#idk i'm just gonna tag those i love the most (sorry other boys)

[roxtron]

Day 5: Rabbit, Reclaim

AGJGDFJF FINALLY IT'S DAY 5 SO I CAN POST THIS

For some reason everytime i draw him he looks so young because i'm accidentally overcorrecting since i'm used to drawing older characters. So unfortunately he looks way younger than i meant him to lol, whoops.

But wait there's more- AHAHAHA

While I did initially plan this for GGY week I eventually got the idea to use this as an excuse to draw other GGY designs, soo..

(Not sure why tumblr formatted it that way with 1 of them big but it doesn't matter lol)

I've been wanting to do this for a while, I put the tags of each person next to their design but ofc I'm still gonna tag them in the post itself so you can see their art for yourself if you haven't already. But I enjoyed each of these in their own ways so if you don't mind I think I'm gonna type a bit of text next to them..

@chipistrate This was one of the first I drew out of these, the design was pretty fun to draw but sorry if I messed up a few details, it was a bit difficult lol. The mask and goggles are really fun to draw and they make for a cool design, along with all the glowing blue. (and yes, I tried to subtly include the heelies lol)

@lunzi0 This was the first fursuit one I did lol. I adore the little stars in the design, they personalize it so well and make it really unique. I wanna try this design again since I feel like the other ones show my improvement a bit better, but I hope you can appreciate the effort I put in on my first attempt <3

@carouselrabbit This one was really fun to draw, I absolutely love the eye shape/lashes, it stands out and I always love drawing eyes with a bit of eyeliner lol, the daycare theme legwarmers is a cool nod to the balloon boy arcade machine being connected to them, and was just a fun addition in general lol, I like the style of legwarmers what can I say, fnaf changed my fashion sense a bit. also the subtle paraells to freddy's design is a nice way to connect a bit to gregory himself.

@puhpandas I can't remember if I talked about this design last time I drew it but, overall I'm really happy with how this came out, it's such an indicator of improvement since I started drawing this and I'm glad I was able to draw it better than last time lol. All the patchwork and similarities to Vanny's suit work really well, and the rabbit you chose to base it off of was a good fit, the colors make it a bit more difficult to shade for but i like detail lol, hope you like it too :)

@dykevanny I knew I wanted to do this since I started but I wasn't sure if I'd have time, and I'm glad I did! I hope you don't mind I combined aspects from the first design I saw and the second one you replied to my ask with, I liked the big purple sleeves lol. (I just realized after doing all the shading I forgot to include the oil splatter on his jacket, sorry!) It was definitely a bit difficult due to the head shape being so different but.. fluffy. i love drawing fluff. And the glowing swirl on the goggles, the shape of the ears, I love a lot about this design. :D

I have a hard time with writing compliments but I wanted to get some of those thoughts out, some of the things I like about these designs apply to multiple lol. I adore every one of these designs but I find it hard to put into words what I enjoy about them, hope the original creators are happy with these. <3

I also kept the ggys without as much lighting effects on a separate file, I felt like I should add them since they're a bit brighter lol, makes them look different.

Okay now that I've gotten all that- Sorry this post is so long! I didn't think it'd end up taking up so much space lol. Buut.. working on this drawing and thinking about it and potential context behind it gave me an au idea for it, but I'll put it under the cut since I understand most people probably won't care and just wanna see the drawings lol.

Idk if I'm confident enough to write for it but I'll give a bit of a summary.. I'll keep it under the cut for people who aren't interested and just wanna see the art though lol.

After the main events of SB and Ruin, now that the mimic's been set free, Cassie's taken control of by what's left of Vanny, using her as a new host. But with Cassie being the only human left alive down there, after being reawakened, Dr. Rabbit has nowhere left to go but back to his old host.

Vanessa, Freddy, and Gregory hadn't gone back to the Pizzaplex after ruin, but they were trying to figure out a plan to get Cassie back safely. One night after Freddy and Gregory disappear, Vanessa leaves to go find them. As dangerous as the pizzaplex is, it's her best guess for where they might've gone. She doesn't want to think about what could've happened to them, in denial for the worst case scenario. She tries to keep herself calm by telling herself they probably just left to go back for Cassie, maybe they didn't want her stopping them.. but deep down she knows it can't be that simple. She knows something's off, even if she's not ready to admit it.

When returning to the pizzaplex, she brought along her own V.A.N.N.I. mask, though unlike the one Cassie used, it was clear of the mimic's influence. After all, she was going to need some way to travel through potential blocked routes.

By the time she found Gregory, she'd still been wearing the mask, seeing him down the end of a dark hallway. He looked confused, afraid, his mind was a wreck of conflicting emotions. She started rushing towards him, happy to see him okay, until he finally spoke.

"You need to get out of here."

She stepped back, taking off the mask, only to be faced with the worst case scenario.

It was a wreck, covered in stains and tears, but it was still recognizable. He was wearing that old suit again.

As he waved, she could see Freddy's claws peeking out from the doorway, as the two stepped closer towards her.

So, she did what he told her to do, and started running. She could hear a faint voice coming from the mask, and put it back on before finding somewhere she could hide.

It was his voice again, telling her which way to go.

I guess that was the dramatic way to summarize the main idea behind it, lol. Basically Gregory and Dr. Rabbit work the way Sun and Moon work in Ruin, whichever one is in control in the real world, the other is left behind in the AR world. Or at least that's my interpretation of how they worked, considering Sun was always in mask-on scenes and moon was mask-off. I'm not too sure where the plot might go from there, and maybe I'll consider writing for it, I dunno. I've never wrote fanfic before because I get deadly afraid of writing them out of character lol, but maybe?? I have ideas for scenes and premise and stuff but I don't know if I have the confidence to write it.

But anyway! That was just more of a fun side-idea I came up with while working on this, if you read this far thanks, hope you enjoyed :)

here's some silly little lineless doodles as a reward for making it to the end hehe

now that's what I call an art dump

@ggyweek2024

[woobots]

SMALL APPRECIATION POST <3

hi...people...who...probably got this in their notifcations. LISTEN. i'm sorry for the unwanted tags BUT!! this is just a little thing noting my appreciation or WHATEVER else. please ignore if you want! and uh this is gonna be a part one?? i'll do another part in the future i think :)

okay so actually idk how to start this + order means nothing, just who came to mind first :)

@topazwrld hii <3 thank you for being a WONDERFUL moot just to start it off. i LOVE ur characters & ur groups and just everything, they're all so cool and the way u make ur lineups so pretty always has me so surprised. ur so nice, ty for letting me rant to u abt reyes and letting me make connections with ur ocs </3 - in short, really tysm for just being great and everything!!!

@pureun hi :D UR SO COOL. JUST LIKE FYI. UR SO COOL REALLY. the COOLEST. i'm so excited for all your ocs already, i just know all of them are amazing and just !!!!!!!!!! yeah !!!!!!!!!! thank you for being supportive with my ocs & even other peoples oc! it's very reassuring to get little comments & reblogs but i'm SURE yk that !! anyway, idk how to wrap this up but UR AMAZING !!! ty for the playlist too btw <3

@lcmonheads hi :D I LOVE UR OCS SM !!!! everyone in lemonheads are actually my kids, just so you know!! i love those boys </3 and ofc sweetner !!!!!!! and noah !!!!!!!! ur so nice </3 and just everything u do is so cool !!!! I LOVE IT !!!! STAY AMAZING !!! TY FOR BEING A MOOT !!

@cultkive ur ocs :(( are :(( so :(( cool :(( !!!!!!!!!!!! judy is my most beloved ever...i love her more than anything, just the way u write her and just EVERYTHING !!! not only that but ego too!! they're so cool, ik u just put them out but !!!!!!! yeah. and ur very kind too !!! ty for being kind and everything. ur amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@glasshcvse YOU'RE SO COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean it. you're one of the coolest people in the whole community. ur ocs and everything are one of a KIND !!!! stupid cupid my beloveds btw...and veronika...i love them. actually, like i really like UHMMM admire you??? i'm not sure how to phrase it but you're a very big inspiration to me within the community!!!!

@enaeura HELLO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hi, i just wanted to say ur very amazing & cool and that. i love your ocs and the way you write everything so much. LIKE EVERYTIME I READ ONE OF NAISU'S LITTLE CHAPTERS MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. and cleo too </3 i love her so much, she's so cool and amazing. the way u write her is just GREAT ... but !!!!!!! yeah, you're very cool <3 ur ocs are cool <3 everything abt u is cool <3 stay amazing. OH AND !!!! ateez cleo is my most favorite thing to ever exist. i needed to get that off my chest.

@chcrryade i wasn't sure whether to tag this blog or ur others so...i'll give this one a go, sorry!!!!!!! BUT. i loveeeeeee UR STUFF SOOOO MUCH. cherryade my most beloveds. i love the way you've done everything for them so far, the yt video deep dives??? those are so cool and well written. AND !!!!! kihyun too. he's gotta be one of my top additions. i love him so much. but anyway! ur stuff is so amazing </3 i'm in love with it all. ur so cool, stay cool, stay amazing.

i'm just gonna make a list now of other accounts or people i find so cool or amazing. please forgive me for the tags and i'm sorry i couldn't say anything else, my brain has frozen. BUT I DO LOVE ALL UR ACCS, U GUYS ARE SO COOL AND AMAZING AND I LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE ALL OF U!!!!!!!

@venusvity ... @v1nylz ... @tab1oid ... @totallystars ... @vhsdolly ... @plasticflwrs ... @dulcebot ... @arcanids ... @99kitsch ... @attuncd ... @ppangs ... @midmourn ... @starbcrnes

I'M SO SORRY FOR ANYONE I DIDN'T MENTION!! + i think the tags cut out after so some of u might not've been tagged but that's tumblrs fault i promise...

[alsoanyways]

@transgender-scout @1ight wait fuck now i have to compile them okay okay okay i have a feeling this is gonna get long so I'm gonna put it under a cut haha but for real thank you for asking!!

First things first! This is how I imagine the flock is able to disguise themselves. There's no going undercover at an actual school for them, but I don't think anyone's looking twice at a bulky coat, especially if it's set in the future. Not too far in the future though, still in the 21st century. I have no ideas for a plot restructuring or anything, I never read past Nevermore and I barely remember anything past the fourth book, so most of my headcanons are character dynamics and such. I do have some that aren't focused on the flock but not many. Anyways.

(also idk if most of this can even be considered headcanon bc its basically fanfic at this point)

A couple things I should've added to the design post are Toto's Total’s nonexistence (I'm sorry if you like him but I do not lmao) and the fact that their hair is feathers. Like those very fine and very long feathers that roosters get. The flock also doesn't develop superpowers.

In my version of things, there's a small town close-ish to the E shaped house. Far enough that no one in town is gonna drop by for a visit, but close enough to fly down to for some groceries, which they'd do after Jeb left and until the money was gone. I think he would've taught them how to forage for things and that's how they get by since then.

Max (21) isn't The Leader TM either, I think leadership is shared more with Fang/Friday and Iggy. She likes volleyball and usually the one to go foraging. She's never thought about it but if she did, she'd probably consider herself agender.

Fang/Friday (22) gets his name from a Friday the 13th DVD cover, Jeb thinks he wants to be called Jason when he first points to it. He used to help Nudge/Dora and Angel with their hair when they were little and still does occasionally. He likes to draw and he's the go-to when someone needs to be comforted. There's no way in hell I would let him be anything less than bisexual.

Iggy (20) is the one that probably hears Friday's voice the most. He was also taught braille and Jeb got them a labeling machine. He's still the best cook and he's very protective over the vinyls/tapes/cds in the house. He mourns the loss of them when they have to flee the house, but he is excited to finally have access to new music. He's also gay. Because I said so.

Nudge/Dora (17) still wishes she could live a normal life, but has accepted that it's just not a possibility. She clings to "Dorothy" when she learns it. Being talkative and into fashion are still part of her character, but now she also loves bugs. She tags along when Max goes foraging so she can try and get pictures of any new bugs she hasn't seen before. Friday often gets to hear which bugs and what they were doing when they're sketching together.

Gazzy/Gizmo (14) gets his name when he watches the Gremlins movie for two months straight and starts mimicking the mogwai noises. He almost kills everyone when he mixes a couple cleaners from under the kitchen sink. He's quickly enamored with the chemistry books he's given afterwards. Like any other teenage boy, he likes video games and has too much energy for his own good. Max offers to race him when he's particularly amped.

Angel (11) is the only one out of the group that wasn't experimented on and she doesn't get the protectiveness or why they never go anywhere. She likes sitcoms and never refuses an offer to forage with Max. She also took a liking to helping Iggy cook things. She was very quick to tell people she wasn't a boy once she had the vocabulary.

