#idk that ''when i'm out of options. same as everyone else'' line just gets stuck in my brain

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

this may just be the "i can make connections anywhere" brainworms talking but. i'm thinking abt how in part 13, arthur says he's only religious "when i'm out of options."

...and then how in coda, after losing everything and with really, truly nowhere else to turn, his very first action was to call kayne.

...and now i'm holding up arthur's relationship with the church/god and with kayne and comparing them in general. might be something here actually. apparently nigh-omnipotent being who is always watching and always listening but has been content to sit back and let his whole life play out without ever intervening. but this one doesn't pretend to be loving, this one tells him upfront how it regards him like a fascinating insect. this one has allowed him to perceive it, has demonstrated its knowledge and power, has proven its existence to him. and, of course, this one will come when called.

[v41entine]

***EDIT: organization + added screenshots I've finished my first avowed playthrough. I wanna talk about it.

[⚠️Major Spoiler Warning‼️]

( mid-game predictions: first / second )

First, things I was right about:

Woedica "burned" Sapadal aka The Voice and will make a cameo. (i was wrong about their imprisonment, but i should have stuck with my gut on this one bc otherwise i was right orz)

Sapadal learns from our decisions and it will change them throughout the story (the final convo with them was sooooo. it was everything 😭😭😭 the things i expected them to say about certain choices and how they INTERPRETED it thru THEIR lens was fascinating!!!!)

Sapadal is actually causing the plague to defend against the spread of the Engwithan God's influence. (OKAY i think it was actually the manifestation of their fear/loneliness BUT they are AFRAID of Aedyr and Woedica, so i was at least half right)

Now, i must confess, as seems to be my pattern with Obsidian games, I COMPLETELY MISSED OUT on a whooole chunk of the game. I missed everything in Fior, I recruited the Spy and still didn't put anything together and didn't realize what might happen. So that one's on me -_-

(towards endgame the companions are like. reminiscing about everything we've gone thru, and Yatzli straight up says "I thought you could have been more helpful" AND SHE WAS RIGHT IM SO SORRY BESTIE I COLLECTED UR VASE AND COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GIVE IT TO YOU 😭😭😭)

NEwayy I'm excited for my second playthru but first i want to go back and see the different endings with this envoy just for funsies :3

My endgame experience:

I should have known that it would end with a "Choose Aedyr or Sapadal/the Living Lands" thing; the culture you grew up with vs your "birthright"/patron. I was rly trying to stay neutral, like at first i was like, oh we're just following orders "stop the dreamscourge" and nothing else matters, but as a person with power and authority, ofc u aren't allowed to remain neutral in times of conflict 😔😔 i chose the gref (?) option, but i wanna focus on the other ending.

So when it came down to the decision on what to do with Sapadal, Free them or Destroy them, I was torn!! I did NOT trust them! but I think Marius made the point that maybe killing a God is not a good idea? So I tried for a different option and when they mentioned becoming "one", I looked at it this way:

I chose Ryngrim's offer. The same lesson in her fucked up little parable about pragmatism over sentimentality and "one for the many," I applied to this situation. I was afraid of both the ramifications of killing the god of the living lands, and also what a freed Sapadal might do, because they were, surprise! Vengeful.

My favorite line in particular was about my choices in handling the assassin/rebels.

So. "Sacrificing" the envoy to appease Sapadal and (hopefully) keep them in check, seemed like a worthy compromise! And yes, I did have the suspicion that Sapadal would replace our sentience with their own, but they didn't and everything was fine! until...

BTW the.. merging? was appropriately creepy and it definitely felt like you were giving away more than you intended. IMO. I hated it!

The final confrontation with Lödwyn was a blast, that little moment where Lödwyn realizes what's happened, and then your companions realize what's happening is, again, appropriately terrifying!

Except, that's it. You save the day and the credits roll, Sapadal has one last message for you and the epilogue plays.

