#idk why but this made me miss my chelsea boys

[astranva]

Heather.

Word Count: 2k

Category: Angst

Warning: Language? idk

Request: pls write an angst based on Heather by Conan gray i love ur writings sm

Summary: In which Harry is the Heather of his own story.

this won’t have a second part, let’s keep it sad 💀

thanks for requesting, anon! hope you like it and thank you sm🤍

// masterlist //

..

You were there for as long as Harry could remember, and that was so many years.

He was convinced that many scriptwriters and directors heard of your friendship’s story and that was how most rom-coms were made.

But the rom-coms had something that Harry was yet to have – the happy ending he kept wishing for.

It wasn’t your fault, really. Sure, you were a little oblivious but it was also a little unfair saying that was the only reason why Harry hadn’t gotten his happy ending because he knew that at the end of the day, it was him not making a move and admitting his feelings for you throughout all these years.

Harry remembered how for his 16th birthday, you had saved up to get him and yourself tickets to see Coldplay live.

He remembered how you cried as you hugged him after his X Factor audition as you all stood backstage.

He remembered how excited he was when he first introduced you to the rest of the boys when they were put in a band. Hell, you slept over with them at Robin’s for a couple of days.

He remembered how you flew out for the weekend when Zayn had left the band, knowing that Harry needed your presence.

He remembered how you were the first person he went to when he decided to make a debut solo record.

He remembered waking up to your singing in Jamaica, munching on honey toast as your face would light up the moment he came to view – “Good morning, H! I squeezed some fresh oranges for you.”

He also remembered how his face would heat up when he was just a kid whenever his family would mention that you and him were bound to end up together.

He remembered how his first heartbreak wasn’t from a relationship of his own, but it was when you got into one at 16. He hated it.

He remembered helping you with your dates, reacting to how you thought a new crush was, holding you as you cried.

Harry remembered how despite being in love with you since he was a teenager, he didn’t take a step towards having you more than a best friend.

And God, his journals were proof of that love; the love songs, all those ones about unrequited love, the short poems he wrote in the dead of the night.

He had cringed when he told you that he was seeing someone, only to have you become excited and genuinely happy for him.

If you could do it, why couldn’t he?

He was staying over at yours, a normal occurrence for when he was home. He could’ve as well just sold his house at that point.

“Have anything I can wear? This isn’t too comfortable.” He had asked you as the both of you lounged, watching a stand-up comedy.

“Yeah, just choose whatever you want.” You nonchalantly said, not caring if he went through your clothes – not like this was anything but normal for the both of you.

“Too lazy to move.” He mumbled, looking up at you from where he was; his head resting on your lap as you played with his hair.

The smile that came to your face was one Harry mirrored without knowing, staring at you as you continued to watch the show. “I’m not moving.” You stated.

He groaned, standing up, “Will you still play with my hair when I come back?”

At that, your eyes moved to him, “Yes, you baby.”

That was all the assurance he needed before he walked to your room and opened your wardrobe, going through your clothes without messing anything up; you liked your clothes neatly folded at all times.

Reaching one lilac sweater, Harry took it out before holding it over his upper body, finding that it would probably perfectly fit.

Taking off his own top and putting on yours, Harry’s breath instantly hitched in his throat, stomach tied up in knots.

It smelled like you.

It smelled like fresh vanilla detergent and the coconut scent he adored so much.

Running his hand slowly across his body, Harry turned to look at the mirror, eyes falling on the item that screamed your name louder than the beaded necklace you had made him months ago that decorated his neck – “Golden, because that’s what I think you are” you had said.

He gulped, fingertips grazing the material.

“Harry! You’re missing all the good bits!”

“Coming!” He shouted back, hoping you didn’t catch the crack in his voice.

After one final look, Harry had walked back to you, placing his head on your lap.

“Good choice.” You had commented softly.

“Yeah?” Harry almost whispered, “Feels comfortable. What material is that?”

“Just polyester,” you shrugged, “Hate how it looks better on you though.” You had joked, giving him a gentle tug to his hair.

Harry had giggled, closing his eyes as you scratched his scalp softly, “Thanks.”

After that day, it was like Harry claimed the sweater. He’d beeline to it the moment he stepped a foot in your house, frowning at you on some days when you told him that it was getting washed.

Days turned to weeks, and before Harry could do as much as blink, you were back from your work with a smile brighter than usual.

He was sitting on your couch that day, in the lilac sweater, a smile drawn to his face as soon as his saw yours, pausing the music that was playing from his laptop. “You look happy.”

And you were, because you had given his cheek a soundly smooch of greeting, unaware of Harry’s cheeks reddening.

You hummed with a nod, “I have a date tonight with, quite possibly, the cutest person I have ever met.”

He wasn’t expecting that.

Harry was not expecting that.

His smile faltered, only staring at you.

“They’re just,” you sighed, staring at the ceiling with a hand to your heart, “A dream, you know? Hey, wait! You know them!”

“I do?”

“Yeah,” you nodded eagerly, “Chelsea introduced them when we went to that pub 2 weeks ago, remember? Charlie?”

“Oh.”

And he did. He remembered how pretty Charlie was, how they seemed to keep conversations going and made sure everyone was listened to, how Charlie’s style stood out in the pub, how their jokes made everyone laugh – including him. He remembered how Charlie’s eyes lingered on you when you talked, how the both of you seemed dived into a conversation of common interests. He hated it.

Charlie really was a dream. Yeah, he hated that, too.

Harry had helped you decide on an outfit, his chest feeling as if it clenched around his heart to a point where his cage would combust.

He helped you with your hair, spraying the back of it for you because you had always complained about not reaching that part well.

Fuck, he even painted your nails that night – they were in lilac.

And he was there when Charlie picked you up, a genuine smile on their face that looked nothing like the petty one he wore.

“Do you need us to bring you anything, mate? We’re having Italian.” Charlie had offered.

Why did Charlie have to be kind and polite? What happened to the assholes they portrayed in rom-coms?

“No, thanks, Y/N made me lasagna earlier.” Harry had chuckled, watching you smile at the interaction.

“Go to sleep by 9, Mr.” You had joked as you left, Charlie’s hand on your back.

“You know it.” Harry had mumbled with a weak smile, giving you a nod.

By 7, Harry was almost sure he yanked all his hair out, despite the mirrors assuring him that he didn’t.

By 8, he tried to eat, but the nauseous feeling that ran through his body at the thought of you with someone else made him put the casserole back in the fridge.

By 9, Harry had called Mitch to break the news of your newest date, only to hang up so soon when Mitch was beginning to tell him how he still might have a chance.

By 10, he wrote a song. One full song.

By 11, he had the tune for it.

By 12, Harry watched you kiss someone who wasn’t him and he had no one to blame.

“How was it?” He managed to utter, watching you stand against the door with the widest smile.

“Perfect.”

That was the beginning of everything but what Harry wished upon a constellation for, because by the second month of you seeing Charlie, you had made it official.

Charlie was perfect in all aspects; hell, even Gemma liked them when she met them as the 4 of you had brunch one day.

But then Charlie was around your house more that Harry just wasn’t that comfortable to sleep over anymore.

He remembered how the three of you were watching a movie one night, Charlie having been wanting to get to know Harry more since he was “someone Y/N talks about and loves so much” – Charlie said that with no drop of pettiness, Harry wondered how they did it – when Harry just couldn’t take any more of you cuddling someone who wasn’t him and before you and Charlie could process it, Harry was out with an empty excuse – “I forgot my guitar at Mitch’s.”

His guitar was resting against the very couch he was sitting on.

But nothing prepared him for that one moment.

Charlie had invited him for the barbecue party they were hosting and if it weren’t for your puppy eyes, Harry would’ve been sulking in the comfort of his house and not in his car while he was on the way to oh-so-perfect Charlie’s.

He heard Lizzo playing the moment he got out of his car, and it was how he knew that it was your playlist playing.

He had brought cake with him, walking cautiously with the boxed dessert in his hands.

The door was opened, a few smiling people passing by him before he was met with yours, only as always, your face lit up once you saw him.

“You’re here!” You didn’t care that he was holding anything in his hands that restrained him from hugging you back because you threw your arms around him, leaving a kiss to his cheek, “Everyone’s been asking for you. Something about how it was weird seeing me without you.” You giggled.

“Partners in crime, eh?” He smiled at you, referring to the phrase you have been using with one another since school.

“You bet,” you wiggled your eyebrows, “Oh, shoot, sorry, didn’t notice you had this. Um, come, let’s put it in the kitchen.”

You were comfortable in Charlie’s house, Harry noticed. It was no surprise; he would’ve been more worried if you weren’t seen as you had been together for 6 months.

Placing the cake in the fridge, you and Harry then walked to where everyone was.

And that was when he saw it.

Charlie lied on a lounge chair, laughing and looking all attractive, in the very lilac, polyester sweater Harry had found comfort in.

He watched as you walked over, Charlie instantly putting a hand to your waist as they smiled up at you before you leaned down, pressing your lips against one another.

“Act natural, would you?” He heard Chelsea’s, a mutual friend, voice beside him.

“What?”

“If you can’t be happy for Y/N, try to act natural around them,” Chelsea sighed, her heart breaking for her friend as she looked at Harry who was yet to move his eyes from the couple, “Charlie’s great, you know?”

“Yeah,” he gave her a dry chuckle, “Yeah, I know.”

“Then why aren’t you happy that at least they’re not an asshole?”

“Just,” Harry looked at his friend, a defeated look on his face before the sound of you squealing gleefully grabbed his attention, watching as Charlie had their arms wrapped around you from behind, the both of you laughing as your friends all smiled in awe, “Just wish I were Charlie.”

[hopeshoodie]

ik you have shane as your perfect islander for lottie so you seemed like the right person to ask about what you think a perfect islander for hannah would be like

Ok hear me out- someone like Genevieve or (to a lesser extent) Priya.

I LOVE the arc I’ve decided is canon of Hannah realizing she is a lesbian throughout the show. It just makes too much sense and I feel like every sapphic girl had a best friend where the relationship was super intense and toxic (but not because we’re gay, no not because we’re gay) and that’s the vibes with Hannah and Lottie. So as much as I ship Lottie and Hannah, they both need to do a lot of growth before they can be healthy and stable together. Ultimately, while it’s one of the best ships in the game, Lottie’s love isn’t the perfect match for Hannah.

 In the canon season I do love the idea of Priya and Hannah- Priya’s much more grounded but still has the high femme glamour that Hannah is into. If Priya was openly bisexual and comfortable with that (which she SHOULD be because she SHOULD have been an LI for MC), I would love the arc of Hannah realizing she’s gay through Lottie and then realizing that her ‘romantic, sensible, and fairytale’ partner can be Priya. Then we could play around with her un-learning compulsory heterosexuality and realizing that everything she was romanticizing about love with a man is possible with women. I hesitate on this because in the game, Priya’s one of the more immature characters (obv. less so than Lottie but definitely more so than Hope or Chelsea) and she can’t really play the grounded voice of reason alongside all of her Lottie/Noah/Felix stuff.

 So I would bring in a character more like Genevieve. Someone who’s really confident, stable, self-sufficient, comfortable in who they are. She’s my favorite character in Season 3 because while she’s really smart and chill, she doesn’t make it her mission to police everyone else or fix other people’s drama (even though there is none in S3). She sits back with her partner (which is a whole other tangent- I love how they’re obviously into each other but don’t make a big show of it in the way that Nope or any other couple in the game did), does her own face paint, is kind to everyone but really only involved with her friends. If s3 had been written better, she would’ve been the competent and kind dark skinned black woman who’s NOT made into the mom friend for once in media.

 But of course the character of Genevieve doesn’t work 100% for Hannah because I get super straight vibes from her (not super-straight, fuck them, but like extra straight, like she is very straight but in a way that includes trans men because they are men). And also? A big part of Viv’s story is that she gets Seb in the end, and they’re a really functional healthy couple who support each other. She wouldn’t get that same support from someone going Thru It like Hannah is.

 So Hannah’s ideal partner is a mix between Priya and Genevieve, and seeing how underutilized Priya is I think we can just repurpose her (but take out a lot of the immaturity and add in Viv’s ambivalence). I’ll leave her name Priya because I’m very much picturing her as Priya.

