her hand, choking out a sob.

“Caduceus...?” Veth’s voice was small, broken. The adrenaline of the battle had worn off, the mother’s rage at the now dead creature that had killed her son simmering down into small embers instead of a raging flame.

Caduceus himself was horrified. It shook Caleb to his core, to see Caduceus so open with his emotions. The cleric was known to be gentle, supporting, but closed off with his own emotions. Now, though, the firbolg was staring at the lifeless body, his hands beginning to glow with another _Revivify, _until the small hand of Veth reached out to stop him. The cleric was clearly exhausted already.

Caleb looked around frantically. Yeza was broken, sobbing forcefully into his son’s chest. Veth had laid her head on her husband’s shoulders, her shoulders shaking violently but with no noise. Marion was crying as well, gently carding her fingers through the toddler’s hair. Jester was next to Caduceus, who was sat back on his heels, staring blankly at the toddler, tears silently streaming down his face. Jester was whispering small reassurances to the firbolg, who clearly wasn’t having any of it by the way he would gently shake his head.

Caleb shook himself out of it. He had to do something. 

He rummaged through his bag, desperately digging for something, anything—

The transmuter’s stone.

He knew it would shatter after this use, given that it even worked at all. It was a gamble, but as far as he knew it was the only chance they had at the moment. Losing the stone was better than losing Luc.

He shoved his way past Caduceus, who looked up, slightly confused.

Placing the stone on Luc’s chest, Caleb muttered a few arcane words and watched as the stone pulsed with a faint glow.

A beat of silence. Two. Panic began bubbling inside Caleb’s chest. He didn’t necessarily worship any gods, that was more Jester and Caduceus’s areas, but he could have sworn he began subconsciously muttering a quiet prayer.

One more beat of silence, and the stone suddenly exploded in a blinding flash of orange and gold, a shattering sound ringing through the chamber as fragments of the small ringed stone went flying across the molten cavern. 

Everyone in the cavern released a collective breath as Luc drew in a gasping one, coughing violently. Veth and Yeza both dashed forward, wrapping their son in a near crushing hug. 

Caleb fell back onto his heels, not unlike Caduceus. Caleb buried his head in his hands, reminding himself that he had no right to cry. If he had just been stronger, more cautious. If he hadn’t gone fucking unconscious. If he had just dealt with the elementals sooner--

A large hand came to rest on his shoulder, and Caleb looked up to see an exhausted, but gently smiling Caduceus.

“You did good.”

“I did what I had to.”

Caduceus frowned. “Caleb, don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself for this.”

Caleb sighed. “I was weak. If I just killed that fucking elemental sooner. If I hadn’t dragged every one of you into this mess in the first fucking place, he’s a child!”

Caduceus placed both hands on Caleb’s shoulder this time. “Hey, hey. None of this is anyone’s fault, ok?” he said, then chuckled slightly. “Caleb, you, quite literally, can’t fight fire with fire. As for ‘dragging’ all of us into this, I think you should know by now that we would all follow each other to the ninth circle of Hell if it meant one of us was safe. After all the shit we’ve been through? I don’t think anything you could have said would have convinced us otherwise.”

Caleb sighed. “I could have done more.”

Caduceus shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll never know, though, will we? What’s important is that the elementals are dead, Luc is safe, and no one is terribly hurt.” 

Caleb didn’t respond, instead standing up and focusing on setting up the magical dome that would keep them safe, at least for a bit. When they were all rested up, they would get the hell out of here as soon as they could with Jester’s magic.

When Caleb finally got the dome up, he sat inside, looking over as Jester massaged Caduceus’s likely tense shoulders. He smiled gently as the large firbolg practically fell asleep.

He jumped slightly as a tiny hand came to rest on his knee, and he looked down to see little Luc looking up at him with large, innocent eyes that nearly broke Caleb’s heart. 

“You have really cool magic, Uncle Caleb,” The small child said quietly as to not wake any of the people sleeping. Caleb gave sad, small chuckle. He didn’t deserve that nickname. 

“It is pretty cool, isn’t it?” Caleb replied quietly, deciding to indulge him. He snapped once, Frumpkin appearing on Luc’s shoulder. The child laughed and pet the cat as it curled around his shoulders, purring. Caleb looked up to see Yeza and Veth clutching onto each other, smiling sadly at their son playing with the cat. Caleb saw Yeza look up at him, tear stains visible on the halfling man’s face. The man looked at him with a gratitude so strong Caleb almost had to look away. After a few beats Caleb saw Yeza mouth the words “thank you”.

