#idk man sometimes i really do feel like a burden and invisible at the same time and so so inexplicably alone
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so. when do i stop being sad lol
#talking tag;#i feel like by raising me to believe that i was great and i was his my father killed me from the inside#this is nothing new to me just.#he put too much of everything in my chest and raised my expectations of the world to where they shouldn't go ever#and he placed himself in the centre of my chest and grew and grew and made me great because i was with him#but it didn't make me feel big it just made me a lonely girl that grew up to be a pathetically sad young woman#because i ripped him out and now there's just void there#there's a hole in my chest too big to ever be filled with anything- it won't be and it shouldn't be#and it makes me feel like no love will ever be enough#i'm just greedy and lonely and sad and hoping for things that won't ever happen#idk man sometimes i really do feel like a burden and invisible at the same time and so so inexplicably alone#i want to be held. just once i want to be chased after#known completely and loved for it#alas. it's just. yeah
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