#idk there lots of filters of ‘could be wrong’ I’ve gone through here

[emry-stars-art]

I’ve spent far too long on this

Edit: here he is

There is little to boost my mood like finding a great Andrew reference to draw and inflict upon all of us as soon as physically possible 😌

[swiss-cheeze]

French Road, East || Spencer Reid

Request: YES/NO: Hi! Do you take requests?? If you do, can I please request a Spencer x Reader (Including the BAU), where they are dating and the reader is a year or so younger than spencer, but just as smart and very loved by the team, and one day she has to save the team from an unsub and gets really hurt and after everyone is safe they are all really worried about her?? Idk if that made sense at all. Love you work!

A/N: OKAY SO, myself and a few other tumblr accounts got sent this exact same request from the same requester. I have spoken with all of the accounts i know of that have gotten the request and we have all mutually agreed that we will continue with our own fics in our own way on the basis/sense of ‘every writer is different and it's cool to see how others interpret the same request’, please go check out their fics too but please also dont message any of us about this little thing thats happened or saying one was better than the other because that's not what we’re doing here.

We write because we love writing and we love making worlds and being creative, this is a mutual agreement, yes we’re not too pleased with this happening but we are fine with going ahead with both of our fics.

Thank you.

A/N: I also got a little carried away with this little thing and kind of forgot about the ‘they get hurt’ part and instead left the end open for angst purposes; possibly a second part if requested? I don't know. This is also 10 full pages on Google Docs.

Words: 5727

Gender: they/them, none.

Warnings: descripton of people being beaten, kidnapping, mention and use of drugs, previous trauma of the BAU team brought to light, mentions of sexual abuse and assualt, mentions of possible rape.

Description: when 6/8 of the BAU team gets kidnapped, it's up to you and Garcia to find them before it's too late, but what happens when an old nightmare may consume someone's life again?

PART 2: https://snitchthewitch.tumblr.com/post/626602019637149696/french-road-east-apartment-23-spencer-reid

------

Spencer had slept over at Dereks after they had both consulted over their paperwork while you had gone to yours and Spencer's apartment alone, normally you two would arrive at work together with coffee ready for the day but today it just felt...off. Coffee in hand you entered the elevator and checked your work phone for any missed messages.

Derek Morgan phone (4)

Derek Morgan imessage (6)

Spencer Reid phone (2)

Spencer Reid imessage (4)

Okay, that was a bit weird. They normally called once, maybe twice, had your phone shut down last night? As you entered onto level 6 you stepped off to the side of the opening on the hallway, out of people's way, as you opened your phone for the messages, Derek first.

‘Going out with Spence and Pen’

‘Spencer misses you’

‘Pen says she wants to hug you’

‘We’re fucjlkeddd’

‘I don't think somethings okay’

‘Pick up’

Fuck, okay, maybe they just encountered a mugger? Spencer next.

‘mISS YOUUU’

‘Derek ssaysys he doeessdnt frrl ojay’

‘Someoned follow us’

‘French road, east’

What the fuck? So apparently they got followed? And then? What the hell is french road east? Was it an actual road to the east? Maybe the voice messages would help.

“HEY (Y/N/N)!” its Derek, “WE’RE HAVING OUR BEST TIME! WISH YOU WERE HERE!” the music was as loud as Derek was shouting in your ear, you couldn't help but smile.

“(Y/N)!” Spencer, “I MISS YOUUU!” you laughed at his drunk talking, “SHOTS!” and it finished.

“Hey (Y/n), we’re uh,” a laugh, it's Derek, “we’re walking back to my place now, with Pen and Pretty Boy over here,” you heard a faint shout of your name before laughter and the call ended. There was one voice message left, “someones following us. Under six foot, black clothes and looks disarmed but I can't tell from where we are and it's dark. I'll update you later (Y/n), i'll keep Pretty Ricky safe. I promise” and that was it. You brought your phone away from your ear and looked at it skeptically, Derek's story was backed up by Spencer because they both said they were being followed, Garcia hasn't messaged you though, she probably got cut off from her phone before anything happened, probably in Derek's pants pocket. Maybe they were playing a prank? No they wouldn't, Derek’s voice was too certain to be a prank. You shook your head from the thoughts before walking into the Bullpen and dumping your bag at your desk and looking around, Anderson, Mike, Daffey, even Esmerelda was at work today and yet you couldn't spot a single one of your teammates.

Okay, maybe they all slept in? You walked up to Hotch's office and knocked before putting your head through the door; looks the same as it was left. Funny. Hotch was always the first one in, if he ever left at all. You walked to Rossi's office and yet this was the same as Hotch’s; untouched and unmoved. Okay, this was a little scary, you made your way to the conference room with quick feet as the creek of the door being opened sent a shiver down your spine as no one was waiting for a case or even grabbing coffee, but you did notice the one folder that sat alone in the middle of the table. Cautiously, you made your way over to the file, picked it up and opened it, the photos inside the folder almost made you throw up.

Hotch, Emily, Derek, Spencer, JJ and Rossi were all sitting against a wall, beaten, bruised and dirty, arms positioned behind their backs. Underneath the photo was a piece of paper with bold red writing, almost blood like.

YOU WERE WRONG.

Your throat constricted as your breathing increased, you started hyperventilating as you heard the click clack of a certain pair of heels.

“(Y/N)!” Garcia yelled, she was running as quickly as she could with her platform, a file and laptop in her arms, “the-the team they've” she took a breath, “they've been taken, captured, abducted!” it took Garcia a few seconds to realise that you were close to fainting. Garcia put her things down on the table as she directed you to sit in a chair, got you a cup of water and started the breathing exercises that she remembered Spencer teaching her, he taught everyone tricks to help those when having a panic or anxiety attack as its something they would definitely encounter during their time with both agents, victims and unsubs, a few minutes passed and you finally calmed down.

“T-they, they tried to contact me” you said quietly as you looked at Garcia who was red eyed.

“And i was there (Y/n), they dropped me off home and where going back to Dereks, i didn't know if they made it or not because i had already past out by the time my head hit the pillow” Garcia reminded you, it took you a moment to realise but you where both in the same situation, and you nodded as the plan started coming together in your mind.

“Okay,” you stood up as Garcia opened her laptop, “when did you find out?” you asked, you needed to determine how long each of you knew the team was missing.

“I unlocked the batcave and I had the same file on my desk, when I saw the photos I ran up here and then to you,” you nodded as Garcia spoke.

“Okay, I want cameras of every place each of our team members have been, bars, apartments, anything and everything. See if there are any recurring cars or bikes or vans that drive past the streets, do facial recognition on anyone following them like with Reid and Morgan, see if it's happened to all of them.” you took a breath as you called in someone from the bullpen and handed them both the files you and Garcia had been given, “Get this to the lab for fingerprints, this is top priority; we have a team missing” you'd told them, they nodded slightly scared and confused before walking off as Garcia started talking.

“I've got the filters on and they're searching but it's going to take some time,” Garcia said sadly.

“Look up previous cases the BAU has had including the words ‘you were wrong’, ‘French Road’ and ‘East’, possibly other words like ‘it was wrong’, ‘they are/were wrong’ that type of thing, date it back to Rossi's days,” you ordered Garcia.

“(Y/n), a lot of those files are physical if you go back to Rossi,” the tech analyst reminded you.

“I know but still, set filters for that and go as far back as you're able, tell me if you get any hits, i'm going to go down to the file room and i'm going to go back as far as Rossi's days for the physical copies until he started going digital,” you told Garcia, she looked reluctant to let you go so you moved to where she was sitting and you gave her a large hug, “we’ll find them Pen, i promise” you mumbled into her cherry scented hair.

“What about Spencer?” she asked softly as the two of you let go of each other.

“He sent me a message saying ‘french road east’, that has to mean something,” you smiled, “i'm going to try and find that road through all of DC and if there's a hit i'm going to go there and see what's up with it, it might be where they were taken or a street Spencer noted as an important thing for us to know” Garcia nodded and quickly sat back down and started typing on her laptop as you left.

God only knows what your teammates are going through right now.

-----

“YOU SON OF A BITCH” Derek yelled as J.J. was dragged to the middle of the floor and repeatedly beaten.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT” Hotch yelled as J.J. started to whimper, the people stopped at Hotch's comment and left J.J. on the floor, Emily and Spencer scrambling with their hands bound to get to their teammate, making sure she was okay.

“What do we want? We want you guys on our side!” one of the people said, he was happy, how could this make anyone happy?

“FBI agents in our group? We’d rule the world!” another one exclaimed as the rest of the group laughed.

“It obviously took a lot of time and planning didn't it? To capture all of us” Hotch said cooly, though on the inside he was boiling.

“Six months,” someone said, it was a new voice that came from the entrance of...the sewers? Poor Spencer was probably having an attack with all these germs.

“Hey boss! We got ‘em” another one said, god there was too many to remember.

“I can see, you missed two though” the Boss said as he looked at the team, a few of his men dragged Emily, Spencer and J.J. back to the wall they all sat at, “genius's lover, and the black guy's girlfriend” the man noted as his men became eerily quiet.

“The blonde girl was with that skinny guy,” a man pointed to Spencer, “And that one,” he pointed to Derek, “but they kept going to crowded places and bumping into people that we couldn't get them, and the other...one”

“The sexy one?” the boss's voice rang out with a grin.

“YOU LEAVE (Y/N) OUT OF THIS YOU BAS-” Spencer yelled before one of the men kicked him in the stomach, causing him to cough harshly.

“Shut it druggie” the Boss said, the looks on the teams faces gave him all the pleasure, “oh yeah, we know all about you guys; how Hotchner lost his wife, Rossi has had 3 divorces, Morgan was sexually abused, Prentiss has had an abortion at 15 and J.J., sweet little J.J. had a miscarrige” snickers from the men could be heard as the team looked away, embarrassment? No, just confused as to how these people knew such intimate things about them.

“And that little lover of yours, genius?” another voice questioned, the voice came toward Spencer, gripped the poor boy's hair and ripped his head up to look up at him as a pained expression came over the doctor, “they’re in for it big!” he cackled, “gonna have a lot of fun with them when we get them later,” and with that he threw Spencer against the wall, Spencer groaned as a few of his teammates called his name but he didn't register it, only the pounding in his ears and the feeling of blood rushing down his head. And with that, the men and their boss left, the door to the sewer room shut and the click of a lock echoed around the room, the silence the team heard afterwards was loud, deafening.

------

“What’ve we got Garcia?” you asked the analyst as you walked back into the room, placing 3 files on the table in front of her.

“Okay, very few cases including those words you gave me, a lot of the cases were only one unsub or two and I highly doubt there were only two unsubs so I crossed them off and? I got nothing,” the girl sighed as she got rid of the tabs to continue working, “the facial recognition software and car registration is still going, i've got hits for all of our friends being in the places that they mentioned, all of them had unfortunately been walking at the time but they go from one camera to another and then suddenly they're gone,”

“So our unsubs are sophisticated, this definitely took time to plan and get the right things for,” you mumbled as you looked at the victim board Garcia had hastily made up on the clear plastic, each member of your team's faces were up there along with a few other colour pieces of paper for the unsubs, and that's it.

“I haven't gotten any hits on the cars either” Garcia mentioned softly, you nodded.

“Okay well, i've got three cases here that all mention those words from before. First one is a group of five unsubs from Rossis and Gideons days but a lot of them are in jail if not all of them, the second is a cult group from Missouri and the last one is a gang of over thirty people; and not all of those thirty people had been found, prosecuted, jailed, killed and etcetera you get it” you fanned out the files and opened each of them.

“Which one do we think it is?” Garcia asked, we had no leads of which one it really is, so you took a breath and read over the files.

“Okay well, the five unsubs are all in jail and only two have been let out of prison in the last six months and it wouldn't be them because they only have two people in their gang, they’re loyal so they wouldn't start a new group without the originals” you closed the file and pushed it away and moved onto the other one, “the cult is rather big but they’re based in Missouri and i don't think they’d travel all the way over here to kidnap agents. This isn't religious or anything and they are so, definitely not them” you closed the file and landed on the last one, “okay, this one,” you looked over the file as Garcia started typing away, “fifteen have gotten out of jail in the past 2 years, five where never found and the rest are still in jail” you looked to Garcia, “this could be it”

“AH HA!” Garcia exclaimed, “i have a hit on three of those people who are in the system and they are following our lovely friends” Garcia typed another second as multiple video cameras came up showing your friends walking (or stumbling depending on who it was) along with one of three people following behind them a few feet.