And honestly, that was disappointing!!! like. No follow up whatsoever about being possessed, no longer being yourself, Kai expressed concern and then once Lödwyn died, he was back to normal???

It just seemed rly odd and anticlimactic idk! It felt like the results of this choice should have been more. ominous? permanent?? But, no! U just get a shot of your buddies havin a picnic together! It just doesn't add up for me :/

(↑ like those 2 shots happen in that exact order, did everyone else forget?? TT_TT)

I'm definitely going to play as this envoy again to make more intentional choices, but first, I feel like I need a fresh playthru altogether, so I'm excited to see how Sapadal will learn next time!🙂‍↕️ (ty obsidian i luv u obsidian ! 💖)

Overall

🌟 I loved the setting and I loved the story, tho tbh im very easy to please, so long as a game is fun, that's enough for meee :) but this one also has the fun moral quandaries common in obsidian story telling :3

💞 I really do feel like the typical "companion romance" we see in other RPGs would have detracted from this game. Sorry, not rly tho. The plot is very linear and pressing, and frankly, everyone's got bigger fish to fry!! I do like that they left the door open for an epilogue romance with Kai, I haven't heard/discovered if it's ONLY with Kai??? But I like that there is that little something for folks who prioritize romance in video games. (I stand by my personal take that romance is not, and has never really been, one of Obsidian's strengths! and i rly don't mind them leaving it out <3)

😔 I'm pretty sure I missed out on Giatta and Yatzli's personal quests :((( but I really enjoyed Kai and Marius'!! I actually just rly loved learning about the Living Lands in general!! Prior to rly knowing anything about it I played a Watcher from the Living Lands and now it feels like a whole new world actually being able to like. Conceptualize what their history/background was actually like yk?? V FUN. I enjoyed the camp banter, but I do wish there was at least a little regular banter when traveling, things could get quiet when exploring the same areas lmao.

👙 I LOVED BEING ABLE TO TAKE ON THE APPEARANCE OF OTHER ARMORS!!! sometimes the good armor is UGLY 🙂‍↕️ What i didn't love was being MICROMANAGED DURING FIGHTS "time for some new armor" the second i take 2 damage, "did that even hurt them?" when i don't 1-shot someone like WYM 😭😭 LEAVE ME ALONE worry abt urselves orz orz orz

😡 Speaking of armor, I just wanna express my ABSOLUTE disappointment in Obsidian completely erasing Pillars depiction of Aedyr/Aedyran fashion:

It's like they just used Aloth's armor ALONE as a reference, and not taking into account that Aloth dressed the way he did because he traveled!!! (esp since in deadfire his outfit still held the silhouette of aedyran clothing and in poe1 he didn't have his sash at all !! >:((() It felt like a downgrade :( instead of using the rich lore they already had they just overwrote it with some bland GOT shit :(((

🥰 All that aside, im excited for other playthroughs, the second playthru is always my fav bc i get to notice all the little details and foreshadowing i missed the first time around <333

🍄🍄 mushroom divider 🍄🍄 | 🌳🌲 branch divider 🌲🌳

[coffeestainedcamera]

Continuing to play through the new Penacony patch, maybe I'll finish up tomorrow after CPA exam cramming. The minibosses en route to the final boss are so annoying. Anyways, spoilers follow and I'll put translations into alt text. The Sunday vs Robin debate is just so interesting to me.

Also, I'm on team "would rather buy merch than in-app purchases" but got Robin! Idk how to actually play her yet but that's an issue for later! Anyways.

Yeah, so her elder brother is my favorite antagonist in this game so far. He's proposing something utterly disgusting, out of his savior's complex that imo kicked into overdrive after she almost died. But it was probably showing blatantly enough to her for a while before that, hence mail that was described as "pleasantries".

On its face, I understand the impulse of obsessively wanting to protect your sibling. They're your whole world, but at some point, they start to make their own choices. You might not understand them (like my little bro's interest in compsci) but if they're not hurting anyone, I think you should respect them.

