#idk tim leary was probably fucked up but he had that bit 100% right.

[horce-divorce]

there is so much evil in this world... I bought a spice blend at TJ Maxx bc it was a huge jar and I'm a broke bitch. I had used the blend once before and it was awesome so that was good enough for me. I knew it was a middle eastern spice blend, but this is an area with a ton of middle eastern people, so I didn't think much of it at first.

It's za'atar.

Foraging this plant is banned in Palestine, and yet I, an American, can walk into a TJ Maxx, and buy a huge jar of it, at a discount, without even realizing the significance of that item.

A tale as old as time, surely (we all know the bit about how the English colonized 75% of the planet for spices they refuse to touch)....

But made all that more visibly evil and heart wrenching for the fact that I've had dozens of hungry Palestinians begging for help in my own personal inbox for over a year.

Consumerism is not worth this. Creature comforts are not worth this. It isn't. Nothing is worth this. I can't stand to keep living in a world that values little jars of spices more than human life. How is everyone not furious? How do you just keep going to work and buying shit like normal, even after the last 5 years??

And yeah I know "homelessness is a good motivator." Trust me. I've been homeless for the better part of a decade, and I'm too disabled to participate in this circus you call "normal" life. I've been denied entry.

I know they tell you that homelessness and being destitute is the worst thing that can happen to you, but I'm here to say it's not. It is not safe, nor comfortable, nor secure, but neither is the lie you're living now. The one that tells you if you work hard, you'll be safe and get what you deserve. I'm disabled and I'm surviving out here without jack fucking shit, just like Palestinians are in Gaza, just like humans always have. Why are you all so quick and eager to protect and justify jobs that don't pay you enough, landlords that are chomping at the bit to evict you, ableist, white supremacist families who don't see you for who you are, all to hold up a way of life that's making you sick? All so that someday, maybe, in the evening of your lifetime, you will finally be able to enjoy it and relax and live for once.

like sure it is no measure of health to be adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

So why do we keep adjusting to it.

They keep moving the bar and we keep going 'sigh, okay. Here we go again.' and we make memes and then we go back to work.

I am so fucking serious when I say we need to stop spending money. We need to stop going to work. I don't mean a big boycott or a strike, I mean a total and complete paradigm shift and a new way of life. I mean shifting your energy to the work of being and staying alive rather than wage labor.

Cause that's the trade off of homelessness, actually. It might kill you, just as surely as overwork and Covid and anything else might. It might kill my disabled ass, just as surely as I would have died if I continued to work and try to 'maintain normalcy.' now, instead of trading my time for credits that can be used for goods and services, my time- and the value of my time- goes directly to me. Yes, I spend more time securing basic necessities than employed folk have to. Yes, I have at times had to walk 3 miles round trip for clean water.

Yes, it is worth it to me.

Plenty of us are already out here living a homeless life by force, and most of us are disabled (disabled people and CHILDREN make up the vast majority of homeless ppl. Btw. Addicts are a tiny but visible minority).

So I don't want to hear jack shit about how hard it would be to give up your life and your housing and your job. I. KNOW. I didn't have that fucking choice, it was made FOR me, and I'm still alive.

I didn't choose this, but a lot of us did. and a lot of people who didn't choose it to begin with can also not stand to return to 'normal' life. A lot of car and van lifers cannot stand to go back to renting once they get a taste of Not Renting. Whether they asked for it or not. I've even met so many people who travel on foot, who hitchhike and hop trains, urban camping in hidden spots, in overgrown patches and empty buildings and on rooftops, and a lot of those folks couldn't go back, either.

You know they lie. They lie about history, they lie about current events, they lie about the very things you're going through to your face. And yet you believe them when they say your life will end and you'll be nothing without this? You believe it when they lie and say the ONLY power you have is to vote. You believe them when they say your life would be forfeit if you became homeless or disabled. You KNOW they need us more than we need them, but you still cower from the threats implied in their lies- that if we really actually stood up for ourselves, we'd be hurting our families and loved ones more than by complying.

The threat of oblivion is a lie, just like the rest of it is. homelessness has not ruined or ended my life. I'm still living it, a long with MILLIONS of people in the USA and more joining us each day. I'm in the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been in, I make art, I have hobbies, I get involved in my community, I travel. Id never have done any of that if I wasn't homeless.

Yes we are disabled, yes we have to rely on a lot of outside help. But it works and we both survive. And we are both living a much more fulfilling life than we did when we were housed and working. Not less frustrating, not less dangerous, certainly not easier, not less lonely. People look down on us and try to withhold our humanity from us at every turn.

But we are disabled and trans and autistic and traumatized... so that's really no different for us than before - and now, we live a life that's more fulfilling for us. More in tune with our values. More time spent on ourselves and each other than passing thru a middleman to turn it into gold- then passing it again thru more middlemen who then allow or deny me the right to continue living my life. Yes, time spent on survival is, to me, time better spent than doing menial, pointless work to garner profit for some dipshit CEOs while I keep the tiniest possible scrap that can sort of maybe afford some of my necessities. That's true now, too, and I have more time to myself.

Sorry to be harsh but like, if you're afraid that non-conformity will make you lose your life, you've already lost it.