 Priya comes in on day 1 like normal, late, but (instead of Hannah) Marisol goes home. Maybe there’s some kind of debacle where Gary tries to kiss Marisol and she calls him out, idk we need a reason for Gary to want to pick Hannah over Marisol. Lottie still attacks Priya and Hannah quietly takes Lottie’s side while feeling bad about it the whole time. Lottie and Hannah fall out, Hannah goes to Priya for support, I think I laid out this narrative in another post? Not sure, I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming about it a lot and maybe this is the first time I’m typing it out. At some point (ik Priya misses the truth or dare and with Marisol gone there’s not a character who compulsively needs to talk about their sexuality) it comes out that Priya’s bi, and she doesn’t shy away from or qualify that at all. She’s bi, she’s dated women, and she’s not uncomfortable with doing it again unlike SOME people.

 But Hannah goes to Priya for support on like day 6. Priya recognizes the sexual tension between Lottie and Hannah, but doesn’t point it out because Hannah’s not ready to accept that. Instead she just gives Hannah generic good advice. Roccogate happens to Hannah instead of Lottie, Operation Nope still happens and everyone hates Priya for it (but she handles it far more maturely than she did and comes out of it apologetic but not regretful).  Also because Marisol has to leave to keep Hannah, and we still need a prickly slow-burn lady LI, I’m thinking Lottie fills in that route (or Elisa comes in earlier with Lurik and does Marisol’s whole ‘omg dating a girl, such a big step!’ schtick).

 In CA, instead of Hope and Priya being dejected that they aren’t super into any of the new boys, it’s Hannah. Priya comes to comfort her, and she has a meltdown that ‘there’s so many awesome guys here why can’t I just like one of them’ and is also really salty that Kassam and Lottie are getting on so well. Priya gently tells her ‘maybe the reason you can’t force yourself to like the guys here is because you just don’t like men’. Hannah sputters a bit and Priya points out that she clearly has a crush on Lottie, which Hannah denies. Priya throws up her hands and says “well if you need to talk, I’m here,” to which Hannah initiates a kiss. They make out a bit, then Priya pulls away and says “that was lovely, but I’m not keen on being an experiment. I like you, but you need to know what you want.” And leaves. And Hannah shooketh because ‘oh, THAT’s what kissing is supposed to feel like’, because girlie same. It took me years of kissing men to realize you’re supposed to ~enjoy~ kissing.

 So then my ideal Priya route happens with Priya and MC, but at the recoupling after CA if MC doesn’t save Priya, Hannah does. Priya kind of says “thank you for saving me, you can keep going after to Gary,” and Hannah’s like “No. I want you.” They have a couple of conversations in private, where Priya is like ‘you can’t keep pining over Lottie if we’re going to be together together’ and ‘you gotta stop being sad that I’m not taller than you and that our hands are the same size- that’s compulsory heterosexuality and being upset about it is unfair to me’. And just generally Hannah grows a ton in the span of like 2 weeks, and they’re a really supportive healthy couple?

 Maybe if you’re feeling spicy, Hannah still kisses MC or Lottie before she leaves, and then that comes out at the finale party and Priya breaks up with her. I still think Hannah would have to leave LI and grow a lot before being ready to be in a functional relationship, so even if Priya was her perfect person she’d have to wait for her. I just need Hannah’s girlfriend to look over her glasses at her and be like “babes, this novel is trash. You’re writing about what you wanted LI to be, not what it actually was. No one’s going to read this. You need to find something that matters to you and write about it.” And the thing that matters to her is Priya. A real ‘I’m changing my major to Joan’ kind of moment.

[queen-erika-the-songful]

Okay, here are my initial thoughts on Princess Adventure. These are in no way organized; they’re just as I can remember them. Feel free to send asks if you want

- Barbie defending Chelsea’s creativity and imagination is great to see. It’s one of the best parts of Dreamhouse Adventures so it’s nice to see them continue that in this film

- I like “Try It On” a lot more now. It’s not my favorite, and I think it’s one of the weaker songs in comparison to the rest of the soundtrack, but it’s honestly kind of a bop.

- “It’s like they don’t even want me in this movie!” LOL even Tammy herself knows she’s been done an absolute injustice.

- Holy crap Amelia’s plan is so freaking funny to me. She could’ve just, like...invited Barbie over to her kingdom since she’s the princess and was already a fan of Barbie’s vlogs anyway. But nah, she’s gotta have this whole convoluted “cultural exchange” bullshit I just can’t

- Speaking of Amelia, it’s a little disappointing that we don’t spend nearly as much time with her as we do with Barbie, and, thus, we don’t get to see who the supposed “real” her really is. She says she finally got to explore things about herself, like her fears and dreams, but she never goes into details. Ironically, the audience never gets to see who the true Amelia is, we just have to go off what she said about “who [she] is does matter”. I mean, we certainly get glimpses of it (again, the convoluted plan - she’s obviously ‘act first think later’), but overall it’s not nearly enough, at least to me

- “(Not A) Picture Perfect Girl” might just be my favorite song from this movie. It honestly made me tear up a bit. We’ll see if that changes over my next rewatches

- The running gag with Trey mixing up Barbie and Amelia while Ted and Ned knew was a lot funnier than I expected it to be

- Trey is now trans and you can’t change my mind.

- I really appreciate “Somewhere New” a lot more now since seeing it in the movie. I love that the choreography starts on the plane. It was a cool choice that really felt like a “musical” thing to do. I also like that everyone got to sing at leaset a line or two on their own. 

- WTF happened between Floravia and Johanistan? Did they have a war or something? Why are they being united into just a bigger Floravia? It sounds pretty fishy. I can understand why Johan is so upset based on what little information is given to us, so I wish they had gone into it a bit more.

- Johan asked “Amelia” (Barbie in disguise) if she remembered what they said they would do as rulers when they were kids. That never comes back and it really bothered me. What was the promise? That they’d rule together? That they’d treat each other’s kingdom equally? I actually thought at the coronation that Amelia would give the answer to that question (something like “Johan, remember what we told each other...”) and then do something like absolve the treaty so that she and Johan would rule their own respective kingdoms. l

- IDK, I think I would’ve just liked it more if Johan had been like Amelia’s brother/cousin/whatever that wanted to become King. He’d be a more boring villain that way but it would be less complicated than this.

- WE GOT REPRISES OF 2 SONGS BUT THEY AREN’T ON THE SOUNDTRACK?! I will NOT stand for that. As soon as the movie comes out on DVD I’m ripping those tracks out and adding them to my playlist

- I really thought Ken and Barbie were finally going to get together. I shall now accept my clown shoes and wig. I’m already applying the makeup now.

- The sequence for “Life in Color” disappointed me a bit. It’s one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack, but the placement in the movie felt like it came out of nowhere. I was really hoping for a nice, tender moment between Barbie and Amelia. Even if they were kept separated, it could’ve started with them video-chatting again. Maybe they’d talk about their personal struggles and then Barbie would stop the recording (”We don’t have to film this...”) and they’d just have a moment between themselves to talk.

- On the other hand, “King of the Kingdom” was such a good scene. It was very entertaining and I laughed a lot (which I had to hold back a lot since I was still at work). Also, those boys can move!!

- To make up for all of the interruptions and missed opportunities, Ken Carson deserves at least 3 episodes centered on him and his life and 1 where he finally tells Barbie how he feels

- TAFFY HAD NO REASON TO BE IN THIS MOVIE. I don’t care that Barbie almost always needs an animal sidekick. Snowy (Amelia’s bunny) fills that role. Taffy just gave everyone a freaking heart attack. Also, how the heck did she survive the plane ride? California to Floravia is a 10-hour flight so how did she stay unnoticed for so long?? ROBERTS FAMILY, GET SOME DAMN LEASHES!

- Speaking of that scene, I hate it. It ate up valuable time that could’ve been later spent developing the plot or Amelia’s character. It was only like 2 minutes but in a movie that is already pretty short (1hr11min) every second counts

- Can DA please finally drop the whole “Hey look Renee is claustrophobic” already? It’s repetitive as all hell and honestly it rubs me the wrong way how often it’s played for laughs. It works in the DA Halloween episode since it’s all about everyone facing their fears but everywhere else it feels like a cheap & undeserved laugh (it only happens twice in the movie I think but I wanted to mention it anyway)

- Morningstar being a little bitch to Barbie was hilarious. I don’t really like animal toys anymore but I’d totally buy her. (She’s part of a doll-horse set called Prance & Shimmer Horse. The Barbie doll has Amelia’s princess dress).

- “This is My Moment” really warmed my heart. The last shot with Amelia and Barbie smiling at each other reminded me a lot of Princess & the Popstar actually. I also really like how they brought back stuff from “Try It On” for Barbie’s verse. Musical finale numbers that bring back earlier motifs is something I just cannot get enough of. 

- I liked Alfonso. Like Amelia said, he means well; he just didn’t put as much thought into what Ameila herself wants as he could have. But hey, he was learning just as much as they were

- I LOVED all of the stuff with Barbie trying to make it big and that bitch Rose Ross being all “This is what you have to do to make it sweetie :)” like that’s a great thing to show to kids. You can want to be famous and expand your content like Barbie wanted to, but you have to be smart about it, and you have to stay true to yourself. That plotline also mixed pretty well with Amelia’s life being formulated for the public too. I really did like all of that stuff about how media, social media especially, is constantly fabricated and edited to make things seem easier/better than they might be in real life. 

- THEY FINALLY WENT BACK TO INDIVIDUAL END MORALS THANK GOD. I got really tired of seeing “This is our story, what’s yours?” after every Barbie movie, especially when every movie that used it wasn’t going for that message. Hell, that’s not even a lesson or anything, that’s just a random end quote.

- “Life doesn’t happen on camera. Life is what happens when the cameras are off” THAT IS SO GOOD AND RELEVANT I CAN’T EVEN!!!

[dr-stone-things]

Hiii! Welcome back! I missed dr stone to be honest XD may i rant a bit? I need to talk about it to someone! When i comes to pic favourite boy, i am always torn between tsukasa and senku. Would 10/10 adopt chrome and suika. Yuzuriha best girl ( i also love the name). I am a anime watcher only, so i bet i will change my mind many times yet! What about you? Who are youe favourite? Adopt anyone? best girl? Thank you listening to me! Have a good day!

AHHH i missed dr stone so much too!! the latest season has made my happiness levels rise immensely.. you can always rant here!!

my favorite boy will always be tsukasa, I love that man sm, why he gotta be so fine for thou? (and there’s also this guy named joel in the manga which i think is pretty cute.. hm me is thinking.. hm and mozu is pretty fine too..) and yes I would definitely adopt suika, omg shes she cute.. i just wanna hug her and for her to be my little sister.. that be so cute.. and OMG there's so much new characters in the manga. LIKE A TON. its hard keeping track of them all but there's this girl who id adopt (I gotta google her name real quick-)

her name is Chelsea and she is straight ADORABLE. it’ll probably be a very long time till she gets animated but shes very cute.

omg and YES!! yuzuriha has to be my best girl... she is so sweet and caring!! also personally I think short hair looks a lot better on her.. it just fits her more. i also like a girl called kirisame (who won’t appear for a very long time...) and of course my bb kohaku.

i HIGHLY!! recommend reading the manga, the current arc is so scrumptious and very exciting!! there's lots of new characters which makes it so cool and idk what else to say... dr stone is truly one of my fav animes/mangas.. i can already tell the season is gonna end on a massive cliffhanger bc of what happens at the end of the arc in the manga.. its gonna be so good i cant wait tbh!!

ps: thx to all of the lovely ppl in the ask box!! and yes, requests are open, hopefully i haven't forgotten how to write these cuties! im not sure if theres any manga readers, but if theres a certain character from the manga youd like me to write, i can try! 

[thequlturecritic]

QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20.  BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night! 

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!

[ariseadaptascertain]

1-92 muhaha

Okay, but only cuz I’m in class not paying attention anyways 😅

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Yes. definitely.