Ari (15) has chronic pain. Being turned to goo and rebuilt into something different will do that to you. It doesn't get better the second time. Nor the third. He used to live in the E shaped house, before Jeb brought Gizmo, back when he was a regular kid. He's always liked animals, caring for them. He wanted to be a farmer or something when he grew up. After he joins the flock, he and Gizmo are fast friends. (Watching him and Gizmo dick around is what makes Friday realize that he really is just a kid.)

Maya/Em (21, kinda) my identity issues queen!! Cloning keeps the original memories intact and then they were further messed with to ensure her allegiance. She has a hard time coming to terms with that, with not being Max, not being who she thought she was. Her friends aren't her friends, she didn't watch Gizmo and Angel grow up, she didn't go to Friday after another nightmare, or call Dora to come catch a spider. That wasn't her. Having time away from them before she joins the flock helps. She renames herself Em during that time, distinct enough from Max but not removed from it completely. She learns that she likes cooking and she discovers cheerleading. She thinks she'd like that if she got the chance to participate. She's also aroace. She wants nothing to do with any of that.

Dylan (21) sticks closest to Em, but he eventually grows close to Iggy as well. They share a soaring/gliding wing shape and Iggy is grateful to have someone who can fly as long as he can (recreational flying is always cut short in his opinion, because the others have to work harder to stay airborne and get tired). Dylan likes to tinker around with motors and mechanisms, trying to get them to work again or building them from the ground up. Not that he has an abundance of opportunities to do that, but being able to fix a busted car comes in handy. He's one of them gays that can drive.

Lastly, I do have ideas on Erasers and different classes of them and their usages but jesus christ this did in fact get very long and I need to go eat something lmao so that'll have to be a separate post for another time.

[chiefwritesbook]

Writeblr Q&A

I have been tagged by @scifimagpie (ty for tag) so I shall attempt to answer these questions lezzgo

1. What motivates you to write?

The soup brain has too many thoughts & I have to get them out. Also spite because my asshole 8th grade English teacher said my writing assignment was only worth a C (he was the ONLY one btw I got consistently vv high grades before him) & my Chinese immigrant friend got marked down for not being good at English. Fuck you Mr English teacher

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

(idk have this one from early chapter 2 I guess)

“You mean to say that I was bait,” Talin said.

“Not the word I would use, but in a way, yes,” Red Wolf confessed.

“Why?”

“You have been on the throne for less than a year. If someone wants you dead this quickly, something is amiss. I’d like to find out what.”

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

My boy Red Wolf. He's just...yes. Autistic werewolf puppy. Could definitely kill me without hesitation or talk me to death with weapons knowledge. I would thank him if he punched me.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

I like not writing.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Worldbuilding, no doubt. I am simultaneously the best and worst at worldbuilding. You want a 2000-word essay on how languages & regional dialects evolved over time? I gotchu covered no problem. Want me to stop elaborating on how Hellhound magic is linked to the moon & actually write my sequels? Absolutely not.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I think the writeblr community is chill. Like y'all are just here for a good time and I can 100% respect that & get behind it. I get to write unhinged answers to these questions & not feel bad about it bc I don't have to self-impose ridiculous societal concepts such as 'maintain a professional image on social media'.

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Scrivener? Am I allowed to say Scrivener even though I use at most like 2% of their features. I am the kind of person who if given nothing but a notes app & a two-hour uni class to sit through will hammer out a full chapter in those two hours instead of paying any attention to class. On the other hand if you want me to actually write during my free time I'm sorry I'm too busy procrastinating writing with art & procrastinating art with gaming.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

This is not a wise question to ask me (see: question 5) unless the goal was to make me sit here for ten minutes typing out an entire essay's worth of worldbuilding word vomit, in which case well played. However for the sake of my own free time & sanity:

The legal system in Kies Tor is probably the single greatest thing I've ever constructed & it plays a crucial part in the plot & was built off the early British/European court system as well as my own special interests in law & criminology. In short it's trying its best but it's also deeply fucked up and I love making the fucked up parts fuck up my characters.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Don't feel pressured to write. If you're staring at the same thing for weeks/months on end of course it's gonna get stale. Heck this Q&A post is the most I've written in weeks.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters:

@witch-king-of-angstmar ofc (no pressure to answer tho) but other than that I never know who to tag. I have social anxiety what is an interacting. If you see this on your dash consider yourself tagged

[mytragedyperson]

Thoughts I had while watching/regarding bungou stray dogs

Before I begin I just want to say I don't want any hate for any thoughts and opinions here. We're allowed to disagree and have a different opinion regarding this show and these characters but what I don't want is a bunch of people being rude because we disagree on this show and these characters. Unlike the characters in this show I'm actually a real living human being with real human emotions. I'm not going to be a dick to you for your opinions, I just ask that you don't be a dick to me for mine. Also I'm lazy and I've already sent most of these thoughts to my friend who does not watch this show so I'll just be copy and posting those messages here as I wrote them to her. As I write this I'm on S3 E36, but I have been sending these messages to my friend since I started watching it yesterday and since I'm posting literally every thought I sent to my friend there will be things that are wrong whether I know it or not, so just a little forewarning for that. Also most of these thoughts will be going up to the first episode of S3 though I may later add to this with other opinions when I inevitably rewatch this and get to season 3 again.

And then he instantly ate the candy before she could try it but the thought was there. Also it was funny. Then again I also thought Dazai having Atsushi throw the phone just so Akutagawa would jump after it and immediately hanging up was funny. It was cruel, it was mean, i still laughed because I'm not so secretly a terrible person and this show brings out my worst qualities. What more can I say.

Wait I'm once again watching bungou stray dogs and I'm actually feeling so good right now. So there's a character called Ranpo and there's this traumatised 14 year old called Kyouka who basically had no childhood, and one of the first things Ranpo did is go out and buy her a shit ton of candy she's never tried before. Also he's just generally one of my favourite characters. He's 26 but he's childish, can barely do regular human things but he's really smart like think sherlock Holmes and he doesn't give a fuck but at the same time he's so sweet and just wants everyone to praise him but he can also be kinda snarky and sarcastic? Idk if those are the right terms. Ugh I love him

And then there's dazai who is basically a walking red flag and used to work for the mafia but he is so fun and interesting to watch. He's so manipulative, I actually couldn't tell you how much of his personality is real, how much is fake, and how much is a bit of both. He's also only 22 which I didn't realise until now. I stand by this but now I'm pretty sure nothing he says is a complete lie. Like he manipulates people with the truth more than anything. It's fascinating to watch. And terrifying

Also I there's this sweet friendly happy country boy who seems really Naive but (since this is a world where superpoweres/special abilities exist) he has super strength like can lift a car with one hand strong. He can beat up an entire gang with a smile. But he only has this super strength when he's hungry. That's another thing I like, some of the abilities are overpowered but others have limitations or only work in certain conditions. However then you have the main character who can turn into a weretiger and that for some reason gives him restoration abilities. Like he legit lost a leg in one of the first episodes then turned into a tiger and it was just back with no sign he'd ever lost it. Okay I'm gonna admit I still forget this guys name. Kenji? I will look it up so I can tag him. I'm sorry I don't dislike him I'm just terrible with names. Also I interrupt this past thought to bring you my current thought. I'm currently paused on cannabilism part three. I'm pretty sure Ranpo and Chuuya are still in Poe's book. Also I don't think I mentioned Poe that much in my messages to my friends but I love him. He simultaneously wants to be the best, be praised and get one over on Ranpo. At the same time he wants to be friends with Ranpo. He's adorable, he's lonely, there's something kind of sad about him. Honestly there's something kinda sad about most if not all of these characters but we'll get back to that later. Now on with my previously scheduled old thoughts

And then there's a woman in it who can heal people but only when they're basically dying so if she wants to heal a minor injury she has to almost but not quite kill her patient before she can heal them. I don't have much more to say here, Yosano seems cool and badass and all that but we don't really see much of her. I did really like the S1 episode we got with her but that's the only point she's really had a chance to stand out which is sad.

Also this isn't an old thought but I love how S3 showed that even though Ranpo is childish at times he can be mature when needed.

Could do without the incest they randomly hint at or just throw in in general but I understand its more for humour than anything else and it's rare enough that it can be ignored.

And then the head of the mafia has like a girl who's around 10 near him and idk if it's a translation issue or me overthinking it but it does give me a slight pedophilic vibe the way some things are said.

And yet somehow he seems to actually care about the people working for him. It's so interesting to watch a show where the characters treated as the morally grey imperfect humans they are. Like dazai left the mafia but he didn't magically become good and forget everything that let him survive in the mafia. He never claims to be a good person and he doesn't care. He doesn't care about being good or doing the right thing. The show doesn't treat him like he's always a good person or someone who always does a good thing. Sure, the main character sees him as good or at least not bad but that's because Dazai took him in and got him a job when he had nowhere to go because he's an orphan. I'm also not sure how many of the people he works with now know he's in the mafia. Like in the third episode or something it's said that no one knows what he did before. But it's at the end of that episode we the audience find out he used to be in the mafia, and three of the people he works with are there but they're all either unconscious or dying so it's unclear if any of them actually heard and idk if they actually heard and nothing seems to change after that and it's never mentioned by the detective agency whether they know or not. But the mafia isn't treat like they're wholly evil or bad either. Yes they're criminals, they're murderers they do bad things but they seem to be somewhat supportive of each other and care about each other somewhat, you know kinda like a very fucked up, toxic family that is abusive towards each other but is also like wtf only I can be mean to them, they are my fellow mafia members, no you may not hurt them, only we can kill and abuse our family members dammit kinda way. The kind of thing that's horrifying in real life but can make for some interesting scenes. Also Kyouka and the Red haired woman, I'm sorry I completely forgot her name- the way this woman cares about Kyouka as if she's her own daughter and wants her to be happy.

Also you gotta love a show that isn't afraid to kill off some kids because yes these are dangerous criminals and they're going up against other dangerous killers. You think they're gonna draw a line at killing kids to get what they want? Realism in my anime I love it.

Like I realise that sounds vaguely demented but I'm so sick of black vs white, good vs evil. Having two criminal organisations go up against each other? Yes. Having two criminal organisations and a detective agency go up against each other? Yes. Having the morals be grey to the point where your main character, the character with the best morals, still probably wouldn't exactly be anyone's image of good? Who thinks they can't do something not because of morals but because their self esteem is basically 0, maybe even a minus number? Yes. Of The main groups that have been given names there's not one person among them that I belive couldn't kill someone. Even the ones that don't kill people or don't want to could kill people. And I love that. All the villains, all the bad guys, all the characters feel like they could be real people, exaggerated and dramatic, sure, but at their core all the characters feel real, and most of the relationship dynamics you can kind of understand or feel rooted in real life. When you look at your main characters you're not necessarily encouraged to think they can do no wrong. Ugh god I love this anime

Also I'm now pretty sure that Ranpo at least knows that Dazai was in the mafia. Not only does he have deductive abilities but there's a chance he was working for the agency when Dazai joined. The president of the agency knows and I feel like Ranpo knows either because he was told or he figured out. If he knows he didn't tell anyone. I have no proof of this so far, it just makes sense. If he can put on glasses, look at a complete stranger and know that if they go where they're going they'll die, and by looking at a body knows how and when someone died and who killed them and why, then surely he could figure out dazai was in the mafia or something similar? Idk that just makes more sense to me than him not knowing and, while he is pretty childish, he's also 26. He probably knows that telling the other agency members that dazai is a mafia member may not be the best idea. If he can tell Dazais a mafia member he can also probably guess the others reaction and some of them are new to the agency. Also its a detective agency so it's technically on the other side of the law. And the less people that know, the less chance there is of the wrong people finding out, you know.

They literally introduced these kids for the sole purpose of killing them off to send a message and I appreciate it. Honestly these are episodes to establish a characters past and background why are they so good and detailed.

They literally killed a bunch of kids to encourage someone to kill them. This is madness I love it.

Honestly it's really interesting how the leader of the rival group, who I refuse to call a villain was searching for death and to escape, meanwhile dazai is searching for a will to live, a reason to live. Oh yeah this anime is great but its also depressing and there is a pretty big theme of suicide and murder and death running through it so there is that.

He doesn't even leave the mafia because he wants to become a better person, he does it because his only friend told him to while dying in his arms. Or rather he's indifferent to morality and chooses the side of "good" or at least twilight because he was asked to.

OK I think they know dazai was mafia by season 2. That's what I'm gonna go with. It makes more sense, except then Kunikida didn't know but that could've just been Dazai trying to annoy him so idk. If someone knows who exactly knows dazai was in the mafia please let me know.

