#idk focusing on the logistics makes this easier lol
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chinzhilla · 1 year ago
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i’m not convinced tian was actually responsible for torfun’s death given what they’ve shown of that night. not that that would completely absolve him because he still fully intended on going street racing but i’m more intrigued than ever about what the truth is
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baodurs · 3 years ago
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i want someone besides me and the 2 friends who know all the lore to meet my detective, but i’m too impatient to let you get to know her via fic so i filled out this questionnaire instead. she is veronica and she is so important, here is some stuff about her if you are interested :’)
QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE
Name: veronica langford
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: bi
Love interest: adam
Best friend: morgan
Main skill: science/technology
Secondary skill: combat/physical
Main personality trait: impulsive
Secondary personality trait: sarcastic
Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: best use of her science skills
Relationship with Rebecca: not great
Relationship with Bobby: ex, finds it hard to be around him
Verda or Tina?: both! but she’s on verda’s branch
Murphy bite?: wrist
Murphy's fate?: captured
Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja
GENERAL
Name: veronica “it’s been 3 years and i never gave her a middle name” langford
Nickname: just veronica. people around wayhaven called her ronny growing up, and a few still do despite her trying to grow out of it. maybe a few people from college and sometimes tina call her v or vee or something.
Birthday: please you all know i am so scared of concrete dates
Age: 26
Pronouns: she/her
Sexuality: bi
Hair color: brown
Eye color: dark brown
Height: 5′10 (178 cm)
Piercings: just one in each ear
Tattoos: something retro sci-fi on her shoulder. not a reference to anything specific, but like a little planetary landscape with a UFO in the background or something.
Clothing Style: casual. lots of tank tops and muscle tees (weather- and occasion-permitting), concert t-shirts, warm colors. flannels and leather jackets. jeans, sneakers, combat boots. think like rocker chick vibes, but cozier and more colorful.
Apartment Style: basic. she really did not plan on living there long and kept putting off decorating because it’d be a waste if she was just going to move out. this rationalization went on so long but since the end of book 1 she has slowly bought a few things to push it towards “cozy,” still pretty sparse though.
STATS
Personality:
Charming | Intimidating
Impulsive | Cautious
Sarcastic | Genuine
Friendly | Stoic
Easygoing | Stubborn
Traits:
Heart | Mind
Optimist | Pessimist
Team Player | Independent
Skills:
Main Skill: science/technology (but mostly science)
Second Skill: combat/physical
By the Book | Bend the Rules
KEY DECISIONS
Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: best use of her science skills
Murphy bite:  Wrist | Neck | None
Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped
Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP
Love Interest: adam
Why them?: for veronica it’s kind of retroactive. the way i imagine their True Canon, they don’t have any real romantic moments in book 1, so she doesn’t seriously consider that adam might have feelings for her until well into book 2. (the training scene is when she’s like “oh. ok. i get it now.”) even then it takes a few more chapters for her to really process that, figure out how she feels, and recontextualize everything. like realizing that he loves her and then thinking back on their relationship, knowing that, makes her feel so held (sorry i have no better way to say it) in a way that just makes her want to cry.
to give some actual specific reasons, it’s his dedication and his constancy and hidden care/softness. and his very specific brand of... selflessness might be just left of the word i’m looking for, but hopefully you get me.
Bold, shy, or mixed?: neither! in theory it’s closer to bold, but it’s more just earnest.
What were their first impressions of each other?: disastrous. on top of finding him condescending and unpleasant, there are also a few moments where veronica genuinely wonders whether he’s even a good person. or, like, cares about people. but once she learns the truth of things, a lot of her initial anger gets transferred to rebecca.
adam, with the benefit of knowing what’s actually happening, has a slightly more favorable impression of veronica. yes he thinks she’s difficult and reckless and too emotionally driven, yes she’s making his job absolutely miserable, but he does begrudgingly respect that her accusations are always on the right track and she’s good at her job.
What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:
for veronica: she loooves his sense of humor. and how much faith he has in the people he cares about. physically, dimples <3. but everything about his smile really. and his nose!
for adam: veronica has a very blunt, unadorned sense of kindness to her that he really loves. the way she is kind before she is nice and values directness. physically, her eyes, they’re deep brown and so expressive.
