#idk i felt weird trying to write a self-insert character with no backstory

[indiavolowetrust]

unexpected presents are best unwrapped.

part 1

2

Beel noisily pops open a bag of hellfire vinegar chips, tossing the contents haphazardly in his mouth as we begin the walk back to class. Mammon’s hellfire vinegar chips. Mammon does his best to stop him from spilling everywhere, chiding him in the process, but Beel seems more content with eating as much as he can before we can step back into one of RAD’s many buildings. I do my best not to smile too much at the sight. Much to Mammon’s annoyance, Beel only shifts himself out of the way each time the shorter demon makes a grab for the bag, forcing Mammon to regain his balance. Another attempt, and Beel holds it far above his head. Yet another attempt, and then Beel simply holds Mammon’s head an arm’s length away from him, munching away. A frustrated grimace grows on Mammon’s face. As docile as the gluttonous demon usually is -- prone to toddling around like a large, lazy dog -- it is clear that he is enjoying himself. The corner of his mouth upturns just slightly at Mammon’s frustration, subduing yet another attempt to take back the bag.

At times like this, it’s all too easy to forget about the human world. I stifle a laugh as Beel shoves the rest of the chips into his mouth, a look of despair overtaking Mammon’s features. 

“Oi, one of the witches gave me that today!” Mammon protests, shaking the now-empty bag of chips. “I was gonna save that for later!”

Beel smiles in satisfaction, wiping off the last of the crumbs from his cheek.  “You said I could have it.”

“I said you could have some, not all of it!” 

I shift the books under my arm, biting down yet another laugh. Or sigh, possibly. Still, it is a welcome distraction. Mammon’s frustration warps his features, much like --

Much like Levi’s.

I want to stop myself. I should, honestly. But my thoughts wrench myself back to the memory of last night, forcing me away from the present. Drowning and  out the noise of Mammon’s yells and Beel’s footsteps. Dulling the space around me, as if the bustle of the crowd were no more than a distant image. My fingers grip the hardcover of my textbook as I force myself to walk, each step becoming more difficult than the last. And then there is the fear.

Because I -- I was afraid last night, wasn’t I? I was afraid. For the first time, the sight of the Avatar of Envy had spurred a sense of primal panic in me, as if my body refused to recognize him. For the first time, Levi -- gentle, awkward, dorky Levi -- had seemed to be nothing more than a frightening monster. Golden eyes darkened just enough to be dangerous, his usual frown warped into something I couldn’t recognize. Or perhaps something I had simply refused to recognize. There was something off. Then he had reached for me, the shadows playing strange tricks across his features, and I had -- 

Mammon crashes into me, his efforts wholly thwarted by an unseen indent in the pathway. I let out a groan of effort as I do my best to stop both of us from slamming into the street, wrapping my arms around Mammon in the process, and Beel manages to catch Mammon’s arm just in time. I stagger slightly, school shoes sliding, but I eventually find purchase in the stones beneath my feet. Mammon releases a hiss of pain when we both finally manage to regain our balance, Mammon still wrinkling the front of my uniform. Beel, ever the practical one, keeps a tighter hold on the empty bag of chips than Mammon’s arm. I realize after a moment that Mammon has his head pressing painfully at my breast; Mammon’s cheeks flush into a deep scarlet, his realization hitting him milliseconds after mine. Before we can react to the awkwardness of the position, Beel turns and offers a nonchalant wave to what must be a person in front of us, his attention preoccupied once more.

“You’re late, Levi,” Beel says. “Did you sleep in?”

I slap myself back to reality, tearing myself from my thoughts. Mammon takes the opportunity to shove himself away from me, his face hot with embarrassment. Beel lets go of Mammon’s hand. I simply stare forward, my words caught in my throat.

“The TSL series just released a new game,” he explains, his gaze hovering over me for a moment. Studying me. There are the unmistakable signs of sleep deprivation -- shadows under his eyes, messy hair, and that vague sense of irritability -- but there is an odd tone to his words, as if he doesn't quite believe them. As if he doesn’t expect me to believe them, either. His eyes rest on me for only a moment before a fluttered, more typical expression returns to his visage. “I did most of my lectures and assignments online today, but I left something at the school.”

“Like what?” Mammon asks, still entangled with me.

Stop being ridiculous, I tell myself. You’re acting like he’s about to eat you.

I swallow my trepidation. “Yeah, we can --”

“It’s okay,” Levi cuts me off, turning in the other direction. “I can pick it up myself.”

I watch the back of his uniform as Levi disappears into the crowd, his dark locks blending in with the darkness of the Devildom. Mammon manages to untangle himself from me in the process as I stare in Levi’s direction, rubbing his forehead. Beel tosses the empty chip bag in a nearby trash can.

