#idk why i always give long replies sorry 💀

[sungbeam]

hello i am throwing rocks at your window (a la ain't no romeo hj (i have not yet finished reading said title)) and also scaling the walls and eating cobwebs bc by reading rescue protocol i reverted back to the Kevin Moon Brainrot™️ of '21,,, this is by no means your fault (it is, how dare you make me fall in love with kevin for the second time) but honestly that fic changed my Brain Chemistry, like i cannot wait to open my laptop so i can finally rb it with tags 🤩🤩🤩

anw while i'm here i NEED you to know that i am ITCHING to finish reading anr but i can't just yet bc as i said it's midterms szn for me so i'm basically making your series a reward HSJSDG

thank you for thinking about us moonlights (he is SO friends to lovers coded) and for making my heart clench at least 5 times in the span of 29k words

idk if i will be able to survive the chanhee and juhak ones but i am looking forward to more of your works (passes out)

omg pls i like how u say u haven't finished anr yet but u know abt the rock throwing HAHAHA but hello hello skfbskjf thank u sm for this ask chip, i literally saw it during my lecture just now and nearly forgot to actually, uhm,, pay attention LMAOO PLS DONT EAT COBWEBS those things r nasty, but kevin moon brainrot is not nasty 😋😋 i am so happy i could reignite that flame within u >:))

KSJDKSKDKD PLS I DIDNT REALIZE HOW MANY PEOPLE R ALREADY IN EXAM SZN 😭 i forget that my school is just late </3 but good luck and good skills on exams 😼✊🏼 u got this!! liu is not going anywhere haha

kevin moon is deffo f2l coded like how could u not wanna be friends w that man??? and then slowly fall in love w each other until there's nothing else to do but exchange vows— but im glad to have contributed to the sad and barren state of kevin moon tumblr 😭💔 one day, i will contribute even more. there r so many things i have for him wasting away in drafts... maybe /i/ need to start eating cobwebs o_o

bro chanhee's and juhak's........ im sure you'll be fine 😁😁😁 uhm haha *scratches head* ANYWAYS looking forward to what u think abt the remainder of anr as well !! i remember seeing ur rb of ,,, party people??? but yes, it was so nice talking to u chip, good luck on exams!! 💖💖💖

[squigglypatties]

Lost.

Pairs: Jill Valentine X Fem!Reader

Summary: You lost your phone the same day you broke up with Jill. You found it 8 years later after you saw it on an ebay post.

Characs made up: Bea, Laurel and Naomi

Characs mentioned: Chris and Claire Redfield, Leon Kennedy and Rebecca Chambers

Disclaimer! I do not own any of the characters mentioned below.

Author notes: I found the inspo on tiktok 💀💀 this will probs be short idk. Credits to : @/shualvrbf on tiktok!!!

*Friend's groupchat*

Y/N - "OMG GUYS GUESS WHAT."

Naomi - "WHAT?"

Bea - "what is it?"

Laurel - "What mistake did you do again"

Y/N - "You're so mean Laurel. I didn't do anything."

Laurel - "So what the hell are we supposed to guess?"

Y/N - "Right. So you guys know about the phone I lost like, years ago, right?"

Bea - "Did you find it?"

Y/N - "YESS!!"

Naomi - "How did you even find it? Didn't you lose that phone 8 years ago???"

Laurel - "Maybe she stole it cuz she thought it was her phone. 😂"

Y/N - "I found it on ebay. 🥲"

Bea - "Maybe it was just a lookalike."

Laurel - "lol I agree"

Y/N - "I haven't checked it yet, hold on. 😭"

Laurel - " 'kay whatever."

Naomi - "Didn't you lose that the same day you broke up with.. uhmm"

Bea - "Looks like someone's having deja vu 😂"

Y/N - "It was already 8 years ago 🙄 besides, I already moved on 😝"

Laurel - "Lol, who are you fooling?"

Bea - "Herself!! Obviously 😂"

You got curious as you were checking it out, you tried opening the phone, but it was already dead. Fortunately, you still had your old charger, and it worked!

After you finally opened the phone, you suddenly received alot of notifs coming from a user, "My Valentine ♡"

You remembered that you forgot to explain why you guys had broken up. And for that, you tried backreading through the conversation until it reached her last message to you.

Aug 18 2016, 01:43AM

Y/N - "I'm really sorry Jill, I can't handle this anymore."

Y/N - "You never have time for me anymore, and I'm getting sick of it."

Y/N - "I still love you but I just can't do this anymore!"

Y/N - "Don't bother trying to knock on my door. I already moved into another apartment."

Y/N - "Goodbye, Jill."

Aug 19 2016, 00:46AM

Jill - "Love, I'm so sorry if I replied late."

Jill - "Baby, please. Let's talk this out"

Jill - "M'love please let me explain."

(Missed call from Jill)

(Missed call from Jill)

(Missed call from Jill)

Jill - "Please Y/N.. let's talk.."

Jill - "I won't give up trying to talk to you, Just please Y/N."

