#idk if I need comfort or just the comfort of knowing I said this but yeah
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helen-with-an-a · 3 days ago
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200 Goals
Hiiiii - this is a little something i thought of to celebrate Alexia's 200 goals for Barça. I hope you enjoy.
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Description: You're just so proud of Alexia but she's being stubborn
Word Count: 1.3k
TW: suggestive (? ish - idk tho)
Beautiful Girl Masterlist
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You lay on your back, the soft glow of the evening casting a golden hue across the room, bathing everything in a serene warmth. The only sounds were the faint rhythm of your breathing and the comforting steadiness of Alexia’s presence against you. Her arms encircled your waist tightly, her grip speaking volumes of her need to hold you close, as if letting go would shatter the peaceful bubble you both had created. Her body moulded perfectly against yours, her head nestled against your bare chest, where your heartbeat played a soothing melody just for her.
Her hair, richer and more vibrant in its deepening brunette shade, spilled over your skin in delicate waves. Each slight shift she made sent strands tickling against you, a gentle reminder of her closeness. She squirmed with the endearing restlessness of someone who wouldn’t settle until she’d found the perfect spot, her movements small but purposeful. Finally, she stilled, her leg sliding over yours with an air of possession, anchoring you both in the intimacy of the moment.
Her weight, slight but grounding, seemed to tether you to something far beyond the physical. The quiet gave way to a profound stillness, a space filled not with words but with the unsaid – the shared understanding that neither of you wanted to be anywhere else. Her breaths, soft and even, matched the rhythm of your own, and as her fingertips brushed idly against your side, you felt a wave of gratitude wash over you. This was home – no walls, no boundaries, just her, holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world.
“Two hundred goals, baby,” you murmured with pride, your lips brushing against the crown of her head. You didn’t need to see her face to know how she reacted. The image of her shy smile, the faint blush that always crept across her cheeks when she felt overwhelmed by love or praise, played vividly in your mind. True to form, she burrowed deeper into your chest, hiding her expression in the safety of your embrace.
“Todo para ti,” Alexia whispered softly, her voice carrying an almost reverent tone.
You smiled, touched by her sincerity, but you weren’t about to let her downplay her own greatness. “That’s kind of you, beautiful girl,” you replied, your fingers tracing soothing patterns up and down her back. “And I’m honoured you feel that way. But this – this achievement – it’s yours. Let yourself have it.”
Alexia shook her head against your chest, her determination evident even in her gentle protest. “No,” she said firmly. “You did so much for me – getting me back onto the pitch, helping me feel comfortable again. I wouldn’t have done this without you.”
Her stubbornness made you laugh, a warm chuckle rumbling through your chest as you hugged her tighter. “Baby,” you drawled playfully, exaggerating your plea. “Please, just let yourself be proud of what you’ve done. For me, for you, for everyone.”
She hesitated for just a moment before responding, and when she did, you could feel the mischievous grin spreading across her face, her cheek shifting slightly against your skin. “Nope,” Alexia said, a smirk lacing her tone.
Her stubbornness was as endearing as it was exasperating, and you couldn’t help but hold her closer, your heart full as you soaked in the warmth of her love, her gratitude, and her quiet refusal to ever take all the credit.
“So stubborn,” you teased, a warm laugh bubbling up as Alexia’s fingers found your waist, her pinch drawing a surprised squeal from your lips.
“Eres el indicado para hablar,” she countered, gasping between her own bursts of laughter, her voice tinged with mock indignation. Her words spilled out in a playful rush, her accent wrapping around them in a way that made your chest tighten with affection. She lifted her head, her eyes sparkling with mischief as they locked with yours.
“Me? Stubborn?” you asked, feigning innocence as you raised a brow.
“Sí,” she shot back, her grin widening as she shifted to straddle your hips, her weight settling comfortably against you. “Who’s the one who refuses to let me take care of anything when we’re home? Or insists on staying up late just to make sure I’m okay after a game? Hmm?”
You opened your mouth to argue but closed it just as quickly, unable to deny her words when she was staring down at you with that knowing look, her hands now resting firmly on your chest. “Okay, fine,” you admitted with a soft chuckle. “Maybe I’m a little stubborn. But only because I love you.”