What do they do to spend time together?: they’re both competitive so anything where they can compete on the same team is fun. (competing against each other is fun too, but also like. exhausting. for them and everyone.) maybe puzzles or other things where it feels like they’re “winning” or solving something together. i have spent an embarrassing amount of thought on veronica and overw*tch esp*rts and she would absolutely make adam learn how to play main tank so they could queue as a tank duo. but most of the time i think they don’t Do specific things together; they just hang out. just talk with each other. perhaps snuggle.
What is their favorite memory together?: in current canon... lol. veronica really just treasures any time adam relaxes around her but those moments always get Ruined. even once they’re well into a relationship, i think veronica’s favorite memory would still be something small like a random time he said something funny and they both laughed together and they were outside and the sky was pretty.
What are their love languages?: acts of service for both of them, but especially adam. veronica... probably lots of words of affirmation and physical touch. they’re both bad at blocking out time for themselves in the first place, so quality time can get neglected especially at first.
How do they handle being apart from one another?: pretty well i think! once they’re in an established relationship at least, before that it’s probably harder. but adam can distract himself with work, and veronica is good at focusing on whatever’s in front of her (whether that’s work or she’s away on vacation or something). if neither of them is too busy, veronica calls every night and they stay on a while, half talking and half just keeping each other company.
Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: i think arguments are fairly rare! yes they’re both insanely stubborn, but they also understand each other pretty well (especially once in a relationship) and are very sympathetic to where the other is coming from. unless both of them are extremely stressed, one of them crumbles when they start genuinely arguing like "i don't want to fight ok, let's take a second."
What does their future look like?: who knows! i haven’t decided whether veronica will turn. i think she probably will, just because i do not want my main pairing for this IF to make me very sad all the time, but like. i’m not fully committing until i see a reason pop up in canon. as of book 3′s final demo, it’s not on her radar at all; she knows she loves adam and wishes they could Talk, but ultimately doesn’t expect or even want a relationship right now (because she doesn’t want to deal with dating one of rebecca’s agents OR with the logistics of being in a committed relationship with an immortal being). it’s just all so foreign to her current state of mind that it’s really hard to say!
Anything else you'd like to share: do you know how hard it was to answer some of these considering veronica wasn’t sure they were even, like, on decent terms for such a large portion of the canon content
BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP
Best friend: morgan and farah are essentially joint besties but i’ll go with M
Why them?: i think they appreciate each other’s no bullshit attitude. morgan likes that veronica doesn’t take herself too seriously and respects/relates to the way she tackles problems (quickly, head-on, and without complaint but also without pretending that it doesn’t suck?). veronica appreciates morgan’s bluntness, likes bantering with her, and in general just likes being around people that have quiet/steady presences.
What were their first impressions of each other?: neither of them had much of a first impression honestly. morgan barely thought of veronica at all beyond “she’s annoying,” and kept to herself so much that any dislike veronica had of morgan took a backseat to her dealing with the rest of unit bravo.
What do they do to spend time together?: lots of just sitting in the same room and listening to (low volume) music, veronica spends a lot of time hunting for songs morgan might like. morgan is also her go-to sparring/training buddy. and there are semi-frequent movie nights where veronica shows farah her favorite old shitty B movies, and sometimes morgan will tag along just to sit in the room with them or affectionately talk shit.
Anything else you'd like to share: i’ll talk a little about N! obviously veronica and nate respect, trust, and like each other, but she finds him the hardest of UB to connect with. they’re both people who wear their compassion on their sleeves but keep a lot of their hearts/themselves held back, so they just kind of circle each other, especially since like... nate values politeness and is very sweet in how he relates to people, while veronica values directness and is more jokey/lighthearted to put people at ease. idk how well i’m communicating this; as of the book 3 demo it’s getting easier, but their friendship is still newer/more... nebulous? than the others.
OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)
Relationship with Rebecca: so strained. veronica has come to terms with rebecca’s absences throughout her childhood, but there’s newer resentment over... a lot of things, but how she handled the murphy case especially. veronica hates being kept in the dark, and even more than that she hates being rebecca’s priority. it’s difficult to reconcile her childhood and present images of rebecca, and she’s angry that rebecca is so freely and recklessly choosing her, now, to the point of endangering others if she has to, especially when she never felt like rebecca’s choice before. and incredibly frustrated/confused by how often the lines between their professional and familial relationships are blurred and what rebecca actually wants from her.
