#idk man. stupid metaphor maybe. i'm tired.

[n3ongold3n]

I feel like adhd is a bit like an very beautiful wool garment - intricate and finely made. But it has moth holes. Some are visible and some are hidden, only to present themselves when that part of the fabric is strained.

[mymarifae]

I'd like to ask Aventurine for the character bingo

the crowd yearns for kakavasha... me too man

to elaborate on some of these boxes:

- i'm going to go ahead and boldly assume that the penacony arc is very much not the last we've seen of aventurine and he's going to show up more in the future. and he'll be like. important to the progression of the story again. you never know though. hoyoverse is really stupid. hence the golden '?'s

- so like. i've come to really adore ratiorine, but holy shit the way this fandom has reduced aventurine (and veritas too but this ain't about him rn) to ship fodder 😭 like. aventurine exists outside of his interactions with veritas. he has relationships with other characters. i'm really tired of the way some people frame veritas' note as the one thing that saved him from sinking into the nihility like... bro he wouldn't have even looked at the damn thing if acheron hadn't talked him off the metaphorical ledge and reminded him it was still in his pocket!!!!! and like, why do you think veritas just left him with the note instead of loudly hinting at him to look at it right then and there? it would have saved him the trouble of having to go and nearly kill himself. probably. maybe. idk he would have had the opportunity to rework his plan at least. but!!!!

veritas was respecting aventurine's independence and autonomy. he knew he couldn't just swoop in and provide him with all the answers and "save" him. not only would it be poorly received (like aventurine is EXTREMELY protective of his independence and autonomy; for much of his life, things have been entirely out of his control, and now that he has [some of] that control back he's not about to let it go, and if you block him from doing something, even if it's for his own safety and well-being, he'll Lash Out. Badly), but also it would mean aventurine leaves penacony without learning anything. and he'll ultimately pull the exact same stupid reckless suicidal stunts until something does finally kill him. if anyone was going to save anyone here, it had to be aventurine saving himself. nothing else would make the lesson stick

idk. like, aventurine is just so fiercely independent. he doesn't need veritas to pick up the shards of all his insecurities and traumas and piece him back together. he doesn't want veritas to do that. he wants to do it himself. i think he probably needs a really good hug and he deserves to learn what it's like to be cared for again, but he's not a fragile delicate little thing that needs to be babied

- ^ on that note, what i mean by "it's complicated" is like... he's not a horrible person but he's not exactly the most innocent perfect victim. he has a reputation throughout the universe for being cunning and dangerous and manipulative and it's very much deserved lol. there's a lot of gray here, in his sense of morality. a lot of it is probably born from the fact that he just stopped caring after he earned his stoneheart title and discovered he was too late to exercise any of his newfound power to help the people he wanted the power to help, but like. he's a grown ass man. he's pulled more than one shady stunt. The Babying, man 😭 i'm sick and tired

- and! i adore every part of his design except for how pasty white he is. this man should have been brown. this is another point for the "done dirty by fans" because not nearly enough people are willing to deviate from canon to give him brown skin lol

[ghost-of-you]

Why do people feel the need to produce break up rumors out of thin air after every tour/album 🫥 the expectations of some people in this fandom are wild to me.

What do people think they should do? Even if it weren't for Michael's baby, they released an album last year and played two tours, of course they'll need some time to recharge now. Why would you expect new music or ANOTHER tour now already?

And they have not said or done anything that would indicate that they are thinking about breaking up and still people choose to be paranoid instead of putting some trust in them and just let them rest.

Idk maybe I'm the opposite of those people who are still traumatised by 1D or whatever but my other favourite band just had a 5 year gap between albums, they didn't play any live shows for like 4 of those years (partly bc of the pandemic od course) and the front man did a solo album + tour in the meantime. One other band member did some stuff as a producer and from like 2 of them I think I saw a total of 4 social media posts during that time lmao. I didn't see a single person worried that they would break up. That never came up as a possibility anywhere. And then I go to 5sos fandom spaces and people are freaking out when the band goes on a break because one of them will have to care for a damn newborn like please 💀

Sorry for ranting, I'm sure you have a lot of this stuff in your inbox now. No need to respond, I just needed to express to someone how truly baffled I am by this behaviour.

