#idk how high I got but ITS GOT 4 PARAGRAPHS? oh my god

[vurrisntthere]

ok guys uhh prepare your eyes because theres a lot of uhh text and lore.. :( pls bare with me

[splicejunction]

Please tell me about shatterstar's Childhood

oh my god anon okay I’m assuming in context of what I’ve recently posted you want like... my version of events rather than what’s canon but just in case I hope you know that there’s basically zero canon material that actually describes his childhood/young adulthood beyond “I was a warrior born” or whatever the fuck. if you want to know about that idk go on the fucken... marvel wiki page or something

also--I hate that I have to put this out here and I doubt anyone would actually do this but just in case--I have spent like 1 million hours thinking about this because I have brain disorders and it is very close to my heart so please do not A) use this in fics, etc without letting me know/getting my permission in advance or B) reblog this post

anyways. this is a can of worms so I’m going to do a cheeky lil

first we have to get something out of the way: I hate the “shatterstar’s his own grandpa” paradox. I am sorry if this angers people but it makes me mad so I ignore it. the reason it bothers me is because it means alison blaire essentially married her grandson, which is A) weird and B) bad from a genetics perspective.

in my version of canon ‘star IS the biological child of longshot and dazzler but longshot wasn’t cloned using ‘star’s DNA because..... oh god... another whole separate post can be made about this but... in my head, on mojoworld the way genetic engineering works is not really the same as it is here. here genetic engineering generally means taking an existing genome and inserting or deleting genes. this is how they make, for example, animals that glow, or confer pesticide resistance to plants.

but on mojoworld I think the way they genetically engineer is more like... the way we mechanically engineer. like the entire organism is built from the ground up. there’s a master genetic blueprint which is essentially the “minimal genome” required for a functioning humanoid. this was created by study of Earth humans by arize and the other genetic engineers. they can then go in and customize by adding elements to the genome that code for the signals/building blocks that control things like height, strength, hair color, eye color, having hollow bones etc. so in my head longshot was sort of... designed with ‘star as the inspiration, but not directly cloned. that wouldn’t even make sense anyways because A) different hair color and B) LONGSHOT HAS 3 FINGERS ON EACH HAND and shatterstar has 4!! thats NOT HOW CLONES WOULD WORK!!!!

(side note, the concept of a minimal functional genome is a real thing in biology! some scientists have taken a bacterium that already has a small genome and reduced it to the minimum size required for viability. here is a wikipedia article on it and here is the original paper (DOI: 10.1126/science.286.5447.2165) which I can explain in more detail because I took a class on synthetic biology which this technically falls under and I had to read this paper very closely).

fuck I’ve written 4 paragraphs and not even talked about his childhood yet. I am so sorry. anyways. so the way I think they raise the gladiators on mojoworld is they create them in batches of 5 to 10 identical copies of a certain “model”, place each copy in a different “class” with a set of 2-3 mentors/teachers, and train them to fight until they are 13 or 14. until this time the only names they have are the names that identify the “model”--like for shatterstar that would be gaveedra-seven where the model identifier is “gaveedra” and he is (in the lore that I have come up with) the 7th of 8 total.

the reason they create multiples and put them in different classes is each mentor is going to have a slightly different style of teaching which is going to work better for some and worse for others, so it allows them to have more mass production while increasing the chances of creating a truly great champion. it’s classic nature versus nurture--the genetic engineers create your nature, but you don’t end up exactly the same as others of your model. maybe you get an edge, maybe you don’t.

another thing that happens is different mentors believe in different ways of raising the kids in their care. shatterstar specifically was raised in a class where there was absolutely zero emotional development at all and no attachments allowed beyond fighting alliances. that’s not the case in all classes, and it also had the effect of making him somewhat of an outsider even within the other gladiators as he got older.

at 13 or 14--and yes I realize this is very fucked up but dude its fucking mojoworld idk what you expected--they start participating in fights. the first ones aren’t to the death and they’re as teams and they’re not usually televised they’re more like high school sports games that are attended by scouts (here, they’re “sponsors”--I think that’s a canonical term but I honestly can’t remember) and if you get sponsored you leave your class and join a new “team” that’s really just a bunch of people who all have the same sponsorship. this is where things can get interesting because they’ve all been raised with slightly different fighting styles but more importantly, slightly different degrees of Personhood.

also at this point I should mention that by this time, there are usually only 2, maybe 3 of each model left. either they died or were recognized as not having talent so they were sent to eventually fulfill other roles in the network. in ‘star’s case there was just him and gaveedra-five. once you get to the stage where you’re sponsored and you’re actually fighting to the death one of the first people you’ll fight is any remaining members of your model group.

by the time you’re the only one left of your group, you’re also eligible to earn a stage name. this usually happens if you have a particularly epic fight with a lot of viewers, you win and the commentators will typically say something like “Let’s give this crowd a real name to cheer!” and they’ll have a few candidate names and they’ll kind of just pick one. AUGH I actually have this scene written out in story form but its too long so I think I’ll save it.... :) 

after you get a name you also get a cool outfit and usually some kind of mark or tattoo that serves as a brand. this brings me to another important point--shatterstar inherited the X-gene from alison and therefore he IS a mutant. his mutation is the swords vibration thing and the glowing eye. the star mark is a tattoo and teleportation is benjamin russell’s mutation (how he fits into all this is... for another post). basically after he got his name the costuming department guys were like “hey your eye glows, you look like the Legendary Warrior of Old, Longshot, we’re gonna pattern your look after him” so they gave him the star tattoo and the outfit that’s literally inverse colors of longshot’s.

also this brings me to another aside: you’re probably wondering “if he’s the biological kid of longshot and alison how are there 8 gaveedras?” when the genetic engineers got a hold on him as a baby they were like Sick! free baby! free genetic material! thats our job done for us! so they cloned him (in the traditional sense) and made 7 copies. this was also to kind of conceal his identity as technically being from outside mojoworld, which would make him stick out and thus be a target. they DID edit out the x-gene in the other gaveedra models though. this wasn’t a problem for ‘star because his mutation didn’t manifest until he was already sponsored.

I think that’s .... pretty much it for macroscopic lore on what it was like to be a kid gladiator on mojoworld. now let me give you some Tidbits of his life specifically:

like I said he was raised in a particularly cold and ruthless class. the mentors that raised him are like well-known by everyone to produce some of the best warriors but also there’s discourse on mojoworld because some people say perfectly emotionless killing machines aren’t as fun to watch. when he was sponsored there were 4-5 others in the same sponsorship and they were like Theres Something Wrong With You LOL

they speak earth languages on mojoworld because they’re imitating the broadcasts they (the spineless ones) used to hear from earth. however, most of the lower-class as well as almost all arena fighters and other television personalities speak cadre or other languages which are native to the planet. the stage names are all vaguely in english, but the gladiators don’t really understand them at first.

shatterstar got his name before he got the glowing eye, and when he learned what stars are, and saw his eye as a little star, he was like wow :) this is Me :) which is why that name is so important to him. it’s also one of the first things that wholly belonged to him.

(you can’t see stars on mojoworld because of light pollution and also because it’s a pocket dimension and there just aren’t that many stars to see)

I hate to bring up the s**ley miniseries but I do think it would be interesting to have him have a sort of ... mentor/first friend, similar to the concept of gringrave but they were NOT in a relationship. it was more like... another kid who was a year or so older than him got a soft spot for him and helped him not be so clueless. she didn’t make as much progress as xforce did, obviously. but they were.... something like friends.

unfortunately she was used by spiral to get shatterstar to murder the first rebel guy who tried to get him out of there. then she got switched sponsors (this can happen) and he had to kill her, and he was like well I will simply never develop any kind of attachment to anyone ever again.

he almost didn’t make it out of the first training session with his sponsorship group (this is semi-canon--there’s a reference when he’s teaching terry to swordfight to almost not surviving the first time he was in a gladiator class or whatever it was).

the closest he ever came to losing was the day he got the name. that’s why the crowds loved it so much.

the double-bladed sword was a gimmick weapon but when he got his mutation they realized it works way better if there’s resonance between two parallel blades so they redesigned it as an actual weapon.

(forgot this but I feel like I should include it) at 17 he escaped the arenas and joined the cadre alliance. two years later he came to earth and joined xforce.