Relationship with Rook: veronica takes after rook a lot. in stat terms, the only trait they don’t share is stoic, and even then that’s veronica’s least extreme stat. people always told her how like her father she was growing up, and it’s a comparison she took/takes a lot of pride in! she looks up to him based on the stories, but more recently is uncomfortable with the comparisons. veronica would never have even come back to wayhaven if her life panned out as planned, let alone become a detective or joined the agency. that makes her doubt herself, and she feels like that doubt is letting rook down somehow.
rook is also part of the reason her relationship with rebecca isn’t as bad as it could be. she knows that rook loved her, and that he would want his family to be there for each other, so she feels obligated to at least try to make things better. but it’s really hard for her to move past everything to connect with rebecca (which also makes her feel like she’s disappointing rook).
Relationship with Bobby: they were together for a long time and veronica thought she loved him a lot! it was her first relationship, so she wasn’t sure a) what a “bad partner” looked like, or b) how to even be in a relationship or rely on someone in that way. so they spent a lot of time together and had great superficial chemistry, but veronica didn’t have enough experience with not feeling neglected to realize how shallow it was, or notice the red flags when she did occasionally open up. the plagiarism fiasco was a slap in the face, especially because it cost her internships/grad school apps/whatever, i don’t have the details, and forced her to move back to wayhaven after school. she’s still very hurt by it and finds it hard to be around bobby.
Relationship with Verda: due to the above plagiarism fiasco, veronica was pretty depressed when she moved back home, and disliking her job didn’t help. she was extremely jealous when verda was hired and wanted to hate him. but it did not take long for that to crumble into respect/admiration, and eventually into close friendship! verda is a role model for her; they bond over science; they joke easily and have good chill fun. she was really excited to see him piecing together the truth about the supernatural and then devastated to see how he reacted. she feels insanely guilty and thinks it was selfish of her to let him figure it out, but is also cautiously optimistic about making it up to him as of the book 3 demo.
Relationship with Tina: very close! veronica isolated herself when she came back to wayhaven after school, and she is so grateful to tina for being her closest friend and link to the rest of the world during that time. hates keeping the supernatural from her, though. she didn’t like lying to tina to begin with, but she feels even worse about it now that verda knows, and now that tina has clearly picked up on something being wrong but she still can’t say anything.
Relationship with the Mayor: cannot stand him. hates the way he talks about rook, hates the way he talks to rebecca. she cooperates as necessary but doesn’t bother hiding her lack of patience/respect for him.
Relationship with Capt. Sung: basically fine. i think veronica might be a little too casual for him in the way she works, but she always gets the job done so he’s not too bothered by it. (she is ‘bend the rules,’ but more ‘strict rules aren’t important as long as you’re still doing good work’ than the ‘boooo fuck paperwork’ variety. so it’s mostly fine.) she also appreciates him as a minor link to rook.
Relationship with Haley: very friendly, but not super close. they get along great and could make pleasant conversation for hours, but ultimately don’t know each other super well despite the familiarity of growing up together.
Relationship with Elidor: such a comforting presence for veronica during her recovery! she is so grateful, so fond.
Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: veronica loves vieno’s cranky-yet-friendly vibe and they get along well! not close, but will stop to chat whenever they pass each other.
Relationship with Unit Alpha: loves their energy. always looks forward to the next opportunity to chat with them, and fully supports any harmless dunking on UB even if she rarely joins in.
Relationship with the Maa-alused: going through the house of mirrors and then coming home for them to appear in her apartment and infect bobby was one of thee worst experiences of her life, and it’s hard for her to get past that + the illness in general. sympathizes with them, and got them to sign the treaty, but is still kind of unsettled by everything that happened and by falk.
Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): some vague figures i have in mind but no one i’ve really developed. a couple friends from college, and maybe an elderly couple that lives on her childhood street and used to check in her.
PERSONAL BIO
Describe their personality: her usual demeanor is very warm and casual. sincere but private--she’s pretty blunt and likes to be direct with people, but steers conversations away from personal topics. likes to joke around and doesn’t take herself that seriously. but behind all this, she’s extremely stubborn and won’t shy away from conflict if she thinks you’re in the wrong (which is why she seems like a different person in the first half of book 1. UB is surprised by how like... chill and nice she is once they clear the air). a workaholic, self-reliant and secure but still pretty hard on herself, takes a lot of responsibility for the people around her.
