#idk where i'm going with this. i only think abt this cover like once every 2-3 months

[teknicaldifficulties]

it's been a YEAR since fob we didn't start the fire?????

[randompajamaalt]

I'm deeply invested in your Gerry headcannons

Care to share some more? :D

absolutely!! I love gerry so much I have so many hcs for him so I hope you don’t mind if I just.. pour em all out for a second

He makes friends with crows as much as he physically can. Whenever he spots crows in the wild he feeds them and makes friends with them so he’s constantly getting new shiny little trinkets. If he has stuff that he doesn’t want anymore he’ll give it to his favorite crow of the week. And yes, he’s named them, and yes, he can tell all of them apart.

he has heterochromia!  one of his eyes is green and the other is a mix of blue and brown. He wears dark brown contacts to cover them because he was kind of convinced they were a weird ugly flaw from a young age and never really got over it. He used to have two blue eyes, only the right one having brown in it, but over time his right eye(the pure blue one) slowly got greener as his connection to The Eye got stronger. It was almost fully green by the time he got his tattoos.

he would totally have fun in the sky vast

his familial trauma from being abused probably got him into the habit of walking silently, and that only got better with the whole hunt thing, so now he can creep up on anyone without making a single sound. He usually does it on accident

Whenever he’s in a particularly bad situation or a super bad mood the temperature around him goes down. and like- gets chilly. It’s not usually noticeable but sometimes it’s super strong 

SO YOU KNOW HOW HE HAS EYE TATTOOS ON EVERY JOINT. I personally hc they’re all around the same size- kind of small-ish. And if they’re on every joint that means they’re on his knuckles, wrists, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, toes, and UP HIS ENTIRE SPINE. UP TO WHERE HIS HAIR ENDS. but hear me out- the jaw is also a joint. WHAT IF. He had eyes on both sides of his jaw.

He pronounces “Chamomile” like “Sha-momma-lay” and nobody has ever bothered to correct him. Gertrude caught it on tape once

I don’t actually think he has a whole lot of piercings. Maybe his earlobes but tbh not much else? Idk why but he just seems like he would prefer tattoos and then just wear fake piercings everywhere else. Like he just doesn’t see the point of going through the whole process of trying to keep the piercings clean when he can just wear cool fake ones.

He likes drawing all over himself. One time Gertrude yelled at him abt it because he was using sharpie.

He loves stickers!! Sometimes he sticks them on books, sometimes on himself, and sometimes just anywhere he can reach. Whenever he passes a craft store he can’t help but buy a bunch of stickers.

He knows a tiny bit about sewing because of all the times he’s had to repair his clothes and sew on patches. He did make a skirt by himself once! Maybe I’ll draw it sometime :D

and yeah that’s all I can think of for now! that uh. was longer than expected. But it was fun!! Tysm for asking I love sharing my hcs :D

[woopeee]

like. like. majormoon yaoi anon once again hiiii

but like. like. where do i even start, ive explained this ship so many times to sm ppl. its hard to keep track of where the start of the explanation would be-

Imma start by covering up Life Series concepts here... will get into Empires and a funny AU i have later on... NOTE: i JUST realized seasons go autumn -> winter not winter -> autumn, so lets just imagine either its the other way around for some reason or maybe the games happen across different years or the watchers use time shenanigans n stuff IDK!!

Last Life: cottagecore queers. they started as friends, sure, they're best friends, but best friends who kiss, hold hands, cuddle together, cook together, stick to eachother like glue istg. AND I REPEAT !! KISS!! SURE SMALL PECKS BUT THATS NOT VERY FRIEND LIKE !! ive read many queerplatonic galaxy duo fanfics, but i think they're just romantically crushing on eachother and w time their relationship quickly escalated and neither of them wants to ask the big "what are we?" question. (plus, I hc every season of the series happens in a different season of the year, maybe in different years?? idk cause i didnt count for 3rd life but i dont think it would count as spring... ANYWAYS Last Life happens in Summer, for angst purposes)

