#idk i've just been kind of dissociating. i'm fine. i'm trying to focus
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chat should i make myself some instant noodles when i'm not really hungry but it's 3:30am and i am craving the experience of being a living being (eating is something nearly all animalia do)
#puri rambles#idk i've just been kind of dissociating. i'm fine. i'm trying to focus#it's like a manual microscope where you're constantly turning the dial and you can see stuff come into focus just for a quarter second but#your hand was not ready to stop and so you miss it so you have to turn it back the other way more slowly this time but you still miss it#now imagine that on repeat. that's my brain#i want to draw and do [list of loads of things i want to do] but i just. cant pay attention for long enough#at least now i dont have any commissions pending so no one is waiting on me for art...#that always stresses me out so bad#i did manage to do a second coat of paint of 5/6 of the reds i did on stream though so that's more ready for another stream#i was able to get rid of most of the white spots#but i definitely didn't do it with the right 'technique' for painting because my brain didnt want to do all the set up steps#anyway if you see the paint is too thick. no you don't. sh.
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