Jill - "I can't live without you.."

Dec 19 2016, 10:43AM

Jill - "Hi love, I'm sorry if I couldn't reach out to you these past few months."

Jill - "I've been busy with my work."

Jill - "Y/N please. Come back to me. It's so lonely here without you.."

Jan 01 2017, 01:43AM

Jill - "Hi love! Happiest new year for you and your family."

Jill - "I couldn't really enjoy my new year because you're not here."

Jill - "I miss you so bad. I'm still longing for your presence and attention."

Jill - "Please. Come back to me my love."

And from that day on, Jill would always chat and chat you daily. Talking about her day, what happened at work, what she did during the day and night.

Feb 14 2017, 10:43AM

Jill - "Heyyy. Happy valentines day m'love!"

Jill - "I can still remember how you always teased me on valentine's day because of my last name."

Jill - "I would always laugh at your sill puns and all.."

Jill - "To be honest, I can't enjoy any holidays without you."

Jill - "You've always made me the happiest and I.."

Jill - "I really miss you, Y/N.."

Jill - "Life's so hard without you.."

Sept 16 2017, 14:03AM

Jill - "Hi love! Just wanna talk about my day."

Jill - "Today, I actually enjoyed alot!"

Jill - "Chris and Claire noticed me being gloomy these past few months so they took me out to a funfair!"

Jill - "It was so funny hearing Chris scream so loud 😂"

Jill - "Still, even though they took me out, I couldn't really enjoy it as much because you weren't there.."

Jill - "I miss you so much M'love. I'm still waiting for you."

[Insert birthday], 09:26AM

Jill - "Hi, love. It's your birthday today!"

Jill - "I bought a cake for you lol."

Jill - "I know, it's stupid because you weren't here.."

Jill - "I gave some to Chris, Claire, Leon and Rebecca!"

Jill - "I can't finish that whole cake all by myself"

Jill - "They have a vm for you!!"

[VM : (Chris, Claire, Leon and Rebecca: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!) Leon: Jill misses you so much by the way. Leon: Ow! What was that for Chris?-] VM ENDED

Jill - "Sorry for that."

Jill - "It's true though.. I still miss you alot.."

Jill - "come back to me.. please..?"

You're almost done after reading all of Jill's messages. You've reached the bottom and as you read her messages, something doesn't seem right..

Aug 19 2022, 04:31AM

Jill - "Hi love! I'm getting ready for a new mission."

Jill - "Honestly, I'm getting kinda nervous about this mission."

Jill - "Claire told me that we we're going on an island called "Alcatraz"

Jill - "I have to go. I love and miss you so much!"

Jill - "If anything ever happens, just know that I loved you, even at my very last breath."

You we're getting nervous as to why that was her last message. You we're curious about what happened so you searched up on google

You found out there was a virus that spread around the island and there we're only 4 survivors.

Chris

Leon

Claire

And Rebecca.

As tears we're dropping off your eyes, you desperately try to find her name. Jill's name. You tried to reread the survivors list names alot of times.

What happened apparently was that, she got caught up in the satchel bag full of explosives that was supposed to kill the monster. She sadly didn't cut the Satchel's holder on time.

[fitzrove]

Ajkdlsld nobody asked for this extremely long misogyny rant but

😭😭 why is society so shit w rampant misogyny everywhere (most painfully, from other women) skkslsls. Reading the replies on that makeup post i reblogged and being chronically online in general is pissing me off lmao

Disclaimer: lol obviously this is all intersectional, like there are lots of ways in which I am extremely privileged (white/European/from a stereotypically desirable "educated, trustworthy, well-behaved, high tech" country/cisgender/able-bodied/neurotypical/privileged economic class etc etc). Doesn't mean the points outlined below don't apply to many women in relation to men who are in their otherwise same demographic

Things that I like about being a woman:

- my body (well don't always like it but don't want to change anything djkdkdj)

- being a lesbian

- being friends with other women (is easier) & not perceived as threatening by them in random interactions

- feeling "special" in some situations where i'm trailblazing or achieving something in a guy-dominated space, especially when other people point that out

- most interests i have/could think of having have no stigma attached to them that would make it difficult for me to pursue them. also corsets and ballgowns etc femme goth fashion pieces being societally 100% acceptable for me to wear in some situations and not even fringe

Things I don't like about being a woman:

- sexual harassment

- being talked over

- wage and employment discrimination

- basic misogyny shit like being expected to have children and take responsibility for all the people around you

- violent heteronormativity (obviously still hurts non straight men but hurts women more because the world feels so entitled to our bodies)

- having to worry about straight guy friends and acquaintances (esp classmates)' intentions (sadly its not stigmatised enough for people to be pushy w women so i get scared pre-emptively :/)

- SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS FOR APPEARANCE AND COERCIVELY ENFORCED GENDER CONFORMING FEMININITY GRAAHHHHH going to kill every fashion beauty health etc company :) i don't care if doing it makes you personally happier or more confident you know where else conformity makes you powerful? politically oppressive dictatorships<3

