#idek what im posting. im not present. im fucking high

[lusalemaart]

Quick study of Edvard Munch's Love and Pain . Except it's with my very self indulgent fucked up little guys AU

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

im so sorry youre receiving backlash from these people. why is it that every time someone calls out racism they take it as personal? why arent they ready to have these discussions to improve a fandom space to make it more inclusive? thats not too much to ask. the reason u, @/demonqueenart @/lesbianphan and others are talking about this is to bring these issues to the forefront when in places like this racism has high chances of running rampant. is that so hard to understand? esp when we have had quite frequently seen that dnp, adults with quite good critical thinking, have never stopped to acknowledge their microaggressions, present or past? we as poc have no obligation to be understanding about that, but we are. because in a community, you try to make things better. THATS what a community is. you look at flaws and instead of burning bridges you try to make it accommodating for everyone. and by that I mean EVERYONE. if the people pouring hate into others inboxes do not understand that, then they have a LOT of self reflection to do.

as an indian, i got so fucking uncomfortable when i heard dan talk about his frequent vacations in the country. because when you live there and know all of the colonial implications and the other party doesnt, you arent in a position to do anything about it. so you let it go.

there is no need to stay quiet about this. because clearly the moment you stay quiet people are starting to try to bury the hatchet.

ps: you dont have to answer or even reply to this. i know these conversations are fucking exhausting and i dont want to burden you more than you already are.

Thanks for the message ❤️ yeah idek what more to say here for every few minutes of feeling hopeful from people being receptive there's another hour of feeling absolutely invisible, like woah sorry this was hard for y'all to hear XD sorry I'm making your feel awkward or dirty or whatever, but it's frankly your responsibility to learn and grow you're grown adults now jfc

Gonna reblog my post about the indian colonial thingy too since many people don't know how very Obvious these things are to us, but if you guys don't engage with us when we try to teach you you'll never learn will you? What more can we do?

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

yknow while this hellsite continues on the whole religion discussion thing, i’d like to jump in on it with my experience particularly with leaving catholic school.

like aside from my angsty pop-punk/emo etc teen phase (which’ll obvs be weaved into story later on) that led me to have different views from the church and aside from the whole sexism thing that i endured over my year 10 formal/junior prom in 2010 and 2011 from staff there….. i found it within myself incredibly hard to leave there… mostly because i’d known literally 1/3 of my year group at catholic school since kindy/kindergarten or some other point in primary school.

this affected my choice to leave and it was quite tumultuous inwardly. knowing the safety and predictably of the people i was with for all those years was a comfort to me. i knew their parents due to parent mixer bbqs that we’d have after mother’s day and father’s day liturgies- although i hated the mother’s day ones mostly, due to personal reasons. but to leave that comfortable place for overly loyal, kinda sorta shy (although everyone who knew me at that school wouldn’t’ve described me as shy bc i was a very loud show off because of drama class 😅) and by year 10, very lonely, highly socially anxious and depressed, teen me was terrifying. it meant losing her friends and stability and she obvs hated that thought. it meant leaving the one one place she ever felt good at something, drama class.

obviously, after she did leave for public school, she visited the catholic school on a few separate occasions, to try and keep the connection “alive” or whatever the fuck she wrote in a fake deep status on her fb (that i now get in my fb memories every year lmao). but it all ended pretty badly, when everyone from that school stopped talking to her once high school finished. no one invited her out. or if people did try to invite her out, like a couple of people did, it always fell through…. and it made her feel like she was just a bad luck charm or whatever other low self esteem talk she was telling herself. there was quite a few moody statuses around that too lmao.

but yeah. leaving catholic school was a massive thing for me back then, because even though i hadn’t gone to church on sunday for literal Y E A R S at that point; i still had a strong pull to that school because i’d known SO MANY kids at that school from primary/elementary/grade etc school, regardless of their year group level. because if there’s one thing catholic school was good at, it was networking 😂. you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. it was safe, it was sound, so i didn’t want to leave.

