#idk what this is rly but it's a lil different lol

[blvntfxrce]

christmas w ur captor!

tinsel around ur chains, being trusted to come upstairs to "open" your presents but ofc you're still restrained so you gesture to one for them to open for you, being given sips of hot cocoa bc you can't do it yourself, a lil stocking w ur name on it, forced cuddling while some romantic christmas movies play in the background.

for a second, the fear you're used to feeling subsides and you find yourself leaning into the person holding you captive from the world. you can't help but think to yourself how somebody so intimidating could go to all of this effort for you, the type of christmas you craved as a child. it's not quite home but you're warm & you feel safe here now, a little kiss on your forehead and it's back down into the basement to sleep, you say merry christmas to each other as the door closes & the stockholm syndrome starts to set in.

[littol-bun]

i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.

like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?

but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!

i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡⁠ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾

ouggghh im not little anymore but (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:

like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.

but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏾 i got ya lil sis

[sunrizef1]

So High School

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader

Warnings: None

Authors Note: This is what the poll was for lol

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yourusername

📍Miami, Florida

liked by sabrinacarpenter gracieabrams and 2,998,771 others

yourusername Miami, you absolutely rocked tonight!!! Thank you so much, ILY 🤟 💜🖤

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user1 🤟

user2 I WANNA GET HIM BACK

user3 I WANNA MAKE MAKE HIM RLY JEALOUS

user4 WANNA MAKE HIM FEEL BAD

user5 queen

user6 💜🖤

user7 THE SHOW WAS SO GOOD

user8 it was so fun 😭

user9 my fav

user10 I was in that crowd 🤭

user11 my favourite girl

user12 💜💜💜

user13 she's so pretty 😍

user14 Miami vibes

user15 y'all see that a couple of those f1 drivers were there

user16 which ones???

user15 uhh idk their names but it was the American one and his little friend

user17 Logan and Oscar?! 😭

user18 ahhhh she's so good 🥴

user19 I didn't get to go 😢

sabrinacarpenter it was so good!! 💜

yourusername thank you sab! 🫶

user20 I had so much fun

———————————————

logansargeant added to their story

yourusername

It was so cool to meet you!

Sucked to miss you guys after the show

I'll have to keep up with y'alls races from now on

logansargeant

think we mightve left too soon 😅

we got out fast

Assumed you wouldn't want to talk after the show 😅

yourusername

I would've stayed for y'all haha

I love f1, I was really excited when I got told you guys had tickets

logansargeant

damn now I feel bad 😬

yourusername

Its fine, really!

logansargeant

Let me make it up to you

I'll get you paddock passes

For whatever weekend you're free

yourusername

you don't have to 😅

I'll be okay

logansargeant

I'd love to talk to you again

take the invite

For me 😁

yourusername

Fine 😙

I'll check my schedule and text you 😊

logansargeant

can't wait 🤙

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TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

logansargeant

Where'd you gooooo

yourusername

They're giving me team merch lol

logansargeant

Oscar wants to re-meet you

yourusername

I'll be back in a sec

logansargeant

You better be 🙄

yourusername

You're so dramatic 😒

logansargeant

Rude 😔

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TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍London, United Kingdom

liked by oscarpiastri logansargeant and 6,001,887 others

yourusername I ❤️ London

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user21 how was the race, queen?

yourusername it was great, double Williams points 🫶💙

user22 she's so cute

user23 WHOS THAT MAN

user24 logie bear???

user25 I know Williams blue converse when I see them

user26 the fit ate

user27 queen 👑

user28 the Aristotle quote lmao???

user29 you know I love a London boy

user30 I don't think that's Logan

user31 delusion manifests itself in a lot of different ways

user32 💙🩵💙

user33 I <3 Logan sargeant

user34 wait who is that

user35 Logan sargeant

user34 and who tf is that

user36 an f1 driver, he went to her concert and she went to his race this weekend

user34 yeahhh I still dk what f1 is but thanks anyway 🫶

user35 I love them so much

user36 Logan crumbs

user37 how did the only two Americans find each other in the very un-american environment lmao

user38 didn't expect to see Aristotle when I swiped

user39 Logan and Oscar liked

————————————————

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

🎵 so high school - Y/N L/N

liked by logansargeant landonorris and 12,008,777 others

yourusername I feel so high school every time I look at you

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user40 AHHHHHHHH

user41 I love them so much

user42 OH MY GOD HEY LOGAN

user43 lowk Logan jumpscare at the end there

user44 who tf is that blond man

user44 awwww I love him

user45 songs so cute 😭

landonorris WAIT I KNOW HIM

liked by yourusername

user46 no ones ever had me… not like you 🥹🫶

user47 my favourite couple

alexalbon thats my teammate ☝️

yourusername hi Alex. How's lily 🫶

lilymhe im great! 😊 hi y/n, I miss you!

yourusername I miss u 2 lils 💙

user48 I need more Williams x y/n content

user49 royal couple

danielricciardo 🦅🦅🦅

liked by yourusername

user50 IM BETTING ON ALL THREE FOR US TWOOOOO

logansargeant marry, kiss, kill?

yourusername all three

user51 YEAHHHHHH MARRIAGE

user52 I've been so used to the European-ness of formula 1 that this, v American, relationship is so jarring

user53 I want that hat

user54 the one post dedicated to her American boy, she wears a Canada hat 🤷‍♀️

oscarpiastri good 4 u

yourusername is this a reference 🤔

oscarpiastri lmao, yes

oscarpiastri genuinely congrats, though 🫶

yourusername thank you Oscar 🫶

user55 I love the drivers in the comments

logansargeant love you 💜😁

yourusername love you too lo 🩵😊

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@casperlikej @evie-119

[tyunkus]

hi idk if this counts as a hard thought but i wanted to know what do u think are each member’s favorite way to either make YOU cum or are their favorite ways to cum themselves (fingers, tongue/mouth, cock, anal, etc) ?

does that make sense omg sorry my wording is bad!!

this makes perfect sense dw anon!!!!! this is such a good question omg (more under the cuttt)

for yeonjun i see eating you out as his favorite way to make you cum :3 everyone in txt is a munch but he kinda just has the natural pussy eater look if you get what i mean HAHA he has the most perfect lips for it! so plush and supple and theyd look perfect wet with your arousal... his cute lil tongue peeking out to lick the excess off his bottom lip, his pretty eyes all fluttery while you buck your hips up into him HAKSAKS his hands slide underneath your butt n hes pulling you closer to him, nose brushing against ur puffy lil clit, hes gonna taste every bit of u while you cum all over his gorgeous face <3

i think soobin lovesss to make u cum on his fingers :') idk his hands are so long and slender and pretty and they would look so so much lovelier dipped inside of you, covered in your wetness, circling over your clit.. and theyre so fucking big too i think that would turn him on as well, just seeing how big his hand is compared to ur cute lil cunt AUHRUWHRW he starts off a little slow, easing u into it, building it up while covering you in bites,,, your back arches off the bed while you cum and his cock twitches in his briefs LOL

beomgyus a simple man his favorite way to make you cum is on his dick LOL he has fantastic excellent stroke game he would be so rough on ur poor pussy :(!!!! slamming in all the way to the hilt n his fingers pressing down on your neck n hes looking down at u with this drunk look on his face ughh he cant get enough of you especially once ur creaming all around him

huening kai UGHHH TBHHH i think he would like making you cum on his cock too jfsjsdj but in a different way!!!!! hed love to draw it out, go painfully achingly slow so he can watch every single one of your expressions as you slowly lose all your senses cuz of his fat cock inside of u hehe the way your eyebrows tick upwards and your lips fall open and your eyes roll back in your pretty lil head, all of these little reactions only encourages him to tease you more til ur cumming all over him <3

tbhhhh. i think taehyun would like making you cum on his tongue.....something about how just his fucking mouth - not even his cock!!! - is making you writhe and squirm underneath him rly gets him going :( he would make fun of you so much for it!!!! his cock isnt even out but hes still making you feel so good, go all dumb for him huh :( what a dumb girl