“It has to be them then,” you said, “i'll go back down and find the rest of the files, Garcia i want you to find every bit of land, buildings, warehouses and houses they have ever bought, i want to know what they ate for breakfast on the third of january last year, i want to know what plumbing system they used in 2016; i wante everything” you said, albeit forcefully, as you walked out of the room and towards the file room again as Anderson walked back into the conference room and handed Garcia a few papers.

“Thank you Anderson,” Garcia mumbled as he looked over the paper, and sure enough there was fingerprints that matched one of the people who followed your teammates, Garcia then pulled up the video surveillance of the BAU and the facial recognition was quick to find the man enter the room, place the folder down with glove-less hands before walking out, he had a visitors pass.

-------

The scraping of metal against the floor awoke each member of the team slowly as a few people walked into the room, placed food trays on the ground in front of each team member, uncuffed the team and then walked out. The team looked to each other as a voice floated through a P.A. system above them.

“It isn't poisoned, and if you don't eat it then that's up to you but you will starve,” and the system shut off with a harsh beep.

“Hotch?” Derek asked.

“Eat unless you want to die,” was all their unit chief said before he moved forward and started eating the sandwich he had. Emily followed suit and gave a throaty moan as she drank the water from the goblet on the tray, the others soon followed.

-------

“There's nothing,” Garcia said as you entered the room again, “they don't have any land or anything,”

“Well find something then,” you said harshly, Garcia jumped slightly at your harsh tone but started typing again as you pinned up photos of each of the members out of the prison, “have you done a deep search on each person that's out of prison and that wasn't found?” you asked Garcia.

“Yes! Yes, five of the fifteen have alibis from the night our friends got taken and i can't find the rest nor can i find those other five that were never found, they really are off the grid (Y/n)” Garcia said as her fingers flew fast against the keyboard, you looked at the clock on the other side of the room.

“Ten hours,” you muttered, “god only knows what they’re going through,” you rubbed your hand over your face and paced slightly, “we have 15 persons of interest and we can't find them, do the ones with alibis have addresses?”

“They all do, three have work and home and the other two dont work and are stay-at-home-dads, all of their names and addresses have been sent to your phone” Garcia told you as a ping from your phone sounded.

“Okay, i'm going to go and check out that place Spencer gave me before he got taken, i'm gonna grab a few other people to go to other addresses because it'll save time and then regroup back here,” you said as you pulled your phone to your ear and started calling a few people.

~

You parked the car and made your way to French Road which was, as Spencer did say, to the east of the FBI headquarters. It looked like any other little street, a few cafes and a few empty blocks, it wasn't in the city but it wasn't in the suburbs; it wasn't deserted but it wasn't crowded, you noted this. Spencer and Derek weren't taken from here because they were in the middle of the city at the time of abduction, so there has to be something here that Spencer saw to make you come here. You looked in every alleyway on both sides of the street, doing a shallow dig in the dumpsters, opening a few cafe doors and asking a few questions but ending up with nothing. You let out a huff as you looked up and down the street again, until you realised something.

This was a dead end street. The end was a large circle so cars could do a U-turn and go the opposite way, stationed at the end of the street is a path to some sort of forest/secluded jogging track, this had to be a lead, it has to be. The leaves and sticks crunched as you walked along the track, your gun positioned next to you in your hand, ready for action whenever needed, that's when your phone made a large shrill and scared you half to death.

“What is it Mike?” you asked into the receiver after realising it was the other team who was out asking questions.

“We have a lead for the group from one of the stay-at-home-dads; they’ve been planning this for awhile but haven't put effort into it except for the past six months. We couldn't get a name because the guy was too loyal and was convinced they’d come after him but he did tell us that they tried to get in contact with him to regroup, he obviously refused but they left him alone after that, one phone call and nothing else,” Mike said, you could hear the slam of a car door as he got into one of the SUVs with his partner.

“Okay, that's good Mike, get that to Garcia and see if she can try and trace that call and what tower it's pinged from,” and with that you hung up as you heard Mike say ‘got it’ before the line went dead. You looked as far down the path as you could from where you stood but didn't go any further, if this was a lead then you would need backup and probable cause as to why you're there.

~

“All five of those men checked out with the same story, they each got a call asking them to rejoin the team and they refused, the caller disconnected right after that but they haven't gotten any threats since then. Unfortunately i couldn't find a tower it was pinging from and the number was from five different burner phones too,” Garcia said as you looked over the victim board.

“Background searches with those ten we had earlier?” you asked, “found anything else?”

“Um one, he's only 26 and but its a loose thread,” the picture came onto the screen, the man looked like he could pass as 16, “James Micheal, 26, the only thing i could find was that his credit card has weird transactions over the past six months so it fits our timeline however, i can't find the account it's going to so it must be a bugged one or fake or something similar” Garcia said as she brought up the transactions.

“Found him on the streets?” you asked, Garcia grinned and brought up a video feed, and upon further inspection, plus audio, you now had a profile.

-------

“Right-o,” a voice said, the metal door screeched open causing the team to wince as he and 2 other men stepped in, “who wants to go first?” he questioned, the sickening grin could be heard through his speech as the sewer was way too dark to see 3 feet in front of them.

“Grab the kid, he had the addiction,” another voice muttered before the men moved forward.

“HEY FUCK OFF,” Spencer yelled as two of the men tried to pin him down, Derek started scrambling towards Spencer to help but after a nasty blow to the jaw he backed away with guilt.

“Get the needle,” one of them said, this caused Spencer to tense, fuckfuckfuckfuck, this can't be happening, no way are they gonna inject him again.

“Look nerd, it's your old friend!” the first man said as he shook a small clear bottle in the slim stream of light from the roof, and sure enough there was a label with the one word that caused Spencer's fight or flight to make its appearance, Dilaudid.

“NO, DON'T YOU D-” a punch to the jaw caused Spencer to splutter and breath heavily as his arm was grabbed roughly, tied and the needle entered into his skin and vein, he sobbed. The team heard Spencer whimper as he felt the liquid inject into his veins and bloodstream, the telltale shortness of breath was quick to take its mark along with the immediate drowsiness as the men walked out without saying another word.

“SPENCE” J.J. exclaimed as the man in question fell into a slumber and the team crowded around the twitching boy, it was just like last time.

“Protect him,” Hotch said, “don't let them take him in this state, fight, bite, kick, i dont give a single shit,” the team looked at Hotch and nodded as they all took a silent oath to protect their friend.

------

“Our unsubs are up to ten people, possibly fifteen or more if they have recruited new people,” you started the profile with Garcia standing next to you, “we have one person of interest as of right now, James Micheal, we have video evidence and audio evidence of him speaking to each member of the BAU team trying to proposition them, as you all know a few of our team members would have ignored him, and a few would have talked or said a simple no; those who didn't say anything he continued to walk next to and annoy until that team member said something,” you took a breath, “we have evidence of James stalking the BAU team for the past 4 months from their work, to their home, to where they go for dinner on a special night or the bar; this includes both myself and Garcia in this stalking pile, we have added extra security to our own homes.”

“James has been making up to five thousand dollar transactions to some bugged account for the past six months and another two thousand dollars to a seperate account 2 months prior to those first six months,” Garcia was now delivering the digital trail, “this means he has been with this team for at least eight months, possibly more, he is most likely new, shy and unsure of what he is doing. James is being used and he knows he is but he has no way out as our unsubs keep saying things like ‘ill kill your family’, ‘you're nothing without us’, stuff like that,” Garcia used her hands to talk as she also pointed to the victim board to the photo of James’ driver's license.

“This team on unsubs are highly dangerous and we must proceed with caution around and with them, they all have gotten out of jail in the past 2 years and they obviously have a vengeance plan, please remember this. We also have a lead to where this team of unsubs could possibly be hiding but until we have James we cannot infiltrate the area. There is a fake missing person report out for James so we can hopefully get him into questioning, thank you,” and with that the people around you filtered away back to where they were meant to be going. You turned to Garcia.

“Do you think that was enough? What if we don't get to them wh-”

“Garcia stop, we cant think like that, we are the best of the best even without the team, okay?” you held Garcia enough to ground her as she nodded and wiped her tears.

“SSA (L/n)?” a new voice asked, you looked to the glass doors and sure enough, James Micheal was waiting there.

“James,” you said as you walked towards him.

“I saw the flyers and I just have one proposition,” James said, his voice was deep and definitely didn't match his face.

“What is it?” you asked as you walked to the interrogation room and allowed James to sit down in front of you with your back to the mirror, Garcia and Anderson were already standing in the small room before the interrogation room.

“I want protection until those guys are back in prison, i don't want them anywhere near me and i don't want them to find me,” James said, his voice was ridden with anxiety, you nodded.

“We can do that James, it's alright,” you reassured the man in front of you, “can you tell us who is in this group? Where are they staying?” you asked, James nodded.

“There's ten in the group, they're off the beaten track down some street in the east-”

“French Road?” you questioned, James nodded.

“Yeah, yeah that one,” he agreed, that was everything you needed from the previous encounter, “they don't have a lot of security but they’re pretty sophisticated with what they have on hand. They know everything about all of that team though,” Jack mentioned, “Emily got an abortion and that Red dude?”

“Reid” you corrected.

“Reid, they know of his Dilaudid thing and Hotch and his wife - they know everything,” Jack was shaking now, “they-they said they were going to use that against the team, the addiction, the trauma all of that”

“They’re going to dose Reid?” you asked with your shaken voice, that wasn't a good thing. Jack nodded as he looked to the clock.

“Most likely have already,” he whispered, you looked to the clock, 12 hours since the disappearance. Fuck. You nodded.

“You’ll be taken by another agent to a safe house and let out when this team is apprehended,” was all you said before walking out of the room and letting the door shut behind you. Your throat tightened and you couldn't breath as you sunk to your knees, Garcia and Anderson rushing to you.

“Breath (Y/n), breath” Garcia reminded you, “breath with me my sweetness” she said, Garcia made more effort to show her breathing as you tried to copy her, a few minutes passed before you had finally calmed down, tears streaked your eyes as you bumbled your words.

“I-its French road, Spencer was onto something,” you mumbled softly, “th-they know everything, from Reid's addi-addiction to Emily, and Hotch's wife,” you took a deep breath, “I-I want S.W.A.T. stationed with me, w-we’re going to infiltrate that place with the hel-lp of Jack and his direction-ns, possibly a map,” you looked to Anderson who nodded and walked out while taking out his phone to call for S.W.A.T., “Garcia i dont want you there,” you said, looking at the girl, she nodded in understanding as you stood up and started walking towards the way of the S.W.A.T. team.

------

J.J, Derek, Emily, Hotch and Rossi all whimpered as each member got kicked, punched, pulled, twisted and everything in between, Spencer was only just coming to from the drugs.

“N-no, dont,” Spencer whimpered, he was weak and could barely open his eyes but soon slipped back into a slumber.

“Y-you won't get away with this,” Emily whispered as one of the men gripped her jaw, her voice hoarse and scratchy.

“Oh darling, we will,” the man grinned as he threw the girl to the floor as the others piled the team on top of the others, all groaning and silently crying.

In retrospect, (Y/n) was rather glad that all members of the team were in the room when the door was busted open.

“FBI, PUT YOUR HANDS UP,” you yelled, the words echoing around the room, the men snickered as S.W.A.T. trained their guns on the men.

“It’s alright boys,” the boss said, your eyes trained towards the voice.

“Let. My team. Go,” you said calmly, gun now cocked, the man laughed.

“Go on boys,” the men moved out of the room but the boss stayed standing.

“Grab the team,” you said to S.W.A.T. behind you, the men walked in slowly and trusted you with your trained gun as they started carrying or walking out your team members, one having to cradle Spencer bridal style, “ambulance,” you said into the mic on your vest, “we need an ambulance for a poentional OD, Dilaudid was used, possibly a cocktail of other drugs but its unknown. Dont use other narcotics and if i find out you do i will be going to jail due to murder of doctors and nurses,” the sirens wailed in the distance.