2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Nope


3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Uhhhhhhhhh

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

I’ll trust you 110% no questions asked until you give me a reason not to 


5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

No, I don’t like anyone right now 


6. What are you excited for?

All of my family from California to get here tomorrow, thanksgiving dinner, football and beer 🏈🍻


7. What happened tonight?

It’s 2:30PM so ask me later


8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Depends… some people are cute and funny wasted, so some I don’t mind.. others just really shouldn’t get drunk lol 🥃


9. Is confidence cute

To an extent, yes 


10. What is the last beverage you had?

Water💧


11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

I have 2 brothers and a dad 


12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

I own way too many pairs of skinny jeans 


13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Saturday is my brothers birthday so dinner and celebrate with the family 🎈


14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Um probably food or gas… oh actually I bought my dog a sweater on amazon earlier so maybe that? 🐾


15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

No I am not 


16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

People are always changing and finding themselves so definitely 


17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My older brother 


18. The last time you felt broken?

A few weeks ago 


19. Have you had sex today?

no action happening here 


20. Are you starting to realize anything?

What I deserve 


21. Are you in a good mood?

Currently, yes😁


22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Am I trying to die? 🦈


23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes, mine are darker though 👀


24. What do you want right this second?

To get out of class 


25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Wtf bye? lol at least that’s what I think I’d say idk strangely I’ve been here before and idk we stayed together but we were never really together and it was confusing but that was 4 years ago and I was stupid so now, i’d probably just say bye👋🏽


26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Um the top half is😅 


27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

NO I need someone just as strange as myself 


28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Someone’s speech in my public speaking class at noon

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes


30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

That’s a tricky one, depends 


31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Um sorry I think you have the wrong person👭


32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I don’t have feelings for anyone now, the last person I had feelings for knew though


33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

No, I’ll have one every once in awhile

34. Listening to?

Right now an OChem lecture🙄 music wise, everything. Currently I’m listening to some throw back usher. But Marc e. Bassy, j cole, chance, been into Kelsea ballerini’s new album, Lauv, Lany, CVBZ, Devin Dawson, Parson James, maren Morris, post Malone, Noah kahan, Khalid, Chelsea cutler, Ben Howard…. list goes on I listen to everything all the time

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Yes exam days 


36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Yes, not sure who they are now or what they are doing but I know where geographically 


37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’d like to, but I don’t think so.. at least for me, I don’t know a person until I meet them, I can’t develop feelings for them until I spend time with them 


38. Who did you last call?

The Ford dealership 


39. Who was the last person you danced with?

@iriseagain lolol


40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I loved them 


41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Omg um I made cupcakes on a Tuesday in October I think, so cute they were on my snap chat, go follow me lol 🍰


42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No I did not 


43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I embarrass myself every day haha but I love it that’s just me it’s cool 


44. Do you tan in the nude?

I would if I didn’t have neighbors but hey tan lines are attractive 


45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No, I probably would have made it more memorable though because I honestly don’t remember where we were or what we were doing 


46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Nope


47. Who was the last person to call you?

Haha my mom 


48. Do you sing in the shower?

Yes, loud and proud 🎤


49. Do you dance in the car?

As much as I can without crashing or being a hazard to others, but yes always


50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

No🤔 I’d like to 


51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Senior year of high school


52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Of course, but that’s why people love them right? 


53. Is Christmas stressful?

No it’s wonderful and full of love, pine, and everything warm🎅🏽🎄


54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes they are good with sour cream 


55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple🍎🍏


56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Veterinarian or Teacher or Surgeon of some sort


57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sometimes hah especially after a scary movie👻


58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

ALL THE DAMN TIME


59. Take a vitamin daily?

No…💊


60. Wear slippers?

I have one pair from like 6th grade I’ll throw on every once in awhile for fun cuz I’m weird


61. Wear a bath robe?

No I do not


62. What do you wear to bed?

Sports bra and Calvins usually unless it’s cold then a hoodie 


63. First concert?

It was a Jason Aldean, Florida Georgia Line, Dierks Bentley concert 


64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

I love target but I normally just shop at Wally World 


65. Nike or Adidas?

Um I can’t. If I had to I guess Nike cuz I own more Nike ✔️


66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos… but if y'all like cottage cheese (which I know most of you will be like EW.) dip your Fritos in cottage cheese. That’s some good shit 


67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Retired softball player so Seeds all the way 


68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

All the old stuff from like jr high love story, you belong with me, picture to burn, mine


69. Ever take dance lessons?

No I probably should though💃🏻


70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

No… maybe something medical wise


71. Can you curl your tongue?

No, I can make a stupid face while attempting to do so though that you’d probably like 


72. Ever won a spelling bee?

lol Yes 😂😂🤓


73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes I have, I think whenever I get a puppy I go cry to myself about it, but many times… when I see beautiful things or beautiful people in my life I cry sometimes at how beautiful everything is, songs make me happy and cry… don’t judge me I’m appreciative and emotional 😅


74. What is your favorite book?

The giving tree 🌳


75. Do you study better with or without music?

with, quietly though in the background just to keep my mind going 


76. Regularly burn incense?

Regularly burn candles? YES


77. Ever been in love?

once, 5-6 years ago


78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Sooooo many people… before I die, chance, marc. e. bassy, usher needs to do a tb concert, pink, Carrie underwood, beyonce, I’ve been to so many concerts, the list goes on and on for people I want to see 


79. What was the last concert you saw?

I think it was Halsey


80. Hot tea or cold tea?

On cold days, hot. On hot days, cold. 


81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee ☕️ but both 


82. Favorite type of cookie?

My moms chocolate chip 🍪


83. Can you swim well?

Very 🌊


84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes…. can’t everyone? 


85. Are you patient?

I work with children and sick angry people who need their meds all day, so VERY 


86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Aw a band could be cute, but if it was my wedding DJ all the way 


87. Ever won a contest?

Yes… a few
88. Ever have plastic surgery? My cheeks are naturally this way I promise


89. Which are better black or green olives?

Um I eat more black just cuz they are more common, but green taste like butter and are more expensive so I have those only when I’m treating myself or trying to be fancy 


90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Shit happens🤷🏽‍♀️ just be someone you are proud of

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Mines in the family room which is nice… but honestly best place for a fire is outside surrounded by good people with some s'mores and a drink in your hand 🔥

92. Do you want to get married?

I do 💍

[kuroheishi]

aRGH I am so sorry guys this is so hella late, moving to another country is a huge thing and I found time only now to write this thing down, but finally I can throw all of my fierce love on ya 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE +600 FOLLOWERS!!!!!

That’s a huge milestone for me and I am so flattered so many people follow this blog?? However! Before starting to name one by one all the wonderful people I gotta thank in here, I gotta announce that this is going to be a kinda uh... Hiatus post too? From next week everything is going to get even busier when @littlxlamb is gonna come and get me to kindap me, so... I don’t know when I will get again some more free time to be on here. IT MAKES ME SAD TO SAY BYE ON HERE BUT LIFE AAAAAHHHHHH 

WELL ANYWAYS! I’LL COME BACK FOR SURE!! Even if super rarely I’ll always come back online in here because this is like a small second home for me heh.

I am so grateful for these two years in this fandom, Yuu has completely changed my life; I found the Mika in my life heh and I got to learn so much from my muse and I wanna give as much love as he does to the world no matter of how cruel it can be. I learnt and I keep learning so freaking much from the people I have met in here and I just- I don’t know, I love everything of Owari no Seraph, Yuu and all the friendos I found here.

Thank you so much everyone!! 

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!! THANK YOU!!

Thank you to those who have stayed here since the very beggining, all the old and new friendos, it’s like having this huge family and even if sometimes we might even fight like it happens in all families it’s cool to always see you all around, fighting sometimes also helps to make bonds stronger right? 

I am so grateful to everyone who RPed with me or who even sent me just one ask, I appreciate this so very much!! Thank you for the patience, for when I get super heated about Yuu shbjsdhjksdhksd I just can’t help it rubs rubs head! SO THANK YOU FOR BEARING WITH THAT!! 

And at last, thank you again to every single follower! YES YOU WHO ARE READING THIS LONG SENTIMENTAL POST POINTS AT! Thank you for the support by following this blog, it means a lot to me ya know? It’s like telling me I am not doing so bad with my Yuu portrayal, that you like what I post/reblog and well- this blog will always be hella important to me, it has a special place in my heart so I’ll never stop to thank all of you!!

It’s a shame we all live in so many different places because I’d treat y’all to some curry or ice cream as a thank you but damn I hope my gratitude can reach you by this long ass post hahaha

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!! THROWS MOUNTAINS OF GOOD VIBES AT!!

If anyone has an Instagram account and idk if you’re interested in crap cosplay or you want to keep better in touch with me during my hiatus period, you can follow me on here:

@kisshiichu

I post pretty much often there! And it will be easier for me to reply to stuff and all!

Gonna put all the rest on read more because it’s going to be hella l ong, good luck everyone to find your tag down there thumbs up!

Credits for the amazing follow forever banner go to @littlxlamb as usual because damn you’re so talented and thank you for always doing this cool stuff for me ahhhhh you’re too kind to me Nia buries you in a huge a hug!! I don’t know how you knew I wanted all the family in the picture but ahhh thank you!!

P.s. as usual I am so freaking sorry if I forget anyone but my head lately is even more messy with the moving matter, so please forgive me sdhsdghsd

Family

@littlxlamb: HELLO MIKANIA!! It’s two years we know each other and it doesn’t sound real right? But at the same time it’s like woah, only two freaking years?? Since the beginning it has always been weird how well clicked, how we could talk 5ever and be so in sync if that makes sense? AND NOW WE’RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER I AM SO EXCITED I COULD CLIMB A TREE OR SOMETHING EUDBJSDSD I know it’s gonna be hella hard at the beginning, but I also know that there is no other place I could be if not next you ya know? So I’m gonna roll up my sleeves and work hard for both us! But hey, I’ll tell u this face to face, but thank you for always being by my side since the beginning. Thank you for always supporting me, for giving me a family, for giving me a purpose, thank you for making me laugh and for scolding me when I need it heh I know I’m an idiot sometimes, right? Thank you for being born and for being in my life, I am so glad our blogs brought us this close, that’s why I’ll always be grateful to Yuu, Mika and ons for allowing us to meet. I promise that from next week I’ll fight side by side with you, you are so talented in the things you do that I am sure step by steop you will reach your goals and I will be always there to cheer for you!! I’ll work hard to be your pillar and to make you smile at least once a day AND I AM NOT GONNA FAIL FIST UP!

@brassboundvalkyrie: mama Kiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!! I know lately I haven’t been very active on our fam group chat, but hey never forget I love you okay?? You’re hella awesome and cool, I will never stop reminding you that, I gotta learn from you tbh. But I mean, not only for you writing and cosplay skills, just one day wanna be a mature adult like you, you’re like my adult inspiration if that makes sense A REAL MAMA! I am so happy that you’re finally having a good time with your new work tho!! It’s actually kinda cute how you sound excited about it, so I’m really glad to see you like that heh. And well you know that even if I am not super active on this blog, that I’ll always keep in touch with you through Skype!! SO YOU WON’T MISS ME TOO MUCH HAH 

@rutilisanguinis: BARA PAPA VAMPIRE!! I actually don’t know why Lau but with you it comes more natural to act like this bratty rebellious kid since we have started talking two years ago woah. LAU DAMN THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING ME BACK THEN!! I am so glad we met, you even formed our Skype fam basically and I just wish you all the good things with your health, work and life in general because you deserve it! I hope one day we will meet again for sure, we must!! AH!! Almost forgot to thank you again for the adorable gift, like sdghsdghjsd it made me so flattered that you thought about me?? It was so kind of you ahhhhhhhhhh

@fortisgladio: Lizzie ah damn what can I say about you? I am glad Yuu allowed me to meet someone like you, someone as passionate (IF NOT MORE) than me about ons and especially our precious sunshine boy! No matter if we have similar thoughts about him or not, just thank you so much for how much love you put in everything you write and do!! You’re a wonderful huge bright sun, it’s always uh... I forgot English for a sec hang on lemme check the dictionary- comforting?? Yes that too, and it brightens my day whenever I get to exchange few words with you; seeing you on my dash is always wonderful too, I love your writing so freaking much shakes the pc! You are an ispiration for me, thank you for being my friend and for always being this kind, I really appreciate that so damn much. I just wish for everything in your life to go super well, for you to always find the strength to fight it IF YOU NEED TO PUNCH STRUGGLES I’LL BE BY YOUR SIDE BRUH!! I am just sending you all the love and good vibes because you must get all of the happiness and love!!!!!

