#idk what band is on tonight i hope they're good | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

avatar-anna · 2 years ago

Note

Aaaah i am so deep in my Harry feels and you write him so perfectly…

So i have a request !

Something i cannot get out of my mind are the lines from as it was “Answer the phone, "Harry, you're no good alone why are you sittin' at home on the floor?What kind of pills are you on?" … and maybe the reader just got home and she’s the one saying that to Harry? Idk …

Anyway i love how you write ❤️ stay golden !

Grief Fic, Part One

so, this turned into a really long fic that's full of angst (perhaps too much). part of me wanted to make it even longer, but i think i ended it at the right point where i could come back to it if people wanted me to.

Part Two

tw: mentions of death, depression, grieving

"Harry? You here?" you called, walking across the threshold of your friend's house. Looking down, you ruffled the hair of the little girl who came in with you. Her hands gripped the straps of her backpack as she skipped into the house, clearly not bothered by the band-aid on her knee or the cut beneath it.

She looked around and called out for her dad, who either didn't hear it or couldn't find it on him to respond. When the skip in her step faltered and a look of confusion and hurt began to creep onto her face, you helped her out of her backpack and said, "Why don't you go upstairs, kiddo? Change out of your uniform? We can decide what to do for dinner after. Your pick."

You hoped that the distraction of getting to pick what they ate for dinner tonight would be enough, but she still seemed rather subdued compared to how cheery she sounded as she talked about her day at school on the drive home. "Okay."

She scurried off to her room upstairs, leaving you alone in the big kitchen that hardly got used anymore. When the young girl was gone, you called out to Harry again, stepping further into the house. You eventually found him in his studio, but he wasn't working.

"Jesus, H. I can't leave you alone for five minutes," you muttered, picking the bottle of whiskey off the floor and screwing the cap back on before setting it on a high shelf where he wouldn't think to reach for it.

Harry himself was sitting on the carpeted floor of his studio, staring blankly at nothing in particular. This wouldn't be the first time you found him in a similar state, but each time you hoped it would be the last.

"Is Harper alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, she's upstairs," you said.

"Thank you for picking her up again today," he said, still not looking at you.

You sat down next to him, draping your arms over your knees as you crossed your legs together. "No problem. I knew you were supposed to be working today, which leads me to my next question. Why are you sitting in here alone? I thought today was a writing session?"

"Cancelled. Didn't feel up to it today."

Harry didn't feel up to much of anything these days. It was understandable, to an extent. You knew he was going through a lot, but it wasn't just him he had to look out for. Harper needed her dad, now more than ever.

"Was it...anything in particular?" you asked gently. Sometimes Harry got cagey when you asked him about his current situation. He would snap or get defensive or ignore you completely. You'd known him for so many years, but in the span of a few months, you had to relearn how to talk to him. "Yesterday you seemed excited to work."

Harry shrugged, which drew your attention to his narrow shoulders. He hasn't been eating, you thought. You quickly scanned his face, and looking past the obvious unkempt facial hair and dark circles, you noticed his features were more pronounced, eyes sunken in some. You thought he was doing better, you thought he was healing.

"Harry," you said when he didn't respond.

Ever so gently, you rested a hand on his arm. His skin was cold as ice, and pale. So unlike the warmth and sunny glow it used to carry. The person in front of you was a shell of the man he once was, and you didn't know how to bring him back.

"Do you know what kind of pills you're on? If they're not working, the doctor can prescribe something else," you said.

"It's not the pills," he murmured. "I just...I just don't know how to function without her."

So you're not taking them, you thought but didn't say. Instead, you gave Harry's hand a gentle squeeze. "I know."

"I don't want to function without her. I—I can't do anything else but exist, and even that's exhausting."

Harry's voice was heavy with emotion, his eyes downcast as he stared at the band around his finger.

You were aware of the dangerous waters he was wading into, and the pressure to keep him from drowning suddenly crushed your chest. You'd already said all the typical platitudes—it'll get better with time, she wouldn't want you to live like this, Harper needs you. Sometimes they were enough to get him out of the house or to sit down on the couch with Harper to watch a movie, but it would only last so long, and recently Harry's mood improvement would dwindle faster and faster. You did what you could to help by taking care of Harper and checking in on Harry everyday, but he was starting to scare you.

"Daddy?"

Your head whipped around to where Harper was standing by the door of the studio. At eight years old, she looked just like Harry with bright green eyes and dimpled cheeks and curly hair. But she looked like her mother too, and though it was nearly imperceptible, you saw the bob of Harry's Adam's apple when he looked at her.

"Hi sweetheart," he said, not standing up to go over to her.

Harper waited by the door, waiting for Harry to do more. To ask about her day or tell her about his or go over to her or something. But he didn't, like he was too exhausted to move.

"Can we—Can we go to the park? The sun is still out and I finished all my homework."

"Y/n can take you," Harry said.

"Or we can watch a movie? Or—"

"Harper, I think Dad is tired. Why don't we—"

"He's always tired!" Harper said suddenly. "He never wants to spend time with me or talk to me! Why are you acting like this!" She went over to Harry and began to shake his shoulders, her cheeks red and eyes imploring. "Wake up! Wake up!"

Harry didn't do anything at first, letting his daughter shake him and pound her fists against his chest. Your eyes welled with tears and your throat tightened as you watched, caught between pulling Harper off and letting her get her emotions out, half hoping it would stir something in her father. It didn't.

"I hate you! I want mom!" she finally said when Harry was still practically catatonic.

He said nothing, but you could see the tears in his eyes as she stormed off, flinching when he heard the door to her room slam two floors up. His shoulders shook of their own volition then, accompanied by tears and sobbing.

"She didn't mean it," you said, pulling him into your chest. Harry's grip was tight despite his lack of nourishment as he continued to cry, warm tears bleeding through your shirt. "She's dealing with this too."

"I don't know how to be what she needs," he sobbed. "I don't think I can."

Your heart broke for the two people you loved most in this world. You'd tried so hard to help Harry and Harper, to take care of her while he got back on his feet. But he hadn't, and now you felt like you were standing at a crossroads.

"I think it might be time to—" you stopped, getting choked up yourself, "to maybe go somewhere."

That got his attention enough to stop crying for a moment. "Go somewhere?"

"I've...looked into a couple places," you said gingerly. "Facilities. Where you can rest and get better and meet with grief counselors and groups. Get the help that you need, you know?"

When Harry's wife died, you obviously didn't expect him to bounce back right away, but you also didn't anticipate the state he was in now. Everyone grieved differently, you knew that, but his grief was all-consuming, slowly eating away at him and leaving him hollow. You did what you could to support him and Harper, but you had your own life, your own job, which was starting to become less and less understanding every time you left early to pick Harper up from school. You did it all happily and willingly because you loved both of them, but none of you could keep going like this.

"I'm not sick," he said. "I'm not an addict. I don't need to go to rehab."

"I love you, H, and I'm worried about you," you said. You put your hands on either side of his face so he had to look you directly in the eye. "Harper loves you, and she wants you to be her dad. You have so many people that love and care for you, Harry, and we all want you to be okay again."

"My wife died, Y/n. I'm never going to be okay again," he said, pulling away from you harshly, voice sharp. "How can you say that? You really think it's so easy? The mother of my child is gone, and she can never come back, and you what? You want me to just forget about her? Forget what we had? I bet you'd love that wouldn't you. That's probably why you've been so eager to 'help' Harper and me. Don't think for one second that you could ever replace her. So just go!"

It didn't matter that you knew this outburst was one of rage filled grief, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. You felt like you'd been slapped, like Harry had reached his hand into your chest and crushed your heart. That was never your intention. Harry was a friend, a dear one, but a friend just the same. And Harper was your goddaughter. You couldn't just sit by and let the two people you considered family fall apart.

But maybe you weren't who he needed.

"I know you think you'll never be okay again, but you will," you said quietly. "Because you love Harper, you will be. One day you'll stop resenting her for not being Sophia, and one day you'll stop resenting Sophia for leaving you. It'll always hurt, I know that, but one day it'll hurt a little less."

You stood up from the floor and smoothed your trousers, sniffling a little. Harry had gone back to staring blankly, but the tight clench of his jaw told you he was listening. "Bye, H."

You didn't leave right away. You made a phone call to his mom first, asking her to stay with Harry and Harper, not explaining why you couldn't be the one to check up on them anymore. Anne had asked you to keep an eye on the pair after she went back home after staying at Harry's place for a month. You'd already planned on doing so, but you agreed. Now the tough love needed to come from someone else. When Anne told you she was on her way, you went upstairs to Harper's room to check on her.

She was crying on her bed, her body curled into a ball around a stuffed animal. Sighing, you walked over to her and sat on the corner of her bed and soothed her back with your hand. "I know you didn't mean that, Harper Rose."

"Why is he acting like that?" she cried, not looking up at you. "Why won't he play with me anymore? Or take me to school?"

"He..." You didn't even know what to say to make this better. "Your dad is...sick."

"Like my mom was?" Harper asked. She sat up, her little face red from crying.

"Not—Not quite," you said, trying not to get choked up. Sophia had been a dear friend to you too. "His heart hurts so much that he can't, or doesn't know how to...function properly. Does that make sense?"

Harper nodded as she wiped a tear from her eye. "He's heartbroken."

"I think so."

She didn't say anything for a minute, as if she was processing that information about Harry. Then, "Does that mean I love my mom less if I'm not heartbroken like that?"

Her words made you pinch your arm to hold back your tears. It wasn't fair to Harper that she had to deal with all of this at a young age; she didn't deserve to have these thoughts or ask these questions, and selfishly, a part of you deep down felt you didn't deserve to answer them.

"No, of course not, kiddo. Your dad just—you and your dad loved her differently. And I think part of him is sad that you lost your mom and not just that he lost his wife."

"I don't understand," she said, her voice trembling. "When will he be normal again?"