- women friends (classmates) whose idea of girl talk is to alternately complain about and fawn over men through a sexual/romantic lens and evaluate them as potential partners, and who take my refusal to participate in this as personal rejection/rudeness and pull away from me as a friend because of it

- existence being political 24/7. no i cant ignore that its just always there

- dating (thats shit for everyone but there are specific annoying lesbian dating experiences such as: MEN EVERYWHERE not just unicorn seeker couples but he/him guys on women's apps, astrology truthers, people with bad haircuts HDJJDJD sorry i'm so mean i just hate the "berlin fringe" soooo much, etc.) and the chance that people you meet won't even take dating you seriously because society prioritises f/m so hard. its messed up because it presupposes unequal division of labour but i wish i could be like an esteemed jrr tolkien type 1950s professor and just be super in love with my wife with whom i'm settled down somewhere picturesque. But I don't think you can get a relationship like that as a queer woman because 1) obviously equality lol idk who even wants that and is not a tradwife 😭💀 2) most women who would like that probably don't think a female partner can give them that :/. Girlies literally be yearning for the masculine societal role because of the associated privileges

- Men being inherently perceived as "good guys" "chill" etc. in mixed academic/professional environments and always taken seriously intellectually, women seen in a more patronizing way/easily perceived as hysterical/a bitch/deficient in some other way

- men being praised to high heavens for doing the bare minimum vs women being always expected to be outstanding people by default

- pick me girl/not like other girls/etc discourse. This keeps happening and nobody ever learns that its dumb 😭

- men being seen as better deeper artists and male historical figures/intellectuals holding universal appeal whereas women rarely got to do anything interesting OR if they did they always get diminished and ignored (largely because media doesn't pick up these stories to highlight). none of you would care about crown prince rudolf if she had been a girl irl and i wouldn't either because often w female historical figures we're expected to care first and foremost about their romantic relationships with men💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 if girls have thoughts about foreign policy 1) they usually couldnt voice them before like 1900s 2) their entire existence and life story from cleopatra to margaret thatcher (yeah evil person but still) is tinged by misogyny from all sides (opponents, allies) which makes for pretty unappealing Content to engage with

- periods LMAO

- strangers feeling entitled to bump into me and get in my personal space (public transport etc)

- the way some feminist activism treats women as a monolith. like all that discourse about how society is not built for women's tiny fragile bodies. Like yeah important point ofc but I fucking hate being erased from existence as a tall woman. you bet if this was being done to short men there would be outcry

- in general people feeling entitled to me and receiving help and advice from me without giving anything in return. sorry i feel like this is just turning into a vaguepost abt classmates

- online queer discourse where there seems to be not a lot of space for this line of thinking that I have?? This is NOT intended as transphobic or even directed at trans people (rather the general community), but sometimes i feel like only trans people are ""entitled"" to hate their pre-transition assigned social role and everyone else has to like it because #girl power and otherwise it's just internalized misogyny or at the very least you misogynistically hating other women for being happy with their position/choices

- i'm tired of typing this is such an embarrassing post tbh

[lipglossanon]

i’m sorry i was gone for so long i thought my episode was better but life my depression fucked me in the ass with a cactus and no lube lmao but someone asked about priest leon and it triggered my writing urges again, i can’t promise consistency but i can promise he will fill you with something more than the holy spirit, i can’t tell you about the second coming cumming of christ but i can tell you about the third and fourth, he’s probably so happy being cooped up in the woods with no one else and i can really see him just having the unholiest vhs porn collection from like the 70s to 80s and a tiny ass tv that works in like one corner of the chapel and god does it echo so just imagine him being so unruffled by someone accidentally interrupting his self care and it’s the prettiest woman he’s ever seen the only woman he’s seen in months and he’s so eager to help you he just ~accidentally~ makes your car troubles worse and just ~accidentally~ has only one bed available and oops guess we have to share 🤭 he’s so touch starved and giving dark stepdaddy leon energy just noncon all the way, you wake up with him in you while being choked by the rosary he always keeps on and he’s just praying over your fucked out limp body and starts murmuring while kissing away your tears because he’s too big but he accidentally totally not on purpose slips it in the wrong hole and tears you causing you to bite down on his hand he shoves in your mouth while you scream but he doesn’t stop despite how tight your asshole is he just uses your blood as lube to make it less friction-y for him and he says he can’t get someone out to help with your car so you’re stuck with him for weeks and he’s does shit like hide your clothes so you’re either naked or in his clothes ugh 😩 i could ramble for ages about older priest leon 🤭