“You’ve got tendencies too,” the boss said in front of you, “murder, killing, everything” you scoffed.

“Everyone does, its whether we have the empathy and understanding of ‘that's wrong’, which is why we don't do it unlike you people,” you seethed through your teeth, “hands up, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and torture of six FBI agents,” the man stayed silent for a moment.

“(Y/n) (L/n),” the man said, “pathetically in love with Agent Spencer Re-”

“It’s Doctor,” a voice said behind you, the cock of a gun could be heard before the tell-tale sound of a bullet being fired next to you, your natural reflexes made you dive to the right (as the bullet came from the left) as the boss was hit in the forehead and fell to the floor. You looked to the gun carrier.

Spencer Reid.

Gun held out straight, no tremble and a stern look.

Spencer looked to you and tears immediately spilled from his eyes as you stayed stone against the floor, “i see you got my message,” Spencer said softly with a smile before he collapsed to the floor in a heap of limbs, the gun clattering to the floor as paramedics rush to Spencers aid.

It seemed to go in slow motion, everything whizzed past you as other paramedics helped you to your feet, your eyes glassy and vision blurred as you got brought to the back of an ambulance. Around you each member of your team was being attended to, brought to a stretcher and taken in another ambulance, eight ambulance’s in total.

It was okay, you got all of the men, all of your team was safe.

Except.

“HES FLATLINING”

“We need to get him to the hospital NOW!”

“HE'S GOING TO O.D.”

[iceeckos12]

tma fic recs

I’ve seen a couple of fic rec posts floating around. since ive been reading so many excellent fic recently, i thought that id make one as well! please note this list is going to be 99% jonmartin. also buckle up, because this is going to get long.

Completed

the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet)

"And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella" - holdthosebees

Notes: This is probably my go-to fic if i want an apocalypse never happened scenario. The jonmartin is wonderful, as is the h/c.

Diary and Prenon-nous la main by luftballoons99

Diary summary:

Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.

or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.

Prenon-nous la main summary:

They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.

or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.

Notes: Do you love impeccable safehouse jonmartin characterization? do you love characters grappling with the mortifying ordeal of being known? do you love softness so tender that it makes you want to weep? please read these fic. im begging you.

i’ll tell you about all the times i’ve smiled because of you by cryptidkidprem

Summary:

Martin thinks about their shoes, sitting beside each other on the floor by the bed. Thinks of the way Jon wears Martin’s cardigans more often than he wears his own, the way Martin’s started keeping elastics around his wrist because Jon always forgets his own when they go out.

He thinks about all the gentle touches and fussing over each other they’ve done, and how much is still to come over the next… however long Jon will have him.

They have a long way to go, an entire life to build out of the wreckage Jonah Magnus and Peter Lukas left them, but laying together in a comfortable, sleepy quiet, Martin thinks they’ve got a good start going.

Or, Jon quits the Institute, saves the world, and it turns out to be exactly what he needs in order to heal and start moving forward towards building a life with Martin.

Notes: how many times have i reread this fic? more than i can count. jon quits the institute and it’s just full of soft jonmartins. they get married! god i love them.

go softly by doomcountry

Summary:

And there is nothing else besides this.

Notes: every time i remember this fic i reread it. please heed the tags because martin is blinding jon, but he’s like. blinding jon in the most heartbreaking way possible. idk how the author made this so tender but i know i was certainly crying so!

The Reverb in These Holy Halls by  Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)

Summary:

Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.

Notes: Do you like time travel fixits? i sure like time travel fixits. reverb is an excellent one. heavy on the h/c, I wanted to hug jon so so badly. 

Yesterday is Here by  CirrusGrey

Summary:

"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking. The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him. "I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint. -------- Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.

Notes: Yet another time travel fixit! also excellent. the teasing was HYSTERICAL. also Im just going to say this now - CirrusGrey in general writes incredible tma fic. You can’t really go wrong.

unassigned supplementals by  bibliocratic 

Notes: I won’t put in a summary just because it’s a long series of oneshots, but bibliocratic’s writing is amazing. Again, you can’t really go wrong with one of their fic!

let the soft animal of your body by autoclaves

Summary:

Standing in the warm kitchen, slats of sepia light filtering through onto the counter in front of him, Martin doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He half expects them to go through the countertop entirely, glossy and solid as it is. He isn’t used to any of it, yet. The safehouse. Jon. Beams of sun pouring into his hands. After being deprived of everything of significance for so long, the longing that crashes over him is almost painful in its tangibility. He wants to laugh, to sob, to scream and hear it echoed back against the neat, square walls of the safehouse.

In the end, he doesn’t do any of these things. He makes eggs instead. He can do that, can’t he? Use his hands for something simple and plain and good.

(Or: In the safehouse after it all, Martin starts cooking.)

Notes: this fic really speaks to me a) because i project on martin like crazy and b) because food is also my love language. this fic is incredibly soft and it’s all about cooking!

“Have you tried turning it on and off again?” by shinyopals

Summary:

I hope you find your new role as Head of the Institute as rewarding as captaining the Tundra, wrote Elias Bouchard, to Peter Lukas. There are so many people working there: all with their own interesting lives, and all desiring your attention and support. I'm sure you will relish the challenge it will bring and enjoy every moment spent with the fine men and women of the Institute. In time I'm confident they'll become like a family to you.

The Magnus Institute has a new boss. The Magnus Institute also has a new tech support technician. These two facts are unrelated, except they both happen at the same time.

Meanwhile Jon's woken up from being dead for six months and for once he's trying his best. He just wishes Martin would stop avoiding him and answer his messages...

Notes: if you’re looking for a good laugh, this fic is SO SO SO FUNNY. i was dying. basically the magnus institute being an absolute bureaucratic nightmare.

hello my old heart  by  firebirdsuite

Summary:

Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.

Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.

Notes: it’s all about the yearning. and trust me, the yearning in this fic? im just. i sure do love jonmartin, and this is such soft, loving jonmartin it just makes you want to cry

two ships passing by pyrites

Summary:

Gerard Keay is 10 years old the very first time he tries to run away from home, right around the time that Jonathan Sims has just come into possession of his first Leitner.

Or: One dropped stone can change the way the whole ocean moves.

Notes: again, JONGERRY. MY GOODNESS. this fic is beautiful, the writing is absolutely breathtaking and it owns my heart. im so in love with it. the author said you’re going to have emotions about jon and gerry and jongerry and i said OKAY

Terminal Sight by viv_is_spooky

Summary:

Spider silk weaves through the visions of two Seers. Monstrosity is dawning on them both.

Notes: I’d never read a gerryoliver fic before this, but the execution is EXCELLENT and now im sold on the ship forever. This fic has wonderful prose and great characterization and i love it a whole lot.

Incomplete

assistant archivist au by  PitViperOfDoom

Notes: I won’t put a summary since I’m reccing an entire series, but. it is absolutely no secret that i adore jongerry. pit’s assistant archivist au slapped me over the head with some gorgeous jongerry oneshots and then gave me the gift of the main fic (which is still in progress) about head archivist martin. i love this au so so much

dustsceawung by  callmearcturus

Summary:

Martin had always been favored by the summer courts, and moving up north to the little village of Lacuna is a difficult adjustment. It's rainy and lonely and everyone seems to have a strange, distant relationship with the local faerie court.

However: there is a strange man in a cloak who walks past Martin's remote little cottage every few days.

However: there is a moth that keeps getting stuck in Martin's house during the rain.

These events are not as disconnected as they first appear.

Notes: you ever just read a fic that you didn’t know that you needed until after you read it? yeah. featuring the fae and moth jon and excellent characterization.

Illicio by ThatOneGirlBehindYou

As the new Archivist debates between life and death, the Eye ponders on what to offer him in order to avoid an encore of the unfortunate situation with his predecessor.

-----

Gerard Keay opens his eyes at what feels like fuck-ass in the morning, inside a room with far too little space and far too much dust.

Notes: This is also the moment where I reveal that im a sucker for jongerrymartin. please read this fic. gerry is brought back from the dead in s4 and everyone is far better off for it.

where there’s a will, we make a way by bubonickitten

Summary:

"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself?

What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first."

________________________

Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

Notes: this time travel fixit is shaping up to be an absolutely incredible read. i love the way this author writes jon so so much, and the characterization is spot on. this whole fic just satisfies some little part of me. god. also!! bubonickitten’s writing in general? beautiful. please check out their other works.

The Timeline of Theseus by Applea

Jon tries to force the Spiral to send him back, but the Sprial's corridors never twist things quite the way you want them to. Back in 1996, Elias has no idea why or how the Eye made such a powerful Avatar out of an 8 year old, especially when said 8 year old doesn't actually know he has any powers at all. Clearly such a child cannot be left outside the Institute's care. 

Notes: This fic is legitimately brilliant. The author manages to capture the big ADHD mood and the precociousness of baby Jon while managing to write a wonderful storyline. Time travel! Elderly lesbians! A Jonah who is wildly in over his head but was walloped over the head with paternal instinct! Baby Gerry! What more could you possibly ask for?

rooms full of people who do not love each other yet by seaer

Summary:

“Wanted to ask about a book.” The boy has his hand on the counter, and he leans into it, nonchalant. The library is air-conditioned, but by no means frigid, and Jon can’t help but feel sweaty just looking at the layers he’s wearing; what looks like old leather over an olive-green Magnus pullover over his school shirt. “Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”

Jon says, tetchily, “We’re about to close.”

“I know. Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”

Notes: I am so in love with this author’s writing style and the way they write the characters!! The jon and gerry friendship is PERFECT and the character interactions are all darling.

if you read these fics please send the authors some love, they definitely deserve it!! 

[inside-of-a-fangirls-mind]

The White Wolf’s Dance; Chapter 4

Notes; AHHH I’m sorry this took so long, between helping my mom make masks for her job and my own job it’s been crazy. I didn’t realize this was already done and I edited it already. That’s my bad. It’s not my best but I hope you like it. 

Words; 3,451

Pairing; Geralt X Reader

Warnings; Smutty ish kinda. It’s in the beginning. Drunk reader. Maybe cursing? I curse a lot idk. 

(I do not own anything witcher or the gifs above!)

Tag List; @yuminyg​ @andyl394​ @grumgoblin​ @ayamenimthiriel​ @tapismyforte​ @wintersoldierslut​

(If you wanna be added to the tag list let me know!)

                      Chapter 4; Something Accidental 

"Y/N" Geralt whispered in your ear as your eyes met, his tongue whipping out to lick his lips. Your eyes glance down a moment before back into his gorgeous amber eyes.

"Geralt." You whispered back at his hand slide up to cup your face, you leaned in and closed your eyes and when his lips met yours you were nothing but a puddle of mush beneath the witcher. Your mouths moved in a rhythm that sent shivers through your body and had your heart racing.

He pulled back long enough for you to feel his hot breath on your lips, the way his pupils were lust blown started some heat between your legs. You bit your lip for a moment just gazing back at the man above you. "Y/N" He whispered again, forehead pressing to yours before pulling you into another deep kiss. Your tongues rolling over each others' as if you had down this for years. Every move in perfect sequence.

You moan into the kiss, reaching out to pull him closer to you, needing to touch him anywhere and everywhere. A small chuckle left his lips as he pulled away and trailed kisses down your neck. "You need to get up now." He whispered, his coarse voice shaking your soul.

"Why? I'm quite comfortable here?" You tease back before sliding your hands down his back and under his shirt, nearly moaning at the heat radiating off his skin.

"You gotta wake up now Y/N." He whispered before you were pulled from what you thought was reality. When you finally managed to open your eyes, Jaskier was standing above you shaking your non-hurt shoulder gently. "You gotta get up Y/N." His smirk told you all. You had been talking in your sleep again and now you were pretty sure Jaskier knew about your minor, itty, little crush on Geralt.

You let out a loud groan and pulled a pillow over your face. "Just leave me here." You muttered through the thick dense cloth. Your cheeks were probably bright pink, but it was better Jaskier than Geralt hearing you call his name.

