#idk how it's going to play out but i just know the interplay of image and music is going to be so beautiful :')))))

[lonestardust]

my precious carefully curated tarlos playlist has been thriving because of the wedding and one of the staples there is Biblical. An aiming straight for heartstrings ballad that bursts open with lush powerful orchestration with lyrics about marrying the love of your life and why they are the one. and I love how calum as a queer artist writes from those universal yet personal perspectives that give space for queer love to be in the default to allow queer people to fully relate to very grandiose and mainstream modern pop standards, I especially love what he said about the song here 🥺

"The word Biblical to me is about unquantifiable love, a love beyond description or measure, a love of biblical proportions that transcends everyone and everything."

the opening verse starts with quiet and soulful piano, lyrics all about the insurmountable power of love and how it hits you :

"Didn't know that I'd fall so hard/ then my feet left the ground / Gravity don't make no sense when you're around / I come up against myself when / Demons in my head get loud / I don't know how you do it, but you turn them down.."

In the pre chorus things begin to percolate and there’s the addition of strings that makes the truths he's confessing to his person all the more assertive, loud and from the heart : “I slip and wonder who I’d be / If I never found you and you never found me / Well I don’t wanna see." then more strings enter and the chorus soars so beautifully "so won't you give me tonight / and the rest of your life? / I wanna have it all with you /I wanna have it all with you"

and then he professes that this love is biblical, and his vocals get tender avowing all of these truths to his person before he goes on again with assertive and full-bodied voice pledging his commitment that "If you ever go to pieces/ Fall between the thunder clouds / I will put you back together, I won't let you down"

biblical is so vulnerable and forceful with love all at once 😭 it really encapsulates it all!!! and to think of carlos and tk expressing that to one another on the day they unite forever and how it's all like an assortment of vows and the narration of their story from the start makes it so special 😭😭😭

[funkymbtifiction]

I think i’m 97x. in the heart center i feel the ”should do” like a 2 - be more helpful and optimistic. The heart/image is about shame, to not feel shame i know that i think that i need to be helpful and like fun/good for others to be around, if i am like that then it feels safe, like otherwise it feels like i’m not worth being there, like they could just get another one. But when i look at the stems I relate a bit more to this ”4-9: Withdrawn, compassionate, feeling invisible or insignificant, “I’m nothing”” than the 2-9 stem: ”Receptive, helpful, kind, caring, focused on needs of other, forgets self, “nice,” good samaritan, people-focused”. But the feeling like i’m nothing can be just the 9 and i’m withdrawn because of the 9 and not because i have the 4 fix with the 9.

9 cores are very withdrawn in general, you are right. I would go with your inner motivations and what you feel you should do, more than the stems, if you know what those motivations are. If you feel like you SHOULD be... more helpful, cheerful, and good toward others, that's an ego-based image type (2) kicking in. 4s don't feel they SHOULD be anything other than they are. They SHOULD be true to their 4-ness, otherwise it's a betrayal of Self.

9-4s are more self-absorbed than 9-2s, because 2 offsets the 9 tendency to get lost in oneself, but 4 exacerbates it. 2-9 interplay is a sense that I SHOULD be... more receptive, kind, helpful, and not want anything in return. (Feeding into the lie the 2 tells themselves, that other people need things; I don't. I should be above that.)

Would a 972 feel withdrawn? i dont think i look withdrawn to others on the outside but i feel withdrawn more than feels good for me. I feel like if i do have the 7 and 2, it should make me feel less withdrawn and more assertive because they are assertive and social. But on the other hand maybe the 7 and 2 (that want to be loved and assertive with my needs) needs to not be withdrawn and that’s why it feels like i’m more withdrawn than i want to, idk. With withdrawn i kind of also mean not being true to myself and showing myself because i cant if i forget myself, and that’s 9. (Not only forget myself, also it feels like i can’t show myself because of some inborn fear that i dont know what it is yet and it feels so instinctive and idk how i could ever get rid of it, and i dont know how to ever be myself as long as the fear is there so i dont like being 9)

