#idk how to explain all the gross bloody messy devotion

[nobodieshero-main]

i brought up the concept for to feed an ocean to some friends but the conversation turned kind of. intense. in a stressful way so it's just been stewing in my head since then, and this is pretty much how it's taken shape:

you are a child born into godhood, and you are not allowed to feel because your emotions bleed out of you in lightning storms and earthquakes, they are ugly and loud and too much and so you are taught to feel quietly. to not actually feel at all. 

you’re a kid with a best friend who lets you feel Everything and you love them so you learn to love them with everything in you. because nobody else wants it but he craves it. craves your sadness and joy and anger, the way it crackles through the air and over his skin. you’re taught to feel quietly so you channel all of your feelings into one thing, one person.

and then that person dies. for you. a sacrifice for a sacrifice. a goat to save the lamb. and you believe that you have doomed him, tainted him with your everything.

you always talked about crawling inside each other's skin, making a home in the cage of your ribs, falling asleep to the beating of his heart. 

you were a child born into godhood and your feelings bleed out of you like tears, like pouring rain and the relentless ocean tide. and your feelings drive your hands and your mouth and there is flesh in your teeth because you will keep him. you will keep him with you, always, under your nails and in your veins and in the lining of your stomach. 

you kneel in the sand, stained red red red, and the sky is crying with you and you hope he will find peace in the lullaby of your heartbeat. you do not want to be alone. you do not want him to be lonely.

the main characters are two boys from The Burrows

Slova is one of the first casters to manifest outside of the royal family, because of this is village consider him blessed and he becomes a sort of religious figure to them

he's taught not to feel, because back then casting was a lot harder to control so it would react to his emotions and things could get messy

R is from a Makai bloodline which gives him the gift of foresight but he doesn't actually know that at first, he just has odd dreams and weirdly accurate predictions

Slova is almost sacrificed, the village believing that spilling the blood of the blessed will bring them rain, but R saves him

they run away from The Burrows to the ocean because R's always had these dreams about it and he feels like the answers lie there

R's gift grows stronger and starts like. fucking with his head. because, similarly to Slova, he's never learned how to control it - touching or even looking at someone too long fills his head with visions

they're obsessed with each other in really gross, intense ways