#idk the tragedy of it all is sooooo romantic to me

[maxgicalgirl]

I have been a few episodes behind on Hello from the Hallowoods and finally listened to Starcrossed Gods today and OW OW OW OW OW

[tokruta]

I just found my first instance of a man not remarrying after his wife died young.

My great*4 aunt got married at 16 (about a month away from turning 17) to a recently 20-year-old man, she unfortunately died less than a year later giving birth to their one and only child at 17. That child died 3 months later, 5 days before my aunt's birthday.

He died 21 years later, and he was listed as her widower (as in her name was in his death registration), so he never remarried. My mostly surface-level search supports this; I haven't found any evidence of him having any other children, either.

I've found sooooo many men who remarried within the same year their wife died, this is the first instance that I've found one who didn't. Well, who didn't as a young man, I mean. He was 20, turning 21 in the next month. He died a week before his 42nd birthday and I just wonder about those 2 decades after her death.

He lost his wife and child within 3 months of each other, a widower and a father with no living child at 21. Did he never develop a romantic relationship again? Was he a mess and slept around? Was he some sort of social pariah? Did he love her so much he just couldn't move on? Was he just not interested in other women? Or women in general? I'll most likely never know, but it is interesting to me. It's so outside the norm I've found in the hundreds of people I've looked at, I can't help but think about this.

I need to remind myself to not make up stories about them, they died well over 100 years ago and most of them and the people around them would not have left behind anything I could read or look at. At most, I can maybe find their graves when I next visit my grandparents, if they haven't degraded too badly (a majority of my ancestors have been in the same area for hundreds of years, apparently, and the most "exotic" ones I've been able to find are the ones that moved from Zacatecas to that area of Jalisco lol I've yet to encounter another state, just Zacatecas).

My preferred theory is that she was it for him, that they fell in love young and married in the hopes of building a life together. That he named their child after her in the hopes that they'd carry on her legacy and memory. But again, who knows. For all I know, I'm waxing poetry in my mind about him when he's actually a piece of shit who never remarried for a very good reason. Who knows.

The whole thing just sucks; I hate that she died so young, giving birth to a child that would join her only a few short months later. I hate that I found another 17-year-old who died giving birth to a baby who wouldn't survive so soon after the last one I posted about. I hate that I know she won't be the last or the youngest. I hate that my great*3 grandfather, her younger brother, only got to know her for a year before she died. I hate that a baby named after their mother, likely in an earnest attempt by a grieving father to keep her memory and love alive, died of an illness that was listed as herpes only a few days before they turned 3 months old. That if it was herpes, they likely got it simply by being born, so that fatal act doomed both mother and child. I hate that my great*4 uncle experienced such awful tragedies so close together and at such a young age, regardless of how he was as a person, nobody deserves to lose their loved ones like that. I hate that my great*4 grandparents, her parents, continued to have children after she died doing the same, giving her siblings she'd never know and who'd never know her.

Idk something about this whole thing hit me hard. I think it's because I'm neck-deep in both my Todofam and Anidala feels lol

[fakeosirian]

it's my duty as your house of anubis mutual to ask you about patricia and eddie (for the ship bingo)

BLESS YOU BELOVED MUTUAL if i can rely on anything in this world. it's this <3

FIRST ACTUAL BINGO BABEY (and arguably there are more squares that depending on what i'm doing with them i could say are true that would make at least one more bingo but i reigned myself in a bit LOL)

peddie is so flexible in vibes?? i love that you can take their relationship in multiple different directions and it's still totally legit/within their range because there really is That Much to do with them (depending on the level of tragedy you want to milk out of them/what point in the show you're talking about/how much you want a happy ending for them) while it still feeling like their very specific brand/within their characterization

in my view (and this may be unpopular? idk) the only thing keeping them together by the end of the show is sheer force of will to not let go of their relationship because its just. A Thing They Need To Keep Doing. even if it hurts. literally everything around them (not just the plot tho that is too lol) is a huge neon sign saying BREAK UP PLEASE GOD. now dont get me wrong they absolutely are compatible, but there's so much about them that isn't re: small things that get in the way that become big things, sometimes incidental/situational and sometimes genuine incompatibilities, that they have to put a LOT of effort in to keep from flying apart by default. that's not a diss/not me saying i don't like them together -- tbh two people that are that devoted despite The Agonies is fascinating esp in the context of season 3b -- but more that they're SOOOO flexible narratively/thematically as a dramatic pairing and i love them for it + they are one of the few ships i genuinely enjoy breaking up/getting back together/breaking up/getting back together ad infinitum in my imagination LOL

definitely unpopular opinion is i don't see them working as a long term couple post-show? (or at the very least they break up For Realz/get different partners/maybe get back together later in life but as far as they know at that point they're done) like ok i enjoy the fics ive read + headcanons that keep them together A LOT but in my heart of hearts...my peddie breaks up dramatically, makes up after a lengthy period of Not Talking and causing hijinks and shenanigans for those around them, and then become the type of incredibly close friends you can only be if you have a very overdramatic romantic past LOL like new partners need to be "approved by [patricia/eddie]" "who is that? your sibling? "ew no of course not. it's my ex" "?????"