"What and let you get back to your very sultry dream of our dear friend? Not a chance missy, Now up, up, up" He chants as he pulled the pillow off your head and went to the door. "If you aren't downstairs in a few minutes I'll have to entertain Geralt by telling him all about what I heard." He snickered.

You shot up at that moment and threw a pillow at him, but he dodged it and was already heading downstairs. You wanted to scream, but you dragged yourself out of bed and stood in front of the small mirror in the room. Trying to straighten out your hair. But it didn't look like there was any hope for it. You noticed a pair of pants and a button-up shirt left out for you, and while it wasn't what you normally wore it would have to do.

It took a while to change with your shoulder but you managed okay, only hoping Jaskier didn't say shit to Geralt yet. Slowly you made your way out of your room and down the stairs, hoping this wasn't a goodbye from the boys. You had grown to care about Jaskier in the last few days and fall ever madly in love with Geralt. Wait did you genuinely love him? You shallowed and tried to brace yourself for whatever laid at the bottom of the stairs.

Once you were at the bottom of the stairs you noticed the boys sitting with the blonde woman from before, talking up a storm. You walked into the sitting room offering a shy smile. "Hey, guys." You were a little nervous.

Jaskier got up and offered you his arm to help you sit down beside the blonde woman. Geralt sat alone in a red chair and Jaskier on another one. Only you and the woman were sitting on the couch. You rested your hands together in your lap unsure what to say.

"Y/N this is Keria." Geralt spoke nodding to the woman. "This is her place."

You offer a smile, "Keria, that's a beautiful name. Thank you for allowing me to stay here." You weren't sure what else to say this woman hadn't even said two words to you before.

"It's no problem, just repaying a favor." Her smile was bright and friendly and put you at ease. "You can stay as long as you need too, you got quite a battle scar."

You nod before looking to Jaskier, "Thanks Keria, it means a lot honestly. I will pay for my room and anything I eat. I don't wish to inconvenience you." She shook her hand before placing a hand on yours with another bright smile.

"Don't worry about it. Geralt and I go way back. It's not a problem. You just worry about getting better." She then turns to Jaskier, "I take it you'll be watching her then?"

"Yes I will," He nods before offering you a smile.

"Watching me?" You questioned looking from face to face to try and read the situation. Geralt didn't meet your eyes for a moment, thinking about what he was going to say.

"Yes," It was a little drawn out before he spoke again. "I've agreed to help Keria with a job, to repay for us staying here. We will be back in three days if all goes well." His voice didn't show any hint of emotions and your face fell.

"Well let me pack my things, I'll come too. It never hurts to have a little extra magick about." You smiled before starting to get up when Keira's hands set you back down.

"No, Y/n. This is something we have to deal with. I don't want you getting hurt so soon." Her smile was hiding something but you couldn't tell what. Other mages were the hardest to read.

"I'm fine really." You insisted before Jaskier shook his head at you. Giving you a knowing look.

"C'mon Y/N we will have together. You'll never even know you missed a fight. I'm sure we can start one at the inn." Jaskier teased giving you a knowing look.

"No fights while we are gone." Geralt sighed before looking at you, "And no leaving the house." Without another word he stood up and headed out of the room. Keira shortly followed as you and Jaskier stared at each other.

"What's that all about?" You whispered to him. Geralt was acting strange, maybe it was because of the bath this morning or maybe something was wrong.

"Well-" He started before moving over to sit next to you. "Keira has asked for his help to find a missing child. The boy was supposedly her trainee and he went missing on a trip to the town over. But leave it be. It's nothing fun I promise." His smile said he was hiding something but you didn't bother pressing the issue.

"Can you go grab my bag from my room Jaskier? You're a bit faster than me." You teased before standing up and gesturing to your shoulder.

"That doesn't affect your legs," he teased before getting up and fetching your bag quickly. You're pretty sure he thought you would run off if he was gone too long. Once he put your bag in your hands you dug through it for two different items then ran out the front door to where Keria and Geralt were.

Jaskier chased after you trying to stop you. Geralt was already on Roach's back and Keira on an all-white horse. "Geralt" You called out before they rode away. He glanced at you as you walked up to his house pushing the two items into his hands.

"What's this?" He questioned staring at the items then at you. You smiled before pulling open the tie on the little bags.

"Ones the coin I owe you, the other to keep you safe." You might have been staring at him for too long so you look away and pet roach for a moment. He didn't say a word as he put them into his pocket. "You take good care of them, Roach. You're such a good girl." You cooed to her as she pushed her nose into your hands.

"Don't touch Roach." Geralt whispered before picking up his reigns and offering you a slight smile. "Stay out of trouble. Don't wanna come back to you dead." And without another word the two of them rode off.

Jaskier walked up beside you, "What was that?" He whispered before urging you back inside.

You took a moment to look around, a beautiful field in front of you, dotted with a few trees, a nearby river rushing at the edge of your sight and one road. Leading from the edge of the far off trees through the field as far as you could see. "A talisman, I need him to be safe." You whispered before going back inside.

"Okay, I wanna hear all about this I'm not in love with Geralt nonsense." He smirked as he shut the door behind you two.

"I don't know what you're talking about." You hum trying to keep yourself busy by messing with things around the house.

"Oh please, you were moaning his name in your sleep, you can't fool me." He pulled you away from trying to touch a statue. "C'mon, tell Jaskier all about it. Maybe it will inspire me to write a song about you two." He teased before you let out a sigh.

"Only if you promise to not do that." You chuckled softly before taking a moment to think. "I don't know. He's just, he's." You try and piece together why you like him. "Maybe it's his eyes, or the way he acts all big and tough, maybe it's his smell or his jawline. Maybe it's the way no one has risked their life to save mine before. Or.." You gaze off into the distance not sure if you should go on.

"Or?" Jaskier pulled out a bottle of wine before pouring two glasses. Handing one to you and taking a sip from the other.

"Or, the way he smiles, the way he isn't phased by who I am. I haven't had a non-elf look at me the way he does before. Just it's something in his eyes, it feels like I've been lost for a while and when I gaze into them I feel like I've finally found home?" You questioned yourself as the words seemed to fly out without a filter. "No that's stupid. I don't even know him. It's probably just because he's good looking and has been taking care of me. It's nothing." You try and cover up what you were saying. It didn't mean anything. He was your hero and that's why you felt this way.

"That doesn't sound like nothing." Jaskier smiles softly before looking down at his wine. "It sounds like you are in love, though Geralt has only been in love once in the time I've known him. But you are so much more than her. Plus you can just tell in the way he looks at you he cares. Nevermind what he's said." Jaskier takes a sip of his wine before heading to the kitchen to find some food.

"Wait, what?" You follow him, drink in hand. "What do you mean nevermind what he said? What did he say?" You step in front of him, eyes wide, you needed to know if it was even possible he felt the same way.

"Y/N, He cares about you. You had him worried sick almost when you were just lying there. He kept asking Keira if she could heal you with magick if you would wake up if you'd be okay. He didn't eat for two days until I forced him to." Jaskier smiles before nodding to your wine in your hands. "Drink up we are going to have a fun night."

You can't believe what he said. Geralt does truly care about you, a lot. You down your wine before setting the glass down. "What else has he told you?"

It went on for hours, you asked and Jaskier would answer. Not like Geralt had admitted he had feelings for you, but he did care about you and your well being. And he even wanted to make sure you got back home safe when you were all better. After that, you don't remember much. Flashes of Jaskier singing to you, you playing with some fruit trying to juggle, and Jaskier and you drinking three bottles of wine.

Three days went by in no time, but Geralt and Keira were nowhere to be seen. You had finally begged Jaskier to let you go to the local inn, and he finally took you. He could use a crowd to sing to and test out some new songs anyway. You had slipped on one of Keira's dresses and hid your ears with a spell, a little lipstick from her makeup stash and you were ready to go. It wasn't an extremely long walk, she lived right outside of town and Jaskier sang to you the whole way. Once at the inn, you relaxed a little. Or maybe it was the three ales you had already drank that set your nerves at ease. Either way, Jaskier was playing a slamming song and you felt the need to dance.

You stood up from your chair and started spinning around letting the music move your body in any way that seemed fit. You were the only one dancing but all the men were cheering for you. Not like you wanted their attention, there was only one mans attention you wanted. You somehow end up dancing on a table, a few others had even started to dance around the inn. You were spinning before landing a jump off the table with grace only to grab a random guy's hand and start dancing with him. Everything felt amazing. Once Jaskier's song had finished another bard had picked up where he left off with another good song, or maybe it was just the ale. Jaskier grabbed your hand from the other man and spun you around the floor. The two of you laughing and smiling the whole time.

You couldn't remember the last time you had this much fun, it had been years. Finally, you weren't worrying about money or where you were going to sleep or having to steal some poor sucker blind. You had friends, no you had found a family. Soon enough Jaskier spun you into his arms before whispering to you, "We should get home. Geralt will be worried sick if we aren't there when he returns." You nod before downing another few ales. Jaskier pulls you out the door and the two of you make the walk home. You're laughing and skipping along the path, the sun was just starting to set.

"Jaskier, I wish this could go on forever!" You chimed up spinning around before stopping in front of him with the biggest smile on your face.

"Wish what could?" He was unquestionably a lot more sober than you were, and one of you had to be for the walk home. He knew how much you missed Geralt and just wanted you to have a good time.

"Traveling with you guys! Killing monsters, traveling the continent, times like this. Drinking together, dancing, just being a family." You looked up at the sky before screaming out, "I love my new friends!"

Jaskier just chuckled before looping his arm in yours, "I take it your shoulder is feeling much better. And I do enjoy this as well. I hope you'll stick around for a while Y/N." He smiles as you guys approach the house. Just as Geralt and Keira ride up.

"Jaskier? Y/N?" Geralt questions before getting off Roach and walking towards the two of you.

"Geralt!" You cheer before throwing your hands up, "How's it going my friend! I've missed you!" You run over to him and throw your arms around his neck before seeing Keira and running over and doing the same to her. "You guys have been gone forever." You drew out the last word before giggling.

"She's uh, a little drunk right now. She was worried sick since you two weren't back and we went out to get drinks. Nothing happened though, just her having fun and I earned a little coin." Jaskier smiled before you ran back over to his side clinging to his arm.

"We were dancing and drinking! I was spinning so much! I was even dancing on a table and everyone was cheering. Is that how it feels all the time Jaskier? To play in front of everyone and have everyone love you. It was amazing!" You blurt out swaying a little on the spot.

Geralt didn't say a word but shot a glare to Jaskier before walking over and taking your arm in his. "C'mon Y/N lets get you to bed." With that, he was taking you into the house and right up the stairs.

"Don't be mad at Jasky!" You whine before leaning on Geralt. "I was sad and he cheered me up, I'm very happy now." You hum as you two approach your room.

"I'm not mad, I just I don't want you getting in trouble in town." He sat you on the bed. "You should get some sleep, you're going to regret it in the morning." His voice was soft and tender, if you weren't drunk you would have known something was up.

"Geralt." Your voice was a lot quieter as you took his hand and smiled up at him. "I'm really glad I met you. You're amazing, you fight amazing, you talk amazing, you look amazing." You giggled before laying down on the bed and stretching out. "Why don't you lay with me? Just for a bit. I missed having you around."

Geralt didn't know what to say, he was more so in shock than anything. He cleared his throat before glancing at the door. "I should go, gotta put roach away and all that."

"Just for a minute, please!" You nearly begged him before patting the other side of the bed. He let out a sigh before sitting on the far side of the bed and laying down on his back.

"happy?" He asked glancing at you. You nod before putting your hand on his chest as you turn on your side facing him.

"Very." You smile at him before closing your eyes, you were finally able to relax knowing he was safe and sound. "I didn't get much sleep. I was so worried about you not coming back."

He reached into his pocket and slipped something into his hand. "Don't worry you kept me safe." He whispered before you swore you felt his hand brush your hair behind your ear. "You don't need to hide who you are, I will protect you." His voice was soft and calming and you lifted the spell with a single mutter.

"Thanks, Geralt." You mumble before drifting off into a deep sleep. Geralt doesn't move from the bed right away, he stays a little while. Watching you sleep. He doesn't know why he feels so close to you, you've only been in his life for a few days, yet he feels like he's known you forever. He couldn't afford to let you get hurt, he wasn't sure why but he knew he had to protect you and never let anyone hurt you again.