Honestly, I blame one direction for a large part of it. Obviously not the boys in 1D but the whole culture and the intensity around them. I like them but I was never in really invested in them so I did watch everything that happened from the outside and I keep seeing the effects of it. A lot of people did not handle their break up and since 5sos has this connection to them that ended bringing fans over to 5sos people get triggered. But it's bullshit because 5sos is a band that wanted to be the band they are. To act as if 5sos is doomed to follow 1Ds footsteps is stupid because 1D was a bunch of kids who didn't want to be in a band, who got put in a band package and explored until they broke. And all of them are doing the thing they wanted all along, which is be solo acts, so the comparison is not fair. You can't compare 5sos to the boyband curse, because they are no are not a boyband. And this is the dumbest argument ever but it is true, 5sos has a lot more freedom with each other to do other things while still keeping the 5sos project alive. Everything they do that's not exactly like the 17 yo posting keeks and doing twitcam from a mansion creating a constant stream of content creates a wave of mass histeria and honestly, I am so tired of it. Even if 5sos were about to take a decade long break, which I don't think they will, they like making music with each other too much to just stop, they can. They gave us over a third of their lives already. They are allowed different dreams.

Also I think there's this layer of desensitization surrounding famous people in general, that makes people not see them as real people with real feelings or see them as this character they get mad won't follow the script they made in their heads. And the whole way some parts of the music industry just want a really fast rotation that's not really possible and things like K-pop that end up having a higher rotation that creates a bigger stream of content that's not really sustainable in a healthy way for very long but creates a weird expectation anyway. And people think they're allowed to demand shit just because (and this goes from the temper tantrum for the lack of tour to the obnoxious hbg chanting)

5sos already did the killing themselves for the band. Now they live and have a band. I rather to see things this way. They are happy, they are thriving in other aspects of life. If that means waiting another 2, 3, 5, 10 years for new music, so be it. To use 5sos own metaphor, they're driving the bus, we're just along for the ride so whatever stops and turns they want is what goes. They can do whatever they want because is their life and it's their band. And I'm not worried they're gonna break up. Not even a little bit. If not seeing them for a year while Michael settles into being a father is what it takes for them to be happy and healthy, then so be it, let them exist outside the band.

[hyenadon]

I've seen so many trans men just adore the barbie movie and i'm on that team too. And ive seen and heard them talk about how masculinity and patriarchy is this...it's a prison. It's a beautiful golden perfect prison. If you are seen as a cis man, particulalrly a white cis man who has no disability and no neurodivergence, you get everything. Everything. It's just fucking handed to you. You never worry about the pepper spray clipped to your keys. You've never even bought pepper spray. You don't even think about it, you don't have to think about it. And idk something about this movie maybe made me realize that I will never feel like a cis man. I will never feel like a man and maybe that's okay. Maybe I prefer that. But my connection to masculinity will always be through the lense of being trans and gay and having grown up as a little girl. I like my identity. I like who I am. But my identity will always and inextricably be tied to being a little gay and a little fruity. And I shouldn't have to just like. Abandon my history as a woman to call myself by he/him pronouns. I think my history of living life as a girl is important to me. also just tagging this back to barbie - the first experience barbie has in the real world is some hardcore sexual harassment. And I just wanna ask anyone who has ever been perceived as a woman - do you remember the first time you were ever threatened like that?

I do. I was twelve. I was twelve years old and a teenage boy screamed "i'll rape you in your dreams" to me when I was walking home from school. I was TWELVE YEARS OLD. That's wrong. that's just WRONG. jesus christ. can you just imagine offering that violence to a child? and like. I actually can't even imagine being a teenage boy offering that violence to someone. I don't want to be that. I don't like that. I feel deeply viscerally uncomfortable with the fact - the *fact* that men and masculinity are tied along with violence. And so this whole thing is making me think. This stupid little movie about dolls, this stupid, derivative, easy movie, about a fucking doll, it's making me think harder than I have in- god, i swear, years.

The brain is a muscle (it's not, it's an organ, but stay with me for the metaphor) and I am working it out so hard that my brain is so sore. I'm thinking about so much. I'm thinking about my own gender and how gender is inextricably linked to power dynamics. I'm also thinking about men and masculinity. I'm also thinking about how I need to read some more bell hooks. I'm also thinking about feminist pedagogy. i'm also thinking about how like. well. the movie did indeed feature many characters of color, the movie was still incredibly white, and therefore the movie is and will always be about white feminism. I'm thinking about how there is nothing I can do to fix it. The world. I can't fix it. It's wrong and awful and I can't fix it. I can't be a woman enough to fix it and I can't be a good enough man to fix it. There is something so wrong and broken about the world. I want to make it better. I can't.

I don't even know what to do or what to say. This movie gave me a boost in self confidence - that's great - but as I said to my bestie - I don't want that. I don't wanna feel smart. I don't enjoy this. Feeling smart means I am aware of how awful the world is. How incredibly prevalent misogyny is. Every second of every day is misogynist. Every movie. Every tv show. Every book. It's hatred. I mean. I like that I know i'm smart now, my Media Analysis Powers are turned the fuck ON (ive always known that my superpowers are just in analyzing media and writing. even when I am at my worst self hatey self, I know that I can think about fiction, and write)

but I want my media analysis powers turned back off. because it's *painful* to think about this. It hurts too much. Its only been a couple days and I am so, so tired.

being aware of the world and myself and my friends and the systems that oppress us. It sucks. i feel stabbed.