expanding on that: i don't really have a "preferred ship" to replace them with (i know i have specific non-peddie ships for them lined up in my fic but those are for the circumstances of That Fic specifically and not necessarily my ideal pairings for them) all i know is i like them when they're messy because they're sooooo good when they finally get catharsis (esp when it's not in the way they're expecting as two people who expect the worst from life and preemptively react accordingly, thus reinforcing the bad things they expect more often than not)

the irony of that is i kind of find it tedious sometimes in the actual show when they're being messy and enjoy their functional romance scenes the most but tbh it's mostly because they get stuck in cycles of being the same type of messy ('explainable misunderstanding #9387982734' i'm looking at you. Sorry) the toxicity is at its best when it's Fresh

inherent eroticism of attempted murder being ? is for 3b but the more i think about it the more i wish i had just full-on colored it in because it really is them even when there isn't possession involved actually LMAO

cursed thing i realized: this may be one of the very few totally legit enemies to lovers ships ive actively gotten into and written content for. i'm usually a friends to lovers pining and yearning enjoyer (if that wasn't obvious already) or, if there's antagonism there, prefers rivals to lovers but peddie....peddie hits

anyway closing thoughts they are highly entertaining and of all of the hoa ships i've spent a significant amount of time thinking about/writing for, probably the most versatile/fun to do things with and have the widest range/mileage? not a ship to be comforted with but a ship to challenge me creatively LOL especially since outside of hoa, if i have strong feelings on ships in a given fandom, i tend to get very. rigid and picky with what ships i like/what i don't (ie. i like despite the horrors of Having Conflict in the Narrative for my ships to have happy endings and tend to avoid ones that have fundamental incompatibilities that would most likely result in a breakup) and peddie is what i have to thank for Opening My Mind to that tbh

[biolums]

jace cast the skz as characters in ice age

mel you cant do this to me im going to scream. i cant even explain my answers well its just. i feel so strongly about this but its SO strong its beyond words. read my mind. then youll see my reasonings

CHAN - MANNY

ah manfred the mammoth. the leader. the defacto “father” of the group (before he. yknow becomes a father. then he IS the father of the group). would write “why you mad bruh” and think its fire. rounds up everyone when theyre doing shit theyre not supposed to. could be a youth pastor (dont ask why i think chan has youth pastor vibes. its beyond me)

MINHO - GRANNY

“older people are wiser”. no older people are batshit crazy. im tempted to leave it at that. ok no but. theres something there about pets. minho is so the type of bitch that everyone thinks is crazy for talking about his “imaginary” pet but its real but he cant convince a single fucking person. also just flirts with all the men. zero intention of dating its just to be annoying. would kill for a massage

JISUNG - SID

i dontnmnow how to say this without being mean but jisung just.. somehow is SO sid. he doesnt look like sid at all but I SQEAR he looks like sid. i think its the lanky? fucking beats me. anyways. pathetic bf energy. wouldnwalk into glass doors. JISUNG COULD DO “yummo” AND SID COULD DO “pingping dorabeorigetji”

CHANGBIN - BUCK

literally changbin is sooooo the bitch that lives with the dinosaurs. i dont know how to make this more clear. buck isnt BUFF but he might as well be with the stunts he pulls. carried a tiny pumpkin around for an entire movie claiming it was a baby. i swear they have the same aegyo voice.

JEONGIN - SCRAT

idk jeongin just has a sysiphusean feel to him yknow. this is literally it scrat doesnt have very many character traits. childlike joy. i guess?