They have 9 inertia combined with a 7 lust for everything in life, to go places, do things, see things. I knew an introvert with a 972 and she was somewhat withdrawn / lost in her own head much of the time (didn't want to connect to people casually, since they'd form dependencies on her -- 7 avoidance, unless they seemed FUN), but she had constant wanderlust. Wanted to go everywhere, do everything, see everything, her entire life was full of necessary chores that would earn her enough money to go on trips, because she didn't want to miss a single thing. If she couldn't travel, she bought things on a whim. Had closets full of clothes, drawers full of makeup, her life was very much about the 'excess' that comes from a strong 7 fix, combined with the guilt-trips of a 2 (I should be more considerate, take better care of people, be less needy, etc). It was interesting to me how isolated she could be (again, not wanting anyone to get dependent on her, because 7 was stronger than 2) and how much of her life was bent toward having a good time. She was also incredibly intolerant of any kind of negativity; that tritype together is the "why can't we all just get along?" tritype. It needs to be rainbows. A bad experience is a lesson learned! They run away from conflict, often literally.

(Why do you assume 972? Is 925 a possibility?)

Is the last fix good to know because they also show some things that motivates you/you are obsessed with doing but that maybe aren’t good for you?

Yeah. I mean, it's good to be aware of ALL the lies you tell yourself, and the last fix is probably the easiest one to mature, since it's optional. As a 2 fixer last, I still feel like I SHOULD answer all of you on a regular basis, but I'm also able to adopt a friend's advice: This isn't the ER. They'll live to see an eventual answer. xD

But i have one more question, should for example a two that wants love try to convince themselves of being loved like they are, or as a 9 try to get rid of the fear of separation, or is that impossible?

Both. Recognize that you needing love is part of who you are, and pay attention to how you try to get it, and don't let fear of separation or conflict keep you stuck in a bad relationship, out of a 2ish self-talk that they "need" me as an excuse for not being more assertive. 9 and 2 play off each other like that. 9 goes "I hate this, and I feel numb when I'm around this person, but leaving them might cause them to yell at me..." and 2 goes, "But they're broken and need you. Who else would put up with this or be their friend? Stay. Be a good person."

[go-forth-and-live]

Ship Bias!

Send ‘Ship Bias’ And I Will Share Up To 5 Ships (Romantic or Platonic!) I Have A Bias For For My Muse! || Accepting

Hazel and Gat is probably my Favorite as far as ships with canon characters go, though it’s also one where I... kind of like it more for the fact that I read it as being unacknowledged and unaddressed? So much of the Even a Worm arc is about accepting mortality and the permanence of death, and one thing that makes death scary is the fact that it just--closes the book, on a relationship. Whatever you left on the table with that person, whatever was left unsaid, whatever regrets there are, they’re just going to stay there, forever. There’s no such thing as perfect closure. There’s always something left behind, something left unfulfilled.  I think Gat knew how he felt and was at peace when he died, but that Hazel just--wasn’t in an emotional place to sort out All That Stuff while they were traveling together, especially when his relationship with Gat was already fraught with a lot of guilt and emotional baggage. And now he has to sort all of that out alone in his grieving, and--idk. I just think it’s all really sad and poetic and beautiful. 

I really love the dynamic @autumnswordsman and I have going with Zoro and Hazel in Royal AU! That’s honestly probably my favorite AU I have going with Hazel at present in general though. I like how much more scrappier Hazel is in that verse; he has no demon-induced superpowers, no ability to resurrect the dead, he’s been very loudly and publicly disgraced, but all he’s got is this desperate fool’s errand to reclaim his throne and he just goes all in, even though he’s got exactly like one (1) viable plan and no idea what to do if it falls through. I like the way he tries to joke around with Zoro and project this image of being In Control and Put Together and Totally Confident, because he knows how against them the odds are, and of all the ways their journey together can end, a solid 90% of them are varying shades of “grisly death”, and he wants to give the impression to Zoro that he knows what he’s doing here--meanwhile Zoro... legitimately does not seem to have put significant consideration into what the outcome of their adventure is going to be, and has made the call to stick with him to the end anyway. It’s just such a fun Slow Burn Road Trip Romance and I am About It. 

Technically I guess Varahal is my muse also since I RP him here occasionally as well, but I really dig the dynamic he’s got going with @hhemeraa‘s Myles. Like I did not expect a Varahal ship to ever come out of this blog, and it is still very much a... ship-question-mark?? The whole vibe of like “This is going to end in either you eating me or fucking me and I’m legitimately kinda down for either” is fun, and writing Varahal interacting with someone he views as a bit more on his level is exciting. And how all of that plays out with Hazel, being this awkward third wheel in this Thing between his inner demon and outer demon, just... idk! All of their threads are really neat!

