#idgi and it upsets me sometimes

[juniperpyre]

i used to not like the idea of james and lily feeling not good enough for each other but i think that might just be me projecting. this is very taurean of me but if something makes me feel good and isn't like, an act of violence, there's no reason not to do it. so it just made me like ? if you like yourself even just 50% why would you ever feel that way?

& i dislike when lily is written to be like "oh your house is so nice I don't fit in" :( I think she'd be used to that sort of thing after going to an elite boarding school. i think she'd be able to recognize her discomfort as unrelated to her inadequacies.

i think her main concern would be james being too naive to understand the consequences of their relationship for him, his social standing, and his physical safety.

when they're younger, like 16/17, which is also her lowest point imo, she'd realize her mistakes and grow while also seeing james with less bias and seeing him grow as well, so then she'd be like god i fucked up. he is actually great and i'm actually a huge coward and that's why he doesn't like me anymore.

but she gets past that! and they're in love xoxo

[worldwidegirlhood]

AUGUST 29, 1924

It's funny, most people can be around someone and then gradually begin to love them and never know exactly when it happened; but Ruth knew the very second it happened to her. When Idgie had grinned at her and tried to hand her that jar of honey, all these feelings that she had been trying to hold back came flooding through her, and it was at that second in time that she knew she loved Idgie with all her heart. That's why she had been crying, that day. She had never felt that way before and she knew she probably would never feel that way again.

And now, a month later, it was because she loved her so much that she had to leave. Idgie was a sixteen-year-old kid with a crush and couldn't possibly understand what she was saying. She had no idea when she was begging Ruth to stay and live with them what she was asking; but Ruth knew, and she realized she had to get away.

She had no idea why she wanted to be with Idgie more than anybody else on this earth, but she did. She had prayed about it, she had cried about it; but there was no answer except to go back home and marry Frank Bennett, the young man she was engaged to marry, and to try to be a good wife and mother.

Ruth was sure that no matter what Idgie said, she would get over her crush and get on with her life. Ruth was doing the only thing she could do.

When she told Idgie she was leaving for home the next morning, Idgie had gone completely crazy. She was in her room breaking things and carrying on so loud that you could hear her all over the house.

Ruth was sitting on her bed, wringing her hands, when Momma came in.

"Ruth, please go in there and talk to her. She won't let me or her daddy in the room, and everyone else is afraid to go in there. Please, honey, I'm scared she's gonna hurt herself."

They heard another crash.

Momma looked at Ruth and pleaded, "Oh. Ruth, she's just like a wounded animal, down there. Won't you please go and see if you can calm her down a little?"

Ninny came to the door. "Momma, Essie Rue says that now she's broken the lamp," and then she looked at Ruth apologeti-cally. "I think she's upset because you're leaving."

Ruth took the long walk down the hall. Julian, Mildred, Patsy Ruth, and Essie Rue were all hiding behind their bedroom doors, with nothing but their heads poked out, staring bug-eyed at her as she passed them by.

Momma and Ninny stood way down at the end of the hall. Ninny had her fingers in her ears.

Ruth tapped gently on Idgie's door.

From inside the room, Idgie yelled, "LEAVE ME ALONE, GODDAMMIT!" and threw something that crashed against the door.

Momma cleared her throat and said in a sweet voice, "Children, why don't we all go wait in the parlor and give Ruth some privacy."

All six of them went downstairs in a hurry.

Ruth continued to knock at the door. "Idgie, it's me."

"Get away!"

"I want to talk to you."

"No! Leave me alone!"

"Please, don't be like this."

"Get the hell away from the door and I mean it!" And some. thing else crashed against the door.

"Please let me in."

"NO!"

"Please, honey."

"NO!"

"IDGIE, OPEN THIS GODDAMNED DOOR RIGHT THIS MINUTE, AND I MEAN IT! DO YOU HEAR ME?"

There was a moment of silence. The door slowly opened.

Ruth walked in and closed it behind her. She saw that Idgie had broken everything in the room. Some things twice.

"Why are you acting like this? You knew I was going to have to leave sometime."

"Then why cain't you let me go with you?"

"I told you why."

"Then stay here."

"I cain't."

Idgie yelled at the top of her lungs, "WHY NOT?"

"Would you quit that yelling? You're embarrassing me and your mother. The whole house can hear you."