SEUNGMIN - THAT ONE LITTLE FUCKIN MOLE WHO GOT RETCONNED

evidently his name is louis. idk he literally is a main character one movie and a cameo the next.. this guy is LITERALLY seungmin. idk like theyre just the same person to me. louis is the cautious but persuadable best friend who loves mannys daughter but she likes a popular guy (oh the tragedy of it all). he and peaches make up at the end of the movie and it seems like theyre romantically implicated and then in the next movie peaches has a mammoth fiance. so. im not saying seungmin is the best friend who gets pushed away for hot guys but its kind of what im saying. also he runs in to rocks sometimes while hes mole tunnelling and i think seungmin would do that too i can picture his reaction soooo well

HYUNJIN - DIEGO

hyunjin literally IS just a big cat. leopard ass lion ass sabertooth tiger ass bitch. mysterious.... graceful.... would kill me i think. serves cunt. likes to hide behind facial expressions. idk this one just Makes Sense to me

LIXIEPOO MY DARLING WHO I DIDNT FORGET - PEACHES

ok like.. Yes he is chans daughter. dont ask. YES this also implies seungmin is a loser boy with a crush ON felix. shhh. the thing about peaches is that shes fun shes quirky and shes not like other girls. JUST LIKE LIX…. also again. like manny. she sooooooo goes to sunday school. JUST. LIKE. FELIX…. the way i didnt even have to think about this one i just Knew immediately… the comparison is just that good.

[booking-and-blogging]

azura and diana fir the character thing!

How I feel about this character

To say I would Die for Azura is not even scratching the surface of my devotion

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Corrin, I know revelations messed this up last minute but they were perfect! Selena is a great one the S support from the hack sold me on it sooooo hard I adore it. thats some real women supporting women shit and omg the tragedy of that ending after conquest. I love it. i love her. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

She seems like the type to not be close to a ton of people but I like her with Camilla, sakura, her children, i love a support with her and soleil they add in the hack. Her and Nyx I feel like would get along fantastically despite usually not speaking much together. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Azura is fucking great you all just suck at interpreting characters. You see her call out Dragon Corrin like “bitch kill me, you wont” and you call her meek, she’s calculating and cynical as a foil to Corrin, ya’ll call her bland and devoid of emotion. She’s wise a perfect partner in crime to Corrin and shes got a cheeky side. She reads people well and knows what needs to be done and does it, and she’s not wasting time for anyones shit, but I love that about her. She’s a co-lord to Corrin and saying otherwise will get a boot, I mean the girl has a higher str growth than Ike you ganna tell me she’s just a bland dancer? Fight me. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I really wish the game would have made her more explicitly a co-lord, she absolutely is in Conquest, like you and her are always plotting, but in birthright shes a smaller figure and revelations is so over packed no one has enough time to shine. I’d also have made her co-ruler with Corrin married or not. They need eachother as foils, Corrin’s inspiring and a moral compass, while Azura’s practical and wise to peoples shit. Together they would rule as two perfect co-consuls. Also Fire Emblem ignoring Female birthright constantly can literally fight me.

Diana 

How I feel about this character

Great character, she’s the perfect foil to akko and late show the perfect partner. She’s finally found the right attitude in the show that leaves her feeling justified and competent. She’s not tsundere, she’s a takes no shit go getter and I love her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Akko of course, though Dianas a perfectly lovely lesbian and her options could fit well with anyone who challenges her.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Honestly I see her having a difficult time being super close to people shes that mom friend who people admire, and admiration tends to build walls wanted or not. Akko not idolizing her, but challenging her, probably is a big part of their bond. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

idk really Im not deep into the discourse. I fight any and all people who think shes a shitty tsundere or think she could literally be straight I mean have you seen her opinion of men? 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

LWA honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. Maybe for me make her relationship with Akko more sweet and explicitly romantic at the end? But I don’t think that makes the show any better just more pleasing to me. 

[englishenthusiast]

Goldsmith Collage Pt. 1

Hi friends! So I’m really excited because I finalllllyyy got around to reading some work by the Goldsmiths and I just think there’s just so MUCH in their work!

I’m currently ignoring all other responsibilities and decided to make a comparison post + collage between TRV & TDV so stay tuned lol

Content// The Rising Village by Oliver Goldsmith (1794-1861)

Okay, sooooo

TRV, probably my favourite of the two goldy poems because hello, way less despair, and also, super cute romantic tragedy and ya’ll know I’m a sucker for those lmao. Let’s talk about this collage real quick.

Okay first, themes of nature vs. civilization. EXPLICITLY obvious so you see how obviously the two left ones connect but I just want to take a second to admire these bc they fit PER 👏 FECT!👏

Amazing art work in the bottom left corner and could we just acknowledge real quick the symbolism??? Like guys I almost shrieked when I saw this because it just fits Flora and Alberts relationship AND the themes of the poem like?? perfect. 