Alexia’s playful smirk softened, her gaze turning tender as she leaned forward. “Lo sé,” she whispered, her lips brushing against yours in a kiss so gentle it sent a shiver down your spine.
When she pulled back, her expression was thoughtful, her fingers tracing small circles on your chest. “But you don’t have to do everything alone,” she murmured, her voice quieter now. “You take such good care of me, cariño. Let me do the same for you sometimes.”
Her words settled over you like a warm blanket, filling the space between you with a love that felt almost tangible. You reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before cupping her face in your hands. “You already do, Alexia,” you said softly. “In more ways than you know.”
Her smile was small but radiant, her cheeks tinged with that familiar blush that always melted your heart. She leaned down again, this time pressing her forehead to yours, her breaths mingling with your own as she closed her eyes.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.
“You’ll never have to find out,” you promised, pulling her closer until her body moulded perfectly against yours. You felt her exhale deeply, her tension melting away as she relaxed into your embrace.
The two of you lay there in silence for a moment, her heartbeat syncing with yours. Finally, Alexia broke the quiet, her voice tinged with amusement. “You know,” she said, her lips twitching into a smirk, “for someone who says I’m stubborn, you seem to enjoy it.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Only because it means you never back down when it matters.”
She raised an eyebrow, the playful glint in her eyes impossible to miss as her smirk widened into something irresistibly mischievous. “Like now?” she teased, her voice dipping just enough to make your heart skip a beat. The challenge in her tone was clear, and it sent a thrill racing through you.
“Like now,” you replied, your voice low and warm, laced with affection and a hint of surrender. Without waiting for another word, you reached up, your fingers threading into her hair as you pulled her down into another kiss.
This one was deeper, more deliberate, a kiss that spoke of everything you didn’t need to say aloud. Her lips were soft and insistent, moving against yours with a perfect blend of tenderness and fire. Her hands slid to your shoulders, gripping you as if she wanted to pour every ounce of her love, her passion, her stubborn devotion into the moment.
Her weight shifted slightly, pressing her closer against you as the kiss deepened. Time seemed to slow, the world outside your embrace fading until there was nothing left but the warmth of her touch, the taste of her on your lips, and the quiet hum of love filling the space between you.
When she finally pulled back, her breathing was heavier, her cheeks flushed a delicate pink that made her look even more radiant. She lingered just inches away, her forehead brushing against yours as her smirk softened into a smile. “See?” she murmured, her voice a little breathless. “Being stubborn isn’t so bad.”
You laughed softly, your hands sliding down to rest on her waist, holding her steady. “Not when it’s you,” you admitted, brushing your thumb over the curve of her hip. “You make it impossible not to love every part of you – even the parts that drive me crazy.”
Alexia chuckled, her laughter vibrating through you as she pressed another quick, playful kiss to your lips. “Good,” she whispered, her grin returning. “Because you’re stuck with all of it.”
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yoomiwrites · 1 day ago
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We won³
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Summary: The war is won, yet you lost too much. And well – how much can you still win?
Note: And here we go, part 3! Since I have all of it already finished, might as well make it a daily update. And THANKS a lot for every like, comment and message! I see you and I am THANKFUL. If you have more ideas, for stories or anything, hit em into my little box on my profile. I also have a Silco Story rotting on my phone since season 1, but idk if anyone would be up for that.
The rebuilding continued, and life finally found a rhythm that felt normal—or at least as close to normal as things could get. Ekko worked tirelessly with the Firelights, but the urgency of survival had faded into the background. With it, so had the moments he used to share with you.
At first, he didn’t notice the shift. You still checked in occasionally, bringing him food or teasing him about overworking. But those visits became less frequent, your easy laughter and steady presence replaced by quick smiles and polite excuses.
One evening, he sat alone in the Firelight base, absently tinkering with a small device. His thoughts drifted to you—how you used to be there, sitting across from him, filling the quiet with your chatter or just the comfort of your presence. The realization hit him suddenly: you weren’t around as much anymore.
And it scared him.
Ekko spent the next day looking for you, his mind racing with possibilities. Had something happened to you? Were you hurt? Or worse, were you pulling away because he’d taken you for granted?
When he couldn’t find you, he turned to Vi.
“Have you seen Y/N?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
Vi raised an eyebrow, leaning casually against the wall. “Yeah, they’re out.”