"Sleep well Y/N, I'll see you in the morning." He whispers before caressing your cheek and leaving the room. Jaskier is standing at the bottom of the stairs with a smirk on his face.

"So did you tell her?"

"Tell her what?" Geralt questioned looking at the bard with a strange look.

"That you love her. Geralt it's written all over your face." Jaskier crossed his arms as his smirk grew. "You know she cares about you. Missed you like crazy. Why not just tell her."

Geralt stared at him for a moment. "Witchers don't have feelings, remember?" He started to walk past him.

"Yet you do. Tell Y/N you love her or I will." Jaskier stared into his eyes before glancing at the stairs.

"I-" Geralt sighs before thinking it over. "I will when the time is right. Okay?" and with that, he headed outside to check on Roach. He knew you didn't feel the same way how could an elf love a witcher? How could anyone love a witcher? You deserved so much better.

If only he knew. 

Chapter 5

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//Lucky

Request: Sweets with a female reader that has adhd and like idk something fluffy maybe reader getting annoyed about not being able to get anything done or idk something cute and fluffy

Today has been an off day. 

Not your worst, but pretty bad. 

You’d been unable to focus in class, each time a teacher had given you a task, you seemed to get distracted by something else, which would make them mad, which would make you mad and end up with you being sent out of class. 

And when you did focus, you ended up just fucking up your work, meaning it had been scribbled out more times that actually written on. 

Yep...today had been a bad day. 

But now Betty Cooper was about to make it ten times worse. 

You thought as soon as the bell rang you would be able to run far away from this school and back to your room, where you could take a moment for yourself to calm down. 

But no. 

You had been so close to the front doors of Riverdale High. You were so close to freedom, when an arm wrapped around your shoulders turning you around. 

“Where are you going?” She’d asked and you stared at her annoyed. 

“Home.” You’d replied angrily and she took her arm away, letting it drop by her side. 

“Did you forget?” She asked while laughing slightly. 

“Probably, yeah.” You deadpanned and she quickly stopped laughing. 

“We all agreed to study in the library today, as a group.” 

“That was today.” You groaned and she nodded. 

Yep, today had just gotten a whole lot worse. 

Sighing, you blew a piece of hair from your face before storming after her. 

As soon as you walk into the library you feel overwhelmed. The stuffy librarian is at the front desk and she’s watching you like a hawk as soon as you walk it. You make one person spit water from their nose over an old book and you’re marked for life. 

One thing that does make you feel better is your boyfriend, sat right on the end of the table laughing quietly at something Fangs has said. A soft smile appears on your lips and you momentarily forget about your shitty day. 

You also laugh softly when you look at the table. Its the biggest one in the library and all your friends are spread out across it, but even though the divide between the Southside and Northside is long gone, there’s still a physical divide. All Southsiders are on one side, while all Northsiders are on the other. 

“Hey!” You throw yourself in the seat beside your boyfriend and his face lights up at the sight of you. He presses a quick kiss to your lips before going back to his conversation with Fangs. 

While he’s busy and everyone else is talking, you take your books from your bag and drop them on the table with a rather loud bang. 

“Oops.” You mutter and look around the room apologetically. 

“You okay?” Sweet Pea asks and you shrug. 

“Just a bad day. I’ll be alright as soon as this is over.” 

“Tell me about it.” He replies with a quiet laugh making you giggle. “Come on.” He sighs. “Lets get this over with.” 

You’re five minutes into studying when you start to get restless. 

The rest of your ‘study group’ is silent. All working furiously on writing notes or reading chapters. Even Sweet Pea has his nose buried in a book. But you can’t seem to focus. Everything is too quiet. Too still. And you have a need to fidget. 

First you tap your pencil against the table, hoping it will help you study. But when that doesn’t work, you decided to tap your fingers. And then your making a little beat (a good one at that) and then the librarian as well as Betty is staring at you, causing you to stop. 

You take a deep breath. Deciding that this time you’re really going to try and focus. You’re not going to let this get the better of you. If everyone else can do it, so can you. 

Deciding that writing notes might be the best option for you, you grab your book, flipping it to the right page. And so far its going well. Each line is sort of different. But then you feel your mind drifting away.

You’re trying to decide what to have for dinner tonight, and then what you’ll wear for school tomorrow. And why the sky is blue and not pink and-

“Y/n?” Your boyfriends hand is on yours shaking you from your thoughts and you blink at him. 

“Yeah?” 

“We’re taking a small break.” 

“Why?” You laugh. “We only just started.” 

“We’ve been doing this for almost 45 minutes.” Veronica tells you and your jaw drops. How long were you thinking. 

“Jesus Christ.” You mutter before groaning. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sweet Pea asks. You think about lying. But whats the point. They all know something is wrong and there is no way you’re going to be able to sit here for another hour and a bit.

“No.” You shake your head before quickly standing up and walking away. 

Your friends call after you but you just walk quicker. 

Why did you have to have this? It makes everything 1000 times more difficult, plus it makes you feel left out.

“Y/n!” Sweet Pea shouts behind you but you walk faster. However you hear his footsteps get closer until he’s right behind you. “Whats wrong?” He grabs your arm, stopping you from walking any further. The bookshelves are tall and dusty back here and you can tell that the only people that come here, are doing it to make out. “Y/n?” 

“Shit.” You curse loudly and his eyes widen. “I can’t even focus on you when you ask a simple question.” 

“Talk to me.” He says, sitting down. You sit beside him and lean your head against his shoulder. 

“I can’t get anything done.” You reply annoyed. 

“What?” 

“Because of this stupid thing?” You throw your hands up in defeat.

“What thing?” 

“You know, my ADHD. It makes it difficult to focus on anything and I was already having a bad day today but this has just made it worse. And while all of you are studying I’m thinking about why the sky is blue and not pink. Or why the ocean is blue and its just frustrating.” You sigh loudly. 

“The ocean is blue because of the sky.” He replies and you stare at him. 

“What?” 

“The ocean. Its blue because water absorbs colors in the red part of the light spectrum. It kind of filters it, leaving behind colors in the blue part of the light spectrum for us to see.” 

“What?” You repeat and he laughs. “How do you know that?” 

“I googled it a while ago.” 

“Oh.” 

“Anyway. Its okay that you’re having a bad day. And just because you keep getting distracted today, doesn’t mean you’ll be distracted tomorrow. And even if you do, its not the end of the world. Plus, whatever you don’t get done, I’ll help you with. Doesn’t matter what it is, even if its for a class that I don’t have. I’ll help. You’re not alone.” He tells you before kissing you softly. 

“I love you.” You whisper against his lips. 

“I love you too.” He replies. “Do you wanna ditch this ‘study group’ and do something fun?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” You smile as he helps you up. 

------

“Sweet Pea.” You groan. “You said we wouldn’t have to do this again...unless we’re here to make out.” You add on to the end and you hear him chuckle softly behind you. 

The day after your small meltdown, you were just about to make it out the doors again, when someone wrapped their arm around your shoulder...again. 

This time the arm belonged to your boyfriend so you didn’t mind that much, but you were still pissed. 

However the cheeky smile on his face made all your annoyance disappear, as it was replaced with suspicion. You’d asked what he wanted and he just guided you through the school before stopping outside of the library and covering your eyes with his hands. He slowly walks you through the library, occasionally bumping the two of you into tables before finally you stopped. 

“Okay. Ta-da!” He says, pulling his hands away. 

“Ta-da?” You ask, raising an eyebrow and he shrugs. 

“Just look.” He shoves you softly and you laugh before looking around. 

He’s set up a table in the smaller, quieter place in the library, right at the back. Its secluded and quiet and you don’t see a lot of distractions which is good. 

“Thank you.” 

“This isn’t it though.” He says, placing his finger in front of your face before digging through his bag. “I’ve been doing some research and it said that making lists and reminders can help you. So I looked at all your classes, talked to your teachers and in my free period, I made you a study guide.” He says, handing you the very large, very colourful chart. 

“Thank you.” You laugh as you look at what he made. It is very detailed and he definitely did his research. “Its perfect...thank you. 

“I told you I’d help you.” He nudges you softly. “Plus, I have some ideas for what we can do when we take breaks. I brought your favourite snacks. Bought a shit ton of fidget toys from Amazon, I don’t know if they help you but the internet said they did. Its up to you.” 

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” You look at him in awe. Nobody has ever done anything like this for you. “How did I get so lucky?”

Plus, we are in make-out corner...so if you get bored of all the food and fidget toys, there is definitely something else we can do.” He winks at you and you roll your eyes. 

“Okay...maybe not that lucky.” You tease and he rolls his eyes at you. 

You definitely were.

[nathalie-sancoeur-assistant]

This is filled w/ spoilers

So here it is, time for me to pull myself together and post all my thoughts and feelings on the new episode into one big long post. 

So my overall feelings?

I am upset

Not because it was a bad episode- it was amazing, literally so good- nope, it’s because of Nathalie- but I’ll get into that in a moment. I’m gonna put a read-more here cause this is gonna probably be really long- and could very well be a recap of the whole ep with my commentary. 

-----

First off, when Plagg seemed not to like Adrien’s birthday present for Marinette, he seemed so concerned (these screenshots aren’t going to be very good quality because I REALLY don’t feel like going through all the trouble of making them look nice & take hours on one post)

Look at the little bean! SO concerned. It’s perfect Honeybun, she’ll love it. 

Then onto the next scene...

Even during meals, they sit so far away from each other. Why? I’ve often wondered what the point of such a long table with so many chairs could be, especially in a house that’s so big yet so empty. I suppose that it could do well for meetings, but still, this is a family meal, not a company get-together or business meeting with people you have to impress. They have to practically yell at each other to be heard. 

Also, look at this

He basically asked Nathalie for approval. “Should I let him?” “Yes sir, I would.” “Very well, Adrien.”

Also, the fact that Gabriel and Lila have the same meeting place each time. He isn’t just driving by hoping to catch her, they have a time and place set up. And the idea that Marinette is a bad influence? Preposterous! But of course, this is Lila. 

Screw Lila. 

“You work to hard, sir” 

Yes Nathalie, I’m sure you know what working to hard feels like. You’re not exactly relaxing, yourself. 

---

Next scene! 

Ms. Bustier: Marinette, would you bring your school bag to me please, I need to check something

Okay so first off, you’re going off of an anonymous tip that one of your best and most well-behaved students (Aside from being late quite often) is a thief and a cheat? And secondly, you really think that she is SO STUPID that if she had taken them knowingly, she wouldn’t have maybe removed them from her bag? Third, why did Marinette not FIND them in her bag before school started, take them out, and maybe call Alya or something. 

“That’s impossible Marinette, Lila got the worst grade in the class” not impossible if she stole them after the test- also, way to be subtle on grades. I thought teachers were supposed to keep that stuff relatively undercover. 

And Adrien really said “Marinette Rights”

---

So.

There’s no sound of crashing. 

Lila just yells “Ready?” in the most mischievous voice she can

Then she starts screaming

And no one stopped to think “Hey, not only is Marinette really not known to assault people, but we didn’t hear a single thud that would have sounded like someone falling down the stairs preceding her screams.”

“She keeps calling me a liar, getting the others to gang up against me...” SINCE. WHEN?

Also. 

“Oh...I have proof”

How would she have known that the proof was in Marinette’s locker? And again, if she knew, why would she be surprised to find the pendant in Marinette’s locker??

UGH. 

---

Now we get to the part that started lil miss me to get so upset. 

“Are you ready, Nathalie?”

“More than ever.”

She just bounces out from behind him, ready as she’ll ever be. 

Look at her 

Then she goes on to call him the Almighty Scarlet Moth and I just smh 

Awww. She looks like she’s ready to punch those butterflies in the face. You punch those akumas. 

Varity Queen? Princess Justice? Oh yeah. I wanna see those. 

And now to the scene that hurt me

“What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing, everything's fine! Keep going..”

She was so ready to just fall down and choke while he continued his fight and she would have still loved him if he hadn’t stopped to help her

But this seen makes it so clear

he loves her too

Even if it’s just as a friend and assistant, he loves her. And it just...the voice acting, her voice actor was so good, it physically hurts me to watch that scene. 15/10.  

