#idk if someone posted the first one on tumblr first or as well but i haven't found it so im linking the tweet for now

[roguevexvoid]

Oh man I've been thinking about this a lot keeping up with the Alterhuman Tumblr Comm. I'm glad the space is there and I try to be active as an older person so people know we are still here even if we don't participate as much as we used to.

But I can only scroll through so many posts obviously made by people under 25 before I start to check put. And of course no disrespect to anyone that young but as said above, I just can't relate to that anymore, I mean I *have* a kid closer to those ages than I am.

I remember, when I first joined Therian and Otherkin forums I was 19 and I felt like a baby compared to so many of the other members around me who were 10, 15, 20+ years older than I was, rarely did I see someone who was still in high-school (and again, I'm glad the community is more visible and the resources readily available for all these kids)

Idk, I just miss having community with alterhumans closer to my age (closer to 40 than 30 these days) but I'm terrible at remembering to participate in discord servers, and honestly don't really like them for actual community stuff because it can be hard to track conversations and info via instant messaging. The Tumblr comes are a but easier that way but the main one is huge and skews so young it's difficult.

There are probably still things I could write about concerning my own identities, it can be hard to find the time and energy for the words, and a lot of it, as Wolfislost said it just *is* I've done most of my figuring out.

Similarly I don't think trying to get a meet up going in my IRL space would work very well for hanging with actual adults and more than likely I'd end up being the oldest there anyways.

Im all down for a 25+ Tumblr comm if anyone wants to make that, I guess it's just a question of how much traffic that would actually attract if so many of us old people are less/inactive.

One thing they don't tell you about being an adult therian is that much of the online community gradually feels more and more alienating. Posts about wearing gear to school or writing about your theriotype at college stop feeling relatable. And it's admittedly hard not to get grumpy about it. Sure, occasionally you see some insights about working a 9 to 5 when you're a dog, or managing your appointments when you're a bird, but most of the short-form writings you come across feel less like the relevant ramblings of your peers, and more like looking through a window at a life you had to leave behind. I don't miss school, good gods, nothing could ever make me wish I was 16 again. But I do miss the relative simplicity of it, and the ease with which I related to other school-age therians.

[beardisable]

so this one post right, which OW...

but also i watched X2 yesterday, this hurts even more with context but also feeds into deadclaws so !??!?

tldr OUGH HE STICKS AROUND...

(edit by @wadewilsonhowlett heart emoji <3)

[fluffle-writes]

I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy

[fivewholeminutes]

How to avoid being spoiled with ST members' identities

A not so short guide for tumblr newcomers

Hello new fans and (probably) tiktok refugees! This is a guide on how to enjoy sleep token online without being spoiled and also, a guide on how not to be a twat at the same time.

It is rather long, but please give it a chance. If not for you, then for other people who do not want to be spoiled.

I was thinking about making a reminder post about it for ages and recent post from @zelink-stan02 inspired me to make it sooner!

Tumblr is one of not many places online where the chances of you getting jumpscared with the guys' faces and names are minimal. You're not completely safe here, but it's still way better than on other platforms. And a lot of users try to keep it that way.

So, the basics for people who want to avoid spoilers online!

No twitter. That is a place of no honour. No exceptions. Nothing good ever comes from ST twitter. Also i am not calling it x.

Tiktok is also not safe. But most of you probably know that.

Pinterest is a super quick way to see all their faces.

Idk about facebook, but i bet there are morons commenting with their legal names there too. Like on twitter.

Googling is very tricky. Image results will most likely show you their faces among 20 first photos and if you do google them. Well. The main search used to show the names as suggestions up here before; I'm glad to see that for now this is fixed:

BUT LO AND BEHOLD. Pictures tab gives you a treat (derogatory) of a full vessel's name RIGHT THERE:

First suggestion. They're not even trying. So yeah, googling is very tricky.

I didn't scroll further to the right, but i bet ii's name is there too. (Their names are spoiled most often, cause they're writing the songs.)

7. If you look for the lyrics, google sometimes shows vessel and ii's legal names in songwriters' credits. I haven't seen it recently, but it doesn't mean you won't see [redacted] instead of "Vessel 1" and so on in the credits. Try not to scroll too far when checking the lyrics. I think Apple music shows their names in lyics all the time, someone correct me if I'm wrong though.

FORTUNATELY,

if you want pictures, band info, older rituals' shenanigans etc. etc., we have real mvp's here on tumblr!

@sleepanonymous has it all. Including an archive of band-related stuff and also older (mostly) vessel's stuff without any names or faces revealed. Just older songs, if you're curious! Sleep Anon has a neat google drive archive too. Please check the tags and other links in their pinned post!

We also have another pillar of our community here, @thesleeptokenarchive, who shares older rituals' details, song release dates and many other important information and dates.

My dear friend @a-s-levynn created this beautiful archive with band pictures for people who want to find that very specific picture without having their faces spoiled. Behold, the Sleep Token Reference Archive (STRA). Perfect for artists, but not only!

Beautiful people @kaddyssammlung, @vulcanette and @chaosandchaos are posting cool band photos they find regularly. Others too, but these three are the most active! We're also lucky to have @hecetas here, posting their original photos of the band (and not only!)

Also, The Choir is not anonymous. The band itself shared their actual name, Espera, and the ladies are not faceless. It was their decision, band supported it, so you don't need to worry to keep them anonymous.

Last but not least! How not to be a twat in the sleep token fandom space on tumblr:

Do not tag any band-related stuff with their names or older projects' names.

Do not post photos of their faces and tag it as the band or band members.

If you want to sceam about the love you have for that one older Vessel's project, the not solo one, you can do it here: @wings-of-clay

If you are a curious being and face/names reveals don't mean much to you, you can always scream about their past projects with your closest friends in the DMs. Or ask literally anyone here if they want to talk about those things without revealing those things' names publicly. Most of us have their faces and names spoiled anyway. But trust me, you don't need to put any names for us to understand what you mean.

Not exactly a tumblr thing, but! One of the band members streams on twitch. It is an unspoken rule to NOT mention anything band-related in the chat. No "worship", no band name, other members' names, nothing. He wants to keep those things separate. You get blocked there or he stops streaming for everyone if you're too pushy.

And remember folks, digging too much into their personal lives guarantees a court case against you!

I'm not joking. There is a person who is going to face charges for being way too parasocial and stalker-y about them. Do not be like that person. This applies to all public figures, not only sleep token. But some people take anonymity as a challenge to dig even deeper for all their info.

Last, but not least! I have the names spoiled and i don't mind talking about old projects and stuff. So I'm here for you if you want to google something, but are afraid of a face reveal, or if you just wanna talk about the older stuff (tho i admit, i don't know much about previous bands/projects of all of them). However, I will not be engaging in anything related to their private lives or families and I will block you on spot if you mention anything like this to me.

[whatifitis]

♡ Pack It Up - CL 16 ♡

Summary: You're so irrevocably in love with Charles Leclerc and enjoying life when all of a sudden, you hear this agitating noise (your ex who is an actor and probably mentally deranged or SOMETHING).

Author's Note: Hi my lovlies! This is my first attempt at an SMAU so PLEASE BE NICE 😭 this is based off this request! also this can be seen as a pt. 2 to good luck charlie, but can also be read as a stand alone 😋 also the part 2 link is here and at the bottom cause fuck ass tumblr can suck my dick

CW: SMAU, uhhhh, fluff? angst? girl idk 😭use of the word hoe/whore in portuguese

y/n_l/n

Liked by charlesleclerc, yourbestie, 745,372 others

y/n_l/n in your eyes, i get lost, i get washed away

View all comments

charlesleclerc mon amoureuse, the most beautiful person in the world and the one i get to belong to ❤️

User67 ohhh our girl is so in love 🤭

User32 does this mean the next album will solely be a love album? 👀

jade_distinguinn ✨🌘

alex_albon i just know the next album is gonna eat!

↳ lilymhe who tf taught you that?!

↳ alex_albon you?!

↳ lilymhe mhm 🤨 im watching you, Alexander Albon Ansusinha

↳ User22 yall… its been 3 hrs since albon was last seen, do you think lily got him? 

↳ lilymhe 🤫

↳ User22 😨

-=+=-

charles_leclerc 

Liked by y/n_l/n, francisca.cgomes, and 1,549,948

charles_leclerc i wanna teach you how forever feels, ma déesse

View all comments 

y/n_l/n je t’aime tellement, mon amour. I can’t believe that this incredible man is all mine 🥰

User89 wait he’s using her song lyrics about him 😭😭😭😭

User56 yall ever think about how on y/n’s posts, the first pic is of charles but charles never puts her in the first pic?

↳ User44 it’s not that serious dude

↳ User79 hmmm i never thought of that, it is a bit weird, like he doesn’t want people to see her that much?

↳ User10 yall are crazy, this post has 4 pictures and 3 of them have y/n in it

↳ User05 tom never hid her tho 🙃 just saying

User23 ugh they’re literally couple GOALS 😍

-=+=-

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler, kit.connor, and 379,941 others

tomblythe some photos from christmas break, ready to come back to work happy and healthy 👍

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User51 ugh, could he be any hotter 😫

User33 ehm, who dat?

User00 cringing at the 2nd pic

↳ User99 okay and? U didn’t have to voice it

↳ User12 but yet i did 

User0 is that rachel?

↳ User9 NO IT’S Y/N

↳ User34 yall need to let that go, they broke up so long ago

↳ User9 no im being so fr, y/n posted that exact picture when they were together

↳ User56 omg?! You might be right, i recognize that pic

↳ User12 YALL ITS LEGIT  HER, ITS MY PFP AND I GRABBED IT WHEN IT WAS FIRST POSTED WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER OMFG

↳ User66 wait, so what does this mean? I thought y/n was dating that one french guy

↳ User45 that guy is not french, hes monegasque ☝️ and yes they are dating

↳ User3 maybe they broke up? 

↳ User72 no way, they just posted pics of each other, my money is tom is playing dirty to get her back

-=+=-

-=+=-

y/n_l/n posted a story

-=+=-

-=+=- 

y/n_l/n posted a story

-=+=-

-=+=-

tomblyth posted a story

Replies: 

User99 oh sir…

User34 it was clearly an accident, you don’t have to apologize

User76 so are u guys not getting back together? 😔

User89 but why did u have it? It’s been years

-=+=-

-=+=-

-=+=-

tomblyth posted a story

Replies: 

User32 OMG ARE YOU AND Y/N BACK TOGETHER?! PLS STOP WITH THE GAMES AND TELL US

User45 bruh this is so fucking weird, using your ex’s song to soft launch your new girl?

User96 ooooh this tea is piping HOT

User62 Oh hell no 😭

User05 so you’re not single anymore? 🥺

francisca.cgomes VAI P’A PUTA QUE TU PARIU

-=+=-

f1gossippofficial

169,452 Likes

F1gossippofficial seems like y/n l/n’s ex, Tom Blythe, wants her back? Tom has not only posted an old picture of y/n but has also used her song, which she wrote about him, to soft launch a new girl… or should i say someone he’s knows ‘all too well’

View all comments

User96 I can’t be the only one who thinks this is crazy, right? 

↳ User55 Def not, idk what’s going on but holy fuck they either need to stay together or get over eachother

↳ User87 i think y/n has been over Tom for quite some time now. She seems happy with charles

↳ User34 but is she really? Tom was the one to end things so she might’ve “moved on” but is wasting time with charles

↳ User66 no way, those two are so in love and you can see it in the way they look at eachother and talk about eachother. I mean just listen the song she just put out ‘ease my mind’

↳ User29 if you’re gonna bring that up, then let's also bring up ‘we can’t be friends’ i mean it’s all about how she’s waiting for Tom “wait until you love me again”

User10 Tom needs to leave Y/n ALONE

↳ User98 AGREED

Use09 she’s probably just another bitch using charles for fame and money, she should just leave him already cause he deserves so much better

↳ User77 not to mention she’s not as pretty as his exes 🤭

-=+=-

-=+=-

tomblyth

Liked by rachelzegler, bensonboone, 90,342 others

tomblythe the smell of you hair reminds me of her feet

View all comments

User40 wtf is that caption

↳ User55 OH GIRL LEMME TELL YOU. so this song is called ‘be my mistake’ and it’s essentially this guy telling the girl he’s fucking with that she will never be the girl he loves. Like “you’re great but shes amazing and beautiful” type of stuff

↳ User40 nah that’s sickening 😭

User76 i lowkey feel bad for his new girl, he’s obvs using her to get y/n back

↳ User56 yall not everything is about y/n

↳ User78 but it clearly is?! All the evidence points to it being about y/n and getting her back

User66 omg couples goals 😍

User90 that girl is so lucky to have tom like UGH i wish

-=+=-

-=+=-

-=+=-

-=+=-

f1gossippofficial

130,593 Likes

F1gossippofficial Breaking: Charles Leclerc was recently spotted attending a brand event�� without y/n? Rumor has it the two have separated 😱

Thoughts? 👀

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User49 OMG DID HE FINALLY DUMP THAT GOLD DIGGING BITCH 🤩

User12 nooo, mi parents 🙁

User56 honestly about time

↳ User44 wdym about time?

↳ User56 i feel like it’s been obvious that they’ve been unhappy together for a while. Tom is also a better match for y/n

↳ User44 uhm, they literally posted pics of eachother not long ago in a loving photo dump? Also tom was a manipulative person towards y/n and he drained the fuck out of her and made her miserable

↳ User56 instagram posts dont mean shit in the real world. And all this stuff against tom is alleged 

User32 now’s my chance 😍

User66 orrrr maybe they dont have to be together 24/7?

↳ User94 they always go to events together tho…

↳ User21 well y/n also has a job so maybe she was busy

↳ User50 idk man, doesn't look good for charles atm

-=+=-

y/n_l/n

Liked by francisca.cgomes, oliviarodrigo, and 784,483 others

y/n_l/n working on things 👍

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User77 NOW LOOK WHAT YALL DID! YOU TOOK HER SPARKLE

oliviarodrigo omg so excited bestie 🤭

User93 omg new music? 👀

↳ User33 breakup music? ☹️

↳ User10 do NOT put that into the universe ☝️

User65 yall i dont wanna be a bummer but… charles isnt in the likes…

↳ User80 why is this a big deal?! Maybe he’s busy 

↳ User34 charles is ALWAYS the first to like her posts, he’s never missed a post or been late

↳ User78 omg did they actually breakup?! 

User89 FUCK YOU TOM BLYTH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

francisca.cgomes my beautiful girl, love you so much ❤️

↳ y/n_l/n love you too 🩷

↳ User42 YALL SHE ISN’T USING THE RED HEART, ITS OVER 😭😫

Part 2

[ab121500]

Idk if anyone else has noticed but i am CONVINCED Teia and Viago get together and break up multiple times (at the very least ONCE) IN Veilguard. Cause when you first meet them CLEARLY something is going on between them. Like that moment between them when they tell Rook and Lucanis about Caterina. So, together.

but THEN. In every single one of my saves when I see them next Teia has a line during a conversation with Viago thats like "Good, good. Why is this so awkward?" To which Viago replies with "Perhaps we know eachother two well to just be colleges" (or something like that). Now to me, that sounds like a post-break-up we can still be friends sort of deal. So, broken up.

Then next time I visit I hear things like "its not breakfast if we don't sleep" and "our open drapery will not be the test" and its very clear they are at least fucking but are probably more because look me in the eyes and tell me Viago de Riva has casual anything. Mr. Wears-gloves-so-frequently-his-skin-rarely-gets-to-breathe does not take skin to skin contact lightly, even if he definitely trusts someone. So, back together (again)

Then theres that line about "this is why we got to split. And got back together. And split." So, theoretically at the time of saying that they're split (again.) Maybe i'm just assuming, but it fits my insanity so i'm taking it. So, broken up (again).

