#idk i can make him an anime boy priest and still have hair but idk

[thecrowsart]

[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

[swearronchanel]

9.01

Ok it took forever to find a working link here we go

1965..

- Omg the ceiling falling on her during labor gtfo

- “Where do we begin? What marks the start of any new adventure?” Tell me, Mature Jenny

- I’m so emo ugh a year ago today (well tomorrow) I moved to London for the semester 😭 I miss it so much..

- THE BEACH BOYS😍 hell yea the tunes

- I WISH THEY ALL COULD BE CALIFORNIA GIRLLLLLSSSS

- Love Trixie’s robe, I need one

- Here’s her damn electric shaver 😂

- RIP Churchill, except not really bc you know racist, eugenist, etc😂

- You tell em Patrick! He sucks

- The turners now have a cohort of children and now rabbits lmaoo

- Tim’s been sent to boarding school, see ya never bro

- ANGELA SPOKE ?! HOLD THE FREAKING PHONE ITS ONLY BEEN HER WHOLE SILENT LIFE ON THE SHOW SJSJSJS IM SHOOK

- WAR HORSE

- skip that funeral Phyllis

- Terry wants to look after his mom how pure

- I want his camera ugh, wait till I get a vintage film camera

- Ok not to ruin the mood but Nonnatus was demolished once before, this is repetitive (I know the 60s brought demolitions but still lol)

- 7 months in squalor 😭 so sad ugh

- Phyllis to the rescue with some polite fighting words

- The cucumbers on the eyes 😂😂 I love them

- Here comes the tights competition lmaoo

- GORGEOUS GAMS, my new blog name

- Cyril gazes at them? 😂😂 who is looking at ankles? I’m weak

- I love her modesty it’s sweet lol, and I love Trixie who is modest in other ways😂

- Phyllis and sister hilda dancing and holding hands is pure AF

- I really like her, I want sister hilda’s backstory! but sister Francis tho - eh lmao I’m not sold yet

- Fred and his first wife’s picture omg let me rip my heart out, I’m glad he’s got violet now 😭

- But the little moment is realistic, we should see Patrick mention Marianne

- sorry Churchill I’m not mourning

- Trixie’s houndstooth coat is a look

- “Your values which I respect” I love her 😂

- Lucille doing the cross, felt

- Terry and his mom in the flat !! my heart

- Love my nurses showing off their legs even if this is a filler storyline *cough Trixie deserves better 1965*

- I love that Phyllis took the photos, we love a supportive mother figure

- The baby in the trash can I can’t 😭😭 it’s not just a thing of past and it’s heartbreaking

- I love Fred ok, he’s just a pure older white man. There are few

- I forgot Sgt Wolfe existed oops

- Like primrose hill ugh my heart I miss London

- Mother Mildred back on her bullshit and I love it

- She’s annoying in the best way 😂

- Sister Mj 😭 if she passes this series IM OUT THIS B! I can not handle *insert Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development saying I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it*

- Is this Valerie’s bitch ass cousin LMAO ??

- Val pls go see your grandma, I cant stress this enough pls all of you go visit your grandmas if possible, life is too damn short and I know it too well

- Terry is the cutest child omg love him

- “Will he look like me?” Just rip my heart out would you ??

- So is this lady the mother?

- I’m calling it

- HOW DO YOU SPELL LACTATING LMFOAOAOAOA

- sgt Wolfe out here on his law and order detective shit

- What’s up with Terry?  he better not die or I’m fighting

- If something happens to this poor kid I’m going to be personally offended

- “It’s not convenient right now” me at anything, everyday of my life

- Lucille is so cute even when she’s trying not to panic

- Phyllis to the rescue, again

- I love babies but this show just makes me not ever want children LMAO

- If I have to get up on my knees to push out a baby, just slice me open

- Idk why but i wish they would’ve wrote Phyllis telling someone she gave a baby away that she obviously had out of wedlock. Don’t ask why I just feel like it could’ve worked?

- Omg the diphtheria in his mouth🤢vaccinate your damn kids !!!!

- “Everything is supposed to be moving forward” FELT THIS SHELAGH! the world seems to take 2 steps forward and 15 back..