"Do you think you'll feel normal again?" you asked her gently. Harper shrugged, more tears silently leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "People's hearts and minds react differently when someone dies. And right now, your dad's mind is telling him not to get out of bed or take care of himself or take care of you. It doesn't make sense to you or me, but it makes sense to him."

"Oh." Harper looked contemplative again, her eyes trained on the yellow patterned bedspread beneath her. Everything in her room was some shade of yellow—walls, curtains, lampshades, the sun behind the bedframe that Sophia painted—everything was made to feel warm and inviting. "What do we do now? How do we help him?"

"Well, what do you do when you're sick?"

"Go to a doctor."

"That's right," you said. "He's gonna go to the doctor, and the doctor will tell us what we should do. And in the meantime, you just keep loving your dad, okay? You're allowed to be angry and frustrated and sad, but never stop loving him. It might not look like it, but knowing you love him helps."

"Okay," Harper said.

"I called your grandma. She's gonna come stay with you for a little while while your dad gets better. She'll take you to school and pick you up and make you all sorts of treats with you."

"Why can't you take me to school?" she asked.

"I have to work," you explained. "But, if you need anything, you know my number. Just call me and I'll be there, okay? But you and Grandma will have fun, you always do."

You stayed in Harper's room until she fell asleep, smoothing her hair with your hand once more before standing up from the bed. You planned to stay until Anne arrived, but you figured you could tidy up and get the guest bedroom ready in the meantime. By the time she walked through the door, the guest room had been made up and the kitchen was squeaky clean. Harry never came out of his studio, or he went up to his room without you noticing but you were fine with that. You wouldn't have known what to say to him anyway.

You gave Anne the names of doctors and grief groups for Harry, and the name of a good child psychiatrist for Harper. You'd been meaning to set up a meeting for her, but you hadn't had the time, and it also wasn't really your place and you didn't want to overstep. Anne gave you a long hug before you left, thanking you for taking care of her family. Having someone hug you for once instead of the other way around was overwhelming, and you almost started crying right there in her arms.

But you held yourself together for a few more minutes as you pulled away. You promised to check in and help wherever and whenever you could, then you left, slightly relieved that Harry and Harper's well-being wasn't solely on your shoulders anymore and partly sad that you weren't able to help them more.

The first few weeks, you didn't come around the house as much, giving Harry his space. You met Harper at the park when your work schedule allowed it and had her over to your place for sleepovers when she asked.

Anne kept you in the loop, even when there wasn't much to report—Harper met regularly with a counselor and Harry didn't, Harper didn't wake up crying in the middle of the night as much and Harry still wasn't going back to work. Part of you felt like Harry needed more tough love than coddling at this point. You knew he wouldn't actually go to therapy unless you dragged him by the ear or eat something if you didn't sit with him until he was done. But it wasn't your place to dictate how he was helped, so you kept your mouth shut whenever Anne said he wasn't getting any better.

However, that all changed when Harry collapsed. He was so weak from not eating, he physically couldn't hold himself up. Or so Anne claimed. You didn't want to, but part of you thought there might have been some intention behind Harry's actions, or lack thereof. That was when you knew things had to change. If this were a movie, then that moment was the point of no return, and you weren't going to let Harry destroy himself anymore.

"If you get him in a car, I'll take care of the rest," you said to Anne the day after. She'd been apprehensive, but you insisted that this was the right choice. "He can't just sit alone on the floor of his studio all day. Either we do this now or his grief wins."

So it was settled. You didn't know how she did it, but Anne somehow got Harry up and in the passenger seat of your car. He clearly was not pleased by the whole thing, but with his lack of eating, he was no match for you or his mother.

"Where are we going?" he asked, arms folded angrily.

"My place."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to let Harper witness your path of self-destruction. You wanna die? You don't want to take care of yourself? Then you can do it at my place instead of in front of your daughter."

It was harsh, but Harry hadn't been particularly amicable these last few days. According to Anne, instead of catatonic, he was rude, his words sharp as a knife and just as cutting. His mother didn't deserve to deal with that, and neither did Harper, but you could handle him. Whether he liked it or not.

"Fuck you," he muttered.

"Fuck you," you replied simply.

Harry didn't say anything else the rest of the ride to your house, which was completely fine by you. You had a plan in place for Harry's stay, but you went over it again and again in your head, hoping it would work. You had Harry's meds, which he had not been taking, you picked out a grief group for him to attend, or one-on-one counseling if he didn't want to go to group therapy, you worked out a schedule that made sure Harry was constantly doing something rather than withering away on your couch. But first...

"You need a shower. I'm not living with you while you smell like that. And brush your teeth too."

"I thought you didn't care what I did," he said, begrudgingly following you into your house. It was much smaller than his, but that was for the better. It would be easier to keep an eye on him in close quarters.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry. We all care about what happens to you," you said, leading him down the hall to your small guest room and bathroom were.

You gestured toward the bathroom when he set his small duffle bag on the bed, but he stayed where he was. "No."

"No?"

"You and my mum can drag me around and make me sleep in a different bed, but you can't force me to take medication, you can't force me to go to therapy, you can't force me to live," Harry spat. You took it on the chin, eyeing the way it seemed exhausting for him to just raise his voice at you. "I'm not a child, and I'm not one of your patients, so leave me the fuck alone."

"Lord, give me strength," you muttered to yourself before storming over to him.

You grabbed Harry by the collar of his sweatshirt and pulled him into the bathroom, where you promptly began to pull his layers off one by one.

"What the fuck?" Harry said, too surprised to fend you off, and too weak as well. "Get off of me!"

"You are a stubborn asshole," you spat, letting all the anger and frustration from the last few weeks seep into your voice. Once Harry was down to his underwear and socks, you quickly turned the shower on and pushed him in, holding your forearm against his chest as water sprayed both of you. "And selfish. You are a parent, Harry, you can't afford to fall apart, especially not in front of Harper. You can't do this to her. I won't let you."

Harry struggled against you, but not as much. He looked furious for having brought up Harper, though. But you kept going, needing to say everything that had been rattling around in your brain since he snapped at you.

"Sophia is gone, H," you said, voice gentle but firm.

"Shut up—"

"And it hurts. I can't imagine how much it hurts to lose your wife, but I—I know how it feels to lose a parent." Your voice began to waver, but you willed yourself to calm down. You didn't talk about it much, but you could relate to the situation at hand better than most. It was part of the reason why you helped Harry and Harper out so much. "Harper is strong and brave and charismatic. She's all the good things Soph was. Stop punishing her for it and celebrate it. She needs you, H. If you can't find it in yourself to get better for you, do it for your daughter. Don't do this to her."

Harry was crying by then, and you were too. Water sprayed the both of you, but he wasn't straining against you anymore. When it felt like he was starting to slide against the tiles to sit down, you didn't let him. "Don't do that," you said, using all your strength to hold him up. "Don't let it consume you. Lean on me if you have to, but don't—don't sit down."

To your surprise, he didn't. Harry let you give him a scrub down, starting with his hair and then sponging his body with soap. You left his briefs on for his sake. As a nurse, you were used to seeing every part of the body, but Harry was your friend, not a patient. When you were done, you left him to dry off with a towel and dress with the instruction to be in the kitchen for dinner in twenty minutes. You didn't have to say what you would do if he didn't come. Harry got a dose of how forceful you could be very quickly.

So he came out of his room, and the two of you ate in complete silence. You didn't mind the quiet and were content to let Harry figure out whatever was going on in his head. You did keep an eye on him, though, making sure he didn't push his food around and actually ate it. He did, thankfully; you really didn't want to have to spoon-feed him too.

"Tomorrow I set up a group therapy session in town. It's super confidential, so you don't have to worry about that, but—"

"No."

"No? Really? We're doing this again?" you asked, only half joking.

"I don't want to go to group therapy," he said, and you could practically taste his displeasure for it across the table.

"Well, I thought you might say that, so I also scheduled one-on-one counseling, though I thought you might prefer the group. Less opportunities to talk when there are multiple people in one session." You picked up and quickly washed your plate before setting it down on the drying rack. "Tomorrow's session is at ten. Let me know what you want to do before then, but you're going to one of them. Oh, and you're responsible for cleaning up after yourself. Night."

You left Harry to his own devices after that, deciding to get ready for bed. It was going to be a long few weeks, or however long to get your friend back up on his feet, and you were going to need all the peace of mind you could get.

Three weeks later, Harry was still irritable. You knew he resented you for making him do, well, anything, but he still did them. He went to his group therapy sessions and cleaned up after himself in the kitchen. He just didn't like talking to you. Or acknowledging you. Or looking at you. You were pretty sure all the anger he had about Sophia dying and having to take care of Harper alone was now directed at you. You didn't necessarily mind being his outlet if it meant he was getting out of the house, but it did get exhausting at times. And it made for a very awkward car ride.

"I...can't pick you up from group today," you said as you neared the building where Harry's group sessions were.

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?" he huffed, crossing his arms across his chest like a child.

You gripped the steering wheel tighter so as not to whack him repeatedly on the arm. "Are you really that much of a pampered celebrity that you can't use public transportation? Or your own two feet?"

"Well why the fuck are you signing me up for this shit if you can't take me. I don't even want to go to these stupid meetings."

In a split second, you pulled over and put the car in park. "Get out."

"What?"

"You heard me," you said, the frustration you'd been pushing down the last three weeks finally bubbling to the surface. You'd been patient, you'd done what you thought was right for Harry and his family, but you couldn't be his punching bag anymore. "I've been taking you to these meetings because I want to help you, because I want to help Harper, but you have...kicked and screamed like a child every step of the way, and I—I want you to be better. I want you to be able to handle your emotions in a healthy way, but I—" I give up, you wanted to say, but even you weren't that mean in the midst of your anger. "You're an adult, Harry. I can't force you to go to therapy, so don't. Get out. Do whatever the hell you want."