Then we get to the final fight and we get the "you like my furrow, call it the thinking mans dimple" line and like. Thats something i'd say if i was in a relationship with someone. That level of just, cute yet taunting is so relationship coded. Sure you could say it as a friend or even as past lovers but i feel like in the friend case it'd have a different sort of tone of voice? And the past lovers version would probably be something like "you LIKED my furrow." As in past tense. So, back together AGAIN.

I am absolutely feral for these two; they will NOT leave me be so I must scream about them into the tumblr void because my sister and friend are so done with me not shutting up about them.

[awordsmith]

where you came from 𝜗𝜚 s.r

۶ৎ in which you receive a letter detailing the death of your grandfather, head back to your hometown, and wonder if you ever should have left.

katcember

who? spencer reid x bau!reader when? s8 category: angst to fluff (comfort) content warnings: proofed! not much sad angst (more sad angst if that makes any sense), death of a family member/funeral, reader's hometown is in Europe (purely for aesthetic), more plot than spencer (kind of idk) reid with warmth word count: 11.2k a/n: this was my one of my first ideas when first posting on tumblr so i really do hope you enjoy it! there are a few words not in english, but sometimes when writing in english it's easier to say something in another language because english can be really...corny sometimes...anyway ily cari !!

The loops and curves connecting the words in that elegant font you grew up learning stuck in the back of your mind like a non-removable tumor. You could feel it. You had a time limit–but not to live. Two days. In two days you would go back to Europe, back to a continent you had thought you’d left behind years ago, a place you had thought you held no attachment to… no emotion.

Maybe, though, it was the fact that you had been gone so long, had not once gone to visit in all your time in America, and now–now your time had run out–or rather, another, no longer invisible hourglass had lost the last of its sand and someone had flipped it again, setting a new timeline in motion.

Your grandpa, your beloved nonno*–oh how you just couldn’t believe it. 

It had hit you so suddenly, your mother normally sent you letters, you didn’t mind her old ways, she was raised by the man who taught you cursive and calligraphy–with craft you thought ancient, and technology was still rather new, and she wasn’t one to conform to change.

You sighed, shifting in your seat as Hotch and the rest of the team gave the profile. The lights were too bright; you stared at the floor, one leg crossed over the other, and your arms folded. You tried keeping your focus. Yes, you were dealing with your own problems, and yes, you had just gotten the letter yesterday, but these children needed you now–and if you couldn’t be at your best with a personal issue weighing on your shoulders, could you even call yourself an FBI agent?

Emily had just left the team a month ago and her replacement wasn’t bad, but she wasn’t Emily. You desperately needed your friend right now, your soul sister. She could tell you what to do and how to handle things like this, she’s been doing this a lot longer than you, has more experience–and she understood you, at least where family matters were concerned.

“You okay?” Spencer whispered as the officers went back to their desks or collected in groups–some even leaving–probably to talk about the best course of action. This guy was going to strike again, every indication of it was there on the board.

“Yeah,” you sighed, feeling your stomach growl.

He furrowed his brows, “when’s the last time you ate?”

“Uhm,” you stood, rubbing your wrist, “I’m not sure, but I’m fine, really,” you gave him a tight smile walking over to the board, “We know he’s targeting school busses on their drop off, he’s insecure about something, his physical strength? That’s the only reason he’d subdue the bus driver in a blitz attack.”

Spencer called your name–almost as a whine–and you paused. “Look,” he said, “I don’t think the rest of the team’s noticed, so if you eat, I won’t say anything…”

You frowned, rubbing an eye, “fine.”

You’d think a look of triumph came over him, but you’d be wrong. He looked resigned, but not indifferent, it was more of a soft relief. Spencer had no idea what you were going through, you hadn’t told anyone–and you weren’t really planning on it. You liked to keep your personal life separate from work as much as possible, that’s one of the reasons you and Emily had clicked so well–you were nearly identical in that department, and, well, you both could agree Clyde was a little bit of an ass. You’d never worked directly with her during her Interpol days, but when she left, Clyde became your team lead, and–well, actually, that’s, pretty self-explanatory.

A few years in, you were able to transfer to the BAU, you’d performed considerably well and Clyde had recommended and vouched for you and–well, Emily knew Clyde, okay perhaps your connections helped a little, but was it really your connections or your skill because without your skill, you wouldn’t have been recommended now would you have?

Regardless, you had known how massive the opportunity was, which is why you’d said yes without a second thought. You joined the team two years ago, when Emily had shown no sign of leaving. You sighed, rubbing your hands together, they were sweaty and you felt sick, maybe you should try eating something.

“Alright,” you affirmed again, “come on you’re driving.”

You threw the keys that had been lying on the table next to the board at Spencer, he’d been close to Emily too, you assumed they still spoke sometimes when they got the chance as you did with her. Your mutual bond was probably–at least you considered it the most probable–reason for why you grew so close in such a short amount of time.

You were close in age, too, which you assumed added to the comfort.

Spencer took you to the closest fast food and you ate in the car devouring each bite. He asked for coffee and “real” sugar on the side, and then he sat there and watched you eat, and when you were finished he drove you back to the police station. 

The case took you to Santa Monica, California. Penelope had ushered you all into the room as soon as you’d got into the office this morning, honestly, you were expecting it, and with the hurriedness she had, you knew it couldn’t be anywhere near good–though you considered none of the cases you received “good”, this one involved children, and it seemed they were the prime target, but what you couldn’t figure out was why.

He didn’t kill all the children–in fact, in both cases, the unsub only killed three kids; it seemed as if he was targeting specific children, but they all came from relatively different backgrounds, and both schools–when considering the environment and looking at it from a geographical perspective–weren’t at all in near-to-similar neighborhoods. Even the two kids that were killed on the same bus had no connection, they weren’t friends, the witnesses said the boys stayed away from each other unintentionally, they just never seemed to cross paths and it just did not make sense.

You wanted–no needed–to figure this out, for the next potential victims–but the team had no clue as to which school he’d hit next. For this reason, Penelope was emailing schools at the masses to keep them on high alert.

“He’s targeting school buses,” you said, taking a sip of your water. “Not schools…” Spencer nodded and you asked, “Why?”

“Perhaps something happened to him on a school bus?”

“It’s important,” you agreed, “but wouldn’t that make him–like–fifteen?”

“No,” Spencer shook his head, “a fifteen-year-old wouldn’t have this much time, he’d have been caught by now.”

“The survivors say he wore a mask, he called the students by name–”

“But not their name–maybe he’s living in a delusion?” Spencer’s speaking sped up, “maybe he’s not fifteen but he’s reliving his teenage days. Maybe he was bullied and now he wants revenge?”

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain going after high school kids now. Why not just go after the people his anger is directed toward?”

“Because he can’t? Maybe they’re substitutes?”

“We need to tell the others.”

Spencer nodded, you rushed out of the car and into the police station, catching Morgan, Hotch, and JJ leaning over a phone, talking to Penelope. You explained your theory and funnily enough, Penelope had just found school records that supported it. Each victim had been suspended within the past year, accused of bullying or inflicting some type of physical or mental pain on another student.

Complaints about the victims were filed by students, so now you knew your unsub had access to all this information, the question was what title did someone need in order to garner this details.

“That has to be how he’s choosing his victims,” Morgan said.

Hotch thought for a second, then nodded, “All alright, call Rossi and Blake, tell them to get here, Penelope, are you still on?”

“Running and ready, sir,” she confirmed, “All alright, give me a list of the next potential targets, all kids who have been suspended or complained about in the last year due to bullying, narrow the search to males, fifteen older.”

“Sir, do you want me to narrow the search between the two schools?”

“No,” Hotch sighed, looking each of you in your eyes, “I want the entire city–”

“Hotch–” 

Spencer’s eyes narrowed in confusion, but Hotch cut him off, “you really want to sit around waiting for another body?”

Everyone went silent and Spencer’s eyes flitted to you for a moment, almost as in reassurance.

“He’s right, Hotch,” you stepped forward, trying to push away all thoughts of what was to be expected of you in two days.

“You,” Hotch narrowed his eyes as if just now suspecting something was up with you. 

A silent staring contest ensued, though it was quickly broken when an officer burst into your makeshift bullpen. “Another body was discovered.” Your heart sunk and you glanced to Spencer for comfort, his eyes drifting to yours for the same thing.

It always just seemed a little bit more painful when children were involved. Your stomach lurched and you felt sick, wanting to throw up the food you’d just eaten. You just wanted this all to be over so you could focus on your family issues. It might have been selfish, but wasn’t that your right? You couldn’t think about this right now, you needed to find this guy before he murdered another innocent kid.

“Give Garcia the geographical point and have her narrow the search.”

Hotch directed at Spencer, turning to JJ, “Stay here, help him and Rossi figure out what career our unsub might have. Morgan go Blake to check out the new crime scene, and,” he turned to you, “Come with me.”

You turned to Spencer one last time, not wanting to leave him. You were always together, working together, that is. Hotch never split you up so you thought there must be a reason for it now, but why, well, you couldn’t know for certain. You shook your head and followed him out the door. He seemed to wait for you with pause, his expression unreadable, almost like he was analyzing you. You tilted your head in warning and he finally relented.

“Let’s go.”

From that point forward, there wasn’t really much of a struggle, it just sucked you had been called in so late, and that another kid had died before you caught the guy. Four kids in total, three crime scenes. The ride back on the jet was tense.

Everyone seemed to need their own space whenever you dealt with a case like this, you, well, you’d play with Spencer’s hair, if you were really tired, he’d let you lean against his shoulder or use his lap as a pillow and sleep. This time, though, you were restless and you couldn’t find the need to sleep anywhere. You knew you probably should,but…it was just too much.

You couldn’t stay seated, you paced back and forth, your mind fleeting from the case to the letter you’d received yesterday. You’d brought it with you and you hesitated only for a second before pulling it from your bag and sitting in one of the empty rows. You could feel eyes on you, though they were trying to pretend they weren’t looking.

You wanted to say you could see them, say you weren’t in need of monitoring, but you were the youngest on the team, and despite your closeness, with Emily particularly, they all cared for you, which is why when JJ slid into the seat across from you you resisted rolling your eyes.

“Are you okay? You’ve been kind of… not yourself.”

“I’m fine, JJ, thanks.” You returned your eyes to your mother’s letter.

“You sure?” she asked, “is it your mother? Has something happened?”

She motioned toward the letter. They’d gotten accustomed to seeing you read over the renaissance looking artifacts throughout the day. That wasn’t the unusual part, no JJ was talking about how you weren’t attached to Spencer’s hip, how you avoided them all almost the entire day, and how you had been so focused on the case as if you were trying to make something else dissappear.

“We’re all here for you, you know.” She reached her hand out, rubbing her thumb over it.

“Yeah,” Morgan motioned for JJ to scoot over, “we’re a family, you know.”

“Aww, I wish I was there,” Penelope said from the other side of Morgan’s phone. You wanted to scoff, but a sad smile pressed to your mouth instead. They were cornering you as if they’d planned it.

Your eyes flitter over toward Rossi and Hotch who were pretending not to listen and Blake, who was evidently really not, then they landed on Spencer’s who stood suddenly from his normal spot in the front of the jet and began walking toward you. “See, even pretty boy’s upset.”

“I am not upset,” Spencer scoffed, sliding into the seat next to you. But then he held your gaze as if trying to communicate with his eyes, “but we are here for you, you know I’m always here, and…I’m sure if you called, Emily would be too.”

You took a breath, and when it came out it was shuddering, and that was the first time crying had crossed your mind. So, you said–first in general, “My grandfather just passed, I’m supposed to leave in two days for his funeral.” You let them take it in, then, “I need time off, Hotch.”

A snort came from Rossi and the team frowned at him, but you smiled, why was he so unserious all the time? You rolled your eyes, but then Penelope spoke up from the phone in Morgan’s pocket, “if you need someone to go with you, I’d be willing.”

Your eyes swelled at her offer and you opened your mouth to say ‘Really?’ but Spencer said, “I’d go too–you know, if you wanted that is,” before you could open your mouth.

“Thank you,” you nodded, “I’d like that…and you know…it wouldn’t hurt if the rest of you came as well,” your admission scared you, what were you doing? This is the exactly the opposite response Emily would have given, but maybe you weren’t as strong as Emily, and maybe…maybe that was okay.

“When are we leaving again?” Rossi sighed, pulling out his phone, “I’ll have to check my schedule.” And with that you let loose a snort, appreciating the kindness of your team.

“Jack, Will, and Henry are welcome to come as well.” You said, “And that girlfriend of yours, Hotch,” you added, “I think I’d be able to brave my family again if I had the Guardians of the Galaxy with me.”

“What about Strauss?” JJ suddenly asked, “What are we gonna tell her?”

“Oh you let me worry about her,” Blake smiled, though you had been sure she wasn’t even listening.

“You’re from Europe right?”

You huffed a sigh, “Yes, Rossi, I’m sure we’re not cousins.”

A few chuckled as Rossi responded with a nod and a smug grin,  “Just checking.”

You claimed the window seat, forcing Spencer to sit in the middle, though you had to climb over him multiple times to use the bathroom, you didn’t care, and neither did he…much. You thought you’d be able to sleep, but just like on the jet, you found yourself restless, and Spencer, well, he couldn’t help but ask.

The first question was simple, “how do you feel about going home?”

You laughed, a bitter expression framing your face, “I don’t know.” You were lying, though he wasn’t sure if you knew that fact yourself as you seemed genuine. The only way he knew for sure your response wasn’t what your subconscious truly thought was was by the way your lips pressed together right before you spoke, that was your tell.

He didn't know if you knew you did it, but he’d caught on to it pretty quickly when you’d first met, it had been something small, but he remembered it as clearly as if it were playing out right now in front of him. It had to do with your favorite food. Morgan had said he’d overheard you talking to Emily about how you wanted a certain order from this new restaurant because it tasted like the one you had back home, and to surprise you, he had brought it in one day and set it on your desk, brimming with energy to see your reaction.

You were confused at first, but when you saw him, you’d grinned, prying to box open, then your eyebrows had shot up and he’d asked you if it was your favorite food. You’d pressed your lips together and nodded, grimacing with the first bite, “I love it, thank you.”

Later on, he’d smacked Morgan for the first time upside the head, running away quickly after, Morgan had chased him for some time until Hotch had told them to stop acting like, “idiots,” and thst, “Jack acthas better self control than you two most days.”

“Do you have any pets at home?” He asked, watching you stretch out your arms above your head, deflating against your seat.

You smiled, “I used to have a dog, but she died before I left for university.”

“I’m sorry,” he frowned.

“Don’t be, she wasn’t really mine, but my sister’s.”

He nodded, it was early morning, everyone had gotten up way before they’d wanted to, except him. He was ready to go a bit too early, and when he’d picked you up at your apartment, it seemed as if you hadn’t slept much either.

“Hey, Spencer?” You suddenly whispered.

“Yeah?” He stared down at you as you began to move, causing him to shift until his body aligned with yours and your back hit his chest.

“Do you want to hear a boring story?” He quirked a brow, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. To the normal eye, you seemed incredibly close, strangely close–a couple kind of close, but to the team and between the two of you, it was more like the relationship Penelope and Dereck had, although instead of heaty words, it was comforting gestures like this, that, and you were always attached at the hip, you were partners with each other before anyone else, work partners that is.

“What’s a boring story?” He asked and you didn’t know if he was trying to be poetic, but it brought a smile to your face.