I blink. “Did I do something to make him angry?”

“Nah, he probably just lost or something,” Mammon says, beginning to walk in the direction of class again. Beel nods. “Betcha he’s just in one of his moods again.”

I pick my feet up, trying to catch up with their long strides. “Yeah, but he looked pretty upset. Shouldn’t we go after him?”

“You worry too much,” Beel says, reaching out to usher me into the building. His hand gently pushes me at the small of my back, and he uses his body as a shield to prevent my smaller one from getting swept up in the crowd.

The bell rings.

* * *

I stare at my phone screen, attempting to will Levi to respond to my text. It doesn’t work. Instead, I only end up straining my eyes, the covers over my head further cutting off any external light, and my head begins to ache with the contract of the bright phone screen and the darkness of the room. I rub my socked feet together anxiously, attempting to conjure both warmth and comfort. Like my attempt with my phone, that doesn’t work either.

The anime and game-obsessed Levi I know would never turn down a chance to add a player to his dungeon raid.

I finally place my phone to the side of my pillow, sighing. So he is upset. But for what? I hadn’t even come close to beating him in our last match of Devil Kombat II: Return of the Devil Who Came From Another World and Now Must Fight for His Honor, nor had I complained about allowing him to use me as a cosplay dummy. I had run away from him last night, but -- but it  couldn’t be that, could it? I was startled, that was all. Tired from a long day of being dragged around by Mammon. And despite the hospitality of the demon brothers, I am still only a powerless, weak human in a sea of soul-hungry demons. Levi could understand that, couldn’t he?

I glance at the clock in my room. Ten minutes past midnight.

If I keep this up, I’ll be no better than Levi, I think, curling into myself for warmth. I should sleep. I need sleep. No use staying up all night worrying over nothing.

I toss and turn exactly twenty-two times over the course of the night, drifting in and out of sleep. My thoughts conjure fleeting images before my eyes, some more pleasant than others. Mama taking my cousins and I to Mass, each of us dressed in our finest clothes. Green, rolling hills bathed in sunlight, my favorite tia beckoning me to come to her. And the fresh, familiar scent of the ocean -- waves crashing onto my skin, warmth emanating from its embrace, and a strange, scaly sensation tracing my cheek. Then I am staring at the image of Levi’s demonic form, coral horns and serpentine tail bursting from his shadow, and a clawed hand clamps itself forcefully over my mouth before I have time to scream.

part 3

[prettyboyspenceee]

Southern Belle

Request: “Okay okay okay, oddly specific (and hopefully not too specific to be an insert) but Reid with someone who has a southern accent?? Since southern accents are stereotyped as not belonging to intelligent people but Reid is...ya know.. Reid. Maybe it’s thicker when they’re tired/ drunk and the relationship is already established??? Something cute and fluffy af???Idk totally feel free to disregard this if it makes zero sense, it’s way past my bed time idk what my brain is doing” - @pointy-sharp

A/N: I mulled over this fic in my head and it was a little hard to choose just ONE idea but I think I settled on a good one! I hope you enjoy! Hmmmm…. If this flops, one of the weird bird paintings in Gideon's cabin wrote this. Keep liking, reblogging and sending in requests! 

Description: The Reader met Spencer at the same time as Will met JJ. When both Will and the Reader transfer to the Metro PD, the Reader is insecure because of their accent and when it comes out when they’re drunk everyone loves it. 

Character Appearances: Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner (mentioned), David Rossi (mentioned), Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Emily Prentiss, William LaMontagne Jr.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Criminal Minds. If I did, I wouldn’t be writing fanfics, I would be writing happy endings. 

Warnings: Kinda angsty at the beginning, but it’s apart of the backstory. 

Female Reader! X Spencer Reid 

(Y/N) - Your Name 

(Y/L/N) - Your Last Name

Word Count: 1,090

Posted: October 1st, 2019

---

From the moment you and Will spoke, you two had the BAU’s two youngest agents smitten. Granted, JJ was more attracted to Will, but Spencer, Spencer was in awe of you. When JJ and Will were figuring out the case at the bar, you and Spencer were picking each other's brains. For the few days that the team was in New Orleans, you and Spencer knew that there was something between you two.

Every other weekend you or Spencer would try to visit each other, the team only suspected Will and JJ, but no one ever expected that Spencer was in a relationship. 

When the team met with Will and (Y/N) in Miami they were surprised that two relationships were revealed. 