- 💀

(real dad leon has had me in a chokehold, pun intended, since my depressive episode started like imagine your parents got divorced and you’re spending the summer with your dad who’s getting paid leave because claire can’t believe he actually wants to spend time with his family totally not why readers mom divorced him and he sees you in bikini for the first time to just absolutely loose his shit and spend the entire time in the kitchen because the sliding glass door is the closest he can get to you without wanting to rail you and you notice your bikini goes missing before you do your laundry and he catches you snooping through his room to try and find it so he has to punish you 🫣 idk how rough he would be but i feel like i’ve sent enough asks in for the idea of what i would want to be there jsit insyert anything dark stepdaddy leon would do lol, i’ve also read your more recent fics and they’re so good!!!!! i love stepbro leon i would love to see more mean older stepbro leon who just bullies reader even in front of their parents and doesn’t even hide his arousal when he makes you cry like him pulling really sexual jokes and pranks on you to humiliate you because he can tell you like him 👀)

💀 anon!!!!!!! 🤩 🤩 welcome back!!! 💜

It has been many moons since you’ve been here!! I’m sorry that depression is getting to you, sending you lots of hugs!!! 🫂

Will put a cut as this reply gets long AF 🤣

AHSJGL 🫣 not him getting caught watching some cheesy porno 🤭 ugh just waking up with him already buried in your pussy is making my head 🥴 like maybe you were a little flirty with him after you saw him in such compromising way (and he’s not bad on the eyes 😜)

But it’s still unexpected when you wake up to feeling uncomfortably full, pussy stretched out and pulsing around his cock as he ruts into you slowly 😵‍💫 and he’s just telling you how well you’re taking it, how hot and wet you are, how much he needed this soft pussy wrapped around his dick 🥴

Painal (I think that’s what that is right? Ugh I probably should google it but I don’t wanna see the results 🤣) is 50/50 for me 🫣 it’s hot but at the same time I’m like drawing my body inward cause ouchie 😆 but him not caring and just needing to use a hole to cum? 🥵 yes please 🫣

AGSJVL not dad Leon getting mad when reader correctly guesses he took her bikini 🤭 ugh I love mean Leon so much so I’m kinda with you on that 😉 loves to spank her if she gets out of line; like makes her take her panties off so he can spank her bare ass 🥴 doesn’t matter that you’re too old for it; he’s still your dad and it’s his house

Mean stepbro!! I’ve made him softer as I keep writing him 😅 he can’t help it, he just loves reader now 😝

But yes, he’s the kind of bully who definitely puts his hand down on the couch cushion before you sit so he’s groping your ass/pussy before you jump up. Laughs it off to your parents in the room saying it was a joke. Pinches your nipples as he passes by you, playing it off as trying to pinch your side 🫣

[ta-ni-ya]

I’m sorry that I constantly want to talk to you

I’m sorry that when you take to long to reply I get sad

I’m sorry that I might say things that pi$$ you off

I’m sorry that I might come off as annoying

I’m sorry if you don’t wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you

I’m sorry if I think about you too much and too often.

I’m sorry if I tell you about pointless drama when you don’t really care

I’m sorry if I come off as clingy but it’s just that…

You’re one of the only people I can talk to about my interests, one of the only people that don’t call me weird for liking anime as you like it too, one of the only people who don’t look at my drawings and go ‘that’s bad, what the hell did you draw’ or ‘why the hell did you draw that’.

AHHEOOOEOWOQOQ I WILL FKING CRYYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ok I will say it with the flow-

I don't mind nor do I stop anyone- literally anyone from talking to me! Ahhhhh you can talk to me anytime you want!

There are so many sorrys I can't- please never apologize for what you're feeling and I'm so glad that you opened up to me I did not know I was making you feel that way- as I said I was busy for a whole day that's why my replies were late I'm sorry babeee 😭🤧

You're definitely not pi$$ing me off bae- you're making me cry when I read this ahhhhrkjakqejebeb

You're not annoying 😭😭 I was honestly happy that you tagged me in your oc art challenge thing

Oh shut up I definitely want to talk to you wdym 🥰 feel free to message me whenever you want ;)

Girl- I love drama 👀 and let me tell you- I'm clingy af irl so what you're saying is really just something I love 😤

Yk I so glad you actually said this- I would've never known 😭 pleaseeeee feel free to randomly talk to me anytime! I will always try my best to reply asap and this goes to all my other moots too 🤧 and tbh- who ever thinks liking anime is weird- they're weird themselves and idc about them cuz it's ok to like something and if the other person doesn't agree they should just stay quiet if they dont got anything better to say. And like I said, every artist has its own way and being myself an artist I know how it goes from start lol- I was terrible at it but that doesn't mean I can criticize others without them asking for it- i can simply just give tips right? Honestly your art is amazing I dont ever wanna say bad about any art unless the artist asks for some mistakes in it- though I'm not professional or something too but atleast I can help with what I know right?

All I want to say is thank you! And please don't say sorry too much idk how to handle that 💀 I feel bad ok-

[itsdelicate]

sorry this is late but hiiii!!