“My grandfather,” you focussed your eyes on the window, finding warmth in being pressed against him, his arms acting as a blanket that wrapped around you. “He was old in age, I mean, I knew that even when I was a kid, but there were times,” you shook your head recalling the moments in your mind.

Spencer kept quiet, listening intently as he rubbed circles on the exposed inner corner of your elbow.

“He would take me on adventures and back then, he seemed so young, so exceptionally immortal. It was otherworldly,” your voice got quieter as you continued, “I don’t know how to face him,” you sighed–God it seemed like all you could do for the past 45 hours was sigh.

“Tell me,” he whispered, “tell me about the adventures.”

You paused, turning your head slightly to see him, you’d done this countless times, but for some reason, it seemed more pertinent now. More….significant, “my grandad,” you murmured, “he was my captain. That was the game. We’d go to the pier sometimes, or the forest, and he’d always have these elaborate scavenger hunts set up in advance. He really–” you blinked and breathed, “...he was really good at things like that.”

“Setting up games?” Spencer asked incredulously, but you knew it was good-natured, meant to bring the smile that had so evidently fallen off back to your face.

“At crafting and cultivating imagination.”

“Ah,” Spencer nodded, “yeah how did I miss that?”

You smacked is chest playfully.

“How do you feel about seeing your family, how long has it been?”

You gazed out the window again, there was low chatter around the plain, it was dark, the lights were off, and most people were asleep. You pondered briefly about why Spencer was still up and deigned to ask him when sunlight shone through the window, blinding you momentarily. It wasn’t a lot nor was it as bright as you were used to, and it was quickly hidden behind the clouds once more, but you smiled at it anyway.

“A new beginning,” you raised your hand, blocking the slight sunlight that filtered in now and then, not really sure what you meant.

Spencer chuckled, reaching out to grab your wris. He held it, waving it around as if you were casting a non-verbal spell.

“We don’t have to talk about it now,” he whispered, “but whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

“I know you will,” you replied as easily as if you hadn’t said anything at all. “You always are.”

And again, for a moment, you pondered why that was, why Spencer always seemed to be the only person–other than Emily–who was always there for you when you needed someone, why he was the only person you wanted there when things went wrong. 

It was a question that had bubbled up over the last month since Emily had left. You’d begun to lean on him a lot more, yes, but you could very well just have as easily called Emily. Spencer wasn’t lying, you knew she would pick up no matter what, but oddly, you found you didn't want to call her because–you already had the person you needed with you. And he would always be there, even if you stopped working together, Spencer would always be there.

You were sure you could call him in the middle of the night and he’d come running. But why would you want to? You shook the dangerous thought away. 

“It’s sunrise,” he said, pulling your attention back to the window. Slowly, he brought your hand to once again rest on your stomach.

“We still have about 5 hours,” you sighed, noting the time.

He leaned back, shifting in his seat, “Then we better get comfortable.”

You wondered what you’d do first when you landed, would you have so much jet lag you wouldn’t be able to see your family for some time? Would you be able to sleep? Finally? Where would your grandpa be? Probably at the funeral home. Would other family members be traveling into the city for the funeral? If they were they’d have to stay at the main house, there wewould be no other space available in the others.

You were only staying three days, and if Stauss called you in early, you’d have no choice, but to leave before that. You were able to solve one more case before you left, though you had still strained for sleep, everyone else seemed to be a little overly excited. Blake stayed to help other teams, she was new and you weren’t that close, though she didn’t seem to mind.

She was like Rossi in that department, unable to take days away from work as she ran on catching these guys. But for you, and everyone else on the team, you were sure, you couldn’t wait for your days off.

They were the closest thing you got to normalcy, that and time with Spencer outside of work, it was time in your world, one where bad guys didn’t exist, one where you could escape into the realities of a Charlotte Bontë novel, one your grandpa had gifted you before you could remember a life without it.

You wanted to thank Spencer, but you didn’t know how. You wanted to thank everyone, really, but Spencer most of all, and instead of thinking about why, of letting it plague your thoughts, you leaned further into him, rubbed your face into his soft sweater vest, and closed your eyes.

Penelope threw her head back as she grabbed her suitcase, “where to now?” Spencer pushed her sunhat out of the way. She was in for a rude awakening, it was winter in Europe, and though most people were on holiday, that only meant the airports would be extra lively.

“First, let’s make sure we have everyone.” You began counting of heads, narrowing your eyes, “where’s Hotch?”

“We’re here!” Jack came running, Hotch sprinting after him. It was not too odd a sight, for you to see Hotch in dad mode, he normally had that look on when Spencer did something stupid or Penelope said too much on speaker–but this, oh this was gold.

Rossi snapped a photo with an old camera he’d brought along, chuckling when Hotch glared at him. “Alright,” you nodded, noting Hotch’s girlfriend slowly filling the space beside him. “Now, my immediate family isn’t that big, but the rest of the family does live in the same town, so you’ve all been assigned housemates.”

“Housemates?” JJ raised a brow.

“I’ll,” you checked the time, “explain on the train, come on.”

You were honestly surprised everyone had come, you’d invited them because you truly had thought them being here would lessen the pain, but to think that they all wanted to be here for you as well, even Rossi had come–and he hated taking vacation time. Though, the most surprising had to be the fact that Blake had actually succeeded in getting Straus to let you all come.

You stayed together, it was easy for some, though others kept getting sidetracked. You stopped a few times to look at a few shops and monuments, though you kept explaining to Penelope she’d have more than enough time later to go on her mini explorations.

You supposed it was normal though, that was how you were your first time in America–your first time in any new country or state, really. Most everyone had never been to Europe, even for you it felt like stepping into a storybook. You hadn’t been home in so long, it was like a lost memory.

Though afternoon, the day was getting dark already, and people were milling about, readying for Christmas–your heart lurched, and though you tried not thinking about him too much, you couldn’t help but wonder if your grandfather had been alone during his passing, what were his last words? His last thoughts? Rainclouds not only drew to the sky but your mind as well.

You felt more than guilty, that was the only way you could describe the horrid emotion twisting in your gut ever since you’d received the letter. You hadn’t seen your parents–your sister–face to face in a long time. It was part of the guilt of moving to America without giving them a heads up and for leaving when you knew they wanted you to stay.

Your older sister had stayed, why couldn’t you have? There really was no explanation other than you just couldn’t. It felt small, suffocating. You loved your hometown, but eventually, you knew there had to be something more out there, something more calling your name, and the longer you stayed, the more you buried that feeling, the less motivated to do anything you got.

So, you saved up during your uni days and took the first position in America you’d found, which is how you ended up at Interpol, climbing the ranks slowly but surely and eventually working with Clyde.

You reached the train station, the cool weather making everything around you a tint of blue. The benches that sat in front of the train tracks were taken up by Jack, Henry, and Will, who’d been carrying a ton of baby supplies. You paused, checked your watch again, nodded, and turned your face toward everyone again, “Alright people, here’s the plan. My family knows you're coming, one of the reasons they were okay with it is because we own a few properties and can house you all, hence your housemates, or if you prefer, hosts.” You glanced at JJ, “You, Will, and Henry will be staying with my sister and her husband. She has two kids so she’s used to the noise.”

You had thought about letting Hotch stay with your sister, but that would have just been too weird. No, instead you’d paired Hotch up with one of your cousins, who was married, but had no kids. Jack was older, no longer in diapers, and had a controlled temper, so it seemed perfect.

You relayed this information and moved on, “Penelope and Morgan, you’re staying with my aunt and uncle on my dad’s side, trust me, you’ll be thanking me–and Rossi, you’re with my aunt an uncle on my mom’s side Is that everyone then?” You looked around, nodding.

“Hang on,” Rossi held up a hand, “I don’t like the way you said that last part.”

“That’s everyone then?” You ignored him, “All alright, the train should be here–” You cut off your sentence as the train pulled into the station, “...right on time.”

 Waiting your turn to step onto the train as people made their way off, you felt around in your pocket for the letter one last time, sighing in relief when you it was still there. You grabbed your suitcase and began pulling it aboard the train when Spencer grabbed your arm and held you back. You glanced at everyone else boarding the train, making sure you had time before turning back, “Uhm,” he frowned, looking awkward, “where am I staying?”

“Hmm?” Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at your watch again, “with me and my parents.” You said it so simply, as if it were an afterthought–as if it was so incredibly obvious that you didn’t think you had to mention it.

“Oh,” he didn’t know how to feel, he was a little embarrassed, but there was something else…sick? He didn’t know, but it made him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

“Come on,” you latched your hand onto his wrist and yanked him onto the train, “before it leaves without us.”

You honestly wanted to go straight to your parent's house, but you knew you had to introduce your co-workers/friends to your family so when you left it wasn’t so weird, though the only one who complained was Rossi, you couldn’t blame him, but at the same time you found it funny. He swore up and down you had put him in this position on purpose and he didn’t find it funny–“Not one bit,” he’d said right before you left him in his room. “I’ll get you back for this,” he’d warned.

Once you’d left JJ, Will, and Henry at your sisters–she hadn’t been home, thank God, as you didn’t think you could face her just yet–you and Spencer hailed a cab and had all but drifted off to sleep during the ride to your childhood home. Your mom had been the firstborn, so she’d gotten the main house, though your grandparents never left. They had kind acted as your second parents growing up and you were incredibly close, especially you and your grandfather…and now he was gone. You bit the inner corner of your cheek, feeling like you wanted to cry but just couldn’t find the comfort to do so.

Spencer noticed, of course, that you were leaning on him, and had been the entire cab ride. When the it came to a stop in front of a large, three-story Victorian house, he hesitated before shaking you awake. He wouldn’t have done it if he knew what to do, but this wasn’t his house and this was the first time he was going to meet your parents, though it excited him, he couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why.

You were like–his platonic soulmate, nothing had ever happened between you two and just because you were going to be sleeping in the same house, probably a few feet apart, didn’t mean anything was going to start now. Morgan slept at Penelope’s all the time and though Spencer always suspected they were more, nothing had ever happened, which meant it was possible for a guy and a girl to just be friends–and yet, here is was, palms sweating, mind running, mouth drying as he walked up the trail leading to the front door of your parent’s house.

A knock, and hushed whispers, and then the door opened, your mother standing in the doorway with a bright smile on her face. She called your name and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a hug. You wondered if your grandpa was at the funeral home still, if he was cold, which was a stupid thought, he couldn’t feel anything, he was gone, no longer here roaming the earth, telling his outdated jokes and taking you on secret journey’s, and you were no longer that little girl who laughed at his outdated jokes and believed in the magic of his secret journeys.

When you pulled away your mother, with her now thinning, grayed hair pulled into a tight ponytail and the wrinkles lining her frail face–said, “Oh, let me get a look at you.” 

She took a step back and that’s when your father came into view, “Dad,” you smiled, the feeling almost overwhelming.

He pulled you into another hug, and just when you didn’t know if you could handle seeing one more relative you hadn’t seen in ages, your grandmother shouted from somewhere on the first floor, “Is that her? Is she here?”

Your heart seized itself and you took a step back, unknowingly stepping into Spencer’s personal space. You turned to apologize, but your grandmother had already wobbled in on her two dainty legs, as quickly as she could have if in her prime. Her old crone eyes narrowed, “nice of you to grace us with your presence.” She sprinkled salt on the floor as she glowered.

“Mom,” your mother groaned.

“What?” She crossed her arms and turned her head as if she had things better to do than welcome the granddaughter–who’d left everything behind–back into her life.

“It’s fine, Mom,” you reassured as your father went to close the door behind you’d walked in, Spencer gled to your back.

Your grandmother stomped out of the room in old lady fashion. “How are you dear? Have you been getting my letters?”

You cringed, “Yes,” though you never sent one back, you did always text a message, thanking your mom for writing you, she’d only heart it, though, which left you wondering if maybe you should’ve picked up a pen and paper. “I keep them all secure in a drawer.”

She nodded, a placid smile falling to her lips, “Well, you must be tired and–” she glanced at you, then at Spencer, then at your father and held his gaze for a moment before returning her eyes to you, “who’s your…”

“Oh, this is Spencer,” you patted his chest as if that was explanation enough.

Your mother nodded, not really sure how to take it, she turned to Spencer, hoping he’d offer a little more information, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Spencer stared at her hand, contemplating and you were just about to say something about it when he reached out and shook it. Slack-jawed, you eyed him suspiciously, turning away in a huff. When you’d first met him, he’d refused to shake your hand, sure he had come a long way since then, but it still annoyed you for some reason.

“Come, let me show you your rooms.”

Your mother led you up the starcase than faded into a small stairwell, leading up to the second floor. The wood was old mahogany, though you weren’t paying much attention to it. At the end of the left hall was another staircase that led to the third floor, but even half awake you knew it was probably locked. It always had been. 

You recognized the wallpaper, a deep, forest green and you half wondered if the wallpaper in your bedroom had changed, if it had been converted into a guest bedroom. Your mother gave Spencer the guest room down the hall. You waved goonight to him before heading into your room. He paused his eyes taking in your childhood home.

It was so incredibly different from his, but it also felt…small. You were this giant, bubble of energy and a quiet town in Europe just dind’t seem to add up to your personality. He sighed and pulled open the door, you weren’t a few steps away like he had hoped, but you were close enough. He stopped himself–this was completely bizarre, even for him. This was more up–well, he didn’t know, but it wasn’t up his alley.

Tired, you’d turned in for the night, though your eyes caught on all the things you’d left behind, you told yourself you’d look at it in the morning. You were glad everyone was here supporting you, you were especially glad to have Spencer–were glad he came, but then of course he came, that was just the kind of person he was.

You turned off the lamp on the bedside table, burying your face in the sheets, finding yourself still unable to cry, but whispering, “You would have liked him a lot, nonno*.” Which was madness, firstly, why did it matter if you grandfather would have liked Spencer or not. Secondly, your grandfather was gone, and the whole reason you were here was because of that fact. Maybe you just couldn’t accept it yet and that’s why you were thinking all these weird thoughts, why you couldn't cry.

You sighed, shutting your eyes, hoping you wouldn’t dream; to face tomorrow, you would just need sleep. Sleep and a lot of quiet.

You cracked open one eye, light trickling in through the curtains though it wasn’t bright. You left your door ajar as you headed toward the bathroom. There was soft chatter on the first floor, and you were sure your grandmother and parents were awake. The faint aroma of coffee wafted through the air and you wondered if Spencer was up too.

You didn’t have to wait long to find out as he stepped out of the bathroom just as you went to open the door. His hair was wet and he was wearing a white collared shirt under a brown sweater vest. He smiled when he saw you, though your eyes were drawn to the water dripping down his forehead. He was holding a towel, you assumed to try and dry it, though it looked if he hadn’t had much success.

“Morning.” You murmured.

“Good morning,” he echoed, stepping out of the way. “You’re parents said I could,” he motioned behind him, pressing his lips together when you raised a brow. He nodded, “hurry? I am kind of nervous.”

You snorted and shook your head, “sure thing, piccolo*.”

You shut the bathroom door behind you, feeling an airy sensation float through your body as you began pulling your clothes off.

Half an hour later, you found Spencer in his room still trying to dry his hair. “You should just let it air dry.” You voiced, tucking a lock of your own wet hair behind your ear.

He looked up when you opened the door, sighing, and setting the hand towel to the side. His hair was nearly dry, though he was trying to get the wet bits in the back. 

You huffed, climbing on the bed and sitting behind him on your knees, “let me see it.” You began massaging the now-damp towel into his hair, trying to use the little dry parts it still had left. He chuckled, jerking his head slightly when the towel rubbed a sensitive spot. You smirked, “that tickle?”

He huffed another laugh, “stop,” he called your name in warning, “I’m serious.”

