#idk how it's going to play out but i just know the interplay of image and music is going to be so beautiful :')))))

[lonestardust]

my precious carefully curated tarlos playlist has been thriving because of the wedding and one of the staples there is Biblical. An aiming straight for heartstrings ballad that bursts open with lush powerful orchestration with lyrics about marrying the love of your life and why they are the one. and I love how calum as a queer artist writes from those universal yet personal perspectives that give space for queer love to be in the default to allow queer people to fully relate to very grandiose and mainstream modern pop standards, I especially love what he said about the song here 🥺

"The word Biblical to me is about unquantifiable love, a love beyond description or measure, a love of biblical proportions that transcends everyone and everything."

the opening verse starts with quiet and soulful piano, lyrics all about the insurmountable power of love and how it hits you :

"Didn't know that I'd fall so hard/ then my feet left the ground / Gravity don't make no sense when you're around / I come up against myself when / Demons in my head get loud / I don't know how you do it, but you turn them down.."

In the pre chorus things begin to percolate and there’s the addition of strings that makes the truths he's confessing to his person all the more assertive, loud and from the heart : “I slip and wonder who I’d be / If I never found you and you never found me / Well I don’t wanna see." then more strings enter and the chorus soars so beautifully "so won't you give me tonight / and the rest of your life? / I wanna have it all with you /I wanna have it all with you"

and then he professes that this love is biblical, and his vocals get tender avowing all of these truths to his person before he goes on again with assertive and full-bodied voice pledging his commitment that "If you ever go to pieces/ Fall between the thunder clouds / I will put you back together, I won't let you down"

biblical is so vulnerable and forceful with love all at once 😭 it really encapsulates it all!!! and to think of carlos and tk expressing that to one another on the day they unite forever and how it's all like an assortment of vows and the narration of their story from the start makes it so special 😭😭😭

[funkymbtifiction]

I think i’m 97x. in the heart center i feel the ”should do” like a 2 - be more helpful and optimistic. The heart/image is about shame, to not feel shame i know that i think that i need to be helpful and like fun/good for others to be around, if i am like that then it feels safe, like otherwise it feels like i’m not worth being there, like they could just get another one. But when i look at the stems I relate a bit more to this ”4-9: Withdrawn, compassionate, feeling invisible or insignificant, “I’m nothing”” than the 2-9 stem: ”Receptive, helpful, kind, caring, focused on needs of other, forgets self, “nice,” good samaritan, people-focused”. But the feeling like i’m nothing can be just the 9 and i’m withdrawn because of the 9 and not because i have the 4 fix with the 9.

9 cores are very withdrawn in general, you are right. I would go with your inner motivations and what you feel you should do, more than the stems, if you know what those motivations are. If you feel like you SHOULD be... more helpful, cheerful, and good toward others, that's an ego-based image type (2) kicking in. 4s don't feel they SHOULD be anything other than they are. They SHOULD be true to their 4-ness, otherwise it's a betrayal of Self.

9-4s are more self-absorbed than 9-2s, because 2 offsets the 9 tendency to get lost in oneself, but 4 exacerbates it. 2-9 interplay is a sense that I SHOULD be... more receptive, kind, helpful, and not want anything in return. (Feeding into the lie the 2 tells themselves, that other people need things; I don't. I should be above that.)

Would a 972 feel withdrawn? i dont think i look withdrawn to others on the outside but i feel withdrawn more than feels good for me. I feel like if i do have the 7 and 2, it should make me feel less withdrawn and more assertive because they are assertive and social. But on the other hand maybe the 7 and 2 (that want to be loved and assertive with my needs) needs to not be withdrawn and that’s why it feels like i’m more withdrawn than i want to, idk. With withdrawn i kind of also mean not being true to myself and showing myself because i cant if i forget myself, and that’s 9. (Not only forget myself, also it feels like i can’t show myself because of some inborn fear that i dont know what it is yet and it feels so instinctive and idk how i could ever get rid of it, and i dont know how to ever be myself as long as the fear is there so i dont like being 9)

They have 9 inertia combined with a 7 lust for everything in life, to go places, do things, see things. I knew an introvert with a 972 and she was somewhat withdrawn / lost in her own head much of the time (didn't want to connect to people casually, since they'd form dependencies on her -- 7 avoidance, unless they seemed FUN), but she had constant wanderlust. Wanted to go everywhere, do everything, see everything, her entire life was full of necessary chores that would earn her enough money to go on trips, because she didn't want to miss a single thing. If she couldn't travel, she bought things on a whim. Had closets full of clothes, drawers full of makeup, her life was very much about the 'excess' that comes from a strong 7 fix, combined with the guilt-trips of a 2 (I should be more considerate, take better care of people, be less needy, etc). It was interesting to me how isolated she could be (again, not wanting anyone to get dependent on her, because 7 was stronger than 2) and how much of her life was bent toward having a good time. She was also incredibly intolerant of any kind of negativity; that tritype together is the "why can't we all just get along?" tritype. It needs to be rainbows. A bad experience is a lesson learned! They run away from conflict, often literally.