but once you leave, you lose your friends and what almost felt like an extended family (although they obvs weren’t). but at the same time, i’d grown to hate the safety and almost insularity of the school, because as i mentioned earlier, you felt like you could predict how people would react or behave in class/events etc.

i felt the above distinctly, because as i’ve mentioned plenty on here, from years 7-10 i was a very emotionally demonstrative kid. in some classes (mostly religion and PE when i was bothered to participate) i’d end up in shouting matches with the teacher or other students…. or y’know just have a casual meltdown in the middle of class, which many people saw as “attention seeking” behaviour. i felt watched, i felt ready to snap, and to quote the ever present All Time Low i felt like the bridge lyrics from “therapy” (which was/is quite obviously somewhat partially about the price of fame and hollywood imo- but that went over teen me’s head at the time lmao):

“arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they’re better off without you (better off without you). arrogant boy, cause a scene like you’re supposed to, they’ll fall asleep without you; you’re lucky if your memory remains”

like yes. i’ll admit those bridge lyrics being applied to this time is rather overdramatic, in hindsight, but hey. that was teen me for ya lmao. and don’t even get me started on applying ATL’s song “sick little games” to this at the time as well 😂😅. anyway. from all the “lms and i’ll tell you what i like about you” trend statuses that people were doing back then on fb, i’d gained the tag of “cool/chill girl”, my crush rich boy, once called me “outrageous” because of how loud i was and how willing in years 7-9 to scream out stupid song lyrics like “i want to fuck dog in the ass” by blink 182, fight song by marilyn manson and then idek probably my humps by black eyed peas at the top my lungs through the very few halls that that school had 😂😅. i was being purposely and annoyingly offensive most of the time.

but eventually, once it came to things like one of the girls in my group wanting to run for vice school captain and the other girls in my group A L W A Y S being given leadership positions (LPs)….. while i always had to apparently “repent” my behaviour by being made (in theory from my teachers) to sit alone at lunch because of my “embarrassing” and “unseemly” behaviour at the so-called “training”/ “retreat” days we had for things like being peer support leaders for the new cohort of year 7s etc etc. i felt like everyone was just waiting for me to leave…. and that they couldn’t stand my “embarrassing” presence and that i’d ruin my friends chances of being selected as co-captain or whatever other bullshit LPs they wanted to run for. but still. i felt like i couldn’t leave. just. how do you leave a bunch of people that you’ve known for so long???

and even when my teachers were nice enough to give me a chance in a leadership position once; in that dastardly bullshit internet safety workshop thing that they should’ve literally just hired a professional workshop co. to do….. but to save money they used students in my year group instead. so, instead of being marked by my teachers on this program; i was marked by the catholic education office. they had a lady come in from the ceo to judge/mark us while presenting…… and this lady went off at teen me for “not being professional, responsible and respectful” or whatever the fuck the woman told 15/16yo me…. which teen me then fired back with “i don’t have to be fucking professional and responsible!!!! IM FUCKING 15!!!!”.. so from then on i was never given an LP or any other type of “peer support” role against my friends who were littered with offers for them. mind you, i did call a whole room of 14 year olds “a bunch of cunts” or the like and then stormed out thinking that i’d made a solid point, so the CEO woman had a good reason 😂😅….. again in hindsight.

of course there was also the bitterness of teen me being angry at the english dept for not giving her a spot in the top class of english in her half of the year. but as i’ve said previously on other posts, i’ve forgiven this because i did essentially fail one shakespeare in class assessment in year 8 or year 9 😂. but i strongly felt this during my time at catholic school bc my friends believed that i should’ve been in the top english class too lmao.

but aside from those troubles and foibles, i still found it incredibly hard to leave. to leave the perceived closeness of that group of girls, who would sometimes walk me down to the office and sit with me in “purple room” while i waited for the teacher that had to act as my therapist almost lmao. even though i always told my friends to leave me be and go back to class bc i felt bad about dragging them out of class for so long.