Double Life: I don't wanna talk too much abt their relationship in DL cus it makes me so mentally ill, reminds me of sum personal lore in my life I wont get into, but I still love em. I hc soulmates have some shared features w their soulmates, different for everyone, like these two have the ends of their hair the color of the others hair. after the "divorce" Pearl tried to cut off that teal part but the ends just gew upwards, like the teal part just appeared in his new ends when moon cut off the old ones, so at the end he just used red dye to dye em red. Also I feel like they lowkey miss eachother even if both are too stubborn to talk to eachother and at least try to fix things. (winter. winter freezes. often killing all that in summer grew green)

Limited Life: Oh hoh ho... the drama is back but the toxicity is gone. frienemies, exes, a bit petty still but can joke about it for a lil, have forgiven eachother but at times still feel resentment. they live very far away, yet when they interact in person, if things are 1o1 and there isnt any of their allies nearby, gosh can the tension be cut with a knife. not only tension in the way or anger, but sometimes just being awkward around eachother, sometimes homosexual tension, sometimes homoerotic tension- (half joke, i wont talk abt nsfw stuff but theyre adults). They stare at eachother from across the room thinking either "i wanna punch you so bad" or "i would so go and kiss you right here right now", or both. However theyre still fairly friendly, its not the same as *Our Last Summer*, since they'll maybe pull petty pranks on eachother, specially the Nosy Neighbors on Mean Gills, with Pearl mostly having Scott's ever so slightly upset reaction, if even to get a groan or frown from him, tho he doesnt hate her anymore, its not like winter, thats in the past. Autumn comes and makes leafs fall... it gets rid of the dead waste of what winter killed, preparing for Spring...

Secret Life: ... for a new beginning. Spring comes along, a new, more lighthearted game at the start. After going through so much stuff together, everything they've overcome, "That's in the past" "It was a one time thing?" "Yeah, yeah" "Well, I'm glad we agree... glad we can move past that". And they start again, blank page, althrough clearly stained by past moments, they can look back at them fondly and joke around about it without hard feelings. Not only that, but they finally make up their minds, both of them get their shit together and can finally label their relationship, make it official... tho whats a game about secrets without some secrets of their own? So at first, with a bit of fear of what their allies would say, but also just in a way to keep privacy and get a laugh out of others confusions, they meet up in secret. Secret meetings at night or when their allies are out, whispering to eachother and giving eachother accomplice looks, finding hiden spots to sit down and talk. They're plenty suspicious in plain sight, but with all the reasons there could be for them to be hiding something? Maybe theyre up to no good! Maybe they're plotting destruction! Maybe its got to do with their tasks! Yeah, it drives the yellows mad in particular, trying to guess their tasks just to be told it couldnt be further from correct or that they already complited theirs. Now some participants are a bit oblivious, but others can put 2 and 2 together pretty quickly... they'd keep their mouths shut tho, cause seeing the others lose their mind trying to uncover their "plans" is quite the funny sight. Maybe some would get a push like a little knudge from Cleo "They're dating, Bdubs" "... OHHHH, SO THATS WHY". The Roomies all know for sure, Impulse suspects, to Gem and the Mounders it never crossed their minds, unsure about others tbh but thats what I know for sure. But yeah! Maybe at first they'd have a "Bad Idea" (from Waitress) moment, tho that song also could fit an ""afair"" in LimL from what ive talked with a friend, but yeah. They're destined to die anyways, since the finale means only one can win, and that winner is neither of them, but they'll meet in the next game. Tilly next time. Or, Tilly death does them part...

... except not, cause not even death can do that, cause they are able to find eachother in every single universe, no matter the circumstances, even if their situation isnt ideal in some, they're always together, in one way or another. MajorMoon yaoi anon dropping the anon. Shameless Scottearl posting today!! Let's go rom Galaxy Duo Truthers!!!

Youre getting your own tag /silly

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

When You Weren’t Looking — pt 10/?

PROFESSOR!OBI-WAN KENOBI x READER

PART 9

description: obi-wan takes you on your first official date <3

warnings: language, just fluff :,)

a/n: ok idk what the FUCK this is and why it took me so long, like it’s not even that great ok but here it is and it’s my first song fic hehehe. also im pretty sure y’all can guess who i’m talking abt at the very end…

words: 2,433

"Professor Kenobi,"

"Yes, my—"Obi-Wan quickly cleared his throat, eyes darting around to see if any other students were lingering after class that were close enough to have heard his near slip-up, "y/n?"

"I just wanted to say that I thought your lecture was very exciting today," it wasn't just an excuse to come over to his desk and flirt; you actually meant it.