The fact that this rich guys power is literally the more money I spend the more power I have is a really interesting reflection of life honestly.

I mean dazai kind of implied that he hopes he can become a good person but I literally think that's just because his friend asked him to.

Also the fucked up mentorship that is Dazai and Akutagawa is so toxic and so abusive and yet to some extent I'm here rooting for Akutagawa hoping he gets the acknowledgement he wants. Look, listen, I know this wouldn't make it pess abusive, abusers do praise their victims sometimes to keep them around but honestly I want him to achieve his goals whatever they may be.

Plus I feel like it shows Dazais character as well. He is manipulative, ge is toxic, he is abusive, he is a killer, he is a criminal. He is a walking red flag and how he interacts with Akutagawa shows that, and yet how he treats Atsushi, the main character and his new apprentice I believe he called him is different. He praises him more, he doesn't hit him as much, the one time he did it was to snap him out of it when he was freaking out. Idk how to describe Dazais character in a positive way abd yet he's so entertaining to watch that I can't help but like him and honestly it feels like the audience is being manipulated just as much as everyone else around Dazai only its worse because we've actively seen more of the things he's done that have been less than good and yet we just kinda shrug and go well that's dazai for you but that's not normal. If this was a real person I'd be very concerned but as its a fictional main character I've decided to just not think about it too deeply. I like his character, I think he's interesting.

Also idk how this falls or anything but this guy was basically called, not even weak just not strong enough yet, by Dazai, literally internalised that so hard that even 4 years later, when he's a lot stronger than he was before, he still thinks he's weak simply because Dazai has never said he's strong.

It's kinda like how I feel watching You. Like you know what he's doing is wrong and he's not a good guy but because you're following him and know his point of view you don't completely hate him. This is more regarding how he treats Akutagawa than un general.

And the thing is this show is actually so sad. Like when you listen to the characters talk and the main theme being looking for a will to live, looking for a life purpose, its honestly quite a depressing show, it just has fight scenes and some silly characters and lighter hearted moments that make you forget for a moment that it's a sad, depressing show.

Honestly this guy with the money is literally spending all his money to try and make his family happy but I cannot figure out how destroying part of Japan makes his family happy. Maybe it's something to do with this book he's looking for.

Yeah also I love how impersonal group 3 seems. Like there's the armed detective agency, the mafia and the guild, and the guild are doing all these things but at the end of the day it is just a job for them. They don't actually care about each other or their boss that much, some of them care. it's just a way to make money. I kinda like that.

Also we have Cthulu or some other monster pretending to be human so thats cool.

Also Ranpo made a friend, like someone who isn't in the agency and they can be geniuses together and there's an element of rivalry but they still respect each other and their abilities. I'm so happy for both of them. I did talk about Poe look at that.

They seriously had this grown ass man say he prefers the women in his life to be under 12 so I wasn't overthinking the pedophilia they were putting in. It's good to have this clarification though, and as my friend pointed out still doesn't need to be there but there it is and I can't change it so let's just go with it.

Also Dazai just kinda knows everything and everyone and he's slowly puppet mastering everything. Like he has people in the mafia who still seen loyal to him and do what he tells him. He kind of has a friend in the government. He's in the armed detective agency. And there's 2 years where he was hidden that I still know nothing about so basically all I'm saying is I'm pretty sure Dazai is secretly in charge of all of Japan and everyone else has just failed to realise this yet. Still stand by this and if its not true yet it will be.

OK we had Cthulu and now we have what appear to be demons and apparently the mangas have vampires so this should be interesting.

I mean it makes sense. If they can have supernatural powers why not have supernatural beings as well.

And now one of the characters is a vessel for a god and has been this entire time.

Honestly it's so funny to me to go on tumblr and see people be like oh dazais toxic, he treats Akutagawa badly. Like yeah obviously he's a mafia agent. He's an executive. He was 15 when he joined and I doubt he's much older when Akutagawa joins. Akutagawa is his subordinate. It's like obviously mafia members don't treat their subordinates well. They're the mafia. "Oh Dazai manipulated and strong armed Chuuya and Akutagawa into joining the mafia." What as opposed to the honourable recruitment methods usually used by mafia members? Like they think that's gonna make me find the mentor mentee relationship any less interesting? They also seem to talk like finding this type of dynamic in a fictional show with fictional characters means you somehow support or are fine with abusive dynamics in shows which is literally not how this works? Like you can find something entertaining in fiction that you hate in real life. Like personally I find mind control powers really interesting but in real life they'd be horrifying and I'd hate if they were real. I honestly don't get how seriously some people take enjoying a fictional dynamic between fictional people. And by the way before anyone tries to twist this to say oh so you think it's OK for some people to get abused just because they're in the mafia? No I don't think that, abuse is abuse and abuse is always wrong in real life but that's also how things are in the mafia and among criminals and people in general. That doesn't make it right or good. It's just how things are, just reality, an unfortunate reality but a reality all the same. Sorry if this seems really antagonistic and stuff. It just annoys me when people act like enjoying a fictional dynamic in any way reflects your real life dynamics. Though this may also be because I accidentally tripped and fell into shipping dazai and akutagawa. Listen, I didn't want to ship them, I didn't expect to ship them, and yet ship them I do and I can't change that. As I said in real life this dynamic is horrible and no one who claims to love you should treat you like Dazai treats Akutagawa. I didn't get a choice in this one. I didn't even need fanfiction to make it happen. My brain really looked at all the characters in this show, all the possible ships and went that one and pointed at one of the most toxic ships in this show. I'm sorry I'm disappointed in me too but it could be worse, so I'm just gonna ignore any negativity associated with that particular opinion.

Also if the story I was supposed to take from the dazai and chuuya 15 years old episodes was supposed to be that dazai was a terrible person and a dick and a villain, I'm sorry to say that was not the message I got. I'll be honest I didn't really take a message from the whole Chuuyas former group and dazai conflict, I was too busy thinking of that undertake song you sometimes hear on tiktok you know the line "you're only still alive because I made a promise". And honestly those kids sucked anyway, family isn't something you hold over someone's head as you owe us situation. Dazai was mostly honest about his actions? Like I feel like he never directly lied. Of course there are plenty of ways to avoid completely lying while also not telling the full truth. Is it really Dazais fault everyone was so easy for him to predict? Now did he have to call the boss or reveal he was from the mafia? No. Obviously not but at the same time why should he hide it? He has no reason to. And let's face it whether those kids showed up then or not ,Chuuya was always going to end up working with Dazai to some extent, he already had and also, he still wanted answers for himself. The teens were the ones that decided that was a betrayal and decided to try and kill Chuuya and join up with the mafia's other rivals, which the mafia obviously wouldn't like. Was it manipulated and puppeteered? To some extent, dazai certainly did things on purpose that he didn't have to do, predicting it would cause a specific reaction. But predictions aren't always right. Dazais plan working still relied an awful lot on other people's reactions and choices. And no I feel no emotion for the fact they're 15, so were Dazai and Chuuya, they were still perfectly willing to kill Chuuya for a perceived betrayal. And in response to that Chuuya agrees to Dazais terms to save them. Thus why my brain just went "you're only still alive because I made a promise". Anyway, yeah thise are my thoughts on that i won't comment on Akutagawa's joining the mafia yet because I haven't seen that flashback yet, and Dazai did still mistreat them. I did get the message that he's a master manipulator and can be dangerous but this had already been established.

[plague-of-insomnia]

hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

[mediawhorefics]

I posted 1,696 times in 2022

178 posts created (10%)

1,518 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

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I tagged 1,502 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#about me - 172 posts

#star wars - 166 posts

#films - 113 posts

#pixie - 107 posts

#my favourite boy - 103 posts

#art - 83 posts

#fanart - 79 posts

#tsn - 71 posts

#andrew garfield - 66 posts

#hayden christensen - 54 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#and of course louis is looking louis is looking at the illuminated sky ribbons of colours shifting swirling over the stars like beams of lig

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

idk if this is a weird question but do they always communicate with each other through post cards? or do they send texts to each other too?

it's not a weird question! but ofc they text once they start a proper relationship! they text and they call and they facetime and zoom etc. but harry always sends postcards back home anyways because it's their thing.

34 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

#4

Do you have any hot tales about tsn?

tsn hot takes ??? gosh, idk if they're hot takes but i have opinions?

i'm sorry to rpf on main but 'andrew garfield was in love with jesse eisenberg' is a hilll i'm going to die on.

similarly, andrew garfield played eduado as in love with mark and watching the movie through that lens enriches the whole experience. fight me.

tsn deserved to win best picture in 2011. out of all the nominees that year, it's the one that has only gained relevance as time passes and had something to say about our culture, both back then and right now. i think it's almost more relevant now than back then. its social commentary on the way we live our lives on the internet is pretty spot on. i mean 'the internet is written in ink'. give me one line better from another movie that year. we lived on farms then we lived in cities and now we're gonna live on the internet?? damn.

this isnt an opinion, more like an observation? back in 2010, people complained about the harsh depiction of zuck but he's worked so hard to prove the movie not only right but also now it almost reads as mild compared to who that guy actually is. it's fascinating in terms of tsn's cultural legacy. where's that one quote from that article about tsn turning 10 yo? the movie couldn't predict what facebook would turn into (in terms of misinformation and manipulation of information) but it understood that the desire to tear down the establishment is not the same as the wish to build something better in its place? anyways, that.

it has one of the greatest soundtracks ever. i don't think any movie has topped it since. that opening sequence with hand covers bruise? holy shit.

i always wonder if it does enough to condemn the elitist misogynistic culture of those rich harvard guys/those rich tech guys. like... i always joke that it's one of my 'ooops the filmmakers forgot women were people' favourite films (i have a few of those) but at the same time, it feels very pointed and purposeful in its depiction. and we know that fincher has a history of exploring toxic masculinity as a theme without explicitly condemning it and trusting his audience to get the message. which, honey, men are not smart. i mean, we get the iconic erica moment telling us from the start 'it'll be because you're an asshole' and then the movie proceeds to prove that to us. but is that enough? is the movie sexist or is the character? or both? i don't know i kinda go back and forth on this. again not a take, just thoughts.

i read this one letterboxd review like a year ago that said something along the line of: best movie of all time they have him tell us ' i don't want friends' in the first eight minutes and it blew my fucking mind. they literally tell us in the first eight minutes, aaron sorkin i just want to talk.

i love him and would kill for him, but eduardo telling mark 'i was your only friend you had one friend' was not only untrue but kinda manipulative. not that mark didn't deserve it.

high key this is one of the most quotable movies of all time. did you know i sent forty-seven texts???

there are whole worlds of unsaid things in the 'you have no idea what that's going to mean to my father' 'sure i do' i am OBSESSED with their relationship.

eduardo's bitchy 'is he?' when sean says he's wired in before the laptop smash is just as, if not more, iconic than the rest of the speech.

andrew was robbed of both a nomination and an oscar for this performance. i stand by it.

2011 golden globes jesse eisenberg dragging andrew gafield out of his chair top awards moment of all time. you had to be there.

people will bitch about tsn rpf and people writing fic about mark zuckerberg but where would we (tumblr) be as a society without jesse and andrew's 'you didn't know me at 13' 'i really wish i had'. where would your pining web-weaving fandom posts be without mr garfield's embarrassingly public crush on his facebook movie co star? check and mate.

genuinely think it would have solved a lot of their problems if mark and eduardo had fucked. or it would have created other different problems. either way, a win.

we all know it should have ended with mark sending eduardo a friend request. literally the only flaw in this film.

i honestly think the tsn press tour is on like... lotr bts footage level in terms of ~as enjoyable if not more than the original film. and i don't say this lightly. it's one of the highest praise i've got.

i'm a basic bitch but every single scene of mark defending eduardo post-betrayal is like.... [SCREAM]

it IS the greatest divorce movie of our time. marriage story fucking wishes mate.

tsn is 100% a girl movie. like red flag for men green flag for women (& gnc people) kind of stuff.

it's on par with all of shakespeare's best tragedies. for me.

lmao when i read this ask i thought damn i won't have much to say and now i have to stop myself because my food is ready and i'm starting. anyways this is barely scratching the surface. i might come back for a part two?