[bestbouy]

i think i just love the idea of the different universes with their like, styles???

like how Gwen's is totally watercolor and Hobie's is all scrapbookish punk n newspaper, y'know???? and, of course, Miles and Pavitr's are both more "normal" but they still have that... you know... v i b e... they're both normal but they have elements that make it their own. Like how Pavitr's universe is mainly super warm colors?

anyways this got me thinking y'know how it's super obvious Hobie has a different universe style?? not so much for Gwen because hers is a little different, but with the whole. changing skin, the OUTLINE, it's very obvious

I think it'd be super cool if in Hobie's universe, it's kind of like the opposite for anybody who's not from it? They have their own like, radius of... their own dimension???

I'm only comparing this to Hobie's dimension, it's very obvious none of this would happen in CANON so I'm literally just spitballing. Also because Hobie is the only one with the outline and funny overlay thing, and it'd be fun to play around with the other three's possible like,,, vibe!!

Gwen would leave like, imprints of watercolor? like dabbing it on a piece of paper, leaving color that dries out back to normal over time?? it would bleed into the world around her, it might even mimic her emotions with the color!

If she was upset it would be harsh, spread more, it would come out in spiked reds and blacks?

happy would seep in a lot more subtly, and cover a lot more space, but you wouldn't realize how much room it's taking up just because it's so slow to take it up and really is only at about.. idk, 20% opacity, slowly builds up the happier she gets? it would be more visible in puddles, just like with normal watercolor (Compared to anger, which would be very in-your-face and obvious)

It would rely a lot on her emotions, methinks, the stronger they are, the more visible the color!

Miles would have a sketchy, drawing-like atmosphere to him, kind of like what you can see on the spot y'know? and, since the spot came from Miles' dimension, I think it makes sense!

It would be less noticeable, but the things he interacts with would probably turn into a slightly stylized version of itself? A cup he holds or drinks from wouldn't change DRAMATICALLY, but it might copy his look and have sketch-like lines around it. Nothing huge, but enough that you can tell what he's touched in the past few minutes/hours

Pavitr would have a similar vibe to Gwen's, but with warm colors instead! His effect wouldn't change with emotions like hers, but it would probably bleed in the same way as hers. He would leave behind trails of warm oranges and yellows wherever he goes and leaving it behind on what he touches. He wouldn't notice this, but it would be veeery obvious to Hobie or anybody from his dimension.

Actually, I think the way that we can spot Hobie because of his differences in outline/radius effect would highly apply to them in his dimension! Everybody in Hobie's world can CLEARLY tell that Gwen, Miles and Pav aren't from there, and while the common person might not recognize they're from another universe, they might get the same feeling as if you were seeing like.. a skinwalker, or something. They're human, but it doesn't feel like it.

ANYWAYS back to Pavitr

He has a warm, cozy vibe, I think unlike the others his can seep more into emotions, I think he's an empathetic person and that melts into his little area effect. if he's super happy or excited about something the people around him get a tiny bit happier too!! when he's sad (and it's rly hard to make him sad bc this boy is POSITIVE THINKER #1) his colors get a bit colder, but I don't think they would affect other people like his happy ones do, honestly just SEEING such a normally happy guy so sad would do enough to ur mood than some radius effect lol

ANYWAYS that's just a lil thought. they are silly. and this is going into my ideas folder. have a good one n remember to drink water

(I would go on but this is super long already XD)

[eirian]

HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.

so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.

in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!

unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.

dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.

so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.

so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.

its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling

sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess

[petitesmafia]

hihi! sry if this is weird or whatevs but what kinda job do you have? Im looking to finally leave my dinky lil retail position but idk what I actually wanna do yet even though im post-college, so I'm rly curious about what othr ppl do and I saw that you were on a business trip at some point which is cool to me! anyways I kno this is random lol absolutely no pressure, ty for reading either way!

hihi! nah it's all good haha i work a corporate job in law! and i travel semi-regularly to attend conferences, etc. (depending on where my attendance is requested haha) ^-^ i worked retail all throughout high school and it fr builds character looool and it's good for developing soft skills! also i became super uncertain on a career path in my second year of uni bc i originally wanted to go into medicine but while getting that degree i was like. this shit is NOT for me lmfao. the job market is pretty shit rn tbh so i say don't rush and try out different things! best of luck to you :)

[7rashstar]

i didn’t rly sleep last night yap sesh below the cut

missed mayday festivities because i am debilitatingly socially anxious but then went camping for a friends bday and felt refreshed by being able to see soooo many stars and be outside…(and go on the most extreme hike of my life dude omfg)

while we were camping my digi cam fell out of my pocket when i laid on the ground to look at the sky and stars and it stormed that night and my camera got destroyed. hoping the sd card is salvageable..

creepy had hella ticks on him (including one thats head got stuck in his uhh..wiener lol) went to the vet got em removed in total there were 8 (!!) that we found. he has so much fur man idk there could be some more on him but at least they’d be dead atp because i ALSO finally got a flea tick preventative that he can take monthly. it’s been impossible to get a vet appointment anywhere, especially at the clinic i’ve been taking him to since he was a bb. praying he didn’t contract anything from the ticks…we’ll get a blood test sometime in september-december

bestie soup told me u could see the northern lights in the city last night + they sent me some pics but i pulled a leg muscle skating n it hurt too bad to waddle over to the overpass (plus there’s been several shootings in my neighborhood the past couple weeks outside my building so i don’t rly like going out at night rn anyway)

yesterday oomf texted the gc n said a friend of a friend asked him where to listen to my music online bc they loved my set :’)) the last time i played a show was the beginning of march!!!! that made me feel rly good so now i have more incentive to finally upload things to soundcloud again. might work on that later today…like. might,…finally post something

he said he sent them a link to my old bandcamp and i forgot i never deleted my music there i only scrubbed my sc so i went over n listened to what i posted. it was kinda cute. in 2020 i started using ableton for the first time consistently and actually tried to figure out how to make stuff w it so everything f from that time is like. ahh. i’d do that so different now!! but at the time i was so proud of myself and that makes me feel kinda fuzzy (in a good way) like noticeable artistic growth yanno? n also knowing that version of myself who was constantly suffering and seeking an End still felt excited abt what i was making. it’s cute. my old self is someone ive made peace w and hold close to my heart in the ‘it’s different now and it’s Awesome’ way like fuck yea lil buddy you got clean and made it out alive. that’s sick

some of my old music goes hard asf too tho. a lot of unreleased stuff on my google drive i dug thru after listening to my bandcamp i don’t even rly remember making but i was like :0 !!