You laughed, running the towel teasingly up and down his neck. He jerked and eventually jumped up, pushing you backward on accident. He launched a tickle attack, fingers jabbing at your sides, your neck, under your arms, and when you thought he couldn’t get any worse, he sought your feet, your sockless feet.

“Okay!” You snorted, “Okay, you win!”

“What?” He asked, staring down at you with triumph.

“Oh, don’t be an ass.” 

He grinned playfully, but relented, “Alright, come on, your parents probably want to see you.”

You huffed a sigh and threw your head back, the pillows coming to its rescue as you let your hands come to rest on your stomach, “do we have to?” His grin eased into a gentle smile and you gave in, jumping up, “Yeah, fine.” 

You headed downstairs, passing picture frames from past relatives. There were so many ancient trinkets that your generations had left behind, Spencer said it was like walking through time, and it honestly was. Not just because the house was built in the middle 1800s, but because everything from the wallpaper to the furniture, and right down to the people still living in it–had that reminiscent aura about them.

“Nice of you to join us.” Your grandmother said as you walked in, “And who’s this, a boyfriend?”

Your mother sent hers a warning glare before turning back to you, “good morning, please sit,” she motioned toward the breakfast table.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Spencer said taking the seat beside you, “again.”

Your mother laughed and waved a hand, “There is no need for formalities, but I do want to thank you for coming.” She glanced at you momentarily, but you avoided her eyes. You knew you would eventually have to speak to everyone again, but you weren’t ready for that yet.

“So, how long have you been dating my daughter?” Your father asked. You would have choked on the tea had you drunk any prior. Your eyes widened instead and you turned to Spencer apologetically, but he didn’t seem at all fazed, “we’re just friends.”

His smile seemed content, but your grandmother scoffed. You turned to her, almost already fed up with the little attitude that’d been present since your arrival. You knew she had always preferred the company of your sister, and she detested you for leaving without a word–not to her, but to your grandfather.

You frowned, wanting to ask about it, but you couldn’t find words that would bring the least amount of sadness to the room. 

“Are you going out today?” Your father changed the subject, turning toward Spencer. He seemed to catch on to the fact that you were uncomfortable, so he directed all his questions at your beloved pretty boy.

Spencer answered them with ease–to which you knew you’d be in debt. An hour went by and Penelope was blowing up the team group chat, asking when you were meeting up. Eventually, you knew you’d have to take her around town and to be honest, you could use a little distraction from the looming presence of being around the rest of your family when they got in this afternoon.

“When will you be back?” Your mother asked

“Not sure,” you replied, more clipped than you meant for it to be.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on her,” Spencer reassured, trying to ease the tension.

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” your grandmother poked her head out of nowhere.

You shot her a glare and said, “Is this your way of seeing me off?”

Shocked by your reply, she tutted and jerked her head away, with closed eyes and crossed arms. You rolled your eyes, whispering, “see you later,” in the softest voice you could manage.

“That was…”

You huffed, wrapping your arms around yourself, “tell me about it.”

“So…your grandmother…”

“She hates me because I left, deep down they all do.” You frowned, but no tears came, they seemed to evade you.

Spencer pressed his lips together, normally he had the perfect response for anything you said, but you never spoke about your family. You were always sure to draw a boundary, you were very much like Emily in that sense, or at least he thought so.

You took a cab to the pier, agreeing to meet at the beach seemed simple. There were a few people, mostly locals though, your hometown wasn’t a place tourists normally visited. The main reason this town was able to survive was because a lot of the residents were wealthy, and that wealth stayed in the family and–well, the families stayed here.

“Woah,” Penelope yelped at the fourth store you stopped in, “we have to look around,” she said, eye-widening. Jack and Henry were milling about together, looking at little trinkets. You recognized the shop, it was an antique toy store–your grandfather had bought all your gifts over the years from this one in particular, some were secondhand, but they were sentimental to you and you had taken a few with you when you’d moved to America. 

“Babygirl, calm down.” Morgan laughed, following her down an aisle.

“How’s everyone settling in?” You asked, turning to Rossi when he huffed and muttered something under his breath. “What was that?” You leaned in, grinning.

Spencer pulled you back just as Rossi glared and called you a sadist. “We’re doing fine, your sister is nice.” JJ smiled, “she was asking about you,” she paused, waiting to see if it was an alright topic of conversation. When she realized you were waiting patiently for her to continue, she did, “she said she was sorry for not being home when you dropped us off. She wanted to catch up.”

You took a breath, your cheeks seemingly hot in the cold weather. “I know it’s not my place,” Will started, catching your eyes, “...but I…I think you should talk to her…”

You frowned at him, contemplating, then you nodded, sigh slipping past your lips, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Oh!” Penelope shouted, “Gelato, my phone says there’s a gelato place right around the corner!” 

You noticed Morgan walking up behind her when a laugh–though it sounded more like a croak–rang through your ears. “Your phone would be correct,” an old woman rounded the counter, short as could be. Her eyes bounced from face to face, settling on yours, “I told your old wench of a grandmother you’d come back. Were it for anything it’d be for him.” She sighed, “Come here, let me have a spin, my God how long has it been?”

You wanted to say eight years, but you neglected that subject and instead focussed your memory on figuring out who this woman was. 

“Hmm,” she hummed after a moment, taking a step back, her arms so incredibly bony they looked as if they might snap with the slightest pressure. Her pallor was somewhat tanned, and there were a few black spots up and down her exposed skin.

“You’re nonna’s old classmate.” It clicked, she was always stopping by the house in your earlier days, and she’d sometimes sit on the wraparound porch, sipping wine with your grandmother.

“Did you forget me already capretta*?” She chuckled as if she’d made a joke.

The rest of your group had deemed the conversation not there’s to listen in on, so they’d taken to wandering around the shop, the only one who stayed–partially because he wanted to and partially because you’d grabbed his wrist when he had tried walking away–was Spencer.

“I’m not a little girl anymore,” you murmured, “you shouldn’t call me that.”

“Oh, you’ll always be capretta* to me, you and all the others.” She smiled, her beady eyes watching you for a moment, as if expecting you to do something brash. Eventually, she said, “his funeral is tomorrow, yes?”

“Yeah,” saying it brought out a wave of pain. Your mouth felt heavy and your stomach dropped to your feet.

She nodded, “have you decided what you’re going to say?”

You shook your head, “I won’t be speaking.”

She paused, disappointment flashing across her face, “well, I’m sorry to hear that.” You pressed your lips together and began turning away, ready to get out of this uncomfortable situation, but she wasn’t finished, “you know, I’m sure he’s happy you’re here.”

Spencer watched you close your eyes, take a deep, shuddering breath, and open them carefully. He watched them gloss over and without thinking about it, snaked a hand behind your back, as if holding you to this earth would help you in some way, unbeknownst to him, it did. His touch grounded you, and you thought, another debt to be owed.

“You’re amante*,” she said right before you walked back outside.

“He’s not my–” you waved your hands but your your words faltered as she shook a cloth at you, a knowing smile adorning her face.

“Maybe not yet, capretta*.”

You sighed, yanking Spencer outside. “What did she say?” He asked as if he couldn’t use damned context clues.

“Nothing,” you responded, but Rossi raised an eyebrow, holding up his hands when you shot him a look, your eyes flashing in warning. 

The other’s finally joined you outside and you spent a few more hours acting as a tour guide. When you deemed it time to go home, you told everyone to be ready in formal attire around 8, the rest of your family would be coming in, staying at the main house as it was the last place that still had room, and a small party would ensue. Everyone only came together for weddings and funerals so they tended to make the most of it.

You weren’t really looking forward to seeing the rest of your cousins, hell you could barely face your immediate family, extended seemed a little too much too soon.

You thought about hiding up in your room, you hadn't had much time to take it in yet and you thought it might help.

Relatives started arriving around 7:30. Spencer had wandered down to your room and knocked, though you could hear the hesitation in it. “Come in,” you said, sitting up.

He walked through, shutting the door softly behind him. “So this is where I find all your secrets.” He chirped, an easy smile settling on his face as joined you on the bed, leaning back. “It’s pink,” he noted.

“Hey,” you said, “the wallpaper came with the room.”

He huffed a laugh, his eyes catching on a few blankets stacked neatly on a shelf linear your bed, “are those your baby blankets?”

“No,” you laid back down, the lamp at your side dimming slightly. “I think I stole those from my sister.”

He smiled, “I wonder what it’s like to have a sibling.”

You smiled, recalling all the idiotic fights you’d get into, how your parents would send you two to your room until you, “learned to love each other”. “She’s older by a few years,” your voice carried through the silent room, though it was lively on the first floor. You suddenly remembered you had a third, but you couldn’t recall a single memory of you being allowed there as is had always been locked.

“Do you want to talk about her?” He asked after a while.

You debated, on one hand, it might be good practice for when you spoke to her, on the other hand, what would you even say? You had no idea how she’d been these past eight years, what her life was like. What could you say and so you said, “ask me about her.”

He hummed for a moment, falling on, “why’d you steal the blankets?”

Your lips pressed together and you tried piecing together an accurate depiction of the event. “Well, she’d got them on a trip with our grandmother. My grandfather and I had been on an adventure, I think we were in the forest, I can’t remember,” you sat up and pushed yourself off the bed, walking over to the dresser and bending down to the shelf that held the blankets.

Spencer sat up, letting his eyes follow you, he felt warm, not anxious. Though his mind was working slowly, he found he didn’t mind. You seemed to calm everything down for him, it was a sense of comfort he hadn’t known he’d needed until you came into his life, and his headaches from before had slowly ceased the closer the two of you got.

“This one,” you held up, “was originally hers.” You brought it to him as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed, his feet sprawled around you. You didn’t think twice before stepping in between him, but you had never done that before and it caught him off guard. You had never been in such proximity when you were both wide awake, and you certainly had never faced each other like this.

Nevertheless, he didn’t mind–in fact, he was finding it increasingly obvious that he preferred you to be as close to him as possible. He ran a hand over the smooth ruffles of the white blanket. It was pleaded with light pink embroidery. “You should give it to your daughter.” He heard himself say, though his throat went dry right after. 

“You think so?” You found yourself wanting to be closer to him–as if I’m not close enough, you scolded yourself.

“Yeah,” he looked up at you, and gosh–it looked like he wanted you, and gosh–you felt your heartbeat speed up.

Your body moved on its own, stepping forward, loving the way his legs close together to entrap you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, dropping the blanket down beside him. You lifted your knees onto either side of his waist and sat in his lap, his arms snaking around your hips. “Hi,” you murmured, a nervous–almost hesitant–expression falling over your features.

His eyes flitted between your lips and your eyes, but he managed to force out a, “hi.”

You bit your lip and it drew his gaze instantly, you could feel his heart palpitate in his chest, almost as fast as yours. His eye fluttered close and his head fell back when you ran your hands through his hair. You didn’t know what you were doing, you told yourself multiple times, unsure of why this was happening–now of all times, oh your sweet nonno! Forgive me, you pleaded.

You angled your head forward, ready to do the one thing you’d knew your subconscious had been wanting for God knew how long, but then a knock sounded on the door and Spencer’s eyes opened once again.

“Who–” you cleared your throat, “who is it?”

“Uhm,” a nervous chuckle came from the other side of the door, “it..it’s me.” Your sister. You cursed, glanced at Spencer, then with an apologetic look, unraveled yourself from his embrace.

You walked toward the door, trying to fix your nettled clothing in the process. You took a breath and paused, then opened the door. Your sister stood there, tall, lean, and elegant, as you remembered her to be. “Hi,” she smiled, tilting her head.

You smiled back, trying your best to not give away what had just been going on–what the actual hell was just going on? You wanted to contemplate it more, wanted to ask yourself what the hell you thought you were doing–but refrained from doing so in the moment.

“Can…can I come in?”

You tensed, your eyes darting behind you and Spencer stood, throwing you an understanding glance. Your sister took a step back as he left the room, eyes following him as he disappeared somewhere down the hall. You swallowed and shifted out of the doorway, “come in.”

She raised an eyebrow but kept quiet upon you lifting a hand. 

“How have you been?” She asked once you shut the door. 

You thought about your answer, settling for, “good,” because you had been good, you had been very good, up until you got that letter.

“That’s good,” she responded, looking around the room, smiling, “you know, mom kept it just the way you had it when you left.”

You nodded, yes, you had noticed that, but you weren’t sure how you felt about it just yet.

“What’s this?” She walked toward your bed, where Spencer had been not a minute ago. She picked up the dainty blanket and sat down, steering clear of the part that had been undoubltey rumpled by Spencer. “Oh,” she said as if just recalling, “it’s the blanket I gave you.”

Your eyebrows scrunched together, you distinctly remember you stealing it from your room and hiding it when she had come asking if you’d seen it.

She laughed, apparently recalling the same thing, “I knew you had it back then,” which came as a surprise to you. She bit back a smile as she began folding it again, “nonna told me to let you keep it.”

Your eyes widened slightly, “did she?”

“Yep,” your sister popped the ‘p’.

“Hmm,” you hummed.

“What?” She asked, setting the blanket aside.

“She’s become batty.”

Your sister’s eyebrows rose, “how do you mean?”

“She’s been nothing but brutal to me,” you frowned, crossing your arms.

Your sister’s eye crinkled like she was about to laugh, “wow,” she said instead, “you’ve been gone so long you must have forgotten.”

“Forgotten what?” You scoffed.

“That’s how she’s always been,” your sister shook her head, mumbling your name and something else incoherent before turning to look back up at you, “I hope you visit again, that this isn’t some one off thing.”

You pulled away, your walls instantly going back up and your sister sighed, clearly noting the mask of an expression. “You always did that when you were a kid, you know.”

“Did what?” You furrowed your brows.

“Fold into yourself,” she waved her hands, “I don’t know how else to explain it.” She huffed, “you know, we really miss you, everyone. My kids,” she started, tears thrreatening to break loose, “you nieces and nephews–they don’t even know you.”

You looked down and for a second you weren’t sure what she was talking about, but then you remembered that yes–you were a zia*, your sister had children, three of them, and you hadn’t met them once.

Guilt wrapped itself around you like a veil, “I’m sorry,” you heard yourself saying, your face contorting as if you wanted to cry, wanted to express how remorseful you felt, but didn’t know how to.

“You’re just like her,” she threw her head back as a few tears ran down her cheek, “I think that’s why you were closer to Nonno*. You and Nonna* are too alike, you’re both so damn stubborn.” She huffed a laugh and for a moment, a sliver of a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

“I think love my best friend,” you found yourself admitting, maybe it was your way of trying to reach out, to tell your sister you were still you.

“That guy that was just here?” She grinned at you, “yeah, the family has been talking about it, Nonna* said to expect a wedding within the next year.”

Your face fell, embarrassment taking over, “what? Why? That old bat!” You scoffed, standing, “I can’t believe her, I’ve only been here–what? Two days? If that? That crazy old woman,” you marched toward the door, “Well?” You called to your sister, “are you going to back me up or what?”

She stared at you for a moment and then slowly, but surely, an calm smile crept onto her face, but her eyes were ones of storybook villains,“yeah, sure.”

The day started gloomy, though when you met Spencer in the hall, it became just a little less than that. You weren’t feeling like yourself, though you weren’t actually sure what self you were referring to. 

JJ had messaged the group chat that she’d be late because Henry had an accident right before they set off to leave. You thought about messaging your sister, but it felt weird, you weren’t used to initiating conversation with your family, so you didn’t, although you did plan to speak before the funeral.

You wore simple black attire, as did everyone else and you caught yourself holding onto Spencer’s hand tighter than usual, almost as if he’d leave you too, and you couldn’t have that. Your heart studded in your chest once you saw the coffin, it was closed, of course. It had been open for the hearing, but that had occured before you’d landed.