35 notes - Posted December 5, 2022

#3

do you think tts h&l are the kind of couple to lay in bed before falling asleep and talk about small things but also end up discussing big existential questions? if yes what do they talk about?

ohh 100%!!! i mean, i feel like so much of their friendship/early relationship was based around big existential questions of who am i/whats my purpose/what do i want/where do i belong/etc etc and i really don't see them stopping talking about that stuff after they get together 'officially'??

tbh i think they're a pretty chatty couple in general anyways so i can easily see that being part of their bedtime routine. i think often one of them prob. has something on their mind and babbles while the others hums sleepily ?? like i can totally see harry rambling about the theme of his next album while louis is all 'sounds great baby' while yawning, not because he's not interested but because harry has been at it for an hour and louis has to be up at 5am lol. i also really like the idea of them reading before bed and gossiping about what's happening in their respective books? that's when louis isn't the one doing the reading obvs. but yeah i just have a mental image of them reading side by side with clifford sleeping at their feet and one of them GASPS because of something and the other closes their book and goes 'tell me everything' because even when they're reading individually, they're actually reading together. i also think once harry starts living in the lighthouse basically fully time, he likes to be Involved with the b&b so he likes to go over the next day's schedule before bed and what they gotta do and what the menu is and who is checking in, etc etc. just to feel organized and while louis loves to be organized himself he'll always tease him like 'can we deal with tomorrow tomorrow please ???' and 'no shop talk in bed!!!' which always make harry laugh because he 100% lets harry talk about his song writing process in bed. he just doesn't want to think about HIS work in bed lol.

so yeah, i think they talk about anything and everything.

36 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#2

i had a bit of a meltdown about this last night and honestly i’m not sure i know how to articulate how grateful i am in the light of day either but … i’ll try.

tts is such an incredibly personal story for me. writing it and sharing it with people was kind of like cracking myself open and saying: here, come have a look. it was incredibly vulnerable and scary. i don’t think there are words for me to express what it’s meant to me, to have it be received with so much warmth and enthusiasm. every single one of those hits, every single comment, every message i’ve gotten on here about it… they all feel like a tight tight hug. you know the kind where you hide your face in someone’s neck and they rub your back a little and neither one of you want to let go? it’s a little bit like that and it’s incredible. while it does feel a bit weird to make posts sharing those kind of milestones (like who does she think she is bragging about her ao3 stats like this UGH), it would feel even weirder not to acknowledge it because i’m so so moved and overwhelmed and grateful. so if you’re one of those little hits (or more than one lmao), all i can say is thank you. you’ve really taught me that what i write can have profound meaning and that i’m capable of more than i thought i could with my words. and that’s fucking priceless ❤️

76 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hii can u link me to where u listen to the songs? my link won't work anymore:(

here

136 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fangirl-erdariel]

I was gonna put this in the tags but it's gonna get too long to put there easily, so sorry, I'm replying like this

But my answer is, it really depends a lot on the media in question?

Like, the thing is, I've been a Tolkien fan for ten years or thereabouts now, and I've spent most of that time being at least to some degree also a Silmarillion fan. And with Silm fandom, sometimes even with relatively major characters and relationships, there's not that much information actually given about them. Like, there's a lot of filling in blanks involved with the Silm fan experience. So subsequently, in Tolkien fandom, you can persuade me to ship just about anything if there's even a tiniest hint of emotional resonance that can be inferred from something adjacent and I happen to be in the right mood.

Like, I sort of ship Celebrían and Isildur's wife! I've never gotten around to drawing or writing them but I sorta do ship them.

And like, these are characters where... Celebrían.. we know her name, we know who her parents are, who she married in canon, who her children are, and where she lived in some time periods, and the whole "getting kidnapped by orcs and sailing to the West" thing. No personality, hobbies, skills, etc. And Isildur's wife? The fancy word, I believe, is "textual ghost". She technically exists, but we don't even know her name, let alone anything else about her. For fanfic writing purposes, she's a Schrödinger's OC. Evrrything about her, you gotta either make up yourself from scratch like making an OC, or borrow from someone else's fic or headcanon. So we have a background character of whom very little is known, and a character who is for all intents and purposes an OC that happens to slot into a hole in canon. So why do I ship them? Because both of them were (presumably; technically I'm not even sure if it's confirmed that Celebrían did but it seems the most likely option) staying at the same place during a major war that lasted the better part of a decade, and once or twice I thought about what it would be like to be in their place, waiting, far from the fighting and yet knowing that everything about your future hinges on the outcome of the war, and your loved ones are there fighting and even if the war is won you don't know whether they'll survive. And I thought about how those two characters are kinda in the same boat in that regard, and started thinking about how they'd probably talk about it and help each other bear it. And from there it just quickly evolved into shipping. I basically tricked myself into finding emotional resonance in the gaps left by outlines that weren't ever developed into full detailed stories.

So yeah, Tolkien fandom? There, if I'm in the right mood and you introduce me to the concept in the right way, you can make me ship just about anything, up to and including characters that aren't so much characters as holes where a character should go.

But then in a lot of other fandoms, that's not the case? There's some fandoms where I only ship, or could even be persuaded to ship, characters that have a fair bit of on-screen chemistry/whose dynamic is in some way fairly important in the story.

Like, BBC Musketeers? I only really ship a couple of the central canon ships and sorta Porthamis. I probably could be persuaded to ship any of the main boys, and a few major supporting characters wirh established on-screen dynamics, though

Robin of Sherwood? Honestly I barely even ship either Robin and Marion or Robert and Marion, and those are like. Canonical very plot-important ships between the main leads of the show. (Like, to be clear, I don't like mind those romances, I just wasn't super invested in them and my interest was much more in some non-romantic character dynamics and other aspects of the show). I could maybe be persuaded to ship like. some of the other major dynamics between some of the outlaws, but I'm not even sure about that.

So yeah idk it just depends so wildly from fandom to fandom that I struggle to give a definitive genersl answer. Sometimes you can just give me a theme that resonates with me and two barely existent outlines of a character to explore with it and I'll ship it, and other times even getting invested in the most central canon ship is an effort. I've yet to ever ship characters from two completely separate medias. Anyway I would say that even with fandoms where I have ships that I like toying with, shipping is never really the main angle I tend to approach the thing from

Hey, I wanna talk about how we do fandom! I've come to realize that I, personally, tend to differ from many others in that I highly prefer to only engage with a text as it's written, so I don't tend to really like fanon/extremely ooc characterizations and I find it hard to get invested in ships that aren't canon. My way of doing fandom isn't better or worse than anyone else's, but I am curious about how much of a minority I'm in! So:

*We've all seen ships of characters not from the same media and stuff like shipping the concept of ennui with the color blue, okay, I'm asking what you, personally, find compelling!

[hail-to-the-goalies]

Team Slovakia roster for 2018 World Junior Championship

(or: I introduce you my team)

[skeletonsweatshirt]

Connected || Viktor x gn!Reader

Connected - Prologue

Soulmate!AU (Red String of Fate)

Viktor x gn!Reader

WC: 1.3k

Tags: In character Viktor? I hope? Idk man he's rebellious against the whole damn universe in the first paragraph, The opening paragraphs are rated R for ROUGH (to read) and I am so sorry I just suck ass at openers, Viktor being indecisive,

Warnings: A very minor mention of trauma (nothing specific, just the idea of it in general), Mentions of poverty, The reader almost witnessed someone's death and that gets mentioned, just like the general anxiety of opening a college acceptance letter

A/N: Hello people that follow my Tumblr and enjoy my stuff for some reason! I have decided to gift you all with the start of my first fic. It's just the prologue, I know, but it's a nice start while I finish up the rest. This is basically just context for the story, which is literally the point of a prologue. Anyway, I'm gonna be honest most of the prologue is focused on the reader but it's a prologue and my story so I can do what I want. Also, I proofread this by myself! I used Grammarly to write it, but that is just about as far as getting my writing checked goes for this. So enjoy my absolute favorite person on all of Runeterra as I attempt to keep him in character.

Viktor had decided years ago that this whole "soulmate" thing wasn't for him. It was around when he had decided that going to The Academy in Piltover was for him. He figured that the universe couldn't determine what was right for him. Not by creating him as a disabled little boy in the depths of the city of Zaun. And not by permanently tying this stupid red string around his right pinky finger.

And even through all those decisions, he had decided not to cut the string. He knew it was a possibility. He heard stories of people severing their universal tie with their soulmates since he was a little boy. Freedom from the universe's sick puppet show for the small price of your ability to love, at least in a romantic way. 

Viktor had considered it. He seriously had. If he didn't want to have a soulmate in the first place, why would he keep his bond with whoever was on the other side? But then again, why should he cut it? He had no idea what his future held. He had no idea who was on the other side of that red string. He hadn't the slightest idea of who he would meet throughout his life, and he didn't want to miss the chance if one of those people shared the other end of his universal rope.

So that's what he left it up to. Chance. He wasn't the type to search for his other half, he had other ambitions, but if you crossed paths or exchanged glances across a crowded lecture hall, he wouldn't be opposed to investigating further. Ever the scientist he was.  

On the other hand, you couldn't believe it when you finally learned what the thread connected to your pinky meant. Soulmates. That was such a fascinating concept to you. It always has been. The universe knew who your perfect match was and was kind enough to allow you a visual path on how to get to them. 

Of course, you weren't about to drop everything you'd worked for just to go chase someone who, in all honesty, could be on the other side of Runeterra. That wouldn't be the first time you heard a story like that. Someone who either had nothing to lose or was privileged enough to be born with all the resources they wanted at the tips of their fingers, voyaging out like it was some unbelievable quest to go find their soulmate. They fell in love, maybe they had kids, blah blah blah. It never made much sense to you. You knew love was a powerful force- and so was flattery- but to give up your entire life just so you could go swap saliva with someone that could be halfway across the world? That didn't seem very appealing to you. 

You had seen the statistics, heard the stories, and read the facts. In almost every case, the parties encounter each other at least once before the end of their lives. So what was the rush? If you're going to interact with each other at one point or another, why waste time you could be using to better yourself or your education? Why waste time on something so superficial when it's going to happen anyway? 

Another phenomenon you couldn't quite understand was the people that chose to remove their strings. They were few and far between in most cases, notably where you had grown up in Piltover. What could've possibly happened to those individuals that caused them to be so...afraid? So fearful or upset about even the idea of meeting their soulmate that they would be willing to give up their ability to fall in love altogether? 

Your best guess was trauma. No matter what kind. The idea that you would grow into something that went so wrong in some cases. But that couldn't be everyone's story, you had hypothesized. You knew it couldn't. You had evidence. That evidence happened to assist your mother in, y'know...making you. He almost cut his string when he was younger, as he was finally starting to understand the implications of having a family. 

When you asked your father why he gave you a simple answer. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to provide for his family, whoever it consisted of. He was anxious he wouldn't be able to feed his wife or children if he had any. That was just part of the insecurity included with living in the Undercity, but once he slept on the thought, he learned he couldn't do that to himself...to his soulmate. Although he couldn't aid them, maybe they could support each other. 

You elected to skip the story your father eventually learned to love telling, about how he met your mother on a "business" trip into Piltover. You got the point. You understood that in his case, the idea of being able to give his companion a better life was worth sacrificing some of himself. You admired your father for that. He would take 1,000 bullets if it meant the people he cared for getting a better life. 

That was something your mother had said made you and your father so alike. Personally, you couldn't see it, but your mom reminded you at least weekly that you two were similar when it came to sacrificing yourself for the people you care about. 

You and your father were similar in other ways, sure. Your eyebrows knitted together in the same way when you got confused or focused. And when you were overly excited, you both got the same sparkle behind your eyes that your mom described as if "a fairy died back there or something." But sacrifice? You didn't really notice it in yourself...not for people, at least. You'd be willing to sacrifice yourself for your studies, though. You'd spent too many years filling up journals, drawing diagrams, and buying equipment to build a miniature lab in your attic for it to go to waste.

And it certainly wasn't going to waste. When you were just about done with high school, your parents received a letter from the Academy. The smooth black ink spread out over the off-white envelope with the red wax seal on the back spelled out your name, your address, and your area code. This letter was sent to you. 

You immediately ran to your bedroom when you received it. Anyone would, really. Because no matter what the result of you tearing open this thin outer layer of parchment was, you were going to cry. You dropped your bag at your door and procured a letter-opener from your desk. You sat cross-legged on your mattress without even removing your school clothes first. 

With a brief inhale and a soft sigh to let it out, you tore open the top of the letter. Your hands gently shook as you reached in and pulled out the tri-folded piece of paper. You'd witnessed a man nearly get his brains blown out by an enforcer right in front of you once, and yet this piece of tree cells and water mixed together was somehow the most daunting thing to ever occur in your presence. 

The letter began:

"Dear Y/N L/N,

We are pleased to inform you that your application to join us for the next school year has been accepted! We are ecstatic to have you join us in our collective goal of chasing the knowledge of the ages. Please..."