i was up until 5:30am working on a flyer !! i wanna make more flyers!! i miss making flyers. i’m outta practice and using procreate bc i don’t have photoshop anymore so still a newbie on the program front but i think. i did a good job and it looks cool so that’s nice

i rly wanna skate but my leg hurts i feel like that spongebob guy

[heleizition]

DAMN not me being like whos cody and the plot post being like GODS FUCKING CLONE CHILD. tell me everything we love an apocalypse harbinger. also CAIN MY BOI poor baby needs that therapy. also the whole 'and god thought mh well i liked that lets try again'? chefs kiss. I Wish To Know The Past Lives by you categorised as kinda boring THING pls. does cain get a bestie? someone give this man a bigger support and luv system. also vik is a BABY? a former child. A BABY!! also W HA T is that fuckery with jasper tell me absolutely everything please

SHES MY FAVORITE WEIRDO GIRL I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHES HOLY AND BRINGS A RELIGIOUS FLAVOR OF TERROR THAT I. CARE ABOUT <===== guy who was not raised religious at all idk why im so into it

so in the plot post i mentionned there's a memory thing. everyone remembers bits here and there of their past life, and usually demons mostly remembers bad things they did bc thats how u manipulate people into doing more things that are . not good. cody and jasper are the only ones with no memories of past life bc they were created in this realm, and had no past life. she has no idea she's god's soldier, They sent her down there mostly for Their own entertainement and everything she does is her own choice and will, even if god can "feel it" (which is why . they end up sending the whole lil family back on earth . for a chance to be happy. bc they feel cody's happiness.)

for the rest :

past lives ! um ill put lil warnings before. each lives.

Nell & Belly : tw for child abuse, sexual abuse and exploitation, adults not helping like they should lol

Nell and Belly (btw their full names are Nathanel and Anabelle) are born twins, nell just a few minutes before his sister. their mother died at birth which sent their father (an already not . good guy) into deep constant rage and pain . once they grow up a bit . i mean like. 7 or so. theres sexual abuse happening . and beatings. selling out his kids for a night for money. nothing fun. nell and belly get through it together until at like 16 nell (who's like, underfed, short, no muscles) snaps and stabs their dad over and over again .

nell only remembers this, killing his dad, with absolutely no context behind (protecting himself, protecting his sister, freeing them) so he thinks he used to be a Bad person. after that they get placed in the system, ig theres a trial but its ruled as legitime defense, and once they're 18 belly just. vanishes. they both deal very differently with what their whole life was, nell cant go on, can barely support himself, thinks he should have died right then, and belly flees from nell to find . somewhere where she can forget. she regrets it but nell dies before she can reconnect (not sure how, his death isn't rly whats important here,,, im thinking . so numb he can't rly recognize whats around him . walk in front of a car. yeah). belly struggles to have a happy life after that and ... im not sure how she dies yet. im thinking drowning bc its a thing that almost happens in the farm au....

as an angel, she doesnt remember much, because there wasn't much happiness in her life. also these two as twins have a bond that still connect them in angel/demon realm ! so they know the other exist and they remember once they meet !!

eden : tw for transphobia, drugs, suicide, abusive family ?

i'll go short w him bc it's not pleasant and it makes me sad <==== guy who MADE this backstory

eden is trans, always feels out of place as a kid, as a teen. his parents kick him out at eighteen bc they "can" and bc even if eden never said anything, they Know and don't want him in here. he has a friend who helps for a while, until the rumors spread about him being a ~ freak ~ and his friend is like. im sorry my parents cant let u impose in the house. anymore. : /// . eden is lost and desperate and doesn't know what to do, sells himself, gets into drugs to get through the days, finds out the days aren't worht getting through, kills himself. yay

he's one of the few who's always remembered his past fully,,,

LENA lena my BABYGIRL um tw for war mostly

this happens in a fictif medieval era lmao she's the princess of a kingdom, daughter of a kind king and queen, destined to rule, fighting among the army already, everyone loves her, except her small kingdom gets torn apart by another kingdom, not that much bigger, but with much greater military strength. the country gets torn apart before the army, the king and queen can do anything. the enemies arrive to the capital and lena doesn't even ask and joins the vanguard. she uses a sword at this point, get through enemies after enemies, and it looks like there's hope, until one of the enemy's captain reach her. it's a bit of a eowyn versus the nazgul vibe in lotr except lena doesn't win. she's slain, and slowly dies on hte battlefield with her beloved country burning, and the people she swore to protect screaming and dying.

she's very loved. i care her so much. she's my default when idk what to draw :3 she remembers being a loved princess, and slowly remember the last fight. it haunts her, the weight of losing this fight, that she couldn't do more, even if it's from a time long gone.

titania ummmm well theres grooming. witch hunt and betrayal.

i have to research the exact period titania's past happens, but its between late 1400 and early 1600s i think !

she loses her parents very young and thus, is cared for by the local church. there's a priest here who teaches her to use her looks and innocence as a way to get things, information, food, anything. once she's 13/14, he starts showing her the more physical way to do so.

she starts using sex as a way to learn things. she's the person who knows the most about anyone in the village. she's an important figure, one who's gifted things to keep silent, who gives her body in exchange for things to hang up against someone. she hates the priest who made her who she is . she couldn't have been something else, happier, lighter, but she's this, and she's too deep in to just stop.

she's too powerful, she knows too much, and when there's word in the village of a witch inhabiting it, they all turn to her. they have a way to get rid of her and the power she holds over them. she screams what she knows when she's brought to the center of the village, screams her hate of the priest who made her who she is, destroys everyone's nice little life because it cost hers. she dies burning, and everyone chooses to act like they never heard her in her final day.

she's the wise calm one who's actually full of anger and wrath. i love her a lot. there's this french song i love ("a witch like any other") which talks abt . women. women and men treating women like they're granted. and like. its a titania song. if u wanna give it a listen this version is amazing altho it's more powerful if u know french....