So I get the horror of finding out little sis went out to a warzone to provide humanitarian aid and caught a stray. But this was ultimately her decision.

My personal take is that repressing free will is dictatorial behavior. I don't care about the "strong protecting the weak" excuse. And it was particularly dirty to start the dilemma game with the "hatchling" story, as that one really panders to this line of thinking imo.

In this case, I really do think that taking the wildlife to a rehabber is fine. And I suppose the Family would have enough resources to get the bird consistent veterinary care and everything else it needs. But this is still an animal, and we are talking about dilemmas involving free will of those who can talk and explain their thoughts to others. It's like one of those "appeal to emotion" arguments my history teacher warned about.

The man in the second dilemma deserved to get turned in right away. He's a monster.

I never considered anything but the "support" option for Robin's choice, but still had the lead speak with the party members, as to decide without consulting is some Sunday behavior.

And with that, we get the monologue.

Yeah, he went full Social Darwinist. There is no other description for a rhetoric that assumes that the strong should decide the happy life for the weak, particularly when he fails to provide a definition for his two categories. It comes off particularly heinously because this is a planet inspired by 1920's US, I suppose.

The party would need to track down Welt to answer his questions because I mean, some of the anti-equal suffrage comics we saw in history class sure were following that "women and ethnic and racial minorities don't know what's good for them" thinking. Also, man really bandied about this ideology in front of someone who would be stuck in a sanatorium back then.

For your consideration:

And so, it makes sense for Firefly in particular to tear this unholy lovechild of Social Darwinism and Messiah Complex a new one. Because ultimately, escaping from the flaws of free will is not going to address any of the issues. Yeah, sure, stay awake to power the Matrix where no one is terrible, but what happens when you croak due to sleep deprivation? Everyone goes back to failing in the same, or new and horrible ways! Or dies if the unplugging goes badly!

So yeah, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[pausegame]

Some slightly more thorough ramblings about small things in Veilguard under cut

Absolutely HOWLING at a few of the dialogue differences depending on race and faction choices.

Bellara is so cute when she talks about her and Davrin's gods, and bc I answered a few elf dialogues with Dalish knowledge she'll be like "Mine and Davrin's gods. Oh, and Rook's." It adds just a tiiiny bit of flavour but the way it's written is so her.

Davrin talking shit at Lucanis like "even though he kills people for money..... No offense Rook" HONEY I love you but also you have got to pass judgement on my baby too lmfaO I know you get each other a little hot and bothered but still 😂😂😂😂

I need to roll a Warden Rook for him so their morals are aligned, also the tragedy of being a Warden is lessened IMO if you have another Warden to share it with, as Evka and Antoine or Alistair and his lover. I'd managed to get "Thrill of the Chase" as my Rook's relationship with Davrin pretty early and they seemed close during the Weisshaupt quest which made the potential of parting very sad as she she would outlive him by nature of the Wardens/The Calling. It just sits right in my soul if they're on a the same clock fngmlhkg

Some of the other characters are wary of Lucanis as well but not my Rook so I'm gonna need to do that for romancing them too. Except Emmrich, he seems perfectly comfortable with both Lucanis and my Rook being paid killers and upon initial meeting he was honestly thrilled to ask Rook more about life as a Crow. Previously chatted about banter options with Crow Rook. He's so chill to talk to both of them and he's just like "You're an Antivan Crow, yes? You must live such a full life! Please, you must tell me more of you misadventures, once we're out of here, of course." The game likely has him say it for all factions, but it's nice that he's so open to hearing about contract killings, compared to other factions with more noble goals.

Idk where I heard someone say Rook doesn't participate in banter, I think it may have been someone from the council but Rook is well within them.