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Yes to Yuji wrecking Mahito! Just so much yes my boy needs to avenge those wrongfully killed!

See I wanted Geto to be on my shit list (as I'm not normally a bad guy lover) but I swear he wore me down reading the manga. Plus he's just so pretty he makes my brain all static noises 😳 Not to mention that backstory between him and Gojo like YES give me all the drama I need buried drama 🤩

Totally agree on the Mai thing. See I wanted to hate Todo too bc of well him beating on Megumi but the moment him and Yuji were just like "Big Dumb Meat Heads" together I threw that out the window! Those two together are *chefs kiss* Absolutely stupendous I never get tired of them 👌👌👌

Mai on the other hand is just crawling more and more under my skin. Like why you gotta be like that gurl? You wanna go in the crusty corner with Mahito? Cuz you gotta crusty attitude that needs fixing like yesterday 😐

Literary brain tells me it wants more drama/character growth between Megumi and Toji. But my useless overly big heart wants to punch Toji and protect Megumi at all costs bc he just showed up on the screen like the kool aid man and burst right into my heart and I shan't forgive Megumi for that but now I will die for him so ¯\_( ツ)_/¯

But I'm not the only one who lowkey fantasizes about self inserty type day dreams??? Like every day all day I got my thoughts flowing into 500 different lil oneshots I'm too chicken to post anywhere bc I havent written anything in a while and I feel I'm rusty. But your idea! YOUR IDEA WOO BOI- I'm not even a Gojo fanatic (like I adore him but my heart dick thudded elsewhere RIP) but that scene you described of straddling him just to rip his blindfold off in the heat of an arguement that's clearly deadly to either party- Just to see him on the brink of tears fighting back every emotion to slate his composure to cocky/uncaring. Only to have it obviously failing, and the metaphorical reality around you both crumbling along with Gojo's emotional state- Oh God I would read that crap outta something like that. It fills me with the angst and I thrive on it daily *heavy breathing* You should think about posting more of your original content too! Self inserty or not bc that sounds down right brilliant on so many levels

💛anon

Bro I can't help but feel had for Gojo. That shit must have hurted. Like he looked so calm and collected when it all happened but was he really? His best friend potential lover went feral and murdered an entire village AND his family then he tried to kill his first years once and now AGAIN what is happening. Did you see the look on Gojo's face when Yaga told him he went rogue? That was a face of hurt and betrayal he couldn't even begin to understand at the young age of... What was it, 17? 18? He was practically a little itty bitty baby compared to now. I haven't read the prequel yet don't laugh at me but I've heard it hurts so much worse having to face Getou back then AND now. Stupid brain worms, stop fucking around.

I wanted to hate Todo too hut before he even turned good I couldn't. I have a thing for big buff boys who have zero brains and too much brawns I'm looking at you Metal Bat, Captain Ōbi I just wanna adopt/marry them because in all reality they're trying their best. I'm really glad Todo exists and has his big brother delusion because honestly I think that's something Yuji needs, especially in the current arc. Yuji needs as much support as he can get.

PFFFT CRUST CORNER I cannot with you omg they do need to sit on the time out chair for s bit and think about what they've done lmaooo

DID YOU CALL TOJI ZENIN- FUSHIGURO THE FUCKING KOOL AID MAN AHAHAHHHSH oh my god i hate this so fucking much or were you calling Megumi the koolaid man bc really each one is absurd n e wayz I dunno bro I rlly can't wait until Megs wakes up post Shibuya arc and actually has time to process what the fuck happened to him back then. I really want to know if he can connect the dots by himself and realize holy shit that was the source of my daddy issues right there in the flesh and how he reacts to him being a curse and all that. There's so many ways that can go too it's scary to think about.

Low key unrelated but I have a theory that Gojo can see everything from his little cube prison and knows what's going on. Its probably because of the six eyes, or because he's just fucking Gojo, or even because Geto seems kinda sadistic and would do something like that. But I can imagine him watching Megs and Toji fight and it absolutely destroying him. For starters, Gojo killed him .... Right? Wtf is he doing back? What? Second don't commit suicide in front of your kid oh my god Toji what (I'm probably just salty because of a past experience, but also, calm down Toji oh my god) and third I can see it hurting Gojo because in a way it feels like he's been trying to protect Megumi. Its obvious Gojo has this attachment to Megumi, and maybe it's because they've known each other so long, but I don't think Gojo is prepared to deal with the aftermath. Does he have to tell him, if Megs doesn't put the pieces together? Will he have to knock some sense into him to actually tell him? Because he DID try to tell Megs once before and he avoided it like the plague. Its also gotta hurt when you feel like someone's dad and you witness them have a bad interaction with their other dad.