VIK UM OKAY not much tw here. it's just fucking sad. im a terrible oc parent. it's also heavily inspired by hell's girl season 3's protagonist past..................... it's basically that tbh SOEJFEFSJS

his mother and him are not allowed in the village. his mother is sick. he doesn't know it, he just follows his mother. she's kind and beautiful, gives him food and tells him stories. he's 4. they can't get in the village and he doesn't know why, so they find dry places in the woods to live. it's fun, it's everything he's ever known. one day his mother doesn't wake up, so he goes to try and find food by himself, to surprise her. when he's back, she's still not awake. she's stiff and cold, so he gives her his blanket and waits. days pass. he's hungry, he's thirsty, he's 5, he doesn't know anything, doesn't know how to go on, the usually places he finds bits of food are empty. it's colder and his mother hasn't moved since that day.

it's snowing. it's pretty. he wishes his mom could wake up and see it but he's starting to think that maybe she won't.

vik dies, age 5, in the forest, cold hungry and alone.

he doesn't remember anything, and his ignorance nd naivety makes him so much easier for noah to manipulate him. she doesn't mean to at first, she sees a child who could use some help, and she's always wanted a child. but they're at war, and sacrifices need to be made.

ABEL AND CAIN'S PAST ISNT CLEAR TO ME RN IM SORRYYYYY SOMETHING ABT ABEL BEIGN A RULER AND CAIN HIS SHADOW WHO KILLS FOR HIM YAGHHHHHH IDK MAN abel slowly remembering that he was a mercyless king who made his people suffer just like hte people he's trying to fight rn,,,,,,,,,,, honey

i don't have much planed for cain in tame of support rn im sowwy.................... i wanna work on it tho.......... i have a lot of secondary charactres that he could fit with...............

noah used to be a cool fearless pirate stealing rich people to give to the poor in her hometown mostly. finding strays and helping them. i love that for her . she was a good guy, a robin hood, and then her devotion to god fucked her up (aka hermit the frog by marina). she jst fights bc she thinks it will bring peace until she learns god was just Bored lol !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't think i forgot anyone ? if i did i am sorry (bows down to my kids)

jasper's thing......................... well. there's always been experiments. trying to find a being Higher. jasper was created in a lab. then he and another kid, angel this time, were fused. the scar is most likely due to this . for the longest time jasper just thought he had a strong inner voice but it's this other kid (no name yet sowwy!!!!!!! im coming up with this on the spot actually which is why i like being asked abt them it makes me THINK). he's the only saved experiment from this. abel and cain had been sent to investigate on a demon who's part of the high council, but who some people thought was shady. he indeed was. they destroyed eveything (u don't toy with life) and found jasper. omg . they both kind of raised him . ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OHHHHHHH

anyway later in the story, belly and him are fighting opponent, belly is cool and strong but she almost dies and well . those two are in love and it makes jasper's inner angel wake up along with some new powers. not sure exactly what!!!! im thinking !!!! ok i gotta go grocery show now BE BACK SOON BC I SEE MORE THINGS IN MY INBOX

[yuukei-yikes]

Here’s a Harutaka ask for you! Do you think they’d get married? If yes what do you think their wedding would be like? Also I hope you feel better soon!

HIII if it isnt the little guy i watched slowly get into kagepro. whatsup. how are u holding up being into kagepro. ALSO THANK U im already a lil better i ate 1 single boiled egg and now im laying in bed

yes haruka and takane 10000% get so married. i have this silly headcanon that haruka is begging her from day 1 to get married because IDK he's just excited about being alive and takane liking him💗💗💗 and maybe he is also terrified of her changing her mind abt liking him and for some reason thinks getting married will solve that feeling of feeling not good enough for her💗💗💗 wait who said that. but takane's all like No haruka we're only like 20 and he's like AUUUUGGGHHH!!! fine

honestly its a hc born from a bit in the novels (im not sure u read them) where haruka says man i wish takane stopped swearing so much she's gonna have a hard time finding a husband💔💔💔 ITS SO FUNNY TO ME idk likeeee since he knew he'd die, he never imagined being an adult at all. this is more in the territory of the early twenties crisis he apparently has post str i guess. which is also hilarious.

i think haruka's like... he thinks of marriage of this weird alien thing bc as a teen he wont even entertain the idea of dating or anything bc HES DYING like he literally shoots down the acknowledgement of his feelings for takane BECAUSE he is dying. he's like man whats the fucking point if im just gonna die this sucks ASS

so marriage. well it's an adult thing. and he turns out to be alive!! and takane REALLY LIKES HIM FOR SOME REASON!!! and he's like WELL WERE ADULTS ARENT WE WHY THE HELL SHOULDNT WE GET MARRIED???? takane's like because we're BARELY adults like BARELY. and also IN SO MUCH NEED OF THERAPY. and haruka's like i dont see how that's related🙄🙄🙄 whatever takane ur such a bore🙄🙄🙄 its just a silly argument they laugh and tease each other about *rips hair out* theyre so CUTE AUGGHHH

yeah they do eventually get married. not IMMEDIATELY though but still probably rly young. like before their mid twenties young. LOL!!! as for a wedding i dont think they'd actually care about one??? because haruka and takane are really introverted ppl and being the center of attention mortifies both. well takane's used to attention bc streamer slay but its not. the same. like that's different BASICALLY i dont think takane would care to throw money in something like this and haruka is also like whatever man just sign the paper so i can officially be ur boywife. they still probably have like a little get together with the dan though. maybe they dont even tell them they're like OH BY THE WAY WE DID SOMETHING FUNNY TODAY wjxnoefuoendoefundkc call shintaro&ayano on the phone like can u come with us to sign as our witnesses. and shintaro and ayano are like WITNESSES OF WHAT? erm. haruka&takane engaged for exactly 14 hours when haruka asks takane to marry him for the millionth time and this time she's like uhhh. yeah alright👍

thats my harutaka wedding hc. that theyre too lazy to have a wedding🫡 ayano mourns it so much she's been like wedding planning her whole life for her siblings. seto&mary get ultra married as soon as theyre 18 im not getting into those hcs i already did but ayano goes so crazy with it. and then haruka&takane are next (tho years later) and ayano's like WH?? BUT IM?? SUPPOSED TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING????? WHAT DO U MEAN U WONT MAKE ONE???? and theyre like 🤷‍♂️ maybe she forces them and she organizes it alone and forces them to kiss in front of everyone and only then stops being annoying. sorry i love crazed wedding planner ayano

[partyinthemysterymachine]

If they married what would their last name be? Two Masons? Sunderlands? I kinda doubt they would double-barrel the surname, cause of Mary. Boy does Munderland sound ridiculous. Imagine if they swapped surnames just to mess with people; someone would call for Mr Mason (hoping for a certain author) then James would just appear. Or maybe they'd just keep their surnames.