Strengths: so dedicated. honest and trustworthy, has a strong moral compass and can always be counted on to do her absolute best. flexible and intuitive, her brain works really fast.
Weaknesses: cannot compartmentalize or separate herself from a case, throws herself so recklessly into everything (in terms of both physical danger and emotional burnout). doesn’t necessarily hold grudges but has a hard time letting go of hurt, still can’t think objectively about bobby or rebecca.
Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: somewhere on the US east coast idk what to tell you. perhaps a carolina or a virginia.
What is their personal history?: veronica was pretty social and well-liked around wayhaven growing up. she was known as just a really good kid; she was an overachiever and got along with almost anyone. in college, she felt like she was free of something and took a very work hard/play hard approach to life. always doing or going, whether it was for school or work or fun. she really enjoyed life during this time but crashed and burned pretty hard when she and bobby broke up; a lot of her plans were delayed until the plagiarism incident was resolved and she didn’t really have the heart to pursue them afterwards.
a year or so after graduating, she returned to wayhaven with the intention of taking one more year to regroup, and she has been stuck there longer than she meant to be and has kind of hit a wall when book 1 starts.
If they weren't a detective, what would their dream job be?: she was on track to become a biochemist and it was her dream job but then the main plot happened to her.
Anything else you'd like to share: i don’t really know enough to fully explain this, but no OC i love is a cop so like. i think maybe the job she took when she got back to wayhaven was a douglas-esque receptionist role for detective reele’s private office. then reele retired and small town politics + veronica’s history of useful contributions to cases in her downtime at work led to her being pressured to take up the mantle. it’s hard to explain why she’s a detective when she so deeply does not want to be one but i am Trying (or maybe she would have jumped at the chance to do something marginally closer to forensics?? who knows)
RANDOM FACTS
Zodiac sign: aries is what i assigned her when i first made her and i think it suits her! plus it’d be fun for her and M to be twins. this goes hand-in-hand with my birthday commitment issues though
Hobbies: music (she plays guitar and bass and sings a little), running, gaming unfortunately. i could also see her having been into boxing or some martial art but idk what exactly!
Likes: early morning stillness, DIY projects, t-shirts with inexplicable slogans and other weird thrift store finds
Dislikes: overly sweet food or drink, when cold weather lasts too long, being lied to or “protected” from the truth
Drink of choice: something with gin maybe. also feels a great fondness and gratitude for cheap wine.
Starbucks order: i truly know nothing about coffee. is it weird to order black coffee at starbucks
Favorite food: variations on spicy chicken soup! she eats a lot of crockpot meals for convenience and they’ve grown on her, and she has a few different recipes based on whatever she has on hand.
Favorite color: maybe like a rusty orange
Favorite music: she will listen to anything, but her favorite is probably folk rock, or sometimes stuff with soul or old school country vibes. big thief is a good example of an artist she’d be into i think! also was very into the indie music scene in her college town and still follows some of those bands.
Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): loves old, campy, unselfconsciously optimistic sci-fi. loves star trek tos. also a fan of documentaries of all kinds.
Favorite season: summer
Anything else you'd like to share: a kiss for you reading this mwah
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flying-elliska · 4 years ago
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Seeing that post, I am actually curious, how do you go about writing a fight scene? How difficult is it to visualize everything that is necessary to paint the action effectively?
Anon ! Thank you for this great question which will allow me to procrastinate writing said fight scene for at least five minutes instead of setting my computer on fire :
For me, like most of my writing, it starts with the characters + the emotional dynamic of the scene. What is happening between them ? What emotional process do I want to convey ? And so when I imagine/brainstorm the story in my head, I often have ideas for action that are centered around emotion. It’s a lot like a stage choreography - the beats should illustrate the story.