“Out where?”
“On a date.”
Her words hit him like a punch to the gut. A date? He blinked, stunned. “A date?” he echoed, his voice betraying his surprise.
Vi smirked at his reaction, though her tone softened. “What, you didn’t know? They’ve been trying to move on for a while now. Guess it’s working.”
Ekko stared at her, the weight of her words sinking in. He’d known—on some level—that you’d cared about him. He wasn’t blind to the way you’d looked at him, the way you were always there when he needed you. But he’d never let himself think too hard about it, too focused on the mission, too afraid of what it might mean.
Now, the thought of you moving on left him feeling... hollow.
Vi clapped a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Don’t screw this up, Ekko,” she said, her voice firm but not unkind. “If you don’t want to lose them, you better figure out what you actually feel.”
He nodded absently, her words ringing in his ears. For the first time, Ekko realized what he might lose if he let you drift away completely—and he wasn’t sure he could handle that.
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phyrestartr · 2 days ago
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Deal With It | Gojo Satoru x M!Reader (TEASER)
CW: Arranged marriage, SELF-HARM (on and off-screen), hurt/comfort, angst, drama, self-loathing, blood and gore, implied depression, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation #NSFW, probably top Gojo, probably bottom reader, maybe switch idk, idek if they'll bang it out tbh lol, angst with a happy ending, reader is a sorcerer, time skips, time progression, relationship development, student era into teacher era Note: I got this request to make a story revolving around Gojo and an arranged marriage to the reader (but bro is in love with Getou sob.gif), and I've been RUMINATING on it for forever. I think I finally have a good idea of who the reader is/what their chemistry is like with Gojo, so I'm happy to post a wee bit of a teaser to motivate myself! Let me know your thoughts---I'm finding that I absolutely love writing for Gojo, so I'm down to write more LOL. He's a very fun, complex character.
Deal With It
“So, you really don’t care what he thinks?” Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. “Even I think he was kinda harsh.”
You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold stone of the college walls. “He’s got a thing for that black-haired guy.”
“Getou.” 
“Sure.” You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully you’d brought an umbrella that day. 
“And you’re not bothered he’s in love with Getou?” Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but. 
“Dunno.” And that was the truth. “He’s not even my type. I’d rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.” 
“Ooh, that'll hurt his ego.” Shoko smiled. “Well, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.”
You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”
“Forever is a long time,” You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.
“Hah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?” The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. “Pft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.” 
“Even if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,” you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. “You need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it.” 
You heard Gojo, your fiancé, scoff and shuffle behind you. “I just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?” 
Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. “Yeah, got it.” 
“And Suguru's better than you,” he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. “Don't forget that either.” 
You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice. 
“This is starting to bore me,” you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found translucent red coating the tips. 
“Pah. I was gonna say the same!” You watched his reflection turn away. “Good luck trying to impress me.” 
I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him. Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day.
--
Feel free to comment on this post if you want to be tagged for the full version!
@kamote-kuneho @tr4nnie @silvern1006
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slowcatsisland · 2 days ago
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Trafalgar D. Water Law; Ideal Type Deep Dive
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The first thing that comes to my mind is that audio - “ I need to find my darling husband!” “What do you see in that guy?” “He makes me laugh.”
Law absolutely needs to be with someone who can make him laugh.
Throughout the post time skip arcs, it has been shown that Law -
Has a fear surrounding accepting and giving love
Believes that there must be a reason for earning love/giving love to someone
Law’s character had the most development in Dressrosa and Wano that could propel him towards healing with the defeat of Doflamingo, the revenge of Corazon’s death, and the closure statement that Sengoku says to him: “Don’t try to find a reason for someone’s love.”
Law has to heal first, or have a partner that will help him heal. To me, Law wouldn’t even think of committing to a relationship until the end of Dressrosa/Wano.
Law surrounds himself with goofy people, so it makes sense for him to fall for a goofy person.
This person would probably be on his crew as his trust issues wouldn’t allow for him falling for someone that has other loyalties that could easily be prioritized over him and end up betraying him.
Law is strict about subordinate dynamics, which is why you being on his crew may also hinder him from wanting to pursue something with you because he’s supposed to be your boss essentially.
