#idk if I buy into this yet. But I'm throwing it out there bc it occurred to me and I'm legit “can the figurative bookies run the numbers”

[captainofthetidesbreath]

[pinching the bridge of my nose] seeing as he's not actually Moc Weepe, can the bookies run for me the odds on his name actually being, perchance, Ned?

[agayconcept]

.

[musicinthebranchesoftheveins]

I wish I was making this shit up

[tau1tvec]

S/O to a few of my favorite TS3CC Creators

I know this community is small, and therefore doesn't get as much love and attention as it deserves, but know that it is alive and well, much like my love for it, and it's many thanks to these ppl for keeping it fresh and fun even today.

@simtanico literally what would my sims be without you and your amazing sliders, slider fixes, and conversions.

@rollo-rolls you always work so hard to keep our sims looking stylish, I know a lotta people in this community appreciate you as much as I do!

@johziii you put so much love into your CC as you do your sims, homes and gameplay, you're truly the whole package!

@sim-songs an absolute legend for helping revive the Maxis Match ts3 community!

@nectar-cellar an absolute legend, period.

@imamiii idk how you do it, but you make this game look how it probably would had it been released today. Whether it's your gameplay posts, or your CC, I know when I see your post on my dash, I'm bound to be blown away.

@sourlemonsimblr still can't tell whether we're playing the same game, bc everything you post looks like The Sims 10, but I am so glad you're willing to share your CC with us, so maybe one day we will be playing the same game, lol.

@pleaseputnamehere just thought I'd let you know that I kiss your nosemasks goodnight as I tuck them into bed.

@xiasimla an amazing talented and devoted creator all around, every download post is a WIN.

@martassimsbook you keep my love for ts3's buy/build mode alive!

@billsims-cc ty for never giving up on us. 😭😭😭

@bioniczombie for sharing your amazing conversions, and helping run one of my favorite ts3cc finds blogs!

@satellite-sims although you aren't too active right now, I miss you, and I love your conversions sm. The extra work you put into making them the absolute best quality, just like all your posts is so loved and appreciated.

@simbouquet your mods and fixes are such a MUST, you always know exactly what this game needs, and execute it like a pro.

@phoebejaysims another amazing modder keeping this game truly interesting, ty so much for your dedication.

@criisolatex you're like some ethereal being sent to Earth on a mission to make ts3 the best it can be, and you're kind enough to share it with us.

@nemiga-sims-archive you pop out every once and a while like an all year round Santa giving us presents to throw into our games. TY!

@olomaya you work so hard to expand and improve and also make the gameplay in ts3 a lot more interesting.

@twinsimming you know you carry ts3 simblr, right? 💕

@thesweetsimmer111 besides being just the most talented animator I've ever seen in any modding community, your dedication to the youngest and ignored age groups is most admirable, ty.

@flotheory yet another talented and devoted modder giving ts3 the love and attention it deserves. I just know the devs would be so proud.

@greenplumbboblover you've always got something big up your sleeve, your ambition knows no bounds, and the ts3 community is so lucky to have you.

I'm likely forgetting some folks, so I'll probably add some more when I remember, and ty again everyone on this list for working so hard to keep this game alive, and fun, and freeeeeee!

[skelly-words]

more bf!sukuna hcs, but he’s insufferable and stuck in my head. this is part 4…

warning: some NSFW, slight intox, minors DNI

NEVER lets you drive. he’s so misogynistic. “females are bad drivers” ass bitch. "you're gonna wrap us around a tree."

claims to despise when you baby him e.g. forehead kisses, scratching his back to put him to sleep, even fucking cuddling. don’t believe that shit for a second but pretend to and stop until he starts acting grateful.

way too confrontational to be taken out in public. just pretend you don’t know him when he’s pulling a gun on someone who stepped on his shoes.

you’d be broke if you bailed him out of jail every fucking time. at least let him marinate there all night before folding or call his dad to do it instead.

so messy. it's unintentional, but sukuna just leaves a trail of disorder in his wake. throw pillows on the floor, shoes in the walkway, and always leaving the lights on despite complaining about the utility bill.

throw him outside to do yardwork or something. he loves that shit. putting in a couple fruit trees, maybe stepping stones. by the end of the summer you have a tiered garden with slate retaining walls and an automatic irrigation system.

why does he have a green thumb? he's in a secret competition with the neighbors for prettiest lawn. and yet, you manage to kill the little succulent garden he planted for you.

a minimalist (derogatory). sukuna is always trying to throw your trinkets and knickknacks away when you're not paying attention.

he loves getting a little fashion show after you buy new clothes. it's one of the few cute things he'll admit to enjoying. it doesn't matter if the outfit is skimpy or modest, hearts are popping out of his eyes like in a fucking cartoon.

doesn't apologize under any circumstances. the word 'sorry,' isn't in his lexicon. however, he will leave his card on the counter before heading to work and pick up flowers on the way home and make reservations at your favorite restaurant. don't expect to hear a real apology though.

super duper tender-headed. you can't even detangle it without him whining. might cry if you try to do braids, twists, any kinda style. fucking pussy

irritating asf. actually hate him, idk why i’m writing this. i'd probably poison him and collect the life insurance.