Another familial relationship! I really love Hazel’s relationship with @notsomerciful‘s OC August. A lot of their development has happened in Discord threads thus far, but there’s just so much to chew on with that whole dynamic, and as far as family bonds go it feels sometimes so raw and real to write out. I love the interplay between Hazel really caring about August, but also being understandably wary about trusting her. I love how August really tries to do the right thing for Hazel, as a mom, and make the best call she can, but like any person she makes mistakes, and has to live with those choices. I love writing them out in post-canon verse especially, where they’re really just trying to clumsily understand and support each other, even if they don’t really know how. 

Platonic one again! We haven’t done too much with them yet, but I’m loving the chaotic trio energy with Kalinka, Hazel, and Schism. Hazel actually being made to be the straight man (in the only way you could ever call Hazel straight) is fun, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how they all bounce off each other in threads! I’d like, straight up read a comic about the three of them dicking around in the desert fightin’ beasties together. 

[plunder-heaven-and-devour-god]

In which I continue with my english lit rant but much shorter:

So because my brain needs to think about other things I’m going to keep talking about Measure for Measure.

So a week into the painting I’m doing for Measure for Measure has given me ample time to think about what symbols, themes, and motifs to visually represent. This has also forced me to mull over parts of the play, its problem parts for the most part. Because there is a historicist reading, religious, psychosexual, feminist, capitalist, and folkloric reading I had to think about which to concentrate on. Translating my emotional reaction to the version I saw in comparison with other adaptations can be tricky.

Which is why, like the play, I tried to make ambivalent representations. I borrowed the hair yank from the Ian Richardson’s Angelo because it has those sadomasochistic overtones, but there is an element to Isabellas reaction that plays the line between the psychosexual and the feminist reading. Those readings being 1) Maybe the interplay between the restraint of faith and sex does do something for ISabella 2) Angelo as a sexual predator.

Now you might be saying: “why would you try to blur the lines between “maybe she likes it” and “Sexual Predator”. 

1) The text itself does that, that isn’t production dependent.

2) IT’s a valid interpretation in a modern interpretation BECAUSE the interplay between the feminist reading and the psychosexual is carried through in the text, It was in the still very feminist version I saw, BUT the degree of assault is determined by the adaptation. 

That being said, the Oregon Shakespeare production of it, is C H I L L I N G. Like, genuinely strikes me cold with fear to the degree to which they say: this is rape. And I think there absolutely needs to be a version of Measure for Measure like this. But the version I saw puts Angelo down to pathetic, and less of an utter monster.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT

BECAUSE ISABELLA HAS TO FORGIVE HIM AT THE END.

THAT IS IN THE TEXT. THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NOT. 

Again, have the heavy feminist reading that includes the sexual assault. The structure of this play means that it will make mostly sense the whole way through and we need that version.

HOWEVER. 

IT really does beg the question: can sexual assault ever be portrayed properly on stage or in film? I am not here to answer that, I am but a humble hyper fixated worm, but! It does make a difference, because even watching David Tennant force a kiss on Isabella made me think: UHHH THIS MIGHT BE PUSHING IT. 

And I, personally, don’t love a version of the play which is Angelo nearly sexually assaulting her and then she finds it in her to forgive him for it. Depending on how violent and atrocious it is? N O ! NO NO NO! I don’t want to watch that near rape and have her spare his life. The version I saw, he more or less prostrated himself at her feet, held her hand, and pathetically buckled at every touched, and at most, kept his distance as he followed her around the stage. This makes Isabella forgiving him later feel??? More realistic, because in this sense hes an immoral wretch, a pathetic worm, and HOW DARE HE. Instead of an honest to god rapist, and at that point forgiving him would feel disingenious even by Shakespeare Jacobean era.

So I try to keep it implied in my painting (and wow you know im trying to get away from twitter if Im giving you a fine arts self critique) which I feel is better for one image. If I ever got the chance to adapt it I would probably make Angelo feel somewhere between pathetic, domineering, and submissive. If that makes sense? Like, if the religious reading is in keeping with this, then it would be like an angel *madonna plays in the background* TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. 