- also loving her new hair tho

- “I haven’t got all day” mood af, Stan Phyllis Crane

- “We’ll be whichever of those you need most” Mother Mildred knows what to say

- I’m glad Trixie is there tho

- Miss Higgins is lowkey underrated, she’s only been a gem lately

- “There’s nothing worse than feeling unfresh” true af Trix, I would’ve never survived without indoor plumbing or soap or anything

- Shawty delivered her own baby?!! She’s BRAVE brave

- DID THE PRIEST KNOCK HER Up?? IM CALLING GOD

- “MOTHER Mildred” put some respect on her name

- I smell shadiness in this church

- SOMEONE HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT MEAN A PERSON IS BROKEN !!

- Mother Mildred PLS throw some hands for the sake of the Lord almighty

- “Smells of his chemistry set And clearisil” ahh yes what all the cool kids smell like these days you know 😂😂 rip Tim, not gone just moved away till who knows when

- ANIMATED GIBLETS LMAOAOA NOW THTS MY NEW BLOG NAME

- I love shelagh when she says random ass shit 😂 reminds me of her sister Bernadette days

- But Where’s sister Julienne in all this??

- “And I would feel more at ease if i remained” TELL EM MILDRED

- Not too sound so gen y or whatever us late 90s babies are but this priest is only giving me ~bad vibes~

- The Reggie pic😭 I love it

- Fred adding the newspaper clip to his memory box I can’t take it

- Violet my blue eyeshadow queen, I love it (I’m wearing it again in 2020, it was a look that one time)

- “Family meant no space” 😭 I just want terry to get better and reunite with his momma and new sibling

- Omg Brenda 😭 where is your ex? I will wring his neck out

- Trixie😭😭 the childhood traumas tonight whew,..

- It makes me so sad ugh

- Sister Hilda has a velvety accent if that makes sense lmaoo

- “Do you know who the father is? FATHER” MOTHER MILDRED DRAG HIM! YOU KNOW IT AS I DO

- Omg this little girls arm! help her

- Trixie’s two piece little set is so mid 60s and cute

- “I was running away from something that was hard and it was too easy” felt that Val

- But I’m so glad she’s gonna go see her gran

- TERRY IS OK GOD BLESS 😭

- “Pass the tea cakes to this end” LMAO I guess I am Mother Mildred

- Sister Julienne is like probably like thank God Mildred is finally leaving 😂

- They won runner up! 😂😂

- FISHNETS LMAO I love it

- Aww sister Frances made a blanket, pure

- SLAP HIM WITH THE CANE MILDRED

- it’s her pimp cane😂 I love it when you call me big mommaaaa

- I KNEW HE WAS THE FATHER!!! I AM PERSONALLY CALLING THE LORD TO SMITE HIM

- Violet framed Betty’s photo wow bye let me ducking cry my eyes out

- I love the buckles <3

- So what’s the next move with the demolition??

- “The past is never lost to us, we carry it with us...”

- THEY GAVE TERRY TIM’S BLAZER WOW MY HEART !!!!!

- “...the way we embrace it has the power to change everything” 😭😭

- Aww the Turner babies and rabbit babies

- Ok that was a good episode 😭

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

What I assume Yugioh is about based on having seen like less than 20 episodes of it

Because I used to do this every time I started reading a new Jojo part, just to see how much I got right and how much I got wrong. I don’t think anything will ever top “Rohan Kishibe is a high schooler who draws Chris Hart-esque anime art and thinks he’s a pro mangaka and his stand, Killer Queens, is made of bees, but maybe this will at least be slightly amusing. (Also I know it’s kinda late for this but listen, they still haven’t even gotten to Yami’s backstory, I still have genuinely no fucking clue what the actual overall plot of Yugioh is)

Anyway so here are the characters

Yuugi Mutotutotototuto

No for real tho is it Moto or Mutou someone explain this to me please

Looks like he’s 10 but is actually 15 and very short, which is relatable

Sunshine goth

MY SON NOW.