UMM nsfw

calling sukuna something corny and dominant in bed (sir/daddy/king/etc.) out of the blue would make him nut. and he isn’t even embarrassed about it at all.

incapable of pulling off a quickie. i think this is more endearing than aggravating. he can't hit it right in just ten minutes. he'll ask for more time. and a little more. then it's been an hour and you're likely running late for something.

thinks you're hottest bent over (i'm not even projecting rn bc my ass is flat). don't worry, he thinks your face is cute, missionary is great too. but if you wore one of those pillow case ass house dresses with no panties he'd go crazy. i hate to air him out like this, but it's true. i gotta link this shit so you know what i'm talking about. makes him feral. maybe i am projecting bc i luv those dresses.

but anyway, he'd fall for the 'bend and snap' so bad (legally blonde reference). these are basically crack, sorry

occasionally forgets that foreplay is a thing and tries to go straight from light frenching to stickin it.

i feel like sukuna’s sunday nights are spent getting really high and kissing on you for hours. he just gets the munchies dude. leaving dewy spots of saliva on all your exposed skin. once he’s tasted that, your clothes is peeled off so he can drool on the rest of you. he doesn’t even realize how much of a tease he is. his mouth suctioned to your inner thigh… maybe i should just write this as its own thingy

p sure i said this already, but he’s a biter. gnaws on you like a mf chew toy. it’s an oral fixation thing, if you don’t like it buy him lots of lollipops and tic tacs.

ok i have to stop before i gross myself out. tyty for reading <3<3<3 have a wonderful day.

masterlist if you wanna read the rest

[moodywyrm]

hi hi!

first of all i LOVE how you write chubby reader x abby like it makes me feel so validated and happy!

i know you have a drabble abt abby touching herself while eating reader out but i have more ideas!!

after reader realized how turned on and needy abby gets while sloppily eating her out, she buys a bullet vibe or clit sucking vibe for abby. maybe reader even has a remote for the vibe so when reader is riding abby’s face you can control her vibe settings. i just imagine abby going absolutely FERAL moaning into your pussy as she cums from the taste of you and the overstimulation of the vibe 🤭

thank u!!! I'm glad other big girls are enjoying my content <3

and dude this one made my head Spin. bc I think abby owns a couple of toys for you two, including a powerful wand vibe that she tends to use on you when her strap is pressed all the way inside you and ur thighs are trembling at her waist.

u love how enthusiastic abby is when it comes to giving head, because she's so fucking good. but lately, there's a not-insignificant part of you that feels bad for not reciprocating as much. and u know, u know, she gets off on getting you off, you've seen the remnants of her orgasm between her thighs after she's spent hours between ur legs. but you want to do something for her. so one day, when ur sitting on top of her face (also I really wanna talk about the first time she finally managed to convince you to sit on her face because you'd been so scared that you'd hurt her but that's for another drabble maybe idk) and she's rocking ur fucking world, u reach for the fully charged wand vibrator you'd stuff underneath the pillow before she got home. her eyes are closed, so engrossed in your pussy that she doesn't even noticed until you reach back and nestle the vibrator against her clit, waiting to turn it on. she looks at you and you ask her for permission, and the second she gives you a lil nod, you turn the vibrator on.

and abby moans so fucking loud, right into your cunt, the vibrations making you jolt on top of her. the feeling of the vibrator against her clit is making her head fuzzy, and the taste of you on her tongue is pushing her closer and closer to the edge. she's so fucking needy and horny and she wraps both arms around ur thighs, pulling you onto her mouth even more. she's fucking her tongue into you, her nose bumping against your clit so deliciously, and you're shaking on top of her, pressing the vibrator against her even harder. she's trembling, thighs twitching around the vibrator, trying to stave off her orgasm.

she's whining into you, clawing at your thighs while she works you over. and you're getting so close, grinding on her just so, the plush fat of ur thighs squishing against her head and you just know you're about to snap. so you turn the vibrator up, pressing it against abby's cunt even harder, pushing her over the edge. she's shaking, whining, moaning into you while you tip over and cum into her mouth, wailing and clenching on top of her. abby was floating, in fucking heaven, going through one of her most intense orgasms yet while her girl falls apart above her, looking as gorgeous as ever. she's cumming for what feels like forever, cunt clenching and leaking against the vibrator, hips bucking away from the stimulation, all the while watching your tits shake and ur mouth drop open from your perch on her face.

when u roll off her, turning the vibrator off n throwing it to the side while abby sits up, panting and bracing herself against the bed. she turns back to look at you, smiling all dopey n sex-hazed. "fuck, baby, you're so fucking good to me."

n she turns over, hovering over you and pressing kisses to your neck all the way up to your lips, massaging the fat of ur hips and holding you close <3

[irritablepoe]

what do other people get wrong about poe?

YES MORE POE QUESTIONS!! :D thank you anon, you're really given me all the excuses to ramble lmao

tbh there are not many people on here that get him wrong, at least i haven't seen much? though ofc there are other websites *looks at tiktok with squinted eyes* that reduce him to being a sugar daddy boytoy, which... i mean it's funny. but it's also not everything that he is obviously, especially bc i don't think poe really has a concept of money tbh? like i think he has ridiculously expensive essential things (i say essential but i mean i don't think a mansion is particularly essential lmao) and he also buys things he considers important to show off his abilities, like for example the manuscript, but looking at the anthology (which isn't canon but lets pretend it is for a sec) he only has limited clothing and other than many other rich people would he doesn't just hire someone to get them for him yk? (he also lets mori pay i think right? lmao) in conclusion - he spends his money, yes, but he's not throwing it out the window (debatable tho, i'd call 20 mil a waste but he can do it ig?), nor does he spend it much on his own needs.

many people also forget that yes, he is whiny, but he is also extremely dangerous! his ability could trap nearly everyone and make them defenseless! even chuuya spends a while in poe's book and he's highly capable and intelligent! ranpo was near giving up! this is extremely important to his character and a severe bruise on his confidence! i think many forget that

he is a skilled snipper, can replace a car engine (bro watched one yt tutorial and rolled with it i'm so sure about this) and ofc he is a detective and a writer that impressed ranpo (and can also write a mystery in around 15-30 minutes) and is ALSO the architect for the guild. so. yeah. he's multi-talented as shit, i think people should appreciate that more

also (this list is never gonna end lol) i think people mistake his anxiety in social settings for being shy and i just.. don't think he is shy per se? he's quite boastful when it comes to his writing and his ability that comes with it and on the perfect crime trio case he had no problem at all speaking in public and even with the police. i mean an anxious person that would be worried about how he was perceived he would be worried that he'd be found out to be a criminal which he IS, but he just is so sure of himself that he's left no traces that he's just like "*shrug* yeah that happened, anyway, how are you officer? :D" not quite like that ofc but yk i just think he's more anxious in the way that he hates groups of people bc they overwhelm him quickly in regards to noise and conversation (especially small talk i'd guess) and that he just thinks many people he doesn't take interest in are annoying? that might be a lil controversial opinion tbh but i'll gladly remind you of this panel:

(i couldn't find the official translation help)

tho i also have to say that he calls himself shy here so could be both idk:

hm, yeah i think that's it for now. in relations to ranpo i don't like how people sugarcoat them a lot tbh, i know i've said it before but this really bugs me, like yes they're getting along quite well but i wouldn't call their relationship healthy at all? at least not yet, though i can see that it could work very well eventually. i think poe is doing all these things gladly for ranpo but ranpo has to open up way more and tell poe that he appreciates him, like please, this man is so down bad for you. also pls communicate so that poe doesn't lose himself in his obsession, this can't be healthy come onnn, bro has isolated himself for yearssss

yep, i think that's it, ty anon!!!! <33

[bonny-kookoo]

Bonny the antique store au (? Idk it seems like a good explanation) seems great I'm a slut for those types of relationships and au 😩 are you maybe going to write this? Bc i would love to read even a little drabble of them

I guess we can start with drabbles for them? Dunno, the AU doesnt even have a name yet...

"Hel~lo!" You chirp, hands on the counter he works behind as he turns around to face you, putting down any flowers he'd had in his hands until now. "You left this at Jimin's yesterday!" You tell him, holding out a small white plastic bag, almost knocking over a box with business cards.

"What's that?" He wonders, taking the bag from you with both hands a lot more carefully, looking inside it.

"Care stuff, for your Tattoo!" You tell him. "There's a small bottle with lotion for it, you should use it as soon as the protection skin comes off." You explain him, looking around the shop.

"Oh. Thanks, I guess I forgot to take the bag with me after." He chuckles, bowing a bit politely as he places the bag down under the counter until he'll finish his shift later on. "Thanks for bringing it over, you didn't have to." He thanks, and you nod.

"I know, but I wanted to." You shrug, before there's a more impish grin growing on your face. "Buuut..." You start, and he crosses his arms with a smile, leaning back. "Say, you wouldn't be able to maybe.. put the giant ass duck down in the antique shop somewhere where no one would immediately see it? You know?" You try to sweet-talk, and he laughs.

"Just ask me to hold it back for you to buy later." He says, but you visibly deflate at that.

"No, Jimin's gonna get mad." You huff. "I've got too many kid-stuff at home already, he told me I'm not allowed to spend any more money on that shit." You mumble, crossing your arms as well now.

"But you're an adult, no?" Jungkook says, walking around the counter to get closer to a specific bucket full of pink roses, picking some of them up before his hands reach for other smaller flowers and décor, creating a tiny simple bouquet in his hands, ink on his fingers familiar to you. "You can choose what you want to do. And if those things make you happy, why deny them yourself?" He wonders.

"Cause it's dumb." You shrug. "Just like my dresses, and my skirts, and cat-shaped dishes at home." You say. "It's not a good use of money-" You start, when suddenly, he's close to you, hands moving yours to hold onto the small bouquet, his own fingers wrapping yours around the stems of the flowers bound together by simple brown string.

"Like I said. If you use it for things that make you happy-" He tells you, before looking from your hands to your eyes. "-then it's not wasted." He smiles, making you awfully shy. "I'll call my mom to put it in the back for now, so no one buys it. Alright?" Jungkook asks, and you nod almost in trance. It's like his earrings are hypnotizing you, the silver ring decorating his lower lip singing you a siren song.

"If you have a girlfriend- or boyfriend- can you like, tell me right now?" You ask, and his eyes widen, caught off guard.

"Hm? I don't- but why're you asking?" He wonders, trying to laugh off the sudden surprise.

"Cause you're making me grow one giant crush on you." You bluntly reveal, and he can't help but throw back his head, laughing freely.

You're really something else.

And he can't help but feel as if this 'crush' might just bloom in his heart as well.

[rellik24]

Okay so I got another PJO post bc the show came out and I'm loving it. I do have one little itty bitty problem with it tho so imma just say it.

Spoilers ahead for anyone who didn't read the books btw

Okay so I know that she movies are a disgrace and the show is our saving grace but like... I just finished watching the 3rd episode and one thing really bothered me. The part where they're at Aunty Em's, they're talking about the furies and they're literally calling them out by name. Isn't it that in the books, Annabeth literally has to shut Percy up from saying "Fury" or any of their names or it would summon them or let them know their location.

Idk if it's just me kinda bothered by how big of a deal they made names in the books and they just throw the names around no problem in the show. I know it might just me being weird about some random minor detail but I never heard anyone mention "the kindly ones".

Now I haven't re-read the books yet but I plan to but I'm like 99% sure that names hold a lot of power in the demigod world and that's why all the monsters call Percy by his full name but in the movie they just call him Percy Jackson.

Idk why I'm so frustrated by this. I feel like it should be a thing bc I feel like the name thing is important in their world if they made it such a point in the books.

And yes I know that the show isn't the book and the book isn't the show buy I'm pretty sure even in all Greek myths, it's a thing that names hold power and idk. I feel like they should stick with real myths and can change only pjo specific canon that doesn't relate to the myths and stuff like "Oh Percy pulled out his sword" in the book and "Percy picked up a rock" in the show bc that has nothing to do with myths.

Sorry it's such a long rant.just needed to get that out of my system

[alitgblog]

volume vii thoughts

as per usual I have complaints about the missed opportunities of casa

first things first, the casa boys' sprites looked bad to me when I saw that post fusebox made but after playing for like a minute, I was like nah actually they're quite fine. However, prettiest sprites they're competing with are Jin, Claudia, Oakley, Tyler, and Bea so the competition is rough. Also idk something is throwing me off with Shawn and especially Kyle's face shapes.

