#idk if having No Information makes them more susceptible to being ignored

[yan-lorkai]

Idk if there's a character limit per ask, but if that's the case you can ignore this request!

From the yandere list, blood, cruelty, exposed and game for Rook? Affection, hell and patience for Idia? And kisses, mask, oppression, regret and stigma for my beloved Lilia? :D

◟⁠₎ Rook Hunt

*･゜ﾟ Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He is a hunter. He's willing to get messy enough to get his darking resting in his arms, whether they wants it or not. Yet he prefers not to get too dirty, he doesn't want you to see him soiled with the blood of other prey he's been hunting.

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*･゜ﾟ Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Rook absolutely drowns his darling in his love no matter what, whether it be with his words or being near them at all times. He wants you to love him as much as he loves you, but Rook isn't naïve and knows all the signs of fear in you. And he definitely wouldn't mock you if you were afraid of him and your new home, it's a natural reaction, but he knows that soon you will adapt and accept the situation. It's not like you have any other options.

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*･゜ﾟ Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Rook is mysterious and he knows it. He can talk for hours and still not reveal any relevant information if he doesn't want to. And for the first few months he still maintains that image, but the more time passes and the more he watches your progress in accepting things, Rook starts sharing little things with you.

A childhood story, a prank he pulled with his siblings. Things like that. And he would love to hear any stories from you when you were a kid.

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*･゜ﾟ Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Oh dear, of course it is but not in the way you're thinking. He has all the weapons prepared to make you fall in love with him and Rook will use each one of them with everything he has, he wants to make you laugh and smile, wake up and sleep with you and mostly see every side of you that exists. This whole process is a game he's playing on his own, but he's firmly convinced that your relationship isn't just a game that will hit game over once you admit your feelings for him.

And like a hunter, Rook loves to watch your little antics as you hatch a plan to escape. You always leave adorable little flaws that make him hold his breath to keep from laughing and demonstrate that he already knows. And every time when he picks up his tough form and walks you back home, his face wears a smile as he smells you and hears your breathing become slower and slower with the help of the little sedative he administered to you.

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◟⁠₎ Idia shroud

*･゜ﾟ Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He's a little shy and can stutter if you look at him for more than half a second, but normally Idia communicates his love for you with simple gestures. Whether it's holding your hand even though you feel him shaking or him whispering very softly in your ear what he feels for you when he thinks you're sleeping.

As your relationship progresses, Idia becomes more confident and finds more ways to express his feelings for you. His affection isn't as intense as you might think just because he's afraid he'll be too clingy with you and you'll hate him for it.

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*･゜ﾟ Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Perhaps isolation. Idia and Ortho will be your only company once they manage to bring you to your new home and if you refuse to interact with either of them, you will spend a lot of time isolated and silent in your room. But there's only so much silence a person can take without freaking out and when you're most susceptible to conversation they'll be there to listen and chat with you.

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*･゜ﾟ Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Idia knows that patience is the key to dealing with this situation. With enough time he can turn your fear into love and you can live a story just like Hades and his beloved. However, you have to behave very badly to make him lose his temper, because thanks to his games Idia has a large stock of patience.

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◟⁠₎ Lilia Vanrouge

*･゜ﾟ Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Before or after your kidnapping, Lilia is a clingy person who can be found by your side at any time of the day. He also likes to talk your ear off telling stories or humming some old tune. He's as caring and sweet as he can be, trying to show you that he's not that bad and that your relationship can work if you don't fear him or scream or try to run away.

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*･゜ﾟ Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not one bit. I mean, he's cheerful and always trying to drag you into one of his pranks, he was like that before the kidnapping too. His personality remains the same in many ways, but now there is the small difference that he acts strict with you, forcing you to eat right, sleep at least 8 hours a night and get some exercise.

And there's the sadism behind his pretty red eyes when you try to run away. You are just a small, ephemeral thing that has captured his heart, no matter how much you fight and try, Lilia is still stronger than you.

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*･゜ﾟ Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Depending on how you behave, you'll keep all of your rights intact. But the more you disobey him and try to run away from him, run away from the demonstrations of love or the place where you live, the more rights you will lose. The right to bathe alone, the right to eat alone, the right to leisure, every moment you will spend with him or one of his children.

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*･゜ﾟ Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Absolutely not. From his perspective, Lilia is doing everything right to keep you safe and away from any evil influences coming from your human friends. Your only chance of leaving would be if you managed to get away from him and still, he knows how to track someone. He has done this in times of war, but you might not like the consequences if you go along with that plan.

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*･゜ﾟ Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Lilia was a general. And everything he experienced during the war like the hunger and death of his friends did not leave his mind even after a long time had passed. The world is peaceful now, sure, but still a voice always whispers in his ear that he must keep his family safe. And unfortunately for you, that means he'll keep you safe too, using any and all methods he sees fit no matter how much you resist and try to argue against it.

[trensu]

I had a thought about a vaguely Cupid-and-Psyche inspired crack!fic where Elias is a god of Love

(Jon: don't you mean Emotional Manipulation?

Elias: you say to-may-to, i say to-mah-to

Jon: ... I say to-mah-to, I'm not American, what does this have to do with anything?)

Jon is obviously Cupid. Elias took a shine to him and made him immortal against his will and keeps him as his servant or smth. Idk Elias is a douchebag, okay? ANYWAY, Elias is also a petty bitch and so he gave Jon Love arrows

(Jon: it's mind control.

Elias: they inspire passion, Jon. Just bc you don't experience it, doesn't mean--

Jon: No. Me being ace has nothing to do with it. They're mind control arrows. These people wouldn't have done all that if they weren't being influenced.

Elias: you have no romance in your soul

Jon: ...i find your interpretation of love and romance extremely suspect.)

Whenever Elias feels jealous or neglected or just plain bored tbh, he sends Jon out with to shoot whoever's caught his ire with one of those love arrows and has them make fools of themselves. Jon does it (he's bound to Elias for handwavey reasons so he can't really disobey) and it usually gets him in trouble. It's how he's gotten all those scars. (Jane Prentiss falling in love with worms and attacking Jon with them when he accidentally stepped on one while trying to make an exit was pretty tame in comparison to Jude Perry's reaction when she realized Jon struck Agnes with an arrow so she'd fall for some no-name mortal boy).

Such is Jon's life. Being immortal is not all it's cracked up to be when you can get injured and scarred. So when Elias started muttering about Peter's wandering eye, Jon knew it was only a matter of time before he'd send him out with those arrows again.