Throw in his daughter being on the brink of death, his other son being emotionally demolished, his second year kids lost in the void and not even his void, his best friend locked him in a box, his other best friend exploded, etc. I think Gojo I pretty distraught even if he doesn't show it

Bro okay my brain is riddled with ideas like this and 90% of them are always angst. Idk where tf they come from half the time but they exist and I hate it. They're always self inserts too.

So I actually read this ask last night, but due to personal reasons I didn't reply to it now, and I actually started experimenting writing out this scenario. I had to stop when I wrote the line "Approximately one year after the first finger was consumed, Itadori Yūji was formally executed. At three minutes to midnight, Sukuna Ryomen was expelled from his body, destroying the vessel along with it. The executioner was none other than the teenager's teacher and mentor Gojo Satoru. When Y/N awoke to this news, they attacked on sight."

Oh god I made myself so sad with that line

And i do really want to post some of my fics, like I did with Nobara Meeting Sukuna For The First Time. However, I only posted that because it was short and simple lmao it was basically just a meme I didn't even run it though grammarly like I do with the headcanons.

I like sticking to the headcanons as of right now because I feel like grammar didn't exist when I make those. I can spell things wrong and leave off punctuation and word then like I'm a third grader just learning English and no one will laugh lmao. Fanfics kinda stress me out because i want them to be perfect. I also have a hard time with fight scenes and transitioning and it's s mess.

I REALLY want to write out my Guardian Angel! Junpei AU because I think it's so cute. Just the idea that this boy is assigned to fight against fate and the higher ups and keep Yuji alive despite him being an idiot and a target is cute to me. Like I just canon him being the plantonic equivalent of in love with this boy and he feels like he rlly owes it to Yuji for trying to save him it's the LEAST he can do. Plus I need the mental imagine if Junpei annoying reader-chan into finding Yuji because "they play a pivotal role in Yuji's future" just for the "pivotal role" to literally be playing therapist and just being there for him and being a medium between Junpei and Yuji because guardian angels aren't allowed to reveal themselves to the person they're guarding but also/// he might risk his wings being stripped just to talk to Yuji one more time////

Okay I'm going to stop now

But yea, maybe if I have time and create little mini works like Nobara Meeting Sukuna For the First Time I'll def post them! I'll work on casually making them longer and soon I'll be confident to posts longer ones. But until then I hope just the headcanons at alright ;-;

[neoarchipelago]

Lisbon Lights (John Wick x Reader) part 3

Word count : 4 708

AN: i need to finish my series so I can start a new one LOL so I think there will be 1 or 2 chapters of Lisbon lights after this one! I advise you to re-read the last chapter if you don't fully remember it, and idk... This might not end with a 'happily ever after' we'll see... ENJOY ❤️ ps: OUTFIT at the bottom, with the 'show' she put up, the gif didn't want to stay up here...

Warnings: Violence, kidnappings, abuse, curse words

------

"I-I'm not undressing him!" You half-yelled. 

"So that's what you were doing? Your question about tattoos? You wanted to see me shirtless" John spoke innocently, making you gasp in indignation. 

"Of course not! Idiot!" You yelled, throwing him a pillow, which he perfectly dodged while grinning at you. 

"I see that you two get along so well. And I was worried you might find it bothersome that there's only one bed." Amalia said, a devilish grin on her lips.

"What?" John's voice and yours melted into the same tone of shock. 

Amalia was already leaving, as John turned to the bedroom door. You quickly jumped up from the couch, following him half running. You stood at the entrance next to John, watching in almost horror the queen bed. 

"You gotta be kidding me." You whispered. 

You sighed looking up at John. He looked as taken aback as you. After all this hasn't been on your mind. Sure sharing a suite with Wick was already printed in your brain, but the same bed? You sighed again, closing your eyes for a second. You felt tired and honestly, it didn't entirely matter to you. 

"Whatever I guess…" you simply let out as you turned back to the living room. 

You heard John sigh as well, but shrugged it off. You took a glance at the entrance where your things had already been brought to you. You looked through it and grabbed your toothbrush. You walked to the bathroom to brush your teeth, closing the door behind you. You felt exhausted and you were dying to just lay in bed. When you walked out you noticed John sitting on the couch, looking up at you. You smiled softly before walking to the bedroom. This whole scenery felt weird but it would have been much worse if it had been without John. You were almost a bit a glad that you were staying with him tonight as you smiled to yourself. You decided to keep your pajamas on, your shorts and the tank top. You threw the covers down on one side of the bed as you heard John walk in a few seconds later. 

"This is my side of the bed Mister wick." You say smiling. 

"I've noticed." He simply answered walking to his side of the bed.