Harry looked at you for a moment, surprised by your outburst. His mouth was pressed into a hard line, his eyes roving around your face. Searching for what, you weren't sure. Maybe he didn't think you would ever actually kick him out. You gave him as good as he got when he snapped at you, but you never expressly kicked him out. You were pretty sure he was deciding if you were serious or not.

"Out!" you said when he still hadn't opened the door. Now you were going to be late to work.

"Fuck! Fine," he said, then he was opening the door and getting out of the car. It shut with a definitive slam, but you didn't wait around to see Harry glare at you as you rushed back onto the street.

Work sucked, which made your mood that much worse. You normally liked your job at the hospital. It was busy and made you feel like a zombie at the end of most shifts, but the work was rewarding, and you were good at it too. You ran the Labor and Delivery room like a tight ship, everything and everyone had a place. But tonight you were slammed, one issue after another for you to solve. Normally you could handle the stress, but your nerves had been frayed for weeks, and every minor inconvenience didn't feel so minor right now.

Nothing was going your way, patients' families were being bigger assholes than usual, and the charting system was being glitchy. Not to mention you were pulling a double shift, so it was safe to say you were tired out of your mind, irritated, and not as chipper as you normally were amongst the normal amount of stress.

"Y/n, have you taken your lunch yet?"

You looked up from the computer at the nurses' station where one of your coworkers was standing on the other side. "Look at this place, Miranda. When would I have the time?"

The Labor and Delivery wing of the hospital was full of patients, excited family members in the waiting room, OB interns, and nurses trying to maintain order. You could always expect a good number of people in this wing of the hospital, but today was more crowded than usual. In-laws that wanted to be in the delivery room were driving you crazy in a way that they normally didn't, and a surgical intern tried to talk down to you, which tried your practically non-existent patience. It was safe to say that your pink scrubs were very misleading about your disposition today.

Miranda narrowed her eyes at you. "It's thirty minutes."

"I can't. I have to get these charts updated because these idiots we call interns don't know how to—"

"Y/n?"

"God, tell me this is not happening," you muttered before looking up from the computer again. Harry was standing at the nurses' station next to Miranda, who was staring at him with wide eyes. "I can't do this with you right now."

"I know. I just wanted to—"

"I can take your bitching at home, but not here," you said, going back to your computer. Everything you'd felt this morning was still simmering in you, and you didn't want to make a scene at work.

"I just came to apologize," he said, his voice lacking the harsh edge it'd had since he'd been staying with you.

You shook your head and picked up a chart as you began to walk away. "Honestly? I don't have time for that, either, H."

Perhaps you shouldn't have been so flippant, but you were at work, for one. You got into a certain headspace to keep everything and everyone in order, and you couldn't compromise that on a hectic day like this, even if Harry had come to say he was sorry.

"But, Y/n, you still have to take your lunch!" Miranda said.

Stopping in your tracks, you turned back around. Your arms were crossed as you gave Miranda a look, but she just stared right back. She was always the one who looked after you while you looked after everyone else. Sighing, you walked back over to the nurses' station to hand over the chart on your hands. "Ten minutes."

"The law says thirty."

"Fifteen," you amended, then left before Miranda could argue with you. You heard footsteps behind you, and while you knew they were Harry's, you didn't do anything to stop him from following.

The break room was small, just big enough to hold a refrigerator, some cupboards, and a table with a few chairs. You didn't spend much time here, but it did see a lot of foot traffic despite its size.

Sitting down at the table, you rested your head in your hands, your eyes closing for a few seconds now that you let yourself have this short break. Your feet hurt and your head pounded, but you managed to stand up anyway and make yourself a cup of coffee.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, though you weren't really sure you cared. Not right now anyway.

"I wanted to apologize," he said right away, like he was afraid you weren't going to let him speak.

You laughed a little. "Oh? What for?"

You knew you were being difficult, but you couldn't help it. The way Harry treated you had all come to a head this morning, and the shit day at work didn't help your mood, either. Staring at him over the rim of your coffee mug, your heart softened the tiniest bit. He looked like a scolded puppy with his head tilted down and his hands behind his back. It was hard for you to balance the anger you felt for the way he treated you and acknowledge the fact that it was his grief that was making him act this way. There's no wrong way to grieve. It was something you knew and understood, but Harry's grief process didn't make your life any easier.

"I've been...horrible to you," he said, though he still wouldn't look at you. "I—I know you've been trying to help Harper and me, and all I've done was take everything I've felt out on you."

It was hard to find the right words to say. You didn't want to just excuse his behavior by saying he was grieving, but you knew he would never treat you the way he had been otherwise. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

"What made you come to this conclusion?" you decided to ask, curious to know the answer.

Harry smiled sheepishly and chuckled to himself in a way that was embarrassed more than amused. "Therapy. I went after you kicked me out this morning. Thanks for that, by the way."

You couldn't help but grin a little, at the very least because you hadn't seen Harry smile in months. "You're welcome."

"I'm really, really sorry, Y/n," he said once the air in the room sobered again. "I don't know if I could ever say it enough, or express how thankful I am to you for being there for Harper when I couldn't. I'm sorry for all the horrible things I've said and the way I've acted. I, um, I don't magically feel better, but for the first time since Soph died, I want to be."

You believed him when he said that. There was an air about Harry that seemed different than the last few months. And the fact that he was apologizing at all and seemed to have a small grasp of his feelings said a lot. And you wanted to believe him too, for the sake of his own health and happiness as well as Harper's.

"I know it was your grief that made you...act a certain way, but thank you for apologizing," you said.

"Things won't immediately go back to the way they were, I know that, but," Harry said, wiping the corner of his eye. "I wanted to take Harper out to dinner tomorrow night, and I'm hoping you'll join us."

"Not tonight?"

"No. I think I just want to go home and be with my daughter tonight," he said, sounding a little nervous and a little hopeful. "And I'm sure you're sick of me, so I thought I'd let you have a night to yourself."

You took a moment to look at your friend, really look at him. Harry's frame was still narrow, he was paler than usual, and the angles were still a little too sharp and pronounced, but his hair was neat and his eyes were clear, and he just looked different overall.

Standing up, you walked to where Harry was still standing by the entrance to the break room and threw your arms around him. A wave of emotion hit you the second his arms wrapped around you, and you couldn't help the sob that escaped your lips as you held him tight. He felt so frail, like he could blow away with the next breeze. It pained you to feel how everything affected him physically.

"You scared me," you said. Perhaps it was too soon to admit, but you needed to say what had been weighing on your heart since he collapsed. "You pissed me of and drove me insane, but above everything, I was terrified."

Terrified of losing him, terrified of not doing what was right by him or Harper, terrified that he'd never be the same. The fear of losing Harry to his grief kept you up most nights. More than the poisonous words or cold shoulders or childish behavior, you'd been so scared of every worst case scenario it nearly made you sick.

"I'm sorry I've put you through so much. You lost her too."

That made you squeeze Harry even harder. You'd known Sophia first and had been the one to introduce her to Harry. The three of you had been friends for a long time before Harry and Soph had even started dating, and you stayed friends long after. She wasn't your sister, but in a lot of ways she was family, and so were Harry and Harper.

Eventually you pulled away, wiping your eyes and stepping back from his embrace. You felt a little awkward, but lighter too, and hopeful for the future.

"So you'll come? To dinner?" Harry asked, his own eyes lined with tears.

Harry wasn't magically healed. He still had a long road ahead of him to be healthy again, not to mention mending his relationship with Harper. But you decided to believe that he was on the mend, that he was open to getting proper help and taking the right steps to manage his depression.

"It would be my pleasure."

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #hs angst

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agirlwholovesrockstars · 11 months ago

Text

you ain't woman enough

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

Summary : some crazy diehard fan claims to steal your man, of course- you won't let that happen

Word Count : not too long, I hope

Warnings : 18+ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, reader and Eddie are both (25) also they're MARRIED to each other, no use of y/n, Gareth is (18), Jeff is (20) mentions of a fan having self-harm history, the lunatic fan (I named her Delancy, she's 18) can be very invasive, disrespectful, delusional and too obsessed with Eddie, alcohol consumption, mentions of pregnancy at the end, I think that's just it tho

What to Expect : angst and fluff teehee

Note To Reader : guys, you're not going to believe this because my fever just bounced back again making me suffer once more 💀 (but I'm good right now don't worry)

Author Note : LOVE LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH- OF COURSE YOU KNOW I'VE HAD TO MAKE A FIC WITH IT ;)) (idk if I feel satisfied about this fic but here it goes)

You and Eddie have been together for ages

A bit dramatic, isn't it?

But no, seriously, it's like you spend a lifetime every minute, hour and seconds being with him

Since high school, Eddie thought it's cruel joke when you talked to him for the first time

He had a bit of time to grow on you back then, but when you finally get to know him when he unsheds his layers of showing the tough act to people at school

He is actually very sweet

That's where it all took off

You're always been there

The Hellfire Club campaigns, The Hideout sessions, the best part is that you we're also there when he got his long-awaited diploma

Wayne loves you, gosh, Eddie can still vividly remember the teasing moments that make him so freaking embarrassed when it revealed that Eddie has a crush on you

It's the most silliest confession that you both shared to each other, giggling at the same time

It's also wholesome in a way that you feel like yourself when you're with him than you're own

That's says something

You watch him grew to become one of the highest paid rock bands all of time, Corroded Coffin

Back in graduation in college, he said that he'll marry you and you'll be on his side while he's touring around the world

The words you told him never left his mind

"Always keep your dreams alive, Ed's"

You both love metal music, films, obviously certified nerds, always excited when you're both talking about your favorites

I mean- what's not to love?

"You're ready? sweetheart?"

"Yeah"

You gave him 360° turn to your full ensemble for the tonight's show

Oh, he was stunned at it, he takes a minute to process

"Well?"