Peter, apparently, had been showing too much interest in a mortal boy named Martin, whose Loneliness tasted as bittersweet as dark chocolate (or so Peter claimed as he boasted during his dinner with Elias while Jon slowly sunk further into his chair the more irritated Elias's scowl grew).

"make him fall in love with something hideous and embarrassing," Elias had seethed at him, practically throwing the quiver at his head. At least two of the arrows pricked him so he was quite grateful that he was immune to their mind control (Elias: don't be ridiculous, Jon. Having you susceptible to the magic you're tasked to handle would be a stupid move on my part. You could get compromised and be completely useless to me!)

Grumbling, Jon set out to track down the mortal boy. He was not prepared for the the way the sunlight glinted off of Martin's light hair or his warm smile. He was not prepared for the twinge he felt in his heart when Martin's pale eyes glimmered with tears after receiving his mother's harsh words (the pain, worryingly, felt all too similar to the slice of the arrows he aimed at people).

He didn't want to shoot Martin with one of the mind control arrows. He wanted Martin to be happy. So he persuades his good friend Daisy to get her gf Basira to fake a prophecy. To her credit, she did a fantastic job delivering a fake prophecy. But there was some sort of miscommunication (or Martin's mother deliberately misunderstood; it could go either way). Instead of telling Martin's mother to marry off her son to a kind and handsome man with a gentle heart in order to avoid the wrath of the gods, the prophecy was somehow interpreted as sacrificing Martin's hand in marriage to some sort of hideous beast that lived at the peak of a nearby and treacherous mountain.

(Jon: how did she get that idea from your prophecy? what exactly did you tell her???

Basira: i can't fake a prophecy, Jon. and i'm not telling you what the prophecy was

Jon: What?? Why not???

Basira: it would violate the oracle-client confidentiality clause on the consent form we have them sign prior to a reading)

Jon was irritated by how quickly and eagerly Martin's mother was to dress up her son and dump him on the mountain. He was tempted to use the arrows on her, instead, but he figured Martin would be upset if something happened to his mother so he refrained. Jon fretted as Martin started his slow procession up the mountain. Martin wasn't made to endure such a harsh environment, and even if he had, he shouldn't have to!! Martin deserves to be loved and treated well and get given all the good things life could offer!!

So Jon constructs a luxurious enchanted castle using godly magic and more favors than he probably should've called in. He puts big obvious signage to Martin knew it would be his castle provided by his non-existent monster spouse.

(Daisy: he's gonna get suspicious when his monster spouse doesn't show up. he'll probably leave and try to find it. he seems like the self-sacrificing type and you know how those get.

Jon: i have a plan

Daisy: .... is this like all your other plans?

Jon: shut up, daisy)

So Jon pretends to be the hideous monster spouse Martin was expecting. Sort of. He only visits after dark, and informs Martin that he can not bring light into the room for if he sees his visage he'd be cursed (or something; Jon came up with something on the fly and was definitely not suave about it but Martin complied and that's all that mattered). He spends his nights with Martin, telling him stories and meekly asking permission to pet his hair and hold his hand while doing his best to ignore the pounding of his heart and the heat on his cheeks whenever Martin softly says yes. He didn't say yes the first time Jon asked, and Jon skittered away from where he had been creeping closer. He respected Martin's boundaries (he isn't Elias, after all) but as he and Martin spent more time together, Martin became less guarded and began to allow Jon close.

It got to the point where they would cuddle in bed and Jon was so content in Martin's arms that he occasionally dozed with him. Everything was great and Martin seemed genuinely happy to spend his days in the castle learning new hobbies and such while spending his nights with someone he couldn't see. Until one day Martin asked if he could have his mother visit. Jon wanted to say no, but the hesitant way Martin asked tasted too much of fear of rejection for Jon to deny him.

(Daisy: why do I have to guide her here?

Jon: bc you're my friend and if you don't Martin will be sad which means I'll be sad and you'll have to listen to me cry about it and you hate that

Daisy: damn it jon)

And because martin's mother is awful and bitter and spiteful, she tells Martin he should find out what his "captor" looked like. his spouse was a monster, after all, he should know what he's dealing with so he could defend himself and her if it should decide to attack them. so one night, shortly after his mother left, he waits until Jon has dozed off before quietly lighting a candle.

Jon wakes when he feels hot wax drip onto him and sees Martin staring a him with a shocked expression. Jon realizes what happened and flees in a panic. He knows what he looks like; short and skinny an riddled with scars of all kinds. Ofc Martin would be disgusted by him. He ends up licking his wounds at Elias's.

(Elias: my poor delicate darling precious boy

Jon: really, Elias?

Elias: can't a father worry about his child??

Jon: you're not my father!! you kidnapped me and immortalized me against my will!

Elias: details, details. anyway, you can stay here until you recover from your grievous injuries. byyyyee!

Jon: where are you going? elias? why's the door locked? elias?? LET ME OUT, YOU POMPOUS ASS)

When Jon recovers and finally manages to escape, he finds out that Martin had been trying to find him but Elias had given him impossible tasks to prove he's worthy of him. Thankfully, Daisy, Georgie and Basira all helped him out, much to elias's displeasure. Since Martin completed the tasks, Jon was able to reunite with him and they lived happily ever after~!

[pk-majora]

exploring my natal chart like pt 13 i think. found another really great website for a free chart astro-charts.com

I was born during a waning crescent moon and a lot of planets were in retrograde when i was born.

"A Waning Crescent is a wise, aged moon that has already experienced every phase in the cycle. This causes people born under a Waning Crescent to possess special talents or knowledge. Having this unique perspective can lead to a life of success, imagination, and fulfillment."

SOURCES: https://www.yourmoonphase.com/blogs/your-moon-phase/what-the-moon-phase-on-your-birthday-says-about-you#:~:text=A%20Waning%20Crescent%20is%20a,success%2C%20imagination%2C%20and%20fulfillment.

"Retrograde Mercury: These people absorb thoughts and ideas through repetition and osmosis rather than careful, deliberate study. Constantly editing, reviewing, rethinking, replaying it in their mind. Own best teacher. Questions what others accept as gospel. More capable of dealing with abstractions and impressions than those with Mercury direct.

Retrograde Jupiter: These people are capable of taking advantage of opportunities that others ignore or pass by. They prefer to “take another crack” at things others have tried and failed. Their moral and ethical code, religion, and philosophy are their own. They seek answers from within rather than subscribing to the dogma of the outside world. They seek abundance in new, untried, and unproven areas.