..... so i actually rly love talking about this, LOL

bc ACKTSHUALLY, i like to think that they'd go with the hyphenated name - like Mason-Sunderland, in particular. >:3c

tho here and there i've written it in as Sunderland-Mason, and I've actually used only the surname "Mason" for a&s (but also, don't worry about knowing what a&s stands for, bc i promise that it'll only tear ur heart out &lt;;3 RIGHT, @magnolian-gold??? ........ right. >:)))cc) ), but for my own uses and preference, honestly go with the surname Mason-Sunderland. :3c! .. >:3c!

again, i don't post much about it, but Mason-Sunderland is primarily used in the event of -adjacent (an au that is formally called sh-adjacent (as it was in my Notes docs)), and if and when i decide to write some more of my random AUs in which Harry and James are an endgame :3c which there are a lot. .. i have a lot, oh GOD, do i have a lot--

.. but anywhoo: yeah. them's my two cents :3c

hope u enjoyed!! (and i'll add the tags for a&s as well as -adjacent in case u dare to go tag spelunking with this, too >:3c (tho be forewarned for this now-- my "-adjacent" au is NOT GOOMT-compatible, because while it is sort of an offshoot of GOOMT, the timelines and characters have been altered and are NOT the same, with a big, primary difference being that Harry is now trans, and short (demoted to 5'8" 😔 pls pay ur respects in hitting that F in the chat for the poor guy)m and James is, like, well........ Huge. like 6'6" huge. .. yeah. :) and good for him!!!! :3c!)

(and while on that note, too, a&s is also an au that i share with a friend (namely @magnolian-gold, LOL, if it wasn't obvious enough), and contains a LOOOOOOT of Super Sad, And Possibly Triggering Content™️ (such as, including, and not limited to: mentions of self-harm; suicide; grieving and mourning; two men being horribly tragic; and, to top it all off and spin a happier light on the mountain of Hard Things.........: Ridiculous Amounts Of Fluff And Happy Family Hours™️™️ :)!!!)

ANYWHOO. LOL. so YEAH. hope u enjoyed that lil (happy) rant :3c hehe. and idk!! i LOVE the idea that they like to be huge dicks and trolls and swap surnames around, just for the hell of it. i totally imagine that they'd like to be Big Jokesters and fool around with everybody; that's totally in line with what i think their (eventual) marriage would be like >:3c it's really no WONDER where Heather gets her wicked streak, LOL

(tho ok, in addendum: it WOULD be PRETTY FUCKING FUNNY for Harry and James to go with Gail Waters-Waters route and do Mason-Mason or Sunderland-Sunderland (going off ur initial starting comment of Two Masons or Sunderlands), bc that shit would be fucking MINT, LOL!! AAAHHHHH, good times....; and then good times were had by aaaalllll.... >:3ccccccc!!!!)

ANYWAY CHEERS, MATE, AND THANK UUUUU AGAIN SO MUUUUHHHCHHHH ILUUUUUUU~~ 💖💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🥺🥺🥺🙏🥺🥚🥚🥚🥚💖💖💖🥚🥚🥚🥚!!!!

[lovingseventeen]

i have a question and ik it’s kinda weird. But how do u make close friends at school that are comfortable to hang out with? like I have a lot of friends from different friend groups and it’s awkward to hang with all of them at the same time cuz different things that made us friends and one on one is weird cuz it’s like what do we rly do? also like I feel awkward and am kinda socially awkward but I feel i’ve gotten better yk. and idk like it’s hard finding kpop stans who stan my ult group.

and idk I just want advice for it cuz I feel a lil awkward and like I lost my friends that made up a friend group for me cuz we were just toxic for each other like one was shit talking behind my back and they both were talking abt some of my private rants I said to each one of them and I was kinda toxic too. sorry for this being long and kinda uncomfortable/awkward.

hi hi! i’m honestly kind of flattered you trusted me through this account enough to ask this question. i hope my humble opinion can give a little insight, though i am not perfect lol.

first off, i myself am not an extrovert so i understand the struggle to make friends a bit. it’s not so easy to just walk up to anyone and suddenly act like you’re close when you’ve just met. i don’t know how old you are but i’m in college and it’s become significantly harder to make friends just because everyone tends to be much more independent. plus, everyone has their individual majors and schedules they have to work around so it’s less likely that all of our free times line up, you know?

that said, the only way i’ve made friends in college is by going to club events and by luck. i’m fortunate that a lot of my friends and acquaintances were more extroverted than me and they initially started reaching out by a follow on instagram because we all knew we went to the same college. so even if we weren’t super close at the start, we were familiar faces. then this one time i went to a club event i knew one person there and by the mercy of the universe someone saw me standing awkwardly by myself and pulled me into their group! this saved my night even though i was at the brink of leaving the event altogether because i felt so awkward. now i’ve met these faces i’ve only seen online and they’re very lovely people.

as for finding people who like the same kpop groups, once again i could suggest going to a school club because that’s probably where fellow stans will congregate lol. OR if where you live has them, try looking for kpop events! maybe you can get involved in the events in organizing them or vendor in or donating freebies.. i am fortunate enough to live in a city where for certain groups, an event might be hosted for a member’s birthday or the group’s anniversary. sometimes there’s cup-sleeve events in general too. most people now are multi-stans too so even if it isn’t your ult group, chances are someone there will adore your group too. (once, i was talking to my friend at an agust d concert and i mentioned dino and it caught someone near me’s attention very fast!)

this was a bit of a ramble and i really hope this might’ve helped even a little. i know advice tends to be easier said than done but i really do wish you luck in finding some friends with common ground and adoration for kpop. it really is fun to ramble about idols and i have a problem of talking about these idols as if i know them HAHA. if ever, please feel free to reach out anonymously again or even dm me privately if you want too!

hope you have a lovely day and thank you again <3

[wooahaes]

What about a Mingyu single!parent AU ? 👀

ooo... single dad gyu is. clutches chest. it rly doesnt help i've been having baby fever recently for reasons that it admittedly took me a hot minute to realize what they were. but thats not important lol

i feel like theres a lot i can do with single parent aus since i've talked abt a jeonghan one w my moots (holly and livvie if u see this... mwah <3) once (which i'm also happy to talk abt if anyone's curious). for creativity's sake, i'll go with a different plot for single dad gyu <3

gyu is a single dad who has sole custody of his kid for probably undescribed reasons unless i wanna get into it if i write it. he's happy, tho: he loves his daughter more than anything else and is completely happy just working to support her. he usually hires a sitter or asks his friends to watch her if they aren't working that day (some of them like... adore her to the point where gyu whines if they're Too doting bc thats his baby!!! he should be her number 1 person!!! not uncle wonu!!!). hes got stuff figured out. sometimes ppl ask abt him dating again since he's not exactly happy single, but he kinda just insists that he'll be good for now--he'd rather wait until his daughter is a little older.

and then enter you: a new server at the restaurant he works in. his coworker, junhui, immediately realizes that mingyu's a smidge bit smitten within the first few weeks of you working there bc u do ur job well and you're a kind person?? just something abt the combination makes him a lil flustered when interacting with you. mingyu just kinda chalks it up to you being new, but you're the one who helps him wash and bandage a cut when he wasn't watching his fingers once. you end up giving him ur number to talk more, mingyu is painfully oblivious that ur trying to flirt a lil w him since the two of u get along, and he goes home to spend time with his daughter before he has to put her to bed for the night.

about a month or so of very obvious flirting (to everyone But gyu), his daughter gets sick. hes stuck at work, so are pretty much all of his friends, but you're about to leave for the day when mingyu asks you for a huge favor. he'll call the preschool and get everything arranged for you to pick her up (probs by showing ID and confirming ur the person mingyu gave permission to), plus he'll tell you where the spare key is, he just needs you to take her home and watch her for about an hour until his friend can get there. so you agree to it, and he's relieved.