YES exactly omg like when i wanted to get into f+tm it took me forever to choose smth to listen to first so i just asked a friend what to listen to. yea ur absolutely right. she did she did and then acted like it isnt one of the most addictive songs on her discography??? when i first heard the bridge i thought she said he looks so pretty like a devil and that did me in but the actual lyric is everything too lmao YES hey taylor just make the longest album all a bunch of 10 mins song thanks babe lol

omg thatd be so fun!! they came to my country and we totally missed it and my mom was so sad ab it like she was all "why didnt you tell me they were coming" lmaodsjk and i wouldve loved to go as well. aww its ur "i thought they were boo-ing me" sorta moment (thats the first thing that came to me lmao). YES which is why im trying to get into other artists cause soon im going to have listened the hell out of all the discographies of my fav artists djskmdlm

HAHAH yea good thing taylor is a master of putting depressing lyrics together w dancey beats akmddsnm i love slow sad songs cause of my mom i think cause she played those slow whitney houston and celine dion songs on repeat when i was younger lol

yea dont fall for the peer pressure to watch them its a lot and not so amazing anyways lol. i mean yea but some of the plot is bit iffy for me like the cultural roots of the whole avatar people and that dash of white saviour stuff in the first movie so its like eh.

OHH okok glad u had fun!! well i went to my grandmas in the weekend and went out w my cousins yesterday which was loads of fun!! def wanna do that again soon. wbu? did anything kinda fun or even pretty lame or really just anything lol

omg im actually a bit in the middle for me! lol like i do like it but its not smth i listen to as much as most of her other songs. it is!! im def never doing a whole ranking lmaokdwk OOH yesyes i love lwymmd since the mv like i thought it was the most iconic thing ever when i watched it and i wasnt even a fan at the time. ooh def closure!! i could not listen to it at first then after a long while i went back to it and tried to listen to it like the first time and LOVED IT!!! now shes everything to me and i will defend her w my life <3

how's ur day been? any little things in it that made u happy?

xxx ur secret santa

ahhh my reply’s late too that’s alright!! i’ve been working on assignments, very upsetting that it’s back to reality now 🥲

oooh that’s a great way to get into music! honestly only one of my friend’s is a big music lover so i never get recs from anyone except her ahsjd omg same i thought that was the lyric as well! no literally like give me a 10 min version of the great war,,,,

oh nooo it would’ve been so fun!! are you a big concert person? shdkf it was Exactly like that i thought they were laughing cause i was bad at singing or something 💀 i always end up switching from whichever album i’ve been playing non-stop! i just saw & juliet the musical last week so for now it’s the soundtrack instead of midnights hehe

sad bops are so good 😌 oooh very fair! what was your very first album you got on your own?

noted 😭 oh oof tbh idk what the avatar movies are about at all except that they’re blue msjfkf

aw that’s lovely!! i saw the life of pi play and & juliet last week and then also went to the zoo which was for my assignment (i study animal welfare) but also a nice day out 🥰

i want to like it more it’s such a fun song but idk why i just shdjf lover is my lowest ranked album although some of its individual songs are my fav! it’ll take the whole of 2023 to do an entire ranking tbh 😭 i think taylor can make a whole album faster than i’d be able to rank all her songs lmao omg yess and the mv whew, ooh yeah!! a lot of people didn’t like the “clanging pots and pans” LOL but it’s great!!

my day’s been good! i tried out a new recipe today and it was really successful so i’m pleased 😌 wbu!!

[chogiwow]

dude so i saw ur reply last night but i was in desperate need of sleep but also didn't sleep bc i was just engrossed in a book IVDSNS BUT this morning i opened up my inbox and couldnt find ur reply and was so confused and as i continued to be unable to find it in my inbox i got sadder and then i realised im stupid bc the reply wouldn't be in my inbox 🧍‍♂️anyways semi-long reply sorry hehe (semi-long bc ive defs sent longer ones)

ahh i see i see @ substack. reminds me of medium, which i've come across before... i did debate exploring medium as another writing platform, but never got around to it vsjnvks so its nice that u bring substack to my attention bc now i can compare 🤩 well. maybe not now now but yknow. whenever i decide to/can get around to it NVJDKNSK

100% agree w and have had the same thoughts as you about fics/continuing to write/the pub industry (which i really should give much more thought to, given that one of my degrees is in writing🧍‍♂️) and yeah no it DOES serve as a good incentive to build a portfolio (if anyone asked me for a portfolio, i would simply hand over my uni work bc i have nothing else rn LMAO) but tbh i think even if it is a hobby, it's a good way to kinda explore and set your ??? idk like foundations or whatever so you get an idea of what you wanna write about and if you actually wanna take it seriously (which isn't to say you aren't - we can 100% take hobbies seriously - just that different contexts/intents would call for different. things. wow i love words.)

and also related but unrelated, i think its fun/nice to. uh. idk how to say it but for us (as in literally you and me, but also other mutuals and people in fandom who made friends in the context of fandom) to see eachother write or talk about things outside of the uniting factor or common denominator or whatever? though yeah that does kinda potentially extend the relationship beyond what some people are comfy w. i'm kinda just rambling rn sorry AHHA