Anyways this is why when Martha Henry played Isabella in the 1970s she wiped herself down post Interview #2 out of disgust or heat? WE DON’T KNOW. And I learnt this straight from the Stage Manager Nora Polley (who has a book called Whenever You’re Ready which you should get because it has some of her most amazing experiences working for the Stratford Festival). 

The Snake?!

WELL!

IT WAS ON THE SHIRT I BOUGHT AT SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. And its Isabella as Justice with her balances, her eyes obscured by a snake, who has slithered up the body. To which I freaked because it’s such a good visual representation. BUT ALSO? snake? In the Garden of Eden. And if we are talking Angelo as a fallen angel? Thats the extent of my input there. 

They also played sexually religious songs? Like? Hozier, Depeche Mode, Madonna. Twas all there, and if I ever did a film (it’s my pipe dream to go GDT and just make films of my obsessions) I would also make my film with sexual religious songs. 

Uh so thats all i got. Wow, a lot less than my last english lit breakdown.

Anyways Billy Shakes wanted us to be sexually attracted to some of his villains, idk if Angelo was one, but Richard III, Edmund, the Macbeths, those he kinda intended.

[jasperrollswrites]

Ode to Fat

I always forget to post on this blog too...a simple weight gain commission for MysteriesOfMe.

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Bodies like oceans. Undulating, swaying, flowing. Rolling waves, swelling and breaking, crashing on the shores. Vast, untameable, raw, powerful, and always beautiful, no matter what anyone says. This is our tribute to hedonism, to corpulence, and unconventional beauty. One man’s trash is another’s treasure, and there is so much to treasure. This is our Ode to Fat.

A nice sentiment, to be sure, and a lot classier than the usual kind of thing you’d expect from a site like this. The text was in a nice, not too hard to read but smart looking font, coloured grey on a pure black background. Underneath it was a button to enter the site, and Merlin dutifully clicked it.

Ode to Fat (odetofat.me) was, from what Merlin had heard, a relatively new site for plus sized modelling and nudes. He’d seen mention of the place on a Discord server for appreciation of bear-ish people, and he had to say he did like its style so far. As Merlin watched the slick loading screen (a grey circular bar, looping around as it filled to 100), he put his chin in his hand, the the bristles of his unshaven chin pressing against the palm as he waited. The last rays of the sun were coming in through the window, the darkness setting in, and he looked around the room, noticing that it was quite dark inside and he hadn’t even noticed.

Standing up, he walked over to the light switch near the door, turning on the light, which took a moment to flicker into full brightness. He blinked, the light hurting his eyes, and he let them adjust before he moved over to the window to close the blinds. He was dressed kind of lazily today. He wore a regular cornflower blue shirt that was a loose enough fit to not cling too tightly to the slight pudge he had on his body, and some grey sweatpants. No socks or shoes, nothing like that. It had been a lazy day in general.

He pulled the blinds over the window and looked back at the computer, seeing that it had loaded and the site was now displaying a number of different models available to look at. They were all dressed up in various looks but the focus seemed to be mostly on class - nice suits and tuxedos. Merlin clicked on the first one that caught his eye, a blond-haired guy with a light, scruffy beard and a black bow tie ensemble.

The portfolio of chubby men was whisked away, and a full screen image of the man Merlin had clicked on appeared. He was sitting on a chair, leaning back into it, smiling naturally at the camera. A jaunty black square appeared and filled with a bio, identifying the man in question as Caleb.

The biography was, refreshingly, focused on Caleb as a person rather than as a necessarily sexual prospect. It detailed the kind of person he was, his interests, and some of his personal beliefs about what it was like being a fat person in society, and what that meant to him. Merlin scrolled down, and the pages shifted to show Caleb’s gallery of pictures and videos. As he scrolled down, the pictures seemed to progress from clothed to various states of undress, but after about 20 pictures, a lock symbol appeared.

Subscribe to gain unlimited access to Caleb’s gallery - and every other gallery on Ode to Fat.

