#idk we're just frustrated that it feels like we can't get any sense of stability
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#it's me#tw vent#kinda#the neuro diverges#we're fffairly certain we have ocpd#we questioned it a couple years ago and even tentatively confirmed it#but then we dropped it#in part because it never seemed like our ex really cared to understand it or how it might affect us#and so we thought ''oh well maybe it doesn't affect us''#all mentions of it were met with awkwardness and palpable disinterest#let alone us talking in depth about it#ironically enough our questioning of ocpd has itself become an obsession related to what is likely ocpd#it meshes very easily into npd and avpd#tbh the only pd it really clashes with is aspd#but even then like. not really? or at least not always#obsessive desire for control to feel safe and obsessive desire for power over others to feel safe kind of go hand in hand#and also ocpd would explain some of the ''szpd'' symptoms that weren't fully explained by avpd & others#idk we're just frustrated that it feels like we can't get any sense of stability#but hey anybody who is familiar with our constant ever-present need for control (aka anyone who follows our blogs lmao) would probably say-#--''yeah that tracks'' (about the ocpd)
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