When you and Will were heading back to New Orleans you both were hurt, Spencer nor JJ wanted the team to know about you guys. You and Spencer argued about it the night before and you couldn’t help the feeling that the best relationship you had ever had was over.

“(Y/N)! Wait!” You turned around to the sound of your name being called. JJ made her way to Will as Spencer ran to you. 

The team watched intently, confused as to why Reid and JJ were both going after the two detectives.

“What, Spence? What do you have to say now?” You sounded tired. It took almost everything Spencer had to not smile, he loved the sound of your accent, especially when you were tired.

“(Y/N), I don’t care about them knowing. I don’t care about relocating. The one thing I care about is you. When they know, that means everyone knows. I was kidnapped just last year. If anything bad happened to you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Saying this, this makes it real. When it’s real, it hurts.” He took a deep breath, “But I realized losing you would hurt more. I can’t let you go (Y/N).” 

You didn’t even realize that you were crying until you felt tears fall down your cheeks, “I don’t want to let you go either, Spence.” You chuckled as he pulled you in for a searing kiss. 

You and Spencer were pulled out of your trance by a “Wait… What?” from Derek and a, “Are you kidding me?” from Emily. You both laughed as you watched the facial expressions of the team change from smugness to confusion. 

--- 

You had transferred to the Metro PD with Will shorty after the case in Miami, “Boy, if you hurt my sister, I’ll kill you.” You slapped Will on the shoulder as you, Will and the team were hanging out at O’keefe’s, “Uh… likewise, Will.” Spencer said, referring to JJ. After that, you and the team dissolved in a fit of late-night giggles. 

---

After working in D.C for a few years your accent began to fade away. Spencer could tell that you were in some ways forcing it to fade, he knew you were self-conscious of your accent due to the stereotypes that came with it. 

“Spence! It’s like they think I’m less intelligent than they are because of my accent! I have an IQ of 165! I’m smarter than all of them combined!” You groaned and buried your head into his chest. You had just come home and you two were cuddling on the couch when the topic of work came up. Spencer hated it when you came home angry like this. You were one of the smartest people he has ever met.

“Love,” He immediately felt you relax in his arms, “I love you. I love ALL of you. They’re morons if they can’t see past your accent.” 

“Thanks, Spence.” 

---

It was Saturday night, you, Will and the BAU team were miraculously off from work at the same time. Hotch was with Jack and Rossi was with Joy so it was just you, JJ, Will, Spencer, Derek, Penelope, and Emily. You had a hard week and needless to say, you needed alcohol, your friends and your boyfriend. 

“Woah, slow down there Little Mama,” you were on your 6th shot of tequila and you showed no signs of slowing down, “I’m not sure if Reid can handle you like this.” Derek laughed. 

“Y’all’ you said pointing to the entire team, “have no idea what Spence can handle.” You smirked, “You should see him in bed!” You slurred, your accent was more prominent than ever.

“(Y/N)!” Spencer shrieked. 

“Do tell, my Southern Belle” Garcia sauntered over to you. 

“Well, one time after he came back from a case he was LIVID. He said y’all were teasing him about being ‘vanilla’ in bed. Well, honey, he was not vanilla in the least! He picked me up and-” 

You were cut off by Spencer gently pulling you away from Garcia, “And we’re done here! We’ll see you guys later!” 

The team let out a collective groan, “C’mon, 187! I wanted to hear the rest of the story!” Emily whined. 

“You and me both,” JJ said in agreement. 

“Girls night ladies!” You yelled as Spencer pulled you out of the bar. You heard the girls giggle in excitement as the bar door closed. 

--- 

When you two got home you flopped down on the couch, “Babeeeee, can you get my pajamas,” You called out to Spencer. 

You heard a distant chuckle and he came out of the bedroom with his battered and worn Cal-Tech t-shirt and a pair of your sleep shorts, “One step ahead of you.” 

You grabbed the t-shirt and shorts and got changed right in the middle of the living room, “Here, Advil and some water.” 

You grabbed the pills and the water from Spencer, “Thank you” you smiled. 

When you finished getting changed you joined Spencer on the couch, “You didn’t hide your accent tonight.” He mumbled. 

You sighed, your head pounding. You had sobered up a little while ago and all the drinks you had were coming back to bite you in the ass, “Yeah. I decided that you were right.” 

“Right about what?” Spencer smirked, this was his plan all along… minus the gossip about your sex lives. 

You rolled your eyes, “People are morons if they can’t see past my accent. If you love all of me, I should be able to love all of me.” 

“You’re right about that.” Spencer wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on your head. You smiled and kissed him on his cheek.

“I love you, Spence” 

“I love you too, (Y/N). Accent and all.” 

---