but yeah. with all the above behaviour, the song lyrics to me at the time made sense bc teen me just felt so pressured to fit into the whole “funny, cool, outrageous girl” bs box that people had put her in…. but at the same time she wanted to escape it bc she was just *flyleaf voice* SO SICK of being laughed at instead of laughed with (atl weightless reference here kids) just because… like she DESERVED to be taken seriously for fucks sake, and not a be a “monkey do funny dance” person… she obvs felt this the most in drama class. where in the shakespeare unit, she picked a medley of romeo and juliet and taming of the shrew monologues to do for her monologue. although she nearly did lady macbeth throwing herself off the tower, to be hella edgy…. but she opted not to do that in the end. but she picked serious pieces bc she was sick and tired of being classed as the one trick pony go-to funny person.

okay. this really went off topic. but y’all get the point??? the decision of leaving catholic school was a hell of a ride for little 14-16yo me. it was confusing, terrifying and tied up in years of being overly judged and feeling like people wanted me to leave bc they were sick of me. it was tied up in years of mid-class meltdowns that had become kind of routine for me to have, and that people were just brushing me off as “attention seeking”…. but also ironically waiting for me to snap at any second for another wild shouting match or walkout; which would then make me look like i was “unruly” or “untameable/unmanageable” or whatever the fuck….. but i couldn’t take that anymore, for the final senior years. i HAD to leave it.

again it was hard to leave for loyal little teen me, despite how lonely and isolated she felt. why leave your friends when you’re comfortable??? but also: why stay in this toxic environment where people are just waiting for you to either shut the fuck up and put up with it or just blow up and absolutely lose your shit??? that’s just unhealthy asf. and the only unruly thing that’s happening here is the complete lack of mental health help or management in the aussie education system; but most especially in religious schools.

[lcofowler]

THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — leopold kristoff fowler

NICKNAME — leo pretty exclusively methinks........ one of his brother’s used to call him krissy to annoy him n stopped after leo finally punched him over it snickers

D.O.B. — november 12th, 1996

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — board | tag

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo ascending

MBTI — estp - the entrepeneur

MORAL ALIGNMENT — chaotic neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single & pansexual

LANGUAGES — english & dutch

TALENTS / HOBBIES — guitar, bass, drumming, partying titters, soccer, wastes way too much time making tiktoks

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — creedence clearwater revival, dababy :/, elvis presley, run the jewels, glass animals

FAVOURITE BOOK — has he ever even read a book................. a genuine good question. definitely liked some comics tho, like the walking dead ones probs

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — hes tht person whose fav movie is like . step brothers or something. like i unironically think leo loves tht movie n im sry abt it. he jst doesnt rly care wht he watches at all bt stupid humour like tht wld probs entertain him enough if he was watching something on his own / was attached to the walking dead cuz of the comics but otherwise doesn’t watch too many tv, probs watches marj’s Soaps w her whenever he has free time

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — i dnt kno much abt video games. he was probs more of an outdoors than video game kid bt feel like he’d like games w a story like life is strange or dumb ones tht rnt taken seriously n u can jst play simply on ur laptop like coming out on top or tht old computer game façade

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — worked A Lot to make up fr the damage he’d done after his last Episode at a local grocery store, jst hung out n partied w friends mostly otherwise

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — florida n new york mostly in the states before connecticut, amsterdam a lot, greece and italy as well

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — has been given a fuck ton of mood stabilizers to try n hes only jst recently started Actually taking carbatrol tht hes been prescribed after basically being begged to by his aunt n uncle

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — bipolar i, adhd

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — stu from scream (minus the murder lawl), jj maybank from outer banks, valerio from elite, ransom from knives out (minus the murder once more this pattern is getting scary)

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — yes they work as a florist at his aunt n uncle’s flower store fowler’s flowers! steve was so proud of all his hard work this summer he promoted leo to supervisor! :D

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — he was definitely talked about, but he also went to like 5 diff high schools, people jst basically heard rumours n saw the stupid stuff he did n if they stuck around to see it it was merely bc they wanted to see if he had the balls to go through with his next stupid plan instead of with the intent of friendship or anything like that

DO THEY DO DRUGS? — ya he kinda jst does wtvr

DRINK? — too much yes.