"Ah, thank you very much. If you want, there are a couple of books in my office you can borrow on the subject," he looked around one more time. When he found that the lecture hall was now completely void of anyone else but the two of you, he was able to let his guard down, his shoulders visibly relaxing and his eyes softening, his admiration for you now able to clearly shine through his irises. He continued, voice less hushed this time, "But if you're not just making up excuses to come up here… " he teased.

"Are you calling me a liar?" you raised a brow, a smirk playing on your lips.

"I would never," he leaned in ever so slightly, naturally drawn to you. "and since you aren't a liar, and you truly are interested, there are some movies based on the book. If you wanted to watch them together…"

"ooh, yes! that sounds fun," you straightened up in excitement. Obi-Wan matched your energy, getting a high every time he made you giddy or happy, the highest accomplishment he could ever achieve, in his opinion.

"I'd say tonight, but there's someplace I was already thinking of taking you,"

"Really?"

"Really,"

"An actual…"

"Yes, a—" he cleared his throat, "y/n l/n, I would like to take you on a date. I apologize. I think it's been long overdue. Would you allow me?"

You tapped your chin, pretending to debate your answer before giving your real one, "yes!" he came around to you and placed his hands on your arms, running them up and down before kissing you. It was quick and sweet, as all your out-of-office interactions were. The idea of being able to even look at each other for longer than a second outside of those four walls had you giddy. "Can I know where we're going?"

"Absolutely not," he tapped your nose before gathering his briefcase and other things.

somewhere where I don't have to hide from everyone that you're mine

And so here you were, scanning your floor, trying to find a single outfit you didn't hate right now. Every piece of clothing you own had been ripped from your closet and added to the spread of fabric covering every inch of carpet in your room.

Obi, you're cute, but am i dressing for dinner or night swimming dammit.

The plethora of clothes beneath seemed almost offended. Eventually, you decided that, whatever it was, you were gonna play up everything you had with or without clothes. Once you pulled on an outfit you'd worn before, one that skimmed your hips just right and offered just enough skin to tease.

wow, i'm evil.

Your loth cat, Artoo, watched the rest of your rather hectic process of picking out shoes, jewelry, everything. You felt an uncalled-for amount of judgment coming from the animal, so you shooed him away. Even his wordless reaction made you freak out even more. The only thing that calmed your anxiety in the slightest was when you opened the door to be met by a suddenly speechless Obi-Wan.

It seemed that your outfit worked well, as he swallowed thickly at seeing you. It wasn't just your outfit, though; no, it was something else. After all, he had seen you in this skirt and these shoes before, he'd been under the skirt for fucks sake, and as much as you'd like it to be, it definitely wasn't the overpriced exfoliator and body oil you used. Your body looked like a dream, but the look in his eyes when he saw only your face said something you couldn't decipher, and neither could he.

He had finally found the muse, the answer to all the poetry he had written in his journal, and yet he couldn't find a single word in those pages to describe the real thing.

"Obi," You waved a hand in front of his face.

"Sorry. You're just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, my dear one,"

"You don't have to say say that," you blushed.

"No, if I'm taking you out, the one condition is you have to accept the compliment,"

"Whatever," just rolled your eyes with a smile until he tilted your chin up with his hand to kiss you sweetly.

"Ah, I've never met anyone so sweet," he said with playful sarcasm. Your conversation continued into the car, a perfect blend of teasing and talking that was so natural between you two. While you wouldn't mind talking about everything and nothing for hours, Obi paused to tell you to close your eyes. He said it a little too urgently to where you clapped your hand over your face with a slap and a little screech, genuinely alarmed by his sudden request.

"Oh, uh, shit, darling, not that hard," he sounded concerned, but you knew he was smiling without even having to look.

"You can just yell directions out like that!" you huffed, "but I did listen pretty well,"

"You always do, y/n," If the lowered tone of his voice wasn't enough, the hand now placed on your thigh gave away his double-meaning. "and I have another one for you," he spoke as you felt the car come to a halt and the sudden silence of the engine turning off. "keep your hands over your eyes,"

"Wow, Obi, this is kinky," you smirked. You knew that wasn't what was going on, but you couldn't help but explore the idea of being blindfolded with him in other ways.