"I don't care."

"Well, I do. Why are you acting like such a baby?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO!"

"Idgie, have you lost your mind? What are people gonna think of a big grown girl like you acting like an I-don't-know-what?"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Ruth started picking things up.

"Why are you gonna marry that man?"

"I told you why."

"WHY?"

"Because I want to, that's why."

"You don't love him."

"Yes I do."

know you do!"

"Oh no you don't. You love me .. you know you do. You know you do!”

"Idgie, I love him and I'm going to marry him." Then Idgie went really crazy and started crying and screaming in a rage, "YOU'RE A LIAR AND I HATE YOU! I HOPE, YOU DIE! I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE! I HATE YOU"

Ruth took her by the shoulders and shook her as hard as she could. Tears were streaming down Idgie's face as she kept yelling, "I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!"

Ruth said, "Stop it! Do you hear me!" And before she knew what had happened, she had slapped Idgie across the face with all her might.

Idgie looked at Ruth, speechless and stunned. They just stood there, looking at each other, and in that moment Ruth wished more than anything in the world that she could just grab her and hold her as tight as she could; but if she had, she knew she would never let go.

So Ruth did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life; she just turned around and left, and closed the door behind her.

[themarcspector-arch]

otp: edgy bitch & chaotic thot | claudia & matt tagged by @multiverse-of-themind ( ☕✨ ) to use this template to give info on a ship. i would have done more cause it was a lot of fun to think about, but i have no idea how to mask the images and do the shapes on this and have been confused on it since i got tagged 😂, so graphic design is my biggest passion. but i wanted to do at least one, so i did the fools the best i could.

tagging: @moonsaints / @fayelistic / @outfromthesea / @thelittlestspider / @oliverjacksons / @deathlessfable / @theaisstillhere and anyone who wants to do it. say i tagged you 🥰

[fierceawakening]

TMI stuff behind cut

:readmore:

Honestly I sometimes wonder if high empathy (or at least my therapist says I have high empathy and that sounds right to me) is a big part of why I’m a top

Like… getting really intense positive reactions from my partner is better than orgasms. It doesn’t typically get me off but it takes, like, tapping a finger once on my clit to finish me

I suspect this is why a lot of account of rape confuse me too like… wouldn’t someone feeling upset or unsure make you feel terrible? Idgi

Similarly confused by the idea this isn’t useful. Like, I don’t generally want to upset people because it just leads to everyone feeling terrible! Them and then me from the vibes! Seems like that make being nice show up as a good plan?

Or at least make me likely to seriously consider actions I know will hurt others, and only engage in them when I have judged that the action is important in itself (say, whistleblowing) and that’s worth the Oh God ICK of making them all mad sad scared.

[allthebest20]

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg

6/10, I enjoyed it and I would recommend for a nice, light but slightly longer read.  My copy was 395 pages, but it’s broken up into tiny bite sized chapters and the font is rather large.  It is a book narrated by many different voices, and although the story primarily follows one women, it ultimately tells a very heartfelt tale about the experiences of several women living in Alabama in the twentieth century.

One of the main character is Mrs. Evelyn Couch, who lives in 1986 Birmingham, Alabama, a year before the book was published.  Evelyn meets Mrs. Ninny Threadegoode at the Rose Terrace Nursing Home when taking a break from her mother-in-law, and quickly becomes fascinated with Ninny’s stories of life back in Whistle Stop, Alabama.  Through these stories, “the Weem’s Weekly,” and other people’s perspectives, the biography of Idgie Threadegoode is unveiled.  There are parts from different newsletters and newspapers, but the Weems Weekly -- run by Mrs. Dot Weems in Whistle Stop for decades -- is the most common.

Idgie Threadegoode was born in the early 1900s.  Although no one ever let her forget her assigned gender, Idgie was obviously a man.  How do you speak about a trans man in a historically correct way?  I think it would be misleading for me to refer to Idgie as he/man tho, because Idgie never identified that way, and it’s simply not my place. The Idgie character never seems upset that they are called a women, Aunt, or she.  But Idgie does everything that a man would do at the time: wore pants, hunted and fished, loved women.  Idgie’s barely even socialized as a women, since they declare their masculinity from a young age, and the family takes it in stride.  No one in their small town seems to object either.