Retrograde Saturn: These people may doubt their worthiness as human beings. May avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes and be fearful of taking chances. There is often subconscious fear of rejection and loss. Their limitations and burdens are self-imposed. This may be the most difficult retrograde.

Retrograde Uranus: Here is a natural-born rebel. Strong reformer instincts — for everybody else. These folks have a strong inner need and desire to persistently test their personal abilities against those of others. They must constantly prove themselves to themselves. In seeking greater freedom for themselves, they may limit the freedom of others.

Retrograde Neptune: These people may be confused inwardly as to whether they are “virtuous” or not. Persistently seek to help others, whether their help is wanted or not. They are more susceptible and more easily taken in by others."

SOURCES: https://www.mollysastrology.com/lessons/retrograde-planets/

Some other information about my chart:

"Most of the inner planets are located in the top hemisphere

Mars is on the Midheaven

Ascendant and Mc are in 9 aspects

Venus in Libra and Uranus in Aquarius are in the signs of their rulership.

The Square aspect occurs the most, a total of 11 times

Uranus and Neptune are rising

The bottom right quadrant is empty

The Fixed mode is dominant among the inner planets"

SOURCES: astro-charts.com (they give you all that info if it applies to you when you make your chart super cool website)

Based on my chart from cafeastrology.com I have:

6 masculine/4 feminine placements

3 cardinal/4 fixed/3 mutable mode placements

and my breakdown by element is 3 fire/3 earth/3 air/and 1 water sign lmfao which is my scorpio mars + midheaven lmfao.

Going to see if I can find out what that all means too lmfao.

Also found some really cool websites with info on chiron and lillith placements.

"Chiron is the wounded healer and shows our long-term wounds that often come from a past lifetime. Chiron in Libra is the particular wound of relationships.

We tend to overcompensate in Chiron areas by becoming a bit extreme. It’s natural to try and “fix” the wound, but often I find that we chase a solution to fix our Chiron, instead of uncovering the solution inside of us.

Unlike other planets, it’s hard to ignore your Chiron. It will hit you in the face, over and over, and can make your life pretty terrible, especially if you don’t know how to work with it. The Chiron in Libra wound is especially difficult because it’s all about relationships, something we deal with almost every day.

Chiron in Libra means that you feel like there is something missing from your life. Usually, this “something” is your soul mate.

The Chiron in Libra wound might feel like a hole inside you. You may spend time trying to fill it with things from the outside world. You might also feel as though the world is just a bit off-balance at all times.

With Chiron in Libra, you are hurt by loneliness, but you are also hurt by relationships. Whether you’re in a relationship or are alone, the wound is there. Chiron in Libra shows itself no matter how hard you try to hide it.

There can be a lot of anxiety and guilt surrounding the Chiron in Libra wound. These people typically feel inadequate socially as a child, regardless of whether or not this is apparent to others.

This Chiron in Libra wound can show itself in a variety of ways. Often, these people feel alone and incomplete without a relationship, but they never find the fulfillment that they’re looking for in any relationship, either.

The Chiron in Libra wound usually manifests as conflict in interpersonal relationships. It is really difficult for these folks to have relationships without triggering the wound. This can include conflicts in romantic relationships, as well as partnerships and friendships. If you have Chiron in Libra, be wary of self-neglect in relationships.

Most relationships for the Chiron in Libra person will be karmic. It is important for these folks to focus on relationships in order to heal the wound, but this spotlight must have the intention of learning and working on ways to approach relationships that are more authentic.

It’s not abnormal for the Chiron in Libra person to wear a mask in a relationship. It might be really hard for them to show their true self to their partner for fear of losing the relationship.

The terror of being alone makes it hard for a Chiron in Libra person to get out of a relationship, even if it becomes unhealthy. It’s not uncommon for these relationships to have some sort of abuse involved in them, mainly because the Chiron in Libra person is passive and malleable, so they’re really a prime target.

I find that those with Chiron in Libra tend to give far more than they receive. This is most likely due to their fear of being left alone. There are definitely “people-pleaser” tendencies with this placement; these are the classic conflict-avoidant individuals.

Alternatively, the Chiron in Libra individual can be so afraid of being alone that they refuse to engage in relationships at all. I don’t see this outcome as much, but it is certainly a possibility. These people are often able to give others relationship advice that they can’t follow themselves.

Typically, the Chiron in Libra person gets into relationships with those who show a mirror image of the qualities they can’t see in themselves. They might also give to their partners what they aren’t able to give to their inner selves.

A Chiron in Libra individual might live a double life. It’s easy for them to hide who they truly are inside if they feel that they must put on a face in order to stay in a relationship. Sometimes, these people will do this for years, even while living with a partner.

This really is the classic Romeo & Juliet placement. Chiron in Libra is all about sacrificing yourself for the partner. Often, individuals do this because they are desperately trying to heal the wound, but it doesn’t fix it.

I find that most Chiron in Libra placements are developed in a past life. Unlike other wounds, this wound is about karmic relationships, so Chiron in Libra people will usually meet the same souls over and over until the wound is healed.

Sometimes, these Chironic beliefs are cemented by parents or through other early life experience, but the original wound almost always comes from a relationship trauma in a past life.

The first step to healing Chiron in Libra is to recognize that the true soul mate is within. The Chiron in Libra person is constantly looking to fill that “soul mate” void with other people, but they will only feel truly complete by connecting with the inner self.

You will find with this placement that others reflect your own needs back to you. If you see qualities in others that you feel you lack, then it’s time to try and discover those qualities within yourself instead of outsourcing.

You will need to learn how to be authentic in a relationship, without hiding any part of yourself. You probably feel fear that you might be left alone if you do reveal your true self, but this is fear that you have to process and move through. It’s okay to be afraid. The lesson with Chiron in Libra is to do it anyways!

Unconditional love for the self is something that will be helpful for you to develop. You will learn, by doing this work, that separateness and aloneness were simply illusions. I find that energy work can be especially helpful, as well as meditation and inner work."

SOURCES: https://teaandrosemary.com/chiron-in-libra/

(Lillith in Virgo) "Rebellion against order; provocative humour.

Their sensuality is strongly suppressed by trying to appear calm; emotional conflicts often occur because it is very difficult for these people to feel relaxed. They want to suppress their instincts or they appear to be cold and perverted.

Beware of alcoholism and surgery of the intestines."