OH BUT BUT sorry back to the publishing/career thing. Even if you don't use the substack writings for like. writing/publishing careers, it can still help with other career things? like, you run a blog and hav experience writing about diverse topics, communicating ideas etcetc. so no losses 🤩

do not feel guilty about the chan fic 🙂‍↔️ yes i love/d it and i think about it and yes i would love to read more BUT im so happy to have just been eble to experience it at all. i hope you've never felt pressured by my responses to it KNVDSKJNVDSK sincerest of apologies if you have.

tbh i havent been up to much, i don't think. shits kinda hit the fan tbh but i'm hoping (always hoping) the only other place for the shit to go is down, now. (ie. i hope this is the part where things start getting easier etc). it is what it is, even if it shouldn't be, and we'll somehow get through it because. well, we have so far, right? BUT ANYWAYS

"anything you wanna yap about-" BOY do i have things to yap about. that book^^ i was so engrossed in? jesus CHRIST i sent my friend 10mins worth of voicemsgs JNCDKSNDSK (it may have been 10mins because i simply i can't articulate properly and kept repeating myself and going off on tangents.. but it probably would have been 10mins anyways if i'd planned and scripted it all before hand anyways. it was only 10mins because i got tired and realised i should probably see how much ive spammed 💀) ("kat... 10 whole minutes? 😭" babes thats not even the worst of it-)

i also like to 'yap' about the stuff i learn in class (my other degree/major is in media and cultural studies) and i just 🤩 have so much to say about some things that i find so so interesting but me talking as much as i do/want to is also just. i find it interesting and really wanna share and talk about it KJNVDSKJVNSK so like yeah, to bring this full circle, is why i've vaguely thought about using medium/substack,,, tbh i thought about just making a sideblog here AHAHA but i cant take myself on tumblr seriously LOL + 'fresh' start on new platform sounds neat mhm mhm but also hehehe (evil) maybe instead of spamming my friend about stuff, i can just write blog posts and she can read it whenever hMMMM thinking thinking,,,

anyways 🧍‍♂️sorry, i was expectin this to be long but it ended up longer than i thought it would HAHA wait no im rereading my ask/reply rn and substack just sounds great bc i can do informal reviews about things i've watched/read aswell AHHHH and yeah like just ??? more personal though explorations/'journaling' kinda vibes as well? HMMM AND and even mini writing pieces--- i literally do not have the time to be considering this rn but here i am wHOOPS okay i'll stop now before this gets even longer 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

hi katttt, i'm so sorry for the late reply :'D apparently i'm in the phase of my life where i can only type out articulated replies on my laptop and not my phone, also week's been sooo hectic i hate being a corporate slave fml <3

lmfao not you tryna find my reply in your inbox sdjskd all's good tho hehe :3ooh medium is ... something, i couldn't really figure it out all that well and also the few times i've tried to read on medium, it's asked me to subsribe or sign up to continue to read? and i just don't ... vibe with that lol

yes yes, tryna write about real life stuff really makes me pause once in a while and just think (?) it through bc writing fiction is gen easier than trying to string together the raw ideas relating irl issues/stuff (for me at least). like it really makes me stop midway and rethink my choice of phrasing stuff or even putting forward an opinion thinking about how its gonna make people percieve me? well, not that its not sumn that doesn't apply to fiction as well bc i kinda think that the way one writes always just brings about some sort of perception of their character and personal views through their words, no matter how subtle ... am i making sense? but fictional writing just lets you cloak it into a 'what-if' situation where any judgement of your story/character(s) is not a direct discernment of your personal opinions whereas talking about irl stuff always comes with that concious load of having your opinions/thoughts being obligated to a verdict (positive/negative/both).

so anywayyy sjhdj, yes it's fun to just write and pursue as a hobby bc its fun communiatingideas and realise that it might not be all that irrelevant as you thought haha :>

and noooo, i absolutely love love LOVE reading yout tags on my fics, like i legit go back to my old writings and read the rb tags and it always makes me so happy :( i do want to continue writing fiction bc its always been a comfort to me to be able to weave stories my way, but i suppose everything has its own time to unfold and settle ... sometimes inspiration hits so bad but the will to write it out is just not there :/ but anyway ! i'm glad that you've enjoyed my writing so far <3

yeah, things don't don't need to work out all the time. i'm realising this the hard way, through adulting. really makes me wanna go back and give my younger self a good whooping on the ass to have ever wanted to grow up fast so desperately. but yeah, hope your shit works out man (✿◡‿◡)

lmaoooo no bc ! its so fun to just simply yap about stuff , that's like writing but ... verbally ,,, you could litch rally make a yap blog and i'd read it alllllll :3 also what book is this, drop the nameeeee :'D no but like i get you not being able to take tumblr seriously bc i was like ! i can't talk about this shit on tumblr ! tumblr's supposed to be for my clownery ! all the grownup stuff needs a different platform altogether sjsdksjd but if you ever consider making a blog, i think i'll read it fo the vibes itself. and the words ofc and opinions and stuff. like that's important too gaaaahhhhh what i'm saying is ,, i think you'd make a really amusing and entertaining blog - in a good way !!