In many ways, the book does not explore Idgie’s emotional life.  We cannot know whether or not being misgendered bothered her, because the author does not explore this.  Fannie Flagg is a lesbian, but a feminine one, so perhaps she was not truly qualified to write this book.  At the same time, the book would likely not have had such success had it been more openly queer or romantic.

The biggest problem I have with the book is the way the black characters are portrayed.  I don’t know exactly what I didn’t like about it, but I just tend to think that white people write poorly from the black perspective.  The characters aren’t one dimensional stereotypes, but they fail to be fully three dimensional at the same time.  I suppose many of the characters fail to reach a certain realness because Flagg never gets too close emotionally.  Like any classic southern novel, the anti-racism is snuck in mostly through irony.  In the twenty-first century, her attempts fall flat, but perhaps back in 1986, it could have been eye opening for some readers, I’m not sure.  Generally, Flagg’s black characters are stereotypes that have been fleshed out only moderately: Sipsey, an old black women who loves the white people and helps raise their children, Big George, the big dark one, Artis and Jasper, the twins who are dark and light skinned.  Flagg was obviously supposed to be making references to colorism in society with the twins, but sometimes, when Artis is cast in a particularly bad light, it’s hard to remember that.

One of the most impactful parts of the book is actually Evelyn’s story.  Through talking with Ninny, she begins to question her own relationship with race and men.  I think if anything was eye opening in 1987, it was Evelyn’s perspective. I feel for Evelyn, a 48 year old women who has spent her life in fear, always doing what she was told and not wanting to offend anyone, and then suddenly realizing she has been mislead. She knows nothing about her own health, which is a sad reality for many women, especially in that time period.  Ninny, even as she slips closer to death, is able to be a powerful, female role model for Evelyn.  As women, it can be really hard to age.  It’s always great to be reminded that we will still be worthwhile at 50 or even 80.

SPOILER: I also cannot believe that they tried to casually pass off human cannibalism.  Well, actually, I can, because I almost forgot to mention it.  When I read that part, my brain was just like “wait, what? okay...”  Like I actually think that might be racist, suggesting that Sipsey killed a white man and then Big George cooked him and served him to customers.  Did Idgie know?  Did the family eat some of Frank Bennett? That’s really pretty gross, and I wish they hadn’t included that.

It was a cute story, but also pretty sad.  Idgie lived this great life: she had the Dill Pickle Club, a women she loved, a family, and a successful business.  Meanwhile, Evelyn’s miserable, Ruth was abused and raped for several years before she left Frank Bennett, and Ninny was never even around for the good parts of the story.  Even the women who lived good lives, seem limited compared to what Idgie was able to do: a reminder that life as a women is hard work.  It’s caring for the men and children in your life for your entire life.  It’s staying home and being afraid. The book ends with Idgie still single, living with her brother.  Ruth and Idgie only live together for 20 years, and Idgie spends the next 40 without a lover I suppose.  Meredith says that how it’s like for a lot of queers down south.

Still, Evelyn’s story is supposed to be the glimmer of hope.  After meeting Ninny, she becomes a star Mary Kaye cosmetics dealer and goes to a retreat in L.A. to lose weight, where she makes a bunch of friends.  She gets to live her life, and she gets to be feminine.

[ferrereads]

“Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe” by Fannie Flagg

On-book Summary: “It’s first the story of two women in the 1980′s, of gray-haired Mrs. Threadgood telling her life story to Evelyn, who is in the sad slump of middle age. the tale she tells is also of two women-of the irrepressibly dare-devilish tomboy Idgie and her friend Ruth, who back in the thirties ran a little place in Whistle Stop, Alabama, a Southern Cafe Wobegon offering good barbecue and good coffee and all kinds of love and laughter, even an occasional murder.

Who should read it? I’d say anyone 15 and older. There are some swears and some slurs. This book is pretty daring for 1987. It tackled racism, homophobia, feminism, exploring your sexuality, and a few others. Flagg did an amazing job of touching on all of these topics and tying it into the plot without the whole book being doom and gloom. 

Why I read it: In my freshman year of high school, I was in a Drama and Film class taught by an older man- Mr. Martel- who also taught the Creative Writing class (which I also took). He wanted to show us the movie adaptation because “it’s incredibly brave that the author would write about lesbians when she did.” I read this book in my sophomore year, a few months after I came out as lesbian. 