You decided to read the rest later. Tears were already cascading down your cheeks faster than anticipated and falling onto your semi-bare lap. Your eyes slowly drifted to the right, where you could admire the piece of scarlet cord that started at your pinky finger and draped dramatically off your bed, onto the floor, and out your bedroom door in front of you. You had a good feeling about this.

Taglist? - @hopefulfuturenovelauthor

[rogue-durin-16]

YOU DRIVE ME MAD

Summary: Fred's and Y/n's silly rivalry may have more to do with love than with hate; after a fatal incident, some confessions are made.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa

Warnings: brief mention of violence, blood, language (this seems a lot darker than it is lmao)

A/N: idk man I just love this idiot so here it comes another oneshot. The reader's house is not specified btw. Enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Fred spotted me and walked to stand near me before asking jokingly "On your way to kill a man, Y/n?" Oh, little did he know.

"what is that?!" I exclaimed at the sight of my friend's bruised arm.

"uhm... Nothing."

"who did that to you?" I knew the answer before I even got it. My friend had gone to break up with that Cormac McLaggen the previous night; she had finally listened to us and ended that toxic relationship they had, but apparently she got a souvenir from it.

"It's fine- he didn't mean to- Y/n don't do anything stupid." Too late, I saw red.

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Weasley." I curtly replied bumping his shoulder while I walked past him, making his smile drop in confusion. I never missed the opportunity to start a playful argument with him, but, as I had said, I didn't have time for that.

With the corner of my eye, I saw him joining my friends in the task of trailing after me.

I spotted the bastard chatting with his friends in the middle of the hallway that led to the Great Hall. "Oi, McLaggen!"

"Evening, Y/l/n." That filthy grin vanished from his face when I kicked him in the balls, triggering some gasps from our peers and a grunt of pain from him.

"Listen carefully, you loathsome pig." I leaned over to be eye to eye with him. "If you dare to lay a finger on my friend again— if you even think about it— I'll become your personal nightmare." I stood upright again, his eyes full of hate and rage following my movements. "You don't deserve a bloody warning, but I'm a generous woman." Poison dripped off my tongue, my eyes throwing daggers at him as I stepped back and turned around.

My eyes met Fred's worried ones while I made my way to my friends; they surely had told him enough for the ginger to know this was no time for joking and teasing.

His gaze then flickered behind me with panic and I realized a tad too late I shouldn't have turned my back to McLaggen; at the end of the day, pride overpowered honour in a lot of Gryffindors.

I spun around, grabbing my wand from my pocket, but I wasn't fast enough; before I knew what was happening, Fred was in front of me, serving as a human shield from the jinx.

The unknown spell hit his back and propelled us in my friends' direction. I was quickly on my knees, sitting Fred up and earning a grunt in the process, which I initially thought was caused by the fall. "Are you mental?!" My friend casted an Expelliarmus at the younger Gryffindor, long forgotten due to Fred's actions.

"My back— AH!" He yelped when I tried to pull him up.

"OI!" A first year who had made his way to the first row of students frantically gestured at Fred's back. "He's bleeding!!"

"What?!" I made him lean on me to take a look at his white shirt, now stained with blood. What I thought to be a harmless jinx turned out to be fatal.

"He's not supposed to be bleeding!" Cormac shouted, as panicked as I was.

One of my friends said something about going to look for George while the others shoot off to look for Madam Pomfrey.

"I'm gonna kill him..." Fred mumbled through gritted teeth, his voice shaky and weak. He felt so fragile in my arms, and I couldn't help the tears stinging my eyes.

"Fred—" his hands, which had been gripping my forearms, lost strength as the boy's body relaxed. "For fuck's sake don't fall asleep."

"... 'm trying..."

"FREDDIE!" His twin brother rushed to us, falling on his knees by his brother's side.

"I'm sorry." McLaggen had walked to us, keeping a safe distance.

"YOU'RE DEAD MCLAGGEN!" George stood up before I could stop him. Luckily for everyone, Madam Pomfrey showed up.

"Oh Lord! Mister Weasley, quick! Help me with your brother!" The Healer commanded, and soon they were pulling Fred off my grasp and rushing to the infirmary.

I was left in the middle of the hallway with my friends showering me with worried questions and reassurance.

What the fuck had just happened?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

During dinner, several girls and a couple of boys came to congratulate me for kicking McLaggen's balls, and it would have been a lot more satisfactory if Fred Weasley hadn't stepped in the middle.

As soon as I finished my meal, I headed to the infirmary through the now quiet halls, only to find there were too many people visiting.

Of course, George was there, along with their younger siblings and Lee Jordan, but in front of them stood Professor Flitwick, Professor McGonagall and none other than Cormac McLaggen himself.

"—already told you it wasn't for you!"

"How is that an apology, Mister McLaggen?" McGonagall scolded him, refraining herself from hitting the boy herself.

"You better fucking run, McLaggen, because the moment I can step out of this bed I swear on Godric I will—"

"Enough, Mister Weasley!" I almost pitied the poor woman. Her House was probably the most problematic. "All of you must go to your dormitories, Mister Weasley needs to rest." I stood on the entrance of the room, unsure of whether I should leave or enter, until Flitwick's eyes landed on my form. He redirected McGonagall's attention to me, and I felt the need of shying away. "Miss Y/l/n," I didn't miss the failed attempt of Fred to move; luckily, he was stopped by his sister. "I suppose you wanted to pay a visit?"

"Uhm... I did, Professor." I confessed, fidgeting with the sleeves of my robe. "I know it's late—"

"Don't take too long." She spoke, motioning everyone to follow her. "Curfew is still at 10." She reminded me in a warning tone, passing by.

As soon as they were out, I made my way to Fred, who lay on his stomach in one of the beds, the sheets only covering his legs an hips in order to avoid the clothing chaffing his damaged skin.

"You have a heart after all, huh?" He teased once I stood in front of him.

"How are you?" He frowned at my genuine question; the ginger surely expected me to make a witty comeback, but again, it didn't seem the time.

"A tad better." He gave me a reassuring half smile, deciding to drop our banter for a night. "Flitwick said he used a stinging jinx but casted it wrong." Fred huffed. "A bloody tosser."

He motioned at the chair behind me and I sat down, scooting closer to the bed. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he had jumped in front of me. It had hit his back, but I knew it was meant to hit my face —what a mess that would have been—, and I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"It's not on you." I felt my face flaring up at the ease with which he saw through me. I wasn't the first time he did that, but it was the first time he didn't use it to tease me.

"I know, I just—" I sighed. "I don't know." Though my sight was casted down, I still felt his worried gaze on me. "I'm gonna murder him."

"I reckon George will overtake us both on that." He tried to laugh but ended up in a since instead. "Or Gin. Maybe they'll team up with Ron and we'll find a corpse in the Gryffindor common room tomorrow." This time it was me who laughed. "How's your friend?"

"She'll be alright." I informed, distracting myself with a loose string at the hem of my skirt.

"And you?" I met his eyes with a hum leaving my mouth. "How are you?"

"Been better." I confessed.

Silence.

"Can you pass me the water?" I nodded, holding the glass in front of him and putting the straw in his mouth so he could take a couple of sips. "Thanks."

"No worries."

Silence again.

"Did you eat something?"

He scrunched his nose. "Not really."

"I'll go grab something from the kitchens." I didn't get far before his long fingers wrapped around my wrist.

"I'd rather have you here keeping my company." I then sat down again, his fingers only leaving my wrist to intertwin with mines. "I'm not hungry anyway."

More silence.

"Your hand is really soft." I reckon those words involuntarily escaped his lips by the way his eyes widened. "I don't know why I said that."

"Yours is too, surprisingly."

"Surprisingly?" He quirked an eyebrow at me, and I didn't quite realise what his grin was about until I spoke again.

"I imagined they'd be more rough." Oh no. "That came out wrong— I meant—"

"That you've imagined what my hands would feel like?" He was trying to bite back a laugh at the way my face turned red.

"No!"

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Liar."

There we went again; the white flag was out.

"Fuck you."

"Please." My cheeks turned even redder, and I wanted to think it was because of the anger. "You look really cute when you blush."

"You look really cute when you keep your mouth shut."

"Then shut me, love." He wiggled his brows at me.

"I would, but I don't wanna punch you in this state."

"You're very agressive." He pointed out, shocked that I didn't get what he was implying. "I meant with a kiss."

"Ew-" I pretended to gag. "no!"

He tugged on my hand and pulled me to my knees falling right in front of his eyes with our faces inches away. "C'mon Y/l/n, we're dragging this on now." His eyes kept falling on my mouth after I had unconsciously chewed on my lower lip.

"We're... We're not dragging on anything." I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

"Do you want me to start? Alright, you drive me mad." He forced his gaze to be fixed on mine. "You're annoying, rude and a pain in the arse." I huffed. "But you're also quick-witted and caring and brave." Gosh I hated how easily he made me blush. "Sometimes I want to punch you in that pretty face of yours but other times— most of the times— all I wanna do is kiss you." His thumb caressed the back of my hand. "Hell, I threw myself between you and that blonker without thinking twice!"

He raised his eyebrows, silently prompting me to say something, but I just didn't know what to say.

"Miss Y/l/n," Madam Pomfrey called, making me let go of Fred's hand an stood up. "It's almost ten o'clock! Let Mister Weasley rest." I nodded, not even looking in Fred's direction as I exited the infirmary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

The morning after the incident, Dean and Neville dragged in an unrecognisable McLaggen; they were probably the only ones who cared about that bloke enough to take him to Madam Pomfrey, though they did it half-heartedly.

I was discharged after three days in, right before lunch, and obviously, I was received as a hero; several people came to praise my bravery or ask how I was feeling, but I just wanted to see one person.

That night in the infirmary I was sure she felt the same way —hell, I had been sure for a couple of months— but after seeing her reaction, I didn't really know anymore.

I could always tell her it was a prank, and we would go back to our usual bickering. "Weasley!" Shit. "Fred!" She specified when the four of us turned at the call of our surname, almost jogging in my direction. "Can we talk?"

"Go ahead, darling." I prompted her without moving from my seat.

"In private?"

"Nah," I begged Godric for her not to see behind my grin the panic that produced me the mere thought of being left alone with her.

"Are you joking?" She huffed and, after taking a deep breath, she spoke. I wasn't expecting her to speak. "So you see, you're cheeky and stupid and not nearly as funny as you think." Ginny spit her pumpkin juice due to Y/n's harsh words. "but I... ugh! Okay— I want to kiss you too."

This time it was Ron who choked on his drink. "What's going on?"

"I feel like we missed an important part of this conversation." George commented.

This time it was Y/n who awaited for an answer. "This is literally the most embarrassing thing ever, so at least say something." She commanded in a rather rude tone, tapping her shoe against the floor.

I winced ever so slightly at the effort of getting up, but it was worth it when I saw her expression as I towered her; I reckon I had never seen her that sheepish before.

"That's a really mean way of saying you're attracted to me." I observed, quirking a brow at her. "Dunno why I fancy you so much."

"Well that makes the two of us." I couldn't help but chuckle at her attitude before cupping her cheeks and bring her lips to mine.

Finally.

Despite being a short, innocent kiss, was enough to make us both blush and grin like idiots.

"Awww" I rolled my eyes at my twin's mockery, knowing damn well I wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Why do I feel like I'm gonna miss you two being at each other's throat?" I couldn't care less about Ron's question as Y/n pulled me down for another kiss.

Almost bleeding to death seemed worth it in that moment.

[sharkbait77]

Banner by me! (Which does give you little clues to the story 🤭) *pictures found on Pinterest

The Sun Sets With You

Ezra Prospect x f!Reader

A Pioneer Age AU

Summary: A simple yet despondent farm life suddenly sparks with new hope when an unusual traveler makes your town his latest stop and brings with him intriguing and promising viewpoints and no one to share them with. Until he meets you.

Rating: M (due to the context of the story throughout)

Warnings: Feelings of desolation/despondency/depression (it won’t last long, I promise), death of a parent mentioned throughout (a constant theme, pls be aware), grief, angst, age old sexism, unsolicited advances, general fluff, as of this moment, I have no smut chapter planned. Sorry! But oh well lol (will add warnings to each chapter)

A/N: Okay okay okay! I wasn’t expecting to say anything about this for a while but I’ve kinda hyped some people up about it & I don’t want it to die so here we go lol so this AU idea slapped me in the face one day out of the blue. I knew I wanted to do a pioneer age AU with one of the boys & the more I thought about it, the more I felt a strong pull towards Ezra.

I tried to fight it bc there are some amazing Ezra AUs right now and idk, I didn’t want it to seem like I was jumping that bandwagon as well (silly, I know), but I just couldn’t help myself. The time period, the wordplay, the scenes I was imagining in my head all revolved around Ezra. So I hope it’s okay, I hope you don’t mind, but most of all, I hope I do Ezra justice.

