#idk hopefully i die under mysterious circumstances overnight | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-casbah-way · 2 years ago

Text

the worst breakdown of my entire life has been impending for the past two weeks and i sense it is finally arriving so if i don’t reply to fic comments please don’t give up on me and send out a powerful deity to put a curse on my home or whatever i promise i’m trying . i will keep writing the fic hopefully tonight if i can fix myself by then and i will update it as soon as i can pretend to be sane again which i hope will only take a couple of days sorry

#writing octavius is fun and therapeutic. being someone who actually thinks and lives the way he does is decidedly not fun.#i need help but i have no idea who to ask or what to ask for. i don’t know what i need other than a lobotomy/someone to cook for me #idk how to let myself be nice or experience nice things or just relax for like 2 seconds without being overwhelmed with guilt #i can’t let myself eat or sleep because i haven’t earned it but i don’t even know what that means idk what my brain is asking of me #i hate being awake i am so miserable and i’m so lonely but i can’t go out and idk how to talk to anyone #i think the three people who like me will get sick of me soon bc i just. i can’t Exist i can’t be a good friend bc i’m not there #idk hopefully i die under mysterious circumstances overnight

10 notes · View notes