So lets dive into this connection because I’ve been dying to talk abut it for a half minute 

Goldy, Jr, Big nature guy, kinda obsessed and I like to think he had a bit of a fearful admiration of it because he refers to nature as rugged, nourished, and exhausted, all of which give such dividing view points like does Goldy think it harsh? Mother-like? Human relating??? Anyways. He’s also like, super scared of the “horror” of nature (and also like, a typical racist colonizer but what’s new lol🤪)

Then there's the top left and you see nature’s Strength and Reclamation and just.....,.,.,. gorgeous. We love that for her. 

(xtra poetic points for having nature interrupt another form of art like,,,,, damn)

On to the other pictures, I’m really proud of the top right because I feel like it’s such a good symbolism of the colonization evident in the poem.  Like, they really went about colonizing in a pretty brutal way but when you think about starting a village, let alone a country, by pretty much scrap, you really gotta understand that they put their SOUL into this.  Idk I just think that a candle kinda merged with the body represented the work being put into the village, and candles are pretty old school too I guess so yea. Literally burning away pieces of yourself and your soul to build this community.

“When, looking round, the lonely settler sees

His home amid a wilderness of trees:

how sinks his heart in those deep solitudes.” (lines 59-61)

Probably my favourite part about this collage is the God in the sky, as soon as I saw it, it reminded me of;

“His home the wild, his canopy the sky;

And, far removed from every human arm,

His God alone can shelter him from harm.” (194-196)

So this line is my FAV from the whole poem, I just think it’s super great as a standalone line just so powerful like

ugh. Anyways, stay tuned for The Deserted Village comparison!

Toodles x <3 💋

[shade-without-color]

Annotated Writing: Last Man Standing

Note: As promised an annotated writing drabble of her character swap challenge with Lovejoy which is not my genre but I liked that so far. Maybe I can do some more of it XD

(Sooooo IDK in my mind,I did the craziest to say-hey let me do a Lovejoy drabble when I have a million prompts to do,so recently Kate has not been too happy,being stressed by her exams,and it is not my jam as I tried it with my own now abandoned 2064 story but that is what friends do,I mean she churn out the best romantic drabbles of my loves which i am like *DYING WHALE NOISES* so I am like damn it I will do it. TBH I AM LIKE WTF SHOULD I DO XD,it is probably the same for Vamos too XD. I was like just rolling with it bitch XD)

Lovejoy trembled slightly. Somehow that planet becomes darker and darker, He seen through the faces of those who once came to that wretched planet. He becomes the explorer searching through the mazes of what has been. He could see hear the voices of the crew members. Cho probably smoking a cigarette left over by him,giving a cocky grin that he lost a bet with Lovejoy on who is going to clean the lavatories in the cooling room. Saladra joking slightly on the universe’s darkest pits in times and spaces with a notebook on his deep analysis of the universe beyond. Sometimes if he is fresh from his experimentations,he would give a stupid little smile on his face on Lovejoy’s deadpan reaction. And him in the engine room, examine through the webs of wires and measuring the temperatures of the atmosphere.  None still left his body. He carried his gun slightly, his hands trembling slightly and. He cursed himself why the hell did Dhrama ever get himself out from the control station. Dharma must be trembling in the dank labyrinth, holding that hope that one day he may be free.

(Apparently Lovejoy has been trapped by the tragedy of the Dragonfly which she said he is the opposite of Carter whom is more of a sweetheart,so I used my strengths which I am better in slice of life moments,I mean I enjoy writing this easily than Kate-which she is saying THE STRUGGLE IS REAL 2K17,but yeah I like that relationship between Dharama and Lovejoy,for certain I find Dhrama easier to write as he is close to my personality XD)

Forces came in. Flashes of light came back to him. Smoke penetrated through control rooms. The faces of the Dragonfly erected in the hulking forces. He is always watched. Nothing is safe. A lone man versus what would nature brought his wrathful children to that intruder. He could glance at Forgerty by now looking through the runes of a foregone land. Lovejoy noticed her peculiar habit of squinting with her right eye, which she sighted was a failed operation from a childhood. She did not disclose those details except for Lovejoy. And he glanced at the horrified calcified expression of a lady holding a flame thrower tightly,for some odd reason,it reminded him of Sykes who sometimes held a flamethrower by her bed,hearing the crackling sounds of the vacants via the sound system. It must be her somehow.

(Oh I dunno if you want to add that on Forgerty's quirk but is a more of my cinematic influence of Wes Anderson which he exaggerate a quirk either through costume or physical characterstic,well I do not imagine a narrator narrating at a distance hahahahahahhaha. So we see the extent of the horror which is super nasty man XD)

Now it was different, his jaded nature carried him everywhere and all he think about now is Dharama. Who knows he would be the statute that froze in that wasted land. For the night is high.Lovejoy must go away despite Carter’s warnings and the glares of Ferris,whom he is anxious for Briar’s safety. .Home is behind and the world is far away. He must go now.The last man standing for the what if and the when if.