@undyingxloyalty: slides huge ice cream in here- KAT LEMME SCREAM TO THE OCEAN ABOUT HOW OF AN AMAZING FRIEND YOU ARE!!! Do you understand how grateful I am that you’re in my fam zone?? Because ahhhhh lately we finally got talk more and I’m so glad we did!! You have always been so freaking supportive with me and I have always wondered, the heck do I deserve such wonderful friends around me?? That’s why I wanna give you back everything you do for me!! All the kinds words always ready to hit me hard, this helpful aura you have around yourself and how I feel chill because I know somehow you’ve always kept an eye on me somehow?? All of that has always given much happiness kay, so I hope I can give you as much of that to you, because I wanna see you happy!! You deserve it sooooooo much! And don’t think I forgot about your stunning writing, I am so flattered I got to write with such a skilled writer as you are, you’re Mika is freaking well portayed that damn I just scream. Thank you for being an ispiration too, remember to stay always cool and safe!! 

@sassyshinoahiiragi: Chelsea damn you’re always such a sweet friend with me! Time zone sucks because it doesn’t help us to catch each other online, but I don’t care just thank you for always being this supportive EVEN TOO MUCH SOMETIMES AJHKSDHKJSDHKJSD still grateful for that tho, I hope I can be as supportive for you?? Like I really wish everything will go well for you, because all the happiness must hit you hard! I miss writing with you, but remember that Yuu and I will always wait for Shinoa and you to come back!! I have always been hella flattered you contacted me and all, that you like my Yuu so thank you so much /////  Even tho I will be on hiatus here, I hope I can get to jump on ya even from England!! SO SEE YOU SOON HEH

@fallenangelmikaela: FLIES FOR A TACKLE HUG!!!!! Okay Alice as you said... We’ve been mutuals for how long? Two years?? Since I have started my blog and heck, for time zone and all we didn’t even get to talk that much til these last months, but I’m so happy we finally got closer kay? Because you’re such a cool friendo and I have so much fun talking to you, RPing with your Mika too!! I even told you that for my Yuu your Mika is like hella important to him!! Thank you for being patient with my noisiness, I have you on Skype and Instagram so I am sure we’ll keep in touch somehow even during my hiatus AND I AM GLAD KAY. Stay always safe and I wish you too much much much happiness, I am still crossing my finger for you and your thing hah, so I am sure one day something super woah and good is gonna happen to you!!

@chiheisxn: dude. buries u under affection. Even tho you always hit me with angst AND YOU KNOW YOU DO, thank you for even doing that. I really appreciate every single ask you send me, you have so much creativity and talent in writing, you’re so funny and yet you can be so heart breaking with your threads that damn. I adore that. I am still so sorry for all the shit that has happened back then, I hate seeing friends struggling and being attacked, so never forget to come to me if someone ever dares to even say a bad words on you kay? Because I am gonna get them so hard, no one should receive hate, especially my FRIENDS and for dumb stuff like jeez. I will miss seeing you around when I’ll be away BUT I WILL BE SURE TO BE BACK TO JUMP ON YOU AND YUU ON YOUR AKANE!!

@thatonecoolnara & @inuzukachii: where you guys at?????? I actually saw Madara mum around lately on here but I didn’t wanna bother, I just keep an eye on you two thanks to socials heh, but I hope you’re both doing great! Just wanted to remind you guys that even if we might be not in touch that I always check on you guys and that I still care for you two a lot kay? Always gonna keep a thought for you two and wishing hard for the best in your life!

@littlepsychedelicdream: Madi-chan damn I am sorry lately we didn’t talk like at all? But probably you’re busy too and I just hope you’re doing well!! We’ve know each other for some years already and hey, never forget that no matter if we talk or not, if life is busy and stuff, you’ll always be this very cool friendo, reliable, sweet, kind and hella fun to talk to! You have a great talent, both in writing and art so I am crossing my fingers so hard for you, I am sure you’ll reach your goals, I believe in you!!

The Squad

@asura-the-black: ahhhhhh bruh!! I hope you’re doing well, but hey just wanted to keep reminding you that I am still glad for all the times we got to RP!! Because your writing is just so stunning, so strong with feels to hit me hard in the heart! Thank you for that and for even discussing with me about headcanons!! My Yuu will always keep your Asuramaru in his heart kay? I hope you’re having fun and that you’re safe!! ONE DAY WE’LL WRITE MORE AGAIN!! I love your blog too much sdjsdksdkds

@poenitet: woah dad, I am gonna tag you with Guren’s blog because that’s how we met heh. I’m sorry lately I’ve been hella busy and we also kinda distanced ourselves but yeah, you’re really kinda Guren style and I keep my distance too if I know I might anger someone ya know, I am just really empathic I guess and since I like talking with you very much I get kinda sad if I feel like I might anger you. You’re such a talented writer and artist honestly that I hope you’ll find your happy path someday! I am glad we got to talk so much about Owari no Seraph and especially about Guren, I have always missed in here someone to write Guren and Yuu’s bond with me, because it just gives me huge feels and idk you’re perfect in that? Your Guren is just the dad for my Yuu that I really cannot describe in proper words how my son feels damn. Just huge fierce love for your Guren, that’s it. Thank you anyways for allowing me to write with you and for showing me your cool drawings, I had much fun!! YOU NERD. 

@elyon-kurae: hey Lily!!! First lemme tell you that I must confess your OC is literally like the first one who caught me properly, I mean, damn I admire people for writing original characters but you also gotta have talent to pull out something cool and girl you have it! That is why, since you are always so super supportive with me, I wish I can give you as much support! Because you write Elyon so freaking well, her personality and all, you are an artist too so I can always wish you to improve in everything you love! Fight your struggles, I know you can do it but never forget to rely on friends when you feel down because people care for you and they’re only glad to help you kay? Call me if you gotta punch trouble, I’ll hurry to kick butts with you!!

@ofsnipcr: FLA DAMN I ACTUALLY GOTTA CONTACT YOU TO ASK YOU IF YOU’RE COMING TO THE CON WOAH. But hey, I still remember the first time you commented under a post of mine, back then the dash was full of new people for me and you offered a hand to me, to get comfy in this new fandom so never gonna thank you for that! You are one of the sweetest friends I know really, you’re so talented and I love your Shinya so much! Your writing is amazing too like how can you do it sdhjsdhsd but yes imma contact you, because it would be so wonderful to meet you finally!! And have fun together heh. Thank you for everything and a huge good luck with everything you gotta do!! Throws tones of good luck and love vibes at!!

@monophagia: Vero, darkness my old friend. Why do I even try to make jokes when I can’t sdgjsdhjsdsd ANYWAYS. Dude, you’re talented kay? So leave the the bad stuff behind your back and just lemme shower you in compliments because beside your amazing writing skills, I mean you’re an ispiration for me when I read your threads, you’re also such a cool artist?? So thank you for even wanting to write with me, I am so flattered sdhjgksdghkjds  SO STAY ALWAYS COOL, I know that Yuu and Saito don’t have much of a uh... Chance to have much interaction I guess? BUT THAT’S WHY AUs EXIST I LOVE YOUR SAITO KAY 

@lordgeales: jii-chan’s kissy friend points at! NO OKAY BESIDE JOKES!! I am sorry we didn’t get to talk much but?? I am very noisy I know shjdshjsdbnsd but I might be shy too kay. Tho you better know that I love your portrayal, your writing YOUR BLOG, thank you for loving so much a character who hasn’t appeared much on the manga yet and for giving it life!! Also you are so sweet, you even thought about me for that crack thing you once sent me on IM and that made me so flattered and happy woah. I hope in the future we will get to RP more too!! 

@lestkarrkingofeurope: ahhhhhhh bruh!! I just wanted to tell you that your blog is FREAKING AWESOME!! Thank you for giving the fandom the blessing of your small King, I am so sorry I didn’t get to make Yuu jump on your muse sdjskjsda but I hope in the future I’ll get to write something with you because I’d be so flattered to! EVEN CRACK STUFF I just love your portrayal, your writing is just too stunning. Keep on with the great work and right! Thank you for working hard with your friends on the ons chapters, translating and editing them for the fandom!! 

@lendmeyourpower: heyyy there!! Just wanted to tell you that I love writing with your Guren!! And to always remind you that your Yuu was my first very inspiration in here when I just started with my blog! Thank you for wanting to write with my Yuu, it made me so very glad and remember I’m always wishing and cheering for your good health! I hope you can get better soon and fight your troubles!!

@ai-kizu-rp: MELY-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just thank you for being patient with me and for still keeping in touch with me, I keep seeing your drawings and I am cheering for you to reach higher goals with your talent!! I’ll never forget our funny times on my other RP blog, it’s a shame life doesn’t give as much time anymore to play on all of my blogs and that I focused on Yuu because he’s my spirit animal but sdghjsahgksa I will keep cheering for you from here!!!

@snipec: I have written so much I don’t know anymore what I am doing BUT JUST LEMME SAY THAT YOUR SHINYA IS AMAZING AND I HAVE MUCH FUN WRITING WITH YOU even tho I am always slow as heck BUT HE’S LIKE DAD #2 BECAUSE OF GUREN and you’re also very sweet and I hope we’ll get to interact more in the future aghjshkjsdk YUU WILL EAT TOATS WITH SHINYA ONE DAY

@selfxloathingxvamp: ahhhh hello there!! I am sorry we stopped talking because I disappeared but sdhjgsdhjsgd LIFE KEPT ME BUSY and at some point discord started to lag too so I got annoyed, me vs technlogy is a costant struggle. But hey! I wanted to thank you for being so damn kind to me, it’s always something I appreciate so much EVEN IF U CHALLENGED ME MANY TIMES IMMA ALWAYS FITE U BRUH. And you’re a super fun person to talk to, cool to RP with too! Your writing is on spot with Mika and I still hope that when I will be back I will get to talk more again with you!! Just good luck with yout stuff kay? Always gonna cross my fingers for cool friendos, that’s why I hope you get to meet with @yuichiroisms one day!! It’s cool to have someone you care so much by your side heh, so imma take this chance to tell Eri too that I wish you guys all the best, hope your paths will meet for real real one day!! Just work hard on it and if you need some help on lifting struggle don’t mind calling me, imma directly punch down the wall thumbs up!!!

@crusaderce: u know that Yuu has not accepted yet Crowley as the cuddle buddy for mama Horn right? Yuu staring intensly in the distance. Tho wait besides jokes friendo, with all of your blogs I have seen in this fandom, you write your muses so well! I love seeing how your Crowley is basically a kindergarten done teacher who gotta keep an eye on the brats bugging him sdghsdhjgsdhjksd I HOPE WHEN I’LL BE BACK WE’LL GET TO WRITE MORE TOGHER!! Stay always awesome and safe!!

@ofichinose: ahhhhhhhh friendo your Guren is just so freaking amazing, HONESTLY LIKE ALL THE MUSES YOU WRITE AS!! I am so grateful there is someone like you always fighting for Guren and who  writes such interesting analysis about him, I am glad there is someone like you to defend the dad heh. Also!!! I am so glad I got to write something with your Aoi, because at least for me it sounds so interesting and a huge battle of who’s more determined and stubborn on their ideals! So I am looking forward to seeing how it’s going to develop!! Keep on with the great work!!

@krullish: !!!!!!! Even tho we kinda have never had the chance to interact here so much because of life keeping us busy, time zone and much other crap, always gonna remind you how cool and talented you are!! You were the first blog in here I followed of the fandom and I’m glad I found you!! Thank you for always being kind because that’s a huge thing for me and I’m glad somehow I can keep an eye on you from Instagram because I admire your cosplay skills so much!! Who knows, maybe one day we’ll get to cosplay together with Nia?? It would be hella cool! Good luck with everything you gotta do and keep on with the great work!!