Law would want someone that is smart, textbook smart like he is, but I also see this not being important if he truly runs into the ‘one’ that brings him the most peace.
I mean by that if you can’t hold and add to a conversation about idk the anatomy of the human body and the effects of a certain ailment, you’re not totally disqualified from his radar.
Someone who could hold emotional conversations with him is good. Even if he probably wouldn’t want the conversation. He’s kinda icky with feelings. Someone that could tell him how he feels, how they feel, and how that changes the context of whatever situation they are in. He needs someone like that.
I used to be opposed to the thought, but I believe Law needs someone truly soft. That means you could still fight if needed, but would rather not yk. It’s okay if you’re not out here swinging a machete trying to bloody the streets with your foes. That aspect of humanity that you have is something Law needs more prevalently in his life.
I remember reading an analysis of Law’s type and the creator said something similar to “Law needs someone who wouldn’t pull the trigger, just like Corazon didn’t.” I don’t know how much I agree with it but I think it’s worth mentioning.
Someone patient, but stubborn. Someone who is willing to wait for him to be ready to accept his feelings and won’t leave him when he makes a mistake (trust me he will make many mistakes in a relationship). Someone who also won’t be an idle figure in situations, you have an opinion and will voice it even if it doesn’t agree with Law’s perspective. You think the crew should help him on something rather than wait on the submarine and him go off alone? Tell him and make him listen, even if he shuts you down.
Law needs someone positive that can look at things with a glass half full mindset. Someone who looks at the rain and thinks about how the plants are getting water, someone who watches the snow fall but are commenting about how Penguin and Sachi are making snow angles and Bepo is really comfortable in the temperature. You even out his pessimism and bring light.
You’d have to get along with the other crew mates, especially Bepo too. Bepo is so important to Law, and if Bepo didn’t like you it already taints Law’s image of you.
You were always kind to him. Even before he invited you onto his crew, he identified your nature and could make a note about how you’re different from the majority of people he’s met.
Preferably, you’d be goofy, but not too loud. I feel like Law gets uncomfortable around those that are crazy extroverted- kinda like Luffy. Sometimes it reminds him too much of the Donquixote Pirates with all their flamboyance. That doesn’t mean if you have this quality you’d be off the list, he would just need it in smaller chunks or around the crew to be acclimated to it.
Grr, someone that ends up reminding him of Rosinante. Someone that Law knows is just a good person, regardless of their past.
If he asked you “why do you love me?” And you couldn’t give him an answer, you’re perfect.
He needs someone to be his safe space. Someone that could sit in his office while he works, content in the shared silence. Someone that he could ramble about his coin collection to without the worry of being judged. Someone that he could let touch his chest and have them run their fingers through his hair without worry that he’ll be harmed. Someone that will soothe him after he has a nightmare or read out loud to him until he falls asleep.
Someone that cares for him- this loops back to the stubbornness. Someone that tries to make him go to sleep, to make him eat, to make him take breaks from working. To make him live happily, something that he’s starved himself of truly ever since he was 10. He prolly won’t act like it, but you showing you care for him makes his heart bleed suffocatingly.
Someone that can show him how to love again and what it feels like to love again omg. The destruction of Flevance and the manipulation of the Donquixote Pirates so cruelly changed his perception of love.
Law wouldn’t want you to be a big shot in canon. If your bounty was rather substantial compared to his crew and him, or you had a crazy ability- it would make him worry awfully. He’d probably try to keep you out of harms way even more than he does with the rest of his crew.
Someone he can tell everything to and trust that they’ll keep it a secret.
Someone that likes the cold, likes the ocean. Living on a submarine as a pirate kinda requires this lol.
Omg imagine you’re from the North Blue too. He picks you up around the same time he does Penguin, Sachi, and Bepo. You’re one of the original members. The connection I feel like he would have with you would make him more willing to fall for you…
I feel like Law would like someone with longer hair. If he could watch them brush it, curl it around his finger, watch them create a hairstyle for the day. Small acts of domesticity in life.
Someone with large, doe eyes. He can see so much emotion through them, they hold so much weight. It reminds him of Bepo. (lol)
Someone aware of their own emotions and are in tune with their wants and needs.