(Why do you assume 972? Is 925 a possibility?)

Is the last fix good to know because they also show some things that motivates you/you are obsessed with doing but that maybe aren’t good for you?

Yeah. I mean, it's good to be aware of ALL the lies you tell yourself, and the last fix is probably the easiest one to mature, since it's optional. As a 2 fixer last, I still feel like I SHOULD answer all of you on a regular basis, but I'm also able to adopt a friend's advice: This isn't the ER. They'll live to see an eventual answer. xD

But i have one more question, should for example a two that wants love try to convince themselves of being loved like they are, or as a 9 try to get rid of the fear of separation, or is that impossible?

Both. Recognize that you needing love is part of who you are, and pay attention to how you try to get it, and don't let fear of separation or conflict keep you stuck in a bad relationship, out of a 2ish self-talk that they "need" me as an excuse for not being more assertive. 9 and 2 play off each other like that. 9 goes "I hate this, and I feel numb when I'm around this person, but leaving them might cause them to yell at me..." and 2 goes, "But they're broken and need you. Who else would put up with this or be their friend? Stay. Be a good person."

[go-forth-and-live]

Ship Bias!

Send ‘Ship Bias’ And I Will Share Up To 5 Ships (Romantic or Platonic!) I Have A Bias For For My Muse! || Accepting

Hazel and Gat is probably my Favorite as far as ships with canon characters go, though it’s also one where I... kind of like it more for the fact that I read it as being unacknowledged and unaddressed? So much of the Even a Worm arc is about accepting mortality and the permanence of death, and one thing that makes death scary is the fact that it just--closes the book, on a relationship. Whatever you left on the table with that person, whatever was left unsaid, whatever regrets there are, they’re just going to stay there, forever. There’s no such thing as perfect closure. There’s always something left behind, something left unfulfilled.  I think Gat knew how he felt and was at peace when he died, but that Hazel just--wasn’t in an emotional place to sort out All That Stuff while they were traveling together, especially when his relationship with Gat was already fraught with a lot of guilt and emotional baggage. And now he has to sort all of that out alone in his grieving, and--idk. I just think it’s all really sad and poetic and beautiful. 

I really love the dynamic @autumnswordsman and I have going with Zoro and Hazel in Royal AU! That’s honestly probably my favorite AU I have going with Hazel at present in general though. I like how much more scrappier Hazel is in that verse; he has no demon-induced superpowers, no ability to resurrect the dead, he’s been very loudly and publicly disgraced, but all he’s got is this desperate fool’s errand to reclaim his throne and he just goes all in, even though he’s got exactly like one (1) viable plan and no idea what to do if it falls through. I like the way he tries to joke around with Zoro and project this image of being In Control and Put Together and Totally Confident, because he knows how against them the odds are, and of all the ways their journey together can end, a solid 90% of them are varying shades of “grisly death”, and he wants to give the impression to Zoro that he knows what he’s doing here--meanwhile Zoro... legitimately does not seem to have put significant consideration into what the outcome of their adventure is going to be, and has made the call to stick with him to the end anyway. It’s just such a fun Slow Burn Road Trip Romance and I am About It. 

Technically I guess Varahal is my muse also since I RP him here occasionally as well, but I really dig the dynamic he’s got going with @hhemeraa‘s Myles. Like I did not expect a Varahal ship to ever come out of this blog, and it is still very much a... ship-question-mark?? The whole vibe of like “This is going to end in either you eating me or fucking me and I’m legitimately kinda down for either” is fun, and writing Varahal interacting with someone he views as a bit more on his level is exciting. And how all of that plays out with Hazel, being this awkward third wheel in this Thing between his inner demon and outer demon, just... idk! All of their threads are really neat!

Another familial relationship! I really love Hazel’s relationship with @notsomerciful‘s OC August. A lot of their development has happened in Discord threads thus far, but there’s just so much to chew on with that whole dynamic, and as far as family bonds go it feels sometimes so raw and real to write out. I love the interplay between Hazel really caring about August, but also being understandably wary about trusting her. I love how August really tries to do the right thing for Hazel, as a mom, and make the best call she can, but like any person she makes mistakes, and has to live with those choices. I love writing them out in post-canon verse especially, where they’re really just trying to clumsily understand and support each other, even if they don’t really know how. 