You couldn’t move forward. You told the others to go on and after making sure you were okay, they did, “but you’re not allowed to go,” you’d whispered, almost to yourself.

Spencer had squeezed your hand, whispering back, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Your family gathered around the casket and the sacerdote* stepped forward, reading off a few of the retellings your grandmother had no doubt written down with the help of your parents. You noted a few other, non-related spectators, probably friends.

A few of his favorite songs were played and then your mother said a few words, followed by your grandmother, and finally your sister. “Are you okay?” Spencer pulled you closer by your arm.

You pressed your lips together, watching the coffin being lowered into the grave. “I don’t know…” and when you swallowed, you found your throat dry and for the first time since the letter, you not only found yourself wanting to cry, you found it was almost within reach.

The ceremony ended and relatives began dropping dirt into the grave, you thought to say one last prayer before leaving, but you didn’t want anyone to see you. You turned to Spencer and let go of his hand, “I just…” you turned away, pressing your lips together as you eyed the fresh grave.

He smiled sadly, but he nodded; he always seemed to be able to understand you no matter how silent or how loud you were. Maybe that’s why you loved him, you couldn’t be sure. There were so many things you loved about him–gosh you loved him. The revelation was like a wish from a birthday candle being answered.

You stepped away and Spencer watched as you pushed through the crowd. Hotch and the others surrounded him, questioning stares ever-present. “We should give her some time,” he said after seeing you hesitate, then sit near the makeshift headstone.

“What’s she doing?” Penelope frowned, watching you shift in your spot on the wet grass.

“Saying goodbye,” Spencer was the only one to respond–he was also the last one to retreat.

You didn’t know how to begin, you hadn’t spoken to him in eight years. You were scared that he was angry at you, but then again, you knew that couldn’t be the case, yes you knew he was gone, but what if his spirit was still here? What if he couldn’t move on because he had unfinished business and it was your fault?

You stopped yourself, since when did you believe in superstition? That was your parents…and Rossi; not you.

You sighed, running your hand through the grass, deciding to start as if he were still there, trying not to sound too guilty.

Nonno, you began, I–I’m sorry, you shook your head, I know, I know I should have visited. I know– a single tear fell down your cheek and you paused to wipe it away, shocked by your own emotions. “Forgive me,” you whispered.

“You sound like a crazy person,” you jerked your head to the side, eyes landing on your grandmother.

You huffed, eyes narrowing as you sniffled and wiped another tear that had fallen. “You’re one to talk.”

Your grandmother shifted, as if uncomfortable, and then she moved forward, more brittle than you had noticed the first time. “I’m not going to sit down,” she said after a moment, “don’t let my looks full you, I’m not how I once was.” She grunted as she stood beside you.

“Yeah, well, your looks aren’t fooling anyone, so.”

“Ouch,” she laughed, but it sounded like a wenches cackle. “Oh nipotina*,” she clicked her tongue and shook her head, a complacent smile making its way onto her wrinkled face.

You sat in silence, comfortable or not, you were glad she had stopped talking, you didn’t know what to say to her. In your opinion, you had never really gotten along with your grandmother, this wasn’t reconnecting with your parents or sisters or even your zia* and zio*, this was…new territory altogether.

You frowned, “listen, child,” and you did, you perked up, you could listen to her talk, that would be easy, you just hoped she didn't expect a response. “Your grandfather loved you, he never stopped talking about you.” You smiled, but then it faltered. You had abandoned him, hadn’t even deigned to visit because of how guilty you’d felt…

“He knew,” you whispered, heart racing. 

You heard your grandmother sigh. “I thought as much,” she frowned, staring at her husband's grave as if she could bring him back by will alone. 

“You did?” You hadn’t left without saying goodbye, not to him at least, that was one thing everyone had gotten wrong, your grandmother knowing had never occurred to you because you were sure your grandfather kept it a secret. Why else would the entire family have blown up when they’d realized you had left? When they’d realized it was too late to stop or convince you otherwise–because by the time everyone else had found out, you were halfway across the North Atlantic already.

“I always thought it was strange how he never said anything about it.” A grim smile tugged her at her red-painted lips.

“Nonna*, did I make the right decision?” You asked, surprising even yourself.

She sighed and you thought she might say ‘I can’t tell you if it was right or wrong’ or something a normal grandmother would say, but your grandmother wasn’t normal, she was an old bat, probably the same one you’d turn into at her age and she said, “You’re damned right you were wrong.”

Your mouth dropped, taken aback, and then you burst into laughter, throwing your head back as you tried wiping your tears, “oh you’re such an old bat,” you sighed.

“I knew you always called me that behind my back,” she harumphed, jerking her head away and crossing her arms like a child.

“Oh come now, Nonna*,” you stood and reached out the touch her shoulder.

She huffed and dropped her arms, eyes darting around your face in what seemed to be concern. “You were wrong for not telling the rest of us, you had your parents worried sick, and your sister too.” Her frown deepened, “even me.”

You nodded, “I know, but nonna*,” you sighed, wanting to explain yourself, but she held up a hand. You raised a brow, almost saying huh, so that’s where I get it from, out loud.

“Your grandfather always said you were meant for something greater, that your heart wouldn’t allow you to stay in this town the way ours allowed the rest of us.

“No, no nipotina*, you were not wrong for leaving. This town, this family? Yes, you come from here, but there,” she nodded her head toward your co-workers, (or friends, you were honestly still deciding), “with them, that is where you belong now.”

You smiled, finding acceptance in her answer.

“And your friend,” she rolled her eyes when she said it, “well, I expect the wedding to be here.”

You huffed a laugh before turning, catching Specner’s eye, and when he waved your heart swelled. “We’ll see,” you started walking away.

Your grandmother trailed after you, throwing her hands up and shouting, “incovalato*! You insolent child!”

a/n: ahhh i can't wait to write my next fic because i already know waht it is. i don't want to give spoilers, but just know you're going to see dad!spencer !!

@darkmatilda @theylovemelody

[cat-webp]

etiquette for using & crediting art

right, well, I'll get straight to it instead of messing about like in my other tutorials. editblr has a serious problem with people not crediting artists, we all know that, I don't need to talk much about it. but I figured instead of just making one of those posts, I'd make one explaining the etiquette for such things and how you can appropriately use fanart in your edits. oh, and also what could happen if you refuse to offer those credits

contents table:

stop letting them use your shit to train ai models

why credit is important, and what lack of credit could potentially do to your account

how to source your fanart

how to differentiate fanart from official art

how to find credits for art blatantly stolen and reuploaded to pinterest when all the caption says is "credit to the artist!"

knowing and understanding artist boundaries

how to give appropriate credit

alright, cool, let's talk about it

— stop letting them use your shit to train ai models

if you've been on tumblr for a bit, or have just gone through the general settings, you'll probably have noticed that in the visibility tab there's this not-so-fun setting automatically turned off:

yeah. that's fun, isn't it? since you're using fanart, and most artists don't support nor engage with ai, it's basic respect to opt out of such a thing.

settings -> visibility -> bottom option

— why credit is important, and what lack of credit could potentially do to your account

I feel I shouldn't necessarily have to explain why credit is important, but I will anyway. in the plainest terms, they made it, it's theirs, so credit them. it's a simple concept, no? hm, but I know that doesn't sound important to some people, so imagine if someone stole your edits and reuploaded them onto their own blog, but in the caption all it says is "idk who made this originally, sorry" or "credits to artist".. I bet you'd feel pretty pissed off about it, right? your hard work being stolen by someone you've never heard of, who didn't even bother putting in the effort to search for you.

another thing: credit is still important when they're a figurehead in the community you're editing for. yes, their artstyle may be familiar to you and the others in your fandom, but to an outsider it's just another piece of fanart that remains uncredited.

if you use art that doesn't belong to you, and the original artist finds it and doesn't want you using it, you could face a takedown. of course, most artists are kind and would send you a polite notice first, but there's always that chance they could send over a takedown request to your post and therefore your blog with zero warning. three of those, your blog gets deleted. they're incredibly easy to send off, and afaik tumblr gets to them pretty quickly.

oh, and also people typically don't look favourably on those who can't be bothered to credit artists, so you'll end up losing connections with other editors as well, if you care about that.

— how to source your fanart

stay away from pinterest. I cannot stress this enough, I understand that pinterest is by far one of the easiest platforms to find fantastic art on, but having proper credits is more important than the 5 minutes of time shaved off by stealing a reupload.

twitter, instagram, tumblr, pixiv, and deviantart are all good places to search. though, do make sure to check for ai on deviantart especially, it's like a rat infestation over there.

— how to differentiate fanart from official art

fandom wiki. I know, we all hate fandom wiki, but whether your media is popular or unpopular it's likely to have a fandom wiki dedicated to it, and people will archive all official art there. if you're unsure, cross-examine the potential fanart piece with the archive.

if you hate fandom wiki that badly, there's also archival accounts scattered across different platforms, so you can use those.

if the art is official, then for company-ran medias it's normally okay to just add "all art is official" or leave it uncredited; though that's also somewhat of a dick move. but for smaller things like web-comics and games that aren't hosted on any big site, and have no huge monetary support, it's nice to include the name of the artist and/or creator.

— how to find credits for art blatantly stolen and reuploaded to pinterest when all the caption says is "credit to the artist!"

reverse image search, that's my simplest answer. with chrome at least, it comes with a built-in reverse image searcher called google lens. it's normally highly efficient, so for most art pieces it'll pick up on the artist pretty quickly.

but what if it doesn't? what if it just links back to the original pinterest post instead? well, the weird thing about google lens in particular is that it initially retrieves one post it thinks it could originate from—probably the post with the most traffic going to it, but it then also features a "see exact matches" option underneath that first photo.

if you click it, it'll show you a whole lot more examples of the art being used.

normally, you can use that to figure out who made the art, since it'll show you similarly popular recorded instances. however, there are also times when even that fails to grab a source, and you're left only with confusing results. what do you do then?

well, you can either resort to clicking on random sites until you find a username, or you can give up and find a different piece of art to use. it's really just a process of rinse and repeat until you find something usable.

— knowing and understanding artist boundaries

artist boundaries are typically easy to see and simple to understand. they're normally just in the bios of the artists, which is super helpful. however, sometimes they're kept within links placed on the accounts instead. if you can't immediately see a list of boundaries, then instead start looking for (typically) a link to one of these sites:

carrd

rentry

strawpage

lit.link

skeb (though skeb can sometimes block itself if you have parental controls on, so be aware of this)

scour through them, and you should get an understanding.

right, and for artists who have bios in foreign languages; just translate it, it's not as if google translate or deepl are impossible to use. not knowing the language isn't an excuse anymore.

however, if they still don't have one available, you might have to start searching keywords on their accounts. of course, such things aren't really possible on da or instagram, but on tumblr and twitter, search up these keywords before giving up on an art piece:

credit

pfp / icon / profile picture

use

your art

on tumblr especially, most asks are tagged with something or other, so you can scroll through and check to see if there's anything there too.

and if there's still nothing.. well, just ask the artist about it. if you don't want to do that, then it's not a good idea to use it, and it's back to the drawing board for you.

— how to give appropriate credit

by including "art credit - (username)" in the description, ordinarily. however, you should note that most people who use rentry graphics don't care for art credits, and won't include them if they're using said graphics. so, that's why you put a watermark on it, so it's basically like forcing credit to be given. it doesn't have to be anything big or flashy, but it does need to be readable, so simple fonts work well.

oh, and ideally there should be a direct link back to the art piece, so if people want to use it also they don't have to scroll through someone's entire account trying to find it.

anyway, hope that helped somewhat. if it didn't, then pop into my askbox and I'll explain things further.

[rulerzreachf4n7]

Normalize NOT HEADCANONNING older characters/parental or mentor figure AS FUCKING PEDOPHILES HOLY SHIT I WILL CRAP MY PANTS IF I SEE SOMEONE DO THIS WITH BELOS FROM OWL HOUSE OR WILLIAM AFTON FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME

Like sure, Belos probably abused the hell and manipulated the shit out of Hunter and previous golden guards, BUT THE MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T TOUCH HUNTER WHAT IS YOU ON??? like even if the person who makes the hc is someone who was SAd/r@ped before that's really not a valid reason and that could LITERALLY COUNTS AS PROSHIP...

Like there's this toh tumblr artist I LOOOOOOVE sm (not gonna name drop cause they didnt do thing im talkin about again I think idk) and I saw one of their posts a few months ago and was like abt Willow n Hunter and like it was abt Hunter revealing how he r@ped by Belos when he was like a fuckin kid and I was just in UTTER FUCKING SHOCK, they never had made this type of content from when I first started following them and they had never posted something like that again... Idk

For William afton...HE MURDERED KIDS HE DIDN'T FUCK THEM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? like it literally canon that WILLIAM LOVED HIS CHILDREN he was fucking devastated when Evan and Elizabeth died, TF DO YOU THINK SISTER LOCATION CAME OUT FOR?? READ THE DAMN LORE YOU IDIOT

This is really more for Belos cause I have a burning rage when people headcanon that he's a rapist/SAer and make Hunter as a victim, like please keep those hcs to urself that could VERY EASILY trigger someone and could come off as possibly offensive since most hcs similar to that are not represented well/not even important to the plot of media, maybe even could count as a fetish...

[the-moon-files]

YESSSSS I BEG GET INTO THE CULTURAL DIDFERENCES BETWEEN HYLIANS AND HUMANS 🙏🙏

...now ur just sweet talking me 🥰 /lh

Not years, well maybe 1 year-

but i have wanted to ramble desperately to smone, even the tumblr void if i had to, abt humans vs. hylians so much, esp with a guide reader or male reader bc whatdya know im into niche stuff that only u and like 2 other ppl like lmao ¯\(ツ)/¯

Anyway im so shocked, since ur like the third person to be interested in this and wanna hear abt it 🥺 🤲💌 here u go!! Hope u like it <333 👉👈

Sun: Masc!Reader (he/him)

Orbit: Humans are Not Hylians/Humans are Space Orcs AU, Headcanons-ish, long overall but each section is kinda short

Stars: Mostly worldbuilding! you've been warned, don't get mad me for not talking abt the boys too much✌️

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cursing, mentions of private area/joke in the clothing headcanons, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

just some quick headcanons bc tbh i haven't given it too much thought, and i feel like I've been able to somewhat get into it in other posts? or maybe im thinking of stuff i have in my drafts idk-

Imma make another list, so buckle up for the short ride lol

Courting periods/dating/marriage

individual/small groups society-based hylians v. large personal groups/large community society-based humans

simpler foods hylians v. complex food humans

clothing modesty/style/relationships with fashion

fighting styles/strategies

entertainment complexity/differences

and language

☆

1st one, not much yet, im also making a separate post bc someone else asked me to talk abt that more 🥺

(tysm for all the enthusiastic asks guys <33)

anyway, basically hylian courting is a lot shorter, think “lesbians with the uhaul” type of energy, like sort of the classical medieval “does thee wish to pursue marriage with this one?” ← how hylians ask u out for the first time lmao

if it helps, they do tend to get to know one another well, talking about morals/kids/life goals/preferred lifestyle/house/etc. pretty clearly and quickly, then using the in between time to sort of stew on that information

id say the total time is sort of something like 6 months? maybe 3/4 if they're really compatible

(so bc i love interpreting video game logic for real world building, I actually blame this on how fast Zelda/link get together in games despite having sometimes never met before that moment lol)

like i said, ill be posting about this later

2nd one!!

pretty basic, just saying we don't really see hylians in big groups, despite the organizations they form, like kingdoms/knights or on a more personal level, towns/families/etc.