I think that’s going to have to be it for now because it’s literally almost midnight and I have work tomorrow and I did NOT intend to stay up this late but I did. thank you for this opportunity anon :) feel free to ask me any other questions and also I realize a lot of this probably makes no fucking sense and that’s because I am not a writer or anything I’m just a biochemist with brain problems that cause me to obsess over stupid shit

[lokislytherin]

For the writing positivity ask meme: 3, 10, 15, 21, 30!

OOH A RESPONSE! thank you for the ask @khunfounded​!

prepare for a lot of rambling

3. What is your favorite line/paragraph that you’ve written?

hmmm i’ve written a lot of things before this is hard lmao i’ll just pick my top two!

from tower of god, ships in the night ch14: this is one of the most poetic things i’ve written, ever (thank taylor swift’s ‘cardigan’ for the inspiration with the line “you drew stars around my scars // and now i’m bleeding” because i love folklore and taylor swift is megabrain)

“The wounds she'd dug into his mind may never truly heal, but they are merely memories of pain now, pale scars painted over with gold ink, tattooed with stars and guitars and whatever the night had to give.”

from bts, burn the stage ch1: circus poetics, of course.  after reading the first (and only) chapter i wanna continue this again sdfjkldkls why do i keep starting fics but never finishing them? i should actually Commit

“without a sound, it creeps into cities in their darkest hours, bringing with it shadows of caravans dimly lit by rattling lanterns and flickering light bulbs.  if you take a closer look, you can see the silhouette of an elephant in its trailer, illuminated by the faintest shine of moonlight.  this time, the circus is in busan.”

10. What’s the best comment on a fic you’ve ever gotten?

time to scroll through my 1000+ comments lmao

okay after a while of scrolling i have no idea what the best comment is but ngl any comment from @resident-normal-person​ is bound to get me wheezing at some point because her comments are so long and detailed and it’s like watching reaction vids but in words

but ngl this comment from one of the fics i’ve kinda left behind (one chapter is up and i said I’M GONNA CONTINUE THIS IT’S GONNA BE SO LONG I HAVE SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PLANNED FOR JIN) cracks me up tho: 

“Please continue? I'm actually interested”

15. Tell me about a time when you got super inspired.

laughs like i haven’t listened to taylor swift’s ‘willow’ five times today

so i get inspired by songs really easily? especially by taylor swift songs, because each song has a unique narrative and taylor is such an amazing songwriter she’s literally so talented i don’t know if i want to dissect her lyrics or her brain

yesterday her new album evermore came out and i promised my swiftie friend we’d listen and scream about it together, and we did, and before i knew it-

OK FIC PLANNING LET'S GO (this is me trying~) - ILLICIT AFFAIRS / CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS / CLOSURE?: FT KHUN EDUAN, JAHAD AND MAMA AGNIS, SITNVERSE - WILLOW: CRYSTAL SNOW PREQUEL, VLENE - NO BODY NO CRIME: I DON'T KNOW YET BUT PROBABLY KHUNBAM CRIMEBUSTERS AU - EVERMORE: PROBABLY RELATED TO 'EXILE' FIC holy crap the bridge i'm shivering in my seat (it's not the cold) - TOLERATE IT: I DON'T KNOW AS OF RIGHT NOW BUT I WILL, MAYBE JALENE UNREQUITED LOVE FROM JAHAD POV? - ivy: maybe a continuation of willow? but as a plant witch!arlene au, which might tie in to cruel summer? sfdlkasdfjfd - gold rush: part of khunbam celebs au? - marjorie: maybe part of 'the curious courtship ritual of a black turtle' as a tribute to arlene? marjorie was taylor's opera singer grandma - happiness: bam character study with links to rachel? or should i use clean for that - coney island: the lyrics are tragic, so maybe arlene's thoughts in her last moments in sitnverse? i need the angst practise - cowboy like me": city boy eduan gets stranded in a car trip and has to stay the night with country cowboy v? either way it does not end in true love forever or whatever - long story short: bam moving on from rachel and finding love with khun? or khun moving on from maria and finding bam? sfdkljsdfkjlfds i don't knowww so many ideasssss - dorothea: interesting song but i gotta admit i have no idea what to do with this one

kaboom

you can visibly see where i started chilling out lmao but me and my friend spent a little over an hour screaming about evermore, so far my favorite tracks are ‘no body no crime’ (true crime inspired! i want to dissect the narrative and write a fic, maybe start that fugou keiji x khunbam au) and ‘champagne problems’ (eduan-style ‘illicit affairs’ vibes, you’ll get it if you’re caught up to ships in the night)

i did pretty much the same thing for folklore too? like i linked every single song in the album to a oneshot idea and now my swiftie friend is screaming at me to hurry up and actually write the saga because she wants to read my fics

21. Tell me about a time when you impressed yourself.

me in may: *plans out the entire plot of ships in the night*

me in december, actually following the plot: *surprised pikachu* i- i can do that? i did that? just over 100k words? oh my gods this is what dedication actually is

(my inner kim namjoon, waving a razor: NOW STUDY OR I’LL SHAVE YOUR EYEBROWS)

okay but here’s another anecdote: this is me trying to analyze one of my fics, i’m connecting bts’s hyung line (kim seokjin, min yoongi, jung hoseok (hobi), kim namjoon) to space metaphors, i’m screaming at my army friend over whatsapp in the middle of the night because i was kinda high on sleep deprivation

this is like from some time early last year

hC: YOONGI IS THE NIGHT AND HOBI IS THE SUN SO HOBI BRINGS LIGHT TO YOONGI'S WORLD AND LETS HIM SEE THE BETTER PARTS OF HIMSELF AND MAKES HIS LIFE BETTER THEREFORE SOPE IS TECHNICALLY THE BEST SHIP

AND JIN IS THE STARS BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO MAKE YOONGI SEE THE TRUTH, AND HIS MAGIC IS ALSO THE COLOR OF STARS AND WHEN HE DOES MAGIC HIS EYES GLOW SILVER AND I SHOULD FIND A PIC OF PLATINUM BLOND JIN BUT IDK IF IT WOULD LOOK GOOD

and then me a few days after that

actually no jin is the moon because he brings light to others but also because he helps them but he doesn't help himself so he's lonely that way like the moon

so namjoon could be the stars because they're not on the same level but he's still with jin

and the moon only glows because it reflects the light of the stars around it which suggests that the only reason why jin is still around is because of his love for namjoon and joon's love for him

me more than a year later, after the release of bts’s second most recent album map of the soul:7, which includes kim seokjin’s solo track ‘moon’

HOLY SHÏT DID I PREDICT MOON

LIKE JIN’S MOON MOON

i literally just remembered that just now? like i was looking for the namjinsope space analysis and then i saw jin = moon and was like JIN = MOON? I SAID THAT? ON 4/7/19? i even predicted the song meaning?

also go to 3:22 to see why jin owns my heart he deserves all the love in the world

30. Do you know how proud I am of you?

*tears up* you- you are? thank you so much

[the-pen-and-the-stethoscope]

my official, uninterrupted, unapologetic thoughts on the album Lover by Taylor Swift as i listen in its entirety at 6:30 am on Friday morning after working until 10 pm the night before.

Before I start I am already emotional. my hands are sweating. my heart is pounding. are those tears in my eyes or am i exhausted? idk. ok here we go...

1) fuck yes. snaps. love a song with snaps. A BEAUTIFUL BREAKUP SONG ABOUT HOW YOU JUST DONT EFING CARE ANYMORE. ahhh i love how there is like this build up and you think it’s going to be a headbanger of a chorus but then it just stops and it’s like...oh wait actually this is v calm right now i just dont care about you anymore. but also OMG SHE JUST LAUGHED ummm also I love how upbeat this is. i guess what im saying is that WANEGBT walked so I Forgot That You Existed could run. 

2) MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. this song will always bring me back to being on an airplane flying to Peru because it is literally the only song I listened for my entire trip to Peru last spring. but also from the moment it came out I was obsessed with the unapologetic happiness in the song and it’s all about YOURSELF. WAIT WTF WHERE’S THE SPELLING LINE THATS MY FAVORITE TO YELL????? TAYLOR WHERE IS IT??? WHERE IS IT??? i’ll be taking this up with my lawyers. your people will hear from my people. 

3) well i just went back to my spotify and REALIZED THAT IT WAS ON FUCKING SHUFFLE FUCK ME. OK WE ARE STARTING AGAIN. 