He sat down and you watched him as he took off his shirt, his back muscles rolling under the fabric. You blushed slightly and bit your lip, turning away as soon as you saw him glance at you. You unhooked your bra and threw it on a chair. 

"What are you?!" You heard John say.

You were already slipping under the fluffy and comfy covers when he spoke. 

"I don't like sleeping with my bra. I'm not used to it." You simply said, humming softly. 

"Can't you get used to it tonight?" His voice was slightly lower and you shivered a bit.

"No mister wick. Good night." You spoke in a playful tone but feeling your eyelids fall already. 

You must have been really tired because you dozed off while John put himself into bed to sleep as well. Maybe an hour passed or two when you woke up again. You blinked a few times getting used to the darkness of the room. Only the light coming from the windows lit up the room, just enough for you to see the shape and dim color of what surrounded you. You spun around facing John's back. You were suddenly in trans in front of the view. You were able to see John's back perfectly, the covers reaching only his waist and he was shirtless. You took in his appearance and the tattoo's design with a bit more focus this time. It was beautiful, and fit him perfectly. It was extremely hot and sexy and it made you want to run kisses all over but John wouldn't really appreciate that. His back, just that, was beautiful, lit by the lights of the city, Lisbon lights. You let your hand wander closer to him, but froze a few inches from his skin. Maybe was it better not to wake him up… but your entire being was begging to feel his skin again. 

Your fingertips ran over the cold skin of his back and you mentally took note to cover him right after your little exploration. It was old definitely and you could notice some scars here and there over it or on his back in general. You lightly traced the design, taking in every detail and you felt compelled to lay a kiss there, in the middle of his back, right between his shoulders. Feeling brave or perhaps just driven by a feeling you had yet to fully understand, your lips placed a soft kiss on that spot. When you realized your action you pulled back, lips and hand from his skin. You were slightly shocked of your own movements but sighed of relief when John still looked like he was sleeping. 

However. Not everything is always as it seems and you watched wide eyed as John turned on his back, fully awake and glancing at you. The hand that had caressed his back a few seconds ago was now on your mouth and you looked at John, blushing a bit too much. John's expression was entirely blank, there was no way to know if he was furious or if he enjoyed it. Your heart was racing and none of you made a move. But when time seemed to stretch and the seconds felt like hours you finally spoke, in a voice that you almost didn't recognize. 

"S-sorry.." you whispered. 

John seemed to process your apology, perhaps was he not fully awake or maybe he didn't even know what you've done. 

"Why did you do that?" He whispered too, with his dark and low voice.

Ok..he knew what you've done. Of course he did! He felt it!

"I.. I don't really know. I'm sorry mister wick…" you tried, truly meaning it. But the frown that appear on his face made your heart skip a beat as you watched him turn to you fully. 

"Don't call me that after what you did." His voice sounded cold and it hurt. 

"I'm sorry John.." you spoke again looking at him in the eyes, truly feeling sorry. You were being clumsy, acting like a stupid teen in love, and that wasn't you. That wasn't the girl you were proud of being but something about him made you want to let your walls down and let him in. Perhaps he had even read all of those thoughts in your eyes exactly at that moment because you weren't prepared to feel his arms wrap around your back and pull you closer to him. The feeling of his chest and his smell made you close your eyes. 

"Just tonight, right?" He whispered.

The sound of his voice made you shiver and he pulled you even closer. You nodded in his arms, agreeing to those terms as if allowing yourself to be weak just tonight. 

It didn't took long for you to drift back to sleep. 

----

The morning sun felt hot against your face. You wanted to move away but you felt trapped. It took a few seconds to get adjusted to the light, and you had to blink away the blurriness a few times. You took note of the strong arm locked around your waist, trapping you against a broad chest. Your mind was a bit of a mess and you thought back to every event of last night. The attack, John saving you… you losing entirely control and… this. You had cuddled up during the night after you had caressed his back and… kissed it. You laid in bed thinking. It wasn't like you to act like this. You couldn't deny how John made you feel, he was handsome, mysterious, he could be entirely rough and soft as well. You couldn't deny either, the way your heart jumped when John came to save you. You didn't remember the last time you let a sob, a real one, escape you in front of someone. You couldn't stop yourself from touching his skin and not only his back, you wanted to leave a trail of kisses all over him, the way he groaned at every touch… 

You shook your head groaning. 'wake up! What the fuck is wrong with you?!' you mentally scolded yourself. You were the one who tempted targets and killed them. Not the one being tempted. It was maybe just because you thought of him as interesting. A child is always obsessed with a new toy but it never lasts. No. Somehow even that metaphor was annoying. You couldn't possibly think of John as a toy. You hid your face with your hand softly whining. The soft chuckle coming from behind your back however made you freeze. 

"What's wrong? Did embarrassment hit the mighty goddess?" His voice was rough and slightly sleepy and you wanted to melt on the spot, but you put up your walls again. 