@retentionsx: KASPAR!! I wanted to apologise that we didn’t have much of a chance to interact in the end, but unfortunately when you came around I also got kinda busy, but hey! You’re an amazing person kay? For the few things I got to see of you, you are such a great presence in my dash and I am so glad we met! You’re hella talented, never forget about it! Your Yato, your writing is amazing and thank you so freaking much for brightening my days when you’d be around!! Just thank you so much, I wish you all the happiness because you deserve it!! Throws tones of happy vibes at!!

@all-i-want-is-yuu: friendo!! Just imma throw on you all the good vibes too because I feel like you sometimes don’t believe in your skills when?? Hey you’re a cool person, kind and sweet and that’s already something big! Thank you for being a supportive friend and remember you write super well too!! You’ll have to wait for my reply but looking forward to seeing how it’s gonna develop our thread of Yuu accidentally stealing Mika’s boots snorts

  LAST HUGE SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE, EVEN THOSE I MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS JUST KINDA EXPLODING BUT I REALLY LOVE Y’ALL AND YOU’RE ALL AMAZING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS PLACE A GREAT PLACE AND FOR MAKING MY EXPERIENCE IN HERE SO AWESOME!!

[chelsorz07]

does everybody hate my walks down memory lane yet?

This one’s actually a year older than the others. 2009 vs 2017

BASIC INFORMATION Name: chelsea. I mean my last name has changed but my first name hasn’t. Birthday: july 26. -- 274 days till i'm 21!! I guess 274 days till I’m 29? Shoe Size: eight. Nine. My feet got fat along with the rest of me. Hair Colour: dark reddish brown. Several different shades of reddish brown. Plus some grey. Eye Colour: hazel. More like green on the outside, brown on the inside. Hazel would be its own separate color. Relationship Status: taken. Married. Zodiac: leo. Still. School: none. Been done with that shit for a decade now. __________________________________________________ FAVOURITES Colour: green. Green, plaid, black, grey. Male Celebrity: mike lobel. Jensen Ackles. Female Celebrity: sophia bush. Danneel Ackles. Shoes: chucks & flip flops. My grey BareTraps booties. Brand: starting to realllly love old navy. especially when i can get pants, 2 shirts, and a jacket all for 36 bucks lol That’s really broad. Like brand of clothes? I don’t have one. Brand of makeup? Tarte. Brand of shoes? Nike. Brand of food? Great Value idk lol Book: second helpings. The dictionary. JK it’s still and will always be Second Helpings.  Sport: football. Football. TV Show: one tree hill. Supernatural. Gum: bubblicious hubba bubba max blue raspberry. I don’t like gum anymore. Hair Colour on Opposite Sex: brown or black. Brown. __________________________________________________ NAME SOMETHING THAT STARTS WITH A: aftershave...no idea why that popped in my head haha Absolut vodka. B: bubbles. Barnacles. C: chicken. Cheerleading. D: dark. Dartboard. E: entertainment. Elliptical. F: fooooood. Frontierland (spn). G: great. Gyration. J: jizz lol Jell-o. K: knife. that was jo's answer but i can't think of anything else. Kiss. L: latino - where the hell are these words coming from lol Laser. M: mother. Megaphone. N: nicotine. Narcolepsy. O: otter. Outback Steakhouse because I just ate there the other day. P: poker. Petticoat. Wow. Q: quailman!  Quaker Boy. Man I miss that job.

R: reese's cup. Rage. S: shit. Salmon. T: titties? Tupperware. U: underwear. Uganda. V: van. Ventriloquist. W: walker. Wakeboard. X: xylophone - and no you spelled it right lol X-ray. Y: yorkie. Yosemite. Z: zane (hot guy on H2o). Zillow. I’m in the market for a house. __________________________________________________ LOVE Have a Crush: you could say that. Many, on celebrities. Do they like you back: yep. They don’t even know me. Or are you in a Relationship Now: yeah. Married. If Someone Likes You: doesn't matter. It’s whatevs. __________________________________________________ 5.. 5 FAVOURITE MOVIES 1. bring it on. 2. grind. 3. halloween. 4. dirty dancing. 5. degrassi goes hollywood. not so much for the movie, but for the fact that manny & jay got back together. Mean Girls, Bring it On, Grind, Halloween, and Pocahontas. 5 FAVOURITE CELEBRITIES 1. keith urban. 2. mike lobel. 3. sophia bush. 4. hilarie burton. 5. and yes, james lafferty. Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki, Randy Owen, and Johnny Rzeznik. 5 THINGS YOU FIND IN YOUR ROOM 1. pandas - everywhere. 2. bed. 3. guitars. 4. tv. 5. clothes all over the floor. Mini fridge, bookshelves, record player, still clothes all over the floor, and Dave because he’s sleeping right now. Or he’s trying to. 5 THINGS YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT 1. friends. 2. music. 3. chicken. 4. my phone. 5. beer. Money, Netflix, family/friends, Rockstar, and music. And cigarettes. 5 BEST ARTISTS/BANDS 1. goo goo dolls. 2. poison. 3. keith urban. 4. the spill canvas. 5. firehouse. Goo Goo Dolls, Alabama, Matchbox Twenty, All Time Low, and Sara Bareilles. 5 BEST BRANDS/STORES 1. old navy. 2. arizona/penney's. 3. avon. 4. spencer's. 5. thsirthell. Amazon, ULTA, Hot Topic, Sheetz, and Joann Fabrics just because I get a discount and they have all my Halloween decorations. __________________________________________________ QUESTIONS 1. Have an obsession? a few. Many. 2. Where do you plan to go this summer? road trip down south with mah bee eff eff. Well the Foo Fighters are gonna be in Cleveland July 25, which is the day before my birthday. So I wanna go to that. Also you can do tours of Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville. 3. What Month is it? octoberrr. Obviously since I took this quiz eight years ago today, it’s also now October. 4. Anything big coming up? not really. Hopefully buying a house and moving home soon. 5. Why are you doing this? need something else to do while i watch gymnastics & wait for it to be 4 so i can watch the bills beat carolina. The sound on my tv keeps cutting out and it’s really aggravating so I got on my laptop to catch up on youtube videos but I got sidetracked doing this. 6. Like your parents? no. My dad yes. My mom...ehh, things are slowly improving. 7. Do you sleep with a teddy bear? heffalump. Nope.  8. Do you eat when you're nervous? i eat all the time. I didn’t even read my previous answer and “I eat all the time” popped into my head as soon as I saw the question. 9. Own a dress? surprisingly...i have like four or five...yeah, that's a lot for me lol I have a couple but I can’t wear them because of my skin. 10. Are you a fast typer? quite. 80-90 wpm. 11. Do you wanna have kids? no. Yes. 12. Who do you usually have Christmas dinner with? my parents, my sisters, mark, austen, maranda (now that she's here haha), cindy, and emily. and diane & the kids show up at some point during the day. My family but I won’t be home for Christmas this year. 13. Who do you celebrate New Years with? i haven't really celebrated it at all lately...but this year the crew's getting smashed for sure. I don’t celebrate it. 14. Where do you live? here. Ohio. Unfortunately. 15. Have you made a cootie catcher in your younger years? oh god, so many. Yeah a lot. 16. Plans this weekend? it's over. bowling, shopping, out with people, dinner, out again. Well this past weekend we went to Canton on Friday, I worked Saturday and then we got groceries, and we went home Sunday and came back here Monday. Next weekend I have no plans except work. 17. To your left is: wall, window, fan, cabinet, cd tower, atari stuff. Table, Dish remote, lamp, bottle of water, picture of my sister, some random mail, two candles, and Dave’s wallet/keys/deodorant/Axe spray. 18. To your right is: wall, fridge, pandas, guitars, amp, cabinet. My phone, Vizio remote, sound bar remote, another table with a bunch of crap on it, and the couch. 19. In your pocket is: nothing. Cigarettes, lighter, my debit card, and a Sheetz receipt.  20. Nervous about anything? kinda. Not really. 21. Scared of the Dark? nope. Negative. 22. Have any phobias? several. Driving, bridges, weather, specifically tornadoes even though I’ve never seen one, bees, being in public, the possibility of finding out that I can’t have kids, riding in a car with Dave, planes...I’m sure there are more but I can’t think of them all right now. 23.Your Opinion on Turtles? indifferent. Same. 24. Whats a Store near your house? save a lot, tops, arby's, family dollar, dollar general, the liquor store, CVS, the music store, goodwill, country fair, and all the places on main st. The closest one is a hair salon but idk if that counts as a “store”...probably one of the restaurants on 3rd st or Dollar General. 25. What did you do last march break? nothing? I don’t have March break. 26. Like Gum? only one kind. No. 27. Age you’d like to be? 274 days older than i am. Don’t care. 28. Place you would rather be? i'm good. Bradford. 29. Were you ever obsessed with High School Musical? haha yeah, i was for a while. You betcha. I still love it. Not the third one though. 30. Movie You Would like to see? paranormal activity. For the record, Paranormal Activity was shitty AF. I want to see Thank You For Your Service __________________________________________________ THE END Happy you're done? kinda. I have to poop so yeah I guess. What are you gonna do now? watch tv, watch football, then eat dinner. Poop, smoke a cigarette, and watch youtube videos.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #53

“easy to be sleazy when you’ve got a filthy mind.”