1) SECOND LISTEN THOUGHTS ON IFTYE: this song is just the perfect beat. i just realized that she laughs TWICE actually (maybe more??) and this is my official petition that she laughs during all live performances. thanks. 

2) OMG REP VIBES WITH THAT LOW BASE SYNTH. oh wow I love this transition much more than the one to ME! I’m glad that was on shuffle the first time. This literally could be a REP song. GETAWAY CAR THAT’S WHAT IT REMINDS ME OF! OH. MY. GOD. WELL THANKS FOR PUTTING A REP SONG ON LOVER OK IM NOT OK. did she just say “loving you aint the worst thing...you are the worst!”? Idk I will evaluate the lyrics a second (third...fourth...fifth...) time. 

3) AHHHH LOVER OMG OK LET ME JUST STARE AT MY CEILING FOR THIS ONE. “Swear to take this magnetic force of a man” is up there on favorite tswift lines. cant decide if i want this to my first dance song at my wedding OR the song that plays near the end of the reception when everyone is tired and like all the couples come up and dance and so then it’s like you get to see how many people are in love OR the song that i save for afterwards when we are alone in our hotel room. good to know i’ve got options. 

4) god damn HERE WE GO WITH SOME REP VIBES. (to clarify any deep base pulsating beat is rep vibes to me apparently) lyrics: “they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to” “every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you” “they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve” “I’D BE JUST LIKE LEO” GOD THIS IS AMAZING I’M OBSESSED. “If I was a man I’d be THE MAN” 

5) OMG THE ARCHER. WAS LISTENING TO THIS LAST NIGHT AND THINKING LIKE....THIS MIGHT BE FAVORITE ONE????? I KNOW SO SO EARLY BUT SO FAR IT HOLDS UP IT’S JUST LIKE....THAT SLOW BUILD I LOVE IT. EVERY TIME I LISTEN THERE IS A DIFFERENT MEANING. AMAZING SONG TO RUN TO LIKE ON REPEAT. WHICH IS HARD TO FIND. PROBABLY HARDER TO MAKE. I STAN. 

6) THERE YA GO MISS SWIFT WITH THE SNAPS AGAIN. ohhh hmmmm someone’s horneyyyyy this song feels like a whisper...like you’re at a bar and you are like pointing out this hot guy you’ve been seeing around and you whisper to your friend ‘that’s the one’. OMG BRIDGE. WAIT WHAT OMG WAIT OMG WHAT BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGEEEEEE. well okay I kinda feel like a huge wind just knocked me off my feet. i’m slightly stunned. no time to process before...

7) OMG TALK ABOUT REP VIBES. This could be a beautiful music video. This is like -- i have a lot of feelings none of them have words but this song has a BLACK vibe and a DARK vibe and i’m picturing a high school shrouded in clouds at night. running through the hallways in a ripped dress. Wow wow wow. 

8) oh good some happy songs again. ahhhhhhhhh now THIS I CAN DANCE TO. AHHHHHHHHHHH I’M IN LOOVE. this is so freaking romantic. OH ANOTHER BRIDGE FROM BRIDGE CITY. Taylor like you brought it with these bridges girl. OMG THE SLOW FADE AWAY AT THE END...SOBBING.....

9) THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS IS I’M ONLY HALFWAY DONE. Oh wow is this song going to make me cry? just obsessed with how etherial this is. wow omg this is like the most complex love story ever written in a song ever. so many twists and turns i’m just sitting here asking questions!!! What happened on cornelia street that you dont want it again? why did you pack your bags? OH YAY HE GOT YOU TO COME BACK. OMG DOES EVERYONE HEAR THAT THUNDER EFFECT IN THE BACKGROUND???? omg wait omg that last line!? I will be listening to this A LOT.

10) I feel like taylor’s got a lot of happy sounding songs that are breakup songs and a lot of sad sounding songs that are actually about being in love on this album it’s so interesting!!! like this is a breakup song and wow everything about it is upbeat and pop-y. “trying to find a part of me you didn’t take up” (I FEEL THIS SO HARD WOW). love the boarded up house metaphors and like just everything else i CANT THINK FAST ENOUGH god idk why I committed to writing all my thoughts....

11) OMG SOMEONE WAS TALKING. ahhhhh she loves all these American things but she LOVES A LONDON BOY. “I GUESS ALL THE RUMORS ARE TRUE” power move!!!!! ASLDJALKDFLKJAGL;KADSLASDFLKASDFLKJ AS SOMEONE WHO LIVED IN AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CITY OF LONDON I’M JUST LOVING THAT THIS IS BASICALLY A LOVE SONG TO LONDON. FORGET THE BOY. ALL THESE LONDON REFERENCES ARE KILLING ME. (did she just name drop stella mccartney???? I HEARD THAT OKAY!?) 

12) DIXIE CHICKS. IT’S A COUNTRY SONG I CAN ALREADY TELL. THE STRUMMING GUITAR. I’M DYING. wait is this about her mom???? ok well i’m crying.........wow so so so so so beautiful and soft and hopeful. 

13) FIDDLEEEEEEEE oh short lived but omg that was exciting for a moment i thought we were gunna get a crazy country song. This is a good transition....the way this song starts soft and slow and doesn’t come in swinging feels appropriate after Soon You’ll Get Better. WOW. “Religion is your lips....the alter is my hips....” SEX. I’m glad this is not a country song. wow my head was in an odd place that will be weird to come back to after knowing what this song actually is about (it’s about sex)

14) YAS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. (it’s 7:40 am but we could have had greatnesssss) THIS SONG SERIOUSLY SLAPS. GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH. also true story - for like the first week after it came out I SWEAR I thought there was a lyric at some point that said “you’re freaking me out” and like I still think that one of the lyrics SHOULD be that so like I know I’m not a seven time Grammy award winging singer/song writer but like taylor can we change that? can we? MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT THIS SONG IS THAT IT NEEDS TO BE AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES LONGER. 

15) ahhhhhhh omg shes like learning about holding onto love and not picking fights and growing through difficulty and not blowing up. (I’ve run out of ways to say omg this is amazing and i’m obsessed). but this is like a GREAT ballad. 

16) BACK TO MEEEEEEEE I like it a lot better here phew thank god we were on shuffle before. I wanted the DJ to play this song at my friend’s wedding back in May (OMG NO MORE SPELLING LINE AHHHH) and they like wouldn’t??? so weird. I honestly think this is a self love song but also an amazing romantic love song and I think it belongs in a wedding playlist. 

17) omg so cute...little best friend love. also i love how simple this song is. no big production. we are back to basics and child hood. AHH HORNS. I thought this song was going to be like TIWWCHNT but its just purely wholesome!!! She’s serious - it’s nice to have a friend! I agree! 

18) LAST SONG AND ITS ALMOST FIVE MIN LONG MY BODY IS READY. This is just classic classic taylor swift and an amazing way to end the album. it’s like the conclusion paragraph of an essay on how she’s happy and content and in love with not just her lover but herself. the world used to be harsh, but now it’s just daylight. (another bridge city - just fyi - for those listening at home that’s where you are now) SHE IS SO HAPPY. “Step into the daylight and let it go” OMG SHES TALKING!!!!! WHERE IS THIS FROM??? IS THIS AN INTERVIEW OR IS IT NEW OMG WAIT WASN’T EXPECTING THAT ENDING WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

OKAY FRIENDS THAT WAS IT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND NOW I NEED TO LISTEN AGAIN AND AGAIN FOREVER AND ALWAYS. THANK YOU @taylorswift (@taylornation ) FOR TRUSTING US WITH SUCH A MAGICAL JOURNEY. 

[jake-g-lockley]

Ok so this is like super random but yeah I thought I'll tell you anyways... (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

I have trouble sleeping most nights which causes me to stay awake a lot of the night and sometimes the whole night even, so a few days ago I was up at like 4 or 5am I started re-reading The Light Of My Knight.