For instance : the fight between Lucas and Thorston, it’s sort of a theatrical performance ; Lucas wants to prove himself to the Vallès people, so it’s a sort of demonstration. So it’s very staged - one opponent makes a move, then another. A lot of the time when writing action scenes the first thing I have in mind is the dialogue and the character interactions - and the setting that will fit - the rest comes later. It starts with this training sequence where I show that Thorston is a bully asking Eliott to hurt himself. The general concept is that Lucas is a knight ‘jousting for the honor of his ‘lady’ (Eliott) who has been slighted, bc the chapter has these allusions to knighthood. But he’s also an underdog so I wanted his final victory to come as a surprise - so at first it starts like an unequal fight and then Eliott realises Lucas has been hitting all these strategic spots and Thorston crumbles - this is an illustration of ‘brain over brawn’ (also very inspired by the ‘five finger death punch’ in Kill Bill) - Lucas is physically smaller/shorter than most of his opponents and he compensates by being extremely smart and quick . The end goal is a feeling of satisfaction due to this reversal + Lucas proving himself + then Eliott makes his speech which shows he has a ‘hold’ over Lucas + there is this whole thing where Vallès has orchestrated this on purpose to get rid of Thorston for being a nuisance.
The catacomb fight sequence, on the other hand, is very chaotic, it’s in the dark, through Eliott POV and he is terrified, and out of his depth, but at the same, he also trusts Lucas so a lot of that sequence is him trying to figure out where Lucas is and following his guidance. It’s a bit of a trust fall - this whole bit is them really being together outside of the prison for the first time, and the overarching emotional aspect is that, right away, they fall into this sort of ‘battle intimacy’ where they have to immediately trust each other and they find that they actually really work well together. It also being mostly in the dark pushes them to rely on touch and hearing, which adds another interesting layer of closeness. Meanwhile, Nikolai Magnusson, is like this terrifying assassin figure that stalks them in the dark, so there is a very ‘primal fear’ aspect, they’re under the ground surrounded by dead people, I wanted it to have a bit of a horror movie vibe, so there is a moment where Eliott shoots him and thinks he’s down but then surprise, he’s not and he goes for them again and it’s this ‘oh my gooooood the serial killer is actually behind me!!!!’ moment and they run away without really knowing if he is dead or not, which adds to the lingering threat and atmosphere of pressure.
So then when I actually sit down to write, I have this general idea about a vibe and some ‘high moments’ I want to put in ; I know the purpose I want the scene to serve, the starting and end points. Now I need to figure out how to get from A to B to C, which is A LOT HARDER. A few things to consider : the characters’ abilities, the weapons they have at their dispositions, the constraints (are they wounded ? in the dark ? restrained ? are there any rules or is it a free for all ?) the environment (anything dangerous ? they can use ? a time constraint ? a bomb ? somebody to protect ? etc) and again, the character’s psychology and emotions (are they angry ? scared ? determined ? too arrogant ? etc). I basically put myself in the mind of the POV character and imagine what I would think and try to do if I was actually living the scene, focusing on the practical details. I honestly don’t write a lot of intricate fight choreography because this is just not my forte and i don’t really have the knowledge. Mostly I think about what would be cool and how to fit it in, and what the character NEEDS to do
For instance, Eliott doesn’t have a lot of fight experience, so when he actually wins a confrontation, it’s often due to the surprise effect - he has a very fierce streak under pressure - but I can’t put him in drawn out fights (yet). He also has a tendency to be overwhelmed and to get into his own head, which is like, very normal for a person without training. Lucas is different - the dude is supposed to be lethal and a bit of a legend so I have a bit more leeway when it comes to him doing crazy shit that shouldn’t be possible (lol) but again, his MO is to be smart about fights so I have to think ok what funky trick is he going to pull this time. What would make him look the most badass. Really, Lucas is all about the power of surprise, because again, his adversaries almost always underestimate him (or they don’t even see him coming). He’s like a stoat, small and uncommonly vicious. (look up ‘stoat dance of death’ if you don’t know what I mean lol) or like a blackfooted wildcat (which is called ‘adorable remorseless killing machine’ and is the smallest and deadliest wild cat) so it’s a theme that you can be very small and also very ferocious, and yes, i have been on a stupid animal documentary binge lately (animal fight club !! so fcking stupid). anyway, there is often a ‘what the fuck’ moment when he fights and also use of distraction. But it depends on context - again in the aforementioned fight with Thorston he is very elegant and precise because he’s showing off - but he started as a street fighter, ; using everything he has at his disposal, being ressourceful/inventive, ruthless, efficient, etc. Like in krav maga ‘use a pen as a weapon’ etc. He’s also very very attentive to his surroundings, alert to see if there is anything he could use, and he tries to analyse the moves of his opponents. (credit to the 2 krav maga lessons i took in my life lol). And then there is Daphné who we haven’t really seen fight yet, but she’s an acrobat, so that would come into account, etc.