what's the last movie you watched on your own?   i couldn't tell you.  i don't watch movies on my own, it's boring. what about the last movie you watched with another person?   chelsea and i had "gbf" on netflix, but we didn't really watch it. what about the last movie you saw at the cinema? was it good?   colleen, chelsea, and i saw "trolls" for a buck.  it was SOOOO cute. do you attend school, college, or uni?   an art university, yeah. what do you study, wherever you study?   digital photography. kisses on the cheek or the neck?   cheek if you wanna be casual, but neck kisses if you want me to rip your fucking clothes off lmao. how do you earn your keep?   i don't work.  i'm ashamed of it, but i don't and can't work like a "normal" human being.  i'm trying to find a job with my very limiting criteria, but it's not easy, at all.  i doubt i'll ever have a proper job until i can be a freelance photographer. if you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be?   GERMAN, latin, and ummm... i mean i guess spanish, because it'd be most convenient to me. who do you usually text the most?   my mom or my best friend colleen. shaved legs or shaved arms?   legs.  i don't shave my arms. fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs?   i like scrambled and cheesy eggs. have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed?   no.  it'd be nice at least once. have you always got good grades?   from elementary all the way through high school, yeah.  i'm struggling in college... list four things about your facial appearance:   i have blue eyes, glasses, no freckles, and a piercing on the right side of my nose. list four things about your general appearance:   i'm overweight because fuck heartbreak, i'm white, i have no ass, and i have large breasts. list four things you like about yourself:   i'm passionate as fuck, i honestly think i have good morals, i'm loyal, and very understanding. list four things you dislike about yourself:   i'd kill for one man, i'm jealous to the point of hatred, i overreact to literally everything, i can't socialize, you want me to go on? this quiz is pretty different to others, right?   lmao you ruined it cats or dogs?   while i personally find felines to be more interesting as animals, i prefer dogs as pets. are you hungry right now?   no.  my appetite pill is actually working. what do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo?   lmao i was one of those people, i love it!  document your story!  it's beautiful! can you work the washing machine?   ... no.  embarrassing, right.  idk what settings to put it on. do you like your photo being taken?   NO.  other people don't know how to flatter my face. do you like taking photos of yourself?   i mean, i'm a photographer, so every now and again. next gig you're going to?   who knows?  i'd like to go to the carolina rebellion this year, BADLY, but money is such an issue in my family. favorite color?   maroon, baby. when do you plan on moving out?   when i'm with a significant other.  i used to believe i could live on my own in an apartment or something, but no.  depression would consume me entirely. is there someone in your life you wish you never met?   of course there is.  jabari, who tried raping my sister right in front of me, for one.  dustin, ashley's ex, who did nothing but break her heart and abuse her.  there are more.  i personally don't believe everyone comes into one's life for a reason. who/what is your favorite cartoon character?   i don't really know.  i like garfield.  and courage the cowardly dog. what do you think of your mother?   she's very supportive, loving, funny, rational, and serves as my rock.  i'd be lost as fuck if i didn't have my mom.  just sometimes, she thinks she knows more than she does about me. your father?   i love him so much and i live in constant regret about hating him for so many years.  i wish i'd burned that letter i wrote him in opposition of actually sending that shit, because i wonder all the time if he still thinks about what i told him.  he'd do anything for me, and i hope i can repay him for that one day. your siblings (if there are any)?   tiffany: i don't know you, but i wish i did.  misty: you're great, and i miss you.  katie: you confuse me, but i still love you and hope you're okay.  bobby: hey now, you're an all-star.  seeing you with christian lights up my whole world.  i hope i'm half the parent you are some day.  ashley: we're too much alike in an odd way.  you've been through so much, yet you've come so far as a person.  i mean jesus christ, you're a radiologist!  and to know you were once suicidal, that's so inspirational to me.  you have a husband who loves you, even after, like me, believing you could never love another.  you have two beautiful children who love you so much, but i wonder if they can ever love you like i do.  nicole: i worry about you.  you need to leave that damn boy, he's not good enough for you, and he is going to drag you down.  you're too big and bold a person to be chained.  i worry about your happiness quotient as long as he's around, but regardless, i know you're going to go pretty damn far. how many hours do you spend online a day?   i don't really know, but i can't say i care too much.  i don't get why people treat the internet like it's so horrible.  like, let's think about it.  most people, when they have nothing better to do, what do they do?  they watch television.  i sit on the computer instead.  at least i'm engaging my brain. explain your current feelings for your last ex bf/gf:   i'm entirely aware i'm more than in love with him, i'm obsessed with him.  you ain't truly been in love until it gets that far, hunny. how do you feel about teen relationships?   they're fine?  they can lead to a forever relationship. who’s room of the opposite sex were you in last? when?   uhhh.  my dad's and his wife's when i was passing through to go take a shower. what are your views on homosexuals in general?   they're just as human as a heterosexual, if not more open-minded as half the heterosexual populace has issue with them. do you and any of your friends have a "song?"   ha ha ha, yeah.  colleen and i say our "song" is that country piece called "friends" by ummm... blake shelton, i think?  it's such a cutesy song, and when she first showed it to me, she said it made her think of us.  i hate country, yet i still jam out with her every time we hear it. (: which is more important to you - friends or family?   family.  who says some friends can't be family? which is worse - smoking, drinking, or drugs?   drugs.  easily.  allow me to also clarify, alcohol is a drug, so drinking is pretty equal?  nicotine is a drug too, right? is there one person you would seriously kill if you could get away with it?   um.  only if i wouldn't feel guilty.  which i would. what is the last scary movie that actually scared you?   the only scary movie to ever scare me is "the rite."  only because it played with an irrational fear of mine: being impregnated by satan or a demon in general.  i'm afraid of pregnancy period, but the idea of it being the devil's child and it ripping out of your fucking stomach like can you not what are you listening to?   "gospel" by panic! at the disco.  i love his voice in this song so fucking much.  them high notes in the chorus, tho. what is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others?   i'm single. how long have you liked the person you like right now?   five years how many shots can you take?   i've never taken a shot before, and truly, i don't really want to.  i mean i'm sure i will at some point, i just don't have the desire to because i hate the taste of alcohol, and shots are so concentrated. what's a fact about the last person you kissed?   he just turned 23. do you think you're old?   no, shame i feel it, though. are you a jealous person?   in general?  actually, no.  i only get jealous when it comes to jason. when is the next time you will kiss someone?   you tell me. has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs?   i don't think so. do you have a passion for anything?   meerkats!!  photography!!  silent hill and gaming in general!!  rhett and link/gmm!!  heavy metal!! are you a romantic person?   i honestly think i am. what do you think of when i say "lumberjack?"   lmao omg the first thing that came to mind was rhett singing and dancing to the song he made up on the high-heeled lumberjack challenge on gmm. how many children do you want?   one-three.  one if childbirth/pregnancy was way too much, two is most likely, three is a big maybe. do you like mexican food?   nope. do you have a favorite author?   not really. do you have an ex who still talks to you? do they want to be with you again?   if juan even counts, yeah, we talk like what, less than even once a month.  he's made it apparent he wants to be with me again, but pretty sure he's a player, so. do your legs get really itchy after shaving them?   christ, yeah.  my left leg got so itchy once after shaving that i have a large scar going up my shin from scratching it so badly.  even putting lotion on didn't help. do you wear a ring on your finger?   yeah, a ruby/garnet/whatever ring on my right ring finger.  i just put it on permanently the other day.  i got it for christmas. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it is pierced.  i've thought of taking it out in favor of getting the septum pierced though, but i changed my mind. have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?   no, but a guy with a tattoo has kissed me. which berry is your favorite?   strawberries, definitely. have you ever tried to learn a foreign language?   i took four semesters of german. would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?   lake. do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the winter?   omg yaaass would you ever like to own a chandelier?   hell yeah.  i'm big on those creepy octopus chandeliers. when is the last time you went to a carnival?   oh fuck me.  last time i went to a carnival/festival one night was over a year ago with jason and dillon.  i went on a ride i was terrified of (jason was a bit iffy too; he doesn't like heights), and dillon made a self-mutilation joke that nearly ruined the whole night. how many notebooks do you own? are they all filled?   oh jeez.  LOADS.  i have a drawer filled with 'em... i wanna throw them out though.  really old, embarrassing writings. have you ever lived on a university campus?   no. what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?   mike's hard, i guess.  not like i've tried many. when was the last time you saw a photo of your ex?   long-ish time ago.  i have a picture from our prom beside my bed, but it's buried beneath papers.  so probably the last time i checked his facebook months ago. do you “binge-watch” tv shows?   haven't done that since "sherlock" with jason. do you play any games on your phone?   not anymore.  i had pokemon go, but i had to get rid of it after i ran out of room on my phone, despite having deleted every other app but pinterest and my period tracker.  not like it's really a fun game for rural players, anyway.  you never have pokeballs because pokestops don't exist. have you ever shaved your face?   no.  i mean i've waxed my eyebrows and lip and plucked stray hairs on my chin, but never shaved it. what was the last vaccination you got?   no idea.  probably for an std, y'know, those shots you get as a teenager. how long does it usually take you to get over a break up?   lmao been a year and a handfull of months, still not over it. do you get motion sickness?   nope. do you often forget what you were just about to say?   always.  makes me feel stupid. how many blue-eyed people have you kissed?   none. do you have a friend named holly?   i knew a holly in elementary school, but she was never my friend. what are your parents' middle names?   marie and john. does frequent use of swear words offend or upset you?   not at all, because i don't believe in our definition of "profanity."  who honestly gives a valid fuck about whether a word is "bad" or not.  what makes a word "bad," anyway?  however, i do believe in harmful words that i don't like hearing.  like, calling someone a bitch, to me, is just as bad as calling someone a mean person.  because they mean the same thing.  what makes "bitch" worse?  also, i hate derogatory terms to certain groups, like "the 'n' word" for black people.  otherwise, "swear" all you want, i really don't care. when/where did you meet your first love?   well, to be technical, facebook.  i thought he was a jason i did know, so i accepted his friend request.  thank god i did.  he wanted to be my friend to begin with because he saw me in the hallway at school and, according to him, he thought immediately, "that girl's going to save me."  he remembers exactly what I was wearing, everything.  how he found my facebook, i guess i should probably wonder, lol.  it's so funny, how he claims i was going to save him.  and now i'm the one who needs him.  funny shit. how many facebook friends do you have?   uhhhh 126, i think? which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with?   MY GRANDMA HOLY FUCK have your parents met the person you're currently interested in?   yes, they have. who was your first major crush?   i'm not entirely sure.  maybe this kid named dylan? do you still talk to that person?   haven't in well over a decade.  lmao wait, did i ever even talk to him?  i just thought he was super cute. is there anything you need to do, that you're trying to avoid doing?   yeah.  i hate late homework. do you have any drinking cups with disney characters on them?   we haven't for years.  well, wait.  we may still have some. will you be moving anytime soon?   probably.  we were supposed to get evicted because mom can't afford the rent, yet we're still here.  but our landlord won't be merciful forever; mom still can't pay for it. have you ever written a book? perhaps you are writing one right now?   never finished any... oh yeah!  but one from when i was younger. favorite flavored milk shake?   vanilla do you or your best friend play in a band?   nah. can two living souls become one?   figuratively, sure, literally, no. last song you listened to and what does it mean to you?   i'm listening to "ready to go" by panic! at the disco.  first time listening to it; i'm on a panic! streak.  it just started, so no opinion yet. have you seen the entire harry potter series?   no.  jason and i watched a couple of the movies, but i could never get into it. have you ever been put to sleep for surgery?   i actually don't know.  i had tubes put in my ears as a baby, but i don't remember it at all. have you ever had a pregnancy scare?   okay this is funny.  despite never having sex, my anxiety made me believe by some miracle dry-humping had gotten me pregnant because i missed my period.  like i was so panicked i was even talking about it with jason.  god bless that man, i can only IMAGINE what he must've thought. when was the last time you went bowling?   some months ago with colleen, bradley, and girt. are you expected to help fix thanksgiving dinner?   no. have you ever lost anyone close to cancer?   no, thank god. do you personally know anyone who is transgender?   i don't think so. what’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?   original is the shit. what’s your favorite type of juice?   i really like mango. what was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?   dude, fuck latin. do you know anyone named amity?   no, but that's a cool name! what do you think of people who always wear make-up?   i really try not to have an opinion because that's really not my business at all, but i can't help but feel a bit sad.  like... i dunno, i just think you should be more comfortable with your own skin instead of always feeling like you've gotta cover it.  my older sister was like that for years, and it always made me sad, because she's so beautiful.  she wouldn't go out without it or take pictures if she didn't have some on. is there a smell that gives you headaches?   gasoline. what’s your least favorite thing about summer?   everything?  can i say everything??? have you ever wanted to vlog?   not really.  i lead a boring life and i am WAY too shy and awkward. do you have any of the guitar heroes/rock bands?   plenty.  original, ac/dc, metallica, green day, van halen, greatest hits, and i'm positive i'm missing some. have you ever worn flip flops in the snow?   lmao yes. do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to?   of course i do. have you ever moved to a different state?   nope.  been in nc my whole life. have you ever been to germany?   no, but i'd REALLY like to go! what decade do you think is the best musically?   hm.  '80s. have you ever written poetry or fiction?   yup.  some cringy stuff lmao. have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend?   yes.  we lived with another couple, who were our friends. how do you feel about your relationship status?   it's boring and lonely. how many relationships have you been in?   one legitimate one.  one puppy-love.  one misunderstanding that lasted less than a day. what’s something you do that really frustrates people who are closest to you?   i can be VERY passive and submissive.  like, ask me what i wanna do?  "i don't care."  wanna do this, brittany?  "if you want to."  is this fine for dinner, brittany?  "sure, if you feel like making it."  colleen HATES this about me. do you care what people think?   sometimes.  sometimes not at all.  sometimes way too much. is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you?   not anymore.  jason was like that.  it was supernatural. do you like the color yellow?   no, actually. what was your favorite game when you were a child?   the spyro games. when was the last time you had blood drawn?   last time i was at the er for mental reasons.  they always take your blood to ensure you're not on drugs. have you ever hated someone but felt pity for them at the same time?   honestly?  no. what eyeshadow color suits you best?   black, baby. in regards to kissing, full on making-out or will a peck suffice?   depends on where we are and how passionate we're feeling. are you a ke$ha fan?   no. how short is too short for shorts/skirts?   please at least keep your full ass covered. have you even swam in a lake? did you freak out about the germs, afterwards?   i have, and not particularly. have you ever snuck-out to see a guy?   nope. does your cell-phone take decent pictures?   NO.  i actually still have my old phone just to take my selfies lmao. have you ever sexted?   it's my biggest regret. have you ever posed topless with a friend?   i have not. do you shed hair everywhere you go?   ha ha yeah. where do you part your hair?   to the far left do you talk with your hands?   absolutely.  jason used to make fun of me for it, then he started to do it. do guy's adams apple's gross you out?   no. lil' wayne, hopsin, kanye west, or kid cudi?   i don't particularly like any of them, but there is a song by hopsin that makes me laugh. have you ever questioned your mental health?   i'm not questioning it, i've accepted it. when you go to the beach, are you swimming, tanning, playing, or searching for shells?   swimming and looking for shells! do you wash your hair every day?   no, that's bad for you. do you have long eyelashes?   my old english teacher stopped class just to point out they were once lmao.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #68