"You look fantastic- I mean- hot, super super hot"

You snort "Okay, let's go rockstar"

You've prepared yourself for this since the beginning, the moment that Eddie got himself big time at a record label

You know what you're in for

You're ready to face it all, the tabloids, loads of paparazzi everywhere, awestruck fans that recognize the both of you walking in the streets of L.A

You also know once you entered this business, there's no longer privacy that you knew before

The fandom that Eddie has is like a freaking movement almost like an activist, every false lies, rumors, gossips, they defend him with his bandmates

You adore them, really, grateful for it

The head of the official fanbase of Corroded Coffin is really nice and respects everyone of you, even treat you like normal human beings

They organized parties when it's time for an occasion like Corroded Coffin won a Grammy, New Year's, when someone in the band has a birthday, it's really great

Sometimes, you wish every fan is just like that, or sometimes even not a fan, you wished they'll treat you kindly

While eating lunch with Eddie at a local diner downtown

"You know, there's a young girl keeps looking at our spot for like 30 mins now" Eddie is wearing Ray-Ban black sunglasses as he quietly speaks as he takes a sip of his coffee

You had a mouth full of philly cheesesteak as you turned around to find what your husband is referring to

There, you spot her, when you catch her eyes, she simply look away shyly

You hum as you shrug "It looks like she wants to say something"

"Oh, boy, here she comes"

Before you can react to what he just said, she's now standing to where you both seated but she gave a distance for personal space that leaves an impression to the both of you

Eddie caught a glimpse of the young girl's wrist with marks of healed pocks, you saw it too, he watches her intently but when he saw how genuine her eyes are, he knows this isn't some weird fanatic

You cleared your throat as you smile at the young girl

"Uh- hi, I'm so very sorry, if I made you both uncomfortable but I- I just want to express my gratitude, your songs really helped me a lot and ever since I stopped doing it for 5 years already and I feel a whole lot better and uh- your love story has always been my favorite- it's very inspiring and I've always been looking up to the both of you and uh- yeah thanks for everything" she leaves at that

the young girl went on and on with her slightly ducked down too shy to even look at the both of your eyes

"That's really sweet" you say with twinkling eyes as you kept your eyes on the young girl

"Wow, see- this is why I'm doing this! I will keep on making music when something like that happens! I can help people!" He beams exhilaratingly with a smile

"Eddie, haven't you realized you've been doing this since highschool?" You hold his hand across the table

"Yes, I know and I will do what I do best" he winks and you by that look

You know he's gonna make this interaction memorable

"Hey, kid"

The young girl almost can't believe the Eddie Munson called her out

"We appreciate you so much" he says as he picked the whole new latest album from his bag

Young girl is appalled, felt weak on the knees almost, you giggled at her reaction

To make everything go insane, he even signed the album cover

You hand it out to her "We're so proud of you"

She takes it with shaky hands as she laughs "I-I'm sorry, I'm freaking out inside, thank you so very much"

"You'll be the first person to hear it"

"I'll listen to it once I get home, I will never forget this day in my life!"

You and Eddie both chuckled "Treasure it, sweetie! You deserve it!"

"I love you both so much, you have absolutely no idea! um- I'll be attending your show this coming Saturday" you shyly added with a grin

You squealed as you look at Eddie with excitement, he took his glasses off

"That's very metal, dear" he makes a rock n roll sign as the kid does the same time, both shared laughs

You watched the kid happily as she runs over to her parents with the album in hand as they become starstrucked when they saw both of you, waving at their daughter

You sigh in content "Isn't that just awesome?!?" You slam your hands on the table feeling giddy

Eddie throws his head back in laughter as his mind replays the endearing interaction earlier

"My manager is going to kill me after this"

"Oh, yeah right- you weren't supposed to reveal your latest album yet"

"I doubt it she'll not spread it to everyone"

"I'll drink to that"

Turns out, both of your guts we're right, the young girl didn't leaked the whole ass album for the whole world to hear

The tour was going fantastic, the crowd roars, screams, cheers everyone is going nuts once the band came out the stage

The after-party is your favorite part when the set is done, it's just you, Eddie, Jeff and Gareth hanging out

It's like old times, the difference is that all of you are a part of public figures now

But, no, never once or anyone of you let that get into your head, you don't want to believe or let yourself be aware of that "I'm a celebrity and you're nothing" type of shit, all of you remained humble since day one

No wonder why people adored you so much

Jeff finished his degree last year, now he's got himself a babe beside him, Gareth only have 2 years left at his college

He is so sick of it already, but he won't stop until he finally graduated

"Now, I get it why- Eddie feels so fucking drained after college" Gareth groans as he sats down next to you

"But my tutoring while on the tour bus helped, right?" You gave him an sympathetic smile

He smiles tiredly "Yeah, I'm just so exhausted but I'm almost there"

"That's the spirit!"

"Man, I don't know how you do it, are you getting enough sleep?" Jeff chimes in as he drinks his beer as he awaits for his friend to answer

"I don't even remember when's the last time I got a good night's sleep"

"Your time has run out" a voice rudely interrupted your conversation

You, Jeff, Gareth turn around at the girl who is standing closer to you

Jeff and Gareth shared confusion looks to each other

"Excuse me?" You say as look at her directly

"I said he's done with you"

"Who?"

"Eddie"

Jeff makes a face and Gareth is unamused, offended by it

You tried your best to be polite as you wave your hand in front of her dismissively, maybe it's just some girl who mistakenly thought you're someone that she knew

"He doesn't love you anymore"

Who is this person? You think to yourself

You laugh incredulously as you lean forward, Jeff and Gareth looked at you and thinks why you're aren't doing anything to be mean just for once

They're watching the nicest argument ever

"You have to let him go" she says as she crossed both of her arms

"Why would I do that?"

"So, I can take him"

You, Jeff and Gareth looked at each other with knowing looks as you tried to keep your composure stable

The bartender is clearly knows what the fuck is going on and couldn't help but to bite back a laughter as well

"Ooh- okay, hot shot- gimme a sec" you say with a mockery on your voice as you bit your lip to stop bursting to any second

You kick Jeff and elbowed Gareth to stop them from snickering

"Hey, Francis" you paid for the tabs, you treat the guys for the drink tonight

"You didn't have to-"

"I insist, you always gave me fine drinks and you never let me pay? Come on- take it"

The older man smiles and sighs and muttered a small thank you

All of you go down to your rotating circle chairs, but before you left her, you twirl around with a teasing smile

She became annoyed at you, you didn't even know what the hell she's annoyed at you for

"Sorry to burst your bubble, you can't do that"

"What makes you think that I can't?" She snaps and it makes you amused

Jeff and Gareth make a teasing "Oooh's" as you flipped the guys off behind your back

"Because-" you looked at her from top to bottom

She really wasted her beauty for pulling a stunt like this?

"You aren't there yet"

You know, she ain't gonna understand that phrase because she's young, you didn't even bother to explain what it means so you turn heel and left her at it

You wiggle your fingers at her as you wave goodbye and she watches the three you finally booming the streets with the loud cackles

At the backstage, 10 mins left before the show starts

"Eddie! Stand still!" You say as you fix his outfit

"I've been performing for years and I still get nervous" he says with a unsure smile

"That's totally normal, Eddie, once you get out of there and feel all of the people energy and literally once you start singing? You'd be great like you always do" you say as you finish doing touch ups to his look

He didn't replied, he instead hugged you

"Oh" you got startled at his sudden action but you melt with it

"Thank you, sweetheart"

"Anytime, Ed's"

A frequent knock is going on the door, almost breaking it, he swung it open- he got cutt off by someone

"Alright, alright! I'll be there-"

"Where have you been?!? I've looked for you everywhere!"

"What-"

"Didn't you missed me?!?"

You lean onto your side of the doorframe with arms crossed as Eddie looked at you for help almost like he's saying "Do you have any idea who is this person?!?"

The young lady who you encountered last night meet your eyes, you swore you saw the fire ignited once you came into the frame

"What is she doing here?!?"

Eddie is so perplexed as he continues to look at the random girl and you just smirk to yourself

She reached for Eddie's hand as he became so stunned at her action and you raised both of your eyebrows at her boldness

The audacity of this person is wild

"Honey? Care to explain, please?" Eddie is obviously trying to let go of the grip that she's holding onto him

"Oh, I just met her last night and how rude of me not knowing your name- if you even had one" you sarcastically speak up, it's very comedic to watch her face crumpled up to your smugness

"It's Delancy"

"Yeah, right- Delancy!" You act like it was the most interesting information ever

Eddie is watching you with a wolfish grin, he finally understood it

"I'm here to support my boyfriend" she lOviNgLy looks up at Eddie, the situation doesn't even get worse from there as he looks at you through his bangs as he purses his lips together

"Sweetie, before you can get to him, I'll have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here"

"You can't!"

"It will be over my dead body"

Eddie finally got away from the hold as he looks at her with fake sympathetic smile with a pout as he throws both of his hands in defense

You glanced at the corner and saw the security guards probably looking for her

You lean closer as you say "So, get out while you can" you nudge your chin towards the guards and she panic as she runs away

"Oh my fucking god" Jeff jogs as he tries to catch up his breath

"Give me a minute" Gareth holds up a finger as he pants

"So, she's the girl that you little shitheads talking about, huh?"

Both of the young men nod as they chuckled slightly

"Can't believe she got herself inside" you scoff as you shake your head

"Hmm, maybe there's a way to end this ridiculousness" Eddie smirks as all of you looked at him in confusion

The show is exhilaratingly amazing, Eddie called out for you, is this his plan?

You shyly get up on the stage as the crowd cheers for your name

Once you walked closer to Eddie he pulled you in for a kiss

You're surprised but managed to recover as you wrap your arms around him as you kiss him back

Jeff whistles as Gareth clapped aggressively

The whole crowd screamed harder as Eddie pulled you closer more to him as if that were possible, you became flustered as you break the kiss from running out of breath but Eddie?!? Kept stealing kisses as you giggled

"My beautiful wife everybody!" Eddie announces in the microphone not caring if your lipstick is all over his face

"Thank you guys for the insane night! We love you! We appreciate all of your support! Take care and we'll see you soon! Keep on rockin'!" Eddie left with that as Jeff and Gareth came onto your side as they join you for a bow before all of you waved goodbye and exit the stage

The interview is happening in the morning after the last night's show

"Have you heard about the rumor? There's basically a young girl claiming your husband, Eddie, to be as her boyfriend? What is your comment about this?"