And Tikki yelling at Marinette...well not really yelling...but holy crap, there is a lot riding on this 14 year old girls shoulders when it comes to her own emotions. She’s still learning what some of them are, puberty is far from over with her, so now she just has the added pressure of not being able to feel the natural emotions that occur with hormone fluctuations and righteous anger from being falsely accused without having to be fearful of Hawkmoth’s akuma. 

But on the bright side, Alya FINALLY believes Marinette! She may have her flaws and push Mari a bit to much IMO when it comes to Adrien but hey, when it comes right down to it, she’ll stick it out with her pals. A true friend. 

---

Is that the same doctor we saw at Master Fu’s?

And despite her state, still the only thing she’s thinking about is him, his goals, what he wants- and he’s not even thinking about that right now. 

He looks so distraught too. He needs her. But she’s just so laser focused on one thing that she’s not thinking about the other possibilities. Mark my words, her persistence is what’s going to drive him to stop being Hawkmoth. 

“I don’t care, Gabriel. I want to help you.” I swear, I’m gonna start crying again. She’s telling him how she feels when she says stuff like that! It’s loud and clear. If he hasn’t seen it by now, when it’s more obvious than Marinette could ever hope to be- then literally nothing but her straight up saying the words “I’m in love with you” is gonna make it click. He has to know!

“Not at that cost! Never at that cost again...” then it cuts to his family portrait. 

Why, pray tell, does it cut to his family portrait? Of all things. Why did it cut to anything at all? They didn’t need to go to the trouble of creating a whole new picture to cut to if they didn’t NEED to. It’s saying something. And Im pretty sure that its that he’s not willing to give up Nathalie, not even for Emilie. 

I would also like to point out that in that picture, he is wearing blue- but now, he primarily wears red. What is a combination of blue and red? Purple. The color of Nathalie’s suit. 

Hmm...

Nathalie: Shh

Me: *handing Nooroo pots and pans*

She’s so desperate to help him- and look at how she treats Duusu. She isn’t being cruel. Duusu just told her “No, you should be resting” and she’s just like “Yeah, but what if I didn’t?” not “Don’t tell me what to do!” or any crap like that. Instead she stops and explains herself. And then Duusu...

No, not it’s not romantic. It’s twisted. I love Gabriel and Nathalie as a pair, but this isn’t a romantic gesture. Nathalie is losing herself in her desperation to help him, get the miraculous, end it once and for all, and her desires to please Gabriel even if it means that he’s not going to want her in the end. She is fighting a losing battle, no matter what happens, she’s going to get the short end of the stick- and it just breaks my heart that she is so willing to throw her life away when there are other ways she could be assisting him that don’t include her deteriortating. That’s why I cried so much during this ep- she wants to prove a point by using this miraculous when it isn’t necessary. And that is why I officially HATE seeing Mayura- because each time she transforms she’s one step closer to falling down and not getting back up. 

Also, I thought this scene was super interesting. That’s how she creates a sentimonster? That is so cool. 

Moving on, when Adrien pulls out his phone 

“I am Mayura, and I’m about to annihilate Ladybug, Mwahahaha!” Points for subtlety, Hon. XD

She’s so cute

“I’ve always gone out of my way to hide my true feelings for you but I just can’t do it anymore” possible foreshadowing? Hmmm?? “Your feelings for me haven’t changed and mine are growing stronger every day” I can’t help but think she was speaking from her own heart in some of that. 

And our poor little kitty

So desperate for love, he refuses to believe that

Ladybug wasn’t actually moving on

“She’s so perfect” “I’m nowhere near as perfect as her.”

Also “Senticharm!” *gets big gun blaster thing*

“Lucky Charm!” *gets fork*

Seriously Gabriel and Nathalie belong together at this rate. 

“Nathalie?!”

“Nooroo why didn’t you wake me up?” “I couldnt bring myself to you were sleeping so peacefully” because “Im scared of you and Nathalie told me to Shh” wasn’t the right response. 

She gets tired even when using the miraculous

And she still goes out in the field 

Heeeerrres Hawky!

Legit tho, this is what an anon was talking about earlier from the Gabenath ask meme I did a while back. I said that what I look forin a fanfic would include Hawkmoth needing to save Mayura on the battlefield. And it JUST became canon. Lord have mercy, I think I’ve died XD

Also 

“You’re the real monster!” 

“Oh, that...you’ll find out very soon” He doesn’t even care tho. Like, where’s all his givacraps fly off to? Oh yeah that’s right they’re akumatizing people, they just keep flying away.  

He is huge compared to them. And just going to town trying to whap this 14 year old girl into oblivion. Boy. 

“All I need to do is wait a few minutes until you two turn back into regular kids, so fragile, so easy to break” Absolutely no filter. Do you think that’s going to make you seem less like a villain? We don’t say stuff like that! You can’t just take that back! I swear, if you have a redemption arc it had better be Paarthurnax/Zuko-level convincing because there are very few people willing to forgive you after you say things like that with no remorse. 

“Release her”

You can’t tell me he doesn’t love her- he sucks at it, but he does. Im really hoping he’ll learn from this mistake and never ask her to use the peacock miraculous again- if she uses it, it has to be on her.

“Don’t mind me” Babe if he doesn’t mind you and you’re discovered then it’s just a hop skip and jump from Hawkmoth being Gabriel Agreste, 

He’s carrying her again

Idk if I should focus on how little Nathalie seems to care about how much danger she put herself in or the fact that we have a Gabriel booty close-up

He’s reprimanding her, she starts coughing, her glasses fall off, and he immediately softens up. 

Look at that soft look. And the music that’s playing in the background? It’s so...sad..and enhances the way he’s looking at her. 

And now.....Adrien

As soon as the adults leave, he growls and the music gets more aggressive. Intimidating. 

He is ticked. “Because we’re friends aren’t we?” that was just laced with venom and malice. They say demons run when a good man goes to war. 

Well Adrien’s started packing. Lila better watch her step. 

And in the end, she basically outed herself as a pathological liar. She admitted it, though she likely didn’t word it that way. 

Well, that’s all I have to say. Remember, God made you special and he loves you very much. *veggie tales theme starts playing*

[nomadicbeard]

Hi! I saw on one of your posts you said that you used to be a stucky shipper. I actually started off as a stony shipper but then absolutely fell in love with stucky but I like both . I was just wondering what made you "jump ship" on stucky lol. Sorry if this comes across as annoying or anything im just curious!

Hey! As you can see a couple of people have asked me this over the last couple of weeks and I’m really lazy and haven’t got around to responding yet, but the people deserve an answer so here we go. Before we start a quick disclaimer: I’ll only be talking about the ships themselves, not the communities or any of the discourse surrounding them. This is not a ship-bashing of any kind and please do not take it as such, it’s just my own personal experience surrounding these characters and these relationships. 

 Buckle your seatbelts kids, this is a long one.

I first got into Marvel c. 2015. I’m European so I’d never really watched any marvel movies before that, I watched Age of Ultron on a plane and remember being vaguely aware the Steve/Tony was a thing (what is pretty interesting is that to this day I have no clue where that knowledge came from) but was mostly just excited by the superhero stuff. I then got home and watched The Winter Soldier and fell in love. I love the Winter Soldier, it’s probably still one of my favourite marvel movies (it got kicked out of its top spot by Black Panther last year unfortunately) and to me no other marvel movie could hold a torch to it at the time. So I came onto tumblr, searched up The Winter Soldier and was just inundated with Stucky stuff, as expected. I rolled with it, got invested just from constant exposure (it was also around the height of the Stucky ship) and as far as I was concerned, that was that. I was super into Stucky for almost six months and was pretty much your average shipper, I didn’t understand stevetony, loved Steve Rogers, was close to creating a Stucky sideblog wit some ridiculous pun as my username, I was gone over this ship.

Then one day, I sat down and read the man on the bridge by boopboop on ao3. You’ve almost definitely heard of it, but it was the most popular fic in the Steve/Bucky tag on ao3 at the time (for some reason I had just never got around to reading it until then, it was long and I didn’t have the stamina I have now). It was your pretty standard Stucky fic, Steve gets Bucky back, they have to deal with his trauma which results in Steve and Bucky declaring their long lost love for each other etc. etc. What was different about this fic, was that it was all told from Tony’s point of view, and since Steve and Tony were on the same team at that point, their dynamic was a huge part of the fic. And I found myself falling completely in love with Steve and Tony’s dynamic. I went back to the fic for this post (and god it is a good fic) and pulled up the first couple of chapters and instantly just found so many instances of that dynamic

(grade A stevetony arguing over each other’s safety with a side of flirting from Tony)

(Idk why but the image of Steve and Tony not going to sleep, but rather staying up and brewing coffee together was such a vivid one when I first read this fic, I still remember it to this day. )

(Tony picking Steve flowers while trying to desperately play off that he didn’t aka. Tony caring while trying desperately not to care)

(Everyone knowing that Steve would definitely come to Tony, apart from Tony himself.)

Now obviously, this is a stucky fic and I went into it knowing this, but I found when Steve and Bucky finally got together I felt honestly a bit bored, a bit cheated. I had no idea why at the time. I remember very clearly x-ing out of the fic at the end and feeling really uneasy, I came onto tumblr, went straight back into the Stucky tag and all was well.

When I next went back onto ao3, I started out with a couple of oneshots in the Stucky tag, but for some reason it wasn’t working for me anymore. I remember sitting there, a little bored, not at all invested in this relationship and just missing something. I figured I was probably missing Tony’s presence in the fic and so filtered in Tony Stark’s character tag. I read a few of those and all was well but I realised the same thing was happening as had happened in man on the bridge, the moment that Steve and Bucky got together, the fic lost something for me. Desperate at this point, and a little annoyed at myself I conducted an experiment and went into the Steve/Tony tag on Ao3 and as they say, the rest is history. If you go onto older posts on my main blog there’s a pretty drastic, almost overnight shift c. January 2016. I have to admit, I expected Civil War to be a conversion so I enjoyed stevetony without consequence for five months, while still labelling myself as a Stucky shipper because I expected to be pulled back to Stucky after civil war, the reality was that somehow I came out of civil war shipping stevetony harder than ever before. From there, I spent two years reading my way through the stevetony tag on ao3 and finally set up this blog in 2018, with a really obscure reference as my username and it’s been stevetony til I die ever since.

I just couldn’t read Stucky anymore. That’s what I mean when I say on this blog that stevetony has ruined me for every other ship, because it has. Steve and Tony’s firecracker dynamic pulled me away from what was fast on its way to becoming my favourite ship in 2015, all because they had a bit of banter on the side in a fic. It’s kind of depressing really, the sort of hold that Steve and Tony’s dynamic has over me, 

It’s strange you say you fell in love with Stucky, I fell absolutely out of love with it. I have thought a lot about how I ended up falling into stevetony and why I was so drawn to them instead of Stucky in the first place and I think it all comes down the the story itself. To me, Steve and Bucky’s relationship carries much more weight as a friendship, I still have no doubt that Bucky is one of if not the most important person in Steve’s life, but having that be a lifelong friendship is way more powerful and impactful to me, (especially since what I know I misconstrued to be Steve’s obsession with Bucky is actually Steve’s obsession over the past. I’m not saying Bucky isn’t dear to Steve and he does want to obviously rescue him, but looking back on it there’s more to Steve’s obsession with Bucky than just love, it’s a fear of change and it’s him desperately trying to hold onto a past that’s gone.)

Conversely, I feel like adding a romantic element to Steve and Tony’s relationship enriches the story being told, if you look at something like civil war (either MCU or 616 tbh) in the context of Tony being desperately in love with Steve, it makes a lot more sense, especially with things like The Confession in 616 or the stuff brought up in that strange conversation in the conference room in the MCU. There’s lines from Steve like “I’m home/you gave me a home” or even straight up “he loved you” and his tormented behaviour throughout infinity war and endgame that just really makes you wonder, not to mention lines from others like “you two still gazing into each other’s eyes/sounds like both of you got into bed with the wrong people” and they did have to share a bed at Clint’s farm after all lol. The tragedy of their story is heightened if you look at it through the context of them being absolutely in love with each other, just never having actually got around to telling it to each other’s faces. This tragedy is heavily implied in The Oath/The Confession in 616 when they confess their deepest darkest secrets to the other’s comatose/dead bodies, and apparently it’s always been that they love the other person. Actually you could easily introduce a romantic element by making relatively few changes to the MCU, but that’s a post for another time (I have a long and comprehensive list in my notes app on how little you actually need to change to make that happen, it’s literally the matter of a few lines of dialogue and one major story change at the end of IM3, an interesting thought exercise to say the least).