Possible Spoilers Through Favorite Passages

“Imagine those boys: They’re terrified to sit next to a n***** and have a meal, but they’ll eat eggs that came right out of a chicken’s ass.”

“Oh, Idgie!”

Idgie laughed. “I’m sorry, but it just makes me mad sometimes.”

“I know, honey, but you shouldn’t get yourself so upset. That’s just the way people are and there’s nothing in the world you can do to change them. That’s just how it is.”

Idgie smiled at her and wondered what would happen if she didn’t have Ruth to let off steam with. Ruth smiled back. 

...After that day, the only thing that changed was on the menu that hung on the back door; everything was a nickle or dime cheaper. 

“I was already married with two children when I found out that I didn’t have to get married. I thought you had to. What did I know?... I’m too young to be old and I’m too old to be young.” 

Saturday, Ruth and Idgie had a birthday for their little boy.

“But there was something wild about Idgie that was like a wild animal. She wouldn’t let anybody get too close to her. When she thought that somebody liked her too much, she’d just take off in the woods.”

...Then, pretty soon she took to showing off; hanging upside down [from the chinaberry tree], throwing the football in the yard, and coming home with a huge string of fish over her shoulder at the same time that Ruth would be coming across the street from church. 

“Mama looked at us and whispered, ‘Now, children, your sister has a crush, and I don’t want one person to laugh at her. Is that understood?”

...They just took to each other, and you could hear them sittin’ on the swing on the porch, gigglin’ all night. Even Sipsey razzed her. She’s see Idgie by herself and say, “that ol’ love bug done bit Idgie.”

“I’d rather kill for love that kill for hate.”

“Look, I don’t want to bother you. I know you’re probably very happy and all... I mean, I’m sure you are, but I just wanted you to know that I don’t hate you and I never did. I still want you to come back and I’m not a kid anymore, so I’m not gonna change. I still love you and I always will and I still don’t care what anybody thinks-”

...There had not been a day when Ruth had not thought about her.

“...I want you both to know that I’ll never leave again. I should never have left her four years ago, I know that now. But I’m going to try and make it up to her and never hurt her again. You have my word on that.”

...”Well, I hope you’re aware of what in you’re in for. Idgie’s a handful, you know.”

Momma shushed him. “Oh Poppa, Ruth knows that. Don’t you, dear? It’s just that she has a wild streak...”

She had stayed a virgin so she wouldn’t be called a tramp or a slut; had married so she wouldn’t be called an old maid; faked orgasms so she wouldn’t be called frigid; had children so she wouldn’t be called barren; had not been a feminist because she didn’t want to be called queer and a man hater; never nagged or raised her voice so she wouldn’t be called a bitch...

Evelyn wondered; why always sexual names? And why, when men wanted to degrade other men, did they call them pussies? As if that was the worst thing in the world. What have we done to be thought of that way? To be called cunt? People didn’t call blacks names anymore, at least not to their faces. Italians weren’t wops or dagos, and there were no more kikes, Japs, chinks, or spics in polite conversation. Everybody had a group to protest and stick up for them. But women were still being called names by men. Why? Where was our group? 

“Oh honey, it does no good to hate. It’ll do nothing but turn your heart into a bitter root. People cain’t help being what they are anymore than a skunk can help being a skunk. Don’t you think if they had their choice they would rather be something else?”

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[fadingstarryskies]

long ass rant

my partner is upset with me

he says im always mad and he often has this perception of me whenever i have a negative emotion for yrs

i tell him im not mad but idk maybe i am? i cant tell i think im just sad and sometimes defending myself (i say all of that)

but ugh things have just gotten rly bad and were both suicidal but i thinj hes more willjng to die and im worried abt him but idk what to di and i cant di anything

bc i always make the wrong decision

everything i do ends up hurting someone lately and im worse at being able to tell what ppl want and i feel myself from yesterday fading in on myself and having a facade

the thing is im not good at that at all bc again i cant twll what ppl want!!! and i always choose the bad thing

i dont try to be bad , i dont try to fight it just happens

i

i cant just say nothing ever and just be ok but hooefully i can start doing that

itll also be bad prolly

idk what to do

i dont want to have ever existed

bc its all 'id die without you, if y9u didnt exist id already have kms probably' but its also like 'you shit on me and are an ass so whats thw point *hurts himself*'

and i dont try to and i SAY i didnt try to ill try to be better i only want to make u happy

but then im told that everything i say or do is on purpose?? bc i choose to do it? and thats correct technically but i also cant not say / do anything bc thats also sometimes taken as an act of aggression and lack of,,, being nice

so i just have to be perfect idk i rly dont know like obv he doesnt expect that but idgi

bc apparently i always say i try and i never change but i swear im trying , i cant do this