Gareth chimes in with a smirk on his face as he leans over to steal a moment in the camera "No comment" he says as Eddie, Jeff snickered as you chuckled as well

"Yeah, I did, I even interacted with her- she seems....interesting"

"Interesting for a therapy" Jeff adds as the three man crack up to his joke

"She even said that Eddie looked at her at the concert last evening" the interviewer spoke up as you can watch Eddie genuinely reacted to this

"Oh my god" Eddie rubs his face as he hides his face buried on his palms as he tries not to laugh

"Well, a man looks at things sometimes that he doesn't need, I think she's referring to what happened at the backstage-"

"I took a second look-" Eddie narrows his eyes at you

"But he's in love with me" you point to yourself ignoring your cheeks blush

"Exactly" Eddie grins as you held his hand

"She even said that the kiss that happened was a fake"

"I don't know where that leaves her" you shrug at the interviewer

"You know where you stand"

You chortled at the interviewer's remark, knowing that this will even more pissed her off

"Precisely, I know where I stand" you agree as you nod

"And there you have it, folks, The Corroded Coffin, it's such a delight to finally to get to talk to you all and the man of the hour, Eddie Munson with his wife, Jeff and Gareth the icons behind the band, Thank you for tuning in!" The interviewer wraps it all up

"Please, do invite your fans to come on over to your tours"

"it's our pleasure, to share our music around the world and all we wanna do is just inspire people" Eddie smiles at the camera while he always pulled you into his side, you love that he never fails to show you off

As the airing ends, Eddie whispers to your ear

"Let's make her even more furious" Eddie bites his lips as he could think for a conniving idea

You snorted at him with a playful smile

"Telling to everyone that you're having a baby" he winks

"Eddie!" You push him playfully on the chest but he laughs as he carries you and spins around at the studio

But he ain't wrong with that, you'll even consider it later ;))

#eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #stranger things 4 #eddie munson fic #loretta lynn #you aint woman enough #agirlwholovesrockstarsfics #Spotify

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earlgreytea68 · 1 year ago

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It does feel like they masked patrick voice a lot... like, normally when fob is a feature on a song, I'm immediately like - OH PATRICK THERE HE IS! - but this one just felt like... a guy that sort of sounds like patrick?? lol idk I'm not a taylor hater or anything but I DO think patrick is the better singer and part of me wonders if they were afraid he'd out sing her or something tbh lol

I was thinking about this comment in connection with what Pete always says, that people are Fall Out Boy fans because they love Patrick's voice, they would listen to him sing the phone book. And Patrick always modestly rolls his eyes and Pete is definitely being deprecating about the rest of the band and he knows it, but today was a day when I realized: He is not wrong.

Like, I did not fully appreciate the level of familiar comfort the sound of Patrick's voice brings me at this point but it turns out IT'S A LOT lol. Like you, usually when he's a feature when he shows up I'm like, PATRICK, and make hearteyes and swoon, etc. With his voice masked like that, I was just completely adrift and missing him. I always knew that I love Patrick's voice, but my reaction to this song really made me realize how much I depend on it. I turned on the super-controversial "We Didn't Start the Fire," which I thought was GREAT, and Patrick's voice was immediately like a cradle around me lol, I knew I was in good hands.

He definitely can outsing her, and he can even manage to do it with the weird electronic gloss on his voice, he does get himself a couple of moments in the bridge, I think, but I have to confess that the more I listened to this song today, the more I have grown from "oh, it's not great but I guess it's okay," to "wow, I hate this song." I can no longer even make it into his verse lol, now I have to shut it off. So, safe to say this is a song I am going to try to pretend never existed. Not only does he not sound like Patrick Stump, but then he's singing such extremely dull lyrics, this is just not one of Taylor's stronger songs to me at all. I was actually surprised when I saw critics calling it a duet about two people in nervous anticipation of their first date, and I was like, "...two people? who are the two people?" and then realized they were interpreting Patrick's verse as being from the POV of the guy, and I was like, ...Patrick's verse is clearly just an electronic Patrick Stump singing some more lyrics from the woman's POV lol. According to Genius, there are parts where one or the other of them are singing, or they're both singing together, and I can't even figure it out because they just sound so electronically generic to me at this point.

It's a shame because before this song came out I really did think, "Oh, maybe they'll pull off some kind of crazy tour shenanigan!" Like, they're both out touring at the same time, maybe their schedules would go near each other and they would sing this song live but...they are never singing this song live lolololol

And it's doubly a shame because I love them both so much and I was so, so excited for this "collaboration," I've been hoping for a Taylor/FOB collab for literally YEARS, I just really thought they could be so great together, and then I got this thing I hate, sigh. It just seems like such a waste of an opportunity to ask "Fall Out Boy" to join a song and then just autotune Patrick's voice and call it a day. And I definitely knew to expect it, that is how Taylor's collabs generally feel, ESPECIALLY on these vault tracks, but I just underestimated how much I was relying on the comfort of Patrick's voice in the song. Anyway, sad day, lesson is, don't meet your idols, or, wait, don't let your idols meet, or something lol. And also GOOD NEWS, TONIGHT IS A SHOW NIGHT SO THERE WILL BE MORE TOURDUST CONTENT TOMORROW, THANK GOD.

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hospitalterrorizer · 2 months ago

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diary384

10/10-11/24

thursday - friday

okay...i'm stupid...i played termina too much tonight.

plus we did not get to seem friends from la but sunday should be a good day... uhmmmm. yeah!

i sent the email to the director, which is ssick, plus i sent the problem song to a friend to get their thoughts on how it sounded, they said it sounds cool, so maybe i wait a bit to hear it again, i listened to some of my other songs i'm working on and am getting excited about them again, so that is very very nice. today is also a really good day, someone i know distantly, we were in a music server forever ago though i dunno if she remembers me well at all, she listened to my album and said this about it:

really #happy! it makes me feel kind of crazy seeing people throw praise towards me, i have no idea what to do, i feel guilty almost, like it's something i have to reciprocate, it seems always done out of kindness, so having that kind of thing directed at me feels strange and new, people are so kind, though, i like people.

i think i talked about it before but i always like bow my head at people who are nice to me online... i'm a freak i guesss.

okay, i also did see dfa1979 live tonight, they're really fun live, sound good, it was cool to see jesse's setup, i didn't get a look at his pedals but i'm not so interested in that, i was more curious what was going on with his amps / cabs, it seems like 2 large pa cabs almost? not even like regular bass cabs, but they probably are, it's 5 cones on them i think, so it's massively loud and super low freq heavy, there's some nasty and strange mid range stuff too, he's definitely running a harmonizing pedal, and then that into an octave fuzz maybe? that'd be demented honestly, but it sounds like there's some messy stuff going on but no messy tracking, so it's not a synth pedal or anything i think. it could be a new like earthquaker one, i think, but he did some chords on the bass too and it sounded good. he also had his bass get switched out at times, so i wonder what tunings he's messing with. the drummer's the vocalist, always fun to see, they're both charming guys, the crowd was pretty fun and they weren't too bad, kind of like, frat bro-y douche-y vibes but they weren't douches, if that makes sense, i guess just bros, bros chilling. on the way out, my gf and i got asked if we were friends, by a guy who definitely wanted to fuck. he was feeling brave i suppose. but honestly there's not a lot to say about the show... their synth, idk what it was, they'd made the logo say "poop" which is an immature way to mask what you're rocking out with... i dunno why bands do that really, i guess some people are so protective of their sounds, like it's special property or something.

the opener was this band called sticker who sound like nirvana...kinda. i don't wanna be mean but they made me think about how i want them to succeed not cuz they are good but because they seem to just really feel it, so like, for their wellbeing, i want them to make it. but that's maybe mean... i dunno, i just want them to not be sad, i think. i wonder how they sound recorded. the guitar tone is too chorus-y to me. too much nirvana worship in that way.

anyway, i took selfies, today, i don't think i looked uggy, so that is a kind of win. here i am:

kinda bad lighting in one but it's not a bad selfie i think... or it's sort of bad in a good way? i d k. i'm dumb.

kay... i made a lot of progress in termina i hope. i'm on day 2, i opened up 2 parts of prehevil proper, the one gate, and then the church zone you access via the sewer, the sewer seems to have more going on, as well, so i need to figure out what i'm doing there. i think i wanna explore the west of prehevil, the cop enemies are really scary. i can't believe they get back up!! i wonder if i have to like destroy their limbs? as marina i got a spell, red arc, i think, it's really powerful, i've been using it to zap their heads off. i wonder if i can zap the head off of that needle guy... he's so scary to me, made me panic every time i encountered him, really really scary.

i also got to the basement of that woodsman, he like killed his wife cuz she did things with a goat, or maybe she summoned the goat. i need to do some wandering i think, tomorrow, in the area, i found a tunnel made by the bremen army it seems like, i need to figure out where that goes but i don't have a key to that door. also figured out what to do with the heads of enemies and stuff.

here's a funny screenshot i took:

he will not become my friend... i do not know what it is he wants.

okie dokie, i think that's all i have to say. or idk, i really love this game, i was locked in a like, panic striking thing where i was like, okay how will i get out of this one bad situation, and i got out of it, kept exploring, and started making actual progress, and i opened up a couple blood portals to get around better. i just felt a lot of actual panic faced by some enemies, and not sure if my spell actually had that high a hit rate, and i know i can't depend on it because it's gonna drain my sanity... so stressful. it's really perfectly created, and this narrative feels like it's doing more, saying more, like fascist forces using these intensely fucked up vitalist visions of these gods to shape the world, like a kind of psycho-futurist thing almost? war forever because of their bloodlust, and the framing of the jesus figure as bloodthirsty too. its grim vision of 'humanity' is still there, but it feels a little more, i dunno, it's got kindness in it. some of the characters really are kind, i like the people who have stuck by the train. i wonder how i can help them.

now i need to sleep,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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thorne1435 · 2 years ago

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That goal is nigh near impossible but I'll cheer you on ma'am with fireworks and that #1 glove I always see in movies.