I feel like he would fluster really easily if you had a gummy smile. Yk those big, pure smiles where the gums showed. When your eyes crinkly and your teeth are bared so naturally and without malice. It’s so beautiful to see.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
He’s so broken
Mwah 😽
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glossykissies · 14 hours ago
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jim getting a little jealous and mean ouuu i need him pleek
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idk about mean i think jim would just get super passive aggressive buuuuuut …
deep into the relationship once he works out that being mean can be a foreplay kinda thing ?? hmm … the first few times he feels too guilty to be mean to you properly, his brow getting all furrowed from stress as he stares you down, urging the taunts to come out his mouth, but after a few conversations and him getting more comfortable he finds a way to make it work for him — because if there’s one thing he loves, it’s making you happy, and this… somehow made you happy.
you always start off with the giggles, trying to wiggle your way back under his arm after you both have to leave the office late, walking to the car in the dark.
“i did not flutter my eyelashes!” you whine, chortling and attempting to lift his arm to slot yourself back underneath to no avail.
“yeah! no, of course you didn’t. wouldn’t do that, would you?” his tone is for the most part jokey, but there was that edge of iciness to it that told you he was actually a little jealous.
“i think you’re seeing what you want to see.” you nod wisely as the two of you arrive to the car and he slows his pace, squinting a little with a tight, scorned smile.
“oooo, but imagine if i said that to you.” he provokes, pressing his lips together. “you wouldn’t like it very much.”
you pout, but from the subtle look in his eye — you know where this will eventually head.
“jim.” you whine as he walks you backward until your back is pressed to the cool door of the car.
“what?” he shrugs, smile slipping off his face — his usual warmth sliding away. “you’re so flirty. i think that’s mean.” he shrugs, leaning down from his tall height to brush his lips over yours. “i know i’m pretty lenient with you, honey — but don’t push it, okay? don’t be a mean girl.” he doesn’t kiss you, simply moving his mouth to your forehead to kiss there instead before pushing off the car casually, speaking like that all never happened.
“anyways, you want food on the way home or no?”
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evermorewest · 3 days ago
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Lowkey thinking about two Vi x female or gn reader concepts I made up and wondering if anybody can write it🧐
So like SPOILERS kinda
So what about the reader being a childhood friend and when the explosion happened Silco also took the reader in and became like this big sister for Jinx and a stable base (if that makes sense) anyways they were really close😭. After Jinx sacrifices herself (the reader was helping with the war) she meets up with Vi and Vi tells her that Jinx is dead. The reader is kind of taken a back and repeatedly in denial keeps asking "what do you mean, what do you mean, Vi what are you talking about". Like you guys know that one video of Jennifer Lawrence eating hot wings and she asks that? Like how she asks it with a little giggle of denial? That idea just make it way more depressing, devastating and dramatic. Then the reader starts beating on Vi's chest (imagine she took off the armor) saying " Vi you're lying " then the reader starts to break down still saying that she's lying. Vi then holds her cheek drying the tears and looks into the eyes of the reader and with the one specific, sympathetic look, the reader knows and absolutely loses it and Vi has to comfort her and Caitlyn isn't too far watching.
OR OR (and)
Childhood reader x Vi (grew up with Jinx) and they had something going on when they were little and when it's confirmed to the reader that Vi and Caitlyn have something going on she wants to kill Caitlyn practically ( get rid of her somehow to keep Vi to herself). The reader has powers as well (practically blue flames and she can control if she decides to burn something or not but when she gets really angry the flames turn red and they engulf her whole body). The thing is with this while the enforcers hold the reader down with chains they think they've caught the reader and then Caitlyn asks what is it that we want. And you guys know that one song called Brutus by The Buttress? The reader is fueled by jealously and the life Caitlyn gets to have. When the reader is answering the question (still using her own name) she uses her flames to burn onto the chains and the enforcers holding them and slowly starts floating up into the air saying that one verse from the song
"My name is Brutus and my name means heavy
So with a heavy heart
I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my enemy
My whole life, you were a teacher and friend to me
Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy
I, too, have a destiny
This death will be art
The people will speak of this day from near and afar
This event will be history, and I'll be great too
I don't want what you have, I want to be you" then throws her flames in the direction of Caitlyn and the enforcers.