and then he goes home to see you and wonwoo sitting on the couch, talking. you apologize bc you meant to leave waaay earlier but wonwoo was telling u abt college shenanigans (mingyu is like Oh No) and showing you baby pictures (bc wonu is best uncle for a reason) and the two of u just kinda help talking. mingyu panics for a moment, wondering if this means ur into wonu, but wonu kinda pushes him straight into walking you out and making sure u get a cab home and u kinda just. ask him out for coffee, but not explicitly calling it a date.

idk more plot of u and mingyu p much dating and growing closer before mingyu has to recognize he's falling for you. straight up would have a lil convo with his daughter, whos old enough to understand, abt him bringing someone into their lives (maybe w the 'but if they treat you badly, you can tell me' bc they're a package deal and he's not going to be w someone who treats either of them horribly). happy ending of u and gyu in love <3 maybe w a timeskip of you moving in with him and loving the lil family the three of you have become

[xhudgenssistersconfessions]

tbh, idk how to feel.

i hate how ppl are so quick to run with the narrative that z is a manslut lol. the new thing on deuxmoi like?? At this point he should make ppl sign NDA’s like other celebs do bec ppl LOVE to blast his priv life. (As we know, half of Australia is obsessed with his priv life).

Also deuxmoi is HELLA biased towards ppl. Like some ppl are angels in her eyes and she’ll only report stuff that supports her opinion of them and for others she’ll post (even rumours) to support her point about them.

Like remember that girl on the balcony with z - some person said oh she’s this politician and they’re dating and deuxmoi was like yup that’s his gf and we were like uh no she’s not? and even when it was p obvious she wasn’t deuxmoi kept going oh i know for sure he has a gf blah blah. like? idk it was weird.

i mean obviously we don’t know celebs personally AT ALL so we don’t know what’s true or not. it’s just that i always find it hella sus that women report on him ASAP like they almost want smth weird to happen to spread a rumour about? bec if u genuinely wanted to hang out/make a connection u wouldn’t do that? Like there have been a few people who said they had a chance to talk to him for 45 mins just bec they didn’t ask him for a pic or anything just hung out.

but yeah we don’t know anything about celebs. i remem there was an interview with gg and she was like oh v and me we’re both like the female spider, we hook up with men and spit em out. So i mean during the BRIEF time V is ever single who knows what happens. I mean there was that kyle kuzma date (that we were aware of..) but yeah some ppl conceal things much better. Even selena (who everyone watches like a hawk) has been single for ever but she says oh there’s def been relationships/hookups ppl don’t know about during this time. Even taylor swift with matty healy (just cause he’s v odd) etc like even the purest celebs we think of aren’t rly that pure. again ppl can do what they do but i guess we rly don’t know them.

the only thing that made sense was the put ur phones away thing which is def a him kinda thing to do. but the last bit about the 3sum? IDK. also if it happened wouldn’t they say it did… rather than he “asked?” maybe it was like flirtin going wrong idk.

While i will defend him forever, if it’s true i’m like boy get ur shit together. PLZ don’t be another Leo. We want better for u!!!!! sigh. okay rant over lol.

This might be an unpopular opinion but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Zac being a lil hoe. He’s single and he’s attractive. It’d be different if he was in a relationship but he’s not so as long as he’s being safe, I say more power to him

About the threesome part, I know fans don’t want to hear it but I actually believe it. There’s been rumblings of him participating in them for years during his single years. That was probably the least surprising thing (to me) in that Deuxmoi submission. 

[yandere-monoma]

good evening it is 4am and i have writer's block so imma reread one of my fave recent fics and reminisce about having the ability to write lmfao

so WHOO, eat your young: director's commentary:

the fuckin song gets stuck in my head every time i read the title HJGKFGS originally i was stuck between this one or another title from aNOTHER song but i forgot what that song was so note to self: edit this post when i remember LOL

lines like these are ones that potentially make me dissociate to reread HAHAHA. i don't even know if it quite portrays the atmosphere i'm usually referencing with lines like these (there's something about the lighting that accompanies irl traumatic memories for me that i always end up focusing on and trying to allude to in writing even when i'm not necessarily trying to project... being drenched in darkness with only one point of light to focus on... @_@) but idk its tasty and i love how i opened this fic teehee

this opening scene is very much a love letter (and quick summary of) all the FUCKIN stridercest fics i've read throughout the years, like one of the many things i love about any darkfic niche part of fandom is that there tends to be these few locations that everyone settles on and obsesses over for their ships. for todocest it's the dojo, for goyuu its the basement, for a lot of stridercest fics it's bro's couch/futon. i wanted something that was quickly recognizable for anyone who also has been reading their way through the tag like i have HJSKFG

one of those teeny tiny lil motifs that i had fun sprinkling in ghsdjfkg very fun to play with homestuck's use of color motifs and what it could provide for dave in this new context. it's also a reference to the epilogues, which i'm more obvious about when i bring the motif back later:

in the epilogues, there's a few moments where john waxes poetic about the slightly unsettling environment of earth c

and the thought of that drove me crazy. earth c and the way it's supposed to represent this unfitting paradise that's just a little bit wrong and a little too perfect and the way that perfection grates at you when you start to notice it. i love the metaphor of paradise being uncomfortable because of all the trauma and grief and fighting that preceded it. rly reminds me of how hard it is irl to adjust to happiness and love and comfort after being abused and hurt for so long 😩😩😩

don't even ask me where the bro drinks hibiki hc came from but it's something i carried over from the brorose pornverse because ~consistency~

nothing to say besides being proud of this LOL

...

...

...

man i have such a love/hate relationship with writing dave dialogue and by that i mean i hate it cuz i never think it's enough LMFAO. i envy anyone who can adopt homestuckian humor and wit easily because i can Not. like i try my best but just know every second i gotta write this idiot talking i'm screaming in agony and bleeding out my ass about it internally JHKFGS

wonder if i'd feel differently if his dialogue was in the pesterchum fonts tho...