Platonic one again! We haven’t done too much with them yet, but I’m loving the chaotic trio energy with Kalinka, Hazel, and Schism. Hazel actually being made to be the straight man (in the only way you could ever call Hazel straight) is fun, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how they all bounce off each other in threads! I’d like, straight up read a comic about the three of them dicking around in the desert fightin’ beasties together. 

[plunder-heaven-and-devour-god]

In which I continue with my english lit rant but much shorter:

So because my brain needs to think about other things I’m going to keep talking about Measure for Measure.

So a week into the painting I’m doing for Measure for Measure has given me ample time to think about what symbols, themes, and motifs to visually represent. This has also forced me to mull over parts of the play, its problem parts for the most part. Because there is a historicist reading, religious, psychosexual, feminist, capitalist, and folkloric reading I had to think about which to concentrate on. Translating my emotional reaction to the version I saw in comparison with other adaptations can be tricky.

Which is why, like the play, I tried to make ambivalent representations. I borrowed the hair yank from the Ian Richardson’s Angelo because it has those sadomasochistic overtones, but there is an element to Isabellas reaction that plays the line between the psychosexual and the feminist reading. Those readings being 1) Maybe the interplay between the restraint of faith and sex does do something for ISabella 2) Angelo as a sexual predator.

Now you might be saying: “why would you try to blur the lines between “maybe she likes it” and “Sexual Predator”. 

1) The text itself does that, that isn’t production dependent.

2) IT’s a valid interpretation in a modern interpretation BECAUSE the interplay between the feminist reading and the psychosexual is carried through in the text, It was in the still very feminist version I saw, BUT the degree of assault is determined by the adaptation. 

That being said, the Oregon Shakespeare production of it, is C H I L L I N G. Like, genuinely strikes me cold with fear to the degree to which they say: this is rape. And I think there absolutely needs to be a version of Measure for Measure like this. But the version I saw puts Angelo down to pathetic, and less of an utter monster.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT

BECAUSE ISABELLA HAS TO FORGIVE HIM AT THE END.

THAT IS IN THE TEXT. THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NOT. 

Again, have the heavy feminist reading that includes the sexual assault. The structure of this play means that it will make mostly sense the whole way through and we need that version.

HOWEVER. 

IT really does beg the question: can sexual assault ever be portrayed properly on stage or in film? I am not here to answer that, I am but a humble hyper fixated worm, but! It does make a difference, because even watching David Tennant force a kiss on Isabella made me think: UHHH THIS MIGHT BE PUSHING IT. 

And I, personally, don’t love a version of the play which is Angelo nearly sexually assaulting her and then she finds it in her to forgive him for it. Depending on how violent and atrocious it is? N O ! NO NO NO! I don’t want to watch that near rape and have her spare his life. The version I saw, he more or less prostrated himself at her feet, held her hand, and pathetically buckled at every touched, and at most, kept his distance as he followed her around the stage. This makes Isabella forgiving him later feel??? More realistic, because in this sense hes an immoral wretch, a pathetic worm, and HOW DARE HE. Instead of an honest to god rapist, and at that point forgiving him would feel disingenious even by Shakespeare Jacobean era.

So I try to keep it implied in my painting (and wow you know im trying to get away from twitter if Im giving you a fine arts self critique) which I feel is better for one image. If I ever got the chance to adapt it I would probably make Angelo feel somewhere between pathetic, domineering, and submissive. If that makes sense? Like, if the religious reading is in keeping with this, then it would be like an angel *madonna plays in the background* TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. 

Anyways this is why when Martha Henry played Isabella in the 1970s she wiped herself down post Interview #2 out of disgust or heat? WE DON’T KNOW. And I learnt this straight from the Stage Manager Nora Polley (who has a book called Whenever You’re Ready which you should get because it has some of her most amazing experiences working for the Stratford Festival). 

The Snake?!

WELL!

IT WAS ON THE SHIRT I BOUGHT AT SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. And its Isabella as Justice with her balances, her eyes obscured by a snake, who has slithered up the body. To which I freaked because it’s such a good visual representation. BUT ALSO? snake? In the Garden of Eden. And if we are talking Angelo as a fallen angel? Thats the extent of my input there. 

They also played sexually religious songs? Like? Hozier, Depeche Mode, Madonna. Twas all there, and if I ever did a film (it’s my pipe dream to go GDT and just make films of my obsessions) I would also make my film with sexual religious songs. 

Uh so thats all i got. Wow, a lot less than my last english lit breakdown.

Anyways Billy Shakes wanted us to be sexually attracted to some of his villains, idk if Angelo was one, but Richard III, Edmund, the Macbeths, those he kinda intended.