#idk I just. I know that their brain damage makes filtering literally impossible

[itsnotrealiwontlook]

No one talks about abusive relationships where the abuser isn’t completely evil. It’s always about abusers who don’t or can’t love their victims, abusers who are horrible and just want to control their victims, abusers who deserve no empathy

What happens when they love you? When your pain hurts them so bad you hide it? When you know that what they’re doing is horrible, but saying so would break them?

When they called me crying over wanting to kill themself, it wasn’t to manipulate me, it was because they needed to vent. But I was 14, and I know it shouldn’t have happened.

I comfort them, they think of me. I can’t be myself around them for fear of retribution. They insist on hanging up my drawings.

It isn’t healthy in the least, what’s between us, but they don’t mean to abuse me. I know they don’t. So how do I leave knowing that none of it was malicious? How do I hurt them more than they’ve been hurt when they thought I was on their side?

They don’t know anything about me. God, but they love me.