So fucking nice and good and loves his friends

I think uh... I think he’s like mixed race and that’s why his hair is like that? Not that that makes literally any sense whatsoever but I feel like I remember someone saying something like that

I think he’s like the reincarnation of an ancient pharaoh, or maybe just his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-whatever-grandson

Was able to solve the Millennium Puzzle because of this and also probably because he’s good at games idk

The pure-hearted chosen one who can win every battle even if he’s at a disadvantage because he Believes in the Heart of the Cards. Still don’t know what the fuck that even means but I support him so much

Just a perfect boy

I’m willing to bet a large portion of the fandom thinks he’s a boring protagonist. I say this entirely based on the fact that he is a genuinely nice and optimistic person and god knows fandoms can’t handle characters who aren’t assholes

If you talk shit about Yugi I will show up at your house and eat all of your Yugioh cards. This is non-negotiable

Yami Yugi

The ghost of a pharaoh who was just Really Good At Games and maybe some sort of god or something idk. But I guess maybe he has amnesia?

His real name is Atem but nobody calls him that

Also my son now I love him so much I would die for him thanks

Anyway he lives in the Millennium Puzzle and occasionally possesses Yugi’s body and SOMEHOW this completely changes Yugi’s eye shape, makes his hair even MORE complicated and also makes him taller.

A fucking sadistic bitch

But like a good one though. Like I think he’s a good guy, he just needs to learn to Chill The Fuck Out For Once In His Goddamn Life. It’s ok though Yugi will teach him about the power of friendship and then it’ll be fine

Apparently kills people in the manga, which I guess would make him my legally allotted one (1) irredeemable murderboy I’m allowed to stan

Died tragically and violently after he... uh... he uh... he got framed for cheating at go? Anyway so that’s why his ghost lives in the Millennium Puzzle because I guess maybe he wants revenge or something??

In the most bizarre anti-bullying aesop I have EVER seen, whenever someone wrongs Yuugi or his friends Yami will show up and completely fucking eviscerate them

Just loves games so much, doesn’t matter what game it is or who he’s playing with or why, he will play any game anywhere anytime and will probably send someone into a coma in the process

In conclusion I’d die for him thanks for coming to my TED talk

Seto Kaiba

The antagonist, I guess

Had green hair but then they took it away. Why did they do that

Very mean, I do not like him. I guess he probably has a tragic backstory and Is Actually A Nice Guy Deep Down™ but I still don’t like him

Like a bazillionaire because he owns Kaibacorp. I have no idea what they do. Maybe they manufacture duel disks? Which are like these things you wear on your arm so you can put cards on it. Like a little table for your arm. I don’t know why this is necessary or special but everyone has one

Obsessed with Yami because he is So Good At Games that Kaiba thinks he’s his true rival or some shit idek

Technically could be compared to Akira Touya but I don’t want to because Akira is a very nice and good boy and Kaiba is at best an Ochi

Joey Jounouchi

Yugi’s bff and for some reason the only one of the Crewgi I ever hear anything about so I’m just going to assume this means he is plot relevant somehow

He is the delinquent who picks up stray kittens in the rain

Looks like an asshole but actually a decent dude

Has the exact same fucking backstory as Dio Brando, but like, isn’t an absolute garbage boy, unlike Dio

Was in a gang when he was a kid, a gang with yo-yos. Except in the manga it wasn’t yo-yos, I forgot what it was. Knives? Or maybe hockey sticks? Maybe hockey sticks with knives taped to them??

Trying his best

Chadhotep

That isn’t his real name. I forgot what his real name is. I tried really hard to remember it but I couldn’t so now his name is Chadhotep

An Egyptian priest, not sure if he’s somebody’s reincarnation or immortal or a time traveler or just a regular guy who has Been Doing This For Generations

Has the Millennium Key, which presumably goes to the Millennium Lock and grants the user the power of fucking Shugo Chara whatever

Not really sure who’s side he’s on tbh

I feel like... he’s what Avdol could have been if Araki had gone more for the “badass pyromancer Egyptian fortune teller” thing like he had in chapter 1 instead of him being a constantly distressed mom friend. Not that this is a criticism of Avdol!! I love Avdol so much, he’s perfect, however I feel like Chadhotep could be like... an alternate Avdol I guess

I think he’s like Knuckles but instead of guarding the Master Emerald he guards the Millennium Items?

Haven’t actually seen him in like 10 episodes since Yami like... fuckin... imprisoned him in his mind palace for all eternity or some shit, is he ok?

Mokona Modoki

Kaiba’s little brother?????????

How

I guess he has like an Emporio Alniño thing going on?

Why is he here. He’s a child. Tell him to go home

I bet he’s supposed to be like 5 and speaks like a 15 year old because nobody knows how to write kids. That or he only looks like he’s 5 and is actually like 14

I don’t know anything about him but Kaiba is a bad role model

Thief King Bakura

I don’t actually know much about this guy because he hasn’t showed up yet but I think he’s the other antagonist?

