#idk what else to tag this...it's not really miluca but its miluca-adjacent

[haloud]

maria and liz, 1x13

This scene has been a bit of a contentious one for a number of reasons, and there are a number of conversations worth having about it. But one thing that jumped out at me upon a rewatch is that the feeling among some of us that the scene has liz “choosing sides” within the love triangle isn’t actually the case at all.

The scene starts with Liz coming in and flopping over on her friend, complaining about not wanting to be an adult for a while, to which Maria hums in grim agreement and takes a drink. Then they talk for a bit about Maria’s necklace, which leads to Maria saying that Michael fixed it and now it mostly makes her think of him, which devolves into her confessing that she’s developed feelings for him. Liz says “oh my god!!” a lot, Maria tells her to stop, because Alex is in love with him.

Liz immediately pulls back and repeats “That’s...a lot” several times.

The very next thing she says is “Have you talked to Alex?”

Maria has continued to drink through this whole conversation. She replies, with her voice kind of choked up and conflict all over her face:

And then Liz says:

Hey. You can’t choose who you fall for. Love is scary--if we could choose, we wouldn’t fall at all, and...whats the fun in that? You can’t be guilty of something you can’t control.

Liz’s voice throughout is encouraging, but it’s not happy. Particularly on “what’s the fun in that,” she sounds almost sarcastic, begrudging. Liz’s own experience and the difficulty loving max has put her through over the course of the season, the way she’s both opened herself up to love and the way she describes loving max as teetering on the edge of a cliff, it’s all coloring what she says here. It isn’t as easy as one friend giving another a pep talk. It’s way heavier than that.

And immediately after, Maria swallows, whispers “Yeah,” and looks away. This is the closest she gets to a smile.

She’s trying, trying to accept Liz’s support, but the guilt she’s feeling can’t be talked away in one conversation. Nor is Liz telling her to “go for it,” to pursue Michael regardless of Alex’s feelings. Both of them recognize the difficult pressure the situation puts on their friendship. Maria is thinking of Alex when Liz walks in. Alex is the first thing Liz brings up when Maria confesses to her. No one here is trying to pick sides. All Liz is saying is that drowning in guilt isn't a healthy or helpful way to deal with the situation, or fair to herself. And she’s right.

I can imagine a scenario where Liz talks to Alex and says basically the same thing. Where he confesses to her that he pushed away the guy he loves, and that guy has started developing feelings for maria. And liz says "that's a lot. have you talked to maria?" and alex says "no, i can't, what right do i have to get in the way of her happiness, im too full of regret and what ifs and guilt" and liz says "hey, everyone makes mistakes, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. You can’t control who you love.”

Liz isn’t taking sides. She cares about both her friends, the conversation is just naturally weighted toward who she’s talking to in the moment.

And Maria stays consistent—later, when Michael comes to the Pony, she’s happy to see him (because he makes her feel cared for! Who wouldn’t be?) but still conflicted. They kiss, but after a few seconds she pulls back a little and says “We really need to…” and he knows she’s about to say “talk” and shuts the conversation down by going to play guitar.

Maria cares deeply about Alex. Whatever your feelings regarding if she’s being “selfish” by falling for Michael and kissing him despite knowing Alex’s history with him, it’s just a canon fact that Alex’s feelings have been constantly on her mind since she learned of them. When she tells Liz that her necklace makes her think of Michael now, she isn’t happy about it, she’s upset. She’s drinking, close to tears, having to drag out the words because she’s being torn up by them. Liz sees this, and tries to comfort her by reminding her that emotions like love are out of our control—not by telling her “fuck Alex, get your man.” Liz isn’t always the greatest friend, but she loves deeply and tries her best even when her nature makes her miss her friends’ emotional needs sometimes. She wouldn’t throw Alex over like that.

I’m no fan of love triangles, but if we’re being faced with one, I prefer one where the characters involved act like adults, and that’s what’s happening in this scene. Don’t bottle things up; communicate with your friend about your feelings and his. It may hurt, but no one is at fault for feelings they can’t control, and talking about it now is better than letting it fester. I hope we see more of this going forward until the love triangle plot is finally behind us.