"Oh… I'm a goddess huh? That's flattering…" you joked in playful tone, earning a groan from the man.

The vibration that rose through his chest made your breath hitch and you felt too hot at the moment. You needed to escape his arms. Even if you were begging to stay like this all day long. Silence fell and you were almost surprised it didn't feel awkward at all. You sighed, closing your eyes for second. Every dream has to end, and this one had just reached it's sad ending. You cleared your throat and softly sat up, pulling away his arm. You still softly smiled at him, hiding all the confusing feelings he made you feel.

"Being in bed with you is wonderful sir, but we have a plan  to put up in action…" you let out, a devilish smirk on your lips. 

John chuckled at your sudden energy, as you jumped out of bed and walked into the living room, leaving him in bed. You took a bit of time to breath away from him and his tempting person. You sighed as a knock on the door was heard and trotted to the door to open it. You grinned at the waiter who had brought breakfast for you and john. 

"G-good morning miss… the director is offering you breakfast, as an apology for last night's… inconvenience." 

You giggled like a child, opening the door wide open. The waiter walked in, as you followed him, attracted to that wonderful smell of toast, cappuccino and 'natas'. You leaned over the food grabbing a hot one, and taking a bite of it moaning sinfully as you closed your eyes. Yes being in Lisbon was like being in heaven to you. However you opened your eyes as you felt a presence behind you, glancing back at a glaring John. You frowned as you followed his look, falling into the lost gaze of the waiter who was gazing hungrily at you and particularly your chest. You hadn't put on a bra, and your nipples were visible underneath the white tank top. You wanted to laugh at the situation, but before you could react, John spoke in a tone that sent shivers down your spine. 

"If you're done. Get out." 

The rough and low voice woke the waiter from his trans,as his eyes filled with shame and fear. You've rarely saw men running out so fast. 

"What was that for?" You asked Innocently earning another glare from John. 

'now now… are we being protective of me mister wick?' you thought to yourself, unable to stop a bright smile from escaping you. John simply groaned, grabbing a mug behind you, before walking away to get coffee. You felt particularly happy at the moment, John's little demonstration of attention had put you in the greatest mood. However, you froze once more remembering that it wasn't your role to be this happy of someone's attention. Actually. You shouldn't be giving a single shit. You felt trapped once more against the evidence that something was going on with you and all in all it had to be because of John. 

"(y/n). Are you even listening to me?" 

John's annoyed voice rang making you fall back into reality. Batting your eyes Innocently, you walked to the couch where John was sitting, sat down next to him, and looked at him as innocently as possible, all the while sticking your chest out just enough to drag his attention there. 

"I'm sorry sir. Could you repeat, I'll be a good girl now." 

You were living for the look of slight shock on John's face. You did warn him you'd be nice only for one night, and time was up. Going back to your usual self, you almost chuckled out loud, but managed to keep an innocent look on your pretty face. John looked pissed but kept going. 

"The plan. Tell me what is it." His voice was grumpy and you honestly wanted to hug him. 

The plan. You almost forgot about that. Your brain was really too overwhelmed by John. 

"Oh.. yes. Well. I thought about the situation."

"You can think?" John asked sarcastically. 

You glared at him, but resumed your explanation. 

"If she gets to us before we do, it's over. We have to make her so angry that she'll make a mistake and we can get to her." You spoke seriously. 

"So your plan, after having me killing her father, is to make her even more angry?" John asked looking at you confused. 

You smiled sheepishly at him as he just managed to frown at you. 

"Are you suicidal? Masochist?" He asked. 

You grinned even more, making him roll his eyes. 

"No seriously John. I know where she keeps her… 'product'. The people she kidnaps are kept in an abandoned warehouse in the docks, in the desert part of the city. During the day they aren't unable to 'ship' them. We go there, we free everyone, maybe call the cops. She's gonna get away with it obviously… BUT! We'll ruin her business and she'll be too angry to even think properly on how to act, and then, we'll hit her." 

John seemed to ponder the idea. You kept looking at him hoping he'd agree. It wouldn't be fun to do it on your own. 

"How are you expecting to even enter the warehouse?" He asked once more. 

The devilish grin that spread on your lips made John wondee if he wouldn't regret the idea. And to be honest.  You knew he'd regret it. 

----

Walking out of the room once more, your gaze caught John's as you spun around, making your red skirt flow around you and show maybe a bit much. You were living for the shock on John's face as you put up a show for him, but quickly regretted it when he rose from the couch to walk to you. 

"No." He spoke immediately. 

"Excuse me?" You asked. 

"We're not doing it." He spoke again walking away. 