I think last post I made I said Hari at least got more of a chance than Tyler, but scratch that actually, it feels like they got the same chance because suddenly we're in casa and hardly any mention of him, even though he and my MC have kissed a few times already and she hasn't really rejected him fully over Jin yet? Don't know if anyone's in the boat of going all in with Hari but I'm curious what the gameplay is like for them.

So Emel has randomly decided to be annoyed at Oakley again (I'll replay for you next time Oakley 🥺) and it's clearly because the routes are merged now, which is such a shame because I do think Emel and Oakley could've worked it out and become a fun couple to watch on the real show (probably a boring one though that the audience would dump until after the show ended that their real personalities come out on social media and the public like them individually or at least understand why they were together so long). And I know it's not the most in character thing but I so appreciate it not being a complete 180 for the sake of plot because I'm trying to imagine this with all the couples given what I know about them from my playthrough and Emel/Oakley always have problems because she's uptight and wants more dramatics in their romance and he's chill so any little thing he ends up doing sets her off, sure, I can buy that Emel is a little delusional. Then Luna/Jin would have problems because Luna is less extroverted than Jin, serious, and irritable (which honestly, relatable) and so Jin does things for a laugh and she doesn't get it. So maybe he didn't wink at Bea or did it as a joke because he's being cheeky and she takes it as flirting and starts an argument. And from my playthrough, Sophie and Jack always feel like they're looking for an argument so that checks out too. It's not perfect, but I can feasibly see how one could justify this plot point.

absolutely living for flirting with Claudia in casa

pet peeve subjective raunchy races is back 😠 at least a couple of them are better, like they did have oldest boy in there at least. everything else though, I don't care that much to listen to them argue about who's the most well traveled or stylish.

I love Bea's personality, she's so fun. And tbh, I'm kind of liking her and Liam together. He's forward and she's into it, and it seems like he can keep up with her for now so I'm happy with that couple and I hope it doesn't turn to shit (it probably will).

also pay to win when losers are gonna throw a part anyway ok sure 🙄 I think I've mentioned this before but like personally I think if they're gonna do gem scenes, there has to be a logical ways out of it rather than just MC being like "nah I don't feel like it" and then they lose?? at least for other gem scenes it's like "tell Sophie off 10 gems" or "stay silent" like sure that's fine I guess.

anyway the chats with the boys were actually all pretty fun and short. I, as per usual, have immediately gravitated towards the foodie/chef character but I'll admit I see what y'all are saying about Kyle. Tbh even Max isn't too bad but I'm cautious bc I'm getting Eddie vibes (it's the blond and the gossip lol). And I like Liam, he's like a less cartoonishly silly Hamish (so he reminds me of Felix).

I really like the free party wear dress and this is the second volume in a row MC has accidentally matched with a boy not her partner lol

Bea first mentioning she was bi but not flirting, I just thought maybe they were setting her up to partner with Claudia/Theo depending on who you couple up with/if you're on one of their routes. But then oh the tension at the party when she's staring at MC saying she wants to turn heads and Claudia getting nervous??? loving that.

I don't know what it's like for the other boys but it seems like Shawn and Kyle are drama averse, which I think could be an interesting plot point for later coming back from casa of course, but I also don't know if I believe in fusebox's ability to incorporate that in the story. (once again, the day I write a fic and learn to code its all over for you fusebox)

I didn't pay for the Bea talking about Jin scene but I saw yall talk about Sienna and like I doubt it's going anywhere if it's behind a paywall? it's like the Brad and Christy stuff tbh like unless a bunch of dumped islanders are coming back at the end, I'm ignoring it.

anyway it truly is missing Jin hours again 😔

[thedisablednaturalist]

My parents found out about the present I bought myself for my birthday. I worked my max hours to afford it. I had it shipped to my bfs house so they wouldn't see it. Apparently I missed a receipt that was hidden in the box. Idk how they got it anyway cause I put the box out with the trash/recycling. My mom was being so cruel about it and how I keep buying myself "lavish" gifts (most stuff I buy for fun is like $10-$50 max). I always plan my purchases and have never missed a credit card payment. Most of my money goes towards doctors visits, medication, car maintenance and gas, accessibility items/ergonomic stuff, cat food and litter, and hygiene. Recently I stopped most of my subscriptions save for a cheap minecraft server. The bulk of my pay goes into savings which have really grown since I got my raise. I also give my parents $400 in rent each month. I'm trying to save up for a recliner to replace my bed but I don't want to use the money I've already put away.

Like ok, maybe I'm not mr.frugal. maybe i sometimes buy more expensive things because they're more convenient (like already cut vegetables/fruit or preprepared meals) but like my hands fucking hurt and sometimes I don't have the spoons to feed myself. Maybe I fall prey to impulse purchases once in a while. Im learning and I'm trying to learn how to budget bc now I have to also pay for insurance until I can get on medicaid.

My mom acts like I don't care. She sees amazon packages come for me and think theyre all toys or expensive skincare or junk when its actually body wipes for when I cant shower/so i dont come back from the field to the office all stinky. Its a trash can I can keep on my bedshelf so I dont throw trash onto the floor instead. Its knee braces because my knees fucking suck. Once in a while Ill see something on sale that ive been wanting for a while and will grab it. And the most expensive skincare I use is $20 for a jar that lasts me 3 months. I have to keep my skin clear or ill pick and have scabs and blood all over my face again. I spend money on drag because it MAKES me money. Last time I got paid $100 from the venue and $50 in tips. One time I got paid $300 from the venue (i dont remember how much in tips).

Im trying my best. Im working with 3 government agencies rn to get a job and get health coverage. Im working my ass off at my job when i probably shouldnt be working (my mom laughed when I mentioned this). I'm constantly doing things to earn me money or to make life a bit less painful. Even streaming is a desperate attempt to make a career/side gig out of something I enjoy and doesn't make me flare up. I only watch shows when im with my bf or when im doing chores or working. I rarely play video games. When I flare I lay in bed and scroll Tumblr or play a mindless dress up game where I only have to move my thumb. I cry almost everyday. I cry on the way to work. I cry holding my cat in so much pain i cant move.