And oh my god i don't even know what happened. Like usually I feel pretty dead inside after not sleeping all night but after spending all night reading that I actually felt amazing, like I got out of bed so happy that my friends that day thought I was genuinely high on something. (I feel like the fact that it's a desi reader helped cuz I'm desi idk)

So yeah thank you so much for the amazing work and for making my day amazing. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Sorry for such a long paragraph I gotta stop rambling 😭😭😭

OMGGGGG NOOO THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENT I COULD EVER GET 😭

Seriously, I started this writing thing again (i used to write on wattpad lollll) because I just love the idea of taking all my jumbled up thoughts and just spewing it out of my brain so that my brain can relax HAHAHA 🥹 Its just therapeutic you know? But then when I started writing for specific people I was so surprised at how easy it was to be more happy. I mean sure now we have a lot of rep but AHHH I just wanted to make it a little more special, mainly cuz I love my moon boys so much. Sometimes I come up with an idea and Im kicking my legs and squealing cuz if something like that were to happen to me i might die.

Man your ask just reminded me to try and finish the next chapter I have for The Light of My Knight. Its my baby and I’m lowkey ashamed for abandoning it 🥲

NO THANK YOU for your amazing support, its just been so overwhelming and it does drive me to write a little more :”DDD and noooo you’re not rambling, im the one whose probably rambling rn cuz sometimes idk how to take a compliment and im just like:

[hyuckworld]

char im in my taehyun brainrot phase (idk if i can call it a phase ??? it never ends help me) so im going to read the fuck out of your ice prince taehyun fic bc ICE PRINCE TAEHYUN >>>>>>

WHY IS WHY EN STEALING THE CROWN 😔 LIKE OKAY MAYBE TAEHYUN IS ABUSING HIS POWERS MAYBE ??? but he’s hot i dont see what the big deal is. also not jake being the cockiest mf ?@#? AND A LOSER LIKE WHATS UP WITH THAT DISTRACTION HES SO FUNNY WHYS HE COMING FOR THEIR SKINNY LEGS

char i know. i know deep in my heart that this is supposed to be scary, like “oh god they fucked up omg the mission is over.” but the sexual tension between me and this paragraph rn......... this is so hot im sorry

You stretched your hands out towards the crown, but before you could even feel its icy surface beneath your gloved hands, you felt someone’s body press flush against yours from behind, one arm holding you around your shoulders, and the other pressing the edge of an ice dagger against your throat.

LIKE SORRY BUT 😃 ZOO WEE MAMA .. ALSO THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED TAEHYUN LIKE /?#%?? HES SO GORGEOUS MY GOD also yeah i wont repeat myself........ u already know...... YOU KNOW how i feel ab This part

Before you knew it, Taehyun was leaning over you, gently cupping your neck in his hands. You closed your eyes, certain that he was about to strangle you for your vain attempt at destroying the crown. His fingers were like icicles against your skin; smooth, strong, and deathly cold.

okay but torny (taehyun horny ie. horny 4 taehyun) thoughts aside, the fact that he saved her :(((( hes so cute wtaf AND HE WANTS TO RESTORE THE KINGDOMS BALANCE AND UNDO HIS FAMILYS MISTAKES !!! ONLY MAN EVER <333

also wow y/n this was kinda hot..... what’s normal prince soobin (as opposed to dark prince soobin) gonna do tho.. water prince afraid of water....... embarrassing !! also addy will never write that fire prince yeonjun one so this is basically hyuka + beomgyu vs taehyun and i think taehyun would solo them both

You nodded, keeping your eyes trained on his. “Alright. But the moment I sense that you’re lying to me, Your Highness, not even the four princes of the surrounding kingdoms will be able to save you from my wrath. Understood?”

UGHHGH I WANNA LIVE IN PRINCE TAEHYUNS CASTLE MANNNN <//3 I WANNA BE TAKEN CARE OF BY TAEHYUN N 😭 okay but “i know this is the ice prince’s palace, but does it have to be so cold?” me in 70 degree weather

TAEHYUN MAKING A FIRE FOR MC 😭 😭 EVEN THO HE KNOWS HE COULD DIE E....... im so upset why is he the best boy ever WOW I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BE A DICK BUT THIS IS THE BEST SURPRISE I WANNA KISS HIM SO BAD

WOW . I think whenever t his man smirks i just ??@?# i lose it just a little ????? like wow /?@#?? WHA T 😭 AND GOD THIS LINE BYEBYE BYE BYE I CANT DO THIS

Taehyun leaned back against the sled, the slight smirk you had grown accustomed to seeing taking over his features once again. “Well, what exactly is your type, my lady?”

the way mc just described him to the T wow okay but !!! “i’ll send them your way” SO SEND YOURSELF?? crying can he just marry me already. yeahh u guys im actually inserting myself for once into this reader insert so where’s my kiss 😚 wait nvm here it is wow w wo w

“Maybe the kingdom is still waiting for its new beginning,” He said. Gently, he grabbed your chin and turned your face towards his. He smiled then, the action alone so bright and warm, you were surprised the snow didn’t melt right off the trees.“ The kingdom may still be waiting for its new beginning,” He whispered, “But I think I have found mine.”

actually no yeah i still need my kiss. CMONN WA T I WAIT T WAIT I GOT TO THE WATERFALL SCENE GOD DAMMMMIT LORD THE “AND HERE DO YOU LIKE IT HERE” BEFORE HE KISSED HER GOD THIS EDGING???#$ I CAN BARELY BREATHE STUPID BITCH sorry i did not mean to call u a stupid bitch BUT FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME GET THIS HOT AND BOTHERED OVER FLUFF STUPID BITCH I FEEL LIKE HORNY FILTH BUT ?@???@$ TAEHYUN IS LITERSALLY THE BEST E EVER 😭 AND OH GODDD WHEN MC PUSHED HIM BACK AND KISSED HIM UNDER THE WATERFALL I THOUGHT I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN MY LORD i dont even have a part to screenshot bc just .,23.r. THAT WHOLE SCENE chefs kiss all the way i cant even post which part was my fav without deadass putting ur entire scene in here

miss y/n don’t sacrifice yourself !!!! 😭 NOOO I GET WHY SHE DID IT BUT WHYYYY but omg it’s taehyun’s rapunzel moment <33 go get ur healing powers king

OMG THE ENDING 😭😭 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: KISSING TAEHYUN WITHOUT HIM OVERHEATING AND FUCKING DYING. I ADORE THIS SO MUCH CHAR I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF YOUR WRITING AND RELATIONSHIP AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT LIKE MC AND TAEHYUN R SO FUCKING CUTE AND IF U DONT WRITE ANOTHER FIC RN I MIGHT JUS T D WORD???

bonus! 2/4 lysol thirsting over ur fic even tho u probs will see this in the gc anyways:

when the ice begins to thaw | kang taehyun [f] ice prince! au, 10.4k words

s u m m a r y : The rumors of the Ice Prince, Kang Taehyun, that run throughout the kingdom of Glacies are nothing short of terrifying. Known as a spoiled boy who does nothing but take advantage of the horrors bestowed upon the kingdom by his grandfather, the late king, Taehyun is feared and despised by nearly all of his subjects. When you decide to take matters into your own hands as the kingdom’s greatest thief by plotting to steal the crown that harnesses the prince’s unjustly earned powers, you are surprised to find out that perhaps the Ice Prince is not exactly who everyone fears him to be.

c o n t e n t s : kang taehyun x fem reader, ice prince! taehyun, thief! reader, lots and lots of fluff, very mild angst, features enhypen’s 02 line!!

t a g l i s t : @honeyju @chanluster @tyonfs @magicalstellar

n o t e : this oneshot is my contribution to the five princes collaboration! you can find the masterlist for the collab here. check out the other participants’ blogs too! [ @bffsoobin, @juunnies, @honeyju, @gyuluster ]. this was a lot of fun to write and i hope you guys enjoy it!

FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS THOUGHT TO BE THE GREATEST THIEF AROUND, YOU WEREN’T VERY QUICK ON YOUR FEET. 

