#idk when you sent it but apparently submissions don’t show up in my notifications!!

[pa-panda-heroes]

currently thinking about Hawks personally. We see that when he's in public or when he's around people in general, he's always on that charismatic cool guy persona we all love. but when he's in missions we see him super serious and cauculist. that left me wondering if his charismatic self is just a facade. I think that due the things the Hero Comission putted him through he managed to hide his true self in missions. I also think that he is a actually smug little piece of sunshine type of guy in general, but when he's with people he's really close to, he manages to show the nuances of these both sides of his personality. What do you think?

Hello dear :> Hawks is a precious baby boy, must protect-

I would have to agree with that!!

I will say that I feel like fandom seems to take the goofy guy Hawks part a little too far sometimes. We’ve seen hawks goofing off and getting on Endeavor’s nerves for example, but we’ve also seen Hawks calculating his and his opponent’s every move and taking what he does very seriously. And we’ve also seen what the Hero Commission has done to him overall.

I think part of his austerity and seriousness comes from having that hammered into his head purposefully by the Hero Commission. If you’ve played NieR:Automata, you’ve heard the phrase “emotions are prohibited,” which is a concept I think the HC has taken on. Emotions can lead people to take drastic decisions, toss aside objectivity, and thus make mistakes. If Hawks doesn’t exhibit emotion or let his emotions control him, he is more likely to see “the bigger picture” of his work and to succeed in whatever task they give him, and less likely to see individual problems and get distracted by those individual problems. Think: Deku. When he saw Shouto’s turmoil and trauma, he didn’t reach for changing hero society and its children as whole; instead, he reached out to Shouto to help him as an individual, because Deku is a very emotional character and hero who wants to help everyone. Does this make sense? ^^;; Obviously, I do think Hawks takes his work seriously even despite the HC’s meddling!

Anyway, i feel like Hawks real personality is gentle, sweet, and goofy when he wants to be (or when he’s trying to hide his trauma/past/etc. like some abuse survivors do), but he’s not going to show it much because I doubt his true personality is really what the HC has envisioned as their “trophy hero.” Since he was a wee child he’s been conditioned and taught certain ways to do probably everything from breathing to addressing the public in an interview. When it comes to someone he’s really close with and really cares about, I definitely agree with you. But it’s very difficult for him to really become close with people imo, because I feel like the HC would control every aspect of his life, especially social, because they want his rep and public image to be squeaky clean (he can’t be getting involved in scandals and whatnot, for example). And he may push people away also, be it because of his job as a hero or just. Typical Trauma Things.

But yes, I definitely agree with you. We see Hawks at either 0% or 100%, and I think his personality is just a mix of both!

[alteabellerose]

”*Putting this under a submit since this might be long and I don’t wanna split it up in several asks that Tumblr might eat. Sorry for any inconvenience*”

”I have some thoughts about the latest chapter. I was not expecting the feels to hit me like they did. But I actually understand why MC did what she did. How she did it was harsh and unnecessary, but I do understand the point behind it.”

-This is a fairly long submission but it’s also worth a read bc anon makes a lot of good points about this whole mess but I don’t want to clog your dashes with this super long post so I’m putting the submission and my response under a read more-

”Something I felt hasn’t been addressed a lot in the story is the fact that MC gave up her whole life to be with Altea. She literally left her own world behind to move to an alternate universe. For Altea. Someone who is willing to give up everything to be with you is a big deal and shows a huge amount of trust, especially in the messy situation they’re in with the Witch Queen and an approaching war. Then she learns that Altea, who probably felt like an anchor, has been lying about a lot of things. Even something as trivial as the fact that she’s two years younger than she said/implied she was. From personal experience, I can say that that plants a seed of doubt that is REALLY hard to get over. Suddenly you’re questioning everything and you feel all alone. Even if you aren’t.”

”Even more so if, like MC, if she feels like she literally has no one to turn to. She didn’t just move to a different city, a different state or even a different country, she literally moved into another universe where no one from her past is. Where she has no way to contact them. And we know that Chicago is where she feels safe since Altea told her to think of a safe place and they ended up there. In Chicago, she probably would called Sophie or her parents or anyone else in her life to confide in/vent. In the L&L world, that person would most likely be Altea, but this time she’s also the one right in the middle of a huge mess.”

”MC only spoke to Iseul because he sought her out. The guys had to bring it up because of MCs aggressive behavior during training, MC didn’t go to the courtyard with the intention of talking to them. In fact, the one MC ended up confiding in was Helena (which kinda makes me suspicious btw).”

”Then add the fact that Mireille didn’t make a good first impression by threatening MC. Or the fact that she shoves MC out of conversations by talking to Altea in a language she knows MC doesn’t understand. Or hijacking the day she and Altea should’ve had together. Or the way she seems to have a thing for Altea or at the very least she seems to disapprove of MC and Altea’s relationship. Then, finally, saving Altea right in front of her.”

”I feel like MC probably had Helena’s words echoing in her head about people always being tempted by those who have been with them since the beginning. How Mireille will know Altea’s heart and have memories MC can’t touch. It probably doesn’t help that every other conversations Mireille and Altea has is basically “hey, remember when….” which would make anyone feel left out. Then Altea says she wants Mireille to stay with them in the castle…”

”Basically MC is feeling insecure as all hell and the only who seems to get it is Helena.”