And we may never know if the reader set her flames to kill or not (even though I said she wanted to kill Caitlyn) BUT WE MAY NEVER KNOW 🤣😛
Idk if y'all gon think this one's cringe but I just needed to share my ideas 😭😂
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vampirehizzies · 6 months ago
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random thought but there was once this couple in my junior year biology class who were really sweet towards each other & always laughing with/teasing one another and i honestly couldn't tell if they were a couple or really good best friends (until they confirmed they were a couple later on lmao). and that's honestly the goal for all my fictional ships/hope for my irl serious relationships tbh
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itshomobirb · 13 days ago
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if my parents keep talking to me im going to (remembers that suicide jokes are bad for mental health) go outside and dig a hole to narnia
#borbtalks#'borb u got a letter from vsp. why are you paying for vsp. i dont think u need it bc of xyz. oh you're getting mail from y insurance?#they're a good company. im also covered under them. are they cheaper than ur previous one? they must be. did u know medicare has a page#online where u can compare all the plans? well did you? ik you've been on medicare longer than me but idk if you knew :/#sooo do u have a valid drivers license? oh when did u get it renewed? when does it expire? we were looking at car insurance earlier...#oh btw when are they gonna reevaluate u for disability? do u know? when did they last reevaluate u? when do they reevaluate others?#ANYWAY. what if i brought over x's dog. the dog that stresses ur cats out so much that they puke everywhere and spend all day hiding :)#wdym it'll stress [cat] out. what if he. didn't get stressed? :)'#like SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP#cant even walk into the bathroom without her trying to talk to me. can't make dinner w/o her trying to talk to me#and of course im the bad guy in telling her not to stress the cat out#just by saying 'vet says he's not supposed to get stressed out. he's at a higher risk for blockage if he does#which will KILL him.'#same woman who sat next to me while i was the phone w/ the phone company. petting the cat and whispering 'oh borb abuses u doesn't he?#maybe ill just steal you away one day. keep u away from borb. oh yes borb treats u oh so horribly.'#and my dad. sitting on the other side of me. said absolutely nothing.#i get it. im the family's designated fuck up!! the designated brat !!!! and no one gives a shit if my feelings get hurt !!!!!!!#i swear. my mother could smack me and everyone would rush to her side and comfort her stinging hand
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pumakaji64 · 8 months ago
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my mom has cancer. i kinda had a feeling already. hopefully it's early.
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many-gay-magpies · 6 months ago
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i am becoming increasingly sure as time goes on that my gender is Not Cis but its like. not enough for me to do anything like god forbid tell my parents. not bc they wouldn't be ACCEPTING but because i don't feel like they'd UNDERSTAND and trying to explain it to them would be too much work when i A) barely even know how to describe it to MYSELF and B) feel comfortable enough being described as a woman/girl/female/whatever. like if im fine enough being called a girl and im comfortable in my body and don't yet feel a need to use pronouns other than she/her then what's the point of trying to explain to my mom that i find the concept of gender pretty much inapplicable to myself/kind of confining and i feel more like an amorphous forest creature than a Girl and i wouldnt mind being perceived more masculine sometimes by society at large and gender questions on forms make me uncomfortable because i'm never totally sure what to answer.
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barry2018-2023 · 7 months ago
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I just came out to my coworker of two years in the most awkward way he asked me why I'm cutting all my hair off and I said "well you know the kind of woman who usually has short hair? I'm one of them."
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werepuppy-steve · 8 months ago
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had my stepdad's funeral today (not my current stepdad) and hoooooo boy the abandonment issues are in full swing :)
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genderjester · 7 months ago
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It truly is nobody's fault but my brain has such a deeply annoyed kneejerk response when someone overexplains something very simple i already know to me. Even if i know they mean well. But it always makes me feel like the other person sees me as childish or stupid 💀 Same with some ways some ppl go awww at me like im not a dog. Anyways this is something i just need to figure out how to communicate but its just something that frustrates meeeeeee.
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thedreadvampy · 1 year ago
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I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?
like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life
#red said#it's not to my taste. tbh#content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase#hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry#it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of#drags it back into midtempo sludge for me#also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is#it's not though????? it's super not????#anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it#every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe#which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness!#but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge#i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me#like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL#MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her#like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate.#but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP#and it's not the lyrics it really is the music#heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
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wildevenusian · 2 months ago
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(​it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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