Keep reading

[brookesayshai]

Tag for @mineking2435

tcorny1: Do you sleep on a blanket over your mattress with another blanket on top, or with just one blanket on top of you? Lots a blankets 2: Personally, what do you believe happens when a person dies? ghosts r cool 3: If faced with the opportunity, would you ever kill a criminal whom you don’t know if it meant you could get anything you want in return? (Keep in mind you do not/can not know what said criminal has done to become a criminal until after you’ve made your decision) nope 4: The funniest nickname you can come up with for __Batman Jesus The Rapist_________ ? (throwback) 5: What type of art could you always appreciate but never see yourself actually doing?  realism 6: You’ve been given the option to choose how the human race reproduces. How would we reproduce, which sex would bare children, and how would we bare them? (Eggs, litters, etc) same as it is bc fuck change 7: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever experienced, may it be just reading about it or experiencing it in the flesh? uh, discovering this site 8: You can choose any world to go to from any book, movie, video, fanficion, etc, and the option to become the main character. Where would you go, and would you be involved in the main story, or just watching on the sidelines? fallout and both bc i can 9: What is one thing in this world you would get rid of if you knew it’d be erased from the entire history of the human race? the emoji movie 10: Describe ____life_______ in your own words. 69 69 11: You’re in hell! One song is playing on repeat for eternity. What song it it? Oh Ms Beleiver

12: You get to create a entirely new species. Describe the name of them and what they look like. purple firaffe w/ monkey head

13: You’re now allergic to EVERY animal except for one. Which animal is it? Rat 14: What’s on your mind right now? him 15: Try and describe your closest friend in the silliest way possible. corny 16: You can stop doing one of the following– Eating, Using the restroom, Sleeping– without any consequences. What do you choose? using rr 17: You have to live on a world famous landmark for the rest of your life. Which landmark would you live on/in? idk 18: You can babysit 6 extremely poilte and kind kids for not very much money or one extremely rude and disrespectful child for a high amount of money for a week. Which do you choose? either or 19: You have to use one word in every sentence for the rest of your life. What word is it? fuck 20: Go on a vacation forever or never leave your home town? im fine w/ hometown 21: What would your character be described as in an upcoming anime? cynical beeotch 22: You get to redesign the whitehouse. Describe how your fabulous revisions would make it look? a maze garden 23: You’re now inhabiting the body of the last person you talked to. Who is it, how how weirder out are you? @mineking2435 24: Add a letter to the alphabet! What’s its name and what does it look like? bers (idfk) 25: Weirdest fetish you’ve ever found out about and how? Foot i think 26: Every mosquito drops dead and they are never found again or every wasp? waspsss 27: Fear you had when you were little that you grew out of? dark 28: The ability to make everyone listen to you when you want to say something or have no one notice you when you don’t want them to? 2 29: What’s your favorite meme? the dank ones 30: Best surprise you’ve ever gotten? him :))) 31: Do you no longer listen to a song because it reminds you of someone you don’t talk to anymore? kinda, yeah 32: Write a full paragraph about yourself without being negative (or just a sentence if you don’t want to write a full paragraph!) I would say something and than, but it doesnt matter or its not important or not that i care 33: Describe the most attractive person you’ve ever seen without mentioning their name. Himmmmm mmmm damn 34: Upload your all time favorite picture! cant pic, we’re just too cute together 35: You wake up tomorrow and end up having NO responsibilities to do, including work, school, cleaning, projects– Nothing!– As well as full access to an endless supply of money for an entire week. How do you spend it? being lazy as usaual 36: Write a plot for a TV show that you would most definitely watch. Drama, romance, action, comedy XD 37: If you had to choose between only wearing shorts and long sleeves or pants and a tank top for all of winter, what would you choose? (No coats allowed or other garments under or over the shorts or pants!) What about my bra? 38: One thing you’d love to wake up to? him every morning  39: You can choose to learn one talent to master or choose many talents that you’re somewhat okay at. Which do you choose? many ok talents 40: Favorite quote/saying? “Goodnight, sleeptight, don’t let the bedbugs crawl into your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself” - Tyler Joeseph 41: You say one sentence to go down in history and be remembered years after you pass, even centuries into the future. What’s the sentence? Im a god damn mother fucking fishstick, you got dat or naw 42: Favorite video you’ve ever watched? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAvxLESWJG8 (bc of the one phrase) 43: Type/act like you did when you were 13 and describe your plans for tonight. I will, uh cry myself to sleep (emo phase so yeah) 44: You’re a baby with a very deep voice. What would you say to startle everyone in the room with your very deep baby voice? CHEESY FRIES MOTHER FUCKER 45: Funniest joke you’ve ever heard? my life 46: Ever pulled a prank, and if you did– What was it? I told my sister when she got her first period, if she farts blood will go everywhere and her friends joined in on it 47: You can be a human with fur or a dog with hair. Which do you choose? human with fur  48: In your own opinion, the weirdest advertisement you’ve seen? old spice i guess bc its too wak 49: Did you answer honestly to these questions? yes 50: Your hair can be any color you want, but its permanently there. For an example, you can dye your hair another color after, but the color you originally choose will always grow back in eventually. What color do you choose?

tyedye idfk

Heres some more @mineking2435

When you are old, what do you think children will ask you to tell stories about?

If you could switch two movie characters, what switch would lead to the most inappropriate movies?

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?

What inanimate object would be the most annoying if it played loud upbeat music while being used?

When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great?

What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

How would your country change if everyone, regardless of age, could vote?

[lifekindahappenssobeit-blog]

welcome to my blog kinda happens

I AM PISSED I WROTE THIS WHOLE POST THEN MY BROWSER CLOSED ON ME SO I HAD TO START OVER FUCKKKKK

WELCOME TO MY BLOG, WEIRDOS…

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU PROBABLY FIT INTO ONE OF 5 CATEGORIES:

1.    

I TRUST YOU ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU MY SECRET ANONYMOUS BLOG SO YOU CAN SEE ME WRITE ABOUT COLLEGE, OR WHAT I’M GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE.

2.    

YOU LOOKED UP “STUDYBLR” OR “DEPRESSION” TAGS AND ARE HOPING TO DISCOVER SOME GIRL THAT WENT OFF THE DEEP END AND THIS IS SOME BLOG ABOUT HOW I FOUND GOD OR JESUS IN A POTATO CHIP, ALL HAIL SPUD-GOD! (IF ONLY, AMIRIGHT?!)

3.    

YOU ARE PROCRASTINATING AND THIS CAME UP IN YOUR FEED

4.    

YOU ARE/WANNABE MY NEW INTERNET FRIEND (PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF YOU FALL UNDER THIS CATEGORY, I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE A NAME TO MY PARENTS SO THEY CAN FINALLY THINK I HAVE FRIENDS)

5.    

YOU FOUND MY PRETTY INSTAGRAM (OR SOON TO ME STUDYGRAM) AND ARE HOPING THERE WILL BE MORE IN THIS BLOG.  FULL DISCLOSURE: YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.  THANKS FOR READING THOUGH, BUT HOPEFULLY THIS WILL (OR WILL NOT) BETTER SUIT YOUR NEEDS.

Whatever category you fall in, thanks for reading! A bit about this blog or me as of today:

-I finished my first year as a pre-med Biochem student at a tier one university in the good old USA (despite Trump’s America lol) my gpa is around a 3.5 which some say is shit for pre-med, but as someone who is depressed as shit… I think it’s like frosted flakes

great! ha ha ha ha (im not funny omg why)

-I tried to kill myself a month ago and almost got sent to the big house psych ward/institute)…. (yes, i will make a blog post about this someday…)

-I finished my first day of orientation at my internship!!! It’s not my first day as i’ve been there since January, but it’s my first “official” day as I just got approve last week haha… oh oh oh!! Forgot to say… I WON AN UMBRELLA (THE GOOD $30 KIND TOO) TODAY AND A T-SHIRT (that high end cotton blend too… ;) )

so important… ikr

But I am happy and feel somewhat lucky as I intern for one of the best research hospital labs in the nation…. so this blog will be my pretty studyblr notes and posts as I move on with my life as I transfer from my suicide attempt and intern at this lab to see if I’m interested in science research rather than medicine (which I am currently thinking about pursuing).  Let me clarify a few things in the past sentence/paragraph:

1.     I IN FACT DID NOT GET DISCOURAGED FROM BEING IN THE MEDICAL FIELD AT ALL AND MAKE UP SOME BULLSHIT EXCUSE LIKE “I NEED TO TAKE TIME TO FIND MYSELF.” I JUST WANT TO SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD TO MAKE SURE I DON’T LOVE *YES, LOVE* SOMETHING MORE THAN BEING A DOCTOR…. LIKE I KNOW ALREADY (plot twist: I don’t) but give me credit okkkk 2.     I AM NOT WORKING AT SOME RANDOM LAB BUT RATHER WORKING IN  A TOP LAB THAT OVER 45 OF MY PEERS APPLIED TOO IDK HOW I GOT THIS INTERNSHIP BUT FUCK MY LUCK IS GOOD I WON A DRINKING KIT/MIX LAST WEEK AT THIS FESTIVAL IM NOT EVEN 21 LOLOLOL my mom took it from me though (she was there :’( ) p.s. im 18 underage drinking is bad i don’t promote it.. it was a joke

So a summary of my overall life is : When I was little, I packed my life into two extremely large duffel bags and headed to the other side of the same city I have only been in when I was 6 to live with my mom as my dad was a crackhead…(All I remember at age 6 besides that is drawing very circular pumpkins for my Kindergarten homework). I have lived in this city for the last 10 years and probably will be for the next 8… kinda boring… i know. but… the details…

are not.