SOURCES: https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/lilith-in-virgo-sign-astrology-meaning

I also have something called a yod that i dont quite understand yet lol. it looks like an isosceles triangle in my chart between my MC, North Node, and Saturn and it looks like its pointing at my saturn but idk what that means lol. the chart on astro-charts.com just let me know i have it lmfao.

[imagines-bangtan]

Idols - Chapter Twelve - End

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5 Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 *Chapter 12 - End*

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Synopsis: When you moved to Korea to finish your Oxford language and translations degree in Korean. You never expected you’d become best friends with one of the biggest boy groups of the K Pop industry. Let alone dating a member of another. Life was perfect for you. But it soon came crashing down like a tone of bricks.

Word Count: 2140

A/N: I’m so sorry for taking so long writing this!!! I’ve been too scared to finish it!!! I might write an epologue if anyone wants it but idk!! Let me know!! 

29/08/17 - Idols - Fin~

The next morning you woke to knocking at your door and a voice telling you that Daegi had made breakfast. Pulling yourself out of bed, you made your way to the kitchen where all of the other boys were gathered around the table. When Daegi placed the food on the table, you all started to pile it onto your plates with watering mouths and tongues swiping across your bottom lips.

When you began to dig in, you looked around the table at the other member's faces. You could tell that Minhyeon was more than a little bit hung over by the way his eyes were still bloodshot and his shoulders were hunched.

Yujin’s entire face was swollen as it often was when he had just woken up, informing you he had been dragged here seconds after he woke up. The other members looked how they usually looked beside Jae-Hwa who looked exhausted. His eyes were swollen as if he had been crying all night, his hair looked as sweaty as it looked post nightmare, and his posture showed everything about being distressed. But you tried to ignore it all.

“What’s the plan for today?” Chee asked you, shoving a mixture of food into his mouth.

“I’m going to meet up with Yoongi later before he goes away for promotions.” You explained after swallowing a mouthful of warm food.

“When do you want us gone.” He asked.

“No idea yet.” You pushed more food into your mouth and the conversation ended there.

A half-comfortable silence fell over the table until you and Daegi caught each other’s eyes. His head jolted towards Jae-Hwa quickly and you knew exactly what he was trying to say. Your suspicions were right.

The meal came to a quiet end and you told the members they could take showers if they wished while you helped Daegi clean up. His eyes told you that he wanted to talk to you in private and you weren’t in the position to say no. His eyes told you that he was worried and that he had a lot to both ask and tell. And still, you weren’t in the position to not give him answers this time.

The tension began to rise as soon as the other members left the room and the two of you were alone. You began washing and drying in silence until Daegi spoke up two minutes later, “Jae-Hwa has been having nightmares since you and Minhyeon had your talk.” Your heart sank into your stomach. You knew the news would affect him, but you didn’t think it would do so this much. And the tone of Daegi’s voice made something deep in you snap. He almost seemed angry. You didn’t say anything because there were too many guilty thoughts going through your mind for you to sort out. None of which were you ready to voice. “I wasn’t going to tell you,” Daegi broke the silence after realising you weren’t going to, “but last night was the worst of it. He woke me up chanting "don’t go" over and over again until I shook him awake. Even when he woke up he was sobbing. What did you say to him?” His voice showed that he was genuinely worried. He didn’t care about any past drama, he put Jae-Hwa first for once because this time you hurt him.

You shook your head. You couldn’t tell him, not yet at least. Tears began to prick at your eyes and you had decided you were through with crying. “I can’t tell you, Gi.” Dropping your head, you wiped your eyes and started to quicken your pace at drying the dishes.

“Why not?” He yelled, throwing the cloth he was using into the sink and turning to you, “We’re friends, right? Why can’t you tell me?” You jumped back at his harsh tone and looked into his eyes to see them filling with tears. This is it. You thought. It took a lot to work Daegi up for him to explode and you had done it.

“I just… I can’t. Not yet.” You shook your head and looked anywhere apart from his now water filled eyes.

“Y/n,” He placed both hands on your shoulders and stared into your eyes as you still tried to avoid his, “what happened?” A tear fell from his left eye and before you could even think of responding you were saved by a buzzing in your pocket.

Quickly wiping your eyes and nose, you answered the call and ran away from Daegi as quick as possible as Yoongi’s voice filled your ears.

An hour passed before Yoongi arrived at your door. The boys had left half an hour ago, Daegi merely giving you a sad look as he walked out of the door not saying a word.

Pulling Yoongi into a hug as he walked through the door, you smiled and tried to forget what had happened this morning. You wanted to enjoy the day with your boyfriend without any other boys invading your thoughts.

“How was last night?” Yoongi knocked down your plans of not thinking about other boys with the first sentence he had said to you since he entered your place.

“Good! Like the old times!” You covered up the drama with a little white lie and sat next to Yoongi on the couch, “How is preparing for the comeback?” You successfully diverted the attention from you to him.

“Exhausting,” his shoulders sank and you could see from his eyes how hard he had been working, “but exciting. I miss being on the stage.” He admitted with a sincere smile.

Most of the preparations were complete now. All of the teaser photos had been released and the fans were ready to explode by the look of your twitter feed. All that had to be released was the music video, then promotions could really start. A mixture of feelings went through you at how close the comeback was, and how awful the timing was. On one hand, you were excited to see your boys back on the stage and doing what they did best, but on the other, your time with all of them was being stolen from what seemed like a long time. This one was a long album and you heard that they were promoting it for a long time due to the global success they had been receiving.

“What was the song you were working on yesterday?” You asked, confused as to why he was working on a song when the album had already been completed.

“Just something” He muttered.

After thinking for a while you decided to let it slide and instead you asked what the plan for today was and he admitted he hadn’t thought of anything to do. “How about we go out for dinner later? It might be the last time we can go out before comeback.” He offered, and you nodded with a smile.

For the rest of the morning, you sat around and laughed with each other as if nothing in the world was wrong. Both of you were susceptible to feeling like crap and had been through an awful lot, but somehow when the two of you were together you felt like everything was okay. Two negatives make a positive right?

“What are you going to wear out tonight, babe?” Yoongi asked with a hand resting on your thigh casually.

“No idea,” you answered having not thought that far ahead, “it depends on where we are going I guess.”

Yoongi seemed to think for a while, and you admired the look on his face as he did so, and even pinpointed the moment he had an idea. When he told you his plan, glee filled you to the brim. There was a new restaurant opening up not far away from where you lived that you had wanted to try since it was announced, but you had never had the chance to go. You smiled and nodded at his suggestion and he told you to start getting ready because of how long it took you to get ready.