I also have to do a lot of back and forth because what often happens is I get an idea for a solution (really a fight scene is a series of problems to set up and solve) so I have to go back in the story and make sure they have their guns/whatever they need for the scene and that there is proper foreshadowing. It’s often the logistics that drive me a little crazy because I get to a point and I’m like...okay and how would they do the thing I need them to do ? And you always have to have this back and forth between the perspective of your POV character and their enemy because you don’t want either of them to be purely reactive or to act stupid just because it’s easier (i mean, if they’re not supposed to be stupid)
I read this good writing advice idk where that said, basically, in action scenes, the more details you have, the more it feels important. So like, when the characters are just trading blows, it’s ok if you’re not super precise. However when things change - like the balance of power shifts, there is an upset, something that carries character significance, etc - it’s good to be more descriptive  -it’s like the writerly equivalent of slow mo when everybody is holding their breath. I mean, it’s good to have a general idea in your mind of where everybody is and how they react but it’s not like a movie, it’s ok if you don’t have a super precise beat by beat rendering in your head. At the same time, a fight scene is not the time for super introspective character beats, you have to kind of transcribe the fact that everything happens super fast and there is this sense of complete focus on the action and so you don’t want too many distractions where you pause to describe the scenery, etc etc.
So yeah idk I’m still trying to figure it out I guess ^^ because honestly I still feel like action scenes are some of the most difficult things to write, making everything make sense is hard !!!! hope this made some sense tho and was a bit interesting.
ok now i’m back to the story ^^ have a nice day/night anon ! <3
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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago
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February 8: Mountain Lion Mean Notes
Okay, so I was writing up notes on my Troped Western fic and then I clicked something and it all disappeared! I’m very upset and I hate the idea of starting again but like... I guess that’s what I gotta do :/
Mountain Lion Mean on AO3.
Written for @troped-fanfic-challenge​
So as I said in my notes, I watched Hell or High Water on the Sunday the trope document opened and immediately became obsessed, and that was my main inspiration. I saw it and loved it and, like with most things I love, my first thought was how can I do this too?? I didn’t want to do a straight AU of it, because it’s just too good and I don’t want to mess with that kind of perfection, but I knew I wanted a similar mood. I also figured pretty early on that I would try to include a bank robbery.
For the first days after the trope doc opened, I mostly just gathered inspiration and tried to think Western thoughts. In addition to HOHW, my inspiration included:
The Western episode of Charmed
A Western Rock playlist I found on Spotify
This post of southwestern gothic aesthetics
“Ranch Girl” by Maile Meloy (also the inspiration for it is new moon and twilight, which, fun fact, was originally going to be a Western; I didn’t re-read the story but it’s been haunting me since I first read it c. 2001 and is probably a partial inspiration for everything I write)
William Faulkner (especially “A Rose for Emily” and A Light in August) for the “town POV” narration
Sigrid Undset for the floating third-person-POV
The wikipedia article on Westerns, for succinct summaries of the themes of Westerns
The original aesthetic, quoted from my notes: “The vastness of the west, the frontier, a little uncivilized, a little dangerous, tough looking men who don’t talk much, extrajudicial justice, the heat and the desert…“
By the time I sat down to brainstorm, I had a few ideas and a few images already in mind. I wanted to include a bank robbery. I liked the idea of Clarke as a gunslinger and/or purveyor of vigilante justice. I thought I might use Gina as a bartender (this was during the half-moment I thought I might write a Bartender Mechanic fic; obviously neither of these things happened). And I liked the idea of including Murphy as some kinda criminal or unsavory type. The image of Bellamy as a taciturn cowboy came fairly early too.
I was a little uncertain at first if I wanted to do an 1800s western or a neo-western, mostly because I felt like the tropes I was attracted to and the images in my head fit better in the 1800s. But ultimately I settled on neo-western pretty fast, because I thought the imagery and themes would work better in the modern day. Plus I just thought it would be easier tbqh.
My first concern was to not just re-write a shittier HOHW. I was really caught up in the logistics of the bank robbery; including too much of that would necessarily make it a copy of the film, so I tried to keep just the bare bones of the robbery + the general justification (saving the family land). Then I added additional portions of the scheme--not too difficult since I knew I wanted Gunslinger/Vigilante Clarke in there, and I needed some way to show that she takes Justice into her own hands--and additional characters. Again, most notably Clarke, but also Raven and Octavia. The characters have their own backgrounds, personalities, relationships, and motivations, all of which make the story more mine imo. I’m satisfied with the balance of Obvious HOHW Influences and original content.