He is such a difficult character to write for, & it truly threw me for a loop trying to get his elocution down, but I’m so proud of myself for pushing through & facing the challenge. I reread his scenes multiple times, watched Prospect over & over, & I still don't think it’s perfect, but I didn’t want to make myself go crazy either lol but not only that, I also completely switched up my own writing for the time period of this story which was so fun to do.

I did as much research as I could for this, tabs upon tabs open to learn more about this era (I did not even do this in high school lol) but my little disclaimer is that it might not all be historically accurate, but I hope I got enough of the basics down for you to get a feel of the times.

Also a quick note I’m making because we don’t actually know his last name in the movie, I decided to keep it as Prospect bc I found out that it was actually a last name in the late 1800s, which is when this story is set, & it was unique at the time, and it all fits the characterization of our dear Ezra & I just thought it was funny how that worked out.

This story will not be for everyone, as you can see the warnings above, those will be recurring themes throughout. Some chapters more than others, which I will properly disclose in each one. I, myself, know the pain of losing close loved ones and a lot of how Reader feels is what I pulled inspiration from myself for, so this story is very personal for me.

I’m rambling because I’m nervous as fuck & I'm not sure how it will be received, & mine definitely won’t be as great as everyone else’s, but I’m so proud of myself so I’m gonna post it anyway and I just hope people enjoy it too. I’m attaching the same taglist I’ve had on my other fics (plus more that specified interest in this particular story), so please let me know if you’d like to be removed & anyone else that sees this, let me know if you’d like to be on it ♥���

Coming soon!

Tags: @the-ginger-hedge-witch @asta-lily @honeymandos @pascalpanic @aliwritesfic @mandocrasis @hnt-escape @winter-fox-queen @barbossa2319 @sarahjkl82-blog @day-off-inkyoto @pedrocentric @astoryisaloveaffair @ezrasbirdie @danniburgh @foli-vora @lucrezia-thoughts @djarinsbeskar @chasingdreamer @meesterblack @amandalovess @hunterofartem1s

[harold231]

It wasn't real

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Posted: 04/30/2021

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None? Maybe a lil angst just a lel bet.

A/N: I think it might be good? Idk You let me know. But like frfr, don't just give me feedback in your mind, put it into words. Also I apparently have a thing for Bucky in a dotted apron soooo yeah.

FYI: time zone/era is open for interpretation. Bucky never became an avenger/soldat and steve isn't part of this one.

The wind that blew around you was warm and sweet with the scent of freshly bloomed flowers. Perhaps it was an act of kindness from some God trying to distract you from the cold bitterness settling into your bones. Closing your eyes you conjure the very memory that left you so desolate.

The sun snuck it's way through the curtains to illuminate the room, effectively disturbing the sleep that you always seemed to be craving. Waking up is always hassle but whenever you remember that you get to spend your day with the only person who tolerates you and you him, getting out of bed is the easiest thing. Bucky is crazy and the damn boy is never in one spot for to long and he always has something to say, but you can't imagine how boring your days would be if you guys had never met. well technically if your parents had never met.

When you were a child you parents had to move to new york for business and they decided that Brooklyn was the place to be. You had been Bucky's neighbor and the first day you guys moved in his mom had dragged him over with the most delicious angel food cake that he so proudly claimed to have made mostly on his own. He just loved cooking and baking since forever, he would tell you that he just liked experimenting with foods but you knew the truth was that the boy liked to eat and didn't have the patience to wait for his mother to come home.

Only a few years after your family had moved to Brooklyn you and Bucky had already built an unbreakable bond. You guys had found a beautiful cherry tree one day when playing tag and had deemed it to be your's and Bucky's spot. Whenever you had a bad day or needed time away from the world you guys would go to the tree and just pick cherries, in the winter time you and Bucky would lay under the tree and kick the trunk so that the snow would fall from the leaves. It was the place where at only 15 years old bucky swore he would open his own Bakery and to quote him "I'm serving my ma's food my way doll, It's gonna be the next best thing to hit New York."

You were laying on the ground with your hands crossed behind your head looking up at Bucky swinging upside down from a branch when he told you all this. You felt something you had never felt before at that moment, looking up at the wild haired boy who loved to eat, loved his family, and had the most ambition you had ever heard from kids your age. Your heart felt full and your cheeks grew warm as you looked up at the same blue eyes you had know for years now, only this time you notice the way they twinkle in the sunlight and how rosy his lips are. Now 7 years laters you and Bucky were preparing to open the very bakery he promised you he'd open. Banners were beautifully strung along the walls and cute retro china was set out, ready to be filled for opening day. There was no hesitation from you when Bucky had asked you to run the bakery with him, you were excited to spend your days with the person you hoped you would spend the rest of your life with.

At around 6:30 in the morning you had arrived at the bakery but it seemed that Bucky had beat you to it. The smell of fresh angel food cake and cocoa danced up your nose as soon as you opened the door. Closing your eyes you smiled at the memories that it brought back. Moving to the back you grabbed your Disney themed apron and placed your bag and coat in its place before scurrying over to the kitchen while trying (and failing) to tie your apron. There in all his dorkiness was Bucky wiggling around to the chordettes. He knew that you loved the 50's aesthetic so he found a way to incorporate it without going overboard, by adding little trinkets, a jukebox, and even those cute little dining tables. In fact at the moment he was wearing a ruffly red polka dotted apron as he frosted some cupcakes.

Apron tied, you were finally ready to get to work. You walked up to Bucky bumping his hip as you reached for some cupcake pans, "Whatcha doin here so early Buck, we don't open until 12" he looks at you with squinted eyes, "The hell are you doing here so early." "Woah,woah,woah completely unprovoked. I'm just saying cuz' you were the one complaining about the opening time being set at 8. Like damn." Breathing out a huff of air he wipes his forehead with a towel "I'm sorry doll, I'm just super nervous and I couldn't sleep so I came to start baking things. I already frosted the ice cream cakes and I just finished the pies, but I was thinking that maybe we needed some cupcakes too, even though we already baked so many pastries and stuff last night I'm worried it won't be enough."

Setting down the trays you move to hug Bucky from behind holding him close to you. "Buck I know we'll do great your food is too good to pass up on especially when it's free." You place a soft kiss to his shoulder " I promise you'll do great, everything you do is amazing you try your hardest at everything Buck, You've worked your butt off and made mine considerably larger to get here, don't start losing your mind on me now." A cute little laugh from Bucky lets you know that he's hearing you and he isn't so stressed anymore. "I just want this to be perfect ya know?" with your head still against his back you nod, "I just want it to be a special day for my special girl."

You couldn't stop the slight blush that rose to your cheeks or the way that your heart suddenly started beating three times faster. You had also wanted to make him something special which is why you had got here so early. Finally releasing your hold on Bucky you straighten your apron out before gathering everything you need for some red velvet cupcakes. Bucky loved your red velvet cake so you loved making it for him. After hours of mixing, baking, and frosting had passed, you guys were rewarded with a bakery that looked as great as it smelled. "Alright doll, I'm heading out, I gotta go get ready. Meet you back here at 12 , Love ya." He didn't even give you a chance to answer as he ran right out the door. "Love you too."

You had stayed behind just a little while longer as you perfected your secret project. Carefully you added snowflakes to some of the cupcakes because you knew how much he loved snow even if he hated winter, some cats, flowers that reminded you of bucky, and one extra special cupcake. When you finish you decide to clean up a bit more and prepare some drinks for later before heading home to get ready. As soon as you got home you took a shower and did the simplest of make up with a light pink lip. You had decided to wear a dress to match the blossoming flowers that spring had brought. Pink with a yellow lace trim and flowers embroided all over the dress, matching it with some yellow flats.

You had decided that it was a perfect day for a walk so you grabbed a light scarf and slung it over your shoulders, grabbed Bucky's cupcakes, and headed over to the bakery. You felt as if a Hundred pounds had been lifted from your shoulders knowing that Bucky had felt the same way about you. You had decided that you would tell him today with your special cupcakes. As you rounded the corner you felt giddy and you couldn't wipe the smile from your face no matter how hard you tried. As you reached the bakery you saw that a majority of the people had already arrived and you knew that it would put Bucky at ease to see all the people enjoying his food. You stopped at the window, closing your eyes to take a deep breath to prepare yourself to join the celebration.

Opening your eyes you reached for the handle only to stop at the sight on the other side of the door. Bucky stood there arms wrapped around a woman eyes locked on hers as he leaned in for a kiss. It must have all happened in about 30 seconds but it felt as if time himself had slowed it down for you to watch the way he tilted her head and ran his tongue along her bottom lip before finally uniting their lips. Your heart dropped as quickly as your smile did and suddenly you felt so stupid for thinking this could be real. You willed yourself not to cry as you allowed your legs to carry you anywhere but there.

That's how you found yourself sitting underneath a blossoming cherry tree. A tree that held only happy memories because it wasn't a place you could be sad... back then. With your back against the tree and box of cupcakes full of unrequited love in your lap you realize how much you over romanticized Bucky. Opening the box you decide it would be a shame to let them go to waste. The first one you grab has a big red heart frosted in the middle, you let out a deep sigh before breaking the cupcake right down the middle. You shove half of the cupcake into your mouth and only then do you allow the tears to fall. You sat there for hours crying eating cupcakes, watching the sunset, and thinking about everything that Bucky did for you, as a friend. You realize you had no right to be angry at Bucky, after all you never told him how you felt you just assumed that he would feel the same way after so many years. With every broken memory another cupcake vanished.

He was always there for you, when no one wanted to come to your slumber party Bucky did and he even did all the girly things with you. Painting your nails, doing your hair, watching chick flicks, and pillow fights. once he even asserted that no one could protect you as well as he could, when you had decided to go camping with your friend from class so he insisted on taking you himself. Your friend was most noticeably gay so you had assumed he wanted to spend time alone with you. But now that you think back on those memories these are things that anyone would do for their bestfriend. And that's what you realized 8 hours and 11 cupcakes later.

The moon floated above you and as it's white rays settled upon the lake you decided it might be time to go home now. You get up and dust your dress off before leaning down to grab the mostly empty box. Turning around you are stopped again by what's in front of you. Bucky stands there brows furrowed as his eyes flash from you to the box in your hands. "Where the hell have you been, I've been calling you all day." swallowing the lump in your throat you go to answer but are interrupted. " everyone's been asking me about you all night and I had no damn idea what to tell them, but apparently you were just out here being inconsiderate. You go and tell me I can do great tonight, that you'd be there for me, but you weren't." You try to answer him but are again interrupted. "You could have told me something earlier instead of leaving me there like a dumb-" "SHUT UP!" this time it was your turn to interrupt him.

Taking a deep breath you look into his eyes before explaining. "Of course I was ready to be there today, you think I wore this dress to sit under a damn tree? Well I didn't. When I left my apartment I was ready and I was excited, so excited. I couldn't even stop smiling on my way over, but then I got to the shop and I saw-" Immediately you stopped as you realized what you were about to say. He cocked an eyebrow and shook his head slightly as if to say 'Hello?' "You saw what? What did you see that would make you abandon ship just like that?" Shame flushed through your being and you could no longer keep eye contact. "Nothing, you know what, it doesn't even matter. I'm sorry I was being dramatic I should have been an adult and dealt with it on my own time. And I'm sorry I abandoned you all, but the night was about you anyways."

"The night was supposed to be about the both of us so it does matter if you saw something that made you want to leave. Just tell me doll, what did you see?" his voice is soft as he pleads with you. "I saw... well I saw you kissing that lady and I just wanted get away and ended up here okay!?" You said it all in a jumble hoping that he wouldn't be able to understand what you had said. But luck wasn't your friend so of course he did. "So seeing me kiss another person was so gross to you that you had to run away, what the hell? are you 13 again?" You hadn't admitted it outloud yet and it seemed that the dumbass in front of you was going to force it out of you.

Stepping around Bucky you pull your scarf tight around your body as you focus on not crying anymore until you get home. You distract yourself by thinking of all the love you saw in all the little things Bucky did for you. Dancing around the newly furnished bakery body against body as frank sinatra brought you heart to heart, watching rom-coms and ugly crying together, but by the time you get home you force yourself to face the ugly truth. The Love was always in your head. It wasn't real.