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — not as much as he used to

SMOKE WEED? — a bit mostly if someone else offers it up

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — he was born in tallahassee but grew up between there n manhattan a lot depended on wht parent wasnt sick of him yet titters

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — he doesn’t even kno if he’s gna make it thru his undergrad

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — there are none..... he wldnt b surprised if he jst ended up working at fowler’s flowers fr the rest of his life hes jst so comfortable there n has no idea wht hes gna do.

PARENTS NAMES — renata & archibald (mom n dad), marjorie & steven (aunt n uncle, current guardians)

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — Yeth theres augustus (28), mikhael (26), vaughn (21), n willhelm (18)

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — mitzie’s a tortoiseshell cat tht lives at marj n steve’s tht he does love quite dearly bt thts it

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — lawl no, his dad is 7th day adventist tugs my shirt collar but leo hated it growing up, is pretty spiritual tho thanks to marj n steve

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — god. a Lot. 100+ frankly idek........ he jst doesnt care.

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — he doesn’t have his own car but he borrows his aunt n uncle’s if they’re not using it, rides his bike around a lot

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — so . insanely all over the place. jst doesn’t care. once wore a pair of his aunts leggings to a fkin funeral bc he didnt have anything clean. wore a crop top he made with the words ‘this is what gay looks like’ to a job interview. a sweater that said ‘big dick is back in town’ to a family reunion after he hadnt seen his immediate family in like . a year. jst a lot of absurd thrift store finds n wtvr he wants. patterns tht dont match. very proud of his neon green dr martens w aliens on the side. anything loud rly.......

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — either/or

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — not really, but he pretends he does and relays them all to his aunt to freak her out bc she RLY believes them

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — yes<3

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM — “It is an act of rebellion to remain present, to go against society’s desire for you to numb yourself, to look away. But we must not look away.”

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — morning in america - jon bellion

[strangerinaholyplace]

A SUMMONING BUT I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE

OKAY KIDDOS TIME FOR ANALYZING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS

first of all I am only pointing out the more obscure/less noticeable/weird stuff I found, because y’all ain’t dumb and you’ve obviously seen the Demolition Lovers and the Dracs, so!

numero uno!!

hello mikeyway glasses (not exactly, but close) and I’m Not Okay inhaler!

numero dos!

y’all have probably seen her but I cried a bit soooo PANSY!!! (I’m so sorry for the shitty screengrabs btw i am not as they say hip with the computer stuffs so i just did some printscreens from yt) 

(ugh that is really bad quality sorry)

numero tres!

I am actually kinda bummed that i don’t know what that eye is (unless it’s the eye from the post box in the desert in nanana???) BUT! the picture top right corner is from The Black Parade Is Dead! In Mexico! yay!

(also i got tired of cropping the screenshots in paint so you’re getting timestamps now too lol)

numero quatro! (someone stop me i don’t know if I can count that high in spanish lo siento)

you know WHAT THEY DO TO GUYS LIKE US IN PRISOOOOON

NUMERO CINQUE (I THINK?)

most of y’all already caught that from the previous teaser but mister chemical romances jacket! raymond himself wore that!! 

NUMERO CINQUE AND A HALF

while we’re on the topic of clothes, here’s the famous skeleton hoodie that i’m still not sure if it was franks or gerards??? anyway 13yo me was obsessed with it but i didn’t have the money for one

NUMERO SEIS

speaking of interesting fashion choices... i actually have one of those. and that’s all i’m gonna say bout that. TEENAGERS! YAY!

numero sieteeeeee

now we don’t have time to unpack all of this SIKE WE DO 

this is actually a bit sad, sorry! It’s everyone who passed away, and so i actually numbered the pictures to give you a quick rundown:

oh and before that - dia de los muertos skull! and matches that will be relevant later!