(once again, in-game appearances/video game logic translated to real life to draw these conclusions)

like not only are family units pretty small, like nuclear family setup, with like 2 parents and 2 kids, or single parent 1 kid type of situation, but the towns or collections of these families arent very big either

hylians kind of use their government the way it was intended lmao?

like the villages and towns matter more for everyday decisions than the kingdom/royalty, like Zelda would esstientally just be the mayor of Castle Town for those constant decisions,

while occasionally is called on to make decisions like for several towns or like is a natural disaster happens

meanwhile humans are, in comparison, in Way Bigger groups, both on an organization scale, and a personal scale

like u have all these specific branches of government, whereas im sure the population difference doesn't help,

and on a personal level, humans can easily have like multiple parents, lots of siblings, and once u combine that with each parent having family too, and those families like to meet up? All together??

yeah, itd look insane to any hylians (who’s smaller extended family may just make up their own village and that's it)

3. I've touched on this

like the use of spices, syrups, seasonings, etc

but also the complexity of dishes too, like chilling cream and mixing it for awhile to make ice cream, or even just getting ordering a pizza,

that's a lot of processing, like making the dough from flour and other ingredients, to letting it rise, to making the tomato paste, making cheese, then combining those things with any other toppings, all into one dish??

i like to think that hylians have only just started to touch on actual complicated cooking processes (as in BOTW, where they sell flour and salt, so people besides Link/Wild must know what to do with it)

this has the advantage of impressing any hylian with what a “creative genius” you are lol

4. look im just a fan of medieval time periods Links

so i think its funny if the hylians are used to like 4/3 layers and ur over here like, “wym, if i take off my shirt there's nothing underneath?”

one of them gets bold enough to ask, “d-do you not. do you not have undergarments??”

you “just my boxers? like just to cover my di-”

also this makes its easy to seduce people here? LMAO

clothes are def higher quality, after all there's not as many artificial processes or materials interfering,

plus u usually get some sick embroidery on it too!!

5. so like i get it, Link is the main fighter in games

but like, the few times there is a war/army in loz games, there's rlly not a lot of strategy, beyond just finding the enemy and fighting

tho im partial to that hylians/most inhabitants of Hyrule abide by the “lets meet up either literally by inviting each other or just between our territories to fight”

with occasional guerilla warfare (by any means necessary/stealth/ambush attacks/strategy) that's only rlly used either by Demise/Ganon, or by the wilder individuals/races in games

or maybe even the more civilized fighters in an emergency

and so that means by this logic that all of the Chain use kind of wild techniques compared to their race/kingdom lmao

id imagine its not too surprising to also see “every fight is a bar fight if its for my life” from individual travelers, so im sure they're not viewed too crazy (esp when ppl know their the hero that constantly has to deal with guerilla warfare from Ganon)

but its be hilarious to watch the reactions of both the Links realizing they’re in a bigger group that should be using “proper” fighting strategies and seeing the general publics reaction to this absolutely feral, armed to the teeth, trained hylians with their equally wild human lol

LMAO everyone thinks ur the reason they started using the more brutal fighting methods bc ur human, ur a bad influence lol

(humans would use it primarily, esp after we converted to use that method in warfare a couple hundred years ago i think?)

changing course a bit, hylians tend to use weapons (to compensate for difference in strength compared to humans, and since they don't experience/get a lesser version of adrenaline)

while humans tend to equally rely on weapons and our body as a weapon (marital arts/basic self-defense)

6. this is mostly bc the hylians only rlly seem to have the basics of music, books/stories, theater, and art

i have, surprise surprise, another post abt how i think this came to be,

mostly based on how human curiosity is indomitable and insatiable and the endless force that has not yet met its immovable object.

or at least an immovable object they haven't at least poked a little, out of curiosity lol

like we went to space for that reason, we reach the most dangerous corners of our planet (deep underwater/volcanoes) out of sheer curiousity/for the sake of simple knowledge of the thing

so needless to say, curiosity can absolutely drive any field to its limits, including the arts, which is why we can have stained glass, or movies/tv shows, hell, the marvel that is Hatsune Miku lmao

(fully for entertainment, a projection of light and sound, what is essentially magical illusions but u did it hte hard way, to the hylians)

on a different entertainment related note, i don't know if the hylians would be super into sports, or not really at all? mostly bc they have to use their fighting/training against real threats, not the sort of “fake” threats that sports are

but on the other hand i could see people like knights wanting to use their abilities for something other than violence and fighting bc their life or their villages lives depended on it

bet the Links would enjoy it for those reasons especially, what with at least sumo wrestling being a sport or activity for them at some point in history, and practically beg u for any new games to play, or to ref their games, bc whewwww

im sure they could get pretty competitive lol

7. obviously, their mostly influenced by the Japanese language

id almost like to imagine a sort of, if not outright Japanese (like with earlier heroes like Sky) then a sort of English-Japanese hybrid further along the line

sort of like how English has German/Greek/Latin roots and therefore u can see what words or structure comes from where, or even how u can understand a fair amount of basic words when other languages share the same roots (english, pants = spanish, pantalones)

would make for some funny miscommunications

or even better, most hylians liking ur unique accent or the Links love to hear u talk bc of it lol

☆

well the fever has broken, i am now free of the sickness that made me hack this up geez

i hope u got some enjoyment out of these my beloved anon!! esp since u were so nice as to ask abt it <33

hope u guys have a great weekend, look out for some more posts, bc its been great to get some more asks in lately and very motivating,

not to mention i actually have time to write now that my siblings graduated/we’ve moved several states over 💀

so i have reliable internet now too! sheesh :’)

Peace out,

🌙

[mona-prithey]

YEAR END MUTUALS APPRECIATION POSTTTT

Soo the year is ending, but a new one is also beginning and therefore it is very much required for me to appreciate the moots in my Tumblr life.

Tho first and foremost the man himself has to be appreciated so KANHA U CUTU THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE COURAGE TO INTERACT AND BE ON THIS BEAUTIFUL SITE TO MEET PEOPLE WITH EQUALLY BEAUTIFUL SOULS. *KISSES FOR THE CUTU*

Now for my moots,

@seedhe-pahad-se girl you are my second follower here and you are appreciated for being a very relatable desi girll and i love your posts like thanks for those posts they make my dayy.

@krishnaaradhika for me you are one of the few blogs that made me love kanha even more than i did and i love your blog for just how much of kanha i find there oh love your mood boards

@chaliyaaa i love your moodboards but gurll WHERE ARE YOUR OC MOOD BOARDDDD i wanted to see themmmm also i love everything you post and when i see your post im like CHALIYAAAA IS HEREEEE

@ssj2hindudude love your Aru Shah incorrect quotes tho i have yet to read much about them, but i love your writing soo writeeee

@itsmeljoana idk much about you but i loveee how cute your posts and reblogs areee especially Sailor Moon onesss

@s-3lliot you are also a blog idk much about but I JUST LOVE YOU VIBESSS its comforting

@fastenyourseatbelts YOUR BLOG IS CHAOTIC AND I LOVE ITTTT AND SINCE YOU ARE @ranijaisichaal LOVE THAT BLOG OF YOURS AS WELL

@aahanna RELATABLE AND AESTHETIC IS WHAT YOUR BLOG IS TO MEE

@braj-raj YOU WRITINGGGSSS OOOOF ME LOVE THEMMMM MUAH

@tum-naam-sochlo-merese-ni-hora GURL YOUR ART BUTIFULL CHEFS KISSSSSSSSSS MUAHH

@sumiyxx SONIIIII CUTUUU BABBBYYYY MY RELATABLE CHELLLIII CUTUUU

@yeh-mera-deewanapan-hai YOU GIVE ME COOL VIBES LETS BE FRIENDSS PLSSS

@randomx123 YOU ARE THE SWEETEST BOII LIKE EVERY TIME I TAG YOU, YOU REPLYYY THANK YOUUU

@archpoet77 YOUR BLOG MAKES ME HAPPY LIKE HAPPY HAPPY SO THANKS

@shinchansbitch got to know of you through the daddymon thing that happened and also of your interactions with cake ME LIKE YOUR BLOG

@maintohoonpagal your blog is very pleasing to my eyes aur kabhi likhna mat chodhna

@delulululu-majnu MY INTROVERT SOUL LOVES YOUR BLOG

@syamakrishna YOU ARE THE SWEETEST AND HAVE A VERY BEAUUTIFUL SOUL AND IT IS A JOY TO LEARN FROM YOU

@groovycynicalcheesecake THE MOST CHAOTIC INDIVIDUAL ON THIS APP LIKE GURL SPAMM IS OK BUT WHY DO YOU DO IT AT SUCH AN UNGODLY HOUR THO I STILL APPRICIATE IT SO DONT STOPPP AND SLEPP WELL U IDIOTTT CAKEE

@kanha-ki-fangirl VIII I AM SOO PROUD OF YOU FOR EXISTING AND BEING MY MOOT LIKE THANK YOUUU SOO MUCHH

@shubhadeep385 YOU CAN DO ITT context pata hai toh theek nahi pata hai toh puch na mat

@maraudersbitchesassemble your bolg is fun and i like it ☺️

@mi-stress-of-chaos JUST AS YOUR NAME YOU ARE CHAOS AND I LOVE ITTT KEEP IT UPPPP

@zeherili-ankhein GOT TO KNOW YOU FROM NAVARATRI POSTS YOU MADE AND STAYED FOR THE REST OF YOUR BLOG AND LOVE YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH @h0bg0blin-meat AND @randomx123 ANDDD LOVE YOUR DRAWINGSSSS

@krishna-priyatama hii ummm soo idk much abt you but ill get to know you and make a better appreciation post next yearrrrr

@lalenn LIAAAA MY CO-GIRLFRIEND (its an inside joke dont ask) WHO KNEW I WOULD MEET SOMEONE LIKE YOU I THANK KANHA SOO MUCH BECAUSE HE LED US TOO MEET I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU IRLL

@ishaaron-ishaaron-me FINNALLY I CAN TAGG YOU HERE, MOST OF THE TIME I COULD NOT BUT THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME KANHA'S PICSS THE DAY YOU DID IT MADE ME SOO HAPPYY

@mausamii GURL YOUR MOOOD BOARDSS ARE SOOO PRETTYYYY LIKE SOOO PRETTYYYYY AND THANK YOUUU

@saanjh-ki-dulhan LOVE YOUR WRITINGSSS AND THANKS FOR THE RECENT POST YOU WROTEEE LIKEEE OOOOF MY HEART I CANT TELL YOU I AM YOUR FANNN ME FANNNN

Ok now I am concluding my appreciation post, just in case i did forget about one of my moots pls do let me know and yeah

LOVE YOU GUYS

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part One)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️) also pls excuse my grammar.

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. The beginning takes place when Jason is still Robin but he’s no longer apart of the titans. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad)

Part One: Back To The Tower

“Babe? Babe!” You opened your eyes at the sound of Jason’s voice. His green eyes normally looked at you with gentleness but currently they were alarmed. Scared and scary are two things Jason normally does a good job at keeping separate, but when someone threatens his whole world the two merge to create someone dangerous to everyone, including himself.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” You asked.

“We’ve got to go, Dick called… he thinks joker is after me for some reason…I’ll explain more on our way to the tower.” Jason quickly grabbed the go bags you two had made in case something like this were to happen. He used to think having go bags was you two being paranoid but you always knew dating a vigilante would have its ups and downs.

You knew he was serious when he walked straight past his bike and headed to your car instead “Jason, slow down,” you said as he swerved around cars. He knew you hated speeding and he so he never dared do it, also because he liked not dying in a car crash.

“I’m sorry, so you know how joker has been leaving notes around Gotham?” He asks as he drives a bit slower.

“Yeah why?” You answer quickly.

“Dick called me two hours ago and said they think they’re threatens to Robin, threats to me.”

“Shit, what does joker even want with you?”

“I have no idea maybe I’m a pawn in some game he’s got going with Bruce or Dick or the titans or maybe he’s just decided I’m the next victim in his reign of fucking torment,” Jason’s voice shook slightly. You could tell he was trying to keep it together while driving; trying to keep it together infront of you. You two had been through so much together: he’d been the one you turned to when you left home, you two had been apart of titans together, he’d rescued you from poison ivy once, you talked him off the roof of the tower. You two knew each other better than you knew yourselves. Even after everything he still had a hard time voicing his emotions and honestly you did too.

“Why’d you change the fucking password asshole,” Jason said to Dick through the security camera at titans tower.

“More importantly why’d he change it and not tell us?” You said. Jason’s arm was around you, his leather jacket was a familiar feeling against your skin.

The tower brought back many memories for both you and Jason. You remembered painting your nails with Rachel while Gar and Jason tried not to burn down the kitchen. Late nights when you’d find Kori or Donna and ask for their advice when you first noticed yourself falling for Jason. They thought you were crazy of course but it all worked out, so far anyway. You remembered the first time you’d been to the tower when Dick took you in. Dick introduced you to the titans but it was Jason, who you only knew as Robin at the time, who saved your life and called Dick. Another memory you unfortunately recalled was the time after you guys got Jason back from Deathstroke. You hadn’t known pain till you saw the way he winced at the slightest touch or loud noise. Then there was his fall…your mind refocused when you saw Dick.

“Hey lovebirds,” he said with a grin.

“So what do these messages say exactly,” you said.

“Always so serious,” Dick says. You simply glare at him and he stops messing around. “Right so over the past few days there have been notes around Gotham in seemingly random places, each one is just some nonsense about circuses and birds so naturally it’s about Robin. They talk about the flying boy and encounters him and I have had he then goes on to talk about me becoming nightwing. The rest is disturbing stuff about him “wanting to pick off the feathers of the new little bird to reveal the horror inside”,”.

“Right…so seemingly random places?” Jason says.

“Yeah so, the first was found spraypainted on the stage of a highschool in Gotham, the next was spray painted on a random wall in an alley and the third was on the door of this bar…” Dick said.

“Shit,” Jason said.

“The highschool and the alley,” you said softly to Jason.

“And the bar… it’s the one my uncle took me to,”

“Someone wanna explain the significance to me,” Dick said.

“They’re places from my past,” Jason said. “The highschool I lived in, the alley I boosted the Batmobile in and the bar my uncle took me to.” You all simply stared at eachother waiting for someone to break the silence when Rachel, Gar and Kori came rushing in.

“Oh my God what are you doing here?” Rachel asked pulling you in for a hug.

“Wish I could say just to see you,” you say.

“Hey man what’s the special occasion?” Gar asks Jason.

“Unfortunately the occasion is another psycho trying to kill me,” Jason replied.

“Wait is that true? Dick is this about the joker?” Rachel asks. Dick looks at Jason who nods.

“Yes, we think joker knows Jason is the new Robin and is threatening him,” Dick says.

“No offense but isn’t this more Batman’s territory?” Kori says.

“Normally yes but he’s off doing Justice League bullshit,” Dick says.

Everyone gets comfortable and Dick explains what we know.

“So we know the notes reference Dick, Bruce and Jason but I think there’s a fourth person here,” Kori says.

“Is joker just referencing himself?” Gar says.

“I don’t think so cause…” Jason stops himself.

“Cause what?” You ask him. He doesn’t answer.

“Jason what is it what’d you find” Dick asks. Jason simply gets up and starts to walk away. Naturally you get up and begin walking after him.

Dick grabs your arm, you glare at him and he lets go, “hey let me go see what’s up just keep picking apart the notes with the others.” It was the Dick you knew, loved, and were annoyed by. The camp counselor anything is possible with teamwork Dick Grayson, the version of him which would soon have to step aside.