Merlin stroked his chin. Maybe. Not yet. The site hadn’t quite won him over into thinking it was worth it. He backed out of Caleb’s profile, back to the main page, and clicked between a few of the other models available. They were all broadly similar in style - a bio about themselves, pictures of themselves getting progressively undressed, the most lewd ones locked off for subscribers only. There was a decent range of diversity in the men available, of various ethnicities and ages, clean shaven, big beards, some scruffier than others. Of note was the fact that they all seemed quite...comfortable. They were all quite nice looking too, of course. Merlin glanced up at the top of the screen, seeing an “About” tab, and clicked on it. Maybe this would elucidate his feelings about the site - understanding what exactly it was about.

Fat is beautiful. That is our belief. We reject the modern notions of conventional attraction - to be fat is not shameful, to be fat is not a sin. To be fat is to be just as worthy of love and happiness as any other person in the world. Thus, we created this website, our Ode to Fat, to spread our message that fat means there’s just more of a person to love.

This is not a place of degradation, of mocking and scorn. It is a place of appreciation. Our models have presented themselves exactly how they wanted to be presented, revealing as much as they want to reveal. Their gallery is what their fatness means to them, and you can appreciate it along with us.

Merlin’s brow furrowed. Interesting take. A refreshing one. A lot of sites for this kind of thing had this...mode of talking that he didn’t really like, talking about how disgustingly fat and piggish their models were, how they were such big hogs who couldn’t stop eating...on and on...sometimes there was a mood for that, but more often than not Merlin just wanted to sincerely appreciate the beauty in something that most might not find so beautiful, and that seemed to be the tone this group were going for.

He clicked to the next tab, subscriptions. It seemed to be a monthly model of varying tiers. $5 a month got you access to the galleries, and then increased price values allowed you to see bonus videos or photos, you could subscribe to a particular model and get updates specifically for them...there were a lot of options, certainly. There was also an option to sign up to become a model, but Merlin didn’t really look at it. He was chubby, but he wasn’t the kind of chubby these guys were. Seriously, some of these guys were like, real big.

He’d have to think about the subscription service. He was intrigued by what was available, but he didn’t know if he wanted to commit to paying a monthly service just yet. At the very least, he’d heard a couple of people say they were very happy with their subscriptions. 5 dollars, that was...what, £3? Wasn’t that bad a price to get access to the full galleries. Merlin tapped his desk as he thought. He could shell out that much a month, right? It was less than paying Netflix monthly, certainly. If he felt like he wasn’t happy with what he was getting he could pull out after a month. Only a little bit out of pocket. It wouldn’t be the biggest loss of money in the world.

He clicked on the button for the $5 subscription. It seemed the most reasonable, since he’d get pretty much what he wanted out of the site. He diligently went through the process of putting in his card information to set up the recurring payment. A few button clicks, and he was finished. He had access, an e-mail notification popped up in the corner of the screen to inform him his card had been charged. A little bit extra for the conversion charge, but not enough to make him think this might be a bad idea.

Might as well see what his subscription had gotten him. He clicked back to the main page, and went back to the first guy he’d taken a look at, Caleb. The profile loaded up in a couple of seconds, and he scrolled down to see what he’d been missing before. A bunch more pictures had opened up for viewing, and he clicked to examine them in closer detail.

He found himself breathing a sort of tiny sigh of relief, as the pictures all seemed to be of a tasteful sort, even with the increased nudity. There had been a part of him that had felt kind of...suspicious? Like once he’d hit the subscribe button it would’ve reverted to the same sort of degradation kind of thing a lot of sites followed, as some sort of subversion - build ‘em up and knock ‘em down, that sort of thing. He needn’t have worried, it seemed.

He looked closely at an image he’d brought up to full size on the screen. It was black and white. Caleb was looking out a window, no clothing on, a small smile playing on his lips. The camera was at a low angle, and there was a high contrast between the shadow and the light. There was something about the interplay between the two opposites that really just highlighted how big this guy was. His belly was satisfyingly round, coming out quite a ways before him, sagging down a little but pleasantly plump. His chest rested on the belly - he was slightly turned away from the camera, so only one nipple was showing, but the areola was pretty big making it stand out. The shadow slightly covered the curve of his buttock, but it could still be made out, and from what he could see it was a pretty big one, smooth and round, a bit like a beach ball, and he imagined the rest of the guy’s butt was much the same.

