#idk man navigating adult relationships/friendships is somehow way harder
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Update: they replied and no idea where I’m at now lmao
Sent reply now to panik for the rest of the day 🙃
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#genuinely not really sure what effect that had tbh#we did not talk about anything they just apologized for making me anxious#bc i said i was anxious bc i didnt know why they asked#but then also it was very...generic???? idk man#they said they were just checking since they hadnt heard from me in a while which iguess makes sense?#idk if it makes sense but the original message had a really serious tone so i was wondering what tf they knew#bc obviously as anyone who keeps up with this blog which i doubt is many ppl but still lmao#ive obviously not been well and from wht my therapist says seem to be alternating between hypomanic and hella depressed#like ive done several forms of relapse but ive also been wayyyy more talkative and doing a fuck ton of small random productive things#idk man its weird everything is still incredibly awful#and sometimes it feels surreal and almost like not real too idk man its weird#like i guess technically i could be a lot worse rn#but the main things i have a lot more things going for me and like good people and things piled up#vs before when i was doing horrible i had a lot less to lose#so theres a lot more pressure to be more functional bc i dont want to lose all the progress ive made#or all the things and people ive gathered like my newer friends that im just barely starting to grow our relationships more#which tbh thats stressful bc idk anything about that or the appropriate milestones or anything#like with dnd girl messaging me if im ok i have no idea if i was supposed to reply with total honest and like go into whats been going on#or if i was supposed to just be like im fine dw etc#or how many memes are appropriate to send to dnd guy where its fun but not annoying#or how much/when im supposed to message dnd boy dnd girl dnd guy and dnd lady#like with dnd boy we mostly talk about animal crossing or art but only occasionally#and i feel like i mostly annoy them and talk too much anyway + they seem super busy#and dnd lady usually initiates after dnd so idk whens appropriate outside of dnd#idk man navigating adult relationships/friendships is somehow way harder#im already bad at friendships i didnt get a true best friend until like 8th grade and even that was a mess#and like with adult ones it feels like a lot more pressure to be right and go about things the right way and know stuff
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