#idk like . it's so annoying . i feel like i have to prove something to myseld . or something i guess . idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yutadori · 2 days

Text

it's so annoying that if i Do choose to give up, i'll feel so so guilty about it. for some reason somethingggg in my brain feels like i have to go through with a job even if it means being absolutely miserable . like . people can try things out and then decide it's not for them . it's normal . and yet

#why can't my brain be normal hello.........#oh mein gott also she said that she would read through my essay and make edits and talk me through it and tell me how can improve #and she framed it in a very nice and reasonable way but because i'm not capable of being normal i have such a hard time with taking #criticism even if it's constructive because my brain equates criticism to being wrong and being a bad and awful person #WHICH IS NOT HOW IT WORKS #and it's something i've been trying to work on for a while and it's definitely better than before but godddd #it's NOT SERIOUSSSS ITS WRITINGGGG ITS NOT INDICATIVE OF MY CHARACTER HELL O ????#god .#also this had me thinking about my second to last job and how it made me so crazy anxious and miserable to the point that i had nightmares #about it super often even when i stayed home for two weeks because my brother was sick with covid . like i even had nightmares when #i DIDNT have to worry about working . and i was sooo hard on myself and pushed myself to see it through and i shamed myself so bad #and i was so so relieved when they let me go right after and the nightmares stopped immediately LMAOOOOO #idk like . it's so annoying . i feel like i have to prove something to myseld . or something i guess . idk #ss

0 notes