Caleb looked away, not responding. He held back a sniffle of his own, and instead lied down in his own cot away from the rest of the group.

Caleb knew he’d carry that guilt with him for a long time, but for now, Caleb decided he would rest in the small comfort that Luc was safe, none of his friends were hurt (that he knew of -- he had no idea about Fjord, Beau, and Yasha), and the families would be hopefully safe at the Evening Nip in the coming days. With that, he rested, not peacefully, but rested nonetheless. The Mighty Nein had survived possibly their worst challenge yet, and it wasn’t in the form of a dragon or beholder. 

Gods provide they survived the next.

--

reblogs > likes!!

[mimiri22-6]

I JUST FOUND OUT BEE AND PUPPYCAT HAD A SECOND SEASON! GUESS WHAT I JUST FINISHED WATCHING!

Oh my fucking god holy shit, my guys! This show. This fucking show. Where do I even start! First off

SPOILERS!!!!!!

YOU DO NOT WANT TO WALK INTO THIS SEASON, THIS SHOW, WITH SPOILERS! DO NOT FUCKING LOOK, THIS IS 1000% SPOILER TERRITORY!!!

So I will be taking the extra step of taking my laptop out, and continuing this on there(and after I wake up because it's 4am and I regret absolutely NONE of this whatsoever because, guys, I love this show with everything I have left to my being, I swear, I will die for a third season)

Warning: This is a long one.

OKOKOKOK! I know I know! It’s been uh...A Month since I first posted this! BUT I am Here Now and Ready!!! I am less than 10 seconds into the first episode of season 2 and I am already So Ready to relive this!!(Dream SMP has Nothing on this show, God I Love This Show Far Too Much!!!!!!)

...First ten minutes...I have So Much I want to say...Just-just a lot of love...

okokokokokokokokokok!!!!!! I think I know how I’m going to do this now! One bullet for each episode! Let’s see if I stick with it.

Gentle Touch

In the first episode we already get a big game changer for Bee and her development. Bee becoming more responsible as a favor for Deckard. He asks her to take care of his family while he’s at cooking school and we already see her doing this. Going out to the ocean with Weasley, going out of her comfort zone for people she’s practically family to, which is why we got the beginning flashback, once again going out of her comfort zone to stop Puppycat from punching kittens, And Finally, coming out from her nap cupboard to face Howl and help pay for bills by eating ugly food.

Little Fingers

Ooh, this one has foreshadowing dream sequence. I would say more about it if it had more significance, but it’s really just what happens to Bee in the last ep. This episode brings more of Bee being responsible, trying to take her phone away from Puppycat so he stops making bad purchases. This episode made me realize what Puppycat’s role is this season, the child. Or something among those lines. He’s the same as he was last season, but it seems/is a bit more exaggerated because Bee isn’t doing the same things anymore. She’s started to care about consequences. And speaking about consequences, Toast announces she’s pregnant while confirming that she’s been staying...in Cass’s room(?)...weird, but ok, and by Tim pointing and Merlin’s reaction, it’s Merlin’s...but also everyone else seemed like they thought they were the culprit and I don’t want to think about the implications of that....MOVING ON-OH WAIT, And Cardamon’s mom is spouting magic tears that messes with the plants, so there’s that.

Snow and Violets

I’m going to be honest, I’m not 100% sure what to put here and I’m loosing steam. (I’ve been awake since 3 am...) But I think I can put something. The situation with Mr. Cup is the definition of being haunted by your past. The guilt and regret of cheating in the past has made him lose his motivation to give it his all in racing because, what’s the point? Motivation and not caring was his norm, so he just stuck with it. Until Bee, and now he can be a rainbow and sleep with less guilt and regret on his conscience. The thing with the island rapidly changing could be one of three things. Something to do with the ship that  Is the island, a metaphor for change, or something really cool the creators just wanted.