anyway ! i think i needed a medium to unscramble the crap in my brain so the blog served well (even though it was an impulsive decision lol) but yeah ! go for it, you won't regret it. nobody really gaf's in the beginning, like readership is low babes, unless you have friends who will actively read your shit but that's a big comfort to me lololol. not sicouraging you in anyway, but its a point to consider if you're looking for a chill sesh with your own writing haha <3

[s0larb4by]

Dude, I hate life so much right now. I hate where I'm at, I hate where things are going and how things are going. I hate that I keep spending so much on food and stupid stuff not even on clothing, I hate that my bank balance is decreasing. I hate that I've lost so many people that I've always wanted to have in my life on a long term basis. I hate the people I have around me. I hate how I'm turning to be. I hate that I'm depressed and that I'm not taking care of my body at all and most of all, I hate that I'm in April 2022, I wanna go back to August 2021 or even Jan 2021 so fucking bad. I wanna go back in time to redo every single thing, man. I hate shit so much right now. I hate the nightmares I've been getting, I hate that most of my manifestations haven't been coming to fruition. I hate that I'm really fucking indecisive. I hate that I'm dumb and can't get myself to learn or become street smart whatsoever. I hate where I'm at in life and how I am so much rn.

I would be more than grateful if you could help me or guide me with restarting manifestation, revising almost every single thing and becoming successful with it all, learning to manipulate time in order to go back in time, getting a really good bank balance out of thin air, getting everything and anything that I want, please. I really need the help. Please help me out.

Hey :) sorry for taking a literal year to reply, lol.

For one, please consider therapy. Your mental health always comes first. If you haven’t talked to a therapist or some other mental health professional about this, please do. You don’t have to deal with this stuff on your own, and it’s not a failing on your part by any means. You’re not dumb, you’re just struggling at the moment and that isn’t your fault. You’re dealing with a lot and it’s okay to be overwhelmed but it’s not okay to bear the weight of all of it by yourself. In my personal experience, talking to a therapist has been really useful for me in understanding how my own thoughts and feelings work, and it has really helped me when it comes to processing and dealing with some of the more difficult or upsetting things that I have had to go through. I mention my own experience because you sound a lot like me. As someone with ADHD I’ve also spent most of my life feeling dumb, feeling like I’m lacking common sense (that street smart shit), feeling depressed and anxious for most of the same reasons you are, being impulsive as shit, etc. Idk if you’ve been diagnosed, but if not do consider. It helps to know that you’re not a useless being but just someone with a brain that works differently, and had to grow up without the resources to live in a world controlled by people who’s brains work opposite of yours. Getting help works. When you have a safe space to process all of these feelings and situations, and are given tools to handle them, it gives you a much clearer mind to then think about manifestations. I’m just saying. And the way I see things, you already have all of your desires, it’s just a matter of shifting to the state of seeing it all. Since you have all your stuff, is it not better to take care of yourself? There’s nobody more important than you.

Two, usually when I used to feel similar to this I would go back to the basics. Consider reading/listening to Neville and Edward Art or Joseph Murphy I think his name, something similar, and leave loa social media alone. It causes a lot of confusion and out of confusion comes disorder in the mine. Hence why I’m never here. (Sorry for replying so late again 😭💀) When I do this, I can usually think clearer and my mind feels more at ease, I feel more confident in what I’m doing and I can get into the states I want to better. I’ve also heard guided meditations and meditation in general are helpful as well, and although I’m by no means even an intermediate in that, I think you should try it out.

Give yourself grace, OP. You’re being mad hard on yourself. Instead, take time to take care of yourself. It’s not a race. Do it not because you want to “fix” yourself as soon as possible, but because you deserve love and care—especially from yourself. You’re not dumb, you’re not stupid, you’re not dirty, you’re not worthless. You’ve got this, okay? I believe in you. I hope I was able to help, even if it was only a little bit :’)

Sending you hugs 🫂

[bisexual-horror-fan]

hii idk how to word this but i cant stop thinking about how stu always has his tongue out😝 and its so long lmao its just so silly and cute and why does he drool too lol💀💀💀 i just wanted to know if u could write something about this bc im thinking about this 24/7😭❤️

HEY ANON!

YA GOT ME THINKING ABOUT STU’S MOUTH TOO SO HERE!

I wrote you a small drabble about this, more cute than dirty (-but it is me we are talking about so it is a little dirty.) I also tried to keep it kinda ambiguous on purpose. (Also sorry this took too long to get out but I had to do Tina’s birthday fic before this so it’d be done in time. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE!)

Stu Macher X GN Reader. Rating. None. Length. 600 words. Warnings: Stu being cute, oral fixation, oral sex mention.

Put That Away.

He has to know doesn’t he?

Like he HAS to, right?

What he does to you when he does that?

You were sitting across the room, it was quiet, everyone was focused on working, heads mostly down as they worked away and you should have been working yourself but you were too busy staring at him. 