This blog will be a log of my day-to-day struggles, pretty notes, and what ever their can be lol.  To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know what it will be about because I haven’t experienced it yet. Well, I have… it’s just I’m too lazy to rewrite or remember them for your entertainment. But feel free to come back and reread what happens to me and my life…

That Life “KINDA HAPPENS” HAHA YOU PROBABLY GET IT NOW WHY I SAY THAT…

Ok, enough of that.

I WILL TRY TO KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET BECAUSE I REALIZE WE ALL HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF DOUG

(FROM “UP” YOU KNOW THE DOG THAT SAYS “SQUIRREL!”), BUT ONCE AGAIN NO GUARANTEES.  MAYBE YOU READ THIS BLOG ONCE, MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY SWITCHED TO READING BUZZFEED’S “14 THINGS ONLY PEOPLE WHO BREATH WILL UNDERSTAND,” OR MAYBE THIS BLOG WILL BECOME YOUR HOMEPAGE.  WHICHEVER PATH YOU TAKE IS FINE WITH ME, THIS BLOG WILL GIVE ME A GREAT RECORD OF MY LIFE WHILE PROVIDING ME A REASON TO HAVE AN ENTIRE FOLDER DEVOTED TO USELESS GIFS:

Like this one #relateable

p.s. I LOVE ITS ALWAYS SUNNY!!!!

(side note: whenever something is underlined it is a link, click on it, and click open….I realized many people don’t know this)

thx see you soon :) ,

Your protagonist or anti-hero or whatever cause I don’t pay attention in English class (Not that I learn much English in that class…),

-Christina

aka Ms. Life Kinda Happens

[lifekindahappens-blog]

welcome to my blog kinda happens

I AM PISSED I WROTE THIS WHOLE POST THEN MY BROWSER CLOSED ON ME SO I HAD TO START OVER FUCKKKKK

WELCOME TO MY BLOG, WEIRDOS…

IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU PROBABLY FIT INTO ONE OF 5 CATEGORIES:

1.     

I TRUST YOU ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU MY SECRET ANONYMOUS BLOG SO YOU CAN SEE ME WRITE ABOUT COLLEGE, OR WHAT I’M GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE.

2.     

YOU LOOKED UP “STUDYBLR” OR “DEPRESSION” TAGS AND ARE HOPING TO DISCOVER SOME GIRL THAT WENT OFF THE DEEP END AND THIS IS SOME BLOG ABOUT HOW I FOUND GOD OR JESUS IN A POTATO CHIP, ALL HAIL SPUD-GOD! (IF ONLY, AMIRIGHT?!)

3.     

YOU ARE PROCRASTINATING AND THIS CAME UP IN YOUR FEED

4.     

YOU ARE/WANNABE MY NEW INTERNET FRIEND (PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF YOU FALL UNDER THIS CATEGORY, I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE A NAME TO MY PARENTS SO THEY CAN FINALLY THINK I HAVE FRIENDS)

5.     

YOU FOUND MY PRETTY INSTAGRAM (OR SOON TO ME STUDYGRAM) AND ARE HOPING THERE WILL BE MORE IN THIS BLOG.  FULL DISCLOSURE: YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.  THANKS FOR READING THOUGH, BUT HOPEFULLY THIS WILL (OR WILL NOT) BETTER SUIT YOUR NEEDS.

Whatever category you fall in, thanks for reading! A bit about this blog or me as of today:

-I finished my first year as a pre-med Biochem student at a tier one university in the good old USA (despite Trump’s America lol) my gpa is around a 3.5 which some say is shit for pre-med, but as someone who is depressed as shit... I think it’s like frosted flakes

great! ha ha ha ha (im not funny omg why)

-I tried to kill myself a month ago and almost got sent to the big house psych ward/institute).... (yes, i will make a blog post about this someday...)

-I finished my first day of orientation at my internship!!! It’s not my first day as i’ve been there since January, but it’s my first “official” day as I just got approve last week haha... oh oh oh!! Forgot to say... I WON AN UMBRELLA (THE GOOD $30 KIND TOO) TODAY AND A T-SHIRT (that high end cotton blend too... ;) )

so important... ikr

But I am happy and feel somewhat lucky as I intern for one of the best research hospital labs in the nation.... so this blog will be my pretty studyblr notes and posts as I move on with my life as I transfer from my suicide attempt and intern at this lab to see if I’m interested in science research rather than medicine (which I am currently thinking about pursuing).  Let me clarify a few things in the past sentence/paragraph:

1.       I IN FACT DID NOT GET DISCOURAGED FROM BEING IN THE MEDICAL FIELD AT ALL AND MAKE UP SOME BULLSHIT EXCUSE LIKE “I NEED TO TAKE TIME TO FIND MYSELF.” I JUST WANT TO SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD TO MAKE SURE I DON’T LOVE *YES, LOVE* SOMETHING MORE THAN BEING A DOCTOR.... LIKE I KNOW ALREADY (plot twist: I don’t) but give me credit okkkk 2.      I AM NOT WORKING AT SOME RANDOM LAB BUT RATHER WORKING IN  A TOP LAB THAT OVER 45 OF MY PEERS APPLIED TOO  IDK HOW I GOT THIS INTERNSHIP BUT FUCK MY LUCK IS GOOD I WON A DRINKING KIT/MIX LAST WEEK AT THIS FESTIVAL IM NOT EVEN 21 LOLOLOL my mom took it from me though (she was there :’( ) p.s. im 18 underage drinking is bad i don’t promote it.. it was a joke

So a summary of my overall life is : When I was little, I packed my life into two extremely large duffel bags and headed to the other side of the same city I have only been in when I was 6 to live with my mom as my dad was a crackhead...(All I remember at age 6 besides that is drawing very circular pumpkins for my Kindergarten homework). I have lived in this city for the last 10 years and probably will be for the next 8… kinda boring... i know. but... the details...

are not.

This blog will be a log of my day-to-day struggles, pretty notes, and what ever their can be lol.  To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know what it will be about because I haven’t experienced it yet. Well, I have… it’s just I’m too lazy to rewrite or remember them for your entertainment. But feel free to come back and reread what happens to me and my life…

That Life “KINDA HAPPENS” HAHA YOU PROBABLY GET IT NOW WHY I SAY THAT…

Ok, enough of that.

 I WILL TRY TO KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET BECAUSE I REALIZE WE ALL HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF DOUG

 (FROM “UP” YOU KNOW THE DOG THAT SAYS “SQUIRREL!”), BUT ONCE AGAIN NO GUARANTEES.  MAYBE YOU READ THIS BLOG ONCE, MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY SWITCHED TO READING BUZZFEED’S “14 THINGS ONLY PEOPLE WHO BREATH WILL UNDERSTAND,” OR MAYBE THIS BLOG WILL BECOME YOUR HOMEPAGE.  WHICHEVER PATH YOU TAKE IS FINE WITH ME, THIS BLOG WILL GIVE ME A GREAT RECORD OF MY LIFE WHILE PROVIDING ME A REASON TO HAVE AN ENTIRE FOLDER DEVOTED TO USELESS GIFS:

 Like this one #relateable

p.s. I LOVE ITS ALWAYS SUNNY!!!!

