#idk what to post to the point where i'm bringing up old topics 😭

[tulipe-rose]

I've come across an old debate from 2023 arguing on who would be the queen on Dazai's side of the chess board; it was a Rampo vs Lucy debate. Some people suggested that Lucy would be the rook, and Rampo would be the queen, others argued that it was the opposite. Personally, I think that the former opinion is more accurate. Why? Because the rook, and the queen are both major pieces, thus meaning they have equal value (5 points), the difference is that Rampo is the strongest agency member, which means that he's the strongest chess piece; i.e the queen. Lucy was very valuable to Dazai's plan, but she isn't as strong as Rampo (intellect wise), she's more restricted. It could be argued that Lucy is stronger on the physical, and Ability front like the queen should be, and that is also valid as well, but her being a rook sits better with me.

[human-souls-buy-dopamine]

Idk why I'm suddenly wanting to post a bunch of random unrelated shit but eh. Here we go I guess, under a cut because idk how long this'll get 😭 also tw, heavy discussion of religion (christianity) and religion-based homophobia/transphobia

So like. Love our grandma to death right. Never will stop loving her. Just GOD sometimes she frustrates us so much 😭 (for context we live with her, she's our parent)

I can't tell if she's trying to be accepting or if she's not sometimes? It's so confusing. She let us have a pride flag, let us get a binder, she sometimes tries to use our pronouns and stuff. But then on the other side of things she just. Also tries to slip stuff about Christianity and whatnot into a lot of conversation about it

Like. Okay, she has a right to her own religious beliefs, just like we have a right to our own religious beliefs. None of our business. But it's so difficult when she claims to accept us and then spouts blatant transphobia and homophobia, votes for the guy literally trying to take away our rights, tells us that "God only made man and woman," etc—

Also the fact that, during our stay at the children's home, we briefly had a period where we genuinely tried to believe in christianity (as opposed to pretending bc you basically had to there) and so we read some verses on those topics + others. And unless there's proof of it being some translation error, homosexuality is mentioned both in the new and old testament!! I can't recall if the word itself is used for Soddam and Gomorrah, but in the NT there's a few that are just. Way too direct to ignore

"(9) Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men (10) nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

"(9) We also know that the law is made ... for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, (10) for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality..." (1 Timothy 1:9-10, omitted some parts for length but I kept the meaning)

With that being said, you can't exactly cherrypick here. It's very explicitly stated, and while it very well could be a 'translation error', I haven't seen anything that supports/points that conclusion. (Not to say it doesn't exist, just we personally haven't)

So like. It's difficult to not feel frustrated, especially since she wants us to go to church— Like, you can't claim to support us as we are and then believe the thing that says we're condemned to hell for it?

And, maybe I'm making shit up here, but in our years of being in a conservative Christian town and listening to sermons, the way that sin is talked about is very much framed as a choice? Like, obviously in Christianity it's believed that humans are inherently sinful/unworthy (which is a whole nother can of worms), but you *commit* sins. You *commit* murder, you *commit* idolatry, you *commit* sexual immorality, etc— Gramatically I can't frame everything in that language, but you get the idea. While humans are apparently predisposed to sin, it's never implied (to us, at least, and from what we've read) that some people just ARE murderers, ARE idolaters, ARE cheaters, etc— people choose to commit these acts while having the option not to.

Therefore, using that logic, in Christianity, being anything besides straight would be a choice. Which we know from experience isn't true— Like, sure, we love our identity, but stars, dude, wouldn't it be a hell of a lot easier if we could just be cishet?? Why would we continually CHOOSE to be something that puts us at risk of being the target of a hate crime, of being murdered, of being harassed?

We've brought up these points, but it's like she just. Doesn't acknowledge it? Or she'll just go "I don't know why" when we bring up the last point, as if she thinks we ARE faking it somehow ???? It's like.,.,,,., ma'am. I love you. Please realize that while I'm fine letting you have your religious beliefs, as any decent person should be, if I were to be insistent about my own the way you are about yours you'd say I'm persecuting you. Your stance is inconsistent and we are rhe ones who have to live with the knowledge that under your beliefs we are a sinner condemned to hell for something we cannot control. That sucks. Like, I love you, but it sucks.

Idk man I'm just. Agh. I love her and she's a great parent, she takes care of us and loves us and provides honesyly a LOT for what we have available, don't get me wrong!! it's just this specific topic that bugs me aghhh