At some point, I described it to my mom as “Bellamy is Toby, Murphy is Tanner, and Clarke is canon Clarke but in the modern West.” Which I still think is accurate.
Including Clarke, though, and privileging the various relationships among the trio of Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy, made me feel like I was making an it is new moon and twilight knock off except with Clarke for Raven. I still kind of see it, tbh, in the sense that twilight was itself supposed to be a western--I think it would be fair to say that Mountain Lion Mean IS the fic I set out to write in February 2020--and in the sense that I could have written a different story in the same universe as Mountain Lion Mean that explored the Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy relationships in a way that is similar to twilight. As is, a lot of that is unsaid and unseen. The two fics have different focuses, so it’s probably only apparent to me just how similar they are. Just like, to me, Mad Women and The Wanheda Tape are the same story even though they have very different aesthetics and plots.
Some excerpts from my notes that I think are fun:
I really want to work with the themes (haha themes) of frontier justice and also the sense that the west is infinite but also small, that nature is hard and impossible to wrangle but that the opportunities are narrow and it’s easy to get trapped in it, the melancholy nature of it, the dichotomy of nature (huge, powerful) versus man (small, struggling against nature and against man). Or some such. Or Murphy just robs banks.
Bellamy owns a struggling ranch. Clarke is a gunslinger (don’t really know if I can use this trope in the current day but possibly?) who doesn’t trust the law. Has a conceal[ed]-carry permit. Is the best shot in three counties. Murphy’s been in and out of prison most of his adult life, mostly for crimes like robbery and assault.
How do they know each other? Possibilities: Murphy knows Bellamy through Octavia (idk why…but I do feel like O should appear, riding a horse) (background Octaven? Just a thought), Bellarke are exes, Murphy used to work on the ranch. Clarke has killed someone (someone Bad) and gotten away with it.
I do like the focus being on these three characters, who have a long history but aren’t currently close, coming together for a mission (to rob a bank) for the benefit of one who is struggling (Bellamy) even thought this is an awful lot like both Hell or High Water and it is new moon and twilight lmao.
I like that mood from HOHW where actually Toby was the most dangerous, and the smartest, and he won—the idea that Bellamy is the taciturn cowboy who’s not good at sharing his feelings but he’s also the mastermind in the end. Is that the twist? You get the impression Vigilante Gunslinger Griffin and Actual Ex-Con Murphy are planning something, but then it turns out to be Bellamy who executes the plan? [Not quite how it turned out lol in that I think it’s decently obvious that Bellamy was a major part of it the whole time but I did try to get some of this in with Octavia in the final scene--to really drive home Bellamy’s importance, as the ring leader, since otherwise one could ask, what does he even do?]
Midway through the planning process I came up with some more images to work from:
B and C out at dusk on the ranch, she’s shooting can, a bit of UST perhaps
M shows up at the bar and there’s an awkward silent entrance—perhaps he’s just out of prison
Murphy or Clarke guns akimbo [I picked Clarke to emphasize that she’s the gunslinger, but I had Murphy shoot out the security cameras to show that they were using his robbery experience]
Bellamy being silent and awkward
At this point, it was just about putting all the pieces together. That’s how I tend to plan Troped fics: I lay out all the pieces I need or want to include and then I figure out the shortest and most efficient distances between them. For example, I knew I needed a bank robbery and for Clarke to administer some vigilante justice--so I use that justice as a way to launder the money. They fake a will for her victim and “give” the money to themselves.
