#idk what to tag bc it's more personal but idk maybe someone else had a similiar experience??

[technicalthinker]

before the full ep is out i just need to say that on a more personal note that sneak peek clip of buck on the date with tommy hits a bit too close to home as an adult bi who lately has been very nervous, on edge and self-critical about having my first real explicit gay flirt with someone within reach. the way he was all like 'im chill about this' in the least chill way possible. the defensive 'i'm not lying to anyone' while nobody said he was. do you get me.

[fastboatsmojito]

Nightmares - Scott Miller

| a/n; this isn’t technically for Moontober bc nightmares is day twenty seven and I have something different planned, but I woke up about an hour ago from a nightmare myself and this felt like the appropriate response tbh

| cw; just some angst and a little fluff, talk about nightmares, probably very self-indulgent idk what to tell you, one bed trope whoops, not super proofread as per the tags <3

| wc; 800

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

You woke up suddenly, out of breath and sweaty, sitting up and trying to will yourself into thinking about anything else.

“Jesus, you alright?” There was an unfamiliar softness in his voice, probably just from being woken up by your panicked breaths, though you jumped anyway, shaky as you looked over at him, uncharacteristic worry on his face as he sat up.

“Shit sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Just a bad dream.” You mumbled, words caught in the back of your throat proving difficult to come out, both exhausted from a restless sleep and energized from the pure panic and anxiety. That was always the worst part, being too scared of your own subconscious to go back to bed, involuntarily keeping yourself awake to stop yourself from drifting back into the personal hell you’d found yourself in before.

“Do you.. want to talk about it?” His voice still came out low, though the gruff from not having talked on purpose quite yet was peeking through. He wasn’t too sure how to comfort anyone at all - questioning himself more than you, you weren’t so used to it either; his words rather than his voice alone surprising you this time.

You shook your head, less responding to his question - though it sufficed, more trying to shake out the mental picture and get your brain to function correctly because it wasn’t difficult to understand nightmares but understanding why they happen didn’t seem to help much.

You had a sleep journal, you corrected them as best you could in your head after writing them down, you drank stress relieving tea and read articles and books on dream study and what it all means and it helps but it doesn’t fix the deepest, strangest anxieties that build up over time. The bizarre collection of everything you’ve thought about in the last month coming back to haunt you in a way that feels personal because it is.

Your brain knows the absolute worst combination of everything you’ve thought about or seen or heard, and if you eat too much fucking dairy or think about one specific thing for just the right amount of too much time, none of the rest of it matters anymore. And maybe you weren’t doing enough but maybe you just needed someone to tell you that it wasn’t real because hearing it from yourself so often was getting a little old and -

The tears were sudden - they usually are, soft and warm running down your face and you didn’t notice until a tear dropped down onto the hand still clutching your chest.

And then a warm hand was cautiously rubbing your back and your overly-worried coworker was trying to understand. Surprising himself again when a simply reassuring ‘you’re alright’ found its way out of his mouth, yawning quietly after and probably trying not to roll back over and fall asleep - bless him.

If it were just a few days ago you would’ve been shocked at the mere fact you were even in the same bed - a little mixup caused by none other than Javi, but sharing a room was excuse enough to get a little too comfortable for ‘professionalism’.

You gave up on the whole ‘oh I’ll just sleep on this tiny, uncomfortable chair for a few days until it’s sorted’ act days ago, diluting your dignity and climbing into bed with your similarly less than enthusiastic coworker who gave up on that shtick after the first night.

He wanted to go back to sleep - he really did, his eyes were practically closing themselves. But he surely couldn’t sleep next to someone actively crying and though he could be mean and - more accurately; a dick, he wasn’t completely emotionless. In fact he found himself scared that you were hurt or something was wrong and he had no way of fixing it when he woke up to your rushed breaths next to him. He still wasn’t sure he could really do anything, he didn’t tend to have dreams very much at all let alone bad ones.

There was no protocol to go over in his head about comforting a coworker-turned-roommate after a nightmare. He couldn’t exactly control your brain for you, though after a second thought he would if it’d help more than the apprehensive hand on your back.

Once you’d calmed yourself down enough and wiped the slowest string of tears from your cheeks you turned to look at Scott with something akin to a smile in the darkness.

Hoping that it made up for the lack of spoken gratitude that was clouded up in the panic in your head for the quiet comfort he wasn’t really looking to be thanked for anyway.

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

[persistentplums]

i love love your venture bros posts. youre really attentive to the vibes

a character dynamic i think was underexplored but had potential was billy and gary. what do you make of it?

Omg thank you so so much!! I’m really glad you think so! my post are mostly me spitballing hoping I’m getting the vibes right!

I actually made a post about this here! I should tag my posts tbh but I always got more thoughts I just think that post is a better summary of my thoughts. But here’s some more it’s VERY long:

They agree on most things except for the core idea of their livelihood. Which is wild because out of many characters I think Billy and Gary get along VERY well. They speak the same language and love the “game”. (I call it a game but the entire cape business) I don’t think they agree though on everything outside of nerd stuff.

I have this thought in my head maybe it’s a scale or a graph or something but it’s basically Believers, Nonbelievers, middlemen when it comes to this hero stuff and Gary and Billy are definitely Believers. But I think after Gary whole journey as a henchman, now a second/arch himself I think the idea of what makes something “Heroic” very firm in scale for him vs Billy who’s still sorta new at the whole thing but flexible.

I hope this makes sense but despite appearances Gary is rigid and Billy is flexible. I think while the morpho arc was sick (def loved the entire plot unfolding) Gary definitely had a hard time being on a grey area. He is either a hero (Sphinx!) or an arch. He feels haunted by killing all his fellow arches. He’s loyal af but doesn’t like the middle ground (his relationship with shelia, being a hit man, even 21 death you can say)

Billy is “flexible” in that sense that good is no small or big act. I’m forgetting the episode but the one where they fight Cloud over the ball, Monstroso surgery, especially Pete White as a person. Billy like superman genuinely would do good, it’s an oath it doesn’t matter to who he would. That comic run where Lex Luther is dying and gets superman to help him find a cure is VERY Billy. To Billy he is so firm to that one thing (two technically, hippocratic oath?whatever ykwim) it makes him apply it to literally everyone regardless of where he is. While Gary is very set on the us vs them side, that’s why he made such a good henchman leader.