Anyways, more songs!

Home (Pt. 1 & 2) and Home (Pt. 3) - Current Joys

I Just Couldn't Save You Tonight - Ardhito Pramono (some local artist goodness)

#Grownupz - FEiN

HAVE A NICE DAY - WORLD ORDER

Do It All The Time - IDKHOW

Posession Island - Gorillaz

This one's kinda long I'm just gonna stick a read-more on all of it.

Home (Pt. 1 & 2): This sounds like the intersection between Cage The Elephant, Vundabar, and mom jeans., y'know? Like if you had all three of those bands on a Venn Diagram you'd have Current Joys in the center between them all.

Radiator Hospital comes to mind. One of their slower songs from their newest.

Home (Pt. 3): Y'know, one of these days, artists reversing their instruments isn't going to create a spacy, surrealist feeling that telegraphs something being wrong. But that day is not today and I am still a slut for it. I do think that this one is a bit less interesting than (Pt. 1 & 2), though. Even despite the reversed guitar, there's just not enough variation for this to hold up on its own, to me. But that might also be trying to convey something artsy. I'm not sure. It certainly seems artsy.

I have no idea what to recommend so, sorry, nothing obscure. I hope sad and artsy is enough.

I Just Couldn't Save You Tonight: Is it "Ardʰito" or "Arðito"? There's a language I don't recognize in the comments which is making it hard to tell (and also making me insecure because I'm usually really good with linguistics). Anyway, this is the intersection between Cavetown and Liana Flores. I think I'm going to send this to my best friend actually because this style is usually right up her alley.

I'm sorry to recommend something popular from the early 2000s but you do seem like the kinda person who would like A Perfect Circle. Yeah yeah, I know, hipster bitch listens to Tool, shut up...

#Grownupz: This is gay people music. I don't know why. I just know that its vibes are gay.

yo its just like purble yelle reb an blu by protuglal fe mamn. (Listen to Rich Friends instead though because it's better)

Have A Nice Day: Oo! It's Japanese! And...it sounds incredibly corporate. This is actually horrifically dystopian, and I don't think they're unaware of that. I usually don't like music videos but I think if you made me listen to this without the music video I'd miss the point of the song. A mob of men in dress clothes moving robotically and smiling in a disturbing and disingenuous way while normal people on the streets watch them in confusion and fear. Surely that's intentional. The lyrics are as meaninglessly chipper as their faces because the corporate style doesn't allow for anything sad. Everyone should be happy. Aren't you happy? Isn't life fun? This is very normal. Smile! Be happy. :)

I don't know anything as high-concept as that, so I think you win. I didn't know you could win a music share, but you did. So good job! You've forced me into using my secret weapon: Sayonara, Perfect World.

Do It All The Time: You have the gall to suggest I try the first IDKHBTFM song I EVER LISTENED TO? IN MY MUSIC SHARE?! (it is our music share, actually) Especially after all that shit I said about finding them really early, too. But anyway, yeah, I like this song.

Have you heard of this niche band called I Don't Know How But They Found Me (abbreviated IDKHBTFW or sometimes IDKHow or sometimes just IDK)? They're pretty good, I really like this one song of theirs called "No One Likes The Opening Band". You've probably never heard of it, though. You should check it out.

Possession Island: Oh for fuck's sake, FINE! I'LL LISTEN TO THE NEW GORILLAZ ALBUM! JESUS!! Why is it being advertised to me by everything, is it really that good? Is it Plastic Beach 2??? I guess we'll see. Hey, while we're on the subject, do you remember how 2D got possessed off-camera during The Now Now era and nothing became of that?? And he's possessed again now, for Cracker Island, if I'm not mistaken. Or was he never not possessed, and Cracker Island came before The Now Now, chronologically? It's been forever since I fucked with Gorillaz lore. Oh uh, cool song, btw.

This song reminds me of Hallelujah. Yeah, the one from Shrek. I'm not gonna recommend that because we've all heard it (some of us have even heard the good version). So, just take...fuckin'...idk, this one?

#music share #man wouldn't it be funny if you couldn't click the links for some reason?#that would be hilarious

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fairyysoup · 2 years ago

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i‘ve been trying to get into ghost for years but idk where to start pls help -ts anon

*cracks knuckles* i am so glad you asked bestie

I would honestly start by focusing on the music because they are, after all, a band. i think a lot of people tend to get either confused or intimidated by the lore surrounding the members and the storylines that go on from one album release to the next, so it's easiest to start with the roots of it and worry about the rest later (i think). but once you pick apart the themes of the different albums themselves, i think you kind of naturally fall into the lore of the band by default. so when in doubt, start with the music

i started off with meliora, which i think is their most popular album?? (but i'm not sure it could have changed since tbh). it's a good mix of heavy metal and more pop rock, and most people at least know the song square hammer from it. the story of the album is about religious apathy when there is no presence of a god, and the band introduce themselves as a guiding hand of hope in those kind of bleak times. which is why i think it's good as an introduction to the band- you have a band with lore where the members are supposed to be a satanic church, so here's an album introducing them as exactly that, an anti-church.

from there you can do what I did and backtrack through their first two albums, which are heavier and deal with themes of the antichrist. or you can go on to their fourth album, and my absolute favorite, prequelle. it's a concept about the apocalypse, equating it to the times of the black death, and it's quite honestly a no-skips album for me. it has two of thee best instrumental numbers i've ever heard in my entire life, and it'll also have you shaking your ass to the words "while you sleep in earthly delight someone's flesh is rotting tonight" so that's fun.

then there's their most recent album, impera, which includes the song from the halloween kills soundtrack (hunter's moon), and i would describe its theme as being like a post-apocalyptic steampunk future after the fall of an empire?? i have to be honest i haven't deep dived into it yet, that's just what i gathered from listening to it lol

i'll also admit that for as much as a fan as I am, I have no IDEA what we are calling the nameless ghouls anymore or how to differentiate them. like i know they're identified based on their instruments and occasionally their uniforms (meliora era had only four of them if i remember correctly and they each had a different symbol highlighted on their costume but idk what we're going with anymore there's so much). i tend to focus mostly on papa emeritus (number whichever) in any era for the most crucial bits of lore info. there used to be a post floating around with a crash course on the different papas, but idk where it is now rip

and, if you're interested in that one song everyone knows from tiktok, mary on a cross, that is from their ep seven inches of satanic panic. it was basically them going "lmao what if papas 1, 2, and 3's dad was papa 0 and started the band ghost in the 1960s and this was their first single, how sick would that be." that's why both songs off of it sound very heavily influenced by bands like the doors and donovan, it's basically meant to be from the late 60s.

that's it that's what i got. thanks for coming to my ted talk 💕 happy rabbit-holing

#asks #ts anon #the band ghost #ghost

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mcnuggyy · 4 years ago

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oh shit yeah they really do have such a small amount of listeners holy shit. idk why, they're so good. also Beacon is so good!! all the songs are so chill but so emotional. kind of reminds me of the mountain goats sometimes

YEAH!!! idk I just really did the vibes,, like okay here’s how I found this band, you know those shorts? Cyanide and Happiness on YouTube? Well there was an episode called Tiny Face, and the song that played was by Will Currie & the CF, and 16 year old me was soooo emotional about it like ohhhgodddd this songgggg and also Jaja funny edgy YouTube video has such a moving song wow I should look up this band, and so I found their album and it just sort of stuck with me?? I even did like two of my college projects on some of the songs! ( I did They Killed is and Beuchemin) like I had my fucking cousin dress up as a tailor and got a bunch of fake blood and it was wild ANYWAYS... this tiny ass band has been w me since highschool and its just NOW hitting me how much it’s affected me in tiny ways.... it’s very interesting to me ;;w;;

(Also wild to think they will probably never produce another song or album again and I will never know what happened to them or where they are now or anything, just hope those random Canadians know some dumb kid in LA is listening to their music on repeat tonight)

#like if I’m having a rough art day I’ll just have it in the bg #or when I’m doing laundry #hmmm #I mean this makes it sound like I’m always listening to it which isn’t the case #but I DO always find myself going back to it more often than other albums #hrmmm #callate guero #replies #thank u for letting me rant to you dhdhdhddd

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mychemicalficrecs · 5 years ago

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do you have any unusual pairing fics like lola/gerard or party poison/gerard?.. i hope they're exist at least. ty in advance

Hi Nonny!

Well, if this wasn't an interesting ask :DYou can rest assured, there are so, so many different ships on AO3, some of them truly are unusual.Just for funsies: There are currently 223 different relationships for Frank, 89 for Ray, 262 for Gerard, and 210 for Mikey!

Unusual Ships

all-natural by Trojie, Andy/Mikey, 2k, Explicit. Sometimes Andy's straightedge thing harshes Mikey's urge to party, it's true, but y'know what, there are other ways to get chemicals in your system. All-natural, 100% vegan, cruelty-free chemicals, straight from your own hindbrain.

i have photos of him then that would break your heart by Trojie, Andy/Ray, 2k, Explicit. Five snapshots of a friendship with benefits

Be Your Own Spotlight (Like Bowie in the Morning Sun) by jedusaur, Edward Cullen/Mikey, 833 words, Mature. EDWARD CULLEN STALKS MIKEY WAY AND THEN THEY HAVE WILD BACKSTAGE SEX I DON'T EVEN KNOW *hides forever*

it's not the life it seems by akamine_chan, Frank/Frank, 5k, Explicit. Frank woke up struggling to breathe. He sat up in his rumpled bed, fighting against the oppressive pressure in his chest. There wasn't enough air. He heard himself gasping and choking, felt the congestion and blockage in his lungs stealing his ability to inhale. What little air he managed to draw in jammed in his throat and suddenly he couldn't exhale, could only wheeze in more air as his chest expanded and dizziness made his head spin.