[restless-stirring]

the universal experience of twidtch streemers playing dork souls 1 blind run:

resists taking hints from chat (this is the only good thing on this list)

plays with keyboard and mouse (KBAM). I AM A PC GAMER AND I USE KBAM ONLY

doesn’t use KBAM to manually aim thrown projectiles

is that my guy? thats not my guy. why do i look like Arby’s roast beef

lock on to target is for weaklings

doesn’t read any tutorial messages. anything learned is immediately forgotten

misses every obvious gameplay hint painstakingly layered into the level geometry and mob AI by devs. the alluring skulls in front of hte church is the best example

is th streamer trolling the chat or is the chat trolling the streamer. why not both

takes 3+ hours to figure out what number in bottom right is

6+ hours to discover how to sprint

12+ hours to discover how to slide down ladder. this is an advanced technique

kicks are completely random and meaningless. why cant i rebind kick

spear+shield hollows are OP

never figures out how critical attacks work

wears heaviest armor possible because more armor equals better protection, which will assuredly make me die less

despair sets in. taking only one hit on the way to a boss fight makes the player give up and repeatedly say just kill me. JUST KILL ME. JUST KILL ME YOU FUCK. you died. YOU FUCKING FUCK. ASS. SHIT. streamer reveals tehy have avgn dna

overlevels (lacks theory of grinding that connects it to granular difficulty setting in exchange for walltime)

refuses to look at anything that isn’t directly in front of their character, absolutely does not look at any object or structure in the distance. not INTERESTED in looking at a fully modeled and rendered world, never connects structures visible in distance with level geometry

literally can’t see treasure, doesn’t care about treasure, is too good for treasure. hey look at all that treasure over there. oh well i;’lll never even try to get it. i just want to get to the next boss

refuses to use any item that cures poison or toxic

gets extremely frustrated by dying to poison. being poisoned means certain death, every time

33% chance that streamer attacks merchants so they aggro but doesn’t kill them

75% chance of not finding undead burg merchant because exploring is off limits

says they won’t explore or look at anything or for anything except boss fights because theyr extremely worried about the stream being boring. this is about cash monies, thank you so much for donating, YOU DIED, give me your twitch prime subs, i have to take a piss break, i don’t wash my hands because my dick is clean,

“use item”. why is it crossed out. click it anyway. why is not working. how do i equip. WHY DO I HAVE TO EQUIP FROM THE EQUIP SCREEN. i don’t know how to do that. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. STOP TELLIN GME (the dark souls menu is the dark souls of menus)

refusses to look at the commands listed at the bottom of the menu

i don’t like games that make me read words. no, even five words is too many. too many words.

tries to kill crestfallen or cleric at firelink shrine,; is surprised when NPC can be attacked. upset about being killed reepeatedly at firelink shrine by NPC they attacked

10+ hours to discover what the green bar at the top left of the screen does. might or might not figure out what guarding is, but never learns what stability means

fire keeper soul improves estus flask. oh i’ll Use Item. it gave me souls? my estus is the same??? idgi (the chat either shits itself in anger or dies laughing, sometimes both)

humanity restores HP. i better save this and never use it ever (the humanity system has too many weird words and concepts, also the big number in the top left, which is usually one of three numbers on the UI at all times, is a meaningless graphical artifact taht must be ignored)

10+ hours to figure out what “kindle bonfire” means, or never learns what it means and never does it

will the game let me fall off here. oh (gravity is their worst enemy)

ENEMEIS ATTAK THRU WALLS BUT MY WEAPON BOUNCES OFF???

enemy drinks estus: CHEATING ASSHOLE. YOU FUCK. im completely chill, what are you talking about,

I BEAT THE GAME i hate this, i hate you, i hate myself, i hate this game. next up is another darks ousl games remember to follow, subscribe, tell your friends, give me your twitch prime sub, luv u