Running to your bedroom, you pulled out your nicest dress and started to get changed. This dress, in particular, was one you had never worn before. It was floor length with material flowing from the bottom of your ribcage to the floor. The arms were completely lace and finished three-quarters of the way down your arms. You spent another on your makeup and hair, making sure everything was perfect and not overdoing it. It all had to be the way you wanted it to for this date.

Unlike most girls in the movies though, having a great reveal when they step out of the bedroom shimmering and radiating elegance and beauty, you were rushing around the house trying to find what you needed, meaning Yoongi didn’t only see the finished product, but probably every other stage in between. He watched with a love sick grin plastered on his face and thought about how much he wished to see you like this every single day. In fact, you were in such a rush that you didn’t notice him slip out of the door and return nearly 20 minutes later.

You had just about finished and now looked like how you had wished for him to see you when you stepped out of the bedroom door and whispered, “Where are those damn shoes?” to yourself. Yoongi chuckled lightly and stood up from his place on the couch with white roses and a pair of silver heels that were almost too much of a perfect match to the rest of your attire.

“How about these?” He asked with a stupid smile.

“How did… When?” You asked with your jaw on the floor.

“While you were doing your hair.” He laughed and walked over to you. With a wide grin on your face, you graciously took the flowers from his outstretched hands and started to lift your foot, expecting for him to put the shoes on you like a prince and princess, but instead, he took your waist, bent down, and threw you over his shoulder. “You can put them on in the car, we’re going to be late.”

Giggling, you let him carry you barefooted to the car and did as he said when you were placed into the passenger seat.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet and peaceful. Yoongi focused on driving while you daydreamed out of the window about the future. Although there were several thousand reasons it wouldn’t happen, you wanted to be this way with Yoongi until you died.

No time at all passed before you pulled up outside the restaurant, entered, and were seated in the middle of the whole place. Thanks to the prior arrangements and the high security, there were no cameras and no one that seemed to be interested in either you or Yoongi. A feeling of hope flushed through you after looking around, and you had the feeling this was going to be one of the best dates of your life.

“Can we get you some drinks?” A young looking woman approached your table with a little notebook and asked the two of you.

Yoongi turned to you and informed you that he wasn’t going to have a drink so he could drive the two of you, but that you were more than welcome to have whatever you wished. And so, after ordering one non-alcoholic drink and another red wine, the woman left the two of you alone.

Smalltalk started quickly and you informed Yoongi of most of what had happened while you were with the other group, but left out everything about Jae-Hwa and his nightmares. You told him who fell asleep first, who drank the most, who ate the most, who wouldn’t stop interrupting the movie with unwanted commentary, everything besides how Jae-Hwa did anything to go unnoticed but ended up sticking out the most. In the middle of telling your drunken Minhyeon story, your drinks came and you ordered your food. The waitress could not have come in better time for you were just getting up to the part where he started to pick a fight with Jae.

“How are the rest of the boys coping with the busy schedules?” You asked, taking a sip of your wine.

“They’re all exhausted. Jimin isn’t really eating enough, but we’re pushing him to every chance we get so he’s okay. We all just want it to be perfect you know?” He continued to talk about the other BTS members. Adding detail to how they all struggle with promotions and the build up in their own ways. About the dance line putting in all of the extra hours, vocal line refusing to talk for a whole day at times to preserve their voices, rap line staying up late at night doing certain exercises to warm up their mouths, and everyone staying away from anything that is potentially dangerous.

You listened with many mixed emotions running through you. You were glad they took so much pride in their work but also wished they didn’t overwork themselves as you knew they did. You often voiced this opinion, as did the fans, but they also told you that they would make no money if they didn’t go to the extremes that they did, so you had no choice but to accept what they were doing and just tell them to keep an eye on their health.

It was half way through your meal that Yoongi stopped speaking so freely and started to hesitate before every word. You tried not to notice at first until he stopped eating, clasped his hands together on top of the table and looked at you. “Babe,” he started, and you too knew that it was best you stopped eating for a moment too.

“What’s up?” You asked, forcing a casual tone into your voice.

“Actually, I have something to confess.” He lowered his eyes and you could tell he was trying to find a nice way to put what he was about to tell you. You also knew it wasn’t going to be an easy thing to hear which made your heart drop to your toes.

“Just say it, Yoongi.” You whispered, taking his hands into yours across the table and smiling uncertainly.

“Promotions are going to last 2-3 months.” He spoke sharply.

The whole restaurant went cold. The food turned to dirt. Your dress turned to rags. A giant wall of bars dropped between you and Yoongi. Everything turned to nothing.

“Oh.” Was the only syllable you could choke out before you started to pick at the dirt on your plate and refused to look at the man sat in front of you. If you did look, you knew the acidic tears burning your eyes would fall down to burn your cheeks too.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, and instead of the melodic, comforting voice you usually heard from his mouth, you heard the sound of fire and sandpaper.

“Fine.” You answered, speeding up your eating, knowing you had to escape as fast as you could.

“It’s not that long, baby.” He started, shocked at how you reacted and wanting to patch up the hole in your heart as quickly as possible, “I’ll text you every day if I can, and we’ll see each other when I get back I promise. We’ll have ages together when I return. We can move in together, go public if we want to. Anything.” After your silence followed and he noticed the shaking of your body, he stopped talking. “What’s wrong?”

“None of that can happen, Yoongi.” You whispered.

“Why not? We both knew I would be away for a while. They only extended it by two months because of the international attention we’ve been getting. We don’t have to break up because of promotions. You and Jae-Hwa did fine so so can we!” He started to beg and you continued to look at the plate of food in front of you.

“I’m leaving in less than two months.” You stated.

“What?” He stopped talking and looked straight at you. His heart stopped beating for a moment while your words repeated in his head.

The truth had to come out eventually, you had just tried to delay it for as long as possible. Your time in Korea had almost come to an end meaning it was almost time for you to go back to your studies in England. It had been the best year of your life in Korea, so much so that you had almost forgotten that you were only here for a year as part of your Oxford course studies. This had become your life so all of your life in England had erased itself from your memory. In the beginning, you had made it known why you were here, but over time everyone you knew had forgotten that you were a foreigner here for a university programme. Telling Minhyeon and Jae-Hwa had a big enough effect. Jae-Hwa had begged you to stay through millions of falling tears and it later came to your attention that this very news had caused nightmares and bad thoughts to haunt him wherever he went. Minhyeon got very mad and started yelling at you. He even told you that you should never have befriended them if you knew you would just leave in the end. No matter how much you tried to explain their emotions just heightened and in the end, they decided that to make the most of your remaining time together they would keep everything on good terms.