Not Immune by sperrywink, Frank/Patrick, 874 words, Explicit. Patrick isn't immune to overblown flirtations, just Pete's. Who knew?

homesick at space camp by Trojie, Gabe/Patrick/Gerard, 6k, Explicit. Patrick's never actually been into a guy before this whole tour, this whole … sudden awareness of Gerard Way. He's always been theoretically open to it, but it's always been totally academic, right? Because he wasn't into any guys, so he never really got into a situation where he could try it, like … like would you like to go to the moon, Patrick? Well, sure, theoretically, but that's never going to happen, is it. But all of a sudden, Patrick Stump is an astronaut.

Reaching Through The Mirror by ladyfoxxx, Gerard/Gerard, 6k, Explicit. The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex.

Pillow Talk by akamine_chan, Gerard/Tentacle Alien, 4k, Explicit. Gerard always knew that there had to be life on other planets. He just never planned on meeting it.

boy division by Trojie, Mikey/Mikey, 2k, Explicit. Mikey meets a dude in a bar who has a lot more confidence in Mikey's future as a rockstar than Mikey himself does.

A Penny For Your Thoughts by dear_monday, Party Poison/Gerard, 2k, Explicit. "You're shitting me, right?" he says, looking Poison up and down disbelievingly. "You're not. You narcissistic fuck." Poison shrugs. "Hey. Suit yourself, motorbaby. You're not the only hooker out here tonight, you know."

Fucking Bassists by KateMonster, Patrick/Mikey, 856 words, Teen And Up Audiences. Patrick hates bassists. Sort of. Fine, maybe not really. Not like, a lot. Whatever.

Alien sex time by snazzybaby, Lola/Gerard, 890 words, Explicit. Idk why I write this I just needed to ok? It’s just sex

It Might Get Loud by brynnmck, Frank/Pansy, 1k, Explicit. A boy never forgets his first love.

This Tall To Ride by there_must_be_a_lock, Frank/Sam Winchester, 3k, Explicit. “When it’s time for the show, the band starts to troop toward the stage. Frank goes careening off a wall and takes a running leap onto the blond one’s back, only to get shaken off like a fly. Frank, undeterred, looks speculatively at Sam. “Must be this tall to ride,” Sam deadpans, holding out a hand about an inch over Frank’s head. Frank just giggles, bright and gleeful, and skips ahead to heckle the one with all the hair.”

A Good Use of a Time Machine by phylocalist, Fun Ghoul/Frank, 4k, Explicit. “So, Ghoul,” Frank started out casually, moving his lips from behind Ghoul’s ear to his jaw and letting his breath ghost over it, sending shivers down Ghoul’s spine and creating goosebumps on his arms. “Why did you decide that coming back to hook up with yourself was a good use of your time machine?”

Anakin Skywalker Makes Gerard Want to Touch His Dick by venomondenim, Anakin Skywalker/Gerard, 1k, Explicit. Gerard watches Star Wars a bit too many times and starts to notice how attractive Anakin Skywalker is, and let's his imagination have some fun. He also lets his dick in on some of the action.

Bruised Colours by Ischa, Damon Salvatore/Gerard, Jeremy Gilbert/Damon Salvatore, Jeremy Gilbert/Damon Salvatore/Gerard, 5k, Mature. A story about Damon corrupting innocent young artists. He starts with Gerard while Gerard is still at art-school and picks it up again in Mystic Falls while his brother is busy saving the world and having sex with Elena. He stumbles upon the sketchbook the next morning, kicks it aside on his way to the door and it slitters under one of the chairs. Some people have no sense at all. Ringing the bell at ten o’clock in the freaking morning on a Saturday. Damon has killed people for less.

Choke Me by shadowhive, Klaus Hargreeves/Gerard, 2k, Explicit. Gerard has always wanted to be with someone who had powers.

Chord and Sinew by Green, Billy Tallent/Mikey, 504 words, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey likes the guitarist's hands.

Soldiers Poem by dishonestdreams, Party Poison/Gerard, 478 words, Not Rated. Gerard can’t remember the last time he saw stars.

On The Road by auctorial, Robert Downey Jr./Mikey, 525 words, Explicit. Mikey has never felt more like a rock star than he does in this moment.

Future Self by shadowhive, Ray/Ray, 869 words, Explicit. It was still so strange, seeing his face on another man. It wasn’t like looking into a mirror, with his reflection staring back at him, this man... this future version of himself, looked different.

#fic rec list

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morbid-n-macabre · 5 years ago

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This one is local for me. The perpetrators are in my approximate age group, I was 16 when this occurred. Most of us locals who remember when this was going on hold a seething resentment towards this group of punks, and for good reason. Let me tell you why...

So, The Lords of Chaos were a teen militia group who did their very best to terrorize Fort Myers, Florida back in 1996. This crime spree ended with the murder of the very much loved and respected Riverdale Highschool band director, Mr. Mark Schwebes. The teacher was a truly good and decent human being who went out of his way to help the kids around him. Sadly, his killers knew this and used it to their advantage.

The Lords of Chaos lived in one of the more remote areas of Lee County, a place called Buckingham. The group consisted of teenagers with ridiculous nicknames: Kevin Foster was the leader who referred to himself as "God" (yep, the sociopath had a bit of a God complex), Pete Magnotti was "Fried", Derek Shields was called "Mob", and Chris Black was a bigger boy referred to as " Slim". Those 4 were the main members of the gang, but there were others who were less involved: Thomas "Dog" Torrone, Chris "Red" Burnett, and Craig Lesh. The only one in the group to have a criminal record was their leader, Kevin, albeit mostly driving offenses. His parents owned a local pawnshop so Kevin had access to an arsenal of weapons which he was apparently not taught to respect; the weapon which would be used to commit murder, a 12-gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun with an equipped suppressor, had been a Christmas gift when he was just 13. Kevin is described as charismatic, homophobic, racist, and bigoted; he was enamored with the cult leader David Koresh, serials he'd seen on television like Norman Bates, outlaws such as Billy the Kid, and the homegrown terrorist Timothy McVeigh. Kevin wanted to do something big to catch a name for himself, he wanted a reputation; the rest of the group had no problem with following his lead.

This group's crime spree appears to have begun at the end of March when they stole a couple of Jeep Cherokees. They drove the new vehicles out to Lehigh Acres and set them on fire, just sat and watched them burn. Next, Kevin filled a Coke can with something which resembled gun powder and attached wires to it with duct tape; said can was placed on a shelf in a Walmart pharmacy. Kevin then called the store and told the employee who answered that there was a bomb inside; panicked shoppers were evacuated, police flocked to the store, it was a mess. This group did their best to destroy everything they could; they spent their time searching for things to steal, random windows to break, or places to set fire to.

On the evening of April 13th the Lords of Chaos decided to vandalize and rob a restaurant called The Hut. This restaurant happened to have an outdoor patio where customers would sit and eat, and there were two beautiful macaw parrots kept in a large cage. When Kevin heard the two macaw parrots talking, he decided to light them on fire. Macaws are not stupid animals, they're very intelligent parrots with a lifespan which rivals ours. Thankfully one of the birds did somehow survive this, but it lost its mate.

At midnight on April 20th Kevin decided to do something big, it was the anniversary of the Waco siege. The group drove to a historical landmark, our Coca-Cola bottling plant, one of the only original bottling plants in Florida. While Kevin carefully filled a soda can with gunpowder and stuck a 25 foot fireworks fuse inside of it, his buddies strategically placed stolen propane tanks all around the building; they carefully ensured that once Kevin's bomb went off, the whole building would blow. Once it was all set up, the teens sat in a safe spot across the street and watched the explosion; firefighters did their best to put out the fire, but our beloved historical building was lost.

So, it's probably obvious that all of this really upset people, by this point the entire county was beyond angry! A local reporter wrote an article about the ongoing vandalism, and said article was very insulting towards the group of punks who were responsible for these terrible acts. The group read this article, and it only added fuel to the fire, so to speak. In turn, they wrote a manifesto which they had intended to mail off to our local newspaper, the News Press. For whatever reason the manifesto was never sent; nevertheless, it read in part:

"Lee County is dealing with a formidable foe, with high caliber intelligence, balls of titanium alloy, and a wicked destructive streak. Be prepared for destruction of biblical proportions, for this is the coming of a NEW GOD, whose fiery hand shall lay waste to the populous.

THE GAMES HAVE JUST BEGUN, AND TERROR SHALL ENSUE..."

The spree continued with the robbery of a woman named Emory Shields; Emory was not only the owner of a small restaurant called Alva Country Diner, but she had been one of the teen's landlord. After robbing Ms. Shields, they stole her vehicle. At one point the gang took a trip to the Edison mall in hopes of stealing some clothing. They attempted to let off a grenade inside Dillard's, but thankfully it was a dud. Next, Kevin and his buddies decided to attend Grad Nite, which is a big deal for highschool seniors because they get to run around Disney World throughout the night. Kevin had a plan to steal one of the character suits and shoot up Disney, to kill as many teenagers as possible, but thankfully he chickened out.

On April 30th the teenagers drove to their own school, Riverdale, with the intention of trashing it. They stole several things, set off multiple fire extinguishers, then filled up a bottle of bleach with gas and threw it though the highschool's auditorium window. Riverdale's beloved band director, 32 year old Mr. Mark Schwebes, caught the group outside. He confiscated all of the items which they had stolen from the school, and threatened to tell the resource officer. Kevin knew that once the vandalism inside the school was discovered, the teacher would put two and two together and the group would be busted; he decided that the band teacher had to die before that could happen.