One starts with Emmrich asking Lucanis about the Crows, to which he points that Rook is also a Crow. Rook throws it back at him that they're not nearly as infamous as the Demon of Vyrantium, which makes Lucanis grumble. And then the subsequent one I got later starts with Emmrich going "So Lucanis, you're a Crow..." And without missing a beat Rook's just like "I'm a Crow too" and Lucanis asks her if Viago knew that, to which she grumbles in return.

Had Neve and Lucanis in a particular Lighthouse scene where she kinda gives him attitude about not trusting her, and then gives Rook attitude for having sided with Lucanis in a previous decision that's faction related and it just looks like she's dressing down the Crows and it's hilarious.

Also I think it was alleged in some reviews or just the obnoxious incel brigade who said everyone likes each other and they're too pleasant?? I've gotten to a point where cutscenes happen when they argue, Neve got mad at my Rook for a decision (rightfully so!) which impacts whether she can even heal, leveling up bonding with her takes significantly slower than everyone else as a result and it took a while to get her to open up to my Rook again, Davrin and Lucanis don't get along but they are civil with each other, respect each other to a degree and openly admit that they need to work together. Taash and Emmrich also do not get along, it's hilarious.

I probably should've done my first playthrough with subtitles off though, since the whole line of dialogue spoils some of it, and my eyeballs are trained to go low. I kinda wish they stuck them at the top of the screen like in Inquisition so the rest of the screen is in my peripheral.

I love the combat but miss stealth mode with my life!!! It was always great to break out of an encounter and come back with a vengeance with it. That said I do love that every fight could be the last. There's idk a more realistic sense that any fight could go sideways. Sometimes a small encounter maybe in a side quest will be super difficult bc of the location and the terrain which makes it super hard to navigate, while some boss fights are wide and open for easy movement and I know the enemy type so my team is built accordingly and it moves super fast. It's challenging and I've died several times on the standard Adventurer mode but it's really fun. I do love that I can oneshot/headshot enemies like in Tomb Raider. Those games taught me well. I did think prior that I should run a warrior playthrough, I probably still will but it's def lower priority since I'm not super proficient at the class that suits my playstyle the best lol

Antoine and Evka and Davrin are really great Wardens. Also some folks dissed how bright the game is??? Some of the dialogue is a lot more playful and light but everything with the Wardens, as has always been the case, is insanely dark. Maybe more so in this game than Origins, bc unlike Origins where the Wardens are the heroes, they start more like how the Order is in Inquisition and goes from there. They're still tragic and dark and complex, and I really wish I had managed to finish Last Flight book before I played the game dhdkfbfjf I still have 2 short stories left to read in Tevinter Nights as well.

On that note, reading the short stories and brushing up on lore/being a longtime fan definitely pays off. I understood a reference about the Qunari thanks to some lore dhdjdjfnf

[petrichorpetals]

So from the evidence I've collected, I'm very sure my Yeosang came here from another timeline/world theory is correct.

This mostly stems from what we learned from fever part 3 and the deja vu mv but honestly the Yeosang being sus about this had already been foreshadowed in his diary entry of fever part 2. (You'll have to forgive my terrible pictures I have fever part 3 in front of me and I'm too lazy to grab fever part 2 to take better pics)

Basically our setup to this was how at the end of the diary film we switched dimensions into the world of fireworks which I'm fairly sure is called Strictland. Everyone basically says how much the new world feels like their old one but different. The first time I read this I wasn't sure what he meant by "Everyone says this is a new world but somehow, I'm familiar with the scenery here. " line and just took it at face value to be metaphor. But given his repetition of staring down the camera to say "I remember" in Deja Vu, it would make a lot more sense if we take it quite literally too mean I remember this place because I'm from here. There's also a lot of talk about the word world in "wanting to escape the world I've lived in, the world I've been trapped in" as well as "the friends who have willingly invited me to their world". Basically the tldr of the matter is that yeosang escaped from the world of Fireworks into the world of school!Ateez using a chromer that breaks. (IMO we see this exact moment where it breaks at the end of Deja Vu) I say it's likely a chromer since Yeosang shows an at least approximate knowledge of what would happen if he breaks one when he breaks the one the black pirates/halateez gave to hongjoong while the android guardian/white mask holds him hostage.