Is it just physically impossible for him to keep his tongue in his mouth?

He just needs to put that thing away. It was criminal how it could make you feel when you were just watching him when he was unaware. 

Whenever his tongue was in his mouth it only seemed that way because something else was in mouth, in this case the end of his pencil, resting his head in one hand, eyes focused on the paper in front of him. You were staring too much.

He noticed you were looking, you looked away for a moment, slightly embarrassed you got caught staring so hard at him. You glanced back to see him still staring, dumb goofy grin that was so classically Stu on his face. He was still leaning on one hand and had taken his pencil out of his mouth, a small wave, pencil still between his fingers and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling and giving a wave back. He was just too fucking cute for his own good.

His smile widened and mouthed to you, gesturing as he asked wordlessly to you,

“Lunch?”

You nodded in response. 

Yeah lunch together sounded great. 

Or it did.

Until right now.

"There a problem y/n?"

You grit your teeth and again were left wondering how he was so oblivious.

You lied.

"I'm fine."

You had such a terrible crush on him, and he was always so funny and again so cute. And then there was what he was doing right now. You wanted to ask and finally decided to.

"Do you have to eat it like that?"

"Like what?"

‘Like what?’ You thought, you wanted to parrot it back.

God he was insufferable sometimes. 

He was sitting across from you, just eating his lunch, right now he was eating vanilla pudding but he had ‘forgot’ a spoon so in his own words upon realizing it-

“Fuck it.”

And he was eating it with just his mouth or rather just his tongue. You didn’t need to be thinking about his tongue like this at lunch, at what it could be doing to you.

Friends.

You were just friends but you wanted so much more than that.

Did he know?

You weren't sure, you finally replied,

"Like an animal, you are making a mess."

He was smiling again, tongue out playfully, drool on his chin,

"Messy suits me don't ya think?"

You rolled your eyes and scooped up some napkins and held them out to him, unwilling to admit that it did, you would love to see a different kind of mess on his face. He took the napkins and you watched him wiped his face, the conversation turning to other things.

The thought of him coming up from in between your thighs, tongue still out, drool still on his chin along with much more wetness from you, his hands on your thighs, that still mischievously playful look in his eyes. 

You had to stop thinking like this. 

Messy did suit him though. 

A little too well.

[biancablack2474]

HABIBI (what does that mean idk what it means)

I HAVE TO GO INTO WORK IN AN HOUR SO IM JUST HANGING OUT IN YOUR ASK BOX RIGHT NOW TRYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING CHAOTIC TO SEND.

LOOK AT THIS NOTE MY COWORKER LEFT. I THOUGHT IT SAID JIZ I WAS LIKE WHO TF IS JIZ? WHY- OH THAT'S AN L....IT'S FOR LIZ.....😂

THIS IS WHAT I HAD TO DRINK THE OTHER NIGHT IT COST FREAKING 9 BUCKS FREAKIN EXPENSIVE MAN but it tasted so good 🥺

LOOK AT MY BABY GIRL 🥺🥺🥺

MY FAT ASS CUTIE PIE

ANYWAYS I GOTTA GO I HOPE YOURE DOING WELL IM SORRY IM NOT MORE ACTIVE AND BAD AT REPLYING TO THINGS 😭 BUT REGARDLESS I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST 💜

I'm prettttyyyy sure it means like love or my love or smthg— omg😭 you called me your love🤭(yes i am)

I'm sure you came up with something chaotic in time

Aaaaand I was right 😈😈

Jskskjdskdjb I thought that was JEZ tooo tffff that's Liz???? Why do you have a picture of that, i thought you were just sized to give it to Liz😂(who is Liz)

That looks HELLA cool tho— (pls tell me it didn't taste like bitter or extremely alcoholic because that looks like something I would want to try when I'm legally able to and i don't like bitter alcoholic tastes and okay this explanation is very long and i feel like i typed in one breath even though i didn't)

OMG YOUR BABY GIRL AND FAT ASS CUTIE PIE ARE SO CAT-LIKE........ I'm sorry💀 THEY ARE SO CUTE SKJDJDJ I CANNOT— 😭😭😭 THAT'S HOW CUTE THEY ARE I'M FAKE CRYING

And now I wanna see snow again, thanks😑

BUT ALSO YES I'VE ALREADY DROWNED THAT'S WHY YOU CAN'T SEE ME IN THE PICTURE, I'M RIGHT BESIDE YOU (but i was kneeling 'cause uk I'm taller and it wouldn't make sense for me to drown before you otherwise)

I FUCKING LOVE YOU DUDE

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY BECAUSE I'M DOING THE SAME THING AND LIFE'S HARD AND IT SUCKS but at least I have someone to get through it with (you, I have you)

I'm thinking of you too! I love you Amboo<33 thank you for being awesome ksjsjd and i hope everything goes awesome for you. Even when things can suck sometimes, i hope there's always something to make you smile. (Little things like not me 'cause I'm taller than you😚 and big things like me because I'm taller than you)