Presumably the ghost of Yami’s ancient political rival, lives in the... what even is that. The fucking like. The Millennium Tambourine I guess

You know in Death Note when it’s revealed that there’s a whole orphanage full of L clones training to become the next Batman or whatever? He looks like he escaped from there

Presumably wants to steal all the Millennium Items so he can summon Shenron or vore god or some shit. I don’t actually know what all the others are but I’m going to assume there are 7 in total because that’s how magic item sets in anime work

Ok I know I made a Knuckles joke already but this dude legit looks more like a Sonic character than absolutely anyone else so far

And that’s everything I know about Yugioh, thanks. In case it isn’t obvious I took benadryl today and I haven’t been more than 60% awake since then

[nottooldforthisship]

Hello! Could you please rec me some fics with grinding involved? 😏 between H and L or also one of them rubbing himself on something else, idk, the sheet or anything really? Any kind of fic where the boys come from just grinding/rubbing :)

Ooooh nice request !! ( but not easy !)

- You and The Moon and Neptune (Got it Right): Louis has always wanted to meet his soulmate; he’s built his life around the plan that one day his soulmate would come along, and they could begin their happily ever after.Harry has always wanted to travel; he’s built his life around the idea that nothing is permanent, and seeing the world is his only objective - soulmates mean nothing to him after all. (34k)

- Taste of a Poison Paradise: Louis notices Harry’s mouth right away. (10k)

- A Little Love (is better than none)   : It’s supposed to be no strings attached sex, but Harry’s in love with beauty and tragedy and Louis Tomlinson so there might actually a few strings they’re not talking about.  Or, alternately, the four times they fuck and don’t kiss, and one time they fuck and do..(15k)

- be with you day and night:  “Maybe not,” Ed pipes up. “This sounds weird but I have a friend who might be able to help you.”  “Is it a priest? I think an exorcism is the only option here, mate.”  “Right, so like, remember my kitten Graham?” At everyone’s nods, he continues, “Well when I got him he was a bit of a prick. He was just scared, but he wasn’t very pleasant to be around. So my friend Harry comes around one day to hang out and he just, like, bonds with him. After an hour he had him snuggling in his lap. He’s going to school to be a vet I think, and he volunteers in an animal shelter so he’s got lots of experience I guess. But anyway, he developed a bit of a reputation after that and now everyone calls him the Cat Whisperer.”  “You have a friend everyone calls the Cat Whisperer,” Louis says, “And you’ve neglected to tell me this until now.”[louis inherits a demon cat. harry is a cat whisperer.] (10k)

- This is the Worst:  Louis is a virginal nerd with a crush on the worst person to crush on. Not only is Harry the residential school’s bad boy who sleeps around to the point he has to call them Babe because he can’t remember their names but he’s also Louis’ step-brother. Louis is well and truly fucked and not in the good way. Ain’t life grand. (6k)

- ‘cause you get lighter the more it gets dark :  Louis picks up Doris and tries not to focus on how much he’d love to be with Harry in ten years time, doing exactly this.  It’s difficult, but he’s been fighting it since he was ten years old and realised he was head over heels for the boy. It has, gradually, become part of his daily routine.  1)  Pour the cereal and try not to burn the toast  2) Try not to blurt out his never-ending love for Harry Stylesor, alternatively, Louis and Harry go camping with Doris and Ernest, and have a lot of feelings. (8k)

- Come Along With Me: “A little magic can take you a long way.” — Roald Dahl or An AU where Harry is a magician and Louis doesn’t believe in such a thing.(28k)

- Relax, Don’t Do It  : Louis’s massage takes an unexpected turn. You can guess where. (3k)

- Like a Bullet in the Dark: Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway. With a promise from the press (and his father) that they’ll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson. Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- ‘cause Harry has a secret that he’s only told his sister Gemma about. Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own. A Will & Kate Au- with a twist. (100k)

- Untouched: the one where Louis wants to watch Harry come in his pants, without touching his cock at all. (4k)