Merlin smiled a little wistfully. What a look. He wish he looked like that. He’d made a bit of an effort before, but getting to that level of fat was like a full time job - or at least, that was how it was for him. When he’d seen other guys talking about how they’d gotten so fat, it was a range of experience from a dedicated gaining diet, to “idk i just kind of ate a lot and ended up fat lol”. Some guys got all the luck. He’d ended up slightly chubby, but nowhere near the weight someone like Caleb was at.

Although, it seemed like this would not be the case for much longer.

Within Merlin’s body, something was happening, something had been activated on a biological level. Things like mitosis and cytokinesis, where cells divide into multiples of themselves, are a just a regular part of human and animal biology, but something had changed - it was happening faster, or maybe the mass had changed. It was unclear how, or why this had happened, but the broad stroke of it was this - the cells of fat that had made Merlin kind of chubby were suddenly multiplying, slowly at first, but then quickly picking up the pace. There wasn’t an immediate outward effect at first, but it would take a minute - a minute which Merlin had to continue looking around the site.

He’d clicked out of the picture he was admiring, and was now browsing around the other models, seeing who else he liked. His attention was mostly drawn to the more hirsute guys. They had a tendency to be pretty big in form, even compared against most fat guys, and he had always loved big beards. These guys had some pretty big beards, full and curly, some with some grey streaks to give them a feeling of maturity. It was a very attractive feature to Merlin.

As he browsed around, the division of cells was starting to take an effect upon his body. The fat was settling where it could, and it began with a fairly appropriate place - the belly. Bit by bit, second by second, his waistline slowly began to increase in width. Little streaks of discoloration began to appear across his stomach, stretch marks being drawn in as his skin realized that he was starting to increase in size, and stretching to accommodate the increasing mass. Merlin was yet to notice, focused as he was on the site, but it was only a matter of time.

Next, it was beginning to settle around his thighs. His legs were getting thicker, the fat starting to close the gap between his legs, while on the outside it was beginning to press against the arms of the chair he sat on. Merlin shifted, feeling a little uncomfortable. As he briefly pushed himself off the chair, his buttocks began to bloat, each cheek swelling in size, slowly at first, but then picking up speed, quickly beginning to fill out with fat, so that when he sat his butt back down in the seat, it pushed tightly against the back and sides, squeezing out through any gaps. It was something Merlin could not help but notice, and when he looked down to investigate the problem, it was a bit too late to do anything about it - not that he could have, if he wanted to.

The whole process was something like a stone rolling down a snowy hill - slow at first, and not making much progress, but picking up momentum and mass along the way, until it was unstoppable. In this overplayed metaphor, Merlin had already reached terminal velocity, and all there was left to do was ride it out and see what happened. There was a second or two of shock and surprise as Merlin stared down at his body, seeing it grow before his eyes. His shirt was pulled up as his belly flopped out, his belly button looking rather deep with the added fat. He placed a hand on the gut, feeling the doughy flesh give way rather easily, and feeling his hands increase in size a little, filling out with fat as well.

He blinked and came to his senses, trying to get out of the chair, but his growing thighs and buttocks had wedged him in it, and it was going to take a bit of effort to get him out. He’d need to be quick. He was only getting fatter as the seconds passed, and it would only get more difficult the longer he left it. He placed his hands on the armrests, and pushed, trying to lift his body out of the chair. He could hear it creaking as his weight increased. He had no way of telling, but his guess was that he was probably past the 300lb mark by this point.

He pushed down hard on the armrests, and as he did so, his upper body was gaining fat as well. His chest swelled, what would’ve been pecs on a muscular man becoming flabby and plump. They would’ve sagged down were it not for the enormous belly he’d already grown, instead settling softly atop the belly. His arms grew in size, fat, hanging off them, wobbling as he strained to pull himself out of the chair that a minute go, he had considered as perhaps slightly too big for him.

His fat thighs pulled against the plastic armrests, the bottom of the chair being pulled up with him as he stood on his feet, which had also grown in size to support his new pear-shaped body. He let off for a second, and then pushed down again with renewed strength, straining to pull his flabby body out of the chair. It was like a cartoon, the way his body popped out, making the chair clunk against the ground and causing him to stumble forward. Not used to his body’s new size, he fell forward with an extremely heavy thump.