“Jason!” Dick says when he finds Jason in his old room which looks exactly the same. Jason doesn’t reply he simply grabs a bag and starts packing. “Going somewhere?” Dick says. Jason still doesn’t reply. “Hey, what the fuck!”

“You aren’t stupid Dick you read the fucking note,” Jason says.

“Maybe I am stupid cause I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jokers not threatening me, he’s challenging me…telling me to meet him. And he’s threatening y/n saying what he’ll do if I don’t go find him.” Jason says.

“Shit,” Dick says. “Okay but all you’re going to accomplish by going by yourself is pissing me off, getting your shit rocked by joker, pissing Bruce off, and scaring your girlfriend to death all of which I’m gonna have to fix so could you not be impulsive for once!”

“You don’t think she’s already scared!” Jason says.

“Yeah I do but I think you’ll make it worse if you leave her here,”

“She’d be safer here far away from Gotham and far away from me,” Jason says.

“Hey dipshits,” Kori says as she turns the corner. “Yeah I can read too,” she also seemed to have figured out the note “So why don’t you I don’t know, include her in the conversation about what to do about the threats that are against her?”

The three of them return to see you, Gar and Rachel sitting in silence, it was clear you guys had also figured out the full message. Jason doesn’t get a chance to even fully enter the room before you get up and pull him back into his old room.

“What were you thinking not telling me?” You say.

“You didn’t sign up for this shit,” Jason says.

“I did, and I don’t just mean with you I joined titans before I even knew your name.”

Jason hesitates before saying, “you’re right, I’m sorry”

“Apology accepted so what the hell are we gonna do,” you say slipping out of your serious tone.

“First question, do you wanna go out there and work with everyone or just keep this between us,” Jason says.

“What do you wanna do?” You asked. It was clear you wanted to include the titans in the plan. You knew Jason has a complicated past with everyone in the other room but you also knew despite his own feelings he’d do whatever would keep you the safest. He hugs you softly, one last act of humanity before completely focusing on being Robin. You and Jason were fairly new to the world of having a secret identity. You both tried to keep the two personas completely separate but at the end of the day the person under the mask always has the final say when hard decisions need to be made.

The plan everyone agreed on was simple. You’d stay at the tower, with Gar and Rachel far away from Gotham and the joker. Tomorrow morning Jason, Dick and Kori would drive to Gotham and work with Barbra to catch joker. If only that were actually how it went.

You’d fallen asleep in your old room with Jason by your side, around three am you woke up and he was no where to be found. “Jason?” You said as you looked around the room. The light was already on so you could see perfectly that he was gone. Jason must’ve turned the light on when he left, he knows you hate being in the dark alone after what you went through with Poison Ivy. “Dick!” You yelled as you ran down the hall to Dick’s room. To your surprise Dick was wide awake busy on his computer.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Dick said concerned.

“Jason’s gone.” You said.

“Fucking idiot,” Dick mumbled under his breath. He began typing quickly on his computer. “He got rid of his tracker didn’t he?”

“He cut it out ages ago,” you said frantically. Jason had vanished but both you and Dick knew exactly where he was going; he was going to face Joker alone in Gotham.

Please like if you enjoyed the fic I need to know people like it otherwise I’ll stop posting new parts (I have a whole storyline idea and backstory so like if you want to see more)🩷

Here’s my Masterlist so you can read the other parts.

Masterlist

[pandalexoxo]

OKAY BEAR WITH ME Y’ALL. I HAVEN’T PLAYED THE GAME SO I’M JUST GOING OFF OF SOME TIRED OLD MAN TROPES.

FRANCIS MOSES x READER

also, i haven’t written down any of my rules, but i don’t have any limits! i’ll write whatever requests people send me! whatever your dark mind can think of will be my pleasure to create!

i don’t mind if you’re not 18+, since, if i ever do make smut i’ll just label it as 18+ and TRUST that 18+ ONLY will read. you all have probably seen, but i’ve just written about my thoughts of different fandoms so far so there’s no 18+ posts YET. (maybe i’ll make this account SFW and do another for NSFW? idk, i normally post on other platforms but randomly decided to give tumblr a try lol)

as a NM/trans man myself, i TRY to keep my readers gender neutral by not really describing the characters features. hard on TRY bc i know the last blurb fic i made of dead plate was Rody x Male Reader lol, oopsies! anywhooo, enjoy~!

WARNINGS! doppleganger mention, possible unconsciousness, possible death, possible unfunny dialogue (bc sometimes i’m the only one who finds me hilarious lmfao), you’re kinda a baddie ngl, you and Francis are besties, Francis is a cat lover?! Francis is a tired old man who hates technology. phone mentioned despite the first wireless phone being made 23 years after the story takes place (use your imagination) uhhh, anything else i forget? comment below!

Francis let out a long sigh of relief, taking his cap off with one hand, using the other to dab away at his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. Upon seeing the exhausted man, you can’t help but smile softly, shaking your head as you get ready to scold him, once again. You cross your arms, looking at him through the window with a playful disappointed glare.

“mhm mhm, what do we have here? you really should be getting more sleep, mr. milkman, your eyes are starting to sport their own eye bags.”

with this comment, Francis shakes his head but is unable to stop the small, yet tired smile on his face. he bends down to place the crate of milk jugs onto the floor before handing over his ID card. you hum, narrowing your eyes when Francis doesn’t give into your whims. you eye his card, glancing at it a few times before slipping it back to him with a chuckle.

Francis’s eyebrow raises in confusion at your reaction but ends up shaking his head, rolling his eyes playfully and sighing softly. he places his cap back on his head and huffs, deeming your reaction as a go ahead inside.

“now… what if i was a doppelganger? you aren’t even going to call my room to check if someone is there? such a reliable doorman we have.”

despite Francis’s playful tone, your grin slips into a frown as you study Francis from behind the glass. this causes him to tense up, suddenly feeling nervous, like he did something wrong. you hum, tilting your head into your palm as you seemingly analyze Francis for a little while before deciding to speak.

“what’s up brother?”

Francis blinks a few times in surprise, his head tilting in confusion at your question. His eyes narrow as he thinks about the question you asked.

“what’s… up… brother…?”

Francis looks up at the ceiling, taking your question to heart. upon seeing nothing on the ceiling, Francis can only shake his head and sigh at your antics.

“are you done with your tomfoolery, (Y/n)? i’m quite exhausted and would like to go up to my room and rest.”

you can only shake your head, clasping your hands together like a disappointed father getting ready to discuss their kids grades at the dinner table. you begin to explain.

“when Francis first walks in here, he always forgets one of three things… his keys, his hat or the crate of milk. you came in here, although exhausted, you seemed put together, unlike Francis, who is clearly going through a midlife crisis. Francis will then ask me about my cat, well, because he’s a cat person, though he insists no one knows. oh, and, Francis’s home phone has been broken for the past few days and is actually at the store, right now. so, Francis being here so soon, isn’t possible. that, and well, Francis never understands my references, but indulges me anyway… anything else i forgot, doppelganger?”

you bat your eyelashes, smirking from behind the window like you just cracked down the traitor in your group. with each statement, Francis’s doppelgänger’s face becomes visibly more and more angry until the doppelganger begins to completely change: black eyes with white pupils, a wide and eerie black mouth, adorned with long and sharp claws on the end of the doppleganger’s elongated limbs.

“you… you’ll regret this… i will get in one day and get my feast, starting with you. i’ll gut you, keep you alive so you can watch your organs fall out of your body and your blood splatter against-! *CLANK! BAM! PLINK!*”

before the doppelganger could finish his fantasy, much to your amusement, the doppleganger’s body tenses upon being struck before crumpling to the floor after becoming unconscious. you look up from the doppleganger’s body to see the real Francis hovering above the, possibly dead, doppelganger. you shrug, knowing that you wouldn’t have to call DDD services to take care of the mess, now you just have to clean up the body.

“mmm… tuesday… tuesday…? did i get that right?”

you hold back a chuckle at Francis’s response to your last question. you can only nod, letting Francis have the win this time. pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing, a loud laugh bubbles up from your throat as the two of you realized what Francis had hit the doppelganger with.

“ngh… i just bought this phone… damnit… his hard head must have broke it, ah, if i bring it back could i get a… refund…?”

[pawberri]

thank you for all the posts you've made, your takes are always so refreshing to hear.

I want to know your thoughts (if it's okay with you, you can also totally ignore this) about all the "men hate" I see online. like I (poc transmasc non-passing) get it, there are genuine societal gender problems. transmisogyny does exist-women face more challenges than men do. but it genuinely hurts when women, especially trans women, think it's funny/quirky to call men trash or say they want all men dead or whatever. idk I just am hoping someone else understands, you know?

There's a lot of nuances to this question. First, I just want to caution against focusing too much on trans girls as the perpetrators of this. A lot of the asks I get from trans men seem to really fixate on trans women as the perpetrators of hard line gender essentialism. I really think trans girls are not the main people we should be focusing on here. If a trans woman is saying this stuff, take the time to analyze her ideology outside of that pithy comment and consider how much trauma and how little power she has in the world. That said, trans women are affected by this kind of ideology just like us, and they rarely have the power to wield it against others in the way cis people can. I know it hurts to feel isolated by your own community, but that kinda gets into my second point.

Part of dealing with this is learning an impulse progressive cishet dude have had to get used to over the decade. Sometimes, "men are trash" or even "kill all men" are not literal phrases. They are things women say when they're in the throes of trauma to vent their frustration. "Men are trash" in particular is generally pretty lighthearted and used to complain when you have a bad date or something. You have to get used to analyzing what someone actually means and airing on the side of empathy. You, as a man, are the one with some amount of systemic power over that woman, so you are the one who needs to prove you are dedicated to not being a misogynist. The same thing happens when my friends say they hate white people. I have to assume they don't hate me given that I'm their friend, but that I still have some of the negative traits of whiteness. I need to care enough to be a good friend by being anti-racist and checking myself on my behavior. I need to be willing to prioritize their comfort over mine. That includes not becoming this meme:

Now that that's established, there ARE times when "all men are evil and should die" is an actual ideology. It's an ideology that hurts tons of minority groups before it hurts the most powerful, but it's also not really great if we assume it only hurts cishet white guys. Following it to its logical conclusion, it just proposes a reversal of oppression dynamics. This gender essentialism is a key part of radical feminism, trans exclusionary or not, but it leaks out of that community to general feminism all the time.

As a young person on Tumblr and Twitter, this deeply affected me. I internalized the idea that you can "just be a girl." It was repeated by some trans girls, but also a LOT of TME people. It was framed as trans inclusive, but it's trans inclusive in the way "political lesbianism" is lesbian positive. It posits gender as a moral choice that is completely up to the individual and unrelated to biology. It's the lazy version of "gender is a social construct." I felt sick and disgusting for wanting to be a boy because tons of well-meaning friends of mine had made it clear that "being a boy" was a choice, and it was the wrong one. "Boy" was a social category that could and should eventually be eradicated. Trans women were conditionally supported because they, in theory, made this future possible. This didn't amount to actual support, of course. It was an ideology mostly spread by afab queer people that mostly benefited afab queer people. There were a few trans girls who spread it, maybe some due to genuinely believing in the ideology and some due to social pressure, but there were also a lot of people straight-up grifting as trans girls who used this thinking to feel powerful in a niche community of teens. Remember fucking Yandere Bitch Club???

At a certain point, I genuinely thought of being a man as an unambiguous moral failing, and I lashed out at out trans men because of it. I wanted to feel powerful, and here was a type of man in my community I could shame and exclude. I still feel bad for making a bunch of ~girls only~ stuff in HS that excluded the one out trans dude at our school, my friend, because he was just a ~binary man~ and leaving him with no friends and no community. I treated transphobia like it wasn't a real oppression on its own and, in doing so, perpetuated transphobia. It happens a lot.

I wasn't really able to accept that there was nuance to the concept of manhood until I read this article while struggling to accept my own gender:

This is a pretty seminal piece of writing. It has its flaws, of course, but the empathy and intersectionality it highlights was life-changing. It also shows that this kind of thinking is largely perpetuated by TME people and hurts trans women greatly.

Gender essentialism is a bad ideology, it's a transphobic, transmisogynist, racist, etc etc ideology. It's literally essential to patriarchy. But it's also very easy to repackage into leftism and easy to dogwhistle. As a result, it's natural to be hesitant when you see someone saying they hate all men, but you have to tread extremely lightly and actually care what they're attempting to express. Because, yeah, men as a social class still hold power over women. They still have reason to fear and hate men.

I'm writing a comic about this stuff, actually, so look out for it in the future..........

[heartsfromia]

old habits die hard — k. yudai

pairing: non-idol! k x reader

word count: 3,727

genre: fluff, somewhat childhood friends to… lovers (?), college au but at a party (that isnt hosted by jackson wang)

warnings: profanities, mentions of alcohol, idk if this should be a warning but a bit of nichojoo

author's notes: my first andteam fic! recently got into them and have been smitten ever since (o^▽^o) also these fics will be a tumblr exclusive (unlike my svt fics) so they wont be posted anywhere else (now i have to figure out how to put this on my masterlist)

You hated parties.

Such a cliché statement, but it was true.

You absolutely despised parties, and all throughout your first year of college, you made it your life’s mission to avoid attending a single one (excluding mandatory parties that were held under collegial events, because for some reason, supervisors count your absents for those things). It was easy for the first semester since everyone was just getting to know each other, hosting a party so early in the year was only done by those older than you. There was nothing more akin to modern day torture than being holed up in a poorly lit living room with over a hundred intoxicated people, loud incessant music and sweaty body odor stinking up the already small space.

You always hated sweaty people and body odor, and unfortunately, parties were the Grand Central for them.

So the question might have come up: how did you find yourself at a party?

Simple: Nicholas Wang.

Your best friend, ride or die, and the bane of your existence because the universe had plagued the two of you with opposing personalities. Nicholas knows well enough that parties aren’t your thing and you were stubborn enough that he never tried to change your mind, but he enjoyed them. It was fun, he’s a social butterfly that thrives by interacting with others and he’d always limit himself to asking you to accompany him at least once a semester for a party.

It was the second semester to your second year, so he decided to use his chances now because of much more… important matters to deal with than just partying.

“It’s hosted by Mingyu, Y/N, you know? The guys that rented a whole-ass house for themselves?” You knew who he meant. Kim Mingyu and a bunch of his friends couldn’t find a place to stay once their time on campus dorms had ended, so they decided to find a fairly big house they could room up to ten people to rent. Not only was a huge steal because Mingyu was able to gather about eight other guys to join, but the landlord isn’t strict either, as long as the guys made sure nothing gets damaged (if they did, it was paid out of their own pockets) and to not get the police involved then they were free to do whatever they wanted.

“I don’t really care who is hosting it, Nico,” you mumbled, a resigned look on your face. “Isn’t it a bit early for you to use your pass? It’s barely two weeks into the semester.”

“Uh…” A blush coated his cheeks as he averted his eyes, only piquing your interest now. “So, the thing is… You know how I went skiing for break, I kind of met someone there—“

You sat up, eyes so wide that you worried they’d pop out. This was news; Nicholas, despite being a social butterfly, never was interested in anyone, no matter how many people tried to get closer—boy or girl. You couldn’t help the wide smile that pulled at your lips. “Oh my gosh! That’s awesome! Who are they?” He had always expressed his sexuality as something he never wanted to label, he only knew that if he had romantic feelings for someone, he never really cared for who they were.

“It’s Byun Euijoo, he’s an Engineering major.” Nicholas then went on to explain how the two had ran into each other in the same ski resort the recent break, the romantic cliché of getting stuck in the ski lift for about twenty minutes, and talking until the machine came back on. They then decided to continue their conversation over dinner with hot cocoa and well, to say the least, Nicholas was smitten over the guy.