"We can discuss that later," he helped you step out, holding your elbow to steady you when you wobbled out, still blind. Much to your relief, he gave you permission to open your eyes as soon as you were upright beside the car.

Everything glittered, the hand-crafted jewelry that filled tables, the string of lights hung from the trees to light the way and your eyes in complete wonder. It was an art fair, something you mentioned a while ago, which he evidently remembered. It was slowly becoming clear that he took every word you said and tucked it away in his heart for later. A fluttering feeling built up in your stomach from knowing that this man adored you just as much as you adored him. You squeezed Obi-Wan's hand, a little giddy to be there and with him. You looked up at him and hesitated.

"Well, go on!" he told you. You smiled brightly and pulled him with you towards the first vendor. He didn't expect to have to catch up to your stride, but you couldn't be stationary for long, wanting to see every painting and creation that these people had to offer. While he certainly appreciated the myriad of, well, everything. From large life-like oil paintings to bongs shaped like a juice box, he was content to watch your reactions. Your face changed every two seconds based on whatever you were looking at. Your eyes went wide at some of the art, and you would squint to see the details of the others.

adorable.

You didn't forget about him, of course, pointing out things you thought he would like.

"Obi isn't this cool?" you pointed at a figure carved out of krayt dragon teeth like one he had in his office. "Oh woah, look at these book covers!" they were rebound books, many of which were classics that he was very fond of.

He eventually led you around for a bit when he found something he really liked. He never let go of your hand the whole time unless you wanted to handle a trinket or try something on. One thing in particular that caught your eye was a small locket with a gem encrusted on the front.

"It's a corusca. They're very rare, only mined in a few places like Yavin Prime," the vendor told you when she saw how you were staring.

"All the way from Yavin Prime? Wow," you responded, picking it up to feel the chain in your hand.

"Yeah," she smiled, "My brother makes a living off mining and trading them,"

You looked up at her, the delicate necklace dangling from your hands. The way the gem was faceted and caught the light and the metal detailing was so well done— the girl selling it had talent.

"How much is it?"

You tried not to let your reaction show when you heard the price. It wasn't exactly within your price range.

You're pretty, but I'm college poor.

Your face fell just a bit, then you remembered where you were and who you were with, and all your troubles and thoughts fell away because you didn't need anything other than Obi-Wan's hand in yours, warm, a little rough, and large— perfect for yours. You moved on to the next stall after thanking the girl first, of course. While sifting through a small bowl of rings, Obi let you know he was going to the bathroom with a few quiet words in your ear. With a nod from you and a kiss to send him on his way, he walked around the corner.

Once you were satisfied with your purchases, some graphic tees and a tiny loth cat shaped candle for you, podracing posters as his gift to anakin, a variety of teas, and a ring for Obi-Wan (which he secretly only bought because you had made an offhand comment one time that he looked hot wearing them) you walked back to the car leisurely. You were in no hurry to leave the sanctuary found the arm he had circled around your shoulder as you leaned against the soft sweater that covered his chest.

As always, the moment was destined to end, but this time it led to another; one different than the ritual of packing up your things and closing the office door behind you.

Another sound followed the rumble of the engine turning as Obi-Wan turned the key, one much sweeter. The song already playing on your phone had connected to the car's speaker.

“My love must be a kind of blind love. I can't see anyone but you,”

The words filled the vehicle's interior, and the echoing style of the lyrics playing made the experience ethereal. This song seemed to be written for this specific moment, here and now.

"Are the stars out tonight? I don't know if it's cloudy or bright,"

It was the soundtrack to the look being shared by two lovers whose eyes closed when they leaned into each other to share a kiss. Even then, they could see each other, the true versions of each other that only they would ever experience.

"I only have eyes for you, dear…"

The growing familiarity between the feel of the other's mouths mingled with theirs made the taste of a kiss even sweeter. There was no space between their lips, physically or emotionally. And yet it wasn't enough. The car console was the only thing between the rest of their bodies, and Obi-Wan Kenobi couldn't bear it.

"Darling, would you step out of the car, please?" He whispered, knowing that his request sounded a little weird. You gave him a confused and borderline offended look. Did he just ask you to get out of the car?

"Please?" He asked once more, straining just a bit to place small kisses along your neck to let you know his intentions were still sweet as ever. You let your eyes flutter closed with pleasure and followed his instructions just after.