The only big frivilous purchases I've made is the present and a new graphics card (I haven't replaced my old one in a decade). The present cost $230 and the graphics card cost $800. Both of these I saved for. I might buy a nice skirt once in a while but thats pretty much it. I also spread out big purchases over time when I can.

Am I spoiled? Maybe. Maybe my parents are right and I'm a lazy spoiled kid who just makes excuses. But my pain is real, constant, and severe.

I have friends who's birthday presents consist of trips to fucking italy or the bahamas. Who complain when their parents drag them on yet another international vacation. Some are amazing people who are grateful and work their asses off. And some of them are a bit entitled. My mom said most 26 year olds are living on their own with jobs and I fucking laughed. The only 26 year olds with their own apartments especially in my area either have 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom shithole, got lucky and have a high paying tech job, their parents pulled strings to get them hired, or their parents are paying partly or fully for their apartment.

And when i tried to find an apartment? She discouraged me and told me id never be able to afford one (correct) but now im suddenly able to when it suits her argument? Ive been heavily job hunting for over a year and got ONE interview who ghosted me after two interviews. I make $2k MAX. Rent in my area is $1700-2500 for a freaking studio. The $1700 one doesn't let you see the apartment and gets snapped up immediately. And these are all apartments within a 2 hour radius. All the "affordable housing" is for people 55 and older.

Like I literally have no options. I can't move until I get a job in that area. I can't leave the country cause Im disabled and also thats fucking expensive. My bf makes less than me and even combined we couldn't afford a place.

Literally, I've never been suicidal before. Ive never struggled with that due to my fear of death. But all of this? Ive recently had suicidal thoughts and its fucking scary. Thoughts that killing myself would make it easier for everyone else. That it would be easier to just end it, that life will always be a living hell and i should just give up. And thats fucking scary! I shouldn't have those thoughts! But that's how bad it is.

I try to do what my therapist told me. I try to set boundaries. But setting a boundary means not eating dinner bc I leave when my parents yell at me. I try to think positively and ignore the pain. I probably walk an average of 1-2 miles a day. I try and try and try and it hurts so much. They can't be proud of me? For even big victories? Guilting me about graduation cause I took too long. Keeping a job for more than a year (its not a REAL job cause its hourly and doesnt have benefits).

Like what's the point? I've been fighting and fighting and most of the world wants to see me dead and gone anyway. I'm trying to work in a field that doesn't even consider people like me. If I cant work Ill just bring my boyfriend and my family down. Every step forward I manage to take I get dragged back 10.

Im so tired and ashamed and stressed and my fucking body hurts worse now because of the stress and i just dont want to wake up tomorrow.

[echobx]

these pics and videos spoilers im seeing is making me a bit sad as a jjpope shipper.... seeing jiara fans happy that rudy and madison are filming scenes between both makes jjpopes future look even worse. i was really hoping for s4 to be their season? pics of kiara and jj in same bedroom? i dont feel good at all for whats coming. how can the show ignore jjpope and their potential?

i feel the same anon. but I still have some hope because all we have got to see hasn't been very romantic looking in my eyes. and to the clip of Madison in bedroom next to a guy, that's JD, that's not Rudy. bc that video they screenshotted from was is on Madelyn's Instagram and I'm pretty sure it's JD based on the fact that he commented something on it that is visible on his body in the shot.

also, the fact that they zoomed in on a poster on a wall and then said "this is proof they live together" is just not holding up. bc (1) not just Kie can have this poster and just bc they used it in her room in s3 doesn't mean they didn't just use it to save money on new props (the surfshop of JB and Sarah has the same logo as the one we have already seen in s1&2 so unless they buy that thing, I'm just calling it cheap production and not wanting to create a new logo) (2) there was no confirmation whose house they are at in this clip, and (bc I'm that bitch) when you look out the window in the video, you can clearly see the marina. so they can't be at JJ's bc of the location of the house. I'm calling it and say their at Pope's or Kie has her own house.

on the other hand what still gives me hope, is that everything I have jiara shippers seen talking about (especially on twitter) has still no ground to stand on. tbh hey sound very delulu to me with all they are saying right now. I mean, I have seen more bts clips were Rudy and Madison don't seem as happy to be there, or aren't even in the shots together, than ones where they are.

I do have hope that the writers aren't that dumb and do what they did with KiePope and give us just a little and then let the characters realize that it's not working out.

I'm also super confused about Luke being there, and tbh I hate that they are doing it now bc they wanted to do that last season and then didn't bc bts leaks and jiara. but what I hate more is ppl going "omg luke is gonna throw JJ off Redfield Lighthouse!!" like why? why would they kill off the one character that keeps thousands if not millions of ppl interested in the show. bc if I'm totally honest, if they do kill him off I'm not gonna keep watching. same with Pope. if one of them dies, I'm done with this shitshow and it'll be fanon forever. (it already is bc canon is shit with holes)

ig my main issue with all that jiaras are doing isn't that they are shipping it, ship what you want, but the impact they get to have and the little media literacy they seem to have too. the homophobia and racism of it all

but then again, JJ is still wearing the bandana in the back right pocket. and I do hope for some good changes (for us) bc none of the official promo they gave us yet was in any instance showing anything about jiara. they gave them nothing. and maybe that's why jiaras sound so delulu to me right now, bc if how they say "this is jiara's season" was true, why wouldn't the short clips we got a few months ago have anything in them that gives jiaras genuine hope? no instead we got a group shot where the two are far apart, then the boys, and Sarah looking sad again. no jiara in sight. and maybe that's why I have hope, but that might also just be a marketing strategy idk.

they should let Kie cheat on him with a girl, that's what I wanna see. she should just fuck a girl and then come home and break up with JJ. that's what I want deep in my soul. bc just from the first intro we got into JJ (JB's pilot episode monologue) it's so damn obvious that they will never work, even if they weren't both raging homosexuals.