The plan was simple, you'd use the fact that you were like a ghost to everyone to enter the warehouse without being recognized, act like one of the prisoners while John enters in the back. After the signal, all that was left to do, was to kill all of Luana's men and call the cops. You might have to use a bit of your charms to keep them busy while john enters, but nothing you weren't used to. You had even dressed accordingly, a red skirt, a white shirt, some thigh high socks and some heeled boots. You had obviously a small knife hidden in your boot.

"You mean you're not coming? Cuz I'm doing it Wick." You spoke, pretending to head to the door. 

You felt a powerful grip on your wrist that made you spin around. Falling face to face with an angry baba yaga, you shivered of delight. 

"I won't be there to help you. Do you understand?" His tone was threatening and it made your heart pound loudly. However, as it is common with you, you always had something to throw back. 

"What makes you think I need your help Mister Wick?" You whispered to him, leaning as close as possible without touching him. 

Staring at each other for a few seconds, you suddenly had lost your voice, losing yourself in his deep brown eyes. You were glad he didn't throw another piece of dialogue your way because you didn't think you'd be able to fight back this time. He simply stepped back and walked away to the door. You felt highly dissatisfied and almost pained, but you shrugged away the feeling, running behind him to exit the room. 

----

Hiding behind a shipping container, you listened to the sound of guards speaking. John had changed of behavior, he was focused, his shoulders were more tensed and he was much more aware of everything. You were enjoying this. Even if you were in a dangerous situation, overall, working with John and being able to witness how he hunts, was… fascinating. You smirked as you watched him take a better view of the surroundings. As he grabbed the gun he had kept on his waist you swallowed dry. He was handsome and he looked dangerous. 

"Are you ready?" 

His low voice made you fall back into reality. You nodded, watching him walk away, as you, walked in the opposite direction. You disheveled your hair a bit, as you walked, and ripped a bit of your shirt off. You couldn't look that pretty after all. You had to play the perfect little victim. Now all was left to do was being caught. They'd think you were one of the girls that tried to escape and they'll bring you back to the warehouse. 

You pretended to hide, very badly, around the shipping containers, and soon enough your little plan worked. 

"Oi!" 

Turning around, you faked the perfect scared look you could pull off and ran, but not too fast, the opposite direction. You quickly got caught by another dude, as you let out a yelp and a piercing scream. After all, you had to pretend  not wanting to be caught. You quickly got surrounded, grabbed and lifted up into someone's shoulder. Looking around, you almost wanted to grin when you saw they were taking the direction to the warehouse. But again, that's not what a scared pretty girl does. So you started to cry, letting your mascara run a bit. You closed your eyes listening to the sound of metals doors being opened, the sound clearly echoing through the open space of the warehouse. A few steps in that echoed again, and you were thrown to the floor harshly. Well that'd leave a few bruises. You groaned but managed to sit up. Looking around your eyes fell into much more frightened ones, and for a second you wanted to throw up. 'poor girls'.

It didn't take long before they pulled at your arms to tie them behind your back. You wanted to grin again but you stayed stoic. After a rough push to bring you back to the ground, you mentally noticed the stupidity of the men surrounding you. What, they found you running outside and they didn't tie your legs? Well that would be easier for you. Pretending to look around desperately, letting out a sob for good measure, you tried to catch a glimpse of your… partner? A flash of black above made your heart jump. 

John. 

Damn he looked hot in that black suit, his hair plastered back. You unfortunately had to take your eyes off the handsome figure. Now was time for the real act to start. You had to keep the three men in front of you as busy as possible until John got rid of the others, all the while keeping the girls next to you as safe as possible. 

"P-please…" you let out, faking a heavy accent, again, for good measure. "I'll do anything…" you added, curling up, enough for your chest to stick out a bit. 

Putting up an innocent look, you knew you'd won as soon as they grinned. That grin, was disgusting. You knew it too well, but you've learnt to be unfazed by it, and moreover, to make sure to erase it. 

"Anything?" One of them asked, kneeling down. 

You nodded innocently, a frightened look still plastered on your face. You shivered feeling one of his hands run up your leg. You had to pretend to look even more scared. Making you realize how fucked up your mind actually was. You'd been tempting targets for so long, you couldn't feel fear out of it anymore. You had to pretend it. Brushing off that moment of pondering on your own fucked up mind, you threw back your attention to the three men in front of you. The hand that roamed over you passing over your chest, you let out a yelp that honestly sounded a bit too much like a moan, earning yourself the full attention of the guards. 

Looking up behind them, letting your eyes fall into John's ones, you gasped at the sight. You had perhaps rarely seen such anger into someone's eyes. And the gunshot that echoed through the entire warehouse made you jump. There was no signal. He had just moved on with the plan. That asshole! 

You groaned, forgetting all about your act, taking opportunity of the distraction to headbut the man on top of you, breaking his nose and making him fall back. Jumping on your heels your arched your back, reaching for your boot with your hands tied up. The cold metal of your knife made your confidence rise. You quickly pulled it out as more gunshots ran through the warehouse, mixed with the screams of the scared girls. You quickly cut the ties that bound you. You threw another kick at the man in front of you, in the nose again, before letting yourself fall back into your back, your legs rising up, and pushing yourself up with your arms and the balance of your legs in one move, falling right back into your heels, like a cute little cat. Grinning at the two men… two ? John had apparently already shot one of them, you decided to throw your knife at the one standing a bit further away from you. It reached his throat and you watched him fall down before putting back your attention to the man in front of you. 

But before being even able to do anything, the man got shot in the head. You gasped, looking up at John. He truly looked furious but honestly you were even more. You were no princess needing a knight in white armor. You glared at him, kneeling down to quickly grab the knife the man had. Turning around you quickly saw another dude trying to reach for one of the prisoners. Throwing the knife once more you killed your target as the knife planted itself into his temple. You were angry now. Walking to the body, you pulled out the knife, and scanned the room quickly to find another target. There weren't many left. Actually, John just shot the two last ones. You groaned to yourself once more. This had been the most boring job you've been to. 

You sighed, the silence filling your ears. Well silence, wasn't the best word, the girls were still crying. You looked at them, throwing them a warm smile as you tried to sush them. Some seemed to understand the situation and tried to calm others. You smiled, grabbing the phone of one of the guards. Typing a phone number of a 'friend' who worked in the police you texted the address and the situation to them, without signing of letting any evidence of who it was. Letting the phone fall to the ground you smashed it with your heel. Kneeling down next to one of the girl who seemed to be having a panic attack you tried to calm her down. 

The sound of shoes made you look to your left. John stood there in all his glory. He seemed less tensed but just as angry. You glared at him, rising to your feet, your knife still in hand. It took a few seconds before you threw your knife, making John duck down, the knife hitting the man that stood behind him. John looked even more furious now, but you made sure to show the exact same emotion to him. Walking past him without saying a word, you rearranged your hair. The sound of your heels echoing through the warehouse contrasting with the distant sirens. John followed you but kept a certain distance. You felt the need to run back to the continental, shove yourself into the bed and not move for the rest of the day. 

----

The trip back to the hotel was entirely cold. No words were spoken, no glance exchanged. The air was tensed, even in the elevator. It felt like you could hear the ticking sound of the bomb that was going to explode. It didn't even take that long. As soon as you both walked into the suite, and the door slammed shut behind you, you snapped. 

"Ok John. What's wrong with you?" You asked, folding your arms on your chest. 

"I beg your pardon?" He let out, in a low, threatening tone. 

It made you regret to even ask. He stepped closer to you, reaching you.  

"It's Mister Wick for you." You frowned. "I'm going to go ask for another room." He finished, walking to the door. 

You gasped, not fully understanding the situation. Running to him, you grabbed his wrist. You didn't fully understand his actions or yours, but you didn't wanted him to leave. You decided to act on it now and think about the consequences of it later. 

"John, what's wrong?" You asked. 

Turning to you, frowning, the look he sent you made your heart drop. 

"I'm not your toy. I won't let you play me too." His tone was cold, making you let go of his wrist. 

"I'm not playing you John." You frowned, speaking coldly as well. 

"No? What was that last night? You're so good at pretending after all.  With guards or with me." 

The words reached you, and you felt truly hurt. You suddenly realized your own feelings on this. Perhaps have you grown attached to him… no. It was sure. You've grown attached to him. You haven't been playing him one second, you couldn't have been, he was the one who had your heart the entire time. And you'd let him. Unaware. You seemed to look for your words, making John speak again. 

"After all, you truly are the best at what you do, it's easy when you're a cold hearted bitch." John mumbled. 

Looking up at him in slight shock, you felt your eyes burn. The tears were getting your vision blurry as you stared into John's eyes. His expression seemed to soften for a second, but you spun around, not wanting to look at him. You didn't think it would matter what he thought of you, but you didn't remember last time you felt this hurt. This wasn't you, you weren't the damsel in distress. You weren't waiting for your prince. You didn't fall in love so stupidly...

"(y/n)..." 

"I'm sorry Mister Wick." You interrupted him, coldly, turning back around to look at him. The tears gone from your eyes, a cold expression forming on your face. If you couldn't show him how awful he made you feel, you'd pretend. You were good at it. "If you expected me to cry for you, you must have me mistaken for someone else." You added, walking past him. "Think what you want of me." You reached for the door knob and glanced back one last time, unable to hide your pain this time. "I shouldn't have helped you John." 

And on that final saddening note you walked out, the image of John's regretful expression on your mind, melting with your own sadness. The day was however not anywhere near its end.

---

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Hope I didn't forget anyone...