Once both of you stepped out and walked around the car, meeting in the front. After a moment, the car lights turned off, but the music played on, the moon now your only source of light. The silvery glow caressed the features that each of you so loved in the other. That was your world now. Nothing but the moon and each other existed.

"The moon may be high, but I can't see a thing in the sky,"

His hand slid around your waist to rest on your lower back. It took your breath away. Even though it was something he had done many times before, this moment was different. It was so... intimate. An arm hung loosely around his neck while the other was extended to lace your fingers with his as you slowly began to sway.

"I only have eyes for you…"

The way the whole world slowed just for the two of you, nothing but the music playing from the car and the night air surrounding you. There was a liberating lack of fear that someone would walk in on you or find out about your little secret, and you intended to savor it.

"You are here, and so am I. Maybe millions of people go by, but they all disappear from view,"

The two of you took your time bestowing your affections on the other. Your hands slowly roamed, smoothing out the fabric of his shirt beneath your palm, feeling the planes of his body. He preferred to trace up and down your spine with the tips of his fingers, giving you chills. He stopped to kiss the crown of your hair before letting his forehead drop so it pressed to yours. You smiled as you felt the vibrations in the air from his low humming. You joined him, but not for long before the two of you began to laugh a little at yourselves. When the noise became once again limited to the music playing, he looked into your eyes, and you could see something change, something good. Before you could think about it, his hands were cupping your face, and his lips were brushing against yours. It only took a moment for you to melt into him completely. It wasn't hard when you were with someone so willing to hold all of you when you did so. Your lips moved in rhythm, enjoying the sweet taste and feeling of being so connected.

"And I only have eyes for you,"

Nothing could ever break the way you two were drawn together, depending on each other to keep yourselves in orbit…not even old lovers.

PART 11

tags:

@bakerstreethound @heyhawtdawgs @mcbenson25-blog @heyitsaloy @stanny-uwu @venus-armote @ohworm-writes @songoficecreamandfireworks @tairbutstronger @thedarthpancakes @marierg @tinkerbellthebard @laughingstarryeyes @zanzann

[3rensgf]

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

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In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

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[florenceisfalling]

Idk bestie I'm going cemetery hopping this halloween to work on my spirit communication so I think the Why could just be 'humans forgot what fear was and are stupid' <3

ooh good for you! thats very true also

but there is also the question of how the fuck did they Get In. assuming this is a Big Spooky asylum etc etc there is a certain level of security involved, bc aside from 2 particular characters (which i will discuss later) no one really gets out of the building.

there are options! for example

you can get in, you just can't get out - you can get through a particular door pretty easily, but it doesnt go both ways. still begs the question of Do You Are Have Stupid? that we are asking every horror protag ever. and also why the authorities have done nothing about all the dead people!

the nurses and doctors are still alive, they just suck - you roll up to the place as youre being involuntarily committed. it seems like a professional, albeit unkind and uncomfortable situation. it becomes increasingly apparent that they are definitely doing some unethical shit, but theyre gaslighting you about it. you wonder if maybe you really Are just crazy and maybe the part of the building they tell you not to go near is actually just under construction or something, until some dude fuckin crawls through your vents and tells you to "follow me for a way out :)" thus taking you to the section of the facilities where they apparently just locked up and closed off anyone they could not deal with as a conspiracy cover up. fun, but reduces how much physical space i have to work with here.

the people taking you just don't have a clue - whoever is transferring you came on a week-long trip by car for some reason, and the asylum was totally just The Normal Amount Of Unethical when they left the place, but when you show up with them theyre immediately slaughtered and you get the "follow me :)" treatment which reveals that over the past seven days it has descended into a complete nightmare. only works once, though, doesnt account for a Bunch Of Visitors over time.

this is the apocalypse and you saw the asylum and thought it was just a good building to stay - combined with 1, not bad actually. but what kind of apocalypse?

you Are the authorities and thus the one investigating the dead bodies n shit - assumes you guys have actual responsibility which would never happen. story is better if you dont have a gun on you too

the authorities just dont give a shit abt the dead people etc etc and you are actually just there bc google maps fucked up your directions on the way to a halloween haunt so you instead accidentally ended up at a Real life or death situation: funniest option