”Sidenote: Considering you literally pick between Altea and Helena and how this chapter ended, I just have to say: If this is the point where Helena’s route starts, I’m gonna be livid! I want a clean beginning, not MC running to Helena because she and Altea are having problems! Not here for breaking Altea’s heart for Helena!”

”Anyway, there’s a distinct lack of communication between everyone, which is turning this into a bigger issue than it should’ve been. MC’s insecurities are very flawed, but also very real. And from her POV, Altea doesn’t seem to want to understand. She feels like Altea doesn’t get it, but really how can Altea get it when MC doesn’t communicate her feelings. Its irrational, but doubts and insecurities will do that unfortunately. ”

”No one is innocent in all this. MC should’ve communicated her feelings/thoughts to Altea. The necklace was an immature lashing out that’ll only cause more hurt. But Altea should been more upfront, should’ve considered how betrayed MC might feel given the trust she had shown Altea and communicated her thoughts instead if just announcing something like the fact that she wants Mireille to stay and expecting MC to be ok with it.”

”I feel like Iseul should take his own advice and tie both Altea and MC to Reiner’s chair until they actually talk to each other… They both have some apologizing to do. And, more importantly, they need to freaking TALK TO EACH OTHER. A real heart-to-heart where they both talk and they both listen.”

Okay so I’m gonna open by saying that I never saw a notification for this so idk how late I am at getting to it and I’m sorry if you sent this yesterday or this morning and I didn’t get to it earlier

But! Yeah honestly I think you’ve made nothing but good points here. I think literally every day about how hard it must be for MC to deal with the knowledge that she left literally everyone and everything she’s ever known behind, like sure she loves Altea and the guys are her friends but she left behind her best friend and who knows how much family all for Altea and this war with the witch queen when she could’ve easily gone back to her old life, not put herself in danger every single day, not left 25 years of her life behind. I wish we’d get more about that in the story, even if it was just in the form of comments from MC sometimes, like when she was talking to the witch queen about her memories of the garden her mother had, except wherein she’s talking to someone who will listen and care

I know that I’ve been making a fair few angry/hurt posts about this and generally siding with Altea, but I don’t want to make it seem like I think MC is completely at fault for things. I can’t say that I’ve been lied to on that scale, but I can say that I can relate to what Altea says about her parents and so I also understand why she would lie about that at the very least. I don’t mean that I approve of it, but I’m not exactly mad. I am, however, pretty much entirely on MC’s side in regards to the jealousy issue with Mireille, I’m secondhand jealous tbh, and it surprises me that Altea was oblivious enough to the issue to suggest that Mireille stay permanently. Definitely was not happy with her about that.

The main thing I’m upset with MC about isn’t necessarily leaving Altea, it’s leaving Altea when she barely addressed the jealousy issue with her. It’s not that I don’t understand MC’s reasoning. I had a similar problem in a relationship when I was 16 and I stewed for like, weeks, but instead of, interestingly enough, returning the necklace he’d given me and I had hardly taken off in the year and a half we were together in a symbolic breakup gesture, we talked it out and lo and behold, we stayed together for a while longer. MC walked off and GOD do I understand the “she saved you when I couldn’t comment” because I kind of have a protectiveness thing going on and christ that’d kill me, and Altea just says “I don’t hold a grudge against you for that, it was just chance” but like, I’d hold a grudge against myself for the rest of my life probably and now I’m rambling so anyway, Altea goes after her and asks what’s wrong you know, and MC is like “I’m jealous” and then hands her the charm???????? When they talked about her feelings for all of two minutes?????????????????????

I’m frustrated with the lack of communication happening, and from the perspective of someone outside the relationship of course it looks easy to solve so I’m trying to avoid judging too harshly but god if they would just talk to each other! I’m also frustrated because I’ve mentioned on this blog that I’ve played/am playing virtually every game I can get my hands on where you can play as a girl and romance a girl, and god only knows how many bi/pan/lesbian LIs I could rattle off right now, but Altea is my all-time favorite. So maybe I’ve been harsh on MC for doing what she did but god I just keep thinking about what my favorite girl ever must’ve been thinking when MC put the charm in her hands and it’s killing me and kind of clouding my fair judgment here

Like. I love MC and I support her always (usually) but TALK TO YOUR GIRL!!!!!!! I’m glad you said that the lack of communication is turning this into a bigger issue than it should’ve been because that’s by far my biggest problem with what’s going on. It just doesn’t need to be this bad.

Re: your sidenote god same. I was happy when Alain’s route started and I assumed they’d do the same thing with Helena, like have it be an AU type deal where MC just happened to get picked up by the generals instead of August and Iseul, but now I’m scared. I wouldn’t be able to play Helena’s route at first. I’d have to emotionally gear myself up for it, lmao. Helena getting a route is literally a dream come true for me, as in literally I wanted it so badly I dreamed about it once before they announced it, but I don’t know if it’s worth the expense of Altea’s heart. That’s a cheesy thing to say about fictional characters but it’d hurt her so much. I couldn’t do it.

Catch me crying like a baby when they have their inevitable heart-to-heart though, I’m a sucker for this stuff

Thanks for sending this in, I could talk forever about L&L lmao & I appreciate your apparently slightly more balanced perspective than my own