“all the drugs in this world won’t save her from herself.”

is there anything you are currently trying to learn? as far as book-smarts go, no. about something like how to live, obviously. what is an opinion you used to have that you no longer hold now? not even that long ago, i believed homosexuality was a sin, but no, i did not hate gays. i had many lgbt+ friends i'm glad i don't hold this belief anymore, though... post a picture of you 5 years ago and another one that is recent! what changes do you like or dislike? oh god, me from five years ago, i'm scared. and i'll go ahead and tell you what i dislike: i gained a lot of weight. there's probably nothing i like except my glasses, honestly.  i wish my tragus piercing hadn't gotten so infected, too. the first picture you see is a photograph i took (self-timer, obvs.) of myself and my old snake mona lisa. it's probably my most well-known piece on da. the second is. yeah. whatever.

what's your favorite hobby? is there a hobby you would like to pursue if money wasn't an issue? photographing animals, honestly. and there are PLENTY of hobbies i'd pursue if i wasn't dirt-poor. most notably would probs be traveling. what is a food that everybody seems to like but you don’t? FRIED CHICKEN EW what is the smoothest way a guy has hit on you? how did you react to it? omfgggg it's right on the tip of my tongue this thing jason said to me once that ended up with sexual things omg it was so fucking smooth WHAT WAS IT. have you ever sat in the back of a police car? yes. here at least, when you're going from the er to the mental hospital, cops take you. have you ever had to call the cops on someone? no. have any of your friends ever overdosed? friends, no, but my half-sister did (she's alive). what do you think about the recent addition of a male model in covergirl? i'm neutral, really. i mean it kinda irks me that it's covergirl and he's a man (or is he transgender, i honestly don't know), but i think it's cool they're trying new things. i'm find with men wearing makeup. have you ever smoked heroin? okay, i knew you could inject heroin, but you can smoke it? i'm perfectly happy not knowing much about drugs, soooo... never knew that. do you own a gun? i'm not legally allowed to due to having depression that has prompted me to be suicidal multiple times. i don't even think my mom's allowed to because i live with her. game that came out recently you're most excited for? THE LAST GUARDIAN MADE ME MOIST. resident evil 7 was a close second. i miss playing games. :( what do you think of hot dogs? they're good. had two for dinner tonight. favorite christmas song? "most wonderful time of the year"!!! as for instrumental pieces, "christmas chimes." what do you prefer to drink in the morning? milk. what is your favorite piece of jewelry? the spiked collar with drooping chains that doesn't even fit me anymore lol how did you bring in the new year? drank and listened to music at my best friend's house. favorite kind of snake? i really like cobras how many dogs do you have? three: beagle/cocker spaniel named teddy, boxer named cali, and jack russell mix named bentley. does someone have a crush on you? i think so. but i think he has a mere sexual infatuation with me. i know what he's known for. what song do you want played at your funeral? either "take it like a woman" or "every woman has a name" by alice cooper what're watching currently? markiplier play today's episode of re7. he makes it so funny, but i wish i could play the game myself, but i honestly doubt i'll ever have a ps4. :( what is your favorite game show? "family feud" how many times a day do you use the restroom? maaany times. i have to pee a lot. do you still speak to your ex’s parents? i fucking wish. i love his parents, and i really hope they loved me. allen (his dad) made me feel shy a lot because he was such a jester, but i still really liked him. he was a good man and helped raise his sons well. who was the last person who drew you a picture? probably aubree, my niece. be honest — do you floss? i don't. do you have any flags in your house? no. are there any ‘keep off the grass’ signs where you live? nope. have you ever walked on the grass with such a sign? no, i'm not an asshole. do you like kiwis? oh fuck yes. have you ever had a main part in a play? i have not. have you ever driven a tractor? no. do you want any piercings? snake eyes on tongue, labret on lip, more on my ears... do you prefer foxes or wolves? i love both, but foxes. could you ever deliver a baby? my own baby? not without an epidural, no. i'm almost positive i'd have a heart attack. do you think suits are sexy? fucking yes are you ready for kids now? it's funny. i was like, a week before jason left. i haven't even told my mother, anybody: the thought came into my mind that i wanted a kid veeeeery soon before j left. i didn't truly consider the thought, however, as it would've be irresponsible, but thoughts are still valid. now that he's gone and everything, no, i'm not ready at all. i practically fell down a well. how old is your youngest sibling? she's 18. do you like your first name? it's okay, i guess. which parent was more strict when you were growing up? definitely mom. dad went with the flow. favorite boy’s name? severin, vincent, or luther. where were you born? rocky mount, north carolina. if you get married, will you take your partner’s name? i will. if you’re single, how long have you been single for? over a year. do you know how your parents met? yes, through work. what’s your LEAST favorite smiley? XD idk like the upper-case "x" pisses me off and idk why??? have you ever been told your eyes were big?  jason was being all poetic once and commented on the size of my pupils while we were staring at each other, just smiling. my actual eyes are definitely not big. do you watch shane dawson on youtube? i do not. would you ever spend a day to see what it’s like to be homeless? no. no. i never in my life want to not have such a basic thing as a house. have you ever had a yard sale? multiple times. what celebrity did your most current ex resemble? omg omg omg i've always wanted to know who one of the guys in the music video of "king for a day" by pierce the veil + kellin quinn is. he's the first guy shown in the music video and is also in the thumbnail, on the left. i think he's the singer, actually... their hair is quite similar (jason's is pure black, tho, and jason would need to straighten his like he sometimes did), as is their apparent skin tone, and their faces bear a resemblance, too. jason's still cuter, tho. ;v; has someone ever told you that you were sexy? yeah. how tall are you compared to the most recent person you dated? i reached his chest/shoulders. who do you think would make a good president? i oath this is no bias, but honestly, jason. he's more liberal than i am so i wouldn't agree with all this policies, but overall, i believe he would be an amazing president. he is very intelligent and a morally good human being. he always backs up his beliefs with great reason, and he is also very open-minded (i never pushed my religion upon him, but he was very open to my ramblings), and he believes very firmly all harmless beliefs should be respected and allowed to be heard, he is extremely calm and reasonable, and i honestly couldn't imagine a single war beneath him, as he finds violence to be so unnecessary, even childish. i could honestly ramble on about why he'd make a good president for hours, but he'd never be one, he hates politics. what would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean? panic to the point of cardiac arrest, i'm sure. would you ever sell your soul? on one condition: jason comes back to me, permanently. for that? i'd do anything. where did you last wear a bathing suit? the beach last may. do you have a best friend? though we're in a fight currently and not talking to one another, i still consider her my best friend, yes. does your last ex have a job? yes. hence why i refuse to go to office depot. ever. have your parents ever caught you coming home drunk? no, i've never come home from somewhere intoxicated. do you think two people can last forever? depends on your definition of "forever". i personally don't know what happens to couples when both die, especially when one person goes to a different afterlife, but so long you mortally live? if you truly love one another, you will. is there one person you look at and automatically smile? fucking jason. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friends? many times as a child, only with colleen and chelsea as an adult. what would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? if i found out jason had cheated on me... i'd shatter. that'd just mean he never truly loved me. have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue ring? i haven't. imagine it'd be fun. *wink* your ex REALLY needs you at 3 am and you have a way to their house would you? if he needed me and i didn't even have a way there, i'd still go. my ass would walk. i promised him forever, and personally, i mean that shit. who did you last kiss? romantically, jason. romantically or otherwise, still jason. who did you dance with last? colleen. who is your arch-enemy? i consider ashley, jason's girlfriend, my only true enemy/rival. if you could have one person in your bed tonight, who would it be? jason. one more fucking time. we don't even have to "do" anything, i just want to cuddle with him at least one more time. i honestly do not believe i've slept soundly since he left. where does your best friend work? a bank. do you like fire? it fascinates me, yes. have you ever swallowed gum? yeah. ever done or considered to do drugs? never done any, never truly considered it, either. have you ever flipped off someone? playfully? yes. seriously? yes. do you prefer to hold or be held? i prefer being held, because i feel safer, but there were times where i wanted to hold jason, too. gave me a motherly sensation. can you count your number of serious relationships on one hand? i can count them on one finger, lol. hate it when you go over to someone’s house and do absolutely nothing? not really. i'm used to doing "nothing," which is really just browsing on your phone and sitting in front of the tv, let's be real. are you one of those people who gets jealous of boys/girls your current bf/gf dated? dated, no. dates now, hell fucking yes i'm jealous. do you like falling asleep listening to rain? *sexual moaning* have you ever been around someone who was high? i've been on the bus beside jason's former best friend who was high, but i wasn't like... "around" him, by my definition? i wasn't paying him any mind. don’t you just love the smell of hollister and abercrombie and fitch? i haven't been to either in years, i don't remember the smell. do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis? no, i never do. i'd prefer to not get skin cancer. what do you bite more, your tongue, lip, or cheek? as of right now, i'm constantly biting the back of my cheek because of my wisdom tooth, it's entirely unintentional... it's making a gash in it. :/ when was the last time you drank water? veeery surprisingly, just a few minutes ago when i took my pills. i had water beside me last night because i was feeling a bit dehydrated. otherwise, i never drink water. what’s your favorite flavor of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? mountain dew voltage, honestly, despite how bad it is for you. what time do you usually have dinner? it varies kinda widely. usually between 6:00-7:30, but sometimes we eat as early as 5:30. are there any cracks or scuffs on your phone? nah. have you ever been approached by someone in public preaching about religion? not necessarily approached. i was riding home from school with a family friend's grandfather, and the whole ride there, he talked about religion and even gave all of us little bibles. i'll admit even as a christian, it made me a bit uncomfortable. what do you want for your birthday? this probably won't begin on my birthday since it's on a sunday, but i'm going to a very highly-rated tattoo parlor to start my first half-sleeve tattoo! mom also said i can probably get my lip re-pierced that day, yay! :D we're also going to olive garden, probably; og is a personal trigger for me, so if we go, we'll go to the one jason never worked for. what clothes did you sleep in last night? my pajama pants with harley quinn on them that say "hey, puddin'" and a black tank top. usual attire. what store do you usually get food at? wal-mart, food lion, or harris teeter. it vastly depends. are you planning on taking a shower today? no, i took one last night. you're not supposed to shower everyday, it's bad for both your hair and skin. did you ever get into the undertale fad? no. i've watched two of my favorite let's players play it, and it's interesting to watch merely because of their commentary, but the game itself isn't something i would enjoy myself. what was the highlight of your week? errr, i like, never have one. my days are monotonous and uneventful. this past week's been no different. when is the next time you will kiss someone? i love seeing this question so much and thus usually deleting it because like who ACTUALLY knows with certainty when they're next going to kiss someone??? do you drink? regularly, no. i barely even drink on special occasions. what states have you lived in? only north carolina. last thing to annoy you? colleen's bringing our drama to her facebook posts again. grow the fuck up. is there just some people that you don’t get along with? rarely, because i tolerate a lot, but sometimes, yes. you find out your ex is having a kid with someone you don’t like, you say? i wouldn't say anything, probably. but i can assure you i'd lose my mind, whatever's left of it, anyway. what kind of surveys DON'T you take? the obvious is bold surveys. you don't get to elaborate on anything, so it's boring. :/ i also don't take those with entirely generic questions (name, age, etc.) what is your birthstone? amethyst. do you have a maid service? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fam i'm poor af. what is your favorite candy? reese's. if you don't count chocolate, then probably sour patch kids. when did you get your car? why assume i even have a car, survey maker?? has anyone ever told one of your secrets they promised they wouldn’t tell? i'm sure someone has. do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? lmao honestly i'm probably that friend, just with my ex. i don't really judge people on this... love is a viciously strong emotion. are you nice to everyone? honestly, i try very hard to be, and i think i've mostly accomplished this. not always, definitely not, but i think mostly, yes. i just don't see the point in being mean. do you have a really big stuffed animal? i don't. what are you going to do after this? take another survey; i take multiple surveys and just combine them into one. saddest song by your favorite artist? i have a number of favorites, so i'll list 'em: ozzy osbourne: "see you on the other side" is fucking GORGEOUS. metallica: "fade to black" more like rip my fucking heart out otep: "invisible" omg i cri marilyn manson: "suicide is painless" fucks with me rammstein: "nebel," probably. "feuer und wasser" is a close second. NO NO NO "DONAUKINDER" IS #1 cradle of filth: "the death of love" tells a pretty deep story a day to remember: "if it means a lot to you" is beautiful. do you prefer to be cuddled or kissed? by a significant other, kissed. are kisses better with or without tongue?  SHOW ME YER TONGUE MOTHERFUCKER someone tells you that you deserve better than the person you currently have a thing for. you say? "i most certainly don't." incidentally, who is that special person? jason, obviously. what do your friends think of them? none of them like him currently for pretty much ruining my life. it's borderline hate from colleen. i don't know how she even managed to talk to him at work once. what is a good place in your town for a first date? honestly, i think the movies are probably best. you barely have to talk to each other so you can warm up to one another's presence. me personally, i'd have a tough time at like a dinner date or something because i'd have to talk to you the whole time. are roses really as romantic as people say? i think so, sure. where would you like to propose/be proposed to? somewhere public, honestly. even before dating, i liked the idea of pda (that wasn't "too much," anyway), and to be proposed to in public? christ dude, i'd die. i think my fairytale is being proposed to in a fancy restaurant, but realistically, if i truly loved you, i'd accept a proposal beside a trashcan for all i care. do you expect the guy to pay for everything? absolutely not. do you like the color pink? i sure do. what’s your next piercing going to be? labret on my lip. what are you most self-conscious about, physically? stretch-marks on my stomach. ew. what kind of car do you WANT to drive? idk the type or anything, but i know i want it to be a burnt orange color. when was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”? i couldn't tell you. sometime with jason, i guess. have you ever watched anyone sleep? for a minute or so, yes. i've never like loomed over the bed and stared at someone, though. do you ever pretend to agree with someone even though you may actually feel differently? honestly, no. if you are directly engaged with me, ex. it's only polite i answer whatever you say, i'm far more liable to tell you the truth. if you're kinda just rambling to yourself or whatever, i may say "mhm" or something in acknowledgement that i'm hearing you. have you ever witnessed either of your parents being heartbroken? mom, yeah. she won't admit it, but i know my dad leaving broke her. have you ever wished you could hurt somebody as much as they hurt you? ... i have. as a fleeting thought, anyway. would you help a friend bury a dead body? no. i'm not getting tied into some legal business. if someone cusses/swears a lot, do you assume they have bad grammar? ... no??? what the fuck kind of connection is that??? have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out?  the only time i've ever passed out, doctors considered that possibility. it's not guaranteed, but that could be why. no one was sure why i passed out. if your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them?  hell yes i would. do you believe everyone is gifted with something?  honestly? no. do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? i have a number... but first, let it be known he's not my "lover" anymore. we're not dating, yet i'm madly in love with him. i've shared one picture of us kissing, so here, have another. it was jason's 19th birthday, i think, and i sprayed him with silly string. i miss how i looked back then. i was so slim and healthy-looking. ;-;

