#idk what the hell is goin on with him lately aside from the obvious depressive episode from bein locked up

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

Ok so. I didn't stay away. For like at all. But it's fine.

I did take the meds, finish my phone games, watch a video. Told him I'd consider comin over for the night if he's not gonna be mad at me for not bein there already n if he actually listens to what I want/don't want. Then ignored all the "is that so" "you're getting awfully bold with this current situation" texts til he finally agreed. So even if I know him playin nice again isn't gonna last, I'm gonna give myself the credit for stayin a lot stronger on this than I have before. It's really really hard.

Was ready to bolt in case he'd been lyin but he wasn't mad. Plus he said it gets so boring bein in there all day that he just wanted to see me, cause it's the only thing that breaks the monotony. So I guess he might've actually been cool with not gettin any.

(Appreciated the way I try to wear somethin a lil different every time, too, to give him some variety in at least somethin. I know he likes how I'm always tryin to make him happy but I wanna actually hear it sometimes too. I sustain myself 90% on praise (the rest is sugar))

I was tryin to be sleepin over two hours ago but...I guess there's no rush. Should be able to sleep soon. I hope.