A new wave of tears blurred your vision as teardrops fell perfectly to the ground. "It's because I have feelings for you Bucky, and I now know you don't feel the same way." Sniffling you don't bother looking up because your heart is to broken for that right now. "I'm Just gonna need a little bit of time and I'll be back good as new like nothing even happened." Still unable to lift your gaze from the ground you decide to focus on the last cupcake left in the box. 'I Love You' is written in tiny light blue frosting letters. "I uhm, uhh." That brought your attention to Bucky, as embarrassment pulsed as strong as ever through your veins. " You don't have to say anything Buck, It's fine, I'll see you next week, on monday" you hand him the box as you go to pass him "I think you would have a better use for this than me I ate 11 others already so."

Divider credits: @firefly-graphics

[binniesthighs]

i loveeee your first write abt Jisung omgggg he is like one of my BIGGEST bias wrecker of all time so i was like WOAH THERE,,,, and i was so hooked on your writings i wanna see more 👀 if you have free time can i please ask for a Jeonghan smut where he is your rival in everything let's say at school and u didn't actually like him at first but he kinda flirts and idk I'm just so into Jeonghan's cocky behavior these daysss he's making me feel thiiiiiiingsssss 😩❤️

ahh thank you anon you are so so sweet! ♡ I’m so happy that you liked my Jisung stuff! I love writing for that boy hehe and thank you so much for requesting love!! this is my first seventeen ask I’m so so excited to write more of them in the future! my brain really took this one and rannnn with it, it ended up a bit harder than I intended, I hope that’s okay and I hope that you enjoy it!

what i want most |reader x jeonghan |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x yoon jeonghan

Genre: lil bit of smut, lil bit of angst

Tags: harddom!jeonghan, bratty!reader, enemies (competitors) to lovers, college au, jeonghan being our fave cocky boy, bestfriend!seungcheol, mentions of school work, slow-ish burn, masturbation (reader), use of degrading names, dumification, hook-up, choking, marking, spanking, facefucking, gagging, use of safe symbols, nipple play, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie, slight exhibitionism, semi-public sex, sex in a study room

Word count: 4k

Someone told you once long ago that hate is a strong word. Apparently, they had never experienced loathing before. To you, hate always seemed to be something playful, something a little teasing. When your best friends would mock you for the most insignificant things, you would say “cut that shit out. You know that I hate you right?”

Loathing is much more fun. Loathing holds more of an edge. Loathing keeps you up at night, and lingers in your mind. Loathing digs into your skin like a papercut, coming back to sting later when you stretch your skin. Loathing made you feel all twisted up inside. This one super-massive emotion is one that clings to you and makes you jealous and irritable, and the best of all, competitive.

You don’t know what you would be without loathing...if not for him.

But as much as you loathed him, he was the perfect elixir of sugar-coated poison.  

He kept you up at night. He lingered in your mind.

Everything about you, he had to do too. You didn’t know at this point if it was some kind of joke, or that the two of you had miraculously been crafted to be just that similar.

Since the day that you had met him three years ago in undergrad, there wasn’t one class that the two of you didn’t share. Every single job that you applied to, he would apply to as well. Each professor that you would introduce yourself to, the next day he would be cozied up next to them talking about some kind of bullshit and pretended to care about their personal lives. He even chose the exact same grad program as you.

When the two of you graduated, it was him who sucked in his lip, never breaking with your eyes when he received higher honors than you. He probably loathed you too.

That would keep you up at night too.

There were other things about him as well that would creep into the corners of your sleep deprived brain. You would stare into the darkness of your room, eyes glued to the ceiling with your mind exploring shameless answers.

During these dark nights, your hand would absentmindedly cascade down your body, snaking your fingers down the soft of your skin. Behind your eyes, it was him sending shivers down your body. It was his lithe fingers, not yours, that would reach down to your aching sex to pleasure you into all the fantasies that only remained within the confines of your own mind. Before you would climax, it was his name that you whispered out into the air, not even knowing that you did.

“Jeonghan.”

•·················•·················•

“Are you going to finish that, or what?”

Seungcheol rummaged around your bag of chips that were barely touched.

Your highlighter skimmed over your page, you twisted the writing utensils around in your hand to scratch down a note with your pen. Truthfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“...I mean, if you don’t, I will. Can’t let stuff like this go to waste.” He held the bag in his lap, happily crunching away and tapping his foot a little.

“--Can you chew quieter?”

“...Me?”

“Yes, you.” You bopped him softly on top of his wavy caramel hair with your marked up article.

Seungcheol cringed and rubbed the top of his head as if you had hit him with something much denser than a stack of paper.

“In my defense, there isn’t really a quiet way to eat chips.” He popped another one in. “Are you gonna be done soon? It’s too...still out here.”

“You’re the one that suggested coming here!”

His puppy-like face turned combative. “I did!...only because I think it’s pretty though.” Your friend shied away, trying to uphold his promise of “chewing quieter,” and subsequently failing.

He wasn’t wrong however, the courtyard in the middle of the library was very pretty, and you had been glad that he had suggested the two of you take lunch there. Inside the square shaped yard, a few trees had been planted with low swaying branches of little oval shaped leaves. There were hedges and a myriad of flowering plants with petals that were pink or yellow or purple. Somehow the little square was untouched by sound, save for a couple songbirds. Had you not a copious amount of work to take care of, you would have admired it all for hours.

“--And to answer your question, no, I will not be done soon. Sorry. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Seungcheol cooly threw one of his arms over the silver outdoor chair next to him, shaking you off. “I don’t mind. I don’t have anything else that I really wanna be doing right now.”

“--Your thesis maybe?” You crashed your knee into his under the table and threw him a teasing smirk.

“I said, anything that I want to do.”

You nabbed one of your chips back. “Suit yourself then.”

The door to the courtyard clicked, followed by the creak of the old library door. Such a metallic sound stole the tranquility of the whole space.

“Y/n.”

Jeonghan came floating behind you, dressed in his usual attire: some type of glamorous pairing of dress pants and a button down as well as shoes that looked as if they had just been shined. He wore some kind of cologne that draped after him with a dizzying type of efflorescence. Everything about him was meticulously planned, down to the few purposefully unkempt strands of chocolate brown hair on his forehead.

He craned his neck a little to see your messy scribbles.

“You’re reading Nebasifu?”

Jeonghan leaned over you, tracing a finger over the neon orange highlights you had made. He shocked you with how close he had let himself get to you, practically encapsulating you in his arms. You found yourself staring into his neck, that floral scent forcibly permeating your air.

“Hmm.”

He hummed as he read over your notes. “Interesting conclusions right? The fact that in governance we create more problems when trying to solves the ones we have already made? It’s all so circular isn’t it?”

Your sweating palm crunched the paper out from under his fingertips.

“--Really interesting. I’d like to finish it...if you please.” While your words were polite, but they still bit.

“I can recommend more similar readings if you’re interested?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer.”

“If it doesn’t make sense, you can always reach out, we can talk it through...I’ve found that discussing--”

“--I said that I’m fine. Nice talking to you Jeonghan.” You cast your eyes down to your paper and attempt to slow your viciously beating chest.

fucking leave. You pleaded, knuckles turning white around your pen.

“Alright then. See you later.” He straightened his glasses upon his nose bridge. “I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the topics later.”

He swept his hand lightly across your back. It was the most fleeting of gestures, but your entire body froze from it.  

Jeonghan situated himself at one of the benches and drew out a book. He sat in the direct beams of the afternoon sun. The brown wisps of hair that hit the light looked nearly golden. You loathed that he was breathtaking without even really trying.

Seungcheol grinded his teeth, muttering out, “Fucking creep. He can’t talk to you like that.” Even quieter, “I’ll take him out for you if you want me to.”

You stifled a laugh. You couldn’t help your eyes which would flutter over to him like it was forbidden.

“No, don’t do that. But thank you ‘Cheol.”

“I’ll do it! I swear...”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan had a terrible habit. Not like it was particularly distracting, it was just something that you had taken notice of. From where you would sit nearly across the room from him, he would remove his glasses, then rest one of the temple tips between his lips. Sometimes, the click of his teeth would meet the plastic. It was a simple action, but the way that the little curve would rest on the pink of his lips made your mind wonder...the poison that would leave those same lips couldn’t have been real; not when they looked so sweet.

“--anyone want to share what they got out of the readings and case studies? What can we learn about our interference and the sovereignty of other states?”

You were only partially paying attention when Jeonghan silently rose his hand.

“I think that Y/n had a particularly interesting oponion on this. We were discussing this previously.” He curved his body around to meet your eyes which had already been inspecting him.

With an expectant crossing of his arms, your professor approached your desk. “Y/n?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you, but Jeonghan’s burned with the hottest flame.

You took your shaking hands into your lap, then gave your oponion as eloquently as you could, swallowing down your nerves. As usual, you were perfectly well spoken, as you knew you were. The professor nodded along with each point of your argument.

“--Very well articulated Y/n. And your counterpoints are provoking as well.” He finally turned to pace away. “Would anyone like to expand?”

Your professor’s body mass moved, revealing Jeonghan’s nearly sinful prideful smile. It was like he had given you a test, and you had passed magnificently. With the cock of his head, he mouthed,

“that was lovely.”

“I’d like to expand.” He piped, removing his glasses. Just as he always would, he tapped them between his lips, letting the skin fall a little by them. You had noticed it before, but they were smooth and plump. “I think that Y/n is correct...in many ways, but some points are a bit misguided, I would argue....”

•·················•·················•

[09:23 pm]

cheol: you coming back anytime soon?  i can’t believe you’re doing this to me on a friday. is it really that serious?

[09:26 pm]

me: need I remind you that you should probably be here with me? thesis papers don’t write themselves.

cheol: and I should remind YOU that we literally just got off break? they aren’t due for months.

i know what you’re trying to prove.

it’s not worth it.

what does that asshole have over you?

“--Shouldn’t you be back at home with that golden retriever of yours?”

Jeonghan’s pen tapped at your table, white sleeves rolled up. The day had taken it’s toll on him. The bags under his eyes proved that even someone as picturesque as him could still be effected by your long days. Nevertheless disheveled, he was just as alluring.

“And shouldn’t you be flirting with one of your students?” You clicked your phone off.

“Cute. Luckily I’m not one of the desperate ones starving for the attention of the little undergrads. That's a different kind of pathetic.”

“Hmmm. I just thought that it was the attention that you were after.” Heat rose to your ears while you breathed your beating heart down.

"Who doesn’t like attention? Especially if it’s from the right people...speaking of undergrads...”

Jeonghan’s slender neck twisted to eye the obnoxious group of students huddled up on a table, giggling and making a mess of their snacks.

“You’re studying out here? I can’t even--”

“--I appreciate the concern, but you’re not helping my focus either.”

“Am I...distracting you?” Jeonghan swept his warm brown hair to the side with the cock of his eyebrow.

You shook out a sigh. “Yes.”

“You don’t have an office?”

“Department didn’t have any more.”

“I’ve got a study room that I host study sessions in. You want to use it?”

“You’re offering to help me?”

“Listen, I know how hard our program can be, and I appreciate how hard you work. You deserve a quiet place to work.”

“Are you complimenting me?”

“Don’t make me change my mind...and what would I do if the competition suddenly dropped out?” He tapped the table with his fingertips. “That wouldn’t be very much fun.”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan’s study room was simple, just like all the others in the library. It was stark, white, the tables were a bit banged up and the white board was riddled with little ink remnants. There were glass windows nearly everywhere so you could overlook both the outdoors and the rest of the library on the opposite wall. As the two of you entered, he calmly closed all the blinds.

“No distractions right?” He looked back to you.

“...do you have something that you need to get done too?”

“Not really. I’ve submitted a good chunk of my thesis for review.”

Of course he had.

“I’m just waiting to hear back.”

He crossed the room to sit directly next to you, slinging his legs up on the table and taking out that same book from earlier: it had some pretentious title that you had never heard of before.

“Don’t mind me.” He chided your straying eyes. “I’m only staying to lock the door after you.”

“I-I’m not...” Your eyes feel back to your computer and you typed at your keyboard just to fill the sound of the quiet room.

Sitting this close to you, you could smell that dizzyingly sweet smell of his again.

You loathed him for the way that he could be doing nothing and you could be enthralled in merely that.

Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t leave his page. “The more that you look at me, the less you’re working.”

You hadn’t even noticed.

“I guess I’m more distracting than I thought.���

Furious heat rose from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your ears.

“What the hell do you get off on?” You spat.

He calmly placed his book on the table. “What are you referring to?”

“For the past three years, you haven’t left me alone for a single second, you-you always do everything that I do like you’re on some kind of sick quest to prove that you’re better than me, better than anyone else--”

“--You think that I’m copying you?”

“Wha-what else would you be doing?”

“--Getting an education? God, you think that I’m the attention whore, aren’t you hearing yourself?? You must think that I’m obsessed with you.”

“What is it then? A superiority complex so fucking huge--”

“--You’re asking what it is that I want?”