(side note: whenever something is underlined it is a link, click on it, and click open....I realized many people don’t know this)

thx see you soon :) ,

Your protagonist or anti-hero or whatever cause I don’t pay attention in English class (Not that I learn much English in that class…),

-Christina

aka Ms. Life Kinda Happens

[mbrl]

a giant update!

 posted first here bc yolo

roadmap-

the stuff i bought from forever 21 today c:

other stuff i did today!

closing the chapter to january (the worst month i’ve had to deal with for awhile?)

things i look forward to in the future: march, april, may, summer.

oh my god i got really cute things from forever 21!! finally ordered a white/light grey windbreaker with swordfish pattern all over it for $20. also got white dolphin shorts (like dolphin style, not literal dolphins) with rainbow stripes on the side. and a dark-ish pink/blush off the shoulder dress with ties on the arm.. it’s kind of weird but was on sale for valentines day & idk how off the shoulder styles look on me... we’ll see ig! it’s really cute and flowy. and another dress, but maroon and long sleeve and floral, kind of in a baby doll fit. it’s lowkey mockneck so the reviews are like help i can’t fit my head through but .. hopefully it fits! there’s some really small lace parts on the sleeve :). and a white flowy vneck top with a bunch of pink flowers on it and a tie in the front. bell-ish sleeves with lace on the upper shoulders and parts of the back! oo and a light weight grey hoodie with kinda cheesy but still cool cool-toned floral embroidery on the hood. it’s p unique but the quality probably sucks and isn’t soft. lastly a peach mid-maxi skirt that has some sheer parts for the bottom half!! it’s like those ballet rehearsal skirts style. 

okay clearly i really like dresses and i think i’m going to start wearing more pink/color because i’m totally over winter in general and how drab that season is. honestly just light warm colors that kind of are reminiscent of furniture fabric/granny aesthetic is totally my vibe. like i want to look like i don’t give a fuck, but not in an emo way but more in a.... idk. i actually don’t know how to explicate my vibe but its like laid back and californian and whatever. hypebeast/grandma/passionate napper/hiker/couch appearance :) also i’m really happy to just sorta word dump and get my thoughts out again because they’re finally good vibes and i feel super excited to share it with my ... laptop screen & whoever’s reading! like getting outta funks is so nice and lowkey reminiscent of a few months ago when i finally got over this stupid boy

anyway okay. today i woke up at 9-10ish because i slept at 3am yesterday :( i felt really weird (ig you can describe as anxious) because of something i did, and i tried to do that thing where i imagined trump spouting all the self hate/angsty vibes i was telling myself, but i didn’t really purge the angst all that much. also i had taken a nap after school + drank boba the day before... (and 2 days before then i slept at 2 bc i had half a cup of green tea in the evening...) also i got angry at myself that i couldn’t sleep because it’s just annoying. it’s 12 am right now and i didn’t take any naps today but i’ll definitely be content & ready to sleep after i right this. so after i woke up, i spent like a few hours cleaning out my room-- i fixed the organization of my desk drawers so it could be more efficient and less cluttered. also the night before when i couldn’t sleep, i hung up all my clothes so that was nice. then in the early afternoon, i finished math hw (literally had 2 problems left, one of which i didn’t know how to do....) and did some japan bowl studying! i also started chatting hella people to ask for interest regarding a possible speaker event that intersections (my social justice club) is hosting... it’s about asian american health disparities, so i got 9 total clubs interested??? now i gotta email the presenter to update them but i’ll do that tomorrow. then from 3-5pm i had a really fun japan bowl meeting that was super untoxic and just productive. this year we have less frequent meetings, but i think we spend the biweekly meetings with... healthier vibes. it’s a lot more fun, and honestly no amount of shame expedites self-studying better than just having a safe and nice environment. we did some practice rounds & i knew the answers to some questions!!! it was fun. i’ll definitely be studying more ahahah this week’s meeting was kind of a throw away but it was good bonding? we also did reading practice.

then i went on tumblr/online shopped/youtubed for 2 hours or smtg..then finished bio hw (3 sections of notes!!!!) while watching gaming streams after eating dinner. then chilled and took a shower, went on tumblr some more, and here i am now! i feel like i didn’t do much but whatever. it’s okay to be leisurely and like.. i just have a worksheet for aplac and a few emails to write tmrw, and i guess that’s it? chill weekend.

okay queue the giant cbt paragraphs:

january was a giant mess mainly because of tasp application... it’s hard for me to take the experiences that i know are invaluable in building my character, and trying to relay that in a effective, understandable way. it made me feel secure because it was almost like i was selling myself/commodifying my experiences, but i was doing it in the course of a 3-4 weeks. it was annoying when i got the diction and syntax just how i wanted it, only for my editor to be like no this is weird. it’s weird to have someone who doesn’t know you try to word your experiences and push you into a template. thank god said editor actually got fired and isn’t my college counselor-- now i have this really tall and goofy friendly white guy (who majored in sociology so you can imagine he’s not the typical yt).

another thing was just friend stuff, but not in a way that points a finger specifically to anyone, it’s just... junior year will literally suck the life out of people and push them to extremes. for me, when i needed support from my friends, it’s not like i could receive it-- partly this is just normal though because normally i don’t confide in them anyway because my life is pretty easy anyway. most of the time/100% of the time i’m initiating the how-are-you type thing and listening to rants and giving advice or playing devil’s advocate or trying to empathize and validate. and when i needed someone to do that for me, i didn’t know how to ask for it? and my friends wouldn’t have the capacity to care for me bc i don’t think they actually know the background of my problems that well. i mean only i really know that and that’s fine bc it’s not really practical for other people to take the time to (1) understand and, (2) care... also it’s not worth it to me to expend the emotional labor explaining to someone. so this really isn’t to sound self sacrificing, it’s just that i consciously don’t expect my friends to be my therapist, but since i have amateur skills & pretty decent emotional intelligence, i’m glad to take that role for my friends. this just blows up in my face every once in awhile when my own problems resurface or smtg and i just turn inward and whatever. thank god it’s over!!! that was basically my january.

someone i kinda know also had something really egregious happen to them. and i can’t talk about it bc i’m making this post public bc i want a record of this on my studyblr blog. anyway i was alone in helping this person with the egregious thing because it’s not the kind of thing i can share (it’s not my story) and also sharing the information can force people to do things that ... wouldn’t be favorable. the stress from that time made me really upset for a few days and i was so angry that the egregious thing even happened, and i’m definitely not the person to get angry.

also had to get my physical for track from this gross pervert of a doctor who uses a stethoscope to touch breasts :\ and i felt really disgusting and gross and it happened and just yuck so cringe ijaijsf don’t wnat to talk about it

ugh okay another thing that i recently came to realize is that fat is really underrated in attractiveness because flab plausibly makes for super comfortable cuddling? basically other than in the context of a fatphobic society (and this isn’t to thin shame), there’s nothing definitively more beautiful about sharp angles or hard muscles compared to soft curves? someone i sit next to in a class wears hoodies and sweatpants almost everyday and they just look like a pillow/perfect big spoon. okay but at the same time food angst and body image stuff is lowkey resurfacing, but in a really lowkey way against myself :(. part of the reason why i got angry last night at myself was because i didn’t like how i drank boba at such a late time, and how i was basically on a sugar high at 2am. so i’m trying to limit my processed food intake as a means of control. i’m pretty safe from relapsing into fullblown AN but a lot of shame associated with certain foods is still there. also i still dislike my thighs and back flab and i didn’t run hard enough to be ready for track and i feel really out of shape :(

a few days ago i went volunteering and was utterly exhausted and not in the mood of being understanding. i don’t think i was being impatient, but i was being more curt than usual when working with somebody. i was really annoyed and dwelling on my irritation and letting it consume me. on the car ride home, i was thinking through all the reasons why i could be so pissy, so i had to think through all this angst and grossness in january. i was always hoping that i was just pmsing when i was feeling especially down during that month, but i think the stress made me skip that month :\ so idk where my period or pms went but goddamn ig i was just especially moody that month if hormones can’t explain it lol

during january, intersections was passed and that was such a big victory. but i didn’t really care about it. i honestly didn’t even want to do anything for it or hope that i’d go well. part of insecurity for me is that i doubt myself so much (sUBCONSCIOUSLY, which is especially annoying bc idk what i actually feel half the time) that i get frustrated easily.

but the stress of the summer app and distancing myself from the stressful things has allowed me to recover, and i’m really happy and my normal self (which i’m really happy about!!!) i’ve literally been writing for 40 min so i’m going to start doing lists for the remaining stuff i said i’d write about

things i look forward to!

feb: planning for intersections, week of break = cramming for jbowl, light school work load

march: starting my club, leadership conference i’m part of, almost time for jbowl

april: jbowl!, spring break, api healthcare disparities presentation?

may: giant speaker event with an alumnus possibly?

summer: lead a free program for low income students around where i live? there’s a lotta red tape and logistics that come with this one though... will be thinking about it for a long time.

okay i’m sleepy bye

[loveandra0314-blog]

Tweets!