Now was the moment of truth for how Yoongi would take it.

“My year's programme is nearly over Yoongi. I go back to university in England in two months.” You explained, trying to keep your voice neutral and the tears at bay.

“Okay.” He whispered and this time it was his turn to pick at his food.

Silence fell over the table. There was nothing to say. Nothing could change or fix the situation, so the only thing left to do was accept it.

“Let's just get the bill. It’s too stuffy in here.” He snapped. All you could do was nod and try to keep your heart beating. His reaction was already clear to you;

He had switched off his emotions.

-----

Three days had passed since you told Yoongi of your news. This also meant three days since you had heard from him. The hundreds of texts had been left unread and the only things you had heard about him were from Jungkook.

“Hyung’s locked himself away in his studio. He hasn’t spoken to any of us since he came back from your house last night. What happened? Did you break up?”

You didn’t explain to him what had happened between you and Yoongi and instead left the conversation by telling him to let you know when he came out.

You text Minhyeon the day you told Yoongi and he had agreed to have a drink with you the following day. He had told you to give Yoongi some space to let the information sink in. But you didn’t have the time for space. He would be starting promotions in four days now. This would be your last chance at anything.

That same day when you went back with Minhyeon, you decided to tell the rest of the boys of BiT. You stood at the front with all eyes on you and with Minhyeon’s hand on your shoulder, you just said the words with confidence. All members took the news exactly how you would expect they would. Chee and Yujin cried while Daegi nodded and hugged you.

That night you spent it at the BiT dorm.

But you’ve been alone since.

----

Five days passed since you had told Yoongi, and yesterday Jin and Namjoon visited asking about what had happened between you and Yoongi. You were broken at this point, so you just told them. You told them that you were leaving. You told them that you didn’t want anything to turn out like this. You told them that you wanted to live a normal life. You lied that you wanted to be alone. You lied that you wished you had never met any of them. But they didn’t believe any of it for a second.

They went with you while you told everyone else in BTS. The other members cried and held you and you spent the night in their dorm.

You left this morning without seeing Yoongi.

-----

Today was the day before promotions started. BTS was now fully prepared and ready to go. You had decided to sit in the dark until their comeback officially started. You decided you were now going to be nothing more than a supportive fan to BTS. It had to happen eventually anyway.

When the clock hit 8 pm you heard a knock on your door. You emerged from your dark bedroom where you had spent most of your time and groggily made your way to the door. Unlocking it slowly and then pulling it open took more effort than you wanted to put into it. But as soon as the door opened you were greeted with a frantic Yoongi.

“I love you.” He yelled, huffing and rushing every syllable into one. He pulled you by your shoulders towards him and pressed his lips to yours. Forcing himself closer and closer and closer still, he kissed you hungrily, hyper aware of the ticking clock.

He started to walk forwards, forcing you backwards and kicked the door shut with his foot. His hands gripped your hips and yours held onto his arms to keep steady from every force acting on you at once.

“Do you have to leave?” He asked when he pulled back for air.

“Yes. The 29th. The dates set.” You breathed.

“Then let’s make the most of our last night.” He sighed and attacked your lips again.

He was gone when you woke up the next morning and only one piece of paper remained.

------

The two months passed quicker than you thought. You kept yourself low the whole time. Exchanging a few texts a day with any of your friends. The first of the two months was spent keeping an eye on everyone and their promotions and the second was spent packing, contacting the university and preparing to leave. Preparing for today.

There were seven men in your house currently, none of them were any of the men you wished to have beside you on this day. They were carrying boxes from your house to the moving van outside and only talking to you when they absolutely had to.

Your phone stayed in your hand the whole day while you waited for any texts wishing you a goodbye. BiT were touring Japan now so they had said their goodbyes already while BTS had to do it over skype the night before. You missed them all too much. So much so you wanted to stay in Korea forever, but you knew you couldn’t. The whole year felt like a dream that was coming to an end. You never wanted to wake up, but like every dream, it has to be interrupted by reality.

Everything was soon packed into the van leaving you alone in what used to be your house but will soon belong to everyone else. People will be making new memories where all of yours were made, and you wished them the best. A drama free life unlike what yours was.

Wiping one more tear, you gripped your suitcase handle and walked out of the front door without looking back.

-----

Two hours after leaving your house, you pulled up at the airport. It was only when the taxi left and it was just you, your suitcase and an awaiting aeroplane to England that you realised this really was the end. Your life in Korea was over and it was now time to go back to being a normal university student, a life that you no longer wanted but had to live.

Gripping the handles tighter, you took a deep breath and started to walk. You checked in your bags quickly and started to walk towards security. Before you crossed the border where no non-passengers could cross, you looked back towards the entrance, half hoping for everyone to show up and drag you back, but upon seeing no familiar faces, you continued past security and successfully made it to the other side.

You sat waiting for your plane while looking at your phone and scrolling through all of the fansites for BTS and BiT. You had been watching all of their stages and shows and keeping up to date with everything they have been doing. They all looked happy and healthy. Since day one you have always said nothing compares to when they are up on stage, and you believe this until the last day.

While scrolling, you see a fan cam of Yoongi titled “mixtape?” and for some reason, you feel like it’s one you have to watch. You click play and see that it’s Yoongi standing alone on stage. He lifts the mic to his mouth and starts rapping a song you’ve never heard before and by the sounds of it neither had any of the fans. You listened to every lyric carefully and it seemed to hit something deep inside of you. It was only when the last line was spoken that you realised what it meant.

Your flight was called as soon as the video ended and so you made your way to the gate and quickly boarded the plane while fiddling with the piece of paper in your pocket.

“I’ll see you again - 170829”

The End

[the-cryptographer]

Ettushipping for the ask!!!!

Ah~ Thank you for asking about the OTP. I kind of figured I’d have nothing to say about it except repeating what I answered about polar and JouKai for the meme, but I shouldn’t have underestimated myself x_x  I also apologise, because it feels impossible for me to talk about them without talking about my fic project talking about writing fic instead of writing it so this might not be all that exciting mea culpa, but imma post - no obligation to pay attention to me - thankies~

when I started shipping it if I did:

In 2015, I was watching a lot ofygotas, feeling kind of bummed out, and looking through fanfiction. And I kindof had an ongoing interest in fmm and ffm polyships at this point, so I waslike, ‘okay, let’s smash my two favourite ships together and read all theMaiJouKai’.