Day off Work

Not Too much to note for this ep overall. Puppycat totally did do the ‘wrecking the house in search for the owner’ thing dogs do. Finally, a dog trait! Every time I see Cardamon now I just get sad cause he’s 7, and should Not be doing landlord stuff. Bee showing worry about how Cardamon’s mom is still asleep and being worried about Cardamon himself, I’m just glad someone’s noticing. I keep forgetting that some people haven’t watched the pilot so they don’t know about Puppycat being a Space Outlaw, so when he found all his stuff under the apartment I was less surprised and more excited. The two last things I want to say is I think it’s interesting/cool/intriguing how the Wizard family just takes every weird thing either in stride, unquestioningly, or ignorance. Just trying to pretend it didn’t happen so they don’t have to deal with it(other than Crispin, but he’s coming up). And the last thing I just want to bring to light is CARDAMON BEING SO CUTE IN THE LAST SCENE! JUST BEING A CHILD! AND LAUGHING WITH HIS DOG! ON A FUNNY CHAIR! I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR AND I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE WITH MY WHOLE BEING!!!

My Favorite

Note, Pretty Patrick is also The Mayor. Alright. It’s definitely been a few months and you can see the relationship between Howl and Bee has gotten better, not that it was too bad to begin with, just a bit less peeved on Howl’s end. The theme of Bee being responsible is brought into play again with the train station scene. Telling Puppycat to not hit and the way Puppycat was acting around Patrick. All little kid stuff. Which also kind of clashes with what I thought was Puppycat being older than Bee by a lot, I’m honestly slowly getting more and more confused exactly how I should perceive Puppycat. THE FIRST REAL LOOK AT THE HAND GUYS! I’m still not sure what their deals are, but they have a corpse on their hands and that is already the biggest red flag. I have a guess as to what/who they are in relation to Puppycat and, by acquaintance, Bee, but I could be wrong, but I also can’t think of any other people they may be. I’ll bring it back up either the next time we see them or at the end.

Did You Remember

Grampa Puppycat cares about his granddaughter a whole lot. Don’t @ me, their dynamic is more confusing than a moving maze...Now this episode, ooh boy, it feels like a lot, but in a minimal way? First off, Cardamon finally breaks down about the stress of being a 7 year old landlord and Bee takes care of him for the day. Big Sis Bee For The Win! DON’T @ ME I MAKE UP MY OWN FAMILY DYNAMICS!!! Kind of continuing from the first sentence, Puppycat and Bee love each other(I Stand By Platonically For Them) so much already, for them it’s been a little over a year considering Puppycat fell into Bee’s life before her last birthday and now they’re celebrating another one. And I must admit, I can not for the life of me figure out wtf the deal is with the tears. They have little shapes of recent events in them and they make plants weird/straight up just make life! Like, What Even Is That?! Also, Cardamon finally gets a good sleep.

Bird Friend

Ok, so we got more ship pieces, a most likely reason as to why Puppycat was Like That in the last few episodes of season 1 and has been goopy every now and again in this season. Apparently eating things he shouldn’t eat make him Extremely off model and goopy. More hands! But not the rest of them this time around. I wonder if Sticky’s hunt for all the birds has any significance other than showing us another piece. Puppycat breaking down and spilling a few secrets after stress eating off the floor and Bee immediately saying no to someone else telling her what’s wrong with Puppycat and letting him come to her first instead of forcing him is always such a good lesson to have. Also, Cass is into weirdly shaped shiny things.

Two Clown Noses

Ah, it’s this one. The one that Really throws a wrench into the Bee/Deckard ship. THEY’RE BOTH SO CUTE! I CAN’T CHOOSE!!! This entire episode is just Crispin and Bee hanging out with the added angst of the beginning ‘story’. This world is full of such amazingly crazy characters and Crispin’s backstory is one of those crazier ones. Bee and him Lived Together and Know Each Other, he knows she’s a robot! My only question is, what happened that they broke up? WAIT- DID THEY EVEN BREAK UP?! It would be weird if they weren’t because they were living together and then they decide to live separate again would make no sense. I think I just jumped to the weirdest conclusion...Anyway! How would Puppycat get sick? I feel like that was just another thing they added to create different dynamics. The beginning birthday thing and the conclusion felt so real even though the cause was something so out there that I feel like only animated shows like this could pass, but also I feel like someone out there has done something similar, so what do I know. Yeah, not much else about this episode, it was mostly just Bee/Crispin stuff and character stuff. Gosh they’re so cute...but so is Bee/Deckard. Being a multishipper is hard...