Lovejoy quickly pressed the button in his walkie-talkie. The clicking noises of the vacant stirred troubled memories of his past “Hold on Dharma…”

“Lovejoy” Dharma exclaimed loudly,as if fear has been relieved in his chest. “..I cannot hold them longer.” He could hear Dharma using the gun blasting through the darkening forces.“I am getting you,you little shit” There he placed a cigarette in his mouth and heaved it deeply. Smoke penetrated the room as he searched for the maculate and Molotov bombs. “Survive.” as he slipped that bomb into his unity belt.

(This scene,I am quite happy how it came out,as I was like literary listening to this to get the mood as I was in POTC 5 mood despite the shitness of the story,so I tried my take in horror which is more like The Last of Us which is so creepy hahaha. and oh I like the line "his jaded nature carried him everywhere" )

[glimpseof-me]

Tuesday - March 7, 2017

I’ve been scrolling through my wall for the past half hour and I see countless pictures of women with perfect bodies. It’s kind of annoying because who really looks like that? Not very many people. This is just another social media that sets those image standards for women like me(and you). I don’t think I’ll ever reblog/tweet/like/favorite a picture of a woman solely because her perfect body. We need to embrace perfectly imperfect bodies because that is REAL. Just a thought though I guess.

Just the gist since I last wrote: Thursday- I went to my moms. Had been fighting w K for unknown reasons. Friday- Called out of work. Spent a wonderful day out w K. Went down to LB and ate and got drinks at Yard House and Hooters. As well as walk around the boardwalk and whatnot. It was a lot of fun. Saturday-Worked 5-10am, tried to have sex with K but his fam from V surprised us right when we were about to start. (Tragedy really). I looked like a hot mess so I got ready, napped, and picked up some cream puffs and cheesecake for the BBQ that we later had. K was so tired and moody because he hadn't slept in over 24h and there was just so many people in the house. We ended up leaving early, went to a bar for a quick drink, smoked a bowl or two, then went to bed. We slept right away because we were both pretty high and he was so exhausted. But the next morning GIIIIIIRLLL. (Now Sunday) It. Went. Down. He went down. Okay, I went down too haaaa. We had sex sooooo good. Amazing really. Literally woke up to him kissing me and caressing me. Before I was even fully awake, he was already kissing my neck, making his way down my goodsssss. He took his time and went slow and steady til I came. Just his tongue. Nothing else. Then we made love. It was slow and passionate and so good. A little later we ordered breakfast and we showered meanwhile. I couldn’t resist and had to suck his dick. Just looked so scrumptious and delicious. Swallowed ever drop of his cum. Maybe I was just hungry? We ate breakfast and watched tv and cuddled for a couple hours. Which led to a pretty steamy, hot fuck. We later went over and saw his family before they went back to V. K, his bro, cousins and one of his aunts went to D&B to play some arcade games and whatnot. It was fun. Played a lot and K won a teddy bear for me. His aunt pulled me away at some point and we took a few shots. I was pretty tipsy because we all had been getting a couple drinks as we played. It was fun though. I liked it. Thennnn, later that night K and his family and I went to dinner for his gramps bday. It was nice to see his other side of his fam that day too.

I felt really badly though because I hadn’t seen my mom that weekend. I need to see her more often…..

Monday- Went to work then grocery shopped. Saw my mom there and we grabbed some food. It was nice to see my beautiful mama.

Today’s been okay. Was gonna go to school but didn’t end up going.. I’ll go Thursday.

I hung out with D a little while today at work. He’s having trouble with his gf. He just wants her to better herself and love herself more. She’s a 35 year old bartender at a very shitty bar that hates her life. She also can barley eat anything because she’s got all these food allergies. And, she has neck problems so she’s in pain often and doesn’t sleep well. She’s kinda a hot mess. I feel like he’s with her partly because he wants to save her in a way. D has a lot of issues too. Troubles with his dad and stuff. Idk. I feel like he’s too good for her. He needs someone better. More outgoing and happy. Someone who’ll take care of him for a change. Idkkkk. He proposed that if we’re both not married by 50, we’ll marry each other. So, there’s that.

Wonder if that’s wrong of me? Because I’m in a relationship now… probably is because it feels a little wrong. But there’s no romantic feelings there with D. Whatsoever. So, maybe it’s not really wrong. Idkkkk. Whatever.

Ok. That’s all for now. Baiii