#idk problem still unsolved but at least after the second round of crying I’m stable enough to sleep
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Some venting in the comments I’m ok now
#I’m rlly not the best at handling relationships and such#I was bullied at elementary school#what happened then was not important atm so fast forward to the conclusion#that is ever since it was kinda hard for me to put trust in irl people#so basically I tend to neglect my negative thoughts and anxiety when I’m crazy busy#so it bounces back twice as hard once I slackened#and idk why I just burst out crying an hour ago bc I just felt so lonely#it sounds pretty stupid#tbh#anyways a part of me didn’t want my roommates to worry yet I kinda wished they did#anyways my mental state is so fucked up I know that#so I was crying on the roof at one am#I have class at eight fyi#and I’m typing this at two thirty lmao#anyways I calmed down a bit and did my stretching exercises before I sleep#and I opened up the CEC tags in AO3 bc I didn’t have time to open that for at least two weeks#and I started crying again and just BLASTED YUME FANFARE#idk problem still unsolved but at least after the second round of crying I’m stable enough to sleep#dang it’s 02:22 by the time I finished this#ok bye#running on 4.5 hours of sleep per day I must be insane
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