[smokeygrayrabbits]

OK SO REWATCHING BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES AGAIN AND y'all remember how coryo and sejanus had that lil confrontation right after they got to twelve over sejanus hanging with billy toupe and coryo was all 'you have to learn to make the best of our lives and roles here or have your father buy you a discharge and do something' and we as the viewers (idk about readers bc I have yet to read the book 😭 but movie anyway) can see the spite he says that with because sejanus is there willingly and coryo isn't. coryo had everything taken from him by being sent out as a peacekeeper. sejanus gave everything up to do the same.

coryo told sejanus not to throw his life away because he had the means and opportunity to make a real difference, and what did sejanus do? he turned straight around and threw away all of his power inorder to become a peacekeeper medic out in district twelve. as far as possible from the capital and any real position of power to make the change he was always talking about. and the reason that coryo told sejanus that in the first place? he was forced to risk his life to go and get sejanus!

sejanus had everything that coryo was working so hard to get a scrap of and threw it away on a whim, right after coryo was forced to risk his life to save sejanus.

coryo was exiled. forcefully placed in the military by highbottom with the goal of taking away any future power that coryo might have had. and sejanus, who already had the money and power that coryo was being kept from, threw it away! sejanus volunteered for the job that was meant to replace coryos death sentence. and then he starts running around doing illegal shit, dragging coryo into it by association, meanwhile coryo is doing his best to get back to his family and NOT GET KILLED. CORYO BASICLY ALREADY HAD TWO STRIKES AGAINST HIM WITH THE CAPITAL, AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY FOR THEM TO KILL HIM OFF IN THE DISTRICTS, LEAVING HIS FAMILY ALONE AND FUTURELESS. AND HE KNEW THAT. HE KNEW THAT EVERYTHING HE DID WAS BEING WATCHED AND SEJANUS JUST KEPT PUTTING THEM AT RISK! ID BE PISSED TOO.

BUT SEJANUS DIDNT KNOW THAT. HE DIDNT SEE IT THAT WAY BECAUSE HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CORYOS SITUATION WITH THE STARVING FAMILY AND THE DEATH SENTANCE AND THE TRAUMA FROM THE WAR AND ITS AFTERMATH AND HIGHBOTTOM WANTING HIM DEAD. GOD IF THEY HAD JUST TALKED ABOUT IT THEN I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT SEJANUS WOULD HAVE KEPT WORKING WITH BILLY TOUPE,

seriously! from coryos perspective everything sejanus did was basically a slap in the face to everything he was struggling and suffering for! but sejanus probably just thought coryo was blind to the capitals cruelty because sejanus was always trying to do what he thought was the right thing! but coryo knew people who had been labeled treasonous rebels for doing less than sejanus, and since they were friends and squad members coryo would have been blamed too. and unlike sejanus coryo doesn't have a rich dad to save him. he also had people relying on him, unlike sejanus, who only thought he was risking himself.

BUT ALSO coryo saw everything sejanus did as a wasted opportunity. and he was kinda right! sejanus had the money and the platform and the future to make real change if he would only spend some of his father's money and play the game. but just like coryo yelled at him in their fight, sejanus was too blinded by his own guilt over his father's actions and how they benefited from the war to actually do anything. which while moral and kind and very sejanus of him, was also such a wasted opportunity!

and then later at the jabberjay collection part where, before turning on the recording, coryo told sejanus to stop his sketchiness and sejanus was all 'YOU told me I could make a difference! thats what I'm doing!' and coryo makes that frustrated pissy face but doesn't really say anything he was totally thinking 'YEAH BUT THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT!' when coryo told sejanus that he could make a difference back in the arena he was talking about sejanus using his familys wealth to make large scale change in the system, not risk his life on some asshole like billy toupe. but he doesn't say that because that's treason and he never says stuff out loud like that because he actually has people to protect. AND THEN SEJANUS GOES 'i can't stay here I wont!' SAYING THAT HES CANT STAY IN DISTRICT TWELVE ANYMORE AND CORYO MAKES THAT FACE AGAIN CUZ SEJANUS YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS YOU VOLUNTEERED!!!!!!! GOD! I CANT!

AND THEN SEJANUS SAYS 'im just doing what you told me to do back at the arena' AND CORYO SAYS ' I WASJUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU THE FIRST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID ENOUGH TO RUIN MY LIFE' AND HE MEANT THAT BECAUSE WHAT SEJANUS DID PUT CORYOS ENTIRE FUTURE AT RISK BUT HE DOESNT KNOW THAT AND THEN SEJANUS SAYS 'its worth the risk to do the right thing' ANF THATS WHERW CORYO FINALLY GETS OUTWARDLY MAD AND SAYS 'ITS WORTH THE RISK FOR YOU. YOUR FATHER WILL JUST BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES BUT ILL BE HUNG JUST FOR KNOWING YOU' BUT SEJANUS DOESNT KNOW HOW TRUE THAT IS BUT ALSO HE SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE CORYO FULLY TOLD HIM AND HE JUST DIDNT GET IT! AND ONLY THAT DAY CORYO HAD LEARNED THAT HIS FAMILY WAS EVICTED AND THEY LOST HIS CHILDHOOD HOME AND HE WAS TRYING SO HARD TO SAVE THEM BUT SEJANUS WAS GONNA GET CAUGHT AND GET HIM KILLED AND GOD

[starmist]

（forgive the influx of asks but like im just idk suffering the barren abyss that is tteotm fans -- or perhaps I havent gone far enough yet) lmao.

in your opinion- rate the arcs from best to worst? (mortal, bo're, immortal)

(i am still salty they cut the drama from 58 eps down to 40 like nahhh)

I think it would be mortal, bo’re and immortal for me. Which is pretty basic bc that’s the order we got it in

The thing is, I’m here for toxicity and people who should be in jail (susu) or a psychiatric ward (ttj) and I think the mortal arc fulfills that the best lmao

Even with that it’s mostly early mortal arc that I enjoyed the most i.e. everything before bo’re like Sheng arc perfectly embodied ms. Megan’s “He lyin' to me and I'm lyin' to him, guess we both ain’t shit”. Both of them being sooo trusting and actually nice to each other while they were actually just serving their own agendas was absolutely PEAK.