The teens found Mr. Schwebes phone number and address by calling 411. They dialed the teacher first, to ensure that they'd obtained the correct information; after hearing Mr. Schwebes voice, Kevin, Pete, Derek, and Chris Black all jumped in their vehicle and drove over. Kevin knew that the teacher would answer his door for a student he recognized, and since Derek had been a member of the band, that's who was sent knocking. At approximately 11:30 pm the teacher opened the door for his student, and Kevin immediately shot him in the face with his aforementioned 12 gauge. It's said that Mr. Schwebes probably never knew what hit him. When the teacher hit the ground, Kevin shot him once more, this time in the buttocks because he wrongly assumed Mr. Schwebes to be homosexual. The group didn't even bother to pick up the spent shells, they just left them at the scene.

There's really no telling what else would have happened or who else would've been hurt or killed had this group not been caught when they did; it's said that they had been planning to rob a local Hardee's restaurant when they were finally caught. Thankfully they were braggarts, and one of the teen's girlfriends couldn't keep the secret, she went to the police.

Craig and Brad faced no charges, while Tom and Chris Burnett both took deals; they plead guilty to lesser crimes and received very little punishment in exchange for their testimony against the main members of the group.

Chris Black, Derek Shields, and Pete Magnotti all pled guilty to first degree murder. Pete received 32 years imprisonment while Chris and Derek are serving life. The only one of the group to go to trial was Kevin Foster. On June 17th of 1998 Kevin was sentenced to death; he has appealed his conviction, but recently it was undecided if the penalty would stick. From what I understand there was a new trial in which Kevin blamed his upbringing for his actions and asked that his own life be spared. It was decided that Kevin will ultimately be put to death by the state of Florida.

*I think it was Dateline which aired a two hour special on this case, I would link it if I could find it. This special kinda irked me because, idk, it almost seemed like the man who covered it fell in love with Kevin. It made the small-time gang leader out to be more than he was, like he was this highly manipulative cult leading criminal mastermind, which just wasn't the case. Kevin wasn't well known, there was no big following, he was not a force to be reckoned with. In all actuality Kevin Foster was a nobody until he and his buddies came up with a menacing name, vandalized our city, burnt parrots alive, and murdered an unsuspecting teacher who would've kicked his butt had he not been ambushed. If you're interested in knowing more, there's a really decent book about the case, "Someone Has to Die Tonight" which is worth the read.

Sorry for the opinions on this one. This whole case upsets me, and if you know me at all then you are already aware that I am a parrot person. Some obsess over cats, other dogs, for me it's parrots; I have 6 of them. My husband is still ticked off about the Coca-Cola plant.

This is a link to Mr. Schwebes sibling's blog. She's a Rabbi, and these are her feelings about the murder, and the new penalty trial which Mark's family has recently had to endure-

https://barefootpreachr.wordpress.com/category/thats-life/mark-schwebes/page/2/

#true crime community #thrill killers #cult #killer kids #Florida #fort myers #true crime #true crime blog #morbid n macabre #murder #school shooter

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rachwritesow-blog · 6 years ago

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i hope your asks are still open dkdk but can i request an os w/ hanzo. its a bit specific but they met each other at a familly business thingy and the girl is wearing deep red lipstick and they're kinda forced to stay together so they began talking a bit and it got flirty and hanzo just goes like "does your lipstick let marks ?" and she's like "why don't you try ?" its messy sorry dldk but i got the idea and idk, ily

Here you are!

Word Count: 1490 words.

~Fic is under the cut~

Being involved in your parents business was never your favorite thing in the world, but sometimes it had its perks. Tonight, for example, your parents had been invited to a lavish party by none other than the infamous Shimada Clan to do some business. Neither one of them would let on to what was going to be involved, but they invited you to go as well if you wished. You took them up on their offer since you had heard that this party was incredibly high class and you were basically just given a free ticket. You thought you might as well go now in case you never got the chance again.

Donning a white dress, heels and your favorite red lipstick, you entered the venue and looked around. The building was beautiful and decorated eloquently for the occasion. The slow music from the band in the main hall danced around the room, filling the ears of the partygoers. Some people sat at tables with their group or wandered around the area, mingling with others. You followed your parents to a table and sat down. Their meeting wasn’t until later, so you all had some time to get settled in.

“So,” you began. “What’s this big meeting all about anyways?”

“Business. Things that are not your concern, Y/N,” your father says.

“Right, right. So why did you let me come again?”

“I thought it was something that would interest you, dear. Just stay out of trouble,” your mom chuckles.

You roll your eyes and return your focus to the party. Your parents often tried to keep their work from you. You weren’t sure if it was to protect you or if they just didn’t want you involved. Most days you didn’t mind, but sometimes it frustrated you with how little they trusted you with. You were their only child, after all. Why couldn’t they be a little more trusting?

After dinner had finished, you excused yourself from the table to let your parents have their little discussion. It really was a wonderful occasion. The hosts were some rich people that you didn’t know, and they sold tickets to this event to the highest bidders. How your parents managed to get them free, you had no idea. Whatever this meeting was about, it must’ve been pretty important if it warranted giving us free entry. These tickets never came cheap. Everybody here was dressed eloquently and spoke in a sophisticated voice. Being the daughter of two of the biggest crime bosses in the world, you felt a little out of place. Not to mention, it seemed that you were the only person in your age group who was attending this party. Everybody else you had seen was at least fifteen to twenty years older than you.

You made your way onto the balcony area and gazed up at the sky, taking in the beauty of the evening. The stars hung high in the sky above you, illuminating the dark void of the rest of the universe. The air of the cool spring evening surrounded you as you stargazed, no longer paying attention the the event. The music and commotion coming from inside eventually faded into background noise.

“You must be Y/N,” you hear, suddenly ripped from your daze.

You turn around and are met with a man, slightly taller than you, but looking similar to you in age. He is dressed elegantly for the event.

“Yes that’s me, and who might you be?” you question.

“Hanzo Shimada, I believe your parents are meeting with my father to discuss some business. I saw you with them earlier.”

“Oh, yes. I was with them earlier, but my parents like to do their work by themselves, so I figured I’d give them some privacy. What about you? Shouldn’t you be with your father?”

“I have no place in this discussion tonight, so I will wait for him to be finished. I saw you when I walked by and decided to introduce myself. I feel our families will be seeing each other more frequently after tonight.”

“Yes, it does seem that way. Whatever they are doing seemed very important.”

Your conversation is interrupted by a waiter approaching the two of you. He holds a platter with numerous filled glasses.

“Can I interest either of you in a drink?” he asks.

“Of course,” Hanzo replies. “This is a celebration, after all.”

He takes two glasses, one of which he offers to you. You take it out of his hand with a smile. The waiter moves on to other partygoers.

“A toast,” Hanzo says. “To a future of successful business between our families.”

“Agreed.”

You raise your glasses to each other before taking a sip of the beverage. You suddenly felt very official, being dressed up all nice at this fancy party and toasting to the future of your respective businesses. It made you hold your head a little higher and feel more daring than you usually would.

After talking for a while with Hanzo, the two of you decided to spend the remainder of the evening together as it was assured that both of your parents would be busy. You had both finished your drinks and wandered inside, continuing your conversation. Your ears picked up the sound of the band playing again, and your attention turned to the ballroom floor for a moment.

“Beautiful music, is it not?” Hanzo asks. “These musicians are very talented indeed.”

“I agree, and look at everyone dancing. It seems everyone is having a good time.”

“Yes, they do seem to be enjoying themselves.”

There are a few moments of silence as you and Hanzo take in the other guests dancing and enjoying the slow melody of the music. You found yourself swaying back and forth gently as you listened.

“Y/N, would you do me the pleasure of joining me for a dance?” he asks.

You turn to him, slightly taken aback.

“Me? Are you sure?”

“Of course. It would be a shame to come to such an occasion and not have even one dance, and, after all, I do have the perfect partner,” he says, smiling.

That comment makes warmth crawl onto your face. You stutter a bit, trying to figure out what to say. He just smirks and offers you his arm. You take it and he leads you out onto the dance floor. The two of you find a nice spot and turn to face each other. He takes your left hand in his right, and snakes his other around your lower back. You place your hand on his shoulder as the two of you start to sway gently back and forth to the music. He looks down at you and smiles.

“I must say, you are dresses very beautifully tonight,” Hanzo says, suddenly.

“Oh, well thank you. I really love this dress and I finally had an excuse to wear it again,” you reply, blushing.

“It pairs well with the lipstick you chose. I think they are an excellent pair.”

You give a slight chuckle and glance up into his eyes. He looked handsome as well, but you couldn’t really find the words for it at the moment. You were too starstruck to even think, let alone speak.

“I must ask,” he chuckles. “Does it stay on or does it leave marks? As far as I know, most girls who wear bold colors say it comes off.”

“Hmm, why don’t you find out?”

He looked down at you and raised an eyebrow. You felt daring when you thought of that, but hearing it come out of your mouth just drowned you in embarrassment. The flirty feelings you were experiencing only moments before suddenly turned to shame. You felt your face go from bright red to pale white in a matter of seconds.

“Uh, I mean…”

You scrambled to find a reasonable explanation for what you had just said, but nothing came to mind. You looked up to meet his gaze again when his lips suddenly met yours. It took you a second to realize what was happening, but when you did, you closed your eyes and relaxed into his arms. He let his your hand go and used his now free hand to pull you closer. You took your hands and put them gently on either side of his face. The two of you remained there for a few seconds, letting the gentle music float around you. He pulled away gently, and only then did you see how red his face was. Yours was probably the same way, but if it was, he didn’t comment on it.

“What was that for?” you ask, breathless.

“I wanted to find out,” he replies, smirking.

You giggle and press your head into his shoulder, embracing him. He pulls you closer into his arms as the two of you continue sharing a gentle dance on this now wonderful night.

#hanzo shimada #hanzo x reader #Overwatch #overwatch imagines

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