He groaned a little, and placed a fat hand on the carpeted floor, pushing to attempt to roll himself over. It took a couple of tries, with how big he was, and the feeling of all his fat rolling with him as he did so was a very new sensation. His shirt pinged up, cleaving tightly to his chest, leaving his belly on full display. He was glad he was wearing sweatpants. He didn’t want to think about what might have happened had he been wearing a less flexible kind of pants.

For the moment, his spontaneous growth seemed to have halted, and he had a second to look himself over. Pushing himself into an upright position, and with a clearer mind, he slowly began to realize exactly how he looked, and he couldn’t help but have a feeling of awe. He was...mountainous was the word that came to mind. It might not be a bad estimate to say he’d tripled in size. He felt his own belly with both his hands - indeed, it was as soft and doughy as it had been before, giving way easily underneath his palms. He was so utterly huge it was a little scary, but Merlin couldn’t say he was unhappy about this sudden development. What was more an immediate concern for him was how this had even happened. Blowing up like this was something that happened in fantasies of his. But this...seemed like it was for real.

Before he had much more time to contemplate this, however, his transformation received a second wind. The focus here was on his head and face. Merlin had already been pretty chubby, as previously stated, but the fat was starting to fill his face out, making his cheeks rounder, and his nose became a little bit bigger. His face was gaining a sort of ruddy complexion, becoming redder, making him look a bit more jolly.

It wasn’t just fat that was increasing this time, though. He was getting a boost of testosterone, and then a subsequent conversion into DHT that was giving him a sudden growth of facial hair. Hair was pushing out on his upper lip, across his jaw, up the side of his face. A beard was growing in a matter of seconds, filling out to the kind of length that took many months to achieve. It quickly straightened out, full of volume, as its length reached down to just above his chest.

He was getting hair all over his body too, quickly becoming more hirsute moment by moment. A light dusting of little pushed out across his arms, his chest, his belly - actually, it was a little more than a light dusting on the chest, the hairs increasing in length, forming quite a thick carpet across his chest. Merlin pulled on the collar of his shirt to get a glance at it, and his beard slipped down into the gap he’d opened up. He laughed a little, pulling the beard out and letting the shirt ping back into place. God, this was...all very new, and all very agreeable, as far as he was concerned.

He stroked his new beard, closing his eyes and smiling. It felt very good to touch, smooth and silky. He didn’t even really want to question how this had happened any more. He just wanted to enjoy it. There was a deep satisfaction for him in being so big he could feel it. He was taking up so much space just sitting here on the floor. He might have almost found being stuck in the chair a little hot if it hadn’t been something of a pain. For a few minutes, he just sat there, feeling himself over, his hairy body, his thick and full beard, his flabby body, revelling in his size.

Eventually, he had to stand up and do something, however. Doing so was a little tough. His fat got in the way of the usual forms of standing up, and he had to do a combinations of rolling and leverage from the nearby bed before he was able to stand up on his feet. He had a new clarity of mind, and now that he had a second to think, his mind redirected towards the most obvious question - how?

The most obvious answer was what he had done seconds earlier. He had subscribed to the website, but Merlin couldn’t really see why or how doing such a thing would trigger such a spontaneous growth in him. He waddled - he chuckled to himself a little, he had to waddle now - back towards the computer. He was about to sit in the chair, but thought better of it. Either it would break under his weight, or he’d get even more stuck than he had been the first time. Neither sounded like the best option. He’d have to shell out some money for a bigger chair.

He looked at the site - it was where he’d left it, the gallery of an older guy called Solomon. Merlin looked down at himself briefly, noting he didn’t look all that different from the man on the screen any more. He moved the mouse around, clicking through the site, trying to find any indication of what had just happened, but there didn’t seem to be any. Was it a coincidence? Or was this what his friends had meant when they said the subscription was worth it…? Man, if this was what $5 did, what would the higher subscriptions do?

Merlin scratched his hair, his hand tracing down his sideburns. A lot of things about his life would have to change if this wasn’t just a temporary thing. He wondered how he’d pay for all the new stuff he’d have to buy to accommodate his new body. His eyes drifted towards the top right of the screen.

“Become a Model”

Merlin looked down at himself again. Now...that might not be such a bad idea.

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