“But what does Euijoo have anything to do—“ The realization struck. You paused then squinted your eyes. “He lives there?”

Nicholas shook his head, before a sheepish smile etched on his face. “But he did ask if I was going.”

Alas, you found yourself in the party. And to make it worse, not even twenty seconds in the door, someone crashed right into you, their drink and snacks they were carrying had spilled all over you, staining your shirt with an alcoholic concoction and nacho cheese sauce.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N,” Nicholas exclaimed. “Are you okay? Gosh, couldn’t that guy see where he was going?” He threw a glare in the direction of where the guy that bumped into you had gone.

“I’m fine, Nico,” you reassured, however your best friend wasn’t convinced. “Hey, I see Euijoo over there by the food table, why don’t you go talk to him?”

“How about y—“

“I’ll ask around for a bathroom, it’s alright.” He stared at you, brows pulled together. You rolled your eyes, emphasizing, “It’s okay.” You then turned him around so he faced away from him, giving him a gentle push. “Now, go.”

He looked over his shoulder as he walked slowly, but when you gave him a reassuring look, he returned with a grateful smile and disappeared into the crowd, his head popping up right by the food table not long after. Once you were sure he was out of sight, you heaved a sigh, your shoulders slouching. Every time you’d gone out to a party, it’d give you a reason why it is never a good decision. The last time you had gone out, you spent most of your time by the snacks and for some reason, someone didn’t inspect the food provided and you ended up eating something that was way past its best before date, resulting into an intensive couple of hours in the toilet the next morning.

Now your favorite white shirt was stained with alcohol and cheese.

You tried to ask others where the bathroom was, ultimately being ignored at almost every turn.

“Hey, can you point me—“

“Do you know where—“

“Anyone know—“

“Bathroom, where—“

Hopeless.

Obviously you could try looking through every door until you found the bathroom, but the house was three floors, and even the first floor was so crowded, you were grateful to even find the front door again. You wanted to dip—everything in you and the state of your outfit with the stains seeping through the material—urged you to just leave, and hope that Nicholas’ “date” goes well and he won’t need a ride home.

The urge stuck, pushing your body towards the door as if it had a mind of its own (and it was thinking, “fuck this”), but a voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Looking for the bathroom?” A relieved smile appeared on your lips as you turned around to see your saviour of the night, but it immediately dropped when you saw he spoke to you.

Koga Yudai (infamously referred to as “Kei” for reasons unknown to you) had the gentlest of smiles etched across his pink lips when he appeared before you. He looked different—grown, mature, and obviously attractive as hell. A lot had changed since the last time you saw him; the last time being grade school. Of course you were well aware that he went to the same university as you, but he was in a completely department and the chances of your paths crossing was low.

But never zero, I guess.

He glanced down to your mess of a shirt, a teasing grin on his lips. “Damn, Y/N, you really know how to party.”

You rolled your eyes. The relationship you and Kei had in grade school was friendly, being a year above you limited your interactions but back then, he used to live in the same neighbourhood as you. Your mothers met each other often during community gatherings and events, your fathers also worked in the same area in the city. Being friendly with each other was inevitable, but Kei took it a step further by teasing you every so often.

“Do you know where the bathroom is, Kei?” You asked exasperated, not wanting to play along with his teasing. The smell from the cheese and pungency of the alcohol was seeping through your shirt, invading your noise and sticking to your skin, if he didn’t show you the bathroom in that very moment, you were sure a homicide was going to take place.

“Yeah, I’ll show you the one near my room so we can get you change of clothes.” He didn’t give you any opportunity to protest or ask further questions before he turned and walked towards the stairs. You followed him like a lost puppy, eyes darting and dodging those in your way. The two of you reached the third floor which was a lot less crowded than the other two.

“We keep the third floor empty of party-goers,” he stated, answering your thoughts.

As you reached a closed door, you asked, So, you live here?” He turned to look at you, nodding, before pushing the door open to reveal the bathroom.

“Head on in, keep it locked, alright?” He told you, stepping aside for you. Before he closed the door, he said, “I’ll be back with a shirt for you.”

“No, Kei, it’s—“ The door closes before you could finish. You sighed, staring at the closed door in a daze, your heart fluttering against your ribcage. You were grateful Kei barely looked at you, hopefully he didn’t notice the way your cheeks were flushed a bright red, and your heavy breathing (that wasn’t from the two flights of stairs).

God, they’re still here? You thought they’d be gone by now, it had been almost a decade since you realized your crush on Kei. A decade where the two of you never saw each other after he said his goodbyes because he and his family were moving to Tokyo for his dad’s new job. You were sure that would be last time you’d see him, giving you enough time and distance to move on from your puppy love.

I guess the feelings were stronger than I thought.

A knock broke you from your thoughts, causing you to jump slightly and then panic because you didn’t lock the door as Yudai had asked.

“Y/N, I brought the shirt.” A sigh of relief escaped your lips, and you pulled the door open. You were met with a look of confusion from Kei. “You didn’t lock the door.” It wasn’t a question, rather a statement.

“Yeah, I was occupied.”

His brows furrowed to that of worry, his lips pressed in a tight line. Oh boy. “Y/N, you’re at a party. Tons of people are here and this bathroom is open for anyone, who knows what would’ve happened if it wasn’t me that came? No one would’ve known you were in here and you could’ve been cleaning yourself up, forgetting to lock the door and someone could just waltz right in—“ He rants dramatically, using his arms and his face contorting, but instead of scaring you, a laugh left you, stopping his nagging. “This is no laughing matter, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, Kei, it was an honest mistake,” you reassured him, but his scorn prevailed. “You haven’t changed, huh?”

His eyebrows shot up at that, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the door frame, the shirt he brought draped over his crossed arms. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” He asked with a raised brow.

“You still nag ‘til my ears bleed,” you said, over exaggerating.

A look of offense briefly passed his features. “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do, you always have!” You grinned. “When I scraped my knee when I rode a bicycle, you told me it was my fault because I didn’t want to wear knee pads. In sixth grade, when I flunked a math test, you nagged at me because instead of studying, I chose to binge watch Barbie.”

Kei’s mouth opened to defend himself, but closed again, thinking back to those days, then finally said, “Okay, maybe I nag a bit but it’s mostly because you don’t listen.”

“Yeah, yeah, can I please have the shirt so I can change? I think the cheese they used for the nachos is a combo of cheddar and blue cheese.” The two of you cringe, and he hands you the shirt before closing the door.

You were to turn to pull your shirt off when the door swung open, a scream escaped your lips as you jumped, turning to find Kei with a shit-eating grin. “Lock it, Y/N.”

“Alright!” A laugh echoed from the other side when you turned the key. You took your time to peel the stained shirt off of you, the state of it causing you to pout as you contemplated whether or not you should give a chance and laundry it or to just toss it out altogether. It genuinely concerned you how much thought you were putting into that decision because the shirt had been with you for years, and it fit you the way that could only be done through constant wear. You doubt you could find another.

So you decided to rinse it, at least get as much of the stain and cheese out with the bar soap available, and then let the washing machine back home deal with the remains. You also grabbed a wad of toilet paper, running it under water before wiping the skin of your stomach and chest. Unfortunately, no matter how much you scrubbed it, the smell of alcohol wasn’t disappearing.

Giving up, you folded your shirt neatly, tucking it away in the small bag you brought before picking up Kei’s shirt. You gripped the shoulders, allowing it to unravel. It was a flannel made of cotton, thin enough for the warm summer night but wasn’t transparent either when you held it against the light. The best part though was the smell; a mixture of softener, musk and woodiness that seemed all-too familiar but you couldn’t put a finger on what it was. One thing you remembered about Kei was his genuine interest in perfumes and all things scented. You remember there was a point you were hanging out in his house and his mother came barging in into his room, angry because Kei had borrowed her perfume and forgot to put it back.

You smiled fondly at the memory, all those days suddenly felt so close—closer than they had ever been for the past few years, but just as far.

You slipped the shirt on, the material feeling soft and warm against your skin. Despite its larger size, you felt it fit you just right.

Once you were done, you pulled the door open and stepped out, pulling at the flannel and tucking the front part into your jeans. “You look really good in my shirt.”

Another scream, but this time, you smacked his arm. “Stop that!”

He threw his head back at your reaction. “You’ve always been easy to scare.” You rolled your eyes, glaring at him, but he ignored the look as he nodded his head towards the left side of the hallway, opposite to the stairs back at the party. “Come, I know these things are really your scene. I’ve got snacks in my room.”

When you were about to follow him, your phone vibrated in your pockets.

Nico: yn where’d you go? i waited by the bathroom and it wasnt you

“Boyfriend?”

Your eyebrows pulled together at Kei’s question, but you shook your head. “No, it’s a friend I came here with.���

“Oh.” A look of relief passed his face, but it was so quick, you almost questioned if you’d imagined it.

You: hey im with kei rn, im okayyy You: pls have fun with euijoo without me 🤭 Nico: alrightt text me if youre ready to go Nico: but take as much time as you want 😇 You: same to youu

With a satisfied grin, you slipped your phone back in your pocket and followed Kei to his room. It looked just as you had expected; a tidy mess. He had always been the type to keep his room tidy enough that his mom wouldn’t nag at him to clean his room at first glance, but you’d look closely you would notice the pile of laundry on a chair, the mess of textbooks on his desk and his untucked sheets.

One thing for sure, the smell of the room could easily distract you to the point you would never notice any of all that.

You noticed the two scented candles lit by his desk, igniting the space in a warm yellow, wavering a bit with your entrance. The layout looked just like what you’d expected in a college student, which meant that there was a small TV screen, mini fridge and a rice cooker. “Not too bad, Koga.”

“Sorry for the mess,” he apologized with a chuckle. “My bedroom is usually off limits on nights like this.” You stared at him expectantly. “You are an exception, Y/N.”

“Such an honour,” you teased, laughing. “I didn’t know you lived here.”

“Yeah, I was one of the first few people Mingyu approached to join,” he informed, and you nodded wordlessly. “Anyway, why are you here? As far as I remember, you never liked crowded places, let alone a party with drunk college kids.”

“My friend, Nicholas, the guy I came here with asked me to come with him as a—I wouldn’t say wing woman, but he was invited by someone he’s interested in and didn’t want to arrive alone,” you droned on, even though what you were explaining didn’t have any correlation why you’d willingly put yourself in a situation you were uncomfortable in.

And Kei knew that. It was exactly what he had asked. “Still putting the needs of others before your own, huh?”

“Still meddling yourself into things that have nothing to do with you, huh?” You bit back, stunning Kei for a second before a soft chuckle left his lips. “I don’t… mind, if the whole cheese thing didn’t happen then I’d probably be having fun by the snack table right now, maybe even talk with Kevin from Stats. I saw him by the kitchen earlier.” You knew you were rambling to deflect, and despite the years that passed between you and Kei, he was still well aware of your old habits.

And he’d always listen. The two of you had sat on the floor close to his bed, the mini fridge beside the door, and he had already propped his arm up, resting his chin while you rambled on, justifying why you did come to the party. He never interrupted, because sooner you would realize what you were spewing wasn’t entirely true and blush, embarrassed for letting yourself talk so much.

“Yeah, I get it, Y/N, but the line between selflessness and self-sacrifice is almost invisible, what you’re doing is sacrificing your own comfort for the sake of others,” he pointed out, “you know you’re not a party person, but you still go out of your way because someone asked you to.”

“That would mean I shouldn’t leave my comfort zone,” you retorted, the back of your neck beginning to heat up. “I’m not eleven anymore, Yudai. I get you had been protective then, but I’m an adult now. I can choose whether or not I want to put myself in uncomfortable situations.”

He was quiet for longer than you expected, and you feared that you’d said something wrong, maybe even offended him. But then you caught the twitch at the corner of lips unfold into a smirk. “You called me Yudai.”

The embarrassment was almost immediate. Your cheeks flushed a bright red, heating up not just your face but your entire body. Nobody—as far as you knew—called him Yudai, all of them called him Kei, even back when you went to the same school. The only people that called him Yudai were his parents, and well, you. It started as a way to tease him, like being called your full name, but doing it so often, it became a habit.

It slipped, in the midst of your minor altercation, you were overwhelmed by the emotions of being treated like a kid to even realize.

“I almost thought you’d forgotten.”

“How could I? The faces you’d make when I called you Yudai were priceless,” you said with a laugh. “Especially when I did it in front of your friends.”

“Not even my mom embarrasses me like that,” he adds, causing the two of you to laugh harder. “I’m sorry if I offended you, I’m well aware you’re not a kid anymore, and yeah, I’m glad you don’t want to keep staying within your comfort zone even if it’s hard.”

“But…?” It was clear something else.

“Just… I guess, it’s a bit hard for me to grasp that you really don’t need me anymore,” he admits, a faint shade of pink appearing in his cheeks. “I know you’ve always been able to handle things yourself, but it always felt, I don’t know, comforting I guess, whenever you included me in the things you were going through.” He paused again. “You’ve matured, Y/N, is all I’m saying.”

His words tugged at your heart, the truth behind them revealing itself in the maze of your memories. Yes, Yudai had always been a nagging Nancy, most the problems gone through during your time together were always accompanied by his reprimanding. However, he never scolded you without providing a solution or way out.

Sure he might’ve yelled at you for scraping your knee but he’d do so while plastering on a band-aid he had prepared beforehand.

Yes, he had talked your ear off when you failed math, but he made it his mission, amidst his own studies and extracurriculars, to tutor you so you can retake the test.

Even now, you’re wearing a clean and comfortable shirt that doesn’t smell like a science experiment gone wrong.

There were different things you wanted to tell him, thank him, say that he made your life easier, but instead you opted to say, “You really haven’t changed.”

Laughter shook his body. “What can I say? Old habits die hard.”

“What habit? Nagging ‘til our ears bleed?” You teased.  He shook his head, the smirk lingering on his lips as he locked eyes with yours.

“The habit of always wanting to be there for you.”

[lady-phasma]

Idk if this is a insensitive question, but how do you deal with ageism in fandom space? I'm in my late twenties and people already make me feel so weird about still caring about certain things, calling us hags and such, it's really depressing

Hi nonnie!

Not insensitive at all! First, hugs. I am so sorry that you have had that experience.

Please don’t let it get you down too much. If you don't follow me or are a new follower, let me give you some background. I don't allow bigotry or hate of any kind on my blog. That has the effect of also dramatically decreasing rudeness in my sphere. I got the nickname auntie for a few reasons, but one is because I'm older than a lot of folks. I embraced it. Especially when I realized that people needed a safe space in some fandoms. (The nickname originated as "writing auntie" but auntie stuck.)

So how do I deal with ageism? BLOCK. If anyone makes you feel old (seriously late 20s is so young!), block them. How do I not take it personally? That might be the more accurate interpretation of your question. I look at my nerdy tattoos and smile. I watch my blorbos and favorite shows and write smut. I check my notifications for all the people who get joy from my posts, fics, and gifs.

Honestly, I think it gets easier to not give a fuck when you get older because, for myself at least, the march of time is inevitable, so we might as well enjoy the things we enjoy. I literally do not give a shit if someone has a problem with me being 41 and in fandoms on Tumblr. I have 30 years' experience writing fanfiction. I have a whole-ass life off this blog. And I need my fandoms because they make me happy and that's a precious thing in life.

So, if I had advice to give you it might be this: just hold on. When you hit 30 you will probably stop caring. Until then, block them, post even more, do nerdier shit, and make yourself happy. The best way to deter people who want to make others miserable is to show them that they can't do that to you.