Finally, there’s a quote that came up on my dash the day I made that fateful venture into the ao3 stevetony tag, “your soulmate isn’t someone who comes peacefully into your life. It is someone who makes you question things, changed your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone idealized, but an ordinary person, who managed to revolutionize your world in a second” to this day, it resonates so strongly with me about stevetony. It’s everything I love about this ship just compressed into a quote. 

So yeah it was basically a bunch of happy coincidences, but thank god it happened. As a writer, stevetony has taught me so much about character and dynamic, stuff that is honestly invaluable. When you have long fics that basically detail the day by day life of Steve and Tony post-civil war in rural Italy and consists of them sleeping, crying and working through their repressed feelings (looking at you @silkspectred ), it is the characters and their unique dynamic that drive the entirety of the story. Steve and Tony, in the hands of a compelling writer, can keep me hooked over a frankly embarrassing number of words. I still have a bit of a special place for Stucky in my heart really, it did start me out in marvel after all and it was one of my first ever ships, but your first love is only so good until you meet your true love, not to get all sappy but stevetony has completely destroyed my ability to ship anything else. I might get a bit flirtatious with some other ships, like sambucky (I still love Bucky, and I love Sam!), or the riverdale ships (beronica and jarchie or bust), or even the game of thrones crack ships (daensa til the day we die), but I’ll always come back to stevetony.

So yeah this escalated into a far longer post than I intended to make but I’ve never really spelled out on this blog how or why I ended up jumping Stucky to Stony when I know it’s usually the other way around. I guess it just comes down to stevetony catching me out when I least expected it, and never having let go of me since. 

[shawnpetermuffins]

Allergies

Request by @prettylittlethingggg: how about the reader’s allergies are really bad and shawn tries to help (maybe on tour idk your choice)!!!

A/n: thank you for the Request! I loved the idea! Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1.8k

***

Touring with Shawn is a dream. I get to spend every moment with the love of my life and I get to watch him do what he loves most in the world.

However, I was not prepared for the effects this constant travel would have on me. Going from one city to the next, one country right after the other, it's exhausting. Which is probably why I've suddenly become so allergic to nearly everything outside.

Okay… so I know it doesn't work that way, obviously. I've had allergies my whole life. My main triggers being flowers and dirt.  So that phrase, "stop and smell the roses" never really applied to me. But it seems like all Shawn ever wants to do is go outside. Which I guess I get, he's constantly on planes or in hotel rooms, or in arenas and he never truly gets to see the beauty of the places he's in.

And I'm usually willing to go out and see the world with him. But that just isn't the case this time. We'd been exploring nonstop only yesterday, and now my eyes are red and puffy. My nose is stuffed up and running, my throat itches and nothing will help with it. Not to mention my throbbing headache now that the sun is filtering brightly through the thin, sheer curtains of our hotel room.

Shawn's arm is wrapped around my chest, making it even harder for me to breathe seeing as I'm having to inhale deeper since I'm breathing through my mouth. I manage to push him off as gently as I can and make my way to the bathroom for a hot shower, in hopes that the steam with open up my nose a little bit.

It helps a little. I'm still stuffy and my throat and head are still fighting for top pain spot - my head is winning, but not by much.

When I step back into the room, my warm, red skin wrapped in a towel, Shawn looks up from his phone. "Hey, baby. Brian wants to go look at this cool record shop he saw yesterday when we were coming back to the hotel. You wanna get dressed?"

I sigh and dig into my bag, searching for clean underwear and a bra.

My heartbeat is so loud in my ears that I barely register the soft patter of his feet on the carpet and nearly jump out of my skin when his hands find my bare waist. He immediately removes himself from me and I feel bad.

"Sorry," he whispers, now only placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Y/n, look at me."

I do and his face softens with concern, "Your eyes are red. Have you been crying?"

I sniffle, shaking my head. "Just don't feel good." I slip into my underwear and drop the towel to clasp my bra, but Shawn reaches the straps before I do and does it for me.

"What's wrong? And you hurting? Do I need to get you something? You can't take Tylenol right? You're allergic to it?"

"Shawn," I say softly, barely trusting my voice which is raspier than I expected it to be considering it was just an itchy throat. But I forget every time just how bad my allergies get. "Don't worry about me."

He glares at me, "Don't tell me that. How can I not? My girl doesn't feel good."

"I'll live. Go out with Brian. I'm gonna sit this one out."

"What? No." He pulls a shirt out of his suitcase and hands it to me. "Put this on. I'm gonna run to the drugstore and get you some medicine, okay? I'll be back as quickly as possible."

"Shawn, I'm fine. Go hang out. Please."

"I'm not just gonna leave you while you feel like shit. I'd lose good boyfriend points."

"I'm not keeping score," I mumble, sliding into the soft fabric of his shirt.

"I am. And I'd be a horrible boyfriend if I left you alone while you didn't feel good."

"You would n-"

He put his phone up to his ear, holding one finger up, basically telling me to be quiet and I kinda want to punch him for it. Maybe I should be keeping score.

"Brian, hey. So, I can't go today… no, I know, but y/n doesn't feel good. I need to keep her company… No. Yeah. But that not the only reason I called. I have to get her some medicine from the drugstore. You think you could come to our room and just keep an eye on her until I come back?" He's silent for a second and I sigh dramatically, falling back onto the bed. "Oh yeah, they probably would have something downstairs, eh? I'll check there first. Thanks, bud. I'll see you in a minute… okay, bye."

"I don't need a babysitter," I groan, resulting in a cough.

"I know you don't but I would just feel better if you had someone here."

"It's allergies, Shawn. I'm not dying."

"If it's allergies, what bothering you? Eyes, clearly. Nose? You sound kinda stuffy. Do your ears hurt?"

"They just don't work," I roll onto my side, curling into myself and looking up at him while I talk. "One minute you sound really loud and the next you're muffled."

"Okay? What else? Throat?"

I nod, "and my head."

He sighs, "I'm sorry, baby." He leans down to press a kiss to my temple; I melt into his touch, but he pulls away too soon for my liking. "I'll get anything I can. I'll get water and gatorade. Hell, I'll get everything. Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

He nods, finding a pair of socks and a hoodie thrown carelessly in his bag. "I'm gonna get you something anyway. You need to eat."

I roll my eyes, "then why ask me if you're gonna do it anyway?"

He sighs and comes back to sit next to me. "I'm just going to pretend that you're not giving me attitude because you're sick. Can't punish you when you're sick," he smirks, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

"Hmmm… promise to do it when I'm feeling better?" I ask without opening my eyes.

He chuckles in response, "we'll see, honey." There's a knock on the door and he's off the bed in a second. "Hey, buddy. Thanks for doing this."

I don't hear what Brian says, he's speaking much softer than Shawn and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful.

"She's laying on the bed."

"Hey, y/n. How you feeling?" He asks, looking a bit amused with my current state. I know I look like absolute trash.

"Fine enough to stay in the room without a babysitter while Shawn goes downstairs."

"Well, while I would agree," he sits next to me and pats my head. "Shawn doesn't think so."

"It's literally just allergies. I just need to take a pill and I'll be fine. He's fussing about nothing."

"I'm still here, you know?" I hear his foot hit the floor after he shoves his shoe on.

"I'm aware," I grumble, scooting closer to Brian so I can rest my head in his lap. He chuckles and runs his hands through my hair, causing my eyes to grow heavy.

"I'll be right back, baby."

I nod the best I can through my lazy state, eyes closed, and listen for the door to close.

---

I don't know how long he's gone or how I ended up back on my side of the bed instead of on Brian's lap, but I wake up sometime around noon. Shawn's nowhere to be seen, but I hear him strumming a guitar from the small living room. My headache, thankfully, has dulled, and I waddle over to where he's sitting on the couch.

He smiles when he sees me, and I kind of wish I had been a little quieter so I could listen to him play a little longer. "Hey, baby! Have a nice nap?"

I nod, my eye fluttering shut for a second.

"I'm glad." He sets his guitar down and reaches for the bag on the coffee table. He's pulling out all different kinds of medicine, four different gatorade flavors, lots of snacks and I just stare in awe at this man.

"Okay," he says without looking up. "I wasn't sure what was bothering you most, so I kinda just got you one of every allergy thing down there. So we have runny nose, sore throat, itchy/irritated eyes. There's one for congestion, I think that's what allergies are sometimes, right?" He moves the boxes around while talks. "I got you some water. They ran out of the red gatorade, and I know that's your favorite, so I just got you a few other ones in case you still wanted that. I'll get you a red one after dinner. And I know you said you weren't really hungry, so if you're not in the mood for a meal," he clears his throat and I smile down at him, resting my head against the door frame. "I got you some snacks. There's gold fish, some granola bars, a few bags of Chex mix. They had fruit roll ups, and I didn't know when the last time was that you had one, so I got a couple of those."

He finally looks up at me beneath those long lashes and I could melt right here. "What's wrong? You're staring weird."

I shake my head with a small smile on my face, "I just… I'm in love with you."

His cheeks instantly redden. "Well I'm in love with you, too."

I make my way over to him and he spreads his legs a little, giving me space to slide between them. His hands rub soothing circles on my sides and I hum at the soft contact. "Thank you for bringing me this stuff, and for taking care of me. You really didn't-" I stop myself just in time to sneeze into my elbow. I sniffle and continue, "you didn't have to."

Shawn's laugh rumbles against my stomach, where his head had found it's resting spot and my fingers thread leisurely through his thick curls. "I did have to. Can't have you feeling like this the rest of the week."

"You're perfect," I mumble into his hair and his grip on my waist tightens.

"Come on," he pats the back of my bare thighs and looks up at my albeit still red eyes, "let's get you some medicine and lots of fluids."

"Since when did you become a doctor?" I laugh lightly.

"Since I watched all of Grey's."

"Should I call you doctor Mendes?" I mean it as a joke, but he takes it another way.

A smirk plays at his lips and he squeezes my thigh. "We'll save that for another time," he winks and I immediately cover my face.

"You're incorrigible."

"You love me," he presses a kiss to my clothed stomach and I nod despite my better judgement.

"I do. Sometimes, I think a little too much."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @bbellbagel @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste @dino-16-avocado

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[mrschandlerbing]

Goodbye 2019, You were eh... remarkable.

I started my 2019 totally different person. And I could probably speak for everyone we are different people now.

But why am I writing this now? I will explain that to you now. So grab something to eat sit back and relax. 

My bad year actually started back in September 2018. I started 5th grade in high-school. I was unexceptionally happy about the fact I was starting in that class it meant that I was about to learn a whole lot. Let's just say that I did. 

Not only subject matter but also about myself. 

Like I said I started my year in 5th grade. I thought it was going to be my best year. 

That was until everything went downhill...

I was sat in a class of with 3 others. (I go to a special school for people with physical disabilities that’s why the groups are small) All of them were boys one of them I’ve known for about 10 years (Let’s call him Landon)  and the others (I call them Nate and Zach) I’ve known them for around 4 years so I kinda knew what they were capable of. ( turns out I REALLY WASN’T prepared for the storm they were about to put me through)

For the first month, it was quite alright. it was fun and games. Good teacher, guys joking around throwing some harsh jokes, sometimes on the racist side (I will get you back on that.)  But everything started to go downhill when preparations started for the internship we were about to have, starting in September 2019. 

We were asked to dig down and find out our best and our worst qualities, our talents and the things we were absolutely bad at. That’s quite innocent I thought back then. Every now and then we had to share something with the class. All okay. But with exposing yourself comes a certain vulnerability and I felt that I was walking up against my own walls. For years I thought I was living quite alright that I had myself figured out. Once I realized that this was nothing like it, I started to fall into that endless pit. 