All my tweets since August 29th, 2016

Currently renewing my unhealthy obsession with Harry Styles. Seniors- have a fun year knowing that all the people older than you in school get to sleep in on Mondays If it comes in rose gold, I own it Lol @ seniors who think they're the shit All of my stories start with "well first of all, bitch" I love myself. Thought you ought to know. When your roommate is THE SAME DISNEY PRINCESS AS YOU My mom keeps sending me pictures of her food Still in summer mode Drew some nice pics of myself getting electrocuted in math today I can literally find someone on the Internet in .002 secs with just a first name, but tell me to hand in my assignment online and I'll die LOOK AT THE LITTLE HEART #GreysAnatomy GREYS FOOTBALL AND HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT If you live tweet next weeks Criminal Minds season premiere, I'll report you for emotional abuse I have not lost my voice, my voice just doesn't like me so she moved out. I send my parents paragraphs and hundreds of pictures of school and I am repaid with one word sentences and blurry pictures of my dog. I come home to find that my parents literally did everything they could to conceal everything that has anything to do with me in my room ALSO MY BATHROOM SMELLS LIKE CLEANING FLUID AND I KNOW DAMN WELL IT SMELLED LIKE "sweet peony" WHEN I LEFT Anthony's favorite hobby is absolutely roasting people on the Hudl app MUZZ WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE ANTHONY THAT HE PEED ON THE COUCH On a scale from 1-10 of brokenness, I'm a $34.72. I'm really proud of myself because I finished 1/8 of an essay that's due on Thursday #overachiever Btw, Anthony replied to my hint with pictures of his papa I know it's the law... But could the train maybe not blow the whistle 6 times through a campus of sleep deprived college kids????? Spagetting to know you Julia and I are in bed watching a movie and wondering why it's so loud... ITS 8:00 PM But how the f is it October in like 2 days We're over here acting like its the damn ice age I've been coughing all over everyone and everything and IM A TERRIBLE ROOMMATE IM SO SORRY WTF "5 Crazy" I love you, SVU Women before us fought to have the right to vote - don't take that for granted #VOTE My bed is absolutely COVERED in pillows, blankets, wires, school supplies, clothes and Tide pods etc… This woman started vaping and then another woman told her to stop, and now they are full on screaming at each other. ON THE COMMUTER RAIL. Guys, this clown thing is REAL I'm having a hard enough time sleeping without all these inconsiderately loud people outside my building clown hunting The dangerous part about college is going back to your bed in between classes WORDS LITERALLY CANT DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM FOR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Belle is my Disney princess and Emma Watson is my all time favorite actress I'm crying Constantly waiting for the 12th of each month so I can have some data You can now get a life sentence for animal abuse. Justice. When your roommates make fun of you for complimenting an absolute FIRE selfie of yourself <<<< SUNDAY SHOPPING SPREE I fcking love candy corn You don't understand... our school and social lives have to fit around the voice and grey's. Sometimes my hand slips and I accidentally share something to my Facebook page We're gonna miss you #ThanksPapi It would be fun to me Harley Quinn for Halloween, but I refuse to be one of "those girls" Never be afraid to be yourself!! Happy National Coming Out Day everyone Julia and I have been watching Netflix in bed for 5 hours. COME BE OUR FRIENDS OMG Tmlt I fcking love Evan Peters and AHS Netflix for dayyyyyyzzzz May god bless you and may your eyebrows be forever on point Dear very high people in the hall, please talk even louder! And continue to walk around in your underwear! Please! I'm DYING. As soon as josh got home he immediately told everyone not to ask any questions about the dance My baby brother is almost 14 and he's like a foot taller than me and his voice is deeper than my dad's My little brother got a 30 yrd touchdown and 40 yrd run Mo and Julia are asleep and I'm just laying here laughing my ass off Literally the worst thing in the world is realizing you have a hole in your leggings Backless dresses are just so incredibly beautiful I love them The girls are asleep and I am laughing like a fcking psycho. What's new? Sorry that I retweet a lot, I just feel like sharing the things I find awesome or funny are worth making your day too I love reconnecting I have heart failure walking to class when I start to hear a longboarder behind me Cookies and Gilmore Girls with my babes It's 11:00 and we're trying to sleep pls enforce quiet hour or I will Julia and I suck at life so we put it on the internet. #relatable "Omg have you seen @JeffreeStar new black highlighter?" "Isn't that just a sharpie?" NO JULIA IT IS NOT A SHARPIE I love late night phone calls with my man Rewatching greys is my fave thing to do Meeting guy friends at college is easy until you bring up your boyfriend I told everyone in my kindergarten class that I was a boy. So, surprise everyone idk what that was about Life update: the heater in our room is making loud, evil noises. This started yesterday and has not stopped. This heater needs medical attention I am honestly concerned for this heater's health. She's clearly leaking or dying or something College is not being able to afford a stapler and the professor refusing to collect unstapled papers. Derek Shepherd has been setting unrealistic expectations since 2005. Feliz Dia de Los Muertes! I'm so excited for Beauty and the Beast I'm actually crying. Real tears. I'm seeing it MINIMUM 10 times in theaters "THIS MEAT IS SO RAW A GOOD VET COULD SAVE IT" Anthony wutttttttt No Makeup November JULIA AND I ARE CRYING (not happy tears) The sun rose this morning and it will rise tomorrow morning My dad has had a variation of the same car since 1995 "You are SO loud" "I just don't care" lol k Anthony Scooby doo I cried twice today, first because I watched the Beauty and the Beast trailer, the second time was when I re-watched the trailer. My dream job is when it's always Friday Also no makeup November is going swimmingly, I may never wear makeup everyday ever again All the bathrooms on my floor are being cleaned and I've been holding my pee for an hour and a half. Can I be someone's creepy older prom date this year? I had some real good coffee this morning and I feel absolutely fantastic, this may be a new me Anthony is snapchatting me live from his room where his roommate is keeping him captive and asking deep questions about life College is being awake at 11pm which is just enough time to squeeze in a few more episodes of greys before 12 COLLEGE IS BEING AWAKE AT 12:30am BUT THERES ONLY ONE MORE EPISODE IN THE SEASON Hobbies include: coughing loudly and rudely when I pass people who are smoking When I'm actively trying to not laugh my ass off at stupid stuff because roommate Just a reminder to be careful and safe this holiday season I want a pretty case because the life proof one is too much but I can't afford a new phone sooo.... TMI: I threw up all over a bathroom stall today. I warned you. My professor shaded me in front of the whole class. I don't have room for embarrassment because I high key gained so much respect. Savagery Hahaha at least my eyebrows are fleeky The weather today is less than ideal. Julia made a tinder and then promptly deleted it when she saw an attractive man. THIS IS WHY. THIS IS WHY. True friends snapchat from across the room If the wifi would stay connected, I wouldn't run out of data every month The temperature was in the single digits today and I honestly don't know how I've ever been able to live like this for so long There is a full on absolutely raging party down the hall from my room. 24 hour quiet hours what College made me addicted to tums Sleep is great, but have you ever watched Netflix? Prof almost made us stay past the two hours like... fuck you thought?? Oh annnnnnd I woke my ass up at 7:00 this morning to get a waffle AND THEY HADNT PUT THE STATION OUT YET Why does my brother constantly ask what we got him for xmas?? Like we're not telling you and if we did your xmas would be ruined Trying to save up...but Sephora I can't even put into words how sad I am about Carrie Fishers passing. Rest In Peace. Someone get me on the slopes Can't stop won't stop crying at the Beauty and the Beast trailer. What did I do to deserve this Every time I lose a snapchat streak, I die a little on the inside I'm such a daddy's girl tbh Setting that 4 am alarm is absolutely killer Hey at least the Cubs won the World Series in 2016 Thought about making a resolution to go to the gym and eat green stuff, but I'm just gonna do me, eat cookies and walk occasionally Tmlt- moral: be happy, and do what makes you happy I really just slept until 5pm Traveling through Hoth in my damn Jetta was fun I should have just skied home from work smh These are the days that I wish my dad's Outback was automatic. Smh I share a bathroom w two teenage boys. There is a pile of underwear in the corner that grows +2 every day.