Also. Like. THE BOAT ARC. insane insane insane. I could go ON about this era. Ttj’s delusion + horniness. Susu constantly being ready to throw down at the drop of a hat. Him somehow becoming more down bad for her after she strangled him, beat him with sticks, punched him and said she fucking hated him.

And THE CABIN SCENE. Talked so much with moot abt this this specifically

This is NOTHING short of “she yell at me n I moan”. Word for word during my live tweeting I was like. This is the look of man wanting to be impregnated and I continue to standby it that man wants to be bouncing on it SO bad.

The Bo’re arc was also very fun. Tian Huan was a cunt but also kind of a girlboss? Idk. LOVE how Xiao Lin was Susu’s brother here & love how his only role was hating his little sister’s loser husband. Ming Ye & Sang Jiu had me after the first ep of the arc I swear I was 🤤 all over them day one. Ming Ye sucks for fumbling a bad bitch though

Immortal arc ranks last for me bc of how choppy it is. It’s very clear that chunks had to be cut out, I found the script summary of the dream demon arc on Reddit and I’m so pissed the original version sounds great. Also there’s this one scene where Susu shows up to the abyss in a black veil but she’d left the sect in a completely different fit and ik I just KNOW there was a yiyue tribe interaction there…

The cuts hurt the drama a lot. However unlikely it is I hope we one day get a blurayof the complete version or a streaming platform buys the rights to it or something…

[nathank77]

6/14/24

9:40 p.m

It took me awhile to fall asleep. I used the older xanax just to troubleshoot if the newer stuff was fake. I guess not cause if it was- I would have passed out immediately. I slept solidly through the night until 3 p.m. I peeded and then I laid back down and was out until 4:14 p.m without drugs... that's a good thing but I don't like sleeping that late cause I may struggle to sleep tonight.

Anyways I was going to game but I was aggravated and my house is always a hell hole. I have this whole dilemma:

1) I want to finish the attic and the shared closet/my room but not in that order. I want to finish the shared closet. Then my room closet. Then the attic. Cause I want to bring my nicest things down from the attic for clothes and put them in a storage bin on top of my movies storage bin and my blanket storage bin which I want an extra set of sheets and an one extra pillow top mattress cover for when I inevitably spill juice on my bed which is fairly common and the later I do it at night I can't wash it and I have to sleep on a towel. So I'm going to buy a pillow top mattress cover. Not extra sheets I'll ask for that for Christmas. Wash it and put it in the storage bin in the shared closet.

2) The dilemma is I want to join the gym Monday but- if I join before I get all this stuff done it will become a tedious project and I'll be hellbent on using my very expensive gym membership bc I'm joining at the wrong time of the year. If I joined January 1st or something it would be a 1$ start up fee instead of a 60$ start up fee.

I don't want to lose my fire for either things bc it's coming to a head. The true dilemma is that the gym is going to be 70$ to start out of pocket Monday if I joined.

I want to keep buying l salivarius. I want to give cbd one more month. I want to get storage bins so I can continue my organization. I want to buy that pillow top mattress cover. And I'd really like to buy a microfiber queen sized blanket as a comforter... I have one already and I would swap them... put the old one in the storage bin in the closet with the old pillow top mattress cover as a spare.

The dilemma really is money and how I spend it and energy. Yea I can go Monday to the gym and swipe my card and start working out but then I'm out a decent amount of money and I still got to pay for the annual fee two months later.... and then I can't really afford the storage bins... I can't really afford the pillow top mattress cover or the microfiber blanket... it would be nice to have a spare washed and conveniently put away in the shared closet..

So idk what to do. I ended up cleaning out our shared closet. I put all the water bottles in a huge box. I got out 3 old comforters that were on the floor and put them in that box. I threw away a bunch of drinks. The closet is CLEAN! but not done yet.

I already have two storage bins thanks to Katie. One clear smaller one without a top unfortunately but with movies and one large gray one with those waters. I had to clean the water one out with antibacterial stuff cause a soda busted in there. I cleaned that out. Put my movies in there and they fit much better so that's done.... I'm happy with it.

Then I grabbed the storage bin my sister provided me from the basement and used antibacterial spray on it and put the blankets in it. I still got to wash the blankets and I may throw out a few in order to fit the old pillow top mattress cover when i get a new one and the old microfiber blanket when I get a new one. There are def a few blankets in there I wouldn't feel bad about throwing out... but I didn't have time to wash them yet, that's a later activity..

I have the clear bin without a top on top of the blanket storage bin. It has virtually nothing in it but I felt the need to "set it all up" so my mother didn't take over the nice space I created. I absolutely plan to buy the smaller clear storage bin and grab the nicer clothes from the attic basically only what I just put up there, my old medium boxers, the shorts and pj pants and the old shirts with coconut oil stains. They are all nice stuff and once I get the stains out they are wearable..

So this is my updated list. I feel accomplished and below that is what the closet looks like now. I got to figure out if putting the gym off and spending extra money on the bins and blankets make sense. Now that I have an almost perfect set up just lacking the clothes, the lid, and the extra bedding, it's like I want to do that but I can't do the gym and that. I got to figure it out.

Imma wait on my sister to get me more storage bins for free. I can buy them from Walmart but Walmart will only ship the clear smaller ones for free otherwise its store pick up... my car can't fit them.... so me and my sister have to go grab some in her truck.. whenever she will work with me on that.. I'd at least buy a few for the attic.. to get that going.

