#idk just my 2 cents on the matter rn

[garden-of-mancers]

Being a middle regressor is so weird. Like? Age 11-15 is a weird era in and of itself because you still play pretend with friends, but you can't take theme parks and mascots seriously anymore. You're still into some "kid stuff" (dress up games and Disney movies), but you're actively repulsed by anything babyish or baby-related (making the majority of the agere tag very much Not The Vibe). You're allowed to watch a rated R movie with parent's approval and play *some* violent videogames, but you're still not allowed to read every Shakespeare play because some of them have "mature themes." You don't really NEED a caretaker to do things for you as much as you need someone to listen to you talk about roblox and supervise you *just in case* you set something on fire.

It took forever for me to even realize I WAS regressing. Like, I knew I was regressing, but I just wasn't "baby" enough, so it didn't make sense. How could I feel both like a child but have an active interest in not-exactly-kid-friendly things like Skyrim and anime?

The answer is I was in teen/preteen mode.

It's not that age 11 is the death of all things immature; once you get to be an adult, you can more confidently navigate themed roleplay experiences "in character," and your repulsion for baby-related stuff kinda falls away too. It's just that when you're 14, you don't know how to be both Mature and Not Embarrassing, so you kind of give up on a lot of things.

[blossom-hwa]

Could I request . . . best friend!chan + boys' night out, some platonic banter and wholesome drunk escapades?

Okay ngl Javi I have never gotten drunk or anything so like.... I’m so sorry I don’t know how to write this smdkgshg but I wanted to write platonic banter and I started this like texting series in my last drabble game so.... I kinda continued it here but with a reader too?? I hope that’s okay I’m so sorry kjfskdjhguh

(Read the original text aus here: danceracha | 3racha | vocalracha | the boyz | both groups aka a nightmare)

Stray Kids drabble game: send me a Stray Kids member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

~

Title: Cafe Shenanigans 2: Electric Boogaloo

Pairing: none (all platonic), reader is gender neutral

Word count: 1.3k

Triggers: cursing

~

quick clarification:

better than tony: chan

chingban: changbin

gremlin: jisung

y/n/wow: y/n

~

better than tony: we have a new worker joining today please for the love of god do Not scare them off

better than tony has added y/n to the group chat!

y/n: chan why is this your nickname

chingban: and why did you talk about a new worker all serious n shit we literally know y/n

gremlin: probably better than we know chan tbh

y/n: what’s my favorite color

chingban: ...

gremlin: ...

y/n: that’s what I thought

better than tony: I'm regretting everything rn 

chingban: ???? nothing has happened ????????

better than tony: something is going to happen I know it is

better than tony: it’s only a matter of time

y/n: chan you still haven’t answered my question

y/n: why is this your nickname

better than tony: I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you

gremlin: I'm gonna do it

chingban: I'm torn between wanting to cease existence

chingban: and wanting to see chan melt into the ground out of embarrassment

better than tony: I swear to fucking god you assholes IF YOU DO IT

gremlin: [ sent 1 audio attachment wow.mp3 ]

y/n: oh my what’s this ??

better than tony: y/n go to work

y/n: I'm taking my break now <3

better than tony: I'm revoking best friend privileges

y/n: that’s fine I can make two whole other best friends right here 

gremlin: :D

chingban: :D

better than tony: I knew this was a mistake

y/n: I think my twenty minute break is long enough to listen to a three minute song! 

y/n: bye whores

better than tony: jisung say your prayers

gremlin: I'm willing to take one for the team

gremlin: it was only a matter of time before they found out anyway

chingban: you can’t argue with that

better than tony: I’D STILL RATHER KEEP IT UNDER FUCKING WRAPS

gremlin: are those choking noises from the back

better than tony: this was a mistake this was a mistake this was a fucking mistake

chingban: dw I'll go check on them

chingban: make sure y/n isn’t dead on their first day on the job

better than tony: I honestly hope they choke

chingban: update all is well

better than tony: damn

gremlin: that?? is??? your???? best????? friend??????

better than tony: not anymore

better than tony: anyone who knows about wow must be put to death

chingban: so our entire friend group should be put to death?????

better than tony: are you arguing with that

gremlin: you know what I can’t argue

gremlin: I'm surprised the fbi hasn’t shot us down yet

y/n has changed their name to wow!

better than tony: ok you know what fuck you

wow: what the fuck are you doing to get the fbi to shoot you down

gremlin: IT’S ALIVE

better than tony: unfortunately

wow: it ??????????????????????????????????

chingban: idk about them but I've never done anything that merits being shot down yb the fbi

gremlin: wow is an offense punishable by death

chingban: I agree it’s an offense but death ???????

better than tony: stop texting and go back to work I'm tired of you all

wow: I'm still on my break

better than tony: everyone except y/n stop texting and go back to work

chingban: the favoritism is real

better than tony: y/n is my best friend suck it up

gremlin: I thought you disowned them from that position ???

better than tony: unfortunately they’re still more tolerable than you two combined

wow: I'm still reeling over being called ‘it’

wow: bitch ass han jisung you think I'm Frankenstein’s monster or some shit? or the clown from that movie???

gremlin: do you want me to answer that question

wow: say your prayers

chingban: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

better than tony: I regret everything

~

wow: hey I didn’t know hyunjin/minho/Felix worked at the build a bear at this mall

chingban: literally where have you been

chingban: they’ve been there for at least six months

gremlin: why is only felix’s name capitalized

wow: 1. bitch do you think I come to the mall to go to build a bear?

wow: 2. autocorrect

wow: wow jisung your autocorrect is shit if it isn’t capitalizing Felix

gremlin: what do you come to the mall for

gremlin: also what of it

wow: to bother chan

wow: and mooch off the wifi because the connection at home is shit

wow: oh and work now ig

better than tony: nice to see your priorities

wow: <3

wow: actually jisung. don’t tell me you fucking actually go back and make Felix uncapitalized 

gremlin: caught

gremlin: and wait till they find out where seungmin/jeongin work at 

chingban: what the fuck why wouldn’t you just let autocorrect do its shit

better than tony: he’s jisung do you really need another reason

chingban: fair enough

gremlin: fair enough

wow: also I've known where the fuck seungmin/jeongin work I used to work at the tutoring center too dumbasses

better than tony: isn’t the pay better there? I still don’t know why you quit

wow: if you mean better by like fifty cents then yeah

gremlin: I-

chingban: I thought tutoring would pay a lot more than working at a shitty cafe???????????????????????????????

wow: yeah that’s what I thought too

wow: and then I found out how much chan was getting paid and I was like what the fuck I'd have so much fun working here even with slightly lower pay 

wow: so I quit

gremlin: respect

wow: wasn’t a hard decision

wow: the kids are horrible

better than tony: I thought you liked some of them

wow: “some” is the key word

chingban: ouch

wow: at least I get to fuck around here without getting in too much trouble

better than tony: isn’t sangyeon chill??

wow: Ella isn’t

gremlin: oh I've heard horror stories from seungin

wow: they’re all true

wow: honestly wish you’d burned down the tutoring center when you set fire to the refrigerator jisung

better than tony: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

chingban: more like who DOESN’T know about that

wow: seungmin sent me pics

better than tony: betrayed by my own children

wow: he’s more my child than yours and you know it

chingban: does that mean y/n and chan are our parents????

wow: no

better than tony: no

gremlin: oh my god I have more parents now !!!!!

wow: suddenly I feel Regret

better than tony: welcome to my world

gremlin: I'll set fire to the refrigerator again if you don’t say you’re my parents

better than tony: isn't this how you bribed Jacob into giving you hugs instead of giving me hugs

wow: Jacob?

chingban: other worker along with chanhee they’re on vacation for the week

wow: o

better than tony: also please don't set fire to the refrigerator

better than tony: or even try to

gremlin: have my conditions been met

wow: fucking gremlin bitch ass child

wow: fine I'm one of your parents

gremlin: 1/2

better than tony: fine

gremlin: 2/2 :D

wow: let the record say I only ever wanted seungmin and jeongin

wow: and Felix

gremlin: ouch

chingban: ouch

wow: you force me to be your parent you suffer the consequences

better than tony: Felix is MY SON

wow: SO YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU FUCKERS ARE AUSTRALIAN YOU HAVE AN AUTOMATIC BOND? SUCK MY DICK CHAN

better than tony: I’LL FIGHT YOU

wow: SQUARE UP OLD MAN

chingban: jisung did you predict this

gremlin: in reality no but for the clout yes

chingban: ...

gremlin: I am Agent of Chaos(TM)

chingban: that I can see

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat!! I was just wondering if there’s any advice you would give to a high school freshman/rising sophomore?? sorry I know I’m a bit young to be interacting on your blog but I’m just,,, so lost.

my freshman year ends on May 28 and I just realised how fast this year flew by, and I’m never even gonna get it back…

I didn’t get off my ass and run for an officer position in the clubs I’m in even though the opportunity presented itself many times and I can’t stop beating myself up over it (metaphorically that is)

the only thing unique I did this year was run for student council and um that didn’t work out too well HSDMGFK no surprise there

but on a more serious note I just don’t really have the motivation to do anything right now and this is gonna sound really funny but it’s giving me such a hard time even though it’s self imposed ://

I don’t know why I can’t find motivation to be involved at school

maybe I would be more active if I knew what I want to major in or be in the future?? I used to want to be a biochem major but then I realised I wouldn’t be happy with that lifestyle or salary and now I really wanna major in business but I also feel pressured to major in econs because my dad is an econs major and my brother will be entering college as an econs major this fall so like ;;;;

thankfully my family wasn’t as affected as other families or people during lockdown because I fortunately live in Singapore and the lockdown was a bit less than two months, and the situation here was taken care of quite well. some of my relatives live in Seoul and I also have some relatives emigrated to Washington DC way before the pandemic so I was a bit worried but they seem to be doing fine!! which is again why I don’t understand my slump

because I was in a slump I had shitty grades and ended semester one with such a shitty GPA and such terrible grades that I literally didn’t qualify for APUSH next year which idk if I wanna take or not but still, it would’ve been nice to have the option…. and I literally got a b in biology which is so fucking terrifying because if I had done worse I wouldn’t have even qualified to take AP bio or chem

I mean I am putting effort but not enough for me to get better grades than I do right now so I genuinely feel so lost :// I’ve no idea what to do after high school and my grades aren’t good no matter how hard I try :// like, I’m not even kidding I have tutors for my hardest classes but I’m still not;;; getting good grades…

I honestly feel the urge to start cultivating hobbies that I stopped doing but idk if i should.. like I could spend that time studying, you know?? I’m scared that the rest of my high school career will fly by just like my freshman year did and I won’t even notice it… and my finals are literally in 2 weeks….

and as I’m typing this I realise I have a Chinese test tomorrow and another Chinese test next Tuesday so ummm I gotta go study sorry about all that rambling!! I just don’t have anyone else to tell sorry if this burdened you!!

miss cat if you have any advice to offer I would really really appreciate it!! also I’ve sent like 2 other tells rambling about your fics and idk what to feel rn cuz a few weeks ago I was crying about p*ssy blocked on your blog and now I’m sitting here pouring my heart out:;; but anyways thank you for reading!!❤️

- 🥰

hi, sweetpea 💕 oh gosh, it’s been... almost 8 years since i was a rising sophomore asjhdflkasflkhsakl i feel so old rip and it’s ok, you don’t have to apologize! my blog is sfw, so it’s alright, lovebug :’) i’m gonna give my two cents / advice in regards to each part of your message, instead of my usual numbering, so i hope that’s ok! 💓

i’m sorry to hear that this past school year has been tough for you, honey bee, and that you’re having a hard time ): i know what you mean with motivation... some days, i just don’t wanna try anymore and it’s just like... what’s the point? i worked this hard and didn’t get the results i wanted, so why am i still doing this? it’s disappointing, i know, but i suppose the thing that pushes me forward is that, well, it has to get better at some point, doesn’t it? if i keep going, if i keep pushing myself, if i keep trying, my efforts will be rewarded one day. one day, it’ll all be worth it, honey bee 💛

and while you regret not running for a club position this year and how your freshman year went, make sure to not regret it next year and go for it during your sophomore year, lovebug!! run for a position!!! you’re still so young, and you have so much time ahead of you, sweetpea. enjoy the moment, spend time with your friends, join more clubs that interest you, etc. you got this 🥳 please don’t end up regretting next year as well - become more involved next year and run for an officer position like you wanted to this year 💘  i believe in you, lovebug 🌷🌷

and running for student council was a big step! you should be proud of yourself for trying and putting yourself out there, honey bee 💗 even though it didn’t work out in the way you hoped, you gained experience, and that’s important too!

also, heck yeah for majoring in business, sweetpea 🤩🤩 as a double business major, i support you :’) askljdhfkals ngl econs was my least favorite business class though, so big props to your dad and brother for majoring in it 🤧 i felt that pressure too because my dad and sister both majored in engineering, but in the end of the day, you have to remember that this is your future and your happiness, not anybody else’s. choose what you want to do, honey bee. this isn’t your dad’s choice nor your brother’s choice, it’s your choice. they’re not the one that’s gonna have to study all your classes and do your job in the future. it’s you, and i know it’s hard, but you have to block out what everyone else says and choose what’s best for you. 

if you aren’t sure what you want to study, is it possible to take classes for different majors? perhaps, that’ll help you decide! or you can talk to upperclassmen who are in the majors that interest you, and you can see which one appeals to you the most 💕

i’m so glad to hear that the situation there for you is going well though, lovebug! 💛 and i’m happy that your family and relatives are doing well too 💞 sometimes, slumps just happen, honey bee unfortunately ): it’s like i don’t want to feel this way, i’m in a decent place in my life, but why do i feel this way? it has to do with mental health, and my best advice would be to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. they truly are really helpful and can help you understand better why you feel this way and help you reach a better state of mind.

i’m sorry to hear your grades didn’t end up as what you expected, lovebug ): (and as someone who took apush, it is not fun rip i do not recommend aksjhdflkas you dodged a bullet there) but as a positive way of looking at it, what class can you now take instead of apush? is there another class that you’re excited to take? and a B is still good!!! forget the what if scenario, you still made it to AP bio and AP chem, and that’s what matters, and i’m proud of you, honey bee 💖

 personally, i think there’s a healthy balance between cultivating hobbies you like and studying. i don’t think you would want to look back on your sophomore year and have all your memories be of you sitting at your desk and memorizing ionic bonds and plant cell organelles. yes, it’s important to study, but it is also important to have fun and have hobbies that help you destress and relax and make good memories 💗so i’d say go for it, lovebug!!! indulge in your hobbies and find something you love doing! maybe that’ll inspire you to find a major in a similar subject?

best of luck on your upcoming chinese test, honey bee, and i hope your last one on tuesday went well 💜 aaaa i kinda put my advice here and there throughout my response, and i hope it all makes sense for you, sweetpea :’)  also omg alksjdhlfakshjdf thank you so much for sending in asks about pussy blocked and for reading it, too 🥺💗💗💗 that means so soo much to me, so thank you, lovebug 💛  i hope life treats you kinder, and that you’re doing better this week! i’m sending you all my love, support, and well wishes, honey bee 💌💌 (also that’s such a cute emoji anon !!! 🥰🥰)

[youjustwaitsunshine]

Ok I’m really confused here. Can you explain what about Valtteri’a helmet had to do with all lives matter? Also why on earth is he ‘Making people hetrophobic?’ Not a Valtteri fan just genuinely confused.

Naah ok first im drunk rn so sorry for spelling (and any) errors but the design on the back os like three shades of white skin people, one brown and one dark skin hand joined and being like "stronger together" and his gf designed it and yeah it jsut feels like he couldve just put blacklivesmatter and it would have more impact than stronger togethwr which is more like...nah

and for the heterophobic stuff it's like, mostly about him taking tiffany into the paddock while the reporters were made to stay outside and she isn't doing shit there and none of the others did that (ok their relationship is pretty fresh bur still) and just some insta stories tgat were a bit....too much info idk i mostly ignore him im just there and yeah again im not very sober atm but that's my 2 cents on that i dont hate him or anything but he had some negative attention in the last weeks (also that he didn't say a thing about blm even though his teammate is black) and he didn't do anything to like,, make it right or anything

anyway this is just my opinion and yeah ok i hope i answered it ok again not sober rn

[mae-i-scribble]

but is it like that? for me the ending of the epilogues is too open, maybe is missed something — i myself am only at 300-400 chapters (idk exactly where) but i read all the spoilers and i also read the very last bit of the epilogue. maybe if i actually had the full pic i would feel any better but rn everything is still very tragic and with not enough hope for a clear-cut good ending. this actually makes me scared to read next because i am Not going to handle it well lmao

@stu314d

I would have responded via comment but I have a feeling im gonna get a bit wordy so bear with me.

But to me the epilogues of orv are exactly as I said. While in a vaccuum its a textbook open ending, because we never see kdj awaken, we’re just told that he could be awakening, in the larger context of the novel its way more than that. And yeah I absolutely do think that the ending needs that buildup for it to hit the way it does for me- spoken as someone who also had full epilogue spoilers going into reading orv all the way. It didn’t matter how much I knew, by the time i got to the ending, to the epilogues, things were gut punching me just as hard in all the right ways. But more than that, thematically the epilogues final chapter is a summation of everything orv was built on. Orv is a story about one reader. And the story written for that one reader. At its core it is a story about readers. About the power readers have. The love readers have. The intersection of readers and stories and audiences  and a million other themes. So when orv gets to the point where han sooyoung says that we as a reader, must imagine a world where kdj wakes up if that is the ending we wish to see, it isn’t just the author backing out of giving us a happy ending for real. It’s orv’s themes being turned away from the characters and back at us, the readers reading this story about readers. It’s saying ‘look, just as kdj’s love for WoS fueled the creation of a universe you have just as much power with this story here and now to make the world you wish to see.” Looking us right in the face and giving us the freedom to imagine what happens next.

(Although beyond that, the text itself all but says kdj is waking up. The star stream returns to their planet, when it had almost completely faded. All of kdj’s stories begin their storytelling. Like, cmon man he’s awake we all know it they just gotta pull their thematically relevant bs)

But no, orv most definitely does not have a cookie cutter happy ending. Which I’m perfectly fine with and am more than happy with. I never needed that sort of ending from it- it just needed one with hope. Which is what the epilogues deliver on when the ending does not. Beyond that final segment and the surety I have that kdj does return so much of the epilogues is about healing, about the very long road to recovery everyone has and their very first steps on it as they learn what it is to move forward, about yjh finally coming to peace with his purpose and finding the resolve as to how he should live on. These character have been hurt, they are still hurting and grieving in unimaginable ways, but there is always tomorrow, there is always the next step, there is always the day when they will be able to look ahead at the future without the past dragging them back. And in this story rife with tragedy and love and suffering and joys isn’t that the best ending we can ask for? With absolution, it will get better. You will make it past this.

Anyways those are just my 2 cents on it, ive met people who dislike the endings for much the same reason you fear, they think they’re too sad, that it just perpetuates the cycle kdj was trapped in. There are some people who see the epilogues as more tragic and enjoy them because of it. But I think that if you’re really afraid of reaching the ending because it seems like a tragedy, at its core, I don’t think orv is trying to be a tragedy. It is tragic, and it is heart wrenching, I can’t promise you won’t sob, but it is also a story filled with so much love that even in its darkest moments it shines through. Also, I have a couple longer posts about the healing shown in the epilogues here and one on why i think orv’s ending past those final words is bound to be a happy one here if you’re interested in seeing more of my rambles on the subject. (that second one has some pretty major plot spoilers for the latter half of the novel so don’t read if you don’t want those)

orv ending spoilers below

To me, orv is a fundamentally different novel with and without the epilogues. Without the epilogues you have none of the same thematic beats- it just ends with kdj on the train, preparing to start dreaming knowing he left a fraction of himself behind. There's no hope, no solace, only the tragedy and loneliness knowing he will never be able to return. Honestly, if i had been reading orv before the epilogues were out i would have been fucking pissed at the ending- you cant just have a character be so devoid of happiness for so long, commit so many sacrifices for the sake of his loved ones, and then just never give him or his companions resolution. To me its not satisfying, its tragic ending for the sake of tragedy. Not that I think kdj becoming od in itself is a bad point for those reasons- it only becomes so to me when the epilogues are out of the picture. Because for as painful as the epilogues are, they undeniably end on a hopeful and uplifting note. No longer is kdj doomed to an eternity, but instead has every chance to get his happy ending alongside everyone.

[i-hate-wheatley]

Hey I hate a question? I haven't been in the portal fandom for a while and I used to ship chelley, but i don't know what's so wrong with it? Could you explain so I understand?

yeah it's not tht i have a problem with people shipping it but there are a LOT of chelley shippers (most of them) who shove it in people's faces along with blue sky. it's not necessarily the ship itself but the way it's been portrayed and romanticised (i.e. the art of wheatley after he'd beaten up chell and chell lying there in a daze with blood all over her being tagged as ship art, many instances of literal rape fics and art, etc.)but the big problem i really have with it is that neither of them really seem to like each other?? wheatley doesn't show any romantic interest in chell at all. even before taking over the facility, he slanders her to her face a lot and only somewhat cares about getting her out alive. afterwards is a whole new shittier story where he holds her captive against her will and forces her to test for him by those means.and then there's the fact that wheatley legitimately 100% tried to kill chell multiple times, even trying to get her to commit suicide (most notably by lying to get her to jump in the pit and by outright telling her "just kill yourself" on the conveyor belt soon before his boss battle.then there's the fact that chell doesn't really like him either?? she's likely supposed to see him as valve expects the players to see him, as an "amiable idiot," and then hate him after he turns on you but still feel a sense of that tiny loser kind-of-friend in there.i've found that a lot of times when people ship chelley it's a self-insert matter. people will play the game as chell and therefore somewhat see themselves as her, which is easy since she's the silent protagonist. however, chell's a character all by herself. she's got her own personality, which is very sarcastic and stubborn as shown in her potato battery project as well as some of her actions ingame.and chell and wheatley have an odd in-game dynamic that i won't do a full analysis on due to time-based restrictions rn but it's definitely not something that's portrayed as a romantic relationship.this isn't rly well written or elaborated on since it's 7am and i have like 10 minutes to actually type this, but here's my 2 cents on the matter. if u have anymore questions u can ask but i have one last thing: i'm not gonna shit on anyone for shipping chelley unless they're people who romanticise abuse or rape or see blue sky as the Ultimate Fanfiction Lord and all other portal fics are insufficient compared to it and it's apparently canon because they say so or?? idk just any other really shitty thing.

[stripper-boots]

Answer like... all of the questions

Shit dude ok.1. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it?

I was a sad and edgy pre-teen, man.

2. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second?Seeing as the most intimate thing I’ve done in the past 9 months was a limp, yet well meaning, handshake, I would. I didn’t plan for it, I don’t know why, and it’s gotta go. It would be hard though. Not because I want kids, just because I know it would be.

3. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free?I sleep in my car now why would I ever pay for a hotel for the night.

4. Is there a color shirt you’d NEVER wear?Neon colors look awful on me.

5. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it?Yes.

6. What is your favorite video game console? Why?PS, just for the nostalgia.

7. Do you like vanilla candles?Vanilla is my favorite scent.

8. Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon?I mean it wasn’t going great, but kinda?

9. Would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde?Idc honestly. My hair grows like a weed it doesn’t matter.

10. What are your plans for tomorrow?

If I feel better go to school, if not die I guess.

11. What did you have for breakfast?I didn’t I have like 3 cents to my name.

12. Have you had sex in 2013 yet?

2013 was the last time I had sex.

13. Who last slept in your bed besides you?So like I don’t know that I’ve ever had someone sleep in my bed? I usually go to other peoples places, people don’t come to me.

14. What time did you wake up today?8PM (I work nights)

15. How long until your next birthday?Uhhh 11ish months?

16. What was the last movie you watched?Fuck dude I think Wonder Woman?

17. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose?PVRIS.

18. When did you last consume something that had peanut butter?Yesterday I got forced to go to a family party I had something there I think.

19. What’s the last song you heard?

Jar of Hearts -Christina Perri

20. When you say you love someone, do you mean it?

There has been two times where I haven’t; To my mom, and to one of my friends ex’s because it was convenient 

21. Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?

It depends on how I feel when I wake up for school.

22. Do you still talk to any of your ex’s?

No.

23. As of this minute, what is going through your mind?

“Don’t throw up dude. Don’t.”

24. Where’s the last place you went?

Work.

25. Have you held hands with anyone lately?

No.

26. Has anyone let you down recently?

Yeah.

27. Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?

I don’t know that people try to make me jealous. I’m not worth that lol.

28. Whats the next movie you want to see in theaters?

The Emoji Movie, duh. (Fr idk what’s even out rn)

29. Do you have more than $50 in your room?

No lol.

30. Are both of your blood parents still in your life?

I barely have one in my life and I’m pretty sure he’s sick of my bs, how could I be expected to keep two around lol.

31. Were you tired when you woke up this morning?

Is it possible to not feel tired when you wake up?

32. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Everybody tbh, especially the people at work bc I left early again.

33. When was the last time you went apple picking?

I’ve never gone.

34. Do you sometimes wake up in the morning, lay in bed and think about life?

When I have time, which is never.

35. Are you happy summer is coming soon?

I’m glad those bugs can go back to where they fucking belong: Their graves.

36. Do you have drama in your life?

My friends tell me I’m “Shaped like a friend”, so everyone comes and tells me their problems. This ranges from people close to me, to people in the drive thru when I’m just trying to get my Taco Bell and the lady tells me that she wishes her mom would say she’s proud of her. So basically yeah, but idk how much is mine.

[luckylagerlegacy]

Lil Uzi Vert “Luv Is Rage 2″ Album Commentary

I’m excited that this Album is here… But at the same time it makes me a little bit sad that the twitter jokes about it never being released will cease now. I think I put the first Luv Is Rage mixtape as my rap album of the year in 2015, which makes it hard for me to know what to expect from this one. It’ll either be a classic, or an audio version of whatever Lil Uzi’s hair is doing right this very moment. Let’s not waste anymore time here, and instead just shoulder roll our way into Luv Is Rage 2:

1) Two:

Calling the first track on your album “Two” is a piss off, Uzi… But this song’s beat got the trademark accordion over it and I am instantly lulled into being okay by it. This track leads off right where Luv Is Rage ended,which is fire.. Sure, now he’s rapping about fame being poisonous and money being evil BUT shit slaps stupid hard and I can suspend my concern for his personal well being for at least as long as this song lasts.

3.5/5

2) 444+222:

EITHER SLOW DOWN WITH YOUR DIRECTIONS OR DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, MR UZI VERT. I’m also not doing math so your probably clever song title is completely lost on my dumb ass!!!!! This song has me voguing into a broken mirror while thinking about all the girls who have ever wronged me. I’m flash dancing in my back yard, nae naeing at the thought of my own death. This is a total stripper joint, but don’t be surprised if some of them dancers recognize the sadness in Lil Uzi’s voice and shake their titties wild mournfully and make all of the perverts watching reflect on their own shit.

4/5

3) Sauce It Up:

Coincidentally, this song title is exactly what I tell the drive thru dicks at Wendy’s when they ask me which one (1) sauce I want with my six (6) orders of the dollar menu  Five (5) piece nugget. This song is sort of about nothing, but it has the cutest fucking line lmao check it out: “I WAS ON THE PHONE, YEAH WITH PLAYBOI CARTI - COMMES DES GARCON, HEARTS ALL ON MY CARDI” lol that’s silly as hell I love it, who the hell calls a cardigan a cardi? Tegan And Sara fans do. I do. This is the first song on the tape that hasn’t made me want to call a distress hotline on Lil Uzi’s behalf.

3.5/5

4) No Sleep Leak:

This song stupid as fuck but in a good way. I just woke my dog up dancing to this song. That’s a real thing that happened. He raps about recouping all of his wealth in the span of a single night which is tight, but I often do the same. I can go from like .34 cents in my bank account to uhhh like a few hundred when it’s payday. It’s not that impressive, Uzi.

3.5

5) The Way Life Goes:

My girl is at her Aunt’s house in Maryland this week (holler at me if ur tryna rob her house while she’s gone just hmu she has an xbox) and I’m actually glad now, cus you have got to be missing somebody to truly grasp whatever the fuck Lil Uzi Vert is going through right now. Who the hell hurt you Lil Uzi Vert? Your hair dresser? Reese La Flare when you ripped his whole existence off and added KPOP to it?? Who the fuck did this to you lil guy??? Lmao this song goes hard as hell though I’m pouring out a tear for my guys rn over it. This one is hilarious to me tho cus he samples an “Oh Wonder” song, and it’s adorable to me that Lil Uzi Vert knows about some fabulist ass pop duo like the rest of us sad schmucks do.

4.5/5

6) For Real:

I’m assembling an interracial squad of dance teens to perform funny looking dance moves to this song while I stand behind the camera and jerk it side to side (not like that) whenever they do the dab. This song is the most stripped down, “normal” on the project I guess. It’s cool, but I like my Lil Uzi Vert to be manic and sad and weird. NEEEEEEEEXT

3/5

7) Feelings Mutual:

Oh wow we’re diving back into the sad drug stuff pretty abruptly here. Hold the fuck on I’m gonna google “Who Did This To Lil Uzi Vert??” gimme a second. Okay, nothing came up… But damn we gotta get this guy some mood stabilizers and a workout routine so he can start to turn that frown upside down. Nobody getting double toppy from models and driving ferraris should be sad. Even if he is like, five foot minus five. Nobody who’s friends with The Migos should cry, ever! They have their own chips! This song is very good though. Again, his sad shit is really effective so even tho he’s crying for help I’m gonna pretend he’s asking me to ignore his situation and dance instead!

4/5

8) Neon Guts (Feat Pharrell Williams):

Two things: I misspell Pharrell’s name every single time I type it, and whoooo shit Pharrrlel can make a goddamn track, even now that he’s more of a spiritual guide to XXL’s freshman classes than a hit maker. He took his gigantic cowboy hat off and donned the BDBC fitted for this one. This is gonna be the biggest song off this whole album, mark my words. Shit slaps dummy hard.

5/5

9) Early 20 Rager:

Oh hey, Lil Uzi named this song the same thing as my friend’s name their Birthday events on Facebook! Hopefully this song doesn’t make me get dressed up and go to 3 bars I don’t like. He says “FUCK YO GIRL ON CAM, GOPRO” which is hilarious. I want my POV porn to have an extreme sports edge to it now. I wanna see Mia Malkova giving head while jumping out of an airplane ASAP.

3.5/5

10) UnFazed (Feat. The Weeknd):

Dog I fucking hate the weekday. I -oh wow this shit slaps nvm I’m wrong.. Still tho if I catch you out here with XO gear on I am throwing it high up into an unscalable tree. One with mad prickles. He does say “Take three Xannies like a hattrick” on this which is super fucking lame and ultra Canadian of him. I know I said that the Pharalel track would be the biggest song on this album, but every white girl I know who does blow loves The Weeknd so this track is gonna go quadruple platinum.

4/5

11. Pretty Mami:

��              This song boring as fuck! Maybe Lil Uzi not liking rapping anymore… Isn’t a good thing? I thought disenfranchisement meant bangers that would make me wipe tears away in secrecy at the club… But maybe, instead it means a lack of bangers?????????????????????????? Fuck man… I hate whoever made this man so sad.

2.5/5

12) How To Talk:

THIS BITCH! This song starts with the audio of some woman calling Lil Uzi Vert out for some shit that uhhh I’m not paying attention to. Somebody on 4chan analyze this woman’s vocality n stuff so we know who to speak to about making this guy sad. This song slaps tho, he’s all apologetic about treating her badly and jealous that she’s talking to a ball player. The beat is rad as hell. This is the mood I think of when I think of Lil Uzi’s music. More of this, less Pretty Mami.

4/5

13) X:

Metro Boomin and Pierre Bourne co-producing a Lil Uzi Vert track? I’m in clout heaven. Somebody fetch me a pair of those dumbass glasses that every future dead kid wears while they nod out on xanax. You know the ones? The Fallout 4 fancy lady joints. Thanks. Okay this song is golden and I will defend it no matter what the hell happens with the next two tracks. I’m doin all of Uzi’s dances as best I can to this, eating gummy bears, feelin cute.

5/5

14) Malfunction:

               In the first verse on this dreamy lil song Uzi says “ALL MY GIRLS DRESS LIKE THEY WORK AT HOOTERS” like it’s a good thing. If I’m worth millions of dollars, my many, many girlfriends would all be dressed in differently themed designer garb: One goth model with diamond encrusted tears, one pioneer thot with a golden pitchfork, a pair of ghost women wearing spooky Red Bottoms, etc. Let’s have some showmanship, please. This song is good though, the last ¼ of this album is picking it up.

4/5

15) Dark Queen:

Dark Queen is my favourite race in World Of Warcraft, so I’m stoked on this. The song is all about his relationship with his mother, and how it relates with his relationship with the music business instead of sick raids and fuckin uhhhhhhhh killin monsters? Idk I never played WoW I was too busy playing other videogames u fuckin dorks.

3.5/5

16) XO TOUR LIF3:

               *Crying* SHE SAID BABY I AM NOT AFRAID TO - *still crying* DIE! I forgot this song was on the album. Wow, what a fuckin banger. I want whoever reads this to make sure the lyrics to this song are etched into my gravestone (if I somehow don’t end up buried in an unmarked grave by a jilted lover and her new, tougher boyfriend) Ugh this goes so fuckin hard. This is one of the only songs that, if you have it as your ringtone and it goes off really loudly while we’re sitting next to each other on the C-Train, won’t earn you a dirty look and a subtweet. I want to celebrate the sadness in this song. You did it, Lil Uzi.

5/5

 FINAL SCORE: 7.8/10

This shit had some up and down moments, I’m not gonna lie. But, the good outweighed the bad. I hope Uzi finds the help he needs before his hair gets any more neon than it already is. We believe in you, lil fella.

[smoke-covered-ribcages]

Here’s some of that list

So I’m doing a lot of research rn bc I believe I fall somewhere on the autism spectrum. The problem and I guess also a reason I’m struggling is, I’m also diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety and my friends,family, and even therapist suspect ADHD even though that’s not officially diagnosed . I’m also HoH and wear hearing aids. I’m 22 and AFAB (though I am non-binary). So I know all of these things together can have the same symptoms as autism. And that being AFAB it’s already harder to diagnose. But I’ve made a chart and compared all the symptoms to each diagnose to try and see how many overlap and how many or individual to that diagnose and still coming to the conclusion that I have all of the above. Part of me is concerned that I’m just seeing stuff where there isn’t any or trying to make things fit my narrative or that maybe I’m just trying to be “uwu special” without even realizing it. Or that at least that what others will think when I bring it up.

I’m sorry this is already so long but here’s some of the list I’ve complied.

1. Repetitive behavior- I have certain tasks or motions I do often for difffent reasons. Mostly when overwhelmed or stressed. Little stims like tapping something, or bouncing my leg, or rolling my shoulders. Usually once I get into a routine, I continue a certain act for how ever long that routine lasts even if it doesn’t really do anything.

2. Exaggerated emotional response- I’ve always been told I’m over emotional. Or that I feel things too strongly. It’s more evident when I’m happy or angry. When I’m sad it’s like I shut down and hide instead. If I’m under a lot of stress or feeling a lot of anxiety or sadness or I’m not sleeping well etc, I’ll often go into little bouts of mutism. Not on purpose and often I don’t want too, I’ll try to make noises and words and nothing will come out. No matter how hard I try. Sometimes these last a few minutes, the longest was almost two months.

3. Social difficulties- I’ve always struggled socially, but we always just thought I was shy or it was anxiety. I’m a little better now, having worked hard, but inside I’m usually having a terrible time. I have something almost like a script that I follow each time I’m talking to someone new. I’ve also gotten into the habit of just being silly or funny bc that usually makes people like me. Then once I’m comfortable enough with people, which usually takes a few weeks at least, then I seem to be a little more myself. But a lot of people say that autistic people struggle with social cues or facial expressions, I don’t usually. I’m actually good at noticing those. I often don’t know when it’s my turn to talk or when to shut up, or interrupt people, but that’s one of the reasons we think I have ADHD. I get an idea of what I want to say and I can’t hold it in. Or if the topics change I usually try to get it to go back to what it was before so I can put in my two cents. Idk if that’s related I autism or not. But even to this day people have to help me. It’s mostly my mom lol.

4. Exceptional verbal skills- when I do talk I HABE a habit of sounded older or smarter than I sometimes am. I was reading and writing at a younger age than normal. If I’m at a place like a bbq or a family gathering, I’m often around older people instead of those my age or younger. As I can have conversations geared toward what I like. I’m often told that I surprise adults, from when I was little to this day, at how I talk and the words I use and how I explain myself. This is both in requests to my hearing impairment if they know about that, and bc especially when I was younger I’d talk well above what was expected.

5. Clumsiness/poor coordination/difficulty using gross motor skills- need I say more? But I also have some physical disabilities that effect my body enough to effect my walking and my hand eye coordination so it’s hard to tell if it’s all because of that or a combination of both those things and autism.

6. Obsession- my friends and family always joked and where sometimes worried for how obsessed I would get with things. Certain things, that I’d hyperfixate on and know everything about and my whole life would revolve around that one thing. A lot of these things are usually in the same ball part, a lot are usually fandoms of some kind, the tv show BONES, or Supernatural, both the show and the topic, criminal minds, again both the show and the topic. To the point where my family would actually be concerned and my friends would get annoyed.

7. Talks excessively/have one sided conversations- I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been called annoying. That people would avoid me bc I’d talk their ear off on a certain topic. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to work on it and try to take the comedic and more story telling approach to try and make it more enjoyable for everyone, but sometimes when I get into it, I often just end up info dumping, or all my surroundings go away and I’m just spewing whatever comes to my head no matter who it is I’m talking too and if they seem to be into the “conversation” or not.

8. Heightened sensitivity and overstimulation- if anything sticky or yucky gets on me, mostly my hands or feet, and can’t think about anything else except for getting it off me. Especially my hands. If anything gets on my hands short of water, it’s like the end of the world. I also seem to have a stronger than usual sense of smell? I can usually smell something no one else can and it’s usually a smell I don’t like and will drive me to leave the area or at least be uncomfortable and annoyed.

9. Difficulty with change or upset with routine- once I make a plan, if someone changes it, it ruins everything. I’m usually in a bad mood, if I able to do anything I won’t be done quietly. I like to have a routine usually, it’ll change from time to time or sometimes it’s not the whole day but a specific time. For example, I’ll get settled on a certain breakfast food, I’ll eat the exact same thing in the exact same place at often the exact same time. Then Once that ends as it usually does after a month at most, I’m left pacing and almost hyperventilating in the kitchen as I try to think of what to eat now. Or I’ll get snappy, or do other things like clenching my fists. Then I’ll find a new food, and the whole cycle starts all over again. When away at school I’d usually sit in the exact same spot and if I got to the cafe and someone else was sitting there I’d either wait for them to move, or I’d sit somewhere else but the whole time I’d feel like my skin is on fire.

10. Poor organizational skills- even though I like routine my organizational skills are shit. Totally garbage. Sometimes I get into a mood and I’ll organize everything it once that mood passes, which is usually a few hours, then everything crumbles again.

Ok guys.

Idk who to talk to about this, I’ve mentioned it once to a friend but I feel like I’m bothering him. So here I am, coming to the internet.

I’m already diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety. As well as some physical health issues.

I’m not sure how to bring it up to my therapist bc I feel like I’m also bothering her. Heh.

But I think i have ADHD, she thought so enough to have me take a test for it, which I failed, but I dont think the test was very accurate honestly. It was only like 5 minutes and it was just about focus, which at times I’m really really good at doing.

So ADHD isn’t officially diagnosed but my family and therapist suspect it on some level.

Now here’s the more scarier one. And I don’t mean that the diagnosis itself is scary, it could be but I don’t find it scary. I’m just scared about bringing it up, that I’m making waves where I shouldn’t. That I’m just over thinking things. Being annoying. Etc.

But I think I might have Aspergers, a mild form. I’m studying psychology and the first thing they say is to not self diagnose and I usually try not too but honestly these two things I keep coming back too.

I’ve tried to do research and made a chart of all the common symptoms and whatnot and marked which ones I have. I honestly think I have both of these things. If I do, that would explain ALOT of my actions and thoughts etc.

I keep coming back to these same Two things and I’m pretty sure I could have them, that even all four of these things often exist together. But at the same time all of these four things have similar symptoms and stuff that’s what makes it hard to properly diagnose but as I said I’ve been trying to do a lot of research and read into it and I’m pretty sure I’m right.

I’m just coming here to ask others who have these things to share their experiences and maybe help me?

Thanks in advance!

I’ll also add to this later the list I’ve compiled.

[bogfaeri]

im confused with the discourse rn about asexuality. why is there so much discussion of labels/terms and whether ace people fit into that? why is there such a long ass discussion about this - aren't these labels/terms doing a little too much harm idk? it's def true that it's inappropriate for people to act as if they've gone through things that they haven't, but seems counterproductive that the community (which is oppressed already) has to infight over this. ps act like im 5, dont wanna be a dick

Hey! so, theres a lot going on and im not reaaaaally like an expert? honestly @official-leo-valdez might be able to give you a more straight forward and confident answer than me, but i’ll do my best.

My opinion tends to be that unless you are trans or experience same gender attraction, you cannot reclaim slurs directed at the LGBT community, this is pretty much the biggest thing for me. I also get very frustrated at the way that the aro/ace community treats non-ace gay people, lesbians especially, and the concept of “allosexual privilege.” While i understand theres a societal stigma around being ace, I don’t think you could say there is a history of systematic oppression. I don’t think a label that is a measure of how you feel attraction should be equated to labels about what gender that attraction is toward? I believe thinking like that could be pretty harmful

I’m really happy that people on the ace/aro spectrum have found a way of talking about their identities that works, i’m happy they have a community, and i understand they face struggles too!!! I just think these are important things to keep in mind.

Anyway those are my rambly 2 cents on the matter! hope this was at least a little helpful! 

~disclaimer, please don’t drag me into discourse over this, i’m not trying to start a fight at all. @official-leo-valdez would probably be more likely to want to argue these points with you!