You nodded back with heaving breaths.

“What I get off on? Well...” Jeonghan chuckled a little and raked his hands through his brown strands. “You don’t deserve to know. But there is one thing that I’ve wanted for a while that I haven’t been able to get my hands on. I suppose that’s what I want most.”

“And that is?”

Tentatively, he rose his hand nearer to you, saying nothing, his aura shifting from cocky to intrigued. At first, his fingers traced over the skin of your hand as if he was drawing little pictures into it. After he brushed his hand up your arm to weave a little strand of your hair around his fingers.

“I said you don’t deserve to know.”

You must have been in a daze; some kind of waking intoxication before your thoughts could catch up with your actions. It was almost as if you weren’t thinking anything at all, but where acting on prime instinct. Your whole body screamed with utter frustration: every word that he spoke to you make you loathe him even more, you wouldn’t ever let him get away with it.

There was something that you too wanted most, no matter how abhorrent it was.

Your thighs squeezed into his sides where you had straddled him in his chair, holding on to him so tightly it hurt your muscles. The haste on your lips on his was messy and hot, a smearing of skin and teeth crashing together with fury, tongues rolling off eachother with an undeniable hunger. His arms didn’t wrap around you but rather clawed in your hair, pulling slightly at the roots while he pulled you in impossibly close. The mixing of your gasping breaths together where whiny and yearning. As he kissed into you, his lips curled into a devilish smile.

In your arousal, you shoved your hips into his lap, grinding down into your excitement and seeking some from him. To your surprise, you could feel his hardening dick which only made you weaker. All the hundreds of little fantasies that you had held so secret started to dance in your mind; your darkest thoughts pleaded for him to destroy you, to ravage you, just as you had imagined.

Jeonghan’s lips tore from your own which he had worked until they were swollen. He mouthed down your jaw to your neck, sucking at the skin with no chance of mercy, he pulled and sucked until you could only pathetically beg for him to slow down for fear of him breaking the skin.

He stopped immediately to pull your shirt over your head and pick up his work there. The wet of his gorgeously plump lips on your skin was as perfect as you had imagined and it sent shivers echoing through all your limbs.

“Jeong-Jeonghan--”

This time you perfectly aware that it was indeed his name that would escaping off your tongue.

“You dumb slut, you thought I didn’t know that you wanted me?”

“You-you want me too?”

Jeonghan worked at the buttons on your pants.

“Wanting implies that I like you. What I want most is to make you my toy. There’s a difference.”

You mumbled out the words knowing exactly how he would take them. “I’m not a fucking toy.”

Jeonghan tsked and unbuttoned his own shirt. “You don’t get to decide that.”

You drew your fingers down his model-like toned chest, marveling in the pink lines. Jeonghan grunted in response, taking you by the underside of your thighs to throw you down on your back against the hard plastic. Once he had the chance, he ridded you of your bottoms, running his hands up your inner legs to send you reeling. For a couple seconds, you could have sworn that he had stopped to admire your body, but he wouldn’t let you tell too easily.

“That door isn’t locked.”

“What? Are you scared that someone could walk in? Scared to for someone to see you all splayed out like this?” He rose to kiss up your stomach and up to your nipples. He flicked them between his fingers. “To have someone see me making a wreck of you?”

“N-no.”

With saliva drying on your sensitive buds, they turned hard in seconds when they met the air. Jeonghan wasn’t hesitant to pull at them with his teeth slightly, making you whine for him even more.

“What should I do to you first?”

One of his hands trickled down your body to palm at your quivering sex, slick with your excitement for him and aching for the smallest of touches.

“You want it that bad? Stupid whore.”

Your hand ventured down to tease at his own dick over the fabric of his slacks.

“You want it that bad?”

“Get off.” He growled at you, then took you by the arms to jerk you off of the table and onto your knees at the floor. Under your knees, the burn of the carpet stung. His belt buckle jingled a little as he hooked a finger in to remove it. Afterword, he shook his pants off followed by his briefs, springing loose his twitching member with the tip pink. He combed his fingers through your hair while he tapped his dick against your lips.

“Fucking take it.”

You would have fought him on it, but you succumbed out of your pure curiosity over his girth.

At first, you coaxed him into your mouth, not going in too deep as you were fearful about his length. Regardless, you took him in as best as you could, hollowing out your cheeks and throat, sucking with your lips and grabbing at his legs.

Jeonghan hissed out a sigh, letting himself fall further into the warmth of your mouth. He pushed at your head slightly, bringing you in just deep enough to trigger your gag reflex.

“Mmm there you go.” He cooed.

You kept going as he liked it, gradually working up in pace while it got a bit harder and harder for you to catch your breath.

“That’s as deep as you can go? Can’t even take a dick into your throat?”

His grip on your head tightened.

Jeonghan whispered, “Squeeze my leg if you want me to stop.” before helping your head all the way down, causing you to gag even harder and for tears to well in your eyes. “That’s more like it.”

He continued guiding your head, and slobber started to form around your mouth You felt so weak and pliable around him, he was thankless aside from the tiny moans he would let escape past his lips for you.

Usable as you felt, it was still a deliciously addictive feeling.  

All at once, he tore out of your mouth to bring you back up to your feet. In seconds he had turned you around to bend over the plastic tabletop, elbows digging into the cool surface. By now, you were practically dripping for him with knees and legs weak from kneeling. He kicked your legs open farther, gifting your ass a piercing slap that stung, then another followed after.

“Hungry for my cock, hmm?”

He teased your entrance without warning, sending your body crumbling over the table into a mess of whimpers and curses clenched behind your teeth. His lithe fingers were your fantasy come to life.

“I-I can’t wait any longer...” You urged him on.

Jeonghan pushed your face into the table then slid his fingers above to curl around your neck. He encircled around the skin slowly, then dug in to close your airway. You choked out desperate little sounds, then he entered you carefully, making sure that you felt every part of him.

“Hmm. Pretty...” He allowed you. Even though it was just one word of praise, you reveled in it.

His pale fingers choked you harder for a few more seconds until he properly got his pace inside of you, letting go to hold you by your waist. Once again, he clapped his hand into your skin as he fucked into you. All you could manage to do with your hands was claw helplessly at the smooth tabletop seeking some kind of balance that was nowhere to be found. He grazed the deepest and most sensitive spot within you and you felt yourself nearly reaching your climax.

“I-is that all that you can do?” You turned his confidence back against him, spurring him on just as you had wanted. He snapped his hips even faster, groaning out as he neared his release.

“My pretty little fucktoy. You’re all mine? Got it?”

Jeonghan leaned over your back to pant the words into your ear.

“Fucking say it.”

“I-I’m...” Your focus was scrambled as your orgasm pooled within.

“I’m yours...your...pretty-mm-fucktoy.”

Jeonghan came inside of you with white heat, pulsating forcefully, with you following soon after while he milked himself with your walls. Even as you still came down, he rolled his hips into you over and over until your whole body was shaking helplessly.

“That’s right.” He pulled out, then pulled your legs apart to watch his cum fall out of your hole.

Jeonghan laughed to himself, “Thank you for giving me what I wanted.”

[hyeque]

RISU. I have been marinating in your tags all day. And let me just say I LOVE YOU SM?!? on both your tags for my akaashi and ushijima fics... there's a lot to unpack SO firstly,

WE ARE READER. i have only recently considered annotating with transparent post-it notes but honestly I like my books looking 'unread'. BUT ALSO YES. so, pretty much all of those books are books I have read!!

1Q84 - I've read MANY Murakami books but I always really liked this one!! There are definitely some uh, adult themes that people might not vibe with in Murakami books and I get that but overall I LOVE his worlds.

Night Circus - I'm actually halfway done with this book and I really, really like it so far!

Love in the time of Cholera - my ultimate favorite book, probably? I actually lended my copy to my bf when we had first started dating.

Before The Coffee Gets Cold - I have not read this yet but I want to!!

Memoirs of A Polar Bear - I picked and read this book and a whim and I liked that it was literally a generational book on this polar bear family. My bf and I are in a LDR and this was one of the first books I chose for our little book club. The other book he chose was Circe, WHICH I HAVEN'T READ YET BUT HAVE HEARD GREAT THINGS ABOUT.

ANYWAY, that honestly warms my heart so much that this is probably your favorite piece of my writing??! I wasn't feeling confident about writing for akaashi because I don't feel like I have a strong grasp on his character BUT it made my day to read that. :'))))

SECONDLY, so sorry for making you hungry whenever you read my fics!! i literally have another wip for komori and it's literally pasta night LOL so. but of course I had to throw in some tendou crumbs! i feel like my fics aren't complete without referencing another character lol. ooo, but honestly lemonade from scratch sounds SO SO GOOD. and takes me back to when I was a kid collecting lemons in our yard to make lemonade in the summer :'))

This got really long BUT, I just want you to know that I love you and I super appreciate your tags in a way that I don't think I could articulate well in words. I just get filled with warm fuzzies and stuff when i see your name pop up in my notifs <3 <3

LAURA MY BELOVED ‼️💗💗💗 i’m so sorry for not replying right away, my fatigue got the best of me and i literally passed out and went to sleep in the middle of cleaning.

but literally ilysm, and yanno i gotta tell you how much i adore u and your writing all the time LMAO but i totally feel you about akaashi’s characterization bc he’s quite complex sometimes imo. but the way you wrote him was so seamless and (perhaps he reminds you of your boyfriend in ways?) makes sm sense.

i never thought of giving transparent post it notes a go, so i’ll have to revisit that idea bc at least that can make things somewhat neater (? idk if that makes sense) and i also like placing color coded markers (for like quotes, or new words, characters introduced, etc).

i’m going to write these books down and check them out! i haven’t read solid books in a good minute (only manga lol) and if you say they’re good then i just know they’ll be amazing !! i think that it is absolutely adorable that you and your boyfriend have a little book club, that sounds like literally a scene out of a movie <3

omg pasta w komori sounds lovely !! i love pasta a lot and haven’t read for komori so i’m excited to see how you do your boy justice !! i think it’s always lovely to reference other characters and i do the same bc it just seems natural to hehe <3 but ty for the tendo crumbs !! making homemade lemonade is fun, i haven’t done it in awhile but it’s therapeutic to just make something, yanno ? :0

i appreciate leaving tags behind on ur work and that they make you happy !! you deserve the love bc you write the most beautiful things and the world deserves to know!! i’m gonna finish your ushi series tomorrow and can’t wait to read the rest of it ! ilysm laura dearest <3

[infisonicosm-moved]

hi hi! ໒꒰ྀིྀི ੭ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ꒱ྀི੭♡

……so, i just followed you (u follow me back on ur other acc!) & ive been recently writing fics / oneshots about sam (haven’t posted any yet, but i will once they’re finished) & i was just wondering what made you stop writing for the guys?

i keep hearing ‘bout how this particular fandom is ruthless ?? (i just rejoined tumblr so idk if it’s just a tumblr thing, sorry) but yeah.. any advice on the matter? ……it’s lowkey making me terrified to post my writing, but on the other hand, im so in love with the fics i’ve written recently and really wanna post them.

also..! im so sorry that this fandom has been so harsh & downright cruel to you & your writing. you don’t deserve none of it. you’re very loved & appreciated. i promise. the haters can absolutely fuck off.

love, noa. ♡ xoxo.

Hi Noa!<3 Sorry this took me literally all day to respond to, I wanted to be sat at my computer to reply to this.

I haven't really decided if I'm done writing for the boys. I'm in limbo about it tbh.

Tumblr is actually the tamer side of the fandom. We don't have many altercations and try to avoid those we don't like unless we can't. My advice? Don't be shy to block people or unfollow them. Your experience on here will be so much easier if you follow those who you truly enjoy content from.

As for posting your writing, I will always encourage others to go for it. Just because others have shitty experiences doesn't mean you will. I'm just personally fed up with the fanfic author thing being thrown in my face in any argument. I highly advise that you make sure it's tagged with the right warnings bc this fandom has some notorious keyboard warriors who will jump your shit so fast if you miss something. Also, cheesy romance that's only found in movies? Not acceptable in this fandom. Everything has to be biblically, factually, and historically accurate for these fools LMAO. Personally for me, none of that matters and I understand the meaning of FICTION. There's lots of people who understand that as well.

It just eats away at you after a while and after almost a year of writing in this fandom I'm just fed up, as are a lot of other writers in this community.

If you post your writing, I will happily read it. I'm not picky and I love reblogging other content creators to share their work. I hope my experience doesn't scare others away but is seen more as a warning to what you can possibly deal with as a writer in the GVF fandom.

Thank you for such a kind message btw<3 I never know what I'm gonna get most days in my inbox and something positive is always refreshing!