- A Summer of Us  : Louis couldn’t help that he was basically a bundle of nerves all the time. He had too many thoughts and too many worries, but too few friends to share them with. So when Louis’ mom told him he could invite a friend to the beach house his family was renting for the summer, he couldn’t help but panic. But this year was different. This year he knew exactly who he wanted to invite, if he could just get up the nerve to ask the pretty curly haired boy who had been so nice to him for the past four months. Little does Louis know, he’s in for one of the best and most transformative summers of his life. (47k)

- Faking It  : A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice. (46k)

- Happy is the Heart that Still Feels Pain: The last thing Harry needed was the hot RA helping him to make bad choices. Actually, that wasn’t true. The last thing Harry needed was to fall utterly, painfully, stupidly in love with him. (17k)

[dmndsave]

why do I feel like the Dawn Valley churches are equally staffed by people who have lived there all their lives and know what kind of bullshit happens and people who have NO idea and got suckered into taking the position and now they can't leave

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:17

A town the size of Dawn Valley can only support a few small churches, which are most likely lead by ‘pastors who know’At least one of the Baptist’s who lead out of an old converted grocery store, swears up and down against demons but no one really minds himHe’s a good preacher though and is good with the youth, so his church is popular

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:18

https://undertaker-gifs.tumblr.com/post/188198876049

oh cute...

Tumblr

Undertaker gifs

Undertaker gifs

yeah there are a couple small ones

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:19

There’s of course the old Methodist which has been here since everyone’s great-great grandma

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:19

there is at least one legit catholic exorcist living in town and you can't change my mind

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:19

there's one that's not too too far from the edge of town where the home is run by pastor reidand ironically his youngest daughter Sandy was friends with the spooks when they were little

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:19

You know all the pastors and priests would regularly deal with the Undertaker because of the funerals

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:20

YUP

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:20

And it’s a small town so probably with an aging populationBut everyone is kinda cool with the weird stuffIt’s background noise at this pointAt least one of the old ladies still pinches Taker’s cheeks if she sees him

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:21

there's actuallya couple generations backmaybeeeee 150-ish yearsone of the New Pastors decided to kick out the spooky family because they didn't like "witches" in their town(not witches, dear, but nobody listened)and the spooks at the time just went"alright. children, we're going to your aunt rabekkah"town lasted a weekthen it was "please come back there are coyotes in the school" "i'm not sure how we can help" "THEY'RE SPEAKING LATIN" "oh, alright, but only if you ask nicely"

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:23

one day a new priest from outside the area is gonna get suckered into taking over and the previous guy is going to have some STORIES for them

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:23

"HELL IS REAL""i know""NO LISTEN--"

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:25

No, no, priest is Catholic, this guy doesn’t care if they’re demonic so long as they participate in holy communion and confess ever Sunday—The minister can be a real nut job though and was very upset when Kane explained hell in detail to him

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:25

"The new guy quit again. He didn't even meet the Undertaker. Where are you GETTING these guys?"

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:26

the last time anyone asked the brothers when their last communion was they both jsut started laughingtaker managed a "you're new here" and kane struggled out a "welcome to the valley" and then they just left

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:27

Kane and Taker area little odd but most of the valley doesn’t mind ‘em

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:27

they usually keep to themselves

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:28

Also idk Texas’ hunting season but it must be Big Important

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:28

and when there are things the sheriff can't or won't deal withpeople go to them

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:29

And honestly since it’s such a small town, 90% of problems are resolved before the police are even calledEveryone knows everyone and that includes for grandma—

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:29

you cannot send young priests to death valley, they see one hairless cat that speaks in tongues and suddenly they're abandoning their vows to live in isolation somewhere in norway like that'd help anything

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:30

Oh right it’s close to the border isn’t it?

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:30

the entire town's just at a gateway to hell, Weird Things Happen There

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:30

Yeah the one Catholic Church in the area is supported by the local Hispanic population and they can take anything

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:30

most if not all of the really dangerous stuff is kept inside the yardbut weird shit's the norm

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:30

One of the demons is going to get hit with a sandal

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:31

all the catholic priests are either old guys who used to be exorcists in rome, local tex-mex lads with brujah aunties or kids who grew up close to the yard in general and have Seen Some Shit and aren't afraid of anything

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:31

"Abuelita, the statue out front is singing again!" "Tell it to shut up, my soap opera is on!" "Senior Statue, Abuelita says to be quiet. She got new shoes." (statue stops)