I suppose you're wondering where did Nate, Zach and Landon get into this story?

I'm getting there...

it’s not a secret that these days people are actually fearing change. That our society is filled with fear that our society is run by it. The strong are fed by fear. It’s no secret. WWI and WWII were huge examples of that. Oh, hell what am I talking about, no! Look at ISIS. Men and women severely brainwashed and played upon by their fears.  Where did it lead them? 

Imprisoned, crippled and still left with the idea that murdering people because they’re different because they love differently or believe differently in the name of God. 

As a Muslim myself (IDK if I can call myself that TBH seeing I know more about what it is to be a Christian than a Muslim and it’s Ironic and I feel a huge amount of guilt now that I am writing it. I think this is a disadvantage of attending a Christian school). 

You know, let’s just say that I’m a believer. Sound good? Thought so. Anyways, this brings me to my next point. 

Up until a few months ago, I was loud and clear about my beliefs I used to wear with it proud. Don’t get me wrong I still do, I always will, forever! 

But that faith has gotten a serious dent by my surroundings, by social media and my classmates. Why was that? Because I was laughed at.

I believe that God as put me on this planet for a reason. For a purpose. Even though I haven't found my purpose yet. We humans were originally created to take care of each other and our surroundings. (WE ARE FAILING BADLY AT THAT).  

Anyways it's not my point.

I was already falling Into that endless pit. And my classmates made it harder for me. Like, weeks I was trying my best to make my classmates like me. I would do that in ways that were hurting my values. The biggest one was, being myself. I felt like I had to change myself to meet up to their standards which lead me into making bad decisions. 

This leads me to the part were my fear consumed me. That fear was being forgotten. Not being noticed. and I started being very impulsive saying things, my opinions if you will, about everything dear to my heart at the time. Giving your opinion there’s nothing bad with that. But I have to admit I did it in a way that is not considered polite. 

To finally got my point, if you’ve read this far Thank you, you’re truly remarkable.

I wasn’t feeling very good in my skin. Everything that felt like the slightest insult to me made me go off like a nuclear bomb. It would scare off my teachers and my classmates. also, may I remind you I was the only girl in a class full of boys and GOD FORBID A WOMAN TO BE SMARTER AND STRONGER. My classmates, especially Nate, saw that I was struggling. So, for him, it was fun to racist comments and bring down my whole belief system. and often he would drag along Zach with him to make it worse. Landon would often keep himself hidden in the background often being ashamed of his friends but not standing up against them either. 

I can’t blame Landon though, it’s hard being in a group where toxic masculinity rules...

Anyways, I’d often apologise for my behaviour and I would often admit that I can be very impulsive. That I can be very mean at times. But I think for them hurting me was a fun game. because half of the time they would throw parties invite everyone except for me. Put pictures on facebook and laugh their asses off about something that happened back at that party. (May I inform you that one of those guests ended up naked on a bathroom floor peeing himself because of the amount of beer he drank? :-] ) But for me, that was a hit.

I was sat there crying my two best friends around me. So you might think What is this bitch complaining about now? If you do, you’re not the first. My classmates thought too. The thing was just, I didn’t feel respected I felt like dirt for them. Because there were countless times I’d help them out with their homework or send them my notes so that they could study easier. but here I am rejected and humiliated. 

Once I recovered from that disaster. I tried to get my shit together it went well for a couple days. They laid off. 

 But who could’ve said a simple cardgame would’ve given me my breakpoint? Exactly no one. Neither did I. 

Bear with me on this...

At that time we had a substitute teacher. He originally studied to be a biology teacher. So having to teach a class who has to make PowerPoints and Word documents daily must’ve been something new for him. It was no surprise to me he was overwhelmed half of the time and he couldn’t navigate in the cold claws of my classmates. He wanted to be the cool teacher and he was, he still is. 

But my point is he was lost and I was fearful. The teacher was explaining what was about to happen. 

So, basically, it was a normal card game. My classmates had to give a card with every 5 good qualities and 5 bad qualities. I even jokingly said “Oh, oh” implying something bad was about to happen. oh, boy is my gut feeling always right.

It was fun at first. I was kind. I was lifting up my classmates up only giving them positive once. But then Nate kinda caught up and took it as his moment to suck the attention to him.  So Nate started tossing bad cards. Zach thought it was funny cause I was pretty much unarmed. I had no intentions of hurting my classmates. Never.  

But once Nates started Zach kept adding. Nate kept adding. Landon was quiet. The teacher was completely lost for words to not knowing to interfere. They kept adding and adding.  Landon started placing cards too, bless the boy's heart only good once. 

I was lost for words. My throat was hurting. I felt tears come up. The teacher looked at me, asking if I was okay. But all I heard was them laughing them adding cards. 

complainer

mean

weak

cryer

sensitive

not funny

boring

They kept coming. I felt humiliated. The remaining parts of my confidence were shattered. There was nothing left 

BOOM.

I reached the bottom of the pit. There it was complete darkness. All I felt were tears streaming my breath was gone I couldn’t breathe. 

Was I being overdramatic? 

Perhaps, a little. 

But did it hurt? 

YES, IT DID.

That incident lead to my mother coming to school with me the following day. My teacher looked at us really confused when she saw my mom. I’d say it was normal. But that one day made my trust in adults really hard it was practically gone. 

Instead of calling them out. She looked at me. and the one thing she said. “I will discuss this with other teachers. Because I have a feeling that is what I have to do.” My blood boiled. My mom wasn’t happy either but what were we supposed to do? 

Indeed nothing. like yeah, we could talk back. But it was no use. I had a feeling she didn’t want to do anything about it. and nothing really happened. Things stayed like they were. I felt dead inside and I’d often cry. For every time I had a day off or I had a break. I’d be in bed most of the time or I’d try to distract myself by working for school. 

It changed ‘till one given day where we had religion. To close up the year the teacher asked us what hurts us the most and what faith means to me. 

So wrote it down and gave my answer. At that moment I basically exploded. the class fell silent. Not a word was said again. I was crying so hard I was literally choking in my own words. 

As I was explaining the whole situation my teacher smiled kindly at me and she just said. “You know sweetheart. People will always have an opinion about you. Always. It doesn't matter what you do and what you don’t do they always will. Have an opinion.” She started. “It’s only up to you what you let inside. I think it’s time for you to let go because you’re a remarkable girl. You’ll only be able to do that if you make this wall for yourself where you filter out the negatives and I’m sure you’ll feel much better.” she ended. It sounded so simple. But it took me a while to get there. But the first step that she let me take was to write a letter to myself first. a letter where I told myself how amazing and remarkable I am. 

and from that day on my mental health has only approved. I’m still in the same class with the same people. But none of them dares to open their mouth anymore. because I’m better and stronger than ever.

This year was for me a year I’d rather bury deep and forget because now I am only looking forward and trusting on my own gut feeling. Because I know that I am amazing. I am smart and from now on no man will get me so low again. NO ONE WILL. 

2019 you were ehh.. remarkable, but nothing is the same anymore. Thank you and GOODBYE.

[sesame-swims]

marmalade’s ulcer is all gone what a good boy

waddup i didn’t wanna make this post until i knew with 100% certainty that marmalade was gonna be totally okay. i’ve know for the last maybe two weeks with 95% certainty that he was going to be fine but now that his ulcer is completely gone i feel 100% confident that he’s pulled thru.

so some backstory

i’ve had marmalade for almost three years now and up until september of last year i had marmalade and sesame together in a 30g (would not recommend u can’t miss a water change or ur fukt).

if you don’t follow me and you don’t know marmalade he has a chronic swim bladder disorder that’s on the generous side of moderate and it weakens his immune system considerably. basically he’s always sick. keeps mommy on her toes.

anyway in march of last year i had a variety of filter malfunctions combined with too few water changes and he developed what i believe to be hemorrhagic septicemia. 

i quarantined him and fed him some oxytetracyline pellets, as well as gave him epsom salt baths twice daily and gently swabbed the area with peroxide (once daily). 

the whole thing was pretty minor he cleared up in a couple days. i was living with my ex at the time and i spent way more time watching my fish than i am able to currently so we spotted it early and treated aggressively and i’m glad i overreacted a little bit because it prepared me for what’s to come...

so in september of last year my ex and i moved across town. within a couple weeks i noticed my fish were less active (i always look to sesame for stuff like this because she’s always been healthy).

i figured it was time to upgrade and my friend hooked me up with a 55g complete with stand and lighting fixure for fuckin FREE-ZY. so i immediately impulse bought basil. 

i thought having a new fish would help sesame be more active cause i mean cmon it must be boring as fuk in there with marmalade’s lazy ass. after a couple weeks qt i decided i’d toss basil in there and while it did help it felt like he started getting less active too.

anyway it took me a minute but i realized that the water in my new place was crazy soft. like 60ppm kinda soft. my fish were super inactive and sesame was gasping at the surface and bottom sitting even though there was nothing visibly wrong with either of them or my standard params. once i figured it out i started treating my water with aquavitro GH mineralize. i’ve been using it since then it’s great it raises my GH without disturbing my pH and it’s super easy to use although kinda annoyingly expensive cause i go through a lot of it.

so i thought i had it under control and everything was fine but then in the month or two leading up to my breakup i was in like a weird mental space. i wasn’t doing enough water changes and i ran out of that liquid stuff (which by the way also makes your plants grow like crazy) and i could tell my fish were a little stressed but i mean aside from some minor stuff with marmalade they weren’t visibly suffering so i didn’t go out of my way to improve the situation. which was stupid cause it weakened them (and by them i mean marmalade) to the following;

i broke up with my ex this feb and me and my fish moved once again. i moved back to the town that i had got my fish in in the first place so my ignorant ass thought my days of dealing with water hardness were over LMFAO STUPID ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

idk how it’s all linked up but basically the water here is super soft too and i didn’t even check. i mean for WEEKS i didn’t check and i also skimped on some water changes too while i got a sink attachment figured out omg so basically i was a Bad Fish Mom™ and just let a bunch of problems manifest while i ignored the shit out of it and slept 12hrs a day.

and then i saw it. in the dead of the night when i walked out to make a sad microwave quesadilla and feed my fish i caught of glimpse of The Red Death on marmalade. except this time it was like 10x bigger and he also had an ulcer on his head. my heart fuckin dropped and imma be honest i really thought he was gonna die. i immediately did an epsom bath and peroxide swab and when i picked him up he was noticeably weaker than ever. the next morning (which to be fair was only a couple hours later) he looked the same and when i went to work that day i really didn’t know if he’d be alive when i came home.

these panicked 3am shots don’t really convey the feeling of impending doom but his red spots were comparatively gigantic and his ulcer was something i’d never seen before. tbh it might have been some kind of sore that got fungus-y i don’t even really know but it PISSED ME OFF AT 3AM.

so i did a couple large water changes and tested my water and found out this stuff is soft as hell too. i bought my magic liquid and for marmalade i just did the exact same procedure i did last time except this time i made the decision not to quarantine.

swab affected areas with peroxide 10-15 minute bath in epsom at 1tablespoon:1gallon  while he was in the bucket i dropped some of the medicated pellets in there and he ate them while bathing which was great for me because i didn’t have to closely monitor what was being eaten (don’t let this food dissolve in your tank its bad for your cycle) i also completely stopped feeding pellets and only fed repashy soilent green gel which in my heavily baised opinion helped a lot. and then i just began the process of slowly raising my gh.

 there’s a variety of reasons why i chose not to qt but the main one is that marmalade seemed pretty far gone and my other two fish were behaving normally and not showing any similar symptoms. i decided it wasn’t contagious/not immediately threatening OR they already had it and it was a matter of time. if i was going to medicate i would want to medicate the entire tank anyway. i would always recommend a qt tho. especially if your fish won’t eat while bathing it just makes the whole thing easier.

thankfully it didn’t get that far. marmalade was noticeably better after 24 hours and his red spots were completely gone that week. feeling him get stronger as i grabbed him for his daily bath was honestly the most reassuring of it all. his fungusy-ulcery thing took another week to fully form and then go away and now he’s all better!

 thanks for reading my sloppy 2am post love you guys~ also s/o to @thebrokeaquarist for always helping me with marmalade drama