how would your parents react if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant)? mom would be a mix of surprised, happy, but i think more than anything, very worried. she would support me though, i'm sure. dad... it's hard to imagine what he'd feel. probably disappointment. has facebook ruined your life? lmao no??? are you afraid of frogs? of course not! virginia, jason's mom, LOOOVES frogs. they're her favorite animal. the house is heavily decorated with them. i loved hearing her fangirl over anything with frogs on it. (: who is the hottest person alive? link neal *swoons* do you know anyone named caleb? i have a friend i haven't talked to since high school named caleb. if you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it?   hell yes i would. what was your favorite bedtime story as a child?   i had a number, really.  not sure i had a favorite.  i loved "10 minutes 'til bedtime," "stellaluna," "what makes a rainbow?", and hmmm... i'm blanking, but i'm positive there's more. in front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. if you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger?   no.  funny, right?  i always talk about usually wanting to die, yet i'm too afraid to. you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. do you agree?   to an extent, yes.  ex., i perfectly loved jason when i had him and knew i'd found a diamond.  i still know that, but i feel i may love him even more than i did then. are you familiar with the ‘emo kid song’?   pisses me the fuck off. have you ever seen a coyote in real life?   i haven't. do you think it’s wrong to judge a girl on how many people she slept with?   it's wrong to judge her, yes, but is it wrong to disagree with her having slept with so many people?  no. have you ever snooped through bf/gf’s stuff?   no.  it's not my business. are you a good kisser?   well i mean j used to say a lot he loved kissing me, so i guess? do you think it’s wrong to kiss someone you don’t like?   ... why would you kiss someone you don't like??? do you like being kissed?   if i truly like you, yes. do you have a favorite photo of the person you love/like?   i do.  it's a picture from our second prom shoot where mom got a close-up on his face unknowingly, and he's just smiling at me.  i'd share it, but i'm honestly not comfortable sharing a picture of JUST him without his permission. where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed?   i'd assume jason's bed. you’re a week late for your period, there’s a chance you could be pregnant?   nope, unless i'm the virgin mary. have you ever kissed someone and hated it?   nope. are you taller than your mom?   no.  we're pretty much the same height. if you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?   so i wouldn't feel guilty?  then yes. what is your first thought when you receive a message on tumblr, are you excited for the idea of someone from potentially the other side of the world wanting to talk to you or fearful that someone will criticize you?   ha ha honestly i prepare to be yelled at. if it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease, and bigotry, would you spend the rest of eternity in hell?   honestly... no.  maybe it's selfish, but i do care about where i'm going when i die. the beatles or the rolling stones?   the stones.  i'm not a beatles fan. have you ever laid down in the middle of the street?   that's some "the notebook" shit right there.  but no, i haven't. did your parents force you to go to church?   yes. what’s your biggest fear?   jason never coming back. would you date someone 10 years older than you?   i doubt it. do you wear glasses?   i do. new song you recently found that you've really been digging?   "the mephistopheles of los angeles" by marilyn manson!!! \m/  i'm surprised i haven't heard it before. have you ever been in prison?   no. do you like shakespeare?   what i've read, i certainly enjoy. do you ever want to own a house?   absolutely.  i wanna be able to have a garden, trees, etc... have you ever aspired to start your own business?   i wanna be a freelance photographer, so... do you bite your nails?   occasionally.  need to stop. have you ever eaten at wendy’s?   yum, yes. what song makes you think about the person you love most?   "the mortician's daughter" and "saviour" by black veil brides, "easy to love you" and "all or nothing" by theory of a deadman are the most notable. do zoos bother you?   sometimes...  really depends on the animal in the zoo and if they're healthy. do you like visiting the beach?   i mean, sure.  it's something to do.  i hate sand in-between my toes, though. are you on any medication?   a good number.  don't know if they're helping or making shit worse, honestly. how old is your oldest friend?   that i consider a legitimate friend?  he's 30. have you ever been drunk?   i've been a bit drunk, yes. do you find facial hair attractive?   depends. what about body hair?   excessive body hair can honestly be gross, but at the same time, some people just can't help it. have you ever been in a polygamous relationship?   and i never will be because loyalty's a thing. do you like art?   ye! ;v; do you like being a tourist?   no opinion.  i've never really "been" anywhere. is there anyone who has strong feelings for you?   he says he does, but i don't believe that he only feels like that towards me. do you have a special stuffed animal?   many! ;v;  the one that is currently most important to me is my stuffed meerkat rebel; jason got it for me on my first birthday we were together.  brownie, my stuffed moose from ohio, is also very important.  i don't know why i got attached to it, but i always used to sleep with it.  i also have a very long stuffed snake that my grandma gave me. would you like to be rich?   it sure would solve MANY problems! what were you for halloween last year?   i wasn't anything because we had no money for costumes. :/  i wanted to be a steampunk toothfairy. do your siblings text you?   only if they need to know something related to me. have you ever taken medicine that wasn’t prescribed to you?   yup. who is your ex dating/talking to?   ashley.  that's all i'm going to say on this matter. are you donating your organs?   yeah.  not like i'll need them when i'm dead. do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?   side, always. how many of the harry potter books have you read?   none. are you sure of your sexuality?   yes. have you broken a bone?   no, but i've had a fracture in my wrist was the last person you kissed physically attractive?   yes, he is. do you prefer to say ‘haha” or “lol?”   "ha ha" do you know anyone that owns horses?   yes. how many stories does your house have?   just one. do you get angry often? when was the last time you got into a fight with someone? is this something that you do regularly?   i don't get angry often, no.  however, i've felt underlying anger since jason left that hasn't fled yet.  the last time i had a fight with someone was what, maybe two days ago, with my best friend colleen.  we're not talking currently, but i'm thinking of messaging her later to just end this stupid fucking fight. do plague doctors scare you?   nah man, they're SUPER cool!!!  i'm thinking of getting a tattoo of one, 'cuz i found an awesome one, but it's very low on my priority list. do you have a favorite winter outfit? what about a favorite summer outfit? does it get really cold where you live?   i have no fave outfits, no.  it can get pretty damn cold here. have you ever wanted to be homeschooled? if so, why? if not, why not? do you know anyone who is, or have you ever been homeschooled yourself?   i thought about it because school was stressing me out so much, but i was briefly home-bound instead.  i don't know anyone who's been homeschooled, i think. what is your favorite place to shop?   online store called rebel's market.  i also really like hottopic. have you ever woken up to a good morning letter beside you?
   no, but that'd be soooo romantic *-* do you like bbq sauce?   no, i don't. do you pray before every meal?   no. have you ever seen a tadpole?   plenty of times.  there was actually one time a huge number of frogs apparently laid eggs aaaaaall through the ditch in-between the field near my house,  well, the ditch was going to dry out way before the tadpole eggs hatched and grew to adults, so, my sister, friend, and i got a really big bucket, filled it with water, and got as many of the eggs we could and put them into the bucket.  lemme tell you: tadpole eggs feel GROSS.  we filled the bucket to the brim and nearly broke our backs carrying it back to my house, where we filled the kiddy pool with water and put all the eggs in there.  the eggs hatched, and we got to watch them grow into little frogs. (:  they climbed out of the pool once they were adults.  it felt great knowing we saved well around a thousand frogs. how slowly or quickly would you say you eat?   i eat VERY quickly apparently, and i don't even notice. do you think boys look good in skinny jeans?   ye. do you think it’s okay for boys to dress like girls and vice versa?   of course it is. what went wrong in your previous relationship?   honest to god opinion, nothing went wrong.  jason just didn't want to deal with a depressed shit anymore. is drinking and smoking a dating deal-breaker for you?   smoking anything is, and i wouldn't accept heavy drinking. does your ex-boyfriend/-girlfriend’s new romantic interest know about the things you two did together?   honestly?  hope she does.  fucking bet we had more chemistry than she ever will with him. do you ever tell your current boyfriend or girlfriend about the things that you did with an ex-partner?   i don't have a boyfriend, but if i was and he asked, sure, i'd tell him. have you ever had someone drag his or her nails down your back?   yes.  so long you're not like ripping my flesh, it's fine. do you think of ex-partners while you’re in your current relationship? how about while you’re being intimate?   i'm absolutely positive i would if i was even in a relationship.  i'm not sorry that i'm in love with someone, even if he doesn't love me back. do you know anyone who has won any money playing the lottery?   nope. what is your boyfriend’s favorite video game?   i don't have a boyfriend, but my ex's favorite game is castlevania: symphony of the night. do you take offense when people use the words “gay” or “retarded”?   "retarded" honestly offends me, yes. do you actually use the camera on your phone?   no.  the camera on my phone sucks. do you think there’s a specific age when it’s no longer acceptable to be living with your parents?   it really depends on certain circumstances/how eligible you are to survive alone. do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child?   obviously? assuming you had sufficient funds, would you be capable of living alone, paying bills and looking after yourself properly?   no, i wouldn't. what would you say your favorite farm animal is?   piggies!