1. & 2. I’m pretty sure that’s franks grandparents on his mothers side, but don’t hold me to that!

3. imo this is Dixie, bob bryars dog???? i am confusion but also i get it, they’re all good dogs brent

4. is probably peppers?? i don’t even know anymore y’all im a fake fan, he has too many fucking dogs i can’t keep up

5.  Lauren Valencia, their tour manager who passed last year from cancer

6. with a better view below is fronks grandpa! the drummer! he has a tattoo of him made by k*t v*n d

7. i am about 86.2% sure that’s Elena Way, but i don’t think gerard or mikey ever shared any pictures of her, so i’m not gonna say for sure!

8. that’s mister chemical romance senior! rays dad, who let me say looks like freddie mercury and i respect that

9. oh no another dog ummm uhh eyyy idk sweat pea??? maybe?? idk i need like a separate wiki page just for franks dogs

10. i actually don’t know who that is either so pls lmk if you do! (i feel like i’ve seen his face before but can’t place it, sorry!)

(bonus pic of mr Iero Sr.!)

OH ALSO

Our Lady Of Sorrows is the way Madonna is presented with seven swords in her heart for the seven sorrows lbh you all have read the unholyverse and know what’s up 

numero idek i got lost ocho maybe??

random old revenge era gerard way art on the wall idk thought you might’ve missed it

NUMERO NUEVE (i remembered)

I know y’all have seen it but i’m really excited about it!!!! so here it is again,,,,,, hotel bella muerte keyring!

NUMERO DIEZ!!!

NOW WE’RE GETTING INTO IT HELL YEAH LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

GAY VAMPIRES IN NEON COLORS THIS IS WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THIS BAND HAS NEVER BEEN STRAIGHT

oh and here’s rays medic helmet from ghost of you and the STARVED TO DEATH IN A LAND OF PLENTY banner from wttbp (that banner is still the most communist thing gerard ever did and i am in love with it) from two povs so you can see better!

NUMERO ONCE! (wow i can’t believe i still remember how to count in spanish)

WRITINGS ON THE WAAAAAAALLLLS this is my favorite part for two reasons: 1. i’m pretty sure gerard did that graffiti himself because that’s his xoxo shape and 2. i love graffiti! and mcr! and mcr graffiti! ok lets go

she loves you on the left and saints protect her now on the right side of kids head, in green paint next to it is UNLEASH THE BATS also i’m not sure what the relevance of Alien Blaster is but our boys always were nerds so oh well

above and behind the middle drac are the whispers!! you know which whispers!! the one at the end of vampires!!!  also kinda cut off but at the very top it says DIE IN THE DESERT and behind the gentleman on our right i’m pretty sure is heaven help us!!! 

NUMERO DOCE (i’m really proud of myself rn)

and we’re back to the matches! 

btw this shot is dope as fuck and i love venom so much

NUMERO..... (shit now i’m bummed) 13..... idk how it is in spanish :(((((

we’re in the parade now! not much to unpack here except desolation row from watchmen which to this day is my favourite mcr music video!!!!

numero.. CATORCE! I REMEMBER!

HELL YEAH BABY I’M NOT OKAY REFERENCE

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

i know y’all have seen it it wasn’t really subtle, but i wanted to throw in my theory! that’s not teenagers! or even the helium wars! THAT SYMBOLIZES THE BREAK UP! thanks for coming to my ted talk

i’m sorry if this makes less sense than the video itself my adhd will not stop today but i had to make this!! even if everyone has seen all of that before i’m proud that i got all of it in here!! thanks and have a nice us tour from us here in the europes