A few minutes and some searchesaround the net later, I came to the tragic realisation that there /was/ noMaiJouKai. And then I was like, ‘fuck that. What has fandom spent the lastfifteen years doing then?’ and decided to write my own.

So I wrote a fic called On Public Relations and IndefiniteDefinitions which, instead of being the humorous longform fic I wanted toread, was some oneshot filled with Kaiba angsting about how he not only endedup with this moron, but he ended up with this moron that he’s kind of afraidwill leave him for Mai. It was also about the paparazzi, and the fact that Jouis Kaiba’s kind-of employee, and trying to understand where exactly we draw theline on somebody being a golddigger, and how to reconcile vastly differentlevels of income in a relationship. And, tbh, the fic is kind of shitty imo,but it still has some interesting ideas in it that are more or less ignored orunexplored so far as I’ve been able to see (and also it’s my humble fanficroots so I appreciate it for that).

I kind of dropped the fic and ran,and was going to just leave it at that. But then about a year later, due tomore ygotas and a sudden desire to revisit manga canon and watch the rest ofthe dub, I dropped back into the fandom and started revisting the ideas I’ddropped in my fic. I came to realise I really wanted to reuse the ship andbasic premise and try to write a fic where (1) Kaiba and Jou’s relationshipgoes from its approximate canon form with all the animosity to a romanceonscreen, (2) you’re given a lot of the factors commonly used to cause Mai& Jou to break-up except considered and explored in their own right in thecontext of Mai and Jou actually being invested in and feeling strongly for eachother, (3) Jou is working for Kaiba and the issues involved inemployee/employer relationships are laid out without an attempt to villainiseeither character, (4) wealth and poverty are not just having or not-havingmoney (something that could then easily be solved by Mai or Kaiba handing Jou acheck) but an entire relationship with money and employment and society andself-expectation and the cause of pretty severe cultural misunderstandings, (5)etc. etc. Yeah, this fic has way too many themes in it.  I mean, more than anything I wanted a ficabout Jounouchi’s entire existence postcanon – every single one of hisrelationships – and this ended up being a good way to do it. And, jeez, if thiswasn’t my OTP before I started planning LottoTicket, it definitely was after.

my thoughts:

idk, part of me is like, ‘you’rejust being really self-indulgent and forcing your two favourite ships into one,aren’t you?’ and then the other part of me is like, ‘but I don’t feel at alllike I’m forcing the characters to behave in any way that’s unnatural for them.I mean, I certainly commandeer the situational factors to make them moresusceptible to certain behaviour, but it doesn’t even feel very outlandish. Infact, the more I think about it, the more I think the ship as a whole couldease a lot of the individual tensions of its components.’

idk, I think the true answer is…both. It’s both indulgent and reasonable.

But I feel like I should say,insofar as my WIP is going, I’m not attempting to justify it as a ship thatwill last until everyone is dead, as much as I’m attempting to justify it assomething that helps brings stability to the characters during this ratherspecific period in their lives. I might eventually write something thatattempts to do more with the ship in the future, but I think those willdefinitely be more on the silly and fun and wholly indulgent side of things.

What makes me happy about them:

That Mai gets to travel and duel,Seto gets to have his company and its projects, and Jou doesn’t have to feel unsupportedand completely attention-starved in the meantime.

Also I’ve talked before about howSeto and Jou can pretty easily create a positive feedback loop for terriblebehaviour. I think having another person involved is one of the easiest ways tointercept that. It doesn’t have to be Mai, and it doesn’t have to be somebodyone or both of them are romantically involved with, but it does have to besomeone close enough to them, that they can witness the cause and effect oftheir behaviour on the emotional aspects of their relationship, and that Jouand Kaiba can’t just turn to and say, ‘buzz off, our relationship is our ownprivate business’. I think Mai and Jou, in different ways, both end upmediating quite a bit between Jou & Kaiba and Mai & Kaiba respectively.Kaiba less so for Jou & Mai, but I think, even in his presence, he canencourage Mai and Jou to consider when they’re being inattentive andunreasonable with each other respectively.

What makes me sad about them:

The amount of trickery I have to useto get them together, lol. I’ve tricked Seto into thinking Joey is gay andsingle. If he knew Joey was bi and had a girlfriend, I don’t think he’d beentertaining this idea for even a second. That’sright, Seto, let’s get you nice and overly invested ahead of time so you can’tdismiss the idea out of hand~

idk, everyone’s an insecure mess,but… even if I was writing for a more proper triad/threesome like miranova’settushipping, or battleshipping, or how I think most people talk aboutflareshipping, I imagine Seto at some point pitching a fit about how the othertwo like each other more than they like him. It is inevitable. It’s only amatter of how terrible the explosion is, and how well they manage to reassureeach other in the aftermath. So isn’t MaiJouKai as a V even worse because, ontop of all the personal insecurity, you’ve got a lot of societal messagingabout how you probably shouldn’t let yourself feel secure in letting your boyfriendsleep with someone else? idk, I see why Vs aren’t that popular in fandom.Before this I’d mostly shipped polyships where all the people were sexuallyinvolved. But I feel like, if you read a lot of OT3s, you realise how that mostof them are Vs on one level or another – it’s pretty naïve to think you’regoing to find two other people you feel equally strongly about in all theimportant™ ways, who are also going to feel equally strongly about you and eachother in those same important™ ways. Maybe it’s also naïve to think that aninequality in a sexual fashion is more profound than an inequality in anemotional one? I mean, /I/ think sexuality in relationships is one of thehigher ranked things in terms of profundity, but I don’t think everyone thinksso. Jou and Mai and Kaiba probably don’t agree with me or each other on thattopic – everyone has a different set of values, right? …I guess it makes me sadthat I don’t know whether or not they can make a poly relationship work incorrespondence with their expectations for a relationship – whether thoseexpectations are based on their own needs or on kind of a societalunderstanding of what a relationship should be – but maybe I shouldn’t say thatmakes me sad like that’s the end of the story either? When you are curious anddon’t know the answer – that’s a time when your mind is still open to newinformation and possibilities, right? You can let the characters bounce offeach other without an investment in the answer. That’s a fun place to writefrom.

things done in fanfic that annoy me & things I look for in fanfic:

lol, what fic? I liked Love Boat, although it’s more arrogantshipping than ettu.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I think it’s pretty clear I ship allthe people with all the people at this point. Anyone can end up with anyone andI’d be comfortable with it if it was considered with care.