I did worry, and still worry, about the timeline re: the Bellarke marriage and the will because I’m quite sure it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work. But it also... it doesn’t keep me up at night because the whole point is that it’s a scam!! Worrying about legality in a scam is sorta... lol. What I mean specifically is that I wanted it to be clear that Clarke does not kill Kane FOR this scheme. They use something she already did to their advantage. So she and Bellamy can’t be married at the time Kane is killed. That implies the murder was pre-meditated for the bank robbing purpose. But I’m also fairly sure (and I should know this because I took T&E but like...honestly can’t remember) that the people in the will are counted at the time of death, not the time of probate, or you could like... adopt extra kids or marry or divorce someone to affect the will. Plus all that stuff about simultaneous death etc. etc. Also, on a practical level, if Clarke wasn’t married, Kane wouldn’t have an obvious reason to write her spouse into the will. But I get away with this in my head by saying, first, no one’s going to say the husband that’s standing right there doesn’t count as a husband--the law is the law but it’s implemented by people and they fudge corners all the time. They do what seems to make sense even if you’d lose points for it on a law school exam. And second, the will could have been written with the assumption or hope that Clare would marry. Possibly even, though I don’t say this in the fic exactly, on the condition of marriage--Clarke gets 100% to share 50-50 with her husband if she’s married, 0% if she’s not. Doesn’t really matter. It’s supposed to read as outwardly clever and create Mystery and play with the Exes Aesthetic even if it doesn’t hold up the strictest scrutiny. (JDs don’t @ me.)
I justified including the marriage as a necessity because Kane could possibly leave money to Clarke’s husband but he wouldn’t leave money to some rando. I do stand by that part.
I also decided at some point that I wanted to include Background Octaven but be really subtle about it so it was something else the reader would have to piece together: that Raven has a girlfriend, then that Octavia has a girlfriend but, hey, isn’t Raven a bartender?--and then it comes together in the last scene as we see that their relationship was factored into Bellamy’s plan all along: some of the loot goes directly to Octavia and her partner, officially as payment for Raven’s services, unofficially because Bellamy wants to give O a gift. Anyway. Either it was too obvious or too subtle/boring because no one mentioned it but I thought it was cool lol.
At this point in my planning I basically had everything I needed, so I wrote a quick outline of scenes, as I always do, to see how it would flow scene to scene and if I had a place to put all the necessary plot info. I also ended up doing “what I need from this scene” lists for each scene so that I knew what I had to have on my mind to include before I sat down to write each one.
The actual writing was done over 3 days and fairly easily and quickly. I had a lot of fun not just with planning but with the actual process of creation. I think it’s because I was just honestly excited to be in this universe and play with this aesthetic.
Not to blow my own horn here but some parts that I was particularly pleased with were:
“Arkadia hasn’t seen a drop of rain in thirty-two days. The asphalt on the highway shimmers with heat; the air crackles with heat; the heat rises, stifling and strong, from the parched dirt and the cracks in the pavement.” Like I’m sorry but that’s a good image, I like that a lot. Whenever I felt discouraged, I just read that again and felt better.
The description of past Bellarke because boy howdy do I not care to write romance anymore but that was fun. I thought it was hot.
Transitioning Murphy laughing until the coyotes can hear into Bellamy hearing coyotes at night into Bellamy still hearing them during the day. I don’t know if it worked quite like I wanted to but in my head that is a very Cinematic transition, okay? I also like that even though Clarke and Murphy aren’t literally riding off together in that scene, for the reader, they are leaving the narrative never to be seen again. So they get their Dramatic Exit.
Octavia’s explication of the Theme and Bellamy’s possible motivations. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually having a theme and I think I did a good job of explaining it without being too heavy-handed. I also think it was perhaps risky to end with the POV of Octavia, a character who’s barely been in the fic before the last scene, but ultimately that decision felt right to me and I think it had a good flow, a nice mellow exit from the narrative.
What I didn’t like as much was a lot of the first scene. I think it has some great bits but it was the most re-worked part of the fic, and there are still some paragraphs and phrases that I feel are a little stiff. For example, this is a paragraph that I cut entirely:
Diyoza was sure the Griffin daughter did the deed back in January and she's sure about it still. She even gives a quote to the Sun-Times about it, despite her troubles with Green. But she had no proof then, not even a body to justify a murder charge, and she has little proof now. So no one believes the investigation will come to anything.
As you can see, it gives no new information. There were other sentences and phrases that weren’t doing work but were interrupting the flow, which also got cut, but I’m still not sure that the flow is perfect in the final version.
Also displeased that I edited out a * from the version on AO3, thus letting two scenes run together. How embarrassing!!! It’s fixed now though.
Overall though I’m so pleased! I love this fic and I love that I can love things again. This year has already been so hard, just like being battered again and again by waves of a storm, and it’s only 5 weeks in but this experience was so unabashedly good and I’m so grateful for it.
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