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:32

Yeah that’s itYou got itIt’s the Calvinists that you gotta worry about, every time there’s a new minister he can get uppity but usually he gets over it pretty quick

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:33

the fuckin' dudes from rome add an interesting flaire to the local culture and accenttaker's only demand is they keep their dove(s) away from his ravens

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:33

At least one of the priests is Taker’s drinking buddy and will come out to the yard for a beer or two

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:34

taker actually likes hanging out at one of the only local biker-aesthetic bars if he's looking for a drinking partnerit's called the Rattler and it's owned by his dad's best friendincidentally, the only local who went to baby adam's funeral aside from paul

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:34

one of the old romans has a dog that can recite the lord's prayer in the voice of a child if you give it a milk bone but he generally encourages people NOT to do that

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:35

Jesus said ‘drink wine’ and the Catholics said ‘if you insist’ and never looked back

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:35

the weirdest thing is he can't remember if it always did thator if it's a new thing since coming to the valleyOH and then there are the druids

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:38

the local stray cats can reliably tell you the time of day but they will be able to prowl around in your dreams for a week after

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:39

I wanna dream about kiddies :VMaybe they can help Xion sleep :/Also what is with all the talking animalsAlso I wanna submit that the town Librarian has seen it All and cannot be fazed at this pointIf you ask her for dark magic books she’ll point you to the back right corner

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:40

animals make convenient hosts for entities because they don't have higher thought and can be overwhelmed easily

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:40

It works great until the cat you possessed gets distracted by a laser pointer

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:41

cats are an exception because they can see and touch all planes and do harm to spirits

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:41

that's one of the reasons kane chose therapy catMAN NOW I WANNA WRITE UP A LIST OF WEIRD SHIT IN THE YARD AND TOWN BUT I HAVE DRAFTS

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:42

some dogs are bred from guardian stock and can perform similar actions but its hard to find one cause of diluted bloodlines

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:43

i also need you all to know that when taker came back to life fully after the ministryred hair and more relaxed and vocal than normalit took weeks for the locals to realize it was the same guy

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 15:43

HA

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 15:43

And also for some reason he doesn’t sound like he gargles rocks

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 15:43

another week for them to debate about whether or not he as possessedand a day to decide "eh"

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:33

if you see this dog, DO NOT ask it to speak

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 17:35

OH A GOOD BOY

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:35

THE BEST BOY

Gina (´-ω-`)Last Saturday at 17:35

jay and i would not survivebut we would pet the dogso who wins?

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:36

i've been dead inside for years it's no dif

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:36

pet dog: finebut be careful what tricks you try and get it to do

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:38

whats his name

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:39

probably something like "angelico"

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:39

toddbot how gucci is angelico

ToddBotBOTLast Saturday at 17:39

Angelico is 26% gucci.

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:40

fuck you todd

ToddBotBOTLast Saturday at 17:40

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:40

no respectfallout76 sucks

ToddBotBOTLast Saturday at 17:40

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:40

hey todd

ToddBotBOTLast Saturday at 17:40

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:40

new vegas was the best game

ToddBotBOTLast Saturday at 17:40

https://i.imgur.com/fK7zKeq.jpg

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:40

i love angelicodoes he bork

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:41

very delicately

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:41

:o

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:41

polite smol bork

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:42

if i ask him to speak what he do

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:43

tells you that hubris will be the downfall of man

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:45

he's not wrong

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:45

the church of st peter is an empty box! god's eye has turned from man!

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:45

taker: i'll drink to that (throws him jerky)

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:46

angelico has an amputated tail but he will do a full body wiggle for jerky

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:46

where him tail go :(

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:47

probably got cut off for medical reasonshe strikes me as a dog who got hit by a car once or twice

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:48

D:poor baby

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:54

he's probably happy and healthy otherwise

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:54

did one of those car hits happen in the valleyor did he just start talking with likeno cause

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:57

UNCLEARbut he is a happy goofy dog otherwiseand his owner adores him

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 17:58

AS HE SHOULD

84% CURSE BY VOLUMELast Saturday at 17:59

well loved by the whole neighbourhood but REAL weird to run into at times for obvious reasons

MilkshakeLast Saturday at 18:04

Hi i would die for angelico

Convicted BirdererLast Saturday at 18:04

taker does in fact give him a treat whenever he sees himhe lovs doggos....