Yeosang seems to have an approximate knowledge here of what would happen if the Chromer broke, to the point where he doesn't even call it the Chromer when he's thinking about what they know about the object, he specifically calls it a sandglass when any other mention of it has been the Chromer.

There's also the matter of him going out of the way of saying "My friends would not have been all scattered if I had not met them at first". This could very well be talking about where they lost Yeosang and scattered in the hallway but given his wording of at first, I'm putting this as evidence that Yeosang was a newcomer to their world when he got here with the chromer and wasn't a part of their friend group originally.

This theory gets backed up by the ending bit of Not Too Late playing at the end of Deja Vu and if you do a quick look into the lyrics, Not Too Late comes across very much as the beginning of school Ateez where they're all lamenting about being lonely before they all get together to make friends.

Except for two things.

One of which is Wooyoung and Yeosang talking about not being able to get out or escape (Which lines up for Yeosang if he's trapped in this new timeline and adds some interesting implications for Wooyoung I'll get into on a post about him later).

The second of which is Mingi's part. Mingi brings up killing and saving, both things that happen and we see happening during Inception and Thanxx in Fever Part 1 when Hongjoong keeps resetting the timeline using the chromer. There's two implications here: one, Mingi is aware of the timeline resetting (something that I already suspected but is now confirmed) and two, while this might seem like a song from the very beginning of school Ateez, Mingi gives us the added context that it is very much not. (It's also interesting that Yeosang's the one that pulled out Mingi's headphones to make him past attention to the world around him in diary film but like Wooyoung, I'll get into Mingi later in another post)

Since we're assumedly several timeline cycles in, why is this song playing over Yeosang breaking the Chromer? I posit that instead of this being the moment where Yeosang breaks the Chromer while escaping the white Android, this is instead either the moment Yeosang crash lands into school Ateez's world via his own "sandglass" for the first time or this still is that moment, but due to time shenanigans, the Yeosang that escaped just so happens to have escaped back to when he first got to their world making him trapped not only in school Ateez's world, but in an endless cycle of breaking the Chromer to get there in the first place.

We see that Yeosang doesn't go back to their original world and warehouse with them afterwards. Likely because he wasn't a part of their world to begin with to return back with them.

There's other bits of evidence that say that Yeosang with the broken Chromer at the end of Deja Vu is going to school Ateez like the hand that reached for Yeosang had a sleeve similar to their school uniform in Inception.

(Interestingly enough, Yeosang has an emblem that isn't like anyone else's on his uniform and Wooyoung has several emblems. Not necessarily relevant to my current point but food for thought.)

I'm not one of those people that obsess over hands, so idk whose hand that is exactly, but I do have suspicions.

If we're looking at the rings and at how one hand kind of mirrors the other, we can come to the conclusion that it might be the same person. We can go so far as to think that maybe, that hand might even belong to another version of Yeosang. Potentially even the hala!Yeosang that we catch a glimpse of in the diary film giving Hongjoong the chromer. (Side note: I only just realized that it was actually hala!yeosang that gave hongjoong the chromer and not hala!hongjoong like I thought going in. Yeosang really does just have a longstanding history with the Chromer huh.)

Edit: it's now basically been confirmed by the making of deja vu mv that the hand is Hongjoong's so basically depicting the moment Hongjoong reached out for yeosang when the timelines reset. I still standby the rest of my theory. Here's the screenshot I grabbed off the alternate hand angle in the mv making video:

For me personally, a lot of things start to click into place when we consider the possibility that Yeosang is actually from another world. Even his like a bird in a cage stuff makes sense when viewed in this light. He has the freedom of song and dance that he didn't have in Strictland, which banned any form of music or dance thinking it would lead to human emotion, but is stuck in this new world with no other option but to potentially repeat the cycle of when he got here.