#idk man. like i DO have hopes and dreams contrary to popular belief

[jackalhadrurusluvr]

things may suck but at least there are faggots

[gloryblooded]

with a gif of achilles/austin being a major mood ( i mean, who doesn’t want to nap all the time ? ), i hope to catch your attention & say HELLO !   i’m hanna, i’m 22, and i use she/her pronouns! i’m a hufflepuff, a libra, and ISFJ ( what a shocking combo, i know ). anyway, over here i’ll be playing everyone’s favorite disaster hero, achilles, and his new mortal self, austin pelham. i’m so excited for this group and getting to write & plot with all of you. 

anyway, below the cut you’ll find some info about both achilles and austin ! it got kinda lengthy ( especially achilles’ part ) + it’s messily written. sdfsfdsdhsfbh im truly sry about that & pls still love us.

ACHILLES.

disclaimer: i’ve utilized several sources to form my portrayal of achilles, namely the iliad and the song of achilles. i have not read the pjo books, but i googled achilles’ role in it & i’ll incorporate that to my characterization to the best of my abilities.

so, achilles. a son of peleus, a king, and thetis, a nereid. boy was destined for greatness long before he was even conceived; great enough that the gods chose to dilute it by giving thetis to a mortal man. despite this, his destiny was to still become the greatest warrior of his generation. thetis, wanting to further protect him, dipped him in the river styx and boom, the powers of almost complete invulnerability ( except that one heel ) were achilles’. 

his childhood was actually quite lonely? sure, he had peleus’ orphan boys to keep him company & plenty of admirers, but there was always a certain distance between them, especially he had separate, private lessons. that is until a certain awkward young prince arrived in peleus’ court. achilles was instantly smitten ( a shoutout to that time when he became that ‘g2g chicken’ meme after their first kiss ) and this feeling just became stronger through the years as they studied under chiron’s tutelage at mount pelion. 

AND THAT’S IT. NOTHING HAPPENED AFTER THAT. ACHILLES GOT HIS HAPPY ENDING.

just kidding. unfortunately :sob emoji:

tHEN PARIS HAD TO DO HIS THING AND RUIN ACHILLES’ HAPPINESS ( thanks a lot dude ). the war started and, despite the ordeal with thetis where achilles was yeeted to lycodemes’ court & ended up knocking up deidamia, he was off to fight in the trojan war ( with his emotional support philtatos right by his side ).

during his years there, he does his thing. he fights, kills more trojans and their allies than anyone else, is a great leader to his men, and spends his free time with his boyfriend. also i wanted to add that he was not as hostile toward briseis as he was in tsoa. like, ofc they weren’t as close as patrochilles or pat and bri, but he wasn’t as jealous as implied in tsoa. 

anyway, now we’re getting closer to that period of time. stuff goes fairly normally, but then aging meninist ( idk how to spell his name & im too lazy to look it up, but u know who i mean ) decides to dishonor him by unlawfully taking briseis from him. and oh boy, do we get to see achilles’ non-chill side. victim-playing & stubborn spite game is strong af. someone tries to reason with him? he becomes that ‘i suddenly can’t read i don’t know’ gif. 

anyway, shit turns bad enough that he eventually, although reluctantly, consents to patroclus donning his armor and leading the myrmidons out there. that obvs ends super badly and achilles, true to himself, reacts even worse. he goes ballistic and even fights a river before he finally gets what he wants --- hector dead. after that, he stops caring. he fights, sure, but every single time he wishes his death would come. death eludes him for a while after that, and when it finally arrives & that arrow lodges itself in his heel, achilles vc: finally some good fucking food.

except sike, not ! his bitchass of a son delays the reunion he’s been yearning for. achilles curses him & 100% disowns him because he dared to disrespect his final wish. bUT EVENTUALLY HIS PERSON ARRIVED AND ACHILLES WAS SO !!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE ALL WAS FINALLY GOOD. achilles got a good dose of positive character development bc he realizes the error of his ways when he was alive, but most importantly, he never had to part with his one true love.

until the gods got themselves into another mess & dragged other, innocent people with them. smh ( uncle sam and/or the gods better square up when achilles regains his memories bc how dare they interrupt his lovely afterlife with pat!!!! )

AUSTIN.

so, enter the man achilles thinks he now is: austin pelham. his full name is austin alexander pelham-niarchos, but for the sake of simplicity, he goes by austin pelham most days. he is the only child of us army general & greek heiress to a shipping empire. not really a happy marriage, but they wouldn’t divorce either. both adored austin, though, so the boy didn’t pay too much attention to his parents’ marital struggles.

austin’s future was laid out from a young age too. he was to follow in his father’s footsteps and become an army official as well, possibly one of the greatest this nation had ever seen. considering his natural athleticism and gift for commanding crowds, it seemed a feasible future path & austin himself accepted it without complaining.

however, he was a mere kid when all this was told to him, so he couldn’t be too bothered. sure, he excelled in school ( his mother insisted he should only attend the best institutions ), but mostly he enjoyed the perks that came with having been born to a lap of such luxury. 

contrary to popular belief, austin had basically no true friends; sycophants and other admirers, yes, but no one he truly bonded with. he wouldn’t have minded finding such person, but they never came along & that was fine with austin. he was independent enough to “survive alone.”

so years have gone by, manhattan’s boy king has graduated from harvard with a degree in history, and it’s time for him to join the army, right? sike, no ! austin’s mother had never been particularly enthusiastic about the idea of her son joining the army & possibly getting killed in action, but this is the first time she has a major argument with her husband about it. 

before he could do anything about it, she made her move. she used her connections to get him his movie role and manipulated austin by telling him that if he were to abandon his military plans & pursue a career as an actor, he could achieve more fame than he had ever dreamed of. austin, being a trusting person, had no reason to believe otherwise, so he accepted his mother’s offer and began working as an actor.

and what a rise to stardom it was. after his role, he got more and more offers, most of which were action / war films. austin did not mind being known as an action star; those were his favorite type of movies to film anyway. recently he finished filming what is supposed to be next spring’s ( & year’s ) biggest blockbuster and now relocated back to new york city where he plans to stay for a few months at least.

personality wise, i’d say he is most similar to pre-trojan war achilles ( when he’s at mt. pelion & lycodemes’ court ). he still has that certain brand of innocence to him and fairly easy to manipulate if you know where to strike. however, he has earned a reputation of being somewhat challenging to work with ( he knows what he wants / how he wants something done & isn’t afraid to demand this respect ). this hasn’t tamed the constant flow of work offers, though, because a) he has a way with the crowd, so fans love him, b) money is guaranteed due to his large crowd of followers, and c) he always gets the job done when he sets his mind to it. slightly more prone to making bad decisions, since he doesn’t have his impulse control person. austin is often up for a good time, though, and an evening with him won’t be a boring one.

AND THAT’S ABOUT IT, I THINK ! I DON’T YET HAVE A CONNECTIONS PAGE UP, BUT I’LL START WORKING ON IT ASAP. IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, FEEL FREE TO MSG ME BECAUSE I’M UP FOR P MUCH WHATEVER. I’LL DO MY BEST TO COME UP WITH IDEAS MYSELF & MSG YOU LOVELY PEOPLE! ugh im so excited for this group!!

[yngprafit1532]

🤔Well it’s been awhile So here’s a stream of consciousness, 🤯I Recently moved into my own apartment 🏠and honestly I thought It would bring about an uptake in the romantic department🖤 but Contrary to popular belief this may not be the best time to be a bachelor in America 🇺🇸 , well let me specify “Black America” ✊🏿you see let the loud majority of the minorities tell it and the dating pool is tainted, the guy wit the 10 foot long strainer and Chlorine strips stopped showing up, a kid peed in it and there’s what you hope is a snickers 💩 doing the backstroke in the deep end🤦🏿‍♂️ I say that to say I’m not under that belief, I hold out hope that there’s a women out there for me🤷🏿‍♂️there’s a women who will appreciate me for more than just being a cool guy, a women that won’t settle for an attractive dog and the idea the hopes of that dog finally being tamed one day, now no I’m not perfect I definitely have flaws, most times I lack empathy, I’m overly honest at times to the point of slightly being insulting and condescending, I’m stubborn and I don’t believe it’s because im a Taurus ♉️ and it’s quite obvious it’s because ima Taurus 🤣, I’m delusional at times when it come to my sex appeal but I ignore a lot of flirting 🙄so it’s kinda confusing, I always think I’m right and most times I am but sometimes I miss the fun of things just because I have to prove I’m right, I have a god complex that I’m constantly battling with and I will do the bare minimum if a women allows me to and I don’t actually see a future I think most men have this flaw because we are creatures of habit and some women are too but I think it’s more attached to how women dedicate and cover themselves in the life of their partner, women will hold on to a relationship because they don’t want the time to be waste, they want to see the dream turn to reality but a lot of shit these days is a nightmare, alot of men disguise their true colors, alot of women accept the disguise and then they wake up to monster, destroying the trust they built the loyalty they built, I know my dream girl is getting cheated on And This Is Not A Rumor Or Something I Think I know for a fact the women I wished I could have is being cheated on and it’s fucked up because I know I would just be so happy to know I got the women I want since she said Hi to me all those years ago, she was nice always smelled like cocoa butter full disclosure I had my first pussy eating fantasy sitting across from her in class🤦🏿‍♂️ not to mention there was this day when I was working at Taco Bell Whew🥵 this Women popped up like I’m talking I hadn’t seen her in person in years and its like the sun perfectly illuminated her face 🌞I swear my heart is jumping now thinking about it she had on a white shawl(I learned the word just so I could describe the outfit years ago🤣) those lil cute sandals with the straps that wrap a lil around the calf, a black crop top dress that perfectly showed just enough of her beautiful thighs which today are still amazing 😩 man, like fr. It was like one those movie scenes the door opened I go to say “Thanks for Coming to Taco Bell what can I get you today?”Look up and she’s slow motion walking towards me perfect fluffy lightskin girl fro bouncing and blowing in the wind, smile from ear to ear, face of an angel😇 body make you sin😈, Personality make you wanna wife 💍 but I digress, She says “Hey Tino remember me from Ypsi High I was a lil tomboy back then” and here I go hoping she can’t see me planning our future through my eyes🙃” Yeah of course how could I forget you?” I think all the time I wonder if she remembers that? was I crazy for thinking I should have shot my shot🤔 that’s always one idk about just because since then the interactions seemed to be headed in the romantic direction but my timidness led to a poaching if you will I show a nigga her pic a week later he tells me he may found his wife like we wasn’t just talking about 3-4 other women he was juggling when I showed him her picture saying” she called me on Valentine’s Day that’s something right”?

Welp who knows apparently I wrote too much so ima just pause this until I wanna reveal more truths about my failures at love...It’s the Life

[sayanythingshawn]

Herein lies my note of suicide, lol jk I tried to be serious and formal with it but that just isn't me and for whoever is gonna read this, if anyone ever reads this, I want them to get a semblance of who I really am. Idk if this is me marking my suicide or what because who knows if I'll even actually go through with it. I could be bluffing honestly I mean committing suicide is not easy AT ALL. In movies and shit it's done with such ease, some tormented character sees no purpose in living anymore and uses a conventional method of offing themselves. Or someone has to be the "noble" martyr and offer their life in exchange for countless innocents, it's all very technical. But when I think about it, do I really WANT to die? I've had a few moments where I COULD have died and I am terrified thinking of it. For example, looking both ways before crossing the street. I mean if I truly wanted to kill myself I could easily just walk across the street all the time without looking and increase my chances of being hit by a car. I COULD, but I DON'T. Little shit like that makes me wonder if I truly have given up all will to live. But then again it's any humans natural response to avoid death in situations like that so who the fuck knows. I've researched different ways to kill myself, shooting myself is out of the question considering I have no real access to a handgun anyway and there's a chance that if I don't do it correctly (and knowing me I wouldn't) I'll end up brain fucked. Hanging myself seems like a hassle, I'd probably break the rope and supports anyway. Drowning myself is also a no because I hate any type of water that is shared publicly and I'd instinctively try to save myself. Blowing myself up? no. Burning myself alive? Fuck no (even thought I'm most likely going to hell anyway so I'd need some practice right?). It's all just so complicated, I've given the higher power many chances to just do away with me, I've begged and pleaded with whoever controls our deaths to grant me mine yet here I am, wonder what that means. I have hopes and dreams, contrary to popular belief. I want to be an actor/singer/music producer/director/mom/wife/so much more sappy shit. Yes I have a heart and would like to bear at least 4 kids one day. That's one of the things that keeps me going, the fact that maybe one day I could achieve all of that and leave all of my personal demons behind. But there's a part of me that deems this impossible, I should just say sayonara and end my sufferring. I bet you're wondering, "So why do you wanna kill yourself?" That, is a question I'm not sure how to answer but let me just say this, it seems like the only solution. Some background to my...uh...just read and try to understand why. My parents divorced when I was really young, I don't even remember it for the most part. I just remember living a super privileged life in a Embassy-paid house with Embassy parties, courtesy of my mom, and a whole shit load of child support coming in from my dad. My mom is a complicated topic for me. I lived with her my whole life up until I was 11 and only visited my dad on weekends. The best way I can describe our relationship, is that she was there but she wasn't THERE. If that makes sense. I was essentially raised by live-in nannies that she brought from my country. She disciplined me and stuff but I could never rely on her emotionally and I often think I was more of a chore for her if anything. I have a half-sister from her too, she probably hates me because I don't call. My mom took her when she left so there's that. My mom would always fill my head with dreams of us going to Malawi together and living happily ever after, only for her to leave with my sister and never look back. She's been gone for almost 5 years I think and there's still a really empty part of me that I'm afraid no amount of sex, drugs, or anything else can fill. She doesn't call much and our relationship is strained. The best way I can describe that empty part of me is like a really deep, dark abyss filled with the unknown. Nothing can fill it up, nothing can keep it lit for long befor fizzling out. It has left both physical and irreperable mental scars for me. I don't think my mom knows how much her absence/abandonment has had an effect on me but if this letter is any proof, it's clearly done a whole shit load of damage. Anyway, she's still my mother. Half of me basically so I naturally have some love for her. I do love you mom but you've fucked me up. My Dad is a phenomenal man. He's sick right now wih high blood pressure problems and I don't do much to help him get better. In fact I cause him a lot of stress, sadly. My Dad is the one person who has not all the way given up on me, I'm eternally grateful to him for that. I don't know what else to say about him except that I love him very dearly and I can only hope his next kid turns out a gazillion times better than I did. Dad, you're amazing. I don't know anyone as selfless as you, peace and blessings man. Now I'm sure you're wondering what else could have driven me to want to end my life. Remember how I said I have this empty part of me? That's partially because of the abandonment. I'm tired of being abandoned, it makes me feel worthless. So of course, there was a boy I cared about very deeply, maybe even loved who knows. To make an extremely long story short, I told him I was scared of being left again, he said he would not leave, and what do you know! he left. Boohoo. I was devastated but couldn't leave the toxic vat of waste that was our "relationship". The sex was cool, the memories were kinda cool, but I was feeding off of false hope and sweet nothings, and that is enough to fuck up even the kindest person. I think my favorite memory with him was when he came to my house once and I tried to teach him how to dance in my living room. He had no rhythm whatsoever but he did it anyway, happily. I'd like to believe that at one point he cared for me but I'll never truly know. If you're reading this, thanks for being my first and showing me what love ISN'T. Stop giving up so easily, be more appreciative, and for gods sake stop being an ass to everyone. Next up: My friends. I have a remarkable group of friends who have taught me so much. You are all beautiful human beings, I wish only the best for each and every one of you. Thank you for thinking of me as amazing, thank you for putting up with my dramatics and my annoyingness, and so much more. Thank you for being there when I thought I had no one in my corner. I love you all so deeply. I feel as though my death would be a relief to anyone affiliated with me. I weight off of their shoulders. Suicide is selfish but in this case I may be helping you all. I don't know. I don't know what else to write right now, and I'm actually pretty tired. I guess all I can say is, if this does end up being a suicide note, the song O Children by Nick Cave needs to be played at my funeral along with my TB playlis on spotify and the most banging plate of mac & cheese needs to be buried with me I'd actually prefer to be cremated and have my ashes spread on the mac and cheese and dumped into the ocean or somewhere equally sappy. If this is a suicide note, don't mourn me but relish the fact that I am probably happier wherever I am. If this is a suicide note, I'd like this note to be available to the general public as a lesson of sorts. What it's gonna teach, I have no fucking idea. But I do hope it teaches something. quae fiunt in tenebris, ut in palam veniat. Peace & Blessings kids.