#idk how to explain it except its almost intrusive thoughts? of imagining how my mother would read it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moodr1ng · 3 months ago

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ive been binging julia seranos online essays before bed and its definitely v good stuff thats bringing up a lot of new thoughts and connecting some dots in ways that i think i kinda had an understanding of but not rly a concrete and clear framework of, which is cool, but i think its also giving me weird ass dreams

#97 #i cant remember what actually happened in last nights dreams i just remember waking up thinking it was weird and related to the essays #one annoying thing is like..#ive mentioned already that my mom has been radicalizing right-ward for the past few years in a way thats a regular source of anxiety for me #very thankfully she has not veered towards transphobia though she has some shitty gender takes #but like. im lucky that my mom loves me enough that she wont turn outright transphobic right #however it has led to this weird thing where every time i read an essay or article on current trans issues #i constantly have like.#idk how to explain it except its almost intrusive thoughts? of imagining how my mother would read it #and specifically how she would read it uncharitably and ignorantly #and it makes it hard for me to read these bc im constantly plagued by thinking about shitty things she would say #crazyyyy like she doesnt even need to be here or aware of it i just have a version of her in my head whos just here to make me feel shitty

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