I mean I could benefit from 2 or 3 of the clear bins. One for the shared closet for my clothes. One for stuffed animals like from my childhood up in the attic prob the one without a top... but I mean- I really need the huge ones. I like that they are clear but they lack the space to be worth the money honestly.

So yea I'm over here going if I spend all this money between l salivarius and the blanket, the pillow top and a few clear storage bins/the larger ones... not to mention cbd next month when I get paid-i have to put the gym off.

Also energy wise even if I had the money I don't have the energy to start fitting in the gym and doing all this stuff around the house...

Erin won't be a therapist anymore in July... so my time will really free up... I will try to get on Mike's schedule two days a week and then I can really fit the gym in even with this amount of stuff left to do... I'm not going to bother looking for another therapist cause I'm a voice hearing trans person. I'm done with the rejection.

But yea, I wish I could join the gym, buy all this stuff and have the money. I wish I could do both the gym and finish this project without worrying about putting one off... if I spend all that money on the gym, I can't not commit. That's the thing. Part of me is like wait until January. If I don't kill myself... all these new years resolutions... it's always 1$ start up new years.. but I mean I've plateau weight wise and those skinny jeans will not fit if I don't go...

I got a lot to think about. Should I keep buying 100mg of cbd? Should I keep buying l salivarius when it can be so good for someone with gum disease despite its cost? Should I forget about the dentist until my annual instead of calling Husky and paying out of pocket which I can't really afford for a 6 month cleaning and give up on my brown stained tooth and just do whitening strips in January? Should I finish my house projects while I'm motivated before I join the gym when money is going to be an issue? Should I say fuck the attic and go to the gym?

Idk..money is tight. I want organization. I want the stuff that didn't get destroyed to stay not destroyed. I want that clear storage bin with my nicer clothes to stay down here with me. I want the extra blanket and I def NEED the extra pillow top mattress cover cause I'm a spiller and I'm stuck in my room 24/7. I spilled tea on my bed 2 night ago and had to sleep in a wet spot.

If I put off the gym I got one pair of jeans. If I go to the gym, I will spend 59$ more on a start up fee and my house projects will come to a screeching hault bc for one I can't buy the storage bins. For two I'm going to use all my energy going to the gym and on the days I don't go I won't want to do anything. Once I don't have Erin as a therapist and I figure out what day Mike can see me my schedule will clear off a little making the gym easier to fit in...

Money will never be easy... the closer i get to January the more I think 1$ start up fee... saving 59$ that I could spend on stuff I need makes sense but I really want my body to be the best it can be.

What should I do? Idk. Even buying all this stuff on credit will be tight but it's on credit and as long as I don't do glasses (that's never happening), and I don't do the 6 month teeth cleaning and I put off my gym membership.. I mean I can do that. I can do the gym but I can't swipe my card on the stuff I want to buy.

Do I need l salivarius right now? Nope but it makes sense to put it on the 100$ no interest if paid off in 6 month thing with all the storage bins.

So yea that's where I am. This is what I have left to do. And I'm confused but the shared closet although not finished is in a finished state just missing the lid and the clothes from the attic but I'll do that another day.

Idk if I'm doing the car wash tomorrow. Idk If I'm going out for a chicken tomorrow. Dads house on Sunday is stressful and I have to drive all the way over there... gas money. Money issues constantly and bc I didn't really relax at all today- maybe I should tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed.

[izzy-b-hands]

I can never seem to get an actual plot to revolve around this enough to write it as a snippet of the music au but

there's this bit that's been floating around my head forever of like. idk maybe Stede bc that might be fun, going to his first QAR show at Ed's invitation, when they're playing at some big event like Wacken

He's already a little out of place, bit nervous. The music is fine enough, not his favourite genre, but there's various bands playing within subgenres/genre mixing that he's enjoying himself well enough.

But he's on his own and waiting for Ed and crew to get onstage, and the nerves are bubbling up the whole time

The show starting helps. But as it goes, they hit a certain song (not sure which one I'm giving to QAR for this, but it's probably going to be an Uncle Acid one lol) that's one of their stoner metal type crowd faves, and the guitar solos between Ed and Izzy just... keep going

Like, it's good. Fucking amazing, actually, faces are being shredded off, so on and ao forth. But it becomes evident (and the whispers make their way through the crowd from the bemused roadies) that the pre-show toke might have been...a little much, and they're just stuck in a jam session now.

Stede watches and it becomes clear they're right, and that's the moment he realises he's in love with both of their dumb asses. Watching Ed and Izzy throwing it back and forth to each other, building on and bridging new bits off of what the original song was. He's pretty far in the back, but the large screens show that the two of them are having the time of their lives. Smiling and giggly and overjoyed every time the other 'yes ands' with another riff.

This is where Frenchie and Wee John come in, as friends of his who didn't realise he'd be there ('doesn't seem his thing' per Frenchie), and who, as soon as they see him, can tell he wants to be closer. At the front, even for a moment.

Cut to Stede Bonnet's first crowd surf, over a huge crowd that luckily (bc it's this au's version of Wacken) has massive amounts of accumulated metal show crowd etiquette that gets him to the front and gently helped over the rail by a security guard

And his wave, just one quick wave that he feels silly abt in the moment bc surely they won't see it even, is what catches Ed's eye, then Izzy's.

He can't hear much after (he hasn't gotten around to buying ear protection yet bc of course he hasn't, tho that said, mood), but as he stumbles back to Frenchie and John, he's aware he's now one of the only people in the world to have been dually serenaded via guitar by two of the most famous musicians in the world, all while gently cradled by the security guard (Steak Knife, bc I miss him. so he needs at least a small spot in this au.)

Cut to Fang and Ivan (lovingly) taking the absolute piss out of Ed and Izzy later on the tour bus when they're at least slightly more sober, bc they're so in love and it was so obvious and they'd better ask first, if Stede is okay with a public proposal or not before they so that onstage at the next show (they would never, not without asking first.)