Funny Lying

RIGHT! THEY’RE CALLED THE WARLOCKS! THAT’S THE TITLE I WAS FORGETTING! Tim knows everyone’s secrets, comes with the perk of having a lot of time and not talking much, you observe everyone else while they think you’re doing something else. I know from experience. Eavesdropping is a specialty of mine. SHIT THIS IS THE ONE WHERE CASS GETS THE MESSAGE DISSING HER FOR FALLING FOR TOAST FROM A COWORKER! I caught those vibes during the first season, but then the first half of this season came along and I was forced to drop those vibes in favor of cannon because TOAST WAS PREGOS WITH ONE OF CASS’S BROTHER’S KIDS! I’m good at catching gay vibes in fictional worlds, but I’m shit in the real world, just like everything else. And the thing is, we don’t get Any kind of explanation/closure for the entire rest of the season! We see Toast totally shocked reaction, probably moments before she was going to sneak attack Cass, but froze upon seeing that text. AND WE GET NOTHING ABOUT THAT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON! Anyway, that was only like 2 minutes into the ep, this is taking forever. We got more Bee being responsible for Cardamon and getting rid of the tears, but the biggest part of this episode is undoubtedly Puppycat’s scenes. We got him sinking to the bottom of the ocean and getting cradled by flowers created by the tears next to the ship. We find out he was bullied and ridiculed in school as a kid and his best friend(idk what else they would be counted as), Violet, convinced him to leave their planet after they accidently summon their ship, leaving Puppycat’s mother behind. seeing how he cried about leaving her she seems to have been a great caretaker and he loved her immensely. We get the scene of Bee’s dad as a baby/Very young child on a mission, giving a presentation, and finding the candy to be a source of energy by cracking it open. Making me think, ‘Is that Bee’s fuel source? If it is, how would not taking full doses for two years effect her?’ because in the first season she splits the candy in half to share with Puppycat and in this season she didn’t eat the candy at all. Makes me even more worried for the future knowing what state she’s in when this season ends. With the last flower fever dream/memory it seems that the princess that he fell in love with was the one to make the final move to turning him into a ‘monster.’ Don’t worry tho, Bee saved him from the bottom of the ocean 

Golden Eyes

(I’m getting more and more tired as this goes one. I started doing this at around 12 this morning and now it’s nearing 6 pm. I’m loosing it!) We got another birthday and it’s Howl’s this time, though it’s not really his episode. The fish are attracted to the wish crystals for some reason and one eats a bit of it to be ‘human’ for a day. I love how the fish hated being a human and Weasley didn’t even notice it was a date. I don’t know if it was or not, but ending on that was funny. We got the return of the major douche from the season 1 finally and a mention of Moully. 

Why Don’t You Help Me?

(I took a break between episodes, aka I went tf to sleep, because I was falling asleep at the table and not really processing everything enough for what I’m trying to do) Ok, so this is a day in the life of Cardamon episode with supposed parelles to the Warlocks. We start with the red one stuck and the others unwilling to help...and then they start drawing Puppycat’s face on the 5th one’s corpse and these guys just do not care that it’s a dead body that they supposedly killed themselves. In short, they have all my fear because they are uncaring about body counts. Cardamon still goes to school on top of being a self proclaimed landlord and gets made fun of for being responsible and tattling at every chance he gets. Something I just noticed too is, at first I just assumed he was finally getting tired after being an adult in a child’s body for who knows how long, but now I’m thinking if he’s supposed to be asleep with Violet, his mom, then the reason for him being so tired is being awake too long. It could most likely be both, too. Just like Cardamon, I have no idea what all the tears mean. In the most recent one was see Moully as the charm in the center. What’s the pattern with these? Again we see Bee being responsible and taking care of Cardamon, making sure he gets home safe, tucking him in, and pulling an all night favor so he can sleep and get to school in the morning. Speaking of that, I can’t say I like Cardamon’s teachers all that much. I could rant about them, but this is already long and they’re not worth it. My only real question is, why the hell are their clothes so ragged and dirty? Do they not know how to bathe? Just, WTF? (either that or they’re Really not trying to hide their *ahem* activities from the kids, which just makes me want to punch sense into them or something)