I think when they interact it’s that trope of people in a mineshaft on their carts having a great time then an abrupt turn separating them, then they meet up again. Which I think deeply defines both characters despite being incredibly similar.

If I was summoned to a universe where I was told by Doc and Jackson that I could write a VB season but only when Billy and Gary interact aside from writing a Bromance for the ages that would get avid 21/24 fans mad at me (I think Gary and Billy would become like really REALLY into each other big “oh wow how come we never hanged out before?” “Idk!” Vibes) i would like to write them fighting a little because I think their small disagreements would be very telling about who they are as characters because they are the most genuine fan part of either side.

Gary is for every person who LOVES a hater ass villain (I cheered when green goblin killed aunt May in NWH I think Gary would, but still have issues with NWH ik I did anyways!) and Billy is for someone who LOVES a good wins no matter what (voltron, power rangers, he-man etc)

To me it’s not how Billy and Gary agree that’s interesting (big 2 nerds just in a mind meld moment, they’re also too similar ik why they were written to NEVER interact now, too alike) it’s when they don’t that is fun and I think it would happen the most at their dnd nights and when they watch shows together. Which pisses off everyone else (Malcom, shelia, white) bc they can’t hear anything as an argument is happening.

Also Billy wins most of the trivia stuff they do because he’s a bit older than Gary, this is Billy rodeo. I think Gary having someone as a friend who gets him is good for him honestly, he’s a third? Sorta? To his bosses/not boss anymore and I think he needs friends that he can really nerd out with.

Other fun things they do:

Hang out at each other places so often others remember the dates they see each other due to arching schedules

Follow each other blogs/have a podcast (movies, tv, and shows of influence throughout the ages guest star Pete white is on for music. Malcom calls in also surprisingly about music) either in podcast format or blog format doesn’t matter which but they work on it together

Have a show they follow together/watch together

Try to get Dean and Hank into stuff not intentionally their energy is infectious

ESPN announcers when on the field (when it’s not about them they’re doing commentary on the arch/protag tactics or at least commentary about Rusty and Malcom)

Wave/greet each other when they aren’t “on” in an arch or enjoy it too much when they’re “on”

Small acts of arching did happen between them. Cloud felt cheated on, Pete got freaked out, Billy and Gary settled on being friends instead. Malcolm thought it was Billy flirting with Gary, (confused but that’s his boy! Who wouldn’t flirt with Gary!) and Rusty thought Billy was going through a rough patch with White again but this time he really lost Billy (Awkward 1on1 where Rusty talks about cherishing and appreciating people while White gets so freaked out he runs to Billy)

They had a vibe, I feel like they would’ve hooked up or something once maybe bc I’m gay but I want to believe that. But in general they got a vibe together!

That’s all I got for now, if you read all this again thank you for your ask and I’m gonna tag all my VB thoughts once I think of a good tag!

[pixelkip]

Curiosities of Lotus Asia ch. 35 has an Aibo in it and I'm gonna be a nerd about it.

Ok I have no idea just how many touhou fans are aware of Laika, Rinnosuke's robot dog introduced in CoLA ch35 but if you're not aware, he finds this robot and it causes all sorts of chaos and wrecks his shop, and they eventually find out its possessed by a puppy spirit. If you're at all curious, go read it on the touhou wiki if you haven't already.

How do I know for sure that it's an Aibo? Well, on top of the fact it definitely resembles one, Sumireko suggests naming it Aibo and in BAiJR Aya literally says it's an aibo. This is one of the few things she probably didn't lie about in this book bc how the hell would she otherwise even know what an aibo is TO be able to lie about it.

(Side note, the official name is just "AIBO", im not sure why she calls it AIBO buddy here, maybe bc aibo is a pun on the japanese word meaning buddy but why tack it onto the end? Idk)

Ok for those who don't know what an aibo is, it's a series of robot dogs Sony made, there were several models released between 1999-2006, and later had the ers-1000 in 2018 which is still available (and I personally have an ers-111 :3)

Pictured: aibo models ers-310, 220, 110, 210, and 7

Ok, so, what kind of AIBO is Laika then?

This is where it gets.. confusing.

this line from sumireko would imply it's an ers-110, as it was the very first model of aibo ever released.

But.. laika doesn't look much like a 110

Ok the way she's drawn doesn't look that close to ANY real model of aibo, but the drawing makes her look more like a 210, with the (probably) white coloration, visor shape, and upturned ears.

(110 vs 210)

It's also possible she doesnt resemble any model too closely to avoid copyright issues, but even then she visually resembles a 210 much more than a 110.

Other than that ch35 doesn't give us much else to determine her model, she doesn't display any particular behaviors that would indicate it, rinnosuke says her expressions can't be read implying her eye lights are non functional, and that she's completely silent. Aibos LOVE to make noise, and usually communicate through music and tones, so it's likely the animal spirit is simply pup-petting (hehe) a nonfunctional aibo body. Rinnosuke also mentions that it's begun to actually listen to him, which would imply a 210 or later (110 and 111 do not have voice recognition) if it weren't for the possibility that again, it's just the puppy controlling it.

So there's a few possibilities here.

- zun didn't depict her to be any particular model to not get smited by sony's lawyers

- she is a 110 but for whatever reason, be it a miscommunication or just zun or the artist deciding it didn't matter that much, that isn't reflected in the art

- sumireko is wrong, and she is a 210

Or maybe she's just a 110 with some cool customization, like paint and custom ear pieces. Then again, she did pass into gensokyo meaning she's been totally forgotten, and that seems less likely if someone took the time to customize her.

So now im curious. Given the evidence, what do YOU think laika is? Even if you didn't know shit about aibo before this post, hell, ESPECIALLY if you didn't, what do you think?