My happily ever after for them:

I feel like it came up in a memeonce, or as a response to a fic comment, or something of that nature. Jou andMai and Seto are at some sporting event for their kid. Jou and Mai are theembarrassingly loud and enthusiastic parents who are ready to fight anyone thatsays their kid isn’t the greatest. It’s a hot summer day and Seto is wearing aheavy jacket and shades and being incredibly unemotive. He’ll save hiscongratulations until the end, thanks.

That’s a happily ever after of sorts, right?

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

idk, about spoons, but sleepposition headcanon is that Seto and Mai both like sleeping in the middle whenall three of them share a bed. It is the warmest and most comforting spot. AndI’ve already said that Seto is always cold, and Mai likes feeling safelyenclosed.

(Oh, god, Seto probably starts a riotthe first time Mai wakes him up and teasingly tells him to move because he’spopping wood into her stomach/thigh. For a while he refuses to sleep near herat all. And then for a while he refuses to sleep near her except with his back facingher.)

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

For all three of them together? Sleeping. That’s aboring one though, lol. I think they like going to tournaments together, eitherwhen somebody’s competing or none of them are.

I think more they like doing things just the two ofthem though. I answered for Jou and each of the others, but for Seto and Mai –they probably go to gallery openings or something, or get lunch and talk shopabout work and talk smack about everyone. Mai’s an easy guest for Seto to taketo business party type things too. She’s all the charm and he can just sit nextto her and lean into her shoulder and zone out while she’s socialising.

:’)  Thank you again~

[eeveelutionsforequality]

Idk if any of u have seen it, but there's a post going around with 3 fandom laws (which are actually on point), but there is a version that says these are great up to a point b/c romanticism of pedophilia/rape/trauma gives actual predators a place to hide, find community, and hurt minors. Idk why but that post really sets me off. I don't really want to read about those subjects myself, but people can write wtf they want n I know ppl who have been helped by reading/writing that kinda stuff.

My fandom rules are: Tag everything so that people can avoid what they want to avoid, don't put hate in the tags, don't contact creators/actors/youtubers/etc with unsolicited things that may be uncomfortable for them (ie it's fine to put fanfics in the Dan and Phil tag because they use them for videos, but it's not fine to message them and be aggressive about the fact that you think that they're/want them to be together), and that no dumb online thing is worth trying to bully or hurt someone.

If someone is being abusive or a predator, then you need to actually provide proof when you warn people about them in callout posts. Like, when I was in one fandom a few years ago I got pretty popular, I dated a couple of other fandom members, and people accused me of using the fandom and my popularity to get girlfriends, when in reality it just so happened that we shared a mutual interest in something and became close because of it. People decided that there was a power imbalance because I had more followers than them, and it was one of the things that started my anti-SJW phase because I was fed up of the term "power imbalance" being thrown around to describe things that actually had no bearing on the relationship. So callout posts for shit like that (although I don't think they made one about me) really desensitize people, and eventually nobody takes a callout post to mean anything more than "I wanna start beef with this person to get more followers" - which sucks because in a situation where there are lots of young people, you do need some level of moderation and warning for when somebody genuinely is a danger to them.

Here's the thing though, predators are going to be predators, no matter what you write or do. Manipulation can make you trust someone, rely on them, ignore the bad things they do, and it doesn't require you to have romanticized or normalized anything to happen - if anything, being exposed to a lot of that fiction and thus a lot of the criticisms and posts that say "X is fine in fiction but not okay in reality" is going to start making you a lot more aware of those things and quicker to realize "Actually, I shouldn't be being made to feel like this, and I remember a post saying that what they're doing now is actually an abuse tactic". My opinion is that education is always better than censorship, and if you keep people in the dark and keep things more taboo then it actually puts them more at risk because they don't know enough about the topic to see what's really happening. Take drugs, for example (no, don't take drugs, that was poor wording...), if you don't tell someone that the trip on shrooms will exaggerate and feed on whatever mood you're in, and so you need to be in a good mood and a safe place when you take them, people might take them at the wrong time and end up having a horrible trip, getting hurt, or worse. Some people might say "You're encouraging drug use!" but you're not, you're not telling people to take drugs or telling them that it's a good thing to do... you're just aware of the fact that ultimately some people will take drugs and they're better off doing so while informed on the topic.

And people know that drugs are bad, we see it everywhere - same with abuse and rape. If you write a story about drugs, that alone isn't enough to convince someone to change their opinion on drugs. Sure, you'll get people like the Slenderman girls, but one of them had schizophrenia and the other schizotypical (I think that was it, might have been schizoid or something) personality disorder - they were susceptible to influence and ultimately that just pushed the right buttons and nobody was paying enough attention to them and their posts online to realize what they were going through. In general, people's morals are pretty solidified by the time they start reading NSFW stuff, and if they're not then they're not really mature enough to be reading that stuff and their parents should be making more of an effort to keep an eye on them. Fiction can't change your morals, in fact being exposed to stuff you morally oppose usually reinforces that opposition. Sure, over time you can become desensitized to representations of things, but people who binge horror movies would still come back scarred if they went to war, because you aren't desensitized to the reality of the situation, just the romanticized version of it. Like, if you read Fifty Shades and then get abused, you don't feel how she felt in the book, because the book is a romanticization - you're still aware that the reality is not fun and it's scary, and no amount of floral language will ever change how it feels to you.

I love writing horror or taboo things. I feel like the author's job is to evoke a range of emotions in the reader - sure, I could just write a book that only came with positive emotions, but that's boring. I want them to feel sad, disturbed, sick, afraid, angry, amused, relieved... and not just because the happy parts feel better when they mean something amidst the rest, but because we have this vast array of emotions and when we feel them in a real world context then we can't escape them and it's not fun. When we feel them in the context of entertainment, they can disappear immediately if we just close the book or turn off the TV, we're completely safe to explore and embrace them, and it gives us the chance to enjoy even bad thoughts and bad feelings, to explore the darker parts of our mind and primitive or bad urges and desires that have no place in the real world, that we have no intention of ever acting on but that we all have in our brain somewhere. None of us are perfect, we all get enraged and imagine carving out someone's eyes with a screwdriver - doesn't mean we're bad people or we'd ever do it - but locking those thoughts away and being afraid of them gives them more power. I think daydreams and stories and stuff just kind of let us get things out, and they can reach boiling point and then gradually cool down, cooling us with them and putting our dumb problems or weird fantasies in perspective.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Like I said, just tag everything and be a nice person, it really sucks that people want to police fiction and hamper creativity.

~ Vape