CRAZY how much i like that better HAHAHFGKSDFG

one day i'll do a fic where the dialogue is done like the epilogues but until then i suffer and die every time i have to use proper grammar for dave's speech, anyway,

ANYWAY john being a terrible parent is one of the sexiest things that has ever been done with his character i'm so thankful for it godjskfgsdfg and i love thinking about dave's misplaced guilt on the matter. "You want to be on your best friend's side for this, sure, bristling with the instinct to defend him, but you can't commit to it. The sad kid in front of you, put out and missing his father's love, that's who has all your sympathy right now." dave being unable to keep from projecting onto harry from the start, unable to keep from instantly empathizing with the child's point of view in this scenario (partially because he can't unsee himself as anything but an abused child even despite his growing age) and immediately feeling himself distancing emotionally from john at the thought that he could be anything like bro as a guardian.

it's actually a shame i didn't rly get a chance to elaborate on this further because i think there's a lot of fun to be had with thinking about dave's reactions to john's parenting from this point on, like... GOD. when john tried to kidnap tavvy as a kid???????????? feel like that's a fucking GOLD mine of possibly triggering ammo against dave's psyche goddamnit

if harry didn't change the subject here, he would have started bashing john for his drinking habits and canon tendency to traumadump on him while drunk HJSKFG he's made harry incredibly uncomfortable more than a few times doing this and i think it's definitely made an impression on him, but harry decides not to because he doesn't want to do the same thing to dave. he also doesn't want to remind dave that they're doing anything 'bad' here

writing shit like this into a story rly is just for the purpose of practicing interiority in characterization hehe. i feel like it's also a side effect from writing for theatre, trying to mimic as many naturalistic structures of dialogue as possible. fun to fit in tangents that just never really get answered or directly referred to

THE WAY THERE WAS NO ROOM TO TALK ABOUT DAVEJADE FAILED MARRIAGE BUT GOD I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT DAVEJADE FAILED MARRIAGE SO BAAAAAAAD tfw you spend all your free time hanging out with teenagers to avoid having sex with your loving wife

...

this part of the fic is fun because originally this idea came from a discord convo

and it is SO FUCKING FUN to write prose around someone else's dialogue and thoughts 10/10 will recommend

it's especially fun too because all of dave's thoughts and dialogue from around this point on is mostly outlined by my friend, so it was so fun getting to work their insights and characterization into my own interpretation of his character

...

the build-up where dave and harry start snuggling drives me fucking crazy every time like every time i reread this bit i'm always biting on my knuckles and screaming goddamnit goddamnit dirty wrong awful intimacy that suddenly overwhelms you and crushes you and you don't even notice the way you're dissociating from your every action but you aRE

originally this paragraph was also supposed to have a davejade mention but i just couldn't figure out how to make the thought flow well with everything else. originally there was supposed to be something about the way he always shrinks away from jade's touches, how they always make him feel worse and feel colder than he did before she'd tried, but yeah... didnt fit... and ultimately i think the fic is stronger as is. jade being an afterthought that only vaguely gets talked around feels very ic for candy dave anyway HJGFK and rly everything that he feels towards her is more just a side effect of everything he's suffered by bro's hands. no need to focus on his discomfort about jade when his discomfort about harry is more than enough

that being said every time i remember everything i had to omit i WAAAAAAIL

"Syrup clogs your throat. Your throat burns dully, your tongue feeling heavy with that leftover numbing weight of sugar and liquor." lines i cant reread without rly badly craving booze

literally the biggest challenge of this fic was the fact that its secretly a johndave/daveroxy/daverose fic HAHAHGFJG like trying to balance the fact that one of dave's biggest driving forces when it comes to his attraction to harry is that he's just been hosting a million and one ultimately unrequited crushes all his life that he's now projecting forward and trying to showcase that without drawing tOOOOOOOO much attention away from the other main driving force (brodirk and the incest fetish he'd instilled in him)... so sooo hard to balance but i like to think i did a decent job

'let him escape this feeling like he might still be a good person' is such a fucking good line/thought/sentiment that i'm so upset i had no room for cuz it's so good HJGKFSGS who knows maybe one day i'll be able to figure out a way to squeeeeeeze it into an edit cuz god knows i still tweak this and all my fics every now and then

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love this part... go off past ricky... do find it funny tho that i was ~vibing~ so hard with the prose that i forgot dave's canon ages just a tad HAHA shhhh

these are some of my favorite kisses i've ever written goddamnit

literally the funniest and most inspiring words my writing partner has ever said like LEGEND... it was this phrase specifically that made me drop everything and start writing this fic cuz i KNEW i needed to slap that onto the summary pls JGKLFSG

(Did you ever have a chance? Did he?)

i feel obligated to speak on this line because it's like. one of the huge major themes of the fic HJSKDFGSFG the inevitability of dave continuing a cycle that he's been trying to avoid. really, what can i say, though. this fic follows a timeline that's alluded to but still has yet to be written out (and who knows if i ever actually will write it out, i'm kinda just updating this fic series based on impulses) where dave moves on to project all his trauma with bro onto dirk after they win the game. i love the thought of them trying their best to keep up the brother routine before dave's need to retraumatize himself and dirk's own fucked up inclinations results in them becoming sexually involved. like, honestly, i could go on forever about dirkdave and the ways they make each other better and worse but yeah. the second dave gave into that self destructive urge, he was done. and it's something that bled into his marriage, that bled into his inability to rly engage with karkat, that fed on his ability to be his own person and work on his own recovery. dirk died and the universe went stagnant and with it, dave's ability to grow out of the mold he was forced into by bro

so yeah. he's already at this huge disadvantage. and while this fic focuses on dave's perspective, there's a lot to be said about harry's mindset as well. the way he's egging this on, the way he's encouraging it, the way he's trying to poke into any sort of vulnerability that dave may or may not have. the way he wouldnt quite have the words to pinpoint and identify shit like emotional incest or grooming but he can see that there's something wrong and exciting about what they're doing that he wants to take part in. being set up to failure because of john's neglect, already thinking he's more mature than he is because of it, perhaps knowing just a bit too much about romance and sex because of whatever weirdass confessions about his own relationships john had unwittingly given him. not to mention his feelings for dave and the way he makes him feel like they're equals and the way he gets attention and affection freely from him without really having to fuss and fight for it like he does with vrissy.

so yeah. these two were doomed from the start 😌💙

'That saccharine sear of shame that washes over you then only makes it worse. You can’t fucking believe you’re popping a boner ten seconds into a make-out session.'

so like, i wrote this before getting deep into the show succession and thank god cuz this def would have turned into a ramble about how dave probably was completely unable to get it up during sex with jade. that absolutely was the case because i like to think that dave really is just hardwired into having rly bad sexual hang-ups where his body is just so conditioned to react to a lack of consent and boundaries and an abundance of incest but now thanks to my intimate knowledge of roman roy i also know now that dave occasionally (frequently) has rly bad erectile dysfunction in the face of anything '''healthy'''. thanks a lot succ

this isn't where the wordplay starts but it's where a good amount of it is HJGKFG i feel like 'bro' is a silly word to use in big deep serious prose sometimes HAHAH so my reluctance to use it here is part of why this wordplay started but the other reason is because i have a BIG stylistic thing(tm) about playing with pronouns and names and what omitting them can do for the narrative. blurring bro and dirk by refusing to name them but letting their actions speak for which splinter is being referred to was a very fun experiment (though, perhaps less successful than other iterations of mine where i did this same sort of pronoun play... OH WELL they cant all be perfect)

mentally dave switches from aggressor to aggressor. this possessive need to destroy harry starts to bleed in, inspired by bro and what he'd done to dave and what he'd taught him of sexuality and domination. a part of him resists that, reminding him of the terrifying impact of it all, the horror of initiating and acting on a fucked up desire, and then he switches to dirk, projecting that forward instead. dirk, who he is currently choosing to see more as a victim, who was just trying to help dave as he pushed and pushed at him. it's simultaneously a moment where he can start to blame harry just a little bit about what's happening instead of himself (because harry keeps pushing, he keeps begging to do this, he thinks it's what he wants and dave is just helping him because he doesn't feel he has a choice) and it's a moment where he finally puts himself in dirk's shoes and realizes (fears) that maybe dirk didn't want this as much as he might have acted. that dirk had likely gone through a similar internal conflict that started to kill him inside.