Now I’m Really Alone

MOULLY!!!! Sorry, I just love him a lot. From what I can put together, he’s some kind of gift giving being. Giving wishes, exchanging good deeds and quick favors for other good deeds and favors. Just being Really nice and wanting to help everyone he comes across. This episode makes me see so much in common between Bee and Moully. They both want to help even when they don’t know how. Making messes and finding ways clean up those messes out of guilt and the feeling of obligation. They both have lost things they need to pick up and the knowledge that they have all the time in the world because they’ve both been alive for so long. It keeps getting hinted, but now kind of confirmed, that the Wizard’s know Bee is Weird because they haven’t seen her age. Hell, seeing how she interacts with Cardamon she could have even baby sat them. So all the Wizard’s know she’s Weird and, supposedly, only Crispin knew she was a robot. That was until Deckard found out in the season 1 finally. Once again bringing up the point of people in the Wizard family finding something out and ignoring it and hiding it. In the season 1 finally, Tim asked Cass if Deckard wasn’t depressed anymore, practically saying that Deckard has some form of depression. Depression being a mental illness that runs in families, it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that some other members of the family have similar problems. One of the things I remember depression doing is the person will see a problem and ignore it. Something that many people in this show do with the weirdness around them and the emotional states/situations of the other people in the show. This season is about finally seeing the thing you’ve been ignoring and doing something about it. And that’s what Bee’s been doing this season, taking charge and finally getting her junk out of the ocean and getting REALLY far out of her comfort zone. She HATES water and the ocean, but she’s diving in to take back what’s hers and cleaning up a mess. There’s A Lot to analyze with this episode, the similarities of Moully’s and Bee’s situations and personalities, Puppycat being the responsible one again for the long run of things, the tears and how the wish crystals work, and the state of multiple character’s minds. Ignorance is bliss until it isn’t.

I Won’t Leave You Alone

Ok, SO MANY NOTES! Which makes sense seeing how it’s the last episode. First off, THOSE WARLOCK BASTDARDS VIOLATED MOULLY AND IF THEY WERE REAL I WOULD THROTLE THEM TILL THEIR HEADS POPPED OFF!!! I am a very protective person when it comes to things I care about. And I’m going to say it here and now incase something comes up of it, Cooking Prince gives be Colorful Vibes, if you know what I mean. You don’t follow someone home and bother them when they don’t want to be bothered unless you’re Into into them. That’s all I’m saying and if nothing comes of it, I will drop it. I’m barely hanging onto it to begin with. So, last episode we watched one of three hands punching the other hands to let Moully go, and in this episode it’s confirmed that the day Moully was pulled through the void, the 5th warlock died. My theory with that is, the 5th one was against getting Puppycat in some way and retaliated by fighting them off of Moully and then the others retaliated by killing them in some way. And the tears in this episode didn’t give life to the corpse, but grew new life over top of it, the tears can’t bring the dead back. The ship gets put back together and we see Puppycat being pretty selfish again, bringing the ship online while Bee gets scooped trying to help Moully. He indirectly helped, but only after he got what he wanted. Cooking Prince, an outsider, brings up how everything going on on the island is Weird and Cass celebrates someone acknowledging it. Once again, bringing back the ‘ignorance is bliss until it’s not’ thing going on around here. Cardamon does more childish things this episode, making a wish and crying in his mother’s arms. He got to finally let go of his responsibilities and let it out until he passed out, and now he gets to sleep again. Moully and Bee are out of commission and the Wizard’s+Cooking Prince stay one the island/ship to be with Bee even though they are mostly confused about EVERYTHING going on rn. Bee has multiple Bees now while she’s out, and so, they go looking for Bee’s dad. I have a feeling he has at least some white hairs by now.

I remember watching this season for the first time. I remember I definitely cried at multiple points, but I can’t exactly remember what points now. I didn’t cry this time, I was too busy taking everything in and trying to put what little pieces I could find together. The first season was to get us used to this world and get comfortable for a chill ride, but then it smacks you in the face with something much bigger at the very end. This season was to make you pay more attention and to question your surroundings. It was also about the first steps to taking charge of your life. If Bee didn’t do all the responsible things she did this season, the warlocks would have probably gotten Puppycat while the island went to shambles. Actions have consequences and that’s what this was about. I believe next season is why ‘Lazy in Space’ was the title. The characters are going to be in space, looking for Bee’s dad, and will acknowledge all the weird things going on while developing, excuse the pun, in out of this world ways. 

I can’t wait for season 3.

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic