#idk if this happens to guys i know its a common teen girl experience though

[hiveswap]

I know i said they didnt move anything in me but i have been thinking about gojo and geto and i still can't ship them romantically but they give me the vibes of a codependent teenage friendship that ended so abruptly and traumatically that one of the people involved never managed to fully recover emotionally and still has mixed feelings and issues about it

[bittercoldbrew]

PLEASE tell me about the alien plant girls im so gay for anthropomorphic fem plants

omg thank you SO MUCH for asking and i apologize in advance for the infodump because i have been thinking about these alien plant people for literal years now, i love them so much. I first started thinking about these guys a little after TFA, because of an oc i was working on for a lil star wars fic that i have mostly abandoned by now--so sorry to the like 3 people who were reading my sidon ithano fic but tlj/tros really killed whatever passion i had for the franchise for a good long time :/ but Mando is great so i've been thinking about them'st again...

anyway i am sticking this under a cut because a) im very attached to these characters and if someone steals my shit i will kermit and b) sweet jesus this got so long, i am so sorry

in the SW universe at least, these plant people (that i still for the life of me cannot settle on an actual name for) were the primary inhabitants of a dwarf planet way out in wild space; they had a pretty symbiotic relationship with a race of sentient insectoid people (basically human-sized bees) who could travel between the planet and their home on one of its three moons (affectionately called the Honey Moon). what the plants didn’t know was that the bees were also able to travel to different planets, and had been doing so for a couple centuries before everything went to shit--but we’ll get to that in a bit.

the plant people weren’t particularly interested in the galaxy around them--they had a decent understanding of astronomy and cosmology, but little cultural interest in journeying to the stars. since the planet was pretty small and distant from the galactic core, it was pretty rare that a visiting ship would even pass them by, and scanners didn’t register them as genuine life-forms separate from the natural flora, so even if someone happened to end up out there it’s not the sort of place anyone would really choose to land. on rare occasions, a pirate or smuggler would try to hide out on what they thought to be an unoccupied planet, and would return to the Outer Rim with tales of mobile, sentient trees and bizarre, organic cities found on some uncharted world; likewise, occasionally a plant person would turn up at the local bar with tales of crashed space-ships and strange aliens that seemed almost like people. neither would ever be taken seriously.

the plants aren’t a particularly verbal people. they understand spoken language (a somewhat-modified Basic, at least, which is what the bees speak hmm i wonder where they picked that up from) and many can talk, but most don’t really bother learning to do so. mostly they rely on an ESP-like combo of pheromones and body language, highly attuned to the point that it’s essentially a kind of telepathy. i think i mentioned in the tags on that post that my character Antheia is sorta kinda a jedi? for these people, force sensitivity tends to manifest as an extra-extra-sensory-perception that causes you to be hyperaware of every living thing in your environment, not just the other sentient ones.

this made her uhhh extremely off-putting as a youth, easily distractable and often disinterested in the other people in the small community she grew up in, where she was already pretty disliked to begin with. there’s quite a lot of diversity among the plant people (a wide variety of skin tones/textures and body types, though few if any secondary sex characteristics; four limbs are most common, though occasionally some have two or more sets of arms; different types of leaves/vines/blossoms/etc in lieu of hair), and though they have a barter-based economy there’s still a lot of classism that’s mostly based around lineage (and thus evinced by one’s appearance and the traits one manifests). to protect (or attempt to bolster) those lineages, prospective parents can apply for a spot in a nursery, where their offspring are propagated and tended--mostly just through infancy before going to live with parents, though sometimes longer, and the very high class have private nurseries that will do all the rearing so they don’t have to.

But, on very rare occasions, certain wild plants will spontaneously develop sentience, and even more rarely will survive on their own long enough to find their way to a community. Hundreds of years ago (or “before the bees could speak”, which is their version of “once upon a time”), these spontaneous growths were revered and cherished, and whoever was first to encounter one would see it as a great honor to be responsible for their care and upbringing. now, with a much more striated society, these “weeds” (derogatory) are considered inferior, feral, dangerous. fortunately for Antheia, the man who found her, tangled in marsh reeds under the light of the Honey Moon, didn’t buy into any of that bullshit. he was a really sweet dad, very attentive and doting on his increasingly-strange adopted daughter; they were very close. but the older she got, the more her unusual ability developed, and the more he realized he was well out of his depth to help her understand that part of herself. eventually, she’s sent away to a kind of temple/convent for other people like her, where she’s trained to hone and control her extra senses, rather than be overwhelmed by them.

many years later, the sudden appearance of several large starships in their atmosphere turns their society on its head. it turns out, the bee-people have been traveling to other planets, forging alliances, brokering deals; they claim they just want to facilitate inter-planetary trade. Antheia is among the first to mistrust these invading aliens and their fleet of well-armed droids who seem hell-bent on mining their planet (which is, apparently, rich with cortosis, which--thank you wookiepedia--is apparently capable of repelling lightsabers and blasterfire alike). She flees her convent, joins up with an underground network of resistance fighters, discovers that her hyperawareness makes her a truly formidable force on the battlefield, and helps lead her people in defending the sovereignty of their home. And then things take a turn for the worse...but we don’t need to get into that right now.

ANYWAY.

my other oc, Shoal, is from the same planet but not even remotely star-warsy; either from a different time period well before the droid incursion, or just like an AU of my own stuff, idk. but she’s great, i love her deeply even though i dont really know what i even want to do with her yet. i mostly just was thinking about what a normal, average person in this world would be like, but then i got too attached. she’s also one of the spontaneous “weeds”, a semi-aquatic plant girl that washed up on a sandbar that occasionally connects a small island with the mainland when the tide is out. she was sort of “found” by multiple people at the same time, since they were making their way across to go trade goods at the mainland market, so to avoid the confusion of who should be responsible for her, she’s just sort of raised by the village as a whole. they name her Shoal, since that’s where they found her (it started as a joke, but then no one could agree on anything else to call her so it just sort of...stuck).

she grows up without realizing that it’s a pretty unusual upbringing. as a teen, she gains the reputation for the island’s best fisher (it helps that she can breathe as well underwater as above, and she’s always been a good swimmer). one thing that’s pretty consistent among all the plant people are their teeth--they all have long, sharp incisors and canines because sexy and also as more of a defense mechanism than a dietary one. they don’t eat much, typically absorbing nutrients from the sun/water/air/soil (mud baths are such a beloved experience, like for the most part they are very dignified people but find them some good mud and they will wallow for days) but when they do it’s pretty meat-heavy. they don’t really enjoy the process of eating very much, especially because they don’t have much gut bacteria so they typically have to swallow some stones to break up their food and nobody wants to do all that. but, at least in the coastal towns near where Shoal grew up, fresh-caught fish is considered a delicacy, and they can trade for quite a lot in return.

as she gets older, though, she starts getting restless. she loves her village, but it’s all she’s ever really known. also, it is so hard to even consider dating when literally everyone your age is practically your sibling, i mean, yeesh. so one day she just packs her bags and says her goodbyes and waits for low tide, then sets off to find her own way in the great wide world. she stops wherever she can, sees everything she can, but eventually settles down working at a tavern in a medium-sized town that’s mostly acclaimed for being a crossroads between bigger and better places. she likes it there, likes getting to know lots of new people and hearing about someone else’s travels more than she actually liked traveling herself. after a few years, the tavern-keeper retires and decides to leave the place to her, and she finds she’s become a permanent fixture in this new community. that’s really all i have for her so far, and i have no idea whether i’ll ever actually do anything with this character lol, but still she is very precious to me so i hope i find a story she’d be a good match for sometime soon.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I know what you’re going through; Bucky x teen reader

This particular oneshot came from an imagine from The Fandom Imagine and I may or may not post it to their tumblr page idk. Warnings are murder, descriptive killings, mentions of abuse and rape, MAJOR ANGST but it’ll end in fluffy feels at the end. The imagine is below, hope you guys enjoy ;) 

"Imagine having terrible nightmares of your past as a brainwashed Hydra assassin and Bucky always being there to help calm you down and hold you when you wake up".

Taglist:

@evyiione

_______________________________________________________

My name is (y/n) (l/n). I know it sounds common but most names do if you think about them long enough, maybe even yours. I once lived as a simple little girl on the farm, feeding the chickens, playing with Mr. Goose, and sitting with the horses from sunrise to sunset, yeah it seemed like a normal life at first but it soon all ended.

When the people in black with the red octopus symbol came to our farm one night during dinner and killed my whole family right in front of my eyes and took me away.

All of this happened when I was only just 5 years old.

From then on I lived a life in a small cell with no windows, cold metal walls, an old worn out mattress on the floor for my bed, and an old toilet. I was then trained to become a master assassin alongside HYDRA'S best asset "The Winter Soldier". I made my first kill on the President's secretary when I was only just 7 years old.

I was tortured, brainwashed whenever I tried to fight back or beg to leave, fed only when I completed a mission successfully, and pushed above and beyond my limit during training.

I was practically the living dead and was known in HYDRA as "THE GHOST GIRL" because of my pale complexion due to malnourishment and the fact that I could disappear on the scene faster than anyone could blink due to my nimble legs and fast reflexes.

When I turned 15, my life began to change.

I was located to Siberia, Russia to help some of the remaining secret HYDRA members build their weapons and train with some of their experiments. As I was in training but getting my butt seriously kicked, the base was under attack by some members of the Avengers. As the HYDRA soldiers and guards were busy trying to defend the base, I thought it would finally be an opportune moment to finally escape from this hell and finally feel the sun on my face and the ground between my toes.

I snuck out of the base and just ran as fast and as far as I could when I suddenly came face to face with a member from the Avengers. Weak and exhausted from running, I just fell to my knees breathing weakly as the Avenger wearing a jetpack of some sort on his back wearing red goggles.  I felt him catch me just before I could fall face flat in the snow and I heard him say.

"Cap, I'm heading back to the Helicarrier, I've got a kid and she looks malnourished beyond normality".

Next thing I knew, I woke up in a comfortable bed with needles up in my arm. I whimpered and tried to hurry and get them out thinking the drugs that were entering my body was more serum to make me stronger but a hand reached out for mine and a voice said.

"No, no, no, no leave it shhh, shhh. It's alright, its fluids and medication to counteract the drugs, it's alright". When I looked up I saw the one and only ex-asset from HYDRA, the Winter Soldier. "What's your name honey?" He asked in a softer voice. I just stared at him breathing heavily through my nose when I answered in a hoarse voice.

"(Y/n)".

"Nice to meet you (y/n)".

"Are you taking me back to HYDRA?" the Winter Soldier looked at me with a look of horror but it quickly turned back to gentle and welcoming.

"No, (y/n). We're heading to an Avengers base to get you some help, don't worry, you're safe now". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. For the first time in 10 years, I was finally free of HYDRA. Tears welled up in my eyes, my body began shaking as I tried to hold my sobs in since in HYDRA crying is seen as weakness, and if even one tear fell from my eyes, I would get beaten for showing weakness.

Sensing my inner turmoil to just let go, the Winter Soldier suddenly held me close to his chest.

"It's okay. I know what you're going through, I was scared too. But I'm going to help you, it's alright. You're free now, you're free". Surprised at the Winter Soldier's actions not even realizing that this was the same asset that HYDRA had used to do their bidding for over 50 years and have been tracking him the last year and a half for, was holding me like this comforting me.

But none the less, I finally let the waterworks out and cried as much as I could and not once did the soldier flinch, fake sympathy, or sarcastic remarks, he just held onto me comfortingly and kept whispering soft things into my ear until I had cried myself to sleep.

2 years later after my rescue from HYDRA, I had been given psychological as well as light physical therapy. I spent the first few months in the medical wing with doctors trying to get my health back up, along with being fed the correct foods and given drugs to counteract the ones HYDRA had given me for years, psychiatrists would come in and we would talk for hours on end about my life and what HYDRA had done to me for the past 10 years.

It was very, very, very hard having to repeat to these doctors over and over and over again every single day I went through with those people, hell some of the days were so bad, I would refuse to speak to anyone for weeks *if you want to know what it was that made me stay silent for so long, I'll only just say I'm not a virgin anymore and just leave it at that*. But the worst thing of all wasn't just talking about my past, the worst was at nights I would wake up screaming from the nightmares I would have of my previous HYDRA missions. Seeing myself getting brainwashed to do their bidding, the looks on my victim's faces and hearing their families screaming as soon as they found the bodies.

But you know what? Something good came out of that. With all the nightmares, the therapy, and the reliving of events, there was one person who was always there for me and never once complained nor did it because it was his job.

It was Bucky *after a while I had found out his real name from his friend Steve and the man who had found me, Sam Wilson aka Falcon*.

As said before, he didn't stay close to me because it was his job, he did it because he's gone through all this before.

He was willing to help me out and make sure nothing bad happened to me here in SHIELD because sometimes some SHIELD agents can get crazy and want to do further investigation on some people's powers, or if the psychiatrists tried to make me talk when I didn't want to because I was paralyzed from seeing all my crimes before my eyes, he would be there to tell them to lay off and end the session right there and take me back to my room and bolt the door shut and just hold me close.

Bucky had become like the big brother I had always wanted and even though he was reputed to not even socialize with anyone as much as the other Avengers, he always took the time to always be there for me, day or night. And it was lucky to because tonight I would need him the most.

It was bedtime and I had fallen asleep after writing a few poems in my journal given to me by Steve and just when I thought I could finally sleep peacefully, I had once again fallen into sleep paralysis of seeing my past catch up with me.

I was hiding inside the hall closet of an executive of SHIELD just waiting for him to come home. As I could hear the door open I was shocked to hear the sounds of two young boys laughing and giggling.

"Okay boys, get on up into your rooms, put your pajamas on, brush your teeth and get into bed!" My target's voice said. I soon heard the sounds of the two boys running across the hall and into their rooms getting ready for bed. I waited in silence as my target came into his boy's room, read them a bedtime story, tucked them in and kissed them goodnight. As the lights went off in their room and soon finally in his, I slowly and silently walked across the hall towards my target's room and readied my gun.

I stood over his bed with the gun pointing directly at his sleeping body when the door suddenly bean to open and without question I fired a shot at the person coming in only to see that it was one of his boys. The boy fell down into a pool of blood waking up the father and when he saw me and his son's dead body, he immediately went to attack me but I nimbly flipped over him, taking out some rope from my hip and landing behind him and wrapped the rope around his neck and tied it once tightening it.

"Where are the SHIELD plans?"

"Murderer!" I tightened the ropes on him and sneered.

"I won't ask again!"

"Go—to—hell!" I then took out my wasp knife and plunged it into my victim without a second thought and as soon as it plunged into his back, his inner organs came spilling out along the floor. I walked over the cold corpses of my two victims and headed towards the son's bedroom to be rid of the other son, no use in leaving witnesses alive, plus spare the kid his future suffering. I gently took one of the spare pillows and covered his face with it slowly smothering him, then when the kid began struggling trying to free himself, I put all my weight in my hands to smother the pillow further into his face until he stopped struggling.

With the family dead at last, I began to search through the father's study until I managed to find the flash drive HYDRA needed and successfully got out of the house and vanished into the night.

I was tossing and turning as I screamed, a voice was calling out to me.

"(Y/n), (y/n) wake up!" I suddenly shot up hyperventilating only to see Bucky sitting on my bed with his arms holding my arms soothingly, "it's okay it's okay! You're okay".

"Bucky?"

"Yes (y/n) it's me. You were having another nightmare weren't you?" I lowered my head sadly.

"It was awful, the worst mission I ever had to do, oh God I—"

"Shhhh, shhh, shhh. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I know I've had my shares of nightmares like that". I looked up at him and said.

"Did they ever involve killing innocent children? Children whose lives have barely begun? Innocent souls who never did a thing wrong and are so naïve to the dangers that truly lurk out in this world?! Bucky I kill two innocent boys around the same age I was when I was taken by HYDRA! I shot one of the boys as he was coming when his father was the real target, and then after the father was dealt with I smothered the other son with his pillow!" I gasped in some air and muttered, "I'm a monster Bucky, anyone who would kill children doesn't even deserve to even walk on this Earth anymore. Why are you still doing this for me? We both know deep down I am beyond fixing, I'm broken and there's nothing that can be done to fix me!" It was then I took out my gun from under my pillow and handed it to Bucky and continued, "Might as well just kill me now while you have the chance soldier, you have your mission, now see it".

I waited for Bucky to fulfill his mission that I had given him, one HYDRA soldier to another and we kill without a second thought, but after a long wait in silence, I didn't hear a gun fire. Instead the gun dropped to the floor and I was pulled into a strong chest.

"Don't you ever. Ever. Speak like that again! Do you understand me!? Don't you ever let me or anyone else hear you speak like that again!" Bucky deeply sighed and continued, "look; I know it's hard adjusting to this. You're scared, tired, paranoid beyond belief that everywhere you look these people still see you as what HYDRA made you into. But there is one thing that both SHIELD and HYDRA can never take away. Your heart. You weren't yourself just like I wasn't mine. HYDRA forced us to become like this for their own gains, me when I fell from the train, and you when you were just a little girl barely 5 years old. We both were weak and powerless to stop them at the time, we've allowed them to control us for far too long; but now. Right here, right now is the time to finally stand up and become the better person. It's true our red legers are dripping, soaked skin deep, but there is a chance to finally try to move on and help other people from becoming what we've become, by ending the bastard HYDRA once and for all". Bucky now held my face in his hands and looked at me with soft but determined eyes. My eyes shut and I began to sob softly, Bucky leaned forward and kissed my forehead gingerly then leaned his forehead against mine.

"Do you—do you promise you'll always be there for me?"

"I promise, I won't ever leave you until you tell me so". He smiled softly. Bucky then held me close to his chest and said, "try to go back to sleep (y/n), I'll make sure the nightmares won't come back".

"Thanks Bucky, I've always wanted a brother like you". I said as I started to close my eyes and fall asleep. Bucky smiled as he stroked through my hair and kissed my temple lovingly and whispered.

"And I've wanted a little sister like you baby doll". Bucky then laid down on my bed and held me in his arms for the rest of the night.

Bucky Barnes and I continued to always support each other trying to heal from our HYDRA persona and not only that I got to have a family again with the Avengers and most importantly with Bucky being the big brother I always wanted.

[lymanjosh]

do you have any tips on bringing up ADHD to a therapist? I desperately need help for it but I don’t want my concerns dismissed because stuff like adderall is heavily misused :(

i had like two pages of an answer for this (and it was coherent, even, if you can believe it) and then i refreshed the page like a dumbass so this is take 2, which is Less Coherent and im sorry but theres nothing i can do about it

so im not an authority on the subject or anything, and i don’t know your situation, and also ive been diagnosed for like 2 weeks, so you can pretty much take everything i say with a grain of salt. what im gonna do is im gonna run through my own experience / what i wish i did differently / what im doing now, and i hope it helps, and you can totally feel free to come back if you wanna talk more at all once im finished!! and i really hope that at least something i say here is of help to you

also this is gonna be rambly and im sorry about that but i don’t know any other way to be. im gonna preemptively forgive myself because youre like me so you get it but im sure it’s not easy to read so for that i apologize.

tldr: know concretely why you think you have ADHD and what treatment options you want to pursue, do like 3 times more research than you think you need to do, write down all your symptoms in advance, cite your past history of mental health treatment if you have one, and try not to worry too much. if your therapist is any good at their job they’ll know you’re not just drug-seeking, and they’ll recognize the symptoms and problems you discuss when you bring them up in the context of ADHD. probably you’ll be okay, and you’ll get the treatment you need.

so i spent most of my teen years in a drug-addled haze. i was depressed and anxious because i couldn’t Fucking Do Anything, and my parents were worried so they took me to the doctor, and the doctor was worried so she sent me to another doctor, and this continued for a long time and i was on like 4 different antidepressants and 4 different antipsychotics and also some anti-anxiety meds between the ages of like 15 and 16. it was heavily traumatic and also not fun, and the reason all this happened was that nobody stopped to think that maybe i might share some genes with my dad, who has been diagnosed inattentive since before i was born.

right off the bat i should have been way more up in arms about self-advocating, which is something you’re clearly doing, so that’s awesome and you should give yourself a pat on the back because that’s really difficult in the mental health industry especially when you’re already fighting your own brain on most things. 

hopefully you haven’t been through a wringer of false diagnoses and nonsensical prescriptions, but if you have, then you can guilt your doctor a little bit. “i was traumatized! i was given dangerous psychoactive drugs during a critical phase of neural development! you have to give me stimulants to atone for your sins!” phrase it exactly like that, it’s like a silver bullet. in all seriousness if you ahve past diagnoses of anxiety or depression or anything to do with emotional dysregulation that can help your case, because you can point out that a) these things are common misdiagnoses for adhd, and b) the symptoms for these things logically emerge from things like emotional hyperarousal and rejection-sensitive dysphoria. 

what i should have done, and what i think you should do, is write down your symptoms in advance, because then you won’t have to spend an hour hemming and hawing and trying to thnk of them all in the doctor’s office. i did not do this. it didn’t prove to be a problem because my doctor was kinda irresponsible but i really should have done this, just for my own benefit.

when i actually brought it up to my doctor that i might have adhd i had a couple different things going for me. i was talking to my GP, and not my therapist; im not in therapy (which you can probably tell) because therapists creep me out, but i think physicians are probably more inclined to throw drugs at it than therapists are. my GP was also brand new to my case– i had never even met the guy before. i mentioned my history of mental health treatment, and i also mentioned my dad being diagnosed, and im also a girl (girls are chronically underdiagnosed and extremely likely to be misdiagnosed with either anxiety or depression), so i had some concrete facts to support why i had suspicions. i had also done a shit ton of research beforehand, so i advise you to do that– know concretely why you think you have adhd and what treatment options you want to pursue.

you might benefit from talking about it with your doctor before your therapist, but idk that might just be my fear of therapists talking. i think a doctor is less likely to want to taco bout it than a therapist but that may just be my specific experience– you know your situation better than i do. and admittedly a therapist is more likely to, like, Know You and know what you’re talking about when you say (for example) that you’ve always struggled with emotional dysregulation, or whatever.

something else that might help you– i wish i had done this not because i don’t want to look like a drug-seeker but because i Miss Coffee– is to bring up non-stimulant treatments like strattera (for adults) or kapvay or intuniv (both for children but sometimes prescribed to adults) because it’ll show you’ve done your homework and it might be a point against writing you off. stimulants are usually the first resort for adhd, so it’s highly likely you’ll end up on adderall or another stimulant, but it’s good to bring up as an option. might also be good to research it as a serious course of action, especially if you suffer with anxiety, because stimulants are likely to make you more anxious.

i would also advise you not to fixate on adderall? idk enough about your situation to know if you’ve done that but it’s good to be open to other medications and treatment plans bc if adderall doesn’t work for you it doesn’t work and there’s not a ton you can do about it. you should for sure read up on other treatments– you might find one that sounds more appealing, or at the very least you’ll know what to think if your doctor brings up another one unexpectedly.

so i brought up to my doctor that i might have adhd and he immediately plonked a questionnaire in front of me. i filled it out (spoiler alert most of my answers were “often”) and he was like “oh this is textbook, let’s get you on adderall” which like WHAT. i didn’t even ask about adderall. like im not gonna argue with you but let’s talk about this first before we break out the stimulant medication. but i’ve been on it for a couple days and no major side effects yet so maybe he was right who knows. anyway he was super irresponsible don’t let your doctor just prescribe you meds at random go through the side effects. always ask about the side effects. i get such bad headaches after it wears off. i have one now and its Bad. 

but as an addendum you should for sure be prepared to use other coping mechanisms. i’ve started using a bullet journal since i was diagnosed which i’ve found works really well, and youtube channels like howtoadhd are really helpful to me!! i try to use the meds sparingly because i Don’t Like taking pills and also bc adderall can be habit forming, and because i hope to eventually be able to function without it, and i advise you to think of it the same way. drugs don’t have to be a permanent fixture in your life– you can use it as a temporary tool while you build up the necessary coping mechanisms and mental pathways to function without it. adhd isn’t broken brain, it’s just brain on hard mode, if you know what i mean. i try to think of the meds as training wheels– i learn to function with it, and then i gradually learn to function without it. so idk if that’s a useful way to think about it for you but to me it feels more hopeful than resigning myself to a lifetime on more drugs. idk. 

but even if you’re okay with that, adderall isn’t gonna make you functional (it might. kinda feel like you’re magically functional. that’s how i feel right now, that is to say when im not headaching.) so you have to have systems in place to make it easier for yourself. some kind of productivity app might help ig (i used ike for like 3 days and then my phone died and i forgot to charge it for a week because that happens to me sometimes, but i liked ike!) but i like analog todo lists. feels good checking stuff off. either way is good though. 

also get your phone to send you alerts. also rearrange your stuff. like, make the world around you conducive to your functioning. do your best to create and live in a space that enables you to do the things you need to do. get accommodations at school if you need to (i haven’t done this and can’t tell you how but there are a ton of online tutorials and you can probably just google your school + accessibility, or something, and that’s assuming you even go to school)

but yeah i hope any of that was helpful to you and im sorry to make you do 1 million hours of deciphering my shitty informal writing style and i love you and i want to help you please come back and let me know how everything goes bc im gonna worry about you otherwise