'Jade tries, but something about her touch disgusted you.' IT WAS SUCH A STRUGGLE TO FINALLY MENTION HER LMFAOHSDJFKG such a relief... altho the line after this one rly kicked my ass i could not figure it out for the longest time hjskdfgsg jadey i love you im so sorry

this was an interesting divulgence from the original thought:

which i couldnt rly fit in especially with how balls deep we're into dave's thoughts at the moment but i love it

this line is so stupid HAHAJFGSFG its so funny to me. its a shoutout to me realizing halfway through the initial outline that they're actually half brothers instead of JUST uncle/nephew AND it's a reference to this specific incest joke in the epilogues

(the way harry is there to witness this moment and also say the word incest right after dave... a ship made for mE)

i love this sequence so much i'm so proud of it like FUCK

some of my friends have started to use this line as a copypasta now and it cracks me the FUCK up every time they do HJSKFDGSDF

generally, whenever i write stream of consciousness fics, i'm always building up and waiting for the moment where the stream suddenly goes off track. there's always gonna be a super fun part where i get to just ramble out a bunch of run-on sentences and hopefully even format them in a fun absolutely-inspired-by-poetry way. and i can't stress enough how fucking SATISFYING it is to get there and have it come out (almost) exactly how you thought it would whee

THOUGHTS THAT GOT LOST BUT GOD HARRY CRACKS ME UP... and i love that part of john's personality... and i love the way it unknowingly grates on dave hjsdfg he definitely has a very clear image of victimhood and the way harry doesn't fit into that mold drives him fucking crazy.

one of my favorite parts of dave's unreliable narration, him projecting onto dirk because of his own guilt. it's the only way he can really bring himself to admit that, in that moment, after everything he's done, he's immediately feeling suicidal and bereft with his guilt on the whole situation.

i mention this in a comment as well but i love to think about ult dirk and dirk's internal corruption of his own character. i think it's a fun chicken or the egg scenario, trying to decide if dirk was still himself when he allowed dave to seduce him into this, if dirk's guilt helped guide him into his eventual instability, or if that instability is what lead to him acting on his incestuous urges. did his actions lead to him being labeled a villain, or did he decide to prove his villainy by lashing out?

and it is VERY fun to have this be something dave had done, knowing that in the future, he will be guided into his own metaphorical and literal suicide, abandoning a life he's more than ready to run away from =u= and the cycle continues nyehehe

final thoughts that may or may not be used in a future fic (i'm the black):

what the hell is wrong with harry in d e e d... stares at john

[tequatls-favorite-spoon]

man i gotta figure out what to do with juyun :/ he’s one of my absolute fave ocs but his gw2 version is kinda boring which makes me sad! also here is a couple pics of him bc i know that helps me to remember what character ppl are talking about lol

so like, og juyun is the god of beauty in his world, and him being a literal god while eless is Just Some Guy, is something i try to keep the vibe of in most aus i make. so eless is a charr, and i made her from the olmakhan bc her family, and her decision to leave her family, is also important to her character. meanwhile, juyun is a norn in the order of whispers. and like, that’s all i gave him?? and like, there is the fact that he’s from mainland tyria and eless has been relatively isolated her whole life, that sort of fits their dynamic, but i want juyun to be more special 🥺 he’s my special little beautiful boy 🥺

so like, i have three ideas rn. i ended up rambling a bit, so here’s a quick list: juyun becomes aurenes champion/branded by aurene, juyun is actually a saltspray dragon, or juyun is an avatar of lyssa (could also be an avatar of a spirit of the wild, but idk which one)

the rest of my thoughts and rambles are below the cut

first is that he gets branded by aurene. the vibes fit him SO well, like god!juyun literally has opalescent skin, so aurene crystals are sooooo perfect for him. the issue tho, is idk why he’d be branded. like, i could go the route of him being aurene’s champion, but then i’d have to figure out who the commander is. i wouldn’t want it to be onyx cuz they’re from different stories for me? so it’s like. they shouldn’t know each other. having eless be the commander would be So Good, bc that lets me have them interact a LOT and i Love Them. but then i have to deal with the fact that she’s from elona so idk how she’d get to mainland tyria at the right time to become the commander :/ like, it could work? but it would almost be easier to make her from the legions, and that doesn’t feel right to me…

my second idea is that juyun could be a saltspray dragon! i like this bc the color scheme and vibes fit him really well, and bc he’s literally meant to be (half?) korean, so him having a direct link to cantha is cool. like, norn can be asian and stuff, but it’s mostly just looks at that point? anyway, the issues i run into here is that idk if all saltspray dragons can shapeshift? like there’s kuunavang/navan obvi, but idk about the others? and i don’t know a ton about the saltspray dragons in general, tho i think that’s just bc there’s not a lot to know? i also then have to decide if he left cantha, bc if he didn’t, then he and eless meet WAY late in the story. and if he DID leave, then i gotta figure out how, when, and why he did.

my last idea is that maybe he’s like. an avatar or something? i thought about him being linked to one of the spirits of the wild, but idk what one it would be, yknow? but then he could be an avatar of one of the six? like, he is sooo similar to lyssa! he’s literally a mesmer and i already associate him with illusions, glamours, and masks. the only issue here is that idk why he’d be here. like. i looked into avatars on the wiki a lil bit, but i still feel like i don’t know enough >:/

honestly, i think both the saltspray dragon and avatar ideas are stopped only by the fact that i don’t feel like i know enough. i think a lot of that is cuz i didn’t play gw1? (technically i played the free trial cuz my cousin played it, but that doesn’t really count) then again, i could always just. make stuff up. i can fill in blanks with whatever hand-wavey stuff i want! except that i’m rly indecisive lol and i like having characters like this be as canon-compliant as possible :(

returning to juyun as aurenes champion though, i think it might work the best? like, eless could have left the olmakhan and elona during the personal story. maybe juyun does the like, 10-50 story, and then eless shows up as part of the priory? and eless becomes the commander, and juyun is just like, there to help out. and then with lws2, maybe they split up? so juyun goes after the egg, while eless does something else? then again they don’t need to split up i think, cuz aurene could still just choose juyun.

so like, i think champion!juyun would be the easiest to figure out, but then his ‘special-ness’ takes a while to happen. saltspray!juyun gives him ties to cantha, but idk if it makes sense for there to be another saltspray dragon that can transform, and that he’d want to look like a norn. avatar!juyun is the most similar to his og version, but idk a lot about the gods and their avatars, and it being so similar might be a lil boring.

mm i think i might be leaning towards champion tbh, with saltspray dragon coming in second for now