Personally I kinda like to think she's a 210 bc I think they're neat. Maybe even a gold 210, since the yellow tinge in the cover art makes her look like the very pale gold of the pale gold 210s. But as an existing aibo enjoyer I'm a little biased

I really hope laika gets to come back at some point, I have a little bit of hope since beast spirits as a plot point have become a lot more significant. She seems like a very good doggy :]

If you for some reason read all of this thank you for indulging my insanity

[sam-loves-seb]

weely tag wednesday

thanks for the tags @energievie @metalheadmickey @deedala !

which character from any media would you like to have as a father? jed bartlet (the west wing)

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have? probably just a cat tbh i'm not a big animal person (i think they're neat, i just don't really have the desire to own any of them)

what is your Chinese takeout order? pork fried rice and chicken fingers

what's your favourite emoji? this one: ✨

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house? a home theater. a library would be sick but i read mostly ebooks so i think a theater would get more use out of me.

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly? Spongebob Squarepants. me and my sister used to watch this every single night with our dad when we were little, but if we wanted to stay up and watch it we had to be all ready for bed by the time it came on

what was your tumblr like when you first joined? it was a lot of reblogs of aesthetic photographs because it was 2012 and i was 14. not long after that tho it turned into a sebastian stan fan blog which is how i got my url, and over time that slowly morphed into the multi fandom madness you see today

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself? god i don't know, my closet is a little bit of everything because i always wanna try a new style when i see it. i honestly don't think i have an answer for this one, i really do love fashion and my style is constantly changing

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best? i have no idea. acotar maybe? solely because i've read those books so many times? yeah i guess i'll go with that

what is your favourite piece of art? café terrace at night

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like? i have a light blue wide mouth nalgene water bottle that is covered in stickers and has two friendship bracelets dangling from the cap strap. it's giving major camp counselor vibes.

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave? look, if i go on a quiet hunt for fics tagged aftercare every now and then, that is between me and god so shut the fuck up about it

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it? nope. i don't have an office bag bc i wfh and on the weekends i absolutely despise carrying a purse. i have one of those phone cases with card slots on the back and it holds everything i could possibly need.

if you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be? sexually i think it'd have to be lip, but if i could platonically ship him with someone i think i'd pick fiona. idk i just think they'd get along better than anyone would think.

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did? friends to lovers kinda snuck up on me in my adulthood. i used to be very against it as a teen, but now that i'm grown and have actually seen the trope done well in fics and in media, it's one of my favorite tropes of all time.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian? yes 100% absolutely and anyone who says otherwise is lying. (did we all see noel's s11 body? we saw the abs right? mans was ripped in the last season even tho the writers like, never showed it, and it is my personal mission to avenge this wrongdoing) i'm kidding about the lying part but yeah, he absolutely can still carry s11 ian, being able to lift his husband is the only reason he still goes to the gym

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house? debbie. i think carl wanted it, but he already has a gun so he gave it to debbie instead.

tagging: @suchagallabitch @gallawitchxx @callivich @michellemisfit @iansw0rld and anyone else who wants to play !

[cerealmonster15]

listen people can have their differing opinions that’s cool I just Personally Feel Like it’s just so mean to be yelling that feedback such as likes on posts and a kudos on fics are “useless”. What do u mean. Why. are ppl not expressing their feelings in a way that makes them comfortable ? ?

Like I Understand i guess in the sense of you don’t get to hear peoples opinions. I also feel kinda lonely and stuff when it’s quiet feedback but calling anything useless sounds so WEIRD to me ??? What is the goal. And also yea they do something still I’m pretty sure????

Take ao3. Isn’t sort by kudos an option on there? If your goal is to be seen more or whatever then if people are looking for high kudos fics, then people giving ur fic a kudos isn’t useless yeah??

And then tumblr. People keep saying “likes do nothing here there’s no algorithm” or whatever but that’s not really fully true. On your standard dashboard, sure, likes “don’t do anything” to move a post around on there. BUT that’s not the only place people find posts. If u are looking in the tags for posts, im p sure the default is to sort by popular posts. That’s, as far as I understand, a TOTAL NOTES count. Likes are included. Likes help ur posts her higher in that “popular” zone. I have several posts that have ended up in there in some small ship tags BECAUSE of all the likes, which does still have people seeing those posts now and then when they’re in the tag.

AND I’m pretty sure it’s a similar mechanic for the for you page. I’m sure we think people don’t use that feature but I’m pretty sure people do/ maybe new users. This is more of a theory on my part lol buttttt. I’ve noticed a few rare times where I’ve made an addition to a reblog on someone else’s post, there will be a stretch of time sometimes where random people that Do Not Follow Me keep liking/reblogging the post via my addition. WAY more times for it to just be a stray person wanting it from my addition without comments under (and I don’t think people do that when they’re only liking the post lol). And the few times I’ve accidentally had my for you tab on, I believe it does show via other people’s reblogs lol. So that’s just my way of saying total note count INCLUDING LIKES probably does put posts in peoples eyes on the for you tab / my experience tells me people do use that feature so it’s not just sitting there dusty lol.

Anyway I like mostly understand why people want reblogs and comments, like I do prefer them too bc I like when people tell me what they r thinking (however sometimes people do not add their thoughts in the tags either and that is just how it is!). And I also understand some people maybe just don’t know that others like that kind of feedback and need to hear it first to feel encouraged. I think I just personally do not like the tone that a lot of posts have when they talk about it. When ur calling likes useless bc idk it’s not the right kind of feedback u wanted so it’s inferior ?? 😭😭😭 I also feel like that intense vibe like, idk if this makes sense or if other people felt it too, but it negatively shifted my own perception too? Like. I thought likes were fine. But now with how intense people are about them and not meant if likes bc they just don’t count in ur eyes, now when people like instead of reblogging, I just think of all those posts and I’m like “hmm ok is my post bad did I make a bad post bc everyone says the likes aren’t good so if I’m getting likes I made A Bad Post. It’s Pity Feedback” <- which is SO unhealthy and also tbh has a lot more to do with my own issues that are just getting influenced here so it’s not all on those posts lol. I just Also Have Extra Issues 🫡

Ok jeeze I don’t wanna sound soap boxy tho so I’m NOT letting people rb this aJsndjfcjfjfjcjfj and ppl can absolutely have different feelings and opinions about the situation it’s fine. this is just. how I feel ✌️

[mackmp3]

🏚 🔮 🪚 ⚰️ 🩸 for the character ask game bc theyre all interesting asf & im curious :P

YAY THANK YOU im assuming you mean for my ocs? i had tagged that game as them & i dont think we have a lot of media in common hehe but YIPPEE i answered ⚰️ here already :)

🏚 - what would your character do if their house was haunted? are they haunting their house? does the house reflect their state of mind, or does the house love/hate them and vice versa?

ooh it kinda depends cos strangeways can talk to ghosts, if it was a standard Dead Person haunting she'd be able to just hang out with them. like she probably wouldnt mind so much. haunting as metaphor for hanging on to the past etc. but if i was something a lot more nebulous she would 100% go full horror protagonist by a) trying to research & document & figure out whats going on and b) therefore providing a complete record of her haunting :) (she works in an archive specialsing in supernatural & extraterrestrial events in folklore lol)

mihangel would be the one haunting the house. or the house is haunting him. the house is representative of his doubt and how she feels his identity could slip away from him any moment and he doesnt know how to stop life carrying on, pulling her along with it. she is still living in the house that she knows is haunting her because she has forgotten what it was like before

rest of qs under the cut its kinda long lol

🔮 - if your character had a dream they or a loved one was going to die a horrible death (that is probably inevitable), what would they do?

strangeways would probably, very very deep down, a bit relieved - because of her Time Thing she is aging slowly and isnt sure if she'll ever die, and really cant think of much worse than living Forever. but she'd still be afraid. being theoretically able to die and seeing your own death barelling towards you is quite different. if it was someone close to her? she would walk to their house in the middle of the night and make sure they were safe.

mihangel kinda canonically has this? like he has dreams about his time Being Dead and theyre very real because it. Was real. he would only start getting Worried if it wasnt the same dream yknow? but if it was about someone else he would probably tell strangeways about it and then they would panic together lol

🪚 - what would happen if you put two of your characters in a saw trap maze together?

panic & cry & bleed a lot probably idk much about saw traps but it sounds pretty bad theyd hate it needless to say

🩸 - if confronted with a monster, would they romance them, befriend them, fight them, run away, kill them? something else?

strangeways would be taking meticulous notes & even attempting a few sketches and getting out a tape recorder to ask them a few questions & respectfully sitting down to listen. mihangel would be trying to leave but if strangeways did end up actually interviewing/documenting/petting a monster she would probably chill out a bit but maybe not get toooooo close. he's been to space & met aliens but he was also killed by one so while he knows most of them are chill she's well aware a lot of them are Not lol. he is one of those people who as a kid fully believed in fae & convinced his friends at school the beasts of exmoor were real & he'd seen one too (not in exmoor but on his grandparents farm in wales so that was pretty close when youre eight) so yeah he would be immediatly Scared by a monster. though it does depend on how Big & Feral it is ig

[zmediaoutlet]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged to do the do by @prince-of-elsinore, ty ty for thinking of me

How many works do you have on ao3?

211 (and elsewhere, maybe a dozen we don't talk about, bc they suck, on livejournal; maybe a couple dozen short pieces here on tumblr that have never migrated to ao3)

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,515,103

What fandoms do you write for?

Almost all Supernatural, but also some video game fandoms (FF, DA, maybe BG3 soon), MCU, etc. usual suspects.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. oh so good, oh so fine -- 993 kudos 2. there will be better days -- 846 kudos 3. see things so much clearer -- 621 kudos 4. into the flood again -- 602 kudos 5. side two, track one -- 558 kudos maybe someday we'll break 1000, lol

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely I do, and would find it rude not to. I know other people have all kinds of reasons they don't respond but I don't have any of those reasons, especially since I'm pathetically grateful every time someone bothers to say they liked something, lol. If anyone's even a tiny bit encouraged to become a repeat reader by the writer responding, I want to encourage that as much as possible. Plus, every once in a while, you can get a dece conversation going in the comments! Find a like-minded fan! That's worth any effort to compose a few sentences of thanks. The only comments I don't respond to are emoji strings or cut-and-paste 'another kudos here' comments, because they're not actually comments. (I appreciate the thought, but... I don't want them.)

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have had some beta friends who would argue about this one, lol. I guess the saddest is probably the hollow summer, since the whole plot is kind of hurt/no comfort. I don't believe in a successful boy king, let's say that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, probably depends on how you define 'happy'. glory days is probably the most cheerful; for me, the happy comes better with more experience behind it, so the thirty-third yard would maybe be my personal choice.

Do you get hate on fics?

nope; worst I ever got was some twerp who actually responded to someone else's comment, bitching that I didn't put the right peepee in the right poopyhole. But only one of those, ever, and safely ignored. idk, I don't attract that much.

Do you write smut?

...yes.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

only one, and it only sort of counts -- i heard love was blind, which is Cordell Walker/Dean Winchester, but of course the point is that Dean's getting the body of his brother by other means. I like crossovers but I usually want there to be a point beyond 'let's mash these two faves together and see what happens'; I'm more inclined toward doing a whole-universe fusion, e.g. fully placing characters with what you can salvage of their key backstory elements into a universe not their own... which I guess would also count as a crossover, wouldn't it. so I also did that with putting the Winchesters into the Dragon Age 2 plot, in whatever we were before. definitely 'crazier' than the first one here, lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think that's the kind of thing that happens on WattPad. Who cares.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried; it didn't work. Both people need to be contributing to the writing for it to really count as 'co-written'; nevertheless it's stuck with both author names on ao3 because I don't think there's a way to change that.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think from context this should be clear. Although will also forever hold many small candles for the little guys.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

the aforementioned "co-written" fic, which was meant to be a huge series. The first fic is finished because I brute-forced my way through it, but there was a full five-season arc we were going to try to get through. Alas. The first one is decent, though, and works as a complete fic on its own: In a Cursed Hour.

What are your writing strengths?

voice, pacing, naturalism; characterization, though that can be argued in a fan-space

What are your writing weaknesses?

plot -- I find it intensely boring. Avoidance of plot then tends to flatten stories into similar non-arcs; I don't mind that, but it's a skill to exercise.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'll only do Spanish, and that's only because I studied it for eight years. Even then it's usually the wrong choice, unless it's a fully blended multilingual story (which most are not, and in the wrong hands it comes off as absurd); better to convey through the POV character either understanding it or not, and dealing with it in narrative instead of straight dialogue. Although a word or two here or there is nbd, clearly.

First fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy VIII

Favorite fic you've written?

well, questions, you got me, because I don't believe in favorites. at this moment in terms of writing skill I think the best might be asceticism, but in terms of one that sits in my head and fully just is canon, lol, it might be there will be better days, mentioned above. the only heaven fic I need. I guess that says something.

kind of interesting to look at the stats, if also stressful. let's get some other writers to be interested/stressed -- uhh @redmyeyes, @phynali, @hellhoundsprey, @stillwaterseas, @whiskeycherrypie

some shots in the dark :)

[ashleybenlove]

Okay so I’ve been struck with an idea I really want to share and you seemed like the type of person who might like it? It’s kind of a ramble so I’m sorry if this is bothersome

You personally really opened my mind to HTTYD polyships (love your OT6 works) and in the idealized universe in my head (everyone has one of those right? 😂) I’ve been constructing a polycule and just a few days ago while thinking really hard about this fic based on all those with Hiccup raised by dragons but with Dagur instead; rolling it around and exploring the idea of how that Dagur might interact with the other characters when I was hit by a sudden brainwave. What if he became smitten with Toothless? Like if he was raised by dragons it would make sense that he would be attracted to dragons first and foremost however his relationship with Hiccup might develop. And then it was only a small jump to apply this to a more canon-adjacent universe; where after some time in a relationship with Hiccup (who is separately dating Toothless amongst others) Dagur would sometimes hang out with Toothless separately maybe if Hiccup was doing something neither felt the need to tag along for(he is the only person other than Hiccup to call him by a nickname, T, after his redemption but that might just be a Dagur thing he calls a lot of people by nicknames but something about him calling Toothless T just struck me as awfully friendly of him). And as they spend time just hanging out maybe they both become fonder of eachother than they were expecting. And then they date too.

And this also like connects Toothless in the polycule more if that makes sense? Like if he was only dating Hiccup and was just committed to his Soulmate for the rest of his life that’s one thing but after THW (which of course has to have it’s bones picked for good parts that are few and far between) he also has the Lightfury who I guess he could just be seeing for family-rearing purposes if that’s a direction he wanted to take his life in but couldn’t before. But it does show him committing to a romantic relationship outside of Hiccup so the fact that he wasn’t dating anyone else almost seemed weird like he never had romantic feelings for anyone but his rider? No one was interested in him? IDK I guess it just seemed interesting to me to explore Toothless in a relationship with someone who wasn’t his soulmate or the drakina he had kids with

And I’m imagining after Toothless realizes he has feelings esp requited he decides to court in a human manner bc I headcanon Toothcup just kind of falling together easily. Like they have a conversation about love and romance, probably after GOTNF, actually now I’m trying to outline a separate fic at you I’m sorry but just know that I’m my head they skip straight from besties to almost literally married (as in, literally but in the dragons culture) in like, one conversation. So Toothless has never courted before so he does things like grabbing a mouthful of flowers ect. ect. And Dagur I’d like ‘Oh gods why is this happening again. I was terrible to him, I hunted him, WHY DO I NOW HAVE A CRUSH WHY DO I KEEP MAKING TERRIBLE IMPRESSIONS ON PEOPLE I WANT TO LIKE ME’ and is genuinely baffled but delighted that Toothless reciprocates. I’ve only been turning this over for a day or two so I’m not sure how he acts in the relationship but I’m so invested in the two of them slowly building up a relationship outside of their shared feeling for Hiccup. Like I’ve always liked them being genuine friends but this just hit me out of nowhere and I really wanted to share it.

And I guess I chose you because when I thought of the intersection of Dagcup, Toothcup, and general HTTYD polycule madness I thought of you. I love your work in this fandom and I love the way you build encompassing relationships between so many disparate people. I’d love to hear what you think about this little ship idea

Please accept this picture of my HTTYD studies cuddling as payment for reading my excessive ramble

Aww, thank you!!! That's very nice of you to say!!! 🥰

(Very cute picture!!!)

I like your idea! Dagur being raised by dragons (technically, a feral child) definitely works considering how feral he generally is.

As for Dagur and Toothless, I always point repeatedly at the fact that the number one thing that gave Hiccup pause, that made Hiccup want to trust Dagur is that Toothless let Dagur (who had previously been pretty hostile to him) ride him to save Hiccup. Toothless is a good judge of character. (He let Hiccup live, after all.)

And yeah, Hiccup and Toothless being practically married by the end of GOTNF is good. I mean, one could easily be like "oh the forehead touch in HTTYD2 is when they got married." Sure, but also: Hiccup and Toothless have been married for like, years by that point. That's like, them renewing their vows.

Also love this: "IDK I guess it just seemed interesting to me to explore Toothless in a relationship with someone who wasn’t his soulmate or the drakina he had kids with". Because like, yeah, that's the whole point of fanworks. Let's play in the sandbox a different way!!! Let Toothless have a separate relationship with Dagur (whether it's casual or serious!).

Anyways! Great stuff!!! I hope you have lots of fun with it!!!

[xoshepard]

ough i decided to repurpose my "bad business" tag for just general romance posts bc im too humiliated to keep all the text posts that used to be in it especially given recent revelations, but part of the reason i did this is so that i can try to get back to being my former romantic self, if a little more grounded

but the problem is like... like that "find someone who pays attention" post, it came out of the queue so reading it just now was like reading it for the first time again and im so 🧍 like i don't think i believe i can find someone like that anymore skjdhfs like i think the part of me that used to believe that someone would think i was special or interesting or pretty or some combination of those and fall in love w me or whatever has been replaced by the thought process that says no matter what i am gonna have to contort myself into some unnatural shape, not compromise for love but change who i am just to be accepted, if i ever want to be in a relationship

it's why i got into a relationship w my ex even though i didn't think he was attractive and felt like he didn't rly care about what i was saying. like. a lot of people make me feel like they dgaf what i have to say so atp do i just have to accept that or be alone forever. it's starting to feel more and more like the latter.

there was someone who was v interested in what i had to say and wanted to share things w me and know about me and i felt the same about them, but since then it has never ever happened and even tho i don't want that specific person back anymore i also kinda feel like that was a fluke born of both of us refusing to get close enough to see each other as people, and i will never truly have that kind of connection with someone

like other people get into and out of relationships like it's normal but i think i'm just. idk warped into a shape that doesn't fit with anyone else anymore. and like i wish i was someone who just doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship but that's not even it. i still want to but the more time passes the more i believe it's just Really Not Possible for me

like god i keep saying to myself "maybe i'll meet someone in grad school" bc that's the only thing that stops me from feeling sorry for myself all the time, but i don't even really believe it anymore. i think i'm just gonna keep hoping i'll meet someone at the next thing i do until i run out of next things and i just die after having been alone for the vast majority of the time

tl;dr: no one wants me my guy

[da3drat]

20 questions for writers

tysm @wispstalk for tagging me! :D tagging back @ghoulingcooper as always but I thinkkkk everyone else has been tagged already. Questions under the cut~

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Three

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3,413

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just elder scrolls so far, though I do have ideas for a palia fic floating around.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

lol. my top one is In the End, the World Still Turns. Which doesn't surprise me bc it's my only Oblivion fic.

5. Do you respond to comments?

YES sometimes it takes me a while to get around to it though because I have the memory of a goldfish

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Not Dead (Yet) will definitely have the angstiest ending when we finally get there. We love tragedy in this house.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhh none? lets go with none of them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope ! <3 I love you elder scrolls fandom

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nah. frankly I don't think I would be any good at it so I prefer to just allude to sex and leave off right before or pick up right after. also to be real with you I'm still getting over my just came out of the closet lesbian repression. so maybe we'll get there eventually.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

My one Palia fic would be an Oblivion crossover! But idk if it will ever actually get written. The plot and lore in Palia interest me and I really think the effect they and the setting have on Celeste is interesting but I have so much Elder Scrolls fic I want to write that I just don't know if it'll ever be at the top of my to write list. Not to mention my personal project.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and tbh I don't have the readership numbers to be worried about that lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

noooo but I have co planned a LOT of them with Cat even if they haven't been written. s2g they will someday.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I mean I think we all know its Ayem/Nerevarine lol. I think it shines a really interesting light on Almalexia and gives you the opportunity to dig into her character. It also implies an interesting Nerevarine (imo not to toot my own horn here lol) because it requires them to understand the danger of meeting someone who quite literally murdered you in a previous life and then still show them vulnerability and compassion. Idk shipping is sort of an exercise in character analysis to me, and I like what the Nerevarine can draw out of Almalexia and vice versa. With Meri and Almalexia specifically they're two chronic liars who meet someone that knows their tells and that's the closest to honesty they can get. And that breeds an interesting form of codependency. Having one person in the entire world who can see you for who you are no matter how hard you try to hide it, and then accepts and even loves that person even though they objectively kind of suck lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Don't have any atm! My only wip is Not Dead (Yet) and I'm so fucking determined to finish this even if it takes me years.

16. What are your writing strengths?

fuck if I know. I haven't been doing this long enough to have any real idea about it I'm just kind of throwing shit at the page and hoping for the best. I like to believe it's my character work.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

THIS one I could give u a list a mile long lmao but I will say I think I show my hand too early and I tend to lack subtlety. Working on that quite deliberately rn.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mostly throw in bits and pieces for emotional effect. Terms of endearment and the like. I know basically nothing about linguistics or being bilingual so I feel like I would want to a lot of serious research before I tried anything more serious than tossing a few dunmeri cuss words or velothi nicknames into a fic lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

um. supernatural.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

NOT DEAD YET. NOT DEAD YETTTTTTT. it's the first multi-chapter project I've ever attempted and also I care so much about this story and these characters that it's really motivating me to try to improve my work every single time I sit down to write.<3

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[tonydaddingham]

(last anon= me, was a bit anxious it might not go over well for some reason- off now bc changing the capitalization was a pain)

i agree on the human aus! love their flexibility, the sorta "yeah, may as well happen" you get clicking on something (with love) completely ridiculous. it's also so much fun to see what people do with crowley's eyes and his relationship to the glasses.

i'm very very early in planning this, but i want a&c to be as close to theirshow characterizations as i can possibly get them (book boys are amazing but i want the drama). i don't know that i'll do a very good job at justifying it with their backstories, but i'm gonna try. (idk. people have different opinions on personality being nature vs nurture. i can claim majority nature if it's more convenient)

i'm thinking here that crowley, personally, would have had to kill somebody or a couple somebodies, in an absolute (it at least appeared so, still does), life or death, them or him scenario (only his life saved). said somebody or somebodies would have attacked first, and out of desperation-- not totally their choice either. i'm assuming for the sake of the fic that he'd be able to do it at all, and then survive a couple decades after, so there's... something.

i just can't figure out exactly how he'd have coped with it, and whether he'd, later, think of it as justified, like how much guilt there would be. don't know what's even plausible.

my biggest problem is that framing him as 100% Good and Pure (and weirdly helpless?) like ppl do sometimes is literally my biggest fear writing this (huge mischaracterization in general). i don't want to go for the exact same indifference as in the show, for reasons you mentioned (and also that level of apathy would fuck up the entire rest of the fic), but not too far in the opposite direction, either.

tysm for the first response and considering a second, this seems a whole lot more solvable- and sorry if it's a lot to ask to go over all this (although your ability to hold a shit ton of information at once and then respond eloquently is impressive asf, looking at like every chain with LWA), i just drew a bit of a blank. also my bad if it's got a little heavy for your blog, just realized looking at the tags 😭

oh @aq-uatic you silly goose!!!✨ im absolutely fine with asks like that, please feel free to sling them my way anytime!!! ultimately tho, that's what the tw was for; just in case it was a bit heavy for someone else, but for me, personally? there's not a lot of themes that i feel uncomfortable discussing, almost all topics are welcome and i'll soon say if they aren't!!!💕

ooooh okay, so a self-defence angle!!! i think that that could be interesting to explore, because - well, you could take it from the perspective that crowley is initially very righteous in defending himself, rightly thinking that he deserved to protect himself, and the use of force was proportionate. he could initially come across as quite dispassionate and apathetic about it, "me vs. them? well of course it was going to be me!", and ultimately not want to address the whole concept of having committed murder because, on face value, it was justified. and maybe he privately doesn't want to examine it bc he's apprehensive about what he'd find?

but then as plot (and character) develops, turns out that because the whole thing was so fast, fuelled by adrenaline and the instinct to survive, crowley ends up... not being able to remember much of it? and as details start to come back, i think that's where the cognitive dissonance element would play - that he then has to reconcile himself as being someone who he feels is morally sound, 'would never harm another human being', a good person... but then is starting to remember his fear in the situation, confronting his own mortality, and what it says about him to be able to take another life with little thought other than his own self-preservation? as well as remember the specific physical details of what happened? the sounds, the smells? looks in the mirror afterwards and sees a different person looking back?

obviously without knowing the full motive of the person attacking him, who they are, what their story is etc.,... i think crowley could end up dealing with it in a way that he accepts that he cannot control others' actions, only his own. that that person chose to put him in the position of having to defend himself, and whilst, yes, that person may have had a family, friends, potential... when he's in a position of ensuring his own survival, he may have actually made the best decision he could have at the time. idk if you're planning to explore the attacker's circumstances in any depth, but if - for example - they were trying to rob him out of their own desperation (e.g. homelessness/austerity, fund addiction, peer pressured/gang context, mental health), maybe crowley would deal with that by exploring charitable work, or good causes, that seek to alleviate that very desperation? and that's how he heals from the experience?

again, hoping this might be some food for thought!!!✨💕 please do link me your fic when you've posted anything, i really admire how you're exploring this concept and it sounds really interesting and promising!!! i'll reiterate that i love getting asks, especially when they explore topics like this; i feel the LWA ones are a little bit of an anomaly, for being really analysis-heavy (which i love, let me clear), but getting to be a bit creative is exciting for me too!!!✨

[seekforwarmth]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

thank you so much @disgruntledkittenface for tagging me! i enjoyed reading your answers.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?  20 (counting the one that will be published next week and it’s already in the collection). 

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 93,952

3. What fandoms do you write for? one direction 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? beg me silently reckless behaviour Harmony Thank you, five. fuck around, find out 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes!!! since i don’t get many, it’s easier to reply to them. i’m very appreciative of the ppl who take their time to read my fic and to leave a comment, the least i can do is to reply to them.  

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? idk, this can be angsty for some and not for others but maybe Needle. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? this is hard to choose bc all my fics are pretty happy, but i’ll say more than that bc there’s a very emotional part with adoption and marriage so yeah. 

8. Do you get hate on fics? directly on ao3 no, but my fics have been called ‘horrorities’ on twitter and i’ve gotten some anons on tumblr calling me names. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yessssss. it’s usually very loving but it’s fast. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you've written? idk what crossovers were until i read the answers from the other ppl. so i guess with me writing rare pairs i’ve written some crossovers and the craziest is probably Louis/Alisson Becker. i was the first person to use that relationship tag lol 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yes, and it wasn’t even a good one. that was years ago though, i wouldn’t know if it’s happened again since idk how to use wattpad.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no bc i don’t allow it precisely bc the majority wants to do it on wattpad and idk how that works. i’ll probably translate one of my future fics but we’ll see. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no but i will next year! and this is the one i plan to translate, i still need to discuss that with my co-author hehe. 

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? Harry and Louis, although from the pairs i’ve written, Louis and Sebastian Stan own my heart as well. 

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? well, i started writing a divorce fic (Louis is divorcing someone else and Harry is the solicitor) but idk i felt like i was dealing with heavy topics and considering next year i will only work on two fics (that i’ve already chosen), i don’t think that fic will ever see the light.  

16. What are your writing strengths? this is not from me but Anitra @allwaswell16 says that my complex sentences hehe 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? just writing in general, but mainly descriptions. from the wip i mentioned in question 15 i wrote almost 4k of dialogue but descriptions? idk them. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? been there, done that. for more than that i included some French with google’s help. for over my shoulder, i used a couple of phrases in Romanian (which a friend helped me with bc google was not being helpful). and for two languages, one love i used several phrases in Spanish bc that’s my first language. 

19. First fandom you wrote for? one direction 

20. Favorite fic you've written?  Cold Spring. i’m obsessed with it. <3

tagging (no pressure) @shimmeringevil, @pleasing-louis, @voulezloux, @imogenleewriter, @nooradeservedbetter, and anyone who wants to answer the questions, just say i tagged you so i can read the answers!

[wooahaes]

dino soulmate au !! i don't have a specific trope in mind, but im curious to see which one you think fits him best :D

hii <3 hmm... technically dino was where i left off on my soulmate series (which is currently paused until i finish either sweet night (more likely) or under the sun (unlikely lol), then i'll try to finish out those fics before i start a new series), so i'll avoid what i've got planned for him there

(death tw, will tag the post w this as well)

ill play around w a lil bit of angst. reader has lost the soulmate that they were dating ever since they met in high school bc (insert cause of death here). not even minutes after he's dead, the name lee chan writes itself across the back of their hand. out of resentment for the universe immediately pairing you up right after you lose the love of your life, you resolve to keep the stupid name covered as much as you can and never meet this lee chan the universe is replacing your soulmate with.

elsewhere, chan realizes that there's a name written up his forearm that he didn't have before. a certain percentage of ppl are born w/o soulmates, and chan always thought he was one of them until now. he probably excitedly shows it off to his friends (only abt half of which have soulmates imo bc i like having a mixed bag there), and they promise to let him know if they happen to run into someone w his own name on them.

enter jeonghan, currently going through practicum to become a licensed therapist. enter, you on a summer day without a bandage on the back of your hand and his friend's name contrasting your skin in neat lettering. also enter the fact that jeonghan can't say/do anything about giving out your information because of violations, so he's stuck trying to figure out how he can lead you or chan to one another.

ultimately, he figures out a way: you mumble one day a week or two later that your favorite coffee shop is closed for renovations because you'd always treat yourself with something sweet from there, jeonghan asks if he can make a suggestion, and he pushes you toward one of chan's favorite places before immediately getting both seungkwan and vernon on the task of getting chan there. you end up sitting in the corner to kinda just people watch and chill post-therapy session and wait on your drink. your name gets called out, and you notice the way another guy's head snaps up immediately. you retreat to your corner with your drink, only to hear the name lee chan read out soon enough and you aren't taking any chances. you get up to leave, and immediately the guy tails you out and asks for you to stop before rolling his jacket sleeve back to reveal where your name is boldly written along his arm.

you tell him you aren't interested. he's immediately heartbroken by that kind of talk, but asks for your number anyway because he'd at least like to be your friend if nothing else. you give it to him after making it clear you aren't looking for a new lover, and then leave.

and idk insert more stuff abt you and chan getting closer until you finally open up and mention tht ur in grief counseling bc of ur soulmate dying and that you'd always hated chan (as a concept--you like him now as a person) because it wasn't even five minutes before his name appeared on you. he apologizes, you tell him not to bc its not his fault, and the two of you agree to take ur friendship slow.

insert chan feeling guilty as he falls for you. insert u feeling guiltier because you fell harder after that and you try to push him away again. fic culminates in you admitting to him or to a friend that you're terrified of losing another soulmate. maybe its w a family member of deceased soulmate who reassures you that he would want you to be happy before asking if it had been you, wouldn't you want him to move on one day? it ends w you crying on them and apologizing because you feel like ur betraying ur first soulmate, but accepting that its okay to move on.

its just a lot of talk abt grief and whatnot lol with a side of chan helping you heal because he wants to be there for you, romantic feelings or not. you confess to him that you've fallen for him and ask to take things slow now and the fic ends off with the two of you going to get coffee together or something

[maglors-anion-gap]

5,6,10 and 17 for the spread love ask :)

[from this ask game]

5. Recommend three (or more) blogs to follow

you gave me the hard question!! :( someone else asked me the same question so it's not as hard though, I won't have to narrow it down as much. Today's theme is resources! I am recommending @antiracist-tolkien because the blog has such a good collection of meta and general information. I go weeks sometimes not logging on or scrolling much and I miss so many good posts, so I really appreciate the dedication to running an archive blog of that sort! @tolkien-meta-library fills a similar niche; I'm so paranoid about missing The Definitive Treatise on something or other. I'm also recommending @expertsofarda because if you're not plugged into the silmarillion writers guild discord or don't already have beta readers or mutuals with niche knowledge, this is an excellent place to see who might be able to answer a question of yours. You don't even have to message ppl; just knowing who knows what means tag searching their blog might yield results.

6. Ship or platonic relationship that you got into because of the fans

I think this is a tie between hurin/morwen(/aerin) courtesy of outofangband and idril/tuor/maeglin courtesy of jaz-the-bard! polar opposite pairings, to be sure. The former is because I had no knowledge of the narn and had simply failed to appreciate how cool morwen is (I have since learned the error of my ways). The latter .... tfog was really hard for me to engage with personally for a long time so it was actually really nice to see what the rest of the fandom was up to in terms of putting the puzzle pieces together, deciding what to keep, what to modify, etc. It's about the balancing of it, I think? idril/tuor was not so interesting to me on its own, and idril/maeglin was unbalanced and sad. I think a lot of the ships I'm interested in are some variation of having deep interpersonal conflict but also deep love. shrugs. (I've given maeglin the curufin blorbo treatment - it's the being your father's shadow for me).

10. A popular character you actually really like and why

Umm I actually really like Maedhros (No one could guess from my AO3 works /sarcasm). I don't think bad takes are super unique to him as a character; greater popularity and greater emotional attachment are positively correlated with woobification, and greater popularity is positively correlated with more takes and thus more bad takes. *snl reaction image* he has everything: pain, killing instinct, self-destructiveness, appeasement, love, hatred, duplicitousness, self-serving nature, hope beyond hope, trans of gender. He's not the only one to have these characteristics, but I also like fucked up and evil men. I can't list any of the other feanorians bc they don't come close for popularity.

17. Something you love that you don’t often share because you’re worried what others will think

.... you know the answer to this, my friend! ;) That particular thread will bear fruit soon! But to give a second, evasive, answer: I feel like I do talk about this a fair amount, but it always makes me super nervous to write/post trans porn because ... idk I feel like people treat it like it's extra-perverse or extra-explicit, but like. That's just my life. I am simply just vibing yaknow? Or just, generally explicit fic. Because on the one hand I feel like it's very revealing and I feel weird exposing my sex life to people - not because I feel inhibited but rather that people will maybe find it odd. And on the other, I feel like there's a kind of narrow window past which you go from "freak (appreciative)" to "freak (derogatory